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Speaker 1: There are no losses in life, only lessons.

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Speaker 2: Oh that's a good one. And I feel like when

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Speaker 2: you exist in a space of gratitude, more comes your way.

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Speaker 2: Dead Ass.

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Speaker 1: It all started with real talk, unfiltered, honest and straight

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Speaker 1: from the heart. Since then, we've gone on to become

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Speaker 1: Webby award winning podcasters in New York Times bestselling authors.

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Speaker 2: Dead Ass was more than a podcast for us. It

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Speaker 2: was about our growth, a place where we could be vulnerable,

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Speaker 2: be wrong.

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Speaker 1: Of course, but most apportantly be us.

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Speaker 2: But as we know, life keeps evolving and so do we,

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Speaker 2: and through it all, one thing has never changed. This

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Speaker 2: a sever after because we got a lot to talk about.

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Speaker 1: Story time, I'm gonna take y'all back to twenty nineteen.

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Speaker 1: There was so much gratitude during this story, during times

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Speaker 1: where it was out that led us to where we

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Speaker 1: are today. It is March twenty nineteen. I say to Kadeen, Yo,

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Speaker 1: We're gonna move to LA. We got to move to La.

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Speaker 1: We got to make a move. I was speaking to

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Speaker 1: my homegirl Maya at the time about feeling stagnant in

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Speaker 1: New York and it was like, I don't feel like

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Speaker 1: I can move forward if I just stay here.

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Speaker 2: She both felt uncomfortable, like we were getting very uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I was like, she was like, what's making

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Speaker 1: you stay here? So we had built so much here,

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Speaker 1: We built out our family community, the gym was rocking,

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Speaker 1: doing very very well. I had partial ownership in the gym,

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Speaker 1: and you and I were both doing well on social media.

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Speaker 1: It just felt like, let's stay in New York and

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Speaker 1: do what was comfortable. And she was like, it sounds

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Speaker 1: like you're making excuses. So I said, fine, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: talk to Kay. We're gonna move you and I decided

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Speaker 1: we were going to move to LA At the same time,

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Speaker 1: you were planning my thirty fifth birthday trip to go

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Speaker 1: to Egypt, right to go to Cairo, And I get

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Speaker 1: a phone call from my manager at the time and

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Speaker 1: she goes, Deval got something amazing for you. I'm like what.

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Speaker 1: She's like, Remember that audition you had that you sent

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Speaker 1: out for this show called Bigger And I was like yeah.

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Speaker 1: She was like, you have a directed session. I was like,

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Speaker 1: stop playing. She was like yes, Like when is the date?

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Speaker 1: She was just like April third. I was like fuck,

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Speaker 1: He's like, why said the day after my birthday? Was

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Speaker 1: supposed to be going to Egypt, and she was just like, well,

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Speaker 1: this is an opportunity. And then I get another email

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Speaker 1: Kadeen has the same director session for the same show

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Speaker 1: for a different character. So at this point it's like, Yo,

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Speaker 1: let's not harp over the fact that we're going to

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Speaker 1: miss out an opportunity to go to Egypt. Let's be

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Speaker 1: grateful that we both having opportunities to do what we

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Speaker 1: really love, which is to be on the television show.

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Speaker 1: So we cancel the trip. We had about what fifteen

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Speaker 1: people who were all going to be on this trip.

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Speaker 1: It was something excited. It was my thirty fifth birthday.

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Speaker 1: Up until that point, I hadn't spent any of those

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Speaker 1: birthdays celebrating myself right. The last time I did was

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Speaker 1: my thirtieth. But then every year after that something always

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Speaker 1: came up. But rather than being just disappointed and upset,

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Speaker 1: I was grateful. You and I fly out to why.

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Speaker 2: It's holding I was holding. You said it two times,

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Speaker 2: and I was trying so hard not to say, I

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Speaker 2: don't run the joke. Don't run the joke.

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Speaker 1: Okay, You and I fly to LA We auditioned for

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Speaker 1: Bigger and you and I both don't get picked, right,

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Speaker 1: And I think I told this story one time before,

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Speaker 1: so if you go back and listen to the podcast,

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Speaker 1: you understand. But neither of us get picked. But they

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Speaker 1: did call me back and say, hey, we want you

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Speaker 1: and Chase to read again tomorrow, right, So we stayed

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Speaker 1: in the extra day. Kadeen, not even caring that she

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Speaker 1: wasn't selected, was just like excited. She was just grateful

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Speaker 1: that one of us had the opportunity something. So you

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Speaker 1: and I study. They gave me three sides, sides for

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Speaker 1: people who don't know, sides of what they give you

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Speaker 1: to read during an audition. These are pages that I

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Speaker 1: hadn't seen. It's a script. It's about two pages of

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Speaker 1: the script. And you and I practiced all night. I

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Speaker 1: still have footage on my phone if you and I practicing,

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Speaker 1: you crying because you're like, you're gonna get.

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Speaker 2: This, You're going to get this. Yes, you're right. I

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Speaker 2: do remember that, And man.

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Speaker 1: I go back the next day and I kill it,

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Speaker 1: kill the audition. I just knew it was gonna be

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Speaker 1: mine and you and I sitting there and I remember

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Speaker 1: Robbie Reid. Robbie Reid comes and she texts me after

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Speaker 1: that she said, hey, you're still here. I said, yes,

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Speaker 1: I'm me and can even get me leave? She said,

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Speaker 1: don't leave, you come back upstairs to the office. And

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Speaker 1: I go back to the office, and you know, I

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Speaker 1: remember telling you, like, yo, this is this is the moment.

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Speaker 1: This is the moment where Robbie Reed's gonna look me

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Speaker 1: in my eyes and tell me like, yo, welcome to

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Speaker 1: the cast. There bigger and you're going to be our guy.

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Speaker 1: And I go in there smiling. I got my girl

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Speaker 1: behind me, and Robbie Reed was just like, have a seat,

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Speaker 1: and she was like, yo, it was close. You did amazing.

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Speaker 1: It came down to you and Chase, and I was

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Speaker 1: like yeah. She was like, we're gonna go with Chase,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, the fuck you brought me up

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Speaker 1: here for to tell me? So I was thinking right,

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Speaker 1: but then I was like, you know what, in this moment,

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna be grateful. I remember sweating because I

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Speaker 1: felt I was going to pass out. Remember I thought

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Speaker 1: I was gonna pass out because I was so hurt.

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Speaker 1: And I sat down and you started rubbing my head

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Speaker 1: and you was I'll never forget that you was rubbing

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Speaker 1: the sweat off my brow and rubbing it on your pants,

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Speaker 1: and Robbie reed was just like listening to vout. You

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Speaker 1: did an amazing job. And the reason why I called

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Speaker 1: you up here was because I want you to not

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Speaker 1: give up. There was nothing that you did that made

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Speaker 1: it so that you can't get this role. It was

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Speaker 1: just Chase had better chemistry with the lead and there

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Speaker 1: was something they had that we just we liked. And

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Speaker 1: I was like, bro, that's the nature of the business.

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Speaker 1: This role was in mine and I'm leaving there. And then,

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Speaker 1: rather than be upset, I remember saying like, damn. Me

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Speaker 1: and Chase had great chemistry because we had talked about

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Speaker 1: wearing the same outfit, not the first day, but the

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Speaker 1: first and the second day. We literally wore the same

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Speaker 1: exact outfit. And I texted him and I was like, YO, congratulations,

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Speaker 1: my guy, Like you did your thing. You yeah, You're

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Speaker 1: gonna be the one. And he was like, one what

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Speaker 1: And I was just like, Yo, congratulations, you got to roll.

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Speaker 1: Robbie text me I didn't get it, or Robbie met

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Speaker 1: with me, I didn't get it. And then he called

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Speaker 1: me and was like, Bro, nobody in my team said anything.

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Speaker 1: You're the first one to tell me man, like I

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Speaker 1: can't believe you called me after an audition. I was like, bro,

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Speaker 1: I'm happy to see one of us when we had

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Speaker 1: good vibes. Needless to say, me and Chase have been

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Speaker 1: friends ever since. Like this that was six years ago.

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Speaker 1: Chase comes to the kids basketball games. We talk a

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Speaker 1: lot about business and stuff. But two weeks after not

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Speaker 1: getting Bigger, I was cast as Zack insistence which I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't have been able to take if I was already

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Speaker 1: been a series regular on Bigger. And here's the kicker.

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Speaker 1: After I get cast as Zack. A week later, you

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Speaker 1: and I were in ahead at Nanny and Pama John's

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Speaker 1: house and I get a phone call. Ye, it's from

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Speaker 1: Robbie Reid. She goes, hey, we have another role on Bigger.

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Speaker 1: It's only in two episodes. The guy's name is Ken.

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Speaker 1: We want you to come in and play the role

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Speaker 1: of Ken. So not only did I end up getting

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Speaker 1: that role, I end up getting both roles. And then

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Speaker 1: Bigger called me back the year prior to recur Ken

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Speaker 1: for six episodes. And then Bigger called you back for

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Speaker 1: two episodes, which for me was like the biggest, the

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Speaker 1: biggest sign from God that you should always be gracious

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Speaker 1: even when you think you're not getting something that's for you,

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Speaker 1: Because not only did we both have to deal with

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Speaker 1: the loss, right, but we also both were able to

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Speaker 1: gain something after that because me working for TPS at

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Speaker 1: TPS and you also working at Bigger and them seeing

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Speaker 1: you led to you getting another role at TPS and

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Speaker 1: now having your own show on B Plus and divorced sisters,

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Speaker 1: which to me, none of that would have happened if

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Speaker 1: we had been so upset even from the idea of us.

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Speaker 2: Not going to Africa, right, You know what I'm saying

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Speaker 2: exactly because at the time I was like, you know what,

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Speaker 2: I can't even get a chance to celebrate the vow

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Speaker 2: because something is always popping up. But then I was like,

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Speaker 2: how can I be upset about a work opportunity that

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Speaker 2: we've been working so hard for? And the overarching thing

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Speaker 2: for me in that lesson, in that moment was the

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Speaker 2: show called Bigger and God had bigger for us? All right,

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Speaker 2: karaoke time.

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Speaker 1: Let's go. You've been to karaoke, queen? I got to listen.

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Speaker 1: We had a whole argument about this. Thinker was last

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Speaker 1: season who brings the most karaoke vibes and this season,

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. I think bringing the vibes out

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Speaker 1: of the fifteen, I think you've done it. I've done

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Speaker 1: done nine at least, right because you've done, You've done

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Speaker 1: the last four that we've done. You've had it. So

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Speaker 1: I will give you your props.

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Speaker 2: Well, this was talking about gratitude. We're talking about being

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Speaker 2: grateful toast came to mind Gamball in a life man.

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Speaker 1: The person in the moment that are you kidding me?

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Speaker 2: So we are coming with the more its blessed them

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Speaker 2: and with that anfold when our eyes and boys we

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Speaker 2: give times because we need any more that we give

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Speaker 2: times we.

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Speaker 3: Need, Thank God, he Trouble, you come on, Trible, You're

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Speaker 3: like this close to being a Citizenlos.

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Speaker 1: You're so close?

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Speaker 2: How what what are the other boxes that Trouble has

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Speaker 2: to check in order to get her be.

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Speaker 1: Checking box finished? Jamaica, You've been making it too easy.

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Speaker 2: The next thing you have to do is touch Soilja.

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Speaker 4: I've been to Yea twice.

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Speaker 1: Okay, have you been outside of my.

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Speaker 4: Ba on the grill? Yeah? I mean okay.

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Speaker 5: When I went to the grill, I met somebody who

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Speaker 5: worked on the beach and I went to like a

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Speaker 5: Jamaican party that was like not at a resort or anything.

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Speaker 1: Okay, okay.

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Speaker 6: Alone because how far it is to get there.

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Speaker 1: No, Bro, I know it's very but you got to

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Speaker 1: it's journey to get over.

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Speaker 4: I definitely have some jerk chicken on the side of

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Speaker 4: the road.

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Speaker 2: Okay, that's pretty.

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Speaker 1: You got to go to Elsha, you go to el Yeah, okay, fresh.

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Speaker 7: Fish your wheels today, nephew, that's easy, right there, shout right?

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Speaker 2: You will do it? Yeah? Absolutely?

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Speaker 6: Will you want to take a st Catherine?

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Speaker 8: No, she needs to be in a bush, bro, tell

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Speaker 8: me shot wait wait wait wait wait wait you.

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Speaker 1: Said a shot of rain. Are you trying to kill Triple?

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Speaker 1: If Triple took a shot of rare, nephew, her hair

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Speaker 1: would braid itself.

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Speaker 2: That hair would grow back instantly, Yes.

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Speaker 1: Rand nephew. Yes, that's why I ask.

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Speaker 2: You with YouTube. Don't do that, Triple, don't.

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Speaker 4: I don't even know what.

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Speaker 1: Shot me and well for her, she doesn't drink like

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Speaker 1: me and me and Tristan and my brother.

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Speaker 2: I think I did have like a from coke after that,

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Speaker 2: and then yeah.

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Speaker 1: But a shot of ran nephew, Bro, we did that.

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Speaker 1: I was twenty five. I would never that was my

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Speaker 1: twenty fifth birthday. Remember we're taking all them shots. The

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Speaker 1: week we drank five bottles of rand Nephew in a week,

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Speaker 1: Tristan my brother, I believe it.

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Speaker 2: Who ever drinking we were just never again, bro, never again.

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Speaker 2: My last sunset Vincy rum terrible.

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Speaker 6: My last wedding in Jamaica. I vividly remember going to

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Speaker 6: the bar and it was four shells. Each of the

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Speaker 6: shells had a bottle of the bottles going across. Can

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Speaker 6: I get a bottle of water? But not that you

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Speaker 6: that's funny. Let me get a bottle of water. We

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Speaker 6: don't have water, bro, this is all I here to.

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Speaker 2: That's crazy. That's that right. We got to get out

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Speaker 2: of the group chat and finally get Triple to Jamaica with.

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Speaker 1: Us to really experienced.

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Speaker 2: Really, we will take her to the country. Yeah, that's

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Speaker 2: the really, that's the real yard experience.

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Speaker 5: Exact, because I want to make it. I'm in Jamaica.

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Speaker 5: Where you are you Kentucky?

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Speaker 2: A F C, B and B. All right, Manalds, all right, y'all,

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Speaker 2: we're gonna take a quick breaker and get back into

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Speaker 2: the episode. Today we're talking gratitude y'all be right back.

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Speaker 6: Hey, what's going on?

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Speaker 1: Man? What's up?

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Speaker 4: What's up?

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Speaker 6: My nigga? Welcome back podcasting with my brothers.

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Speaker 2: Need to be thankful man, you know what I'll be

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Speaker 2: grateful for. I would be grateful for a podcast in Jamaica.

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Speaker 2: Can imagine after Poda Ja, I have a couple of

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Speaker 2: people to talk about.

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Speaker 1: It would be ra Jamaica.

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Speaker 2: Big up yourself, Pick up yourself.

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Speaker 1: It would be ram if we did that, Bro, bigger

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Speaker 1: Jamaica and listen after the podcast, you want to do

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Speaker 1: that in my post career.

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Speaker 8: Josh brought us here, man, joy to be your four hours.

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Speaker 2: We can go visit John just land. Was it you

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Speaker 2: that took a picture of your land? You were like,

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Speaker 2: this is this is the land that people fight over

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Speaker 2: in Jamaica.

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Speaker 1: I got land. Jamaica is terrible.

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Speaker 2: It's terrible, but that's the point. That's the point. I

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Speaker 2: think it was a meme. And then it took a

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Speaker 2: picture of like the land and it's like this is

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Speaker 2: what the family has been fighting over, and it's just.

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Speaker 8: Like, literally, now we ain't fight over I was willing

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Speaker 8: he bought that piece of lands.

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Speaker 1: It is tragedy. What you gonna do with it. I

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Speaker 1: got a bill setting on it. Man, it's just sitting there.

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Speaker 2: You gotta do something, You gotta do something, thankful, I

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Speaker 2: got it. Absolutely. You have a piece of the pie,

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Speaker 2: A piece of rock. All right, y'all, opera time. What

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Speaker 2: we got today? Trips?

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Speaker 4: All right?

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Speaker 5: Well, I know Matt loves baseball, so I thought you

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Speaker 5: would be interested to know that there's a women's professional

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Speaker 5: baseball league starting in twenty twenty six. They're starting with

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Speaker 5: four teams, four teams Boston, New York, LA, and San Francisco.

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Speaker 5: And the first season is going to be at a

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Speaker 5: neutral site. There's no like uh stadiums or anything yet.

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Speaker 5: So I want to know op.

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Speaker 2: Or no op.

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Speaker 4: With all the success of at WNBA, this could be

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Speaker 4: a good thing.

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Speaker 6: Before you said WNBA, and be honest, but I don't

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Speaker 6: like softball in general, male or female. So a women's

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Speaker 6: baseball leag wouldn't drink me like.

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Speaker 1: That softball at all.

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Speaker 6: It's just understand women right now don't play baseball.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, play softball.

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Speaker 8: So I'm saying that's why in my mind I automatically

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Speaker 8: thought it was going to be a softball league.

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Speaker 1: So is it baseball? I got an app This is

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Speaker 1: my opp Professional leagues often go through developmental phases first, Right,

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Speaker 1: what Matt just said makes sense. If there's no women's

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Speaker 1: baseball at the collegiate level where they're developing throwing overhand,

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Speaker 1: how are we going to go watch them do something

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Speaker 1: that they haven't been developed to do at the level.

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Speaker 1: You know, when you go to watch somebody and you

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Speaker 1: pay to watch somebody do something, you want to watch

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Speaker 1: them do it at an elite level. Correct, So if

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Speaker 1: they haven't been doing it now, if it was women's

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Speaker 1: softball perferestional league, yeah, that's the difference. I watched that

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Speaker 1: because I watched women's Uh. I watched Hofstra softball team,

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Speaker 1: and it was nice for college In college and college

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Speaker 1: teams be highlights. I only see highlights. But whatever I

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Speaker 1: see it be popping.

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Speaker 6: I don't watch that good. I'm not discrediting that. I'm

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Speaker 6: saying I don't be interested long term to watch the game.

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Speaker 1: I agree, because I don't watch baseball. So, but I

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Speaker 1: watched them softball.

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Speaker 2: I don't watching a baseball to be invested.

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Speaker 1: Ye, I don't want my app. I really don't got

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Speaker 1: an app. I don't watch it either, so but I

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Speaker 1: am like interested though, like why would they go to

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Speaker 1: women's baseball and not do a women's professionally because the

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Speaker 1: professional volleyballs team here in Atlanta's doing well, right, you

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Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. But that also comes from you

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Speaker 1: get the elites college volleyball players to come play professional

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Speaker 1: volleyball people watching it. It's like a pipeline. So there's

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Speaker 1: no pipeline for professional baseball for women. So that's the

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Speaker 1: only thing. I'll be kind of like, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: that's my thing.

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Speaker 6: I actually there's a copyat today. If they're doing something

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Speaker 6: similar to what the Savannah Bananas are doing where they're

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Speaker 6: reinventing the game, I'm.

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Speaker 5: Like, some of the players came from the Savannah Banas,

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Speaker 5: and you might.

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Speaker 6: I'll tune in see what it is and judge from

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Speaker 6: because I don't know. So Savannah b Mananas is like

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Speaker 6: a new twist on baseball. Like one example is male Yeah,

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Speaker 6: male baseball, So it's a semi pro. They'll go into

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Speaker 6: all the regular full MB stadiums and play there. They

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Speaker 6: have a lot of people come into their games right now.

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Speaker 6: Started in Savannah, Judgia, so now they've expanded all across

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Speaker 6: the US. So they do a modern twist on the

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Speaker 6: old baseball game that we love. So one small example

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Speaker 6: would be if there's a foul ball and if it

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Speaker 6: goes into the stands, if somebody in the stands catches

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Speaker 6: the ball, that person's out versus it's like one baseball yell.

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Speaker 1: Also be dancing on.

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Speaker 8: The dancing is more entertaining the actual So for a

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Speaker 8: fan experience, I know that it's live, but I didn't

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Speaker 8: know about that.

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Speaker 6: There's a time limited on the game. It's it's two

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Speaker 6: hours max. Anything that happened is two hours. Yeah, runner on.

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Speaker 1: They be doing flips and all that, So I would

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Speaker 1: I would do that if that if it was a

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Speaker 1: women's league like that, because they're entertaining, like like the

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Speaker 1: I watched the Savannah Bananas more than I watched MLB,

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Speaker 1: I believe, because a lot of entertaining and it's fun,

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Like, I would watch.

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Speaker 6: That style points for if they make a player like

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Speaker 6: the backflips and stuff. You throw the ball, but you

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Speaker 6: do like that's what got me to get an extra point.

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Speaker 1: You saw the outfielder ball coming, he caught it and

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Speaker 1: did the backflip. While that to me is.

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Speaker 2: Entertaining solid Cairo would do.

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Speaker 1: Yes, Yes, It's like it's like on women's flag football.

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Speaker 1: It's growing like crazy. If you watch them, they're taking

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Speaker 1: the volleyball players to track athletes and basketball players and

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Speaker 1: they're playing flag football. It's while entertaining because they're athletic,

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Speaker 1: but also in college every day they was working on

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Speaker 1: their craft to be savage athletes. So I would watch that.

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Speaker 2: A little bit of showmanship too, Yeah, yeah, okay would

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Speaker 2: be a thing.

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Speaker 5: All right, Well, you guys are a bunch of sexist pigs.

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Speaker 5: So we're talking about gratitude today, which I'm very excited

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Speaker 5: to talk about. But something I learned recently is that

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Speaker 5: positive affirmations, if you repeat positive affirmations to yourself, they

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Speaker 5: can create new neural pathways in your brain. It actually

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Speaker 5: changes the makeup of your brain and it allows the

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Speaker 5: neural connectivity between positive thoughts.

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Speaker 4: To become stronger.

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Speaker 5: So they actually then like physically in your brain outweigh

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Speaker 5: your negative thoughts.

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Speaker 1: How do you feel about it?

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Speaker 2: There's a science behind it. There is a sciential science

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Speaker 2: behind it.

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Speaker 1: I do got to ask a question, why would we sexist?

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Speaker 6: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I just want to know. I do kind of want

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Speaker 1: to hear that, because I really did.

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Speaker 5: I want to know, simply because Matt said, I don't

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Speaker 5: I don't like softball.

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Speaker 2: Nothing deep there, Wow.

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Speaker 1: Female the man plays off ball all the time.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, he said he doesn't like male So there was

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Speaker 4: no reason.

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Speaker 1: Okay she was no, But I really trying to be

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Speaker 1: open to the fact that you know, you may say

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Speaker 1: something and not realize that it comes across that way.

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Speaker 1: And me and Tripple talk about that all the time.

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Speaker 1: So if she's saying, I really want to.

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Speaker 6: Know, because did I say something that was like that?

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Speaker 1: No, that's why. No, she says, you troll them, But

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Speaker 1: that's why I know we did it.

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Speaker 8: Sorry, I know I got to I got to meet

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Speaker 8: her on my phone.

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Speaker 1: Did we say anything text and Sory? No, we did.

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Speaker 1: How he going to do the whole sound My bad,

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Speaker 1: but my bad. But Triple is right too though.

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Speaker 2: That's what they spoken about. That or just the power

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Speaker 2: of like manifestation to write, so trying to become what

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Speaker 2: you say In.

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Speaker 1: Hafstra no forget Howstra New York Elite seventeen years old.

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Speaker 1: They had a speaker come talk to our seven on

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Speaker 1: seventeen and the first thing he said was I need

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Speaker 1: everybody in his room to stop saying negative things about themselves.

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Speaker 1: That's the first thing he said. And then we were

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Speaker 1: just like okay. He's like, no, seriously, It's like negative

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Speaker 1: thoughts become negative actions. Negative negative thoughts become negative actions,

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Speaker 1: negative actions become negative habits, and negative habits become your lifestyle.

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Speaker 2: Oh wow.

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Speaker 1: And he was like, when you speak things that you

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Speaker 1: think negatively about yourself, I'll never do this. I can't

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Speaker 1: do this. It's hard for me. That actually becomes your reality.

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Speaker 2: That is true. Yeah, your lives right, you know where.

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Speaker 2: That happens to me a lot when I'm in the gym,

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Speaker 2: especially on an upper body day, because my upper body

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Speaker 2: is my legs are stronger, right, so I'm always like, damn,

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Speaker 2: my upper body is so weak. Damn, I'm never gonna

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Speaker 2: be able to do a pull up. And I started saying,

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Speaker 2: I'm working to be stronger. I'm gonna be stronger. My

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Speaker 2: upperris going to be stronger. And it actually feel like

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Speaker 2: it forces me to kind of get my mind frame

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Speaker 2: to change more.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you said that, because it works.

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Speaker 2: It works.

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Speaker 1: What do I saying the gym all the time?

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Speaker 2: The boys say it too. Yes, you heard the boys.

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Speaker 1: Hear me in there. If Jackson be like I can't,

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Speaker 1: I almost be ready to break him in half. Do

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Speaker 1: not say you can't. You just keep trying until you can. Yeah, okay,

436
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:19,280
Speaker 1: you can't lift it right now that I can't, Yes

437
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:22,040
Speaker 1: you can. Then you go to lift it. I told

438
00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:23,760
Speaker 1: you I can't. I didn't say you had to do

439
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,720
Speaker 1: it right now. But don't say that you can't. Fast

440
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:30,120
Speaker 1: forward two weeks the same way, the same exact deadlift.

441
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:33,200
Speaker 1: Oh oh, I got it. That's why you never say

442
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:38,320
Speaker 1: you can't. You just keep working until you can do it. Yeah,

443
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:40,240
Speaker 1: that yet means a lot.

444
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 4: It does mean a lot.

445
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:44,119
Speaker 2: That's dope. So how do you guys practice gratitude?

446
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:46,679
Speaker 4: I have a new way. I brought it with me.

447
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:48,560
Speaker 2: Actually, let me say, is it something?

448
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:49,680
Speaker 4: Yeah?

449
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:55,960
Speaker 5: Back in therapy, my therapist recommended this gratitude journal. It's

450
00:22:56,000 --> 00:23:00,919
Speaker 5: called No Worries, a guided journal to help you calm anxiety, relief, stress,

451
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:04,600
Speaker 5: and practice positive thinking each day. And there's a bunch

452
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:10,679
Speaker 5: of there's a bunch of like prompts inside different types

453
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:15,080
Speaker 5: of things you could do self care startup ideas. You

454
00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:17,800
Speaker 5: can write down things you enjoy, but you also write

455
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:21,480
Speaker 5: down like trigger sources. So for me, I struggle with anxiety,

456
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:26,240
Speaker 5: so I'll write down like things that may trigger my anxiety.

457
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:29,840
Speaker 5: So it gives you prompts like people, places, things, situations,

458
00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:35,000
Speaker 5: emotional states and other things. So it's it's not just

459
00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:38,119
Speaker 5: I used to have just the gratitude journal and it

460
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:40,240
Speaker 5: just says what I'm thankful for. You write one page

461
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:42,800
Speaker 5: every day, which is also super helpful, but this one

462
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:45,000
Speaker 5: gives you, like more prompts, and it's more geared toward

463
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:49,120
Speaker 5: just anxiety and creating more positive thinking.

464
00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:51,600
Speaker 2: Shout out to you to getting back in therapy and

465
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:52,400
Speaker 2: working on yourself.

466
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:54,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, shout out to my therapist.

467
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:55,160
Speaker 1: Man, she's great.

468
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:56,960
Speaker 2: That's awesome. You missed a little bit of the after

469
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,679
Speaker 2: show we did at the end of our episode with

470
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:02,160
Speaker 2: that the stroke, But Trible was talking about just working

471
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:04,719
Speaker 2: on herself so that way she can attract the kind

472
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:07,520
Speaker 2: of person that she she wants. So that's good, yo.

473
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:11,320
Speaker 5: I'm proud of you, Trouble, Yes, she is.

474
00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:14,280
Speaker 1: I'm proud of you. What else are you gonna be?

475
00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 1: In fact, Trile Trible ain't gonna nowhere else. She made

476
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:20,000
Speaker 1: it very clear, you don't like white people, you don't

477
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:24,960
Speaker 1: like men. Right now, but I am proud of you

478
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 1: because you've been talking over the last five years about

479
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:31,640
Speaker 1: some struggles you had, and most people continuously talk about

480
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,720
Speaker 1: their struggles, but they never try to go work on it,

481
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:36,439
Speaker 1: and you really like taking the time to be like

482
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:38,600
Speaker 1: not because I remember that part about the after show.

483
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:40,560
Speaker 1: I was like, are you looking for something serious? And

484
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:42,840
Speaker 1: you said, nah, there's certain things about myself I still

485
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:45,480
Speaker 1: need to work on. Like I think that's also part

486
00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 1: of gratitude that people don't realize. Right you wake up

487
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:51,240
Speaker 1: in the morning and you don't feel good about something,

488
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:52,920
Speaker 1: the first thing you should do is just thank God

489
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:55,560
Speaker 1: that you have the ability and the faculties to recognize

490
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,280
Speaker 1: that them something doesn't feel right about you. So maybe

491
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:01,320
Speaker 1: your life isn't exactly where you expect to be. Okay,

492
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:04,160
Speaker 1: you know what I got, I got time to fix

493
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:04,720
Speaker 1: and change it.

494
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:06,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's right. You know that's right.

495
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,400
Speaker 5: And it does really start there because it's so easy

496
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:11,720
Speaker 5: when you're not feeling well, where you're feeling down on

497
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,119
Speaker 5: yourself and you have low self esteem, it's so easy

498
00:25:14,119 --> 00:25:16,880
Speaker 5: to just talk to yourself negatively and just to believe

499
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:20,040
Speaker 5: the negative things about yourself. But there are small things

500
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:23,000
Speaker 5: that you can be grateful for. There's small things that

501
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:25,119
Speaker 5: you could practice gratitude about, like you said, like the

502
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:27,720
Speaker 5: faculty to be able to recognize these things about myself,

503
00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:30,840
Speaker 5: the resources to be able to help you know, grow

504
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:31,600
Speaker 5: and change.

505
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:32,840
Speaker 4: I still have.

506
00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:35,800
Speaker 5: Family, Like even though I'm not, you know, in a relationship,

507
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:40,879
Speaker 5: I often regularly think thank God for the love that

508
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:42,520
Speaker 5: I do have in my life. I have a tremendous

509
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:45,040
Speaker 5: amount of love in my life, and that's super helpful

510
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:47,800
Speaker 5: because it brings more, you know, to me, and I

511
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:58,840
Speaker 5: never feel a lack because of that.

512
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:01,960
Speaker 2: We keep you around, but I know. I think it's

513
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:05,800
Speaker 2: a great point that you made finding pockets of gratitude

514
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:07,920
Speaker 2: and moments of joy because think about it, like, look

515
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:10,479
Speaker 2: at the world around us. There's so many people who

516
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:14,320
Speaker 2: are struggling, so many reasons to feel like you have

517
00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:18,240
Speaker 2: all the odds stacked against you. But practicing little moments

518
00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:21,400
Speaker 2: of just the things that are highlights of your day

519
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:24,080
Speaker 2: or your life, or things that you are super thankful for.

520
00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:26,639
Speaker 2: I think it's a way to shift the mindset to

521
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:29,600
Speaker 2: positivity versus harping on the negative.

522
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:31,240
Speaker 1: You just said something I think is the point you

523
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:34,880
Speaker 1: talked about shifting mindset the shift in mindset can change

524
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:38,199
Speaker 1: your whole life, right, Like, remember when we used to

525
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:40,399
Speaker 1: do this at the end of the podcast tour, we

526
00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:43,960
Speaker 1: would tell everybody to close their eyes and envision all

527
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:46,200
Speaker 1: of the things that they wanted. You know how many

528
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:49,159
Speaker 1: people after that like hit me up and was just like,

529
00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:51,959
Speaker 1: I've never done that in my life, sat down and

530
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:54,960
Speaker 1: just envisioned the things that I wanted, and then was

531
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:57,840
Speaker 1: being able to be thankful for the fact that there

532
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:00,600
Speaker 1: is a vision there and I have time to chase it.

533
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:04,439
Speaker 1: Most people spend so much time self loathing and pointing

534
00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:06,840
Speaker 1: out all the things that may be wrong, that you're

535
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:10,480
Speaker 1: missing all of these blessings, like even us, for example,

536
00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:13,320
Speaker 1: if we all just say, you know what, what do

537
00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:15,800
Speaker 1: I have in this moment that I could be thankful for?

538
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,320
Speaker 1: The first thing you can say is my health. I'm healthy.

539
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:20,879
Speaker 1: Your stomach don't hurt, your head, don't hurt you know

540
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:23,040
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. You have both of your feet, your limbs,

541
00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:25,680
Speaker 1: you can see. It's like, these are things you should

542
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:27,679
Speaker 1: be thankful for because the fact that you just have

543
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 1: those simple things means your life can start from this

544
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:31,600
Speaker 1: moment to be better.

545
00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:33,639
Speaker 2: That's true. I start the day the first thing I

546
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:36,640
Speaker 2: do is thank the Lord for another day, hmm, for

547
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:39,639
Speaker 2: opening my eyes of sound mind. I remember when my

548
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:42,399
Speaker 2: grandmother used to say thank you God from my right mind,

549
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:45,640
Speaker 2: and I never really understood what that meant. But it's

550
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:47,439
Speaker 2: so easy to wake up and not be in that

551
00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:49,720
Speaker 2: right mind, or to just not wake up at all. Right.

552
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:53,240
Speaker 2: So for me, gratitude and God literally go hand in hand.

553
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:54,960
Speaker 2: And I've spoken on a I think it was the

554
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,439
Speaker 2: Purpose episode where I felt like God was really like

555
00:27:57,520 --> 00:27:59,840
Speaker 2: working within me and like shifting me in my mindset,

556
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 2: and my relationship with God is getting closer and that

557
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:05,520
Speaker 2: much deeper. And I think it's also by way of

558
00:28:06,119 --> 00:28:08,800
Speaker 2: the messages and the signs that have been sent my

559
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:12,280
Speaker 2: way through for example, our kids, you know, and them

560
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:15,119
Speaker 2: speaking more about God and about their relationship with Jesus,

561
00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:17,880
Speaker 2: and people who have randomly come to me and didn't

562
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,560
Speaker 2: even know what they were speaking into me with things

563
00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:24,440
Speaker 2: that I've been dealing with internally. So I've been completely

564
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:26,639
Speaker 2: shifting my mindset where I felt like, if God is

565
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:31,000
Speaker 2: giving me all of these tools to live my life

566
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:33,479
Speaker 2: in a way that I can be of help to others,

567
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:36,240
Speaker 2: That's how I practice gratitude as being of help to

568
00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:39,720
Speaker 2: others when I can. It's imparting maybe knowledge that I

569
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:41,640
Speaker 2: know or things that have happened to me, where I

570
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:43,960
Speaker 2: can say, hey, this is what happened to me, this

571
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:46,640
Speaker 2: was my experience, trying to help someone to prevent them

572
00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:49,200
Speaker 2: from making the same mistake, or just saying I'm living

573
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:51,280
Speaker 2: in a space of gratitude right now in abundance, so

574
00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:54,360
Speaker 2: I can help someone do this financially. You know, That's

575
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 2: where I practice my gratitude now, I think because it's

576
00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:02,080
Speaker 2: it's been a duty, is something God placed on my heart.

577
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:08,560
Speaker 1: Have y'all experienced any changes in the trajectory of your mindset?

578
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:11,760
Speaker 1: Because I know I experienced a change this year at

579
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:14,200
Speaker 1: the top of the year. Have y'all experienced any changes?

580
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:17,240
Speaker 6: Yeah? For sure, Even going back to what how, just

581
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:22,560
Speaker 6: the question was, how do you practice gratitude? Yeah? My

582
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:24,840
Speaker 6: biggest way, I'll go outside, take a walk, take a

583
00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:26,680
Speaker 6: picture of a plant, take a picture of a rock.

584
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:29,840
Speaker 6: Means nothing to anybody, mean nothing to me in the moment,

585
00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:32,720
Speaker 6: But it's all an approach of I'm grateful to be

586
00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 6: in this moment, grateful to see this, be able to

587
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:37,840
Speaker 6: see the light that I'm seeing. Whatever I'm seeing just

588
00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:39,680
Speaker 6: taking it in the moment right and being grateful for

589
00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:42,959
Speaker 6: what it is. It may I may see the purpose

590
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,000
Speaker 6: of it and a project down the line, but it's

591
00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:46,000
Speaker 6: not for that in the moment.

592
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:49,240
Speaker 2: I can speak to your photography, Matt, like I talked

593
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:51,480
Speaker 2: about the candid moments that you capture, and I just

594
00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:53,440
Speaker 2: said to the val, I said, I can't wait for

595
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 2: you to become a dad because I know that when

596
00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:58,320
Speaker 2: you do, you're probably going to be capturing so many

597
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:04,040
Speaker 2: like candid BTS moment of like your family exactly, because

598
00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:05,640
Speaker 2: I see the way you even do it here and

599
00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:07,360
Speaker 2: I don't know if I've actually thanked you for that,

600
00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:10,520
Speaker 2: but looking at the photos that you take just being

601
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:12,960
Speaker 2: in the house, I don't even know you're capturing these moments,

602
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:16,080
Speaker 2: and they have been so impactful when I look back

603
00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:18,840
Speaker 2: on them. There's moments with Coda and my grandmother, for example,

604
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:21,320
Speaker 2: where I look back and I'm like, when was Matt

605
00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:25,560
Speaker 2: even there to capture that. Jackson's games, the boys games,

606
00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:28,400
Speaker 2: just intimate moments in the house that we sometimes we

607
00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:29,800
Speaker 2: share them, but sometimes we're like, you know what, we

608
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:32,480
Speaker 2: just want to have them for us, because not everything

609
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:34,600
Speaker 2: has to be a postable moment, but it's just core

610
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:37,440
Speaker 2: memories that we have of the boys. So I appreciate

611
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:39,200
Speaker 2: you for that. And there's so much value in the

612
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:40,760
Speaker 2: work that you do and the talent and the eye

613
00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:43,040
Speaker 2: that you have. So I'm giving you your flowers here

614
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:44,840
Speaker 2: and gratitude for that.

615
00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:47,080
Speaker 6: So it was good to see y'all appreciate that because

616
00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:49,200
Speaker 6: I never took it with any intentions of, oh, this

617
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:52,200
Speaker 6: another piece of material I could put out. This is

618
00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:54,600
Speaker 6: literally a project for y'all to have. For y'all, No,

619
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:57,440
Speaker 6: I love a lot to show the world. You need

620
00:30:57,480 --> 00:30:58,360
Speaker 6: to have moments for yourself.

621
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:03,440
Speaker 1: I appreciate that I got hundreds of photos that I

622
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:06,960
Speaker 1: felt was postable because I know they would get likes,

623
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:11,480
Speaker 1: but I just you know what I'm saying, It just

624
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:15,280
Speaker 1: meant so much more Like the kids with their grandparents.

625
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:21,160
Speaker 1: There's a photo of Cairo, I think Ki or the

626
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:24,600
Speaker 1: Coda in there, and you're out here, but it's like

627
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:27,200
Speaker 1: the fact that they don't even know that you're taking

628
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:28,920
Speaker 1: a photo and you can see the joy he's about

629
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:31,600
Speaker 1: to like jump off of the chair. That to me

630
00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:34,360
Speaker 1: of the moments that's like that's a child's innocence. That's

631
00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:37,280
Speaker 1: like he's just enjoying his space free. It's like, dang,

632
00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:39,400
Speaker 1: these are moments that I'm like, I'm glad that.

633
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:43,240
Speaker 6: Those two are moments of gratitude for me because I

634
00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:45,760
Speaker 6: remember when I was a kid just freeing. I didn't

635
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:47,840
Speaker 6: do a backflip or something like that. When I take

636
00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:50,360
Speaker 6: pictures of kas on the back flip or Cairo standing

637
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:52,320
Speaker 6: on top of the waterfall, that's one of my favorite

638
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:55,920
Speaker 6: pictures because it's shown you of a courageous kid. Yeah,

639
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 6: and Kyro's courageousness rubs off on everybody. Yes, that's the fact,

640
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:02,280
Speaker 6: so that I feel like that picture is just a

641
00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:03,160
Speaker 6: capture of that.

642
00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have a great picture of Dad and Dakota

643
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:07,920
Speaker 2: as well. I think it was after he had the

644
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:10,960
Speaker 2: stroke and Coda was sitting with him on the couch. Yeah, yeah,

645
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:13,200
Speaker 2: and it was just the smile that they both were sharing.

646
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:14,720
Speaker 2: I think Dad was looking at Coda and he was

647
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:16,800
Speaker 2: just smiling, and I was just like, man like, I

648
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:19,040
Speaker 2: think that brought me to tears after Dad's stroke because

649
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:21,560
Speaker 2: I'm like, thank God that we have this moment again.

650
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:25,800
Speaker 1: You know, your dad experiences a lot more gratitude now.

651
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:30,600
Speaker 1: I realized my dad too. My dad came here three

652
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:33,160
Speaker 1: months ago. I told you my whole life, my father

653
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:36,440
Speaker 1: never cried in front of me ever. So now he

654
00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:38,960
Speaker 1: comes down here. You know, he's just sitting here watching

655
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:41,040
Speaker 1: the podcast stuff and I'm getting ready to go upstairs,

656
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:42,760
Speaker 1: and he just hugged me, and I'm like, what was

657
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:45,280
Speaker 1: wrong with you? Like, like, I'm not used to that.

658
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:46,840
Speaker 1: I'm not being out like my father.

659
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:47,960
Speaker 6: That would be me.

660
00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:50,160
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, how many times your father

661
00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:51,720
Speaker 1: just grabbed you and hug you middle of to day

662
00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:56,040
Speaker 1: When I'm saying so and it's not just boys, how

663
00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:58,760
Speaker 1: how often your father grabbed you a hugging? Your father, no,

664
00:32:59,200 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 1: just grab your hugging.

665
00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:03,160
Speaker 5: He gives me like an awkward hug, and he'll slap

666
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:04,000
Speaker 5: me real hard.

667
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:13,200
Speaker 2: I know you don't want this hug, just in case

668
00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:13,760
Speaker 2: you were choking.

669
00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:21,160
Speaker 1: Shea, that's why she don't like man. But all of

670
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:24,320
Speaker 1: our fathers weren't really good at being affectionate. But my

671
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:26,680
Speaker 1: dad grabbed me, hugged me, and I was like, what happened?

672
00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:28,040
Speaker 1: And then he started crying. He was like, I'm just

673
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:31,280
Speaker 1: proud of you, and I'm just like I didn't kind

674
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:33,560
Speaker 1: of know what to say. I was kind of like why, like,

675
00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:37,160
Speaker 1: you know, I'm nervous now like with me.

676
00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:39,240
Speaker 2: He didn't cry, but he did grab me in the

677
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:42,120
Speaker 2: kitchen before he left the last time and he was

678
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:43,520
Speaker 2: like and I was like, oh, you give me a

679
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:45,160
Speaker 2: big hug for it. And he was just like, just

680
00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:46,640
Speaker 2: thank you for being you. I love you.

681
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:51,400
Speaker 1: Do stuff like that before. And your father does it too.

682
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:53,920
Speaker 1: Your father said to me yesterday. He was just like,

683
00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:57,960
Speaker 1: you know, my leg's feeling better, like it's getting better,

684
00:33:58,040 --> 00:33:59,920
Speaker 1: you know. And I was just like, yeah, he's a

685
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:03,040
Speaker 1: you know, movement helps. And I was like, yo, for years,

686
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:04,960
Speaker 1: I've been telling you, Pops to move and you know,

687
00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:07,760
Speaker 1: he's just say with that. But now that you know,

688
00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:10,520
Speaker 1: it seems like his life has been saved and he

689
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:12,720
Speaker 1: has more time. He seems like he has way.

690
00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:14,360
Speaker 2: More gratitude for small things.

691
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:17,879
Speaker 1: He's excited about the occupational therapist coming that was never

692
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:21,279
Speaker 1: a thing before, like workouts. He was like, nah, but yeah,

693
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:22,200
Speaker 1: I see that in him.

694
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:23,720
Speaker 2: Absolutely. Yeah.

695
00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:27,080
Speaker 1: What about y'all too, when he changes in your trajectory

696
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:30,640
Speaker 1: of your your mindset over the past year, Because I

697
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:34,600
Speaker 1: have one for mine, I know change, I don't know.

698
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:36,360
Speaker 8: I can't say. I can't say if it's over the

699
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:44,040
Speaker 8: past year. But I think for me, there's a scriptural

700
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:48,239
Speaker 8: song that says we have new mercies every morning. But

701
00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:52,279
Speaker 8: what I what I actually love is watching sunsets, and

702
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:56,240
Speaker 8: watching sunsets actually makes me feel so thankful for everything

703
00:34:56,239 --> 00:34:59,160
Speaker 8: I have because it's like every single day I'm able

704
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:01,799
Speaker 8: to watch a sunset it and it's been it's been

705
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:05,800
Speaker 8: sort of like I won't say, therapeutic, but also it

706
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:10,320
Speaker 8: can make me really reflective on everything that I've done,

707
00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:13,480
Speaker 8: everything I have, everything that I want to be. So

708
00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:18,640
Speaker 8: I think, even thinking about like my family and my wife,

709
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 8: I think Anika is the one who has sort of

710
00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:24,799
Speaker 8: instilled in me the need to be thankful for the

711
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:27,600
Speaker 8: things that I have. And she's very she's very uh

712
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:31,040
Speaker 8: he's a very like eccentric person. She's grown into this

713
00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:34,920
Speaker 8: very I got home has nothing but plants, and she

714
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:38,000
Speaker 8: talks to these plants every day, and like if you

715
00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:40,919
Speaker 8: walk past her plan and she'd be like, don't touch

716
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:45,680
Speaker 8: my plan. But when she when she when she's having

717
00:35:45,719 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 8: these interactions with these other living things in a home,

718
00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:53,799
Speaker 8: it's all about graces, like being being practicing gratitude. That's

719
00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:57,200
Speaker 8: what she always says. You gotta practice gratitude. You gotta

720
00:35:57,200 --> 00:35:59,040
Speaker 8: practice gratitude. I don't know where this comes from. I

721
00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:02,880
Speaker 8: don't know what sparked this in her, but it's something

722
00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:04,000
Speaker 8: that has.

723
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:08,120
Speaker 1: Sort of changed my worldview of.

724
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:12,759
Speaker 8: How I myself am grateful, and through that, through the

725
00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:16,840
Speaker 8: sunsets and through sort of like reflection, I've changed.

726
00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:19,839
Speaker 2: It's funny you mentioned sunset, Josh, because when I think

727
00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:23,080
Speaker 2: about trajectory, mindset shifts and all of that, I actually

728
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:25,480
Speaker 2: had a moment like that the end of last year

729
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 2: when we were in Jamaica for the New Year, and

730
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:32,120
Speaker 2: was actually it was a sunrise, but also watching the

731
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:34,480
Speaker 2: sunset off the cliff in Jamaica is equally as beautiful,

732
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:36,520
Speaker 2: but it was a sunrise moment where I couldn't sleep.

733
00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:39,920
Speaker 2: I woke up. I kind of felt, you know, unsettled,

734
00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:42,160
Speaker 2: so I said, let me get up, and I was

735
00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:45,279
Speaker 2: just in a space of meditation, in a space of gratitude.

736
00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:48,480
Speaker 2: I was having conversations with God, thanking him for all

737
00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:50,359
Speaker 2: the things he had done for the year, and kind

738
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:53,160
Speaker 2: of looking to the new year. And this was shortly

739
00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:55,879
Speaker 2: after having a conversation with our manager at the top

740
00:36:55,920 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 2: of December, a little before my birthday, and talking about

741
00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:01,479
Speaker 2: what I wanted to do for twenty twenty and really

742
00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:04,200
Speaker 2: feeling kind of stuck and unsure about what was going

743
00:37:04,239 --> 00:37:06,960
Speaker 2: to be next for me. So after having the conversation

744
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:08,360
Speaker 2: with him, I told him, I said, you know what,

745
00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:10,000
Speaker 2: I feel like, I just need to kind of be still.

746
00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:12,160
Speaker 2: Let me take the rest of the year to kind

747
00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:14,080
Speaker 2: of get my mind right and see what God is

748
00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:17,040
Speaker 2: placing all my heart to do. So after doing that,

749
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:19,920
Speaker 2: at the end of twenty twenty four, I get the

750
00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:24,080
Speaker 2: opportunity to audition for Divorces at the top of the

751
00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:27,160
Speaker 2: year and ended up getting that role. And that was

752
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:29,640
Speaker 2: after years of doing small things here and there and

753
00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:32,719
Speaker 2: getting a ton of nose right. So the change in

754
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:34,680
Speaker 2: my mindset and I spoke a little bit about this

755
00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:37,879
Speaker 2: on my podcast on our podcast with Dad's stroke, it's

756
00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:41,520
Speaker 2: not being so consumed by the know or the things

757
00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:44,640
Speaker 2: that don't work out. It's easy to get wrapped up

758
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:47,040
Speaker 2: into that negative mentality about the things that you don't

759
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:48,879
Speaker 2: have or the things that you wanted that you feel

760
00:37:48,920 --> 00:37:51,160
Speaker 2: like we're so close and they slipped through your fingers.

761
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:54,880
Speaker 2: But instead allowing God to move in your life with

762
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:57,680
Speaker 2: ultimately the plan He has for you, and being content

763
00:37:57,719 --> 00:38:00,759
Speaker 2: with that because we know that he's only going to

764
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:04,120
Speaker 2: do things for our greater goods. So I've learned that

765
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:06,759
Speaker 2: my mindset is to just go with the flow, to

766
00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:09,960
Speaker 2: keep the positive mindset, to continue to just exist in

767
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:12,720
Speaker 2: the space of gratitude for the things I have, because

768
00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:15,759
Speaker 2: I know that He's ordering my steps and what's for

769
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:18,400
Speaker 2: me will ultimately be for me, so I don't have

770
00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:19,920
Speaker 2: to worry in that sense.

771
00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:23,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, I would say the same thing is I've been

772
00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:26,040
Speaker 4: leaning on spirit a lot.

773
00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:29,800
Speaker 5: Because this shit been going downhill, you know what I'm saying,

774
00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:32,800
Speaker 5: Like everything is hard, Every life is hard as fucked

775
00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:37,880
Speaker 5: sometimes with everything going on in the world in Gaza, Sudan,

776
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:44,160
Speaker 5: the Congo and just watching that happen, watching like American

777
00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:48,919
Speaker 5: politics go insane, you know. And then in the last year,

778
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:51,640
Speaker 5: I've done things that you know, have been good, Like

779
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:54,399
Speaker 5: I started my business, I moved to Atlanta. The reason

780
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:57,080
Speaker 5: why I moved was kind of fucked up. But also

781
00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:01,160
Speaker 5: running a business is hard when you're so fucking show.

782
00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:02,760
Speaker 4: And then I live alone.

783
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:04,719
Speaker 5: I gotta make that I gotta figure out what I'm

784
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:06,480
Speaker 5: gonna eat every fucking day.

785
00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:09,799
Speaker 2: That's my most dreaded question was for dinner, I'm like,

786
00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:11,880
Speaker 2: I don't know. For eight of us, I don't.

787
00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:13,120
Speaker 4: Know, but I just.

788
00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:19,759
Speaker 5: Started to unravel, like in my mind where my anxiety

789
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:23,680
Speaker 5: comes from, like how stress lives in my body, and

790
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:26,319
Speaker 5: how it manifests in my work, in my life, and

791
00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:30,680
Speaker 5: whenever I have low moments and whenever I get down

792
00:39:30,719 --> 00:39:33,799
Speaker 5: on myself, something will happen where somebody will come and

793
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:38,759
Speaker 5: like reaffirm, you know, what I should know, or reassure

794
00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:43,760
Speaker 5: something that I should know. And it's just been beautiful.

795
00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:46,719
Speaker 5: It's been amazing. It's been holding me up. And so

796
00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:49,319
Speaker 5: my hope is in the next year it'll hold me

797
00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:53,080
Speaker 5: up enough so that I can push forward instead of

798
00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:56,719
Speaker 5: just like being in a spiral of just like hanging on.

799
00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:59,759
Speaker 1: You know, one thing I will say, stops saying hope,

800
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:04,839
Speaker 1: say it will Yeah, that's the biggest thing. Just no

801
00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:07,279
Speaker 1: more hope. I'm gonna do it because you don't know

802
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:10,160
Speaker 1: when it's gonna happen, but you know what's going to happen.

803
00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:10,680
Speaker 4: That's right.

804
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:16,640
Speaker 1: I think that's dope trouble. My biggest change has has

805
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:20,920
Speaker 1: been a fiscal change. I used to chase money a lot,

806
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:25,440
Speaker 1: like just just anything that was happening I'm gonna go

807
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:27,640
Speaker 1: do it because I know that that finance can help me,

808
00:40:27,719 --> 00:40:30,719
Speaker 1: help somebody. It can help me, you know, just get

809
00:40:30,719 --> 00:40:33,640
Speaker 1: some more liquidity in my bank account. And over the

810
00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:36,960
Speaker 1: past like two years, I've been spending less time with

811
00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:40,319
Speaker 1: my kids. As much as people see me posting I'm

812
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:42,600
Speaker 1: with my kids, there was times where I had to

813
00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:44,879
Speaker 1: miss things. And at the top of this year, when

814
00:40:44,880 --> 00:40:46,560
Speaker 1: you said you were going to be still and we

815
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:50,000
Speaker 1: ended up filming, like, well, I film two seasons back

816
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:51,799
Speaker 1: to back, then you filmed the season, then we did

817
00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:54,960
Speaker 1: the Broadway show. It was just like my focus was

818
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:59,319
Speaker 1: all on legacy building and finances and what I was

819
00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:02,400
Speaker 1: going to do for the next generation. And it was

820
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:04,439
Speaker 1: just kind of like, well, what about the generation that's

821
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:07,560
Speaker 1: here right now. And it was just like that change

822
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:10,800
Speaker 1: and focus and let me focus on the things that matter. Okay,

823
00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:12,879
Speaker 1: I'm not doing a film this summer, which I thought

824
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:15,400
Speaker 1: I was going to be able to do, But I

825
00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:19,920
Speaker 1: spent three months training and mentoring my sons. One became

826
00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:22,440
Speaker 1: an All American, one became top twenty in the country.

827
00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:24,920
Speaker 1: They both killed in football. It was like the change

828
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:27,920
Speaker 1: and the trajectory of what mattered to me helped those

829
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:30,400
Speaker 1: that were in the next generation better than what I thought,

830
00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:33,920
Speaker 1: because you know, sometimes you get blinded by your own thoughts. Yeah,

831
00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:36,600
Speaker 1: and you got to step out a little bit and recognize,

832
00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:39,640
Speaker 1: like your thoughts are really confining you.

833
00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:41,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, and there's no dollar amount on the time that

834
00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:44,040
Speaker 2: was spent, even though all this time you spent, whether

835
00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:45,520
Speaker 2: it's a short amount of time and you have to

836
00:41:45,520 --> 00:41:48,040
Speaker 2: go to work or your home, it's very intentional, so

837
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:50,000
Speaker 2: I will say that. So don't be too hard on

838
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,000
Speaker 2: yourself about the time that you did miss because you

839
00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:54,200
Speaker 2: were doing it with the intention of helping the kids

840
00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:57,239
Speaker 2: and building our family up. So we have the autonomy

841
00:41:57,239 --> 00:41:59,319
Speaker 2: to be able to be home for three months. You know,

842
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:02,319
Speaker 2: of course were here and there, but really being able

843
00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:03,240
Speaker 2: to pour into the boys.

844
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:06,800
Speaker 1: Now. I appreciate that I do, and I give myself grace,

845
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:10,360
Speaker 1: but I'm also realizing that there's so many more important

846
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:14,720
Speaker 1: things in the world than job or your bank account.

847
00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:17,680
Speaker 1: Like I really had this epiphany. I was sitting in

848
00:42:17,719 --> 00:42:20,440
Speaker 1: a car. I was coming back from ABFF and we

849
00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:22,560
Speaker 1: was in traffic, and I'm sitting in the car and

850
00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:25,880
Speaker 1: I'm like, Yo, there's a dude that's just probably working

851
00:42:25,920 --> 00:42:28,960
Speaker 1: at a bar somewhere and he's not making a lot

852
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:32,400
Speaker 1: of money, but he has enough money to pay for

853
00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:35,640
Speaker 1: his one bedroom apartment, and he can eat every day,

854
00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:38,399
Speaker 1: and he probably has something that he loves to do,

855
00:42:39,080 --> 00:42:41,600
Speaker 1: and he's not focused on how having to pay taxes

856
00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:43,720
Speaker 1: and do all this other stuff and employees and stuff,

857
00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:46,480
Speaker 1: and he's at peace. And then there's the rich guy

858
00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:48,440
Speaker 1: with all the money that has all of these stresses

859
00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:50,399
Speaker 1: that everybody's like, I bet he's living a life. Who's

860
00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:53,359
Speaker 1: probably looking at that guy saying, man, you don't know

861
00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:55,360
Speaker 1: how good you got it. It was like an epiphany

862
00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:57,560
Speaker 1: to me, and it was like, daval which one are

863
00:42:57,560 --> 00:43:00,839
Speaker 1: you gonna be? Are you gonna be the guy when

864
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:02,879
Speaker 1: you die later on? And you have all of these things,

865
00:43:02,880 --> 00:43:05,319
Speaker 1: and you've recruited all of these things, and your kids

866
00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:07,239
Speaker 1: just walking down the rooms up that because that's what

867
00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:10,439
Speaker 1: you were to them. Your wife is doing whatever she does.

868
00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:12,880
Speaker 1: Because you've been so consumed with what your legacy was

869
00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:14,920
Speaker 1: going to be that you forgot about the people around

870
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:17,279
Speaker 1: you at your funeral. If then no one shows up

871
00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:19,680
Speaker 1: at your funeral because you were so focused on business

872
00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:22,520
Speaker 1: and not focused on relationships, what is that? What kind

873
00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:25,560
Speaker 1: of life is that. And it was just like money

874
00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:29,080
Speaker 1: and occupations can't be everything, you know, there has to

875
00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:31,520
Speaker 1: be peace, there has to be relationships and friends. And

876
00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:34,319
Speaker 1: that's what I've been on all year, and I've been

877
00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:36,640
Speaker 1: feeling good about it. Like, seriously, I haven't made as

878
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:38,319
Speaker 1: much money this year as I made the last couple

879
00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:41,600
Speaker 1: of years. Here's another thing. I'm fine with that, you

880
00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:43,160
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. Like sometimes you look back and

881
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:46,640
Speaker 1: you like, am I drowning? Okay? So I'm still doing well.

882
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:49,680
Speaker 2: But we do good great planning, you know.

883
00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:51,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, great planning helped do the right things.

884
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:55,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, investing in the right things, saving absolutely,

885
00:43:55,239 --> 00:43:56,360
Speaker 2: We've always had a plan.

886
00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:59,120
Speaker 1: And that that gave me helps the latitude to be

887
00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:02,320
Speaker 1: in this spot, you know, not living in a scarcity mindset.

888
00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:05,759
Speaker 1: But this is just for people who think that that

889
00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:08,920
Speaker 1: job or that money amount is going to get you

890
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,440
Speaker 1: to that place. I can tell you I made more

891
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:13,080
Speaker 1: money than I ever thought I was going to make

892
00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:15,520
Speaker 1: in my life in these past couple of years. And

893
00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:18,040
Speaker 1: I felt lost to times and I just wanted my

894
00:44:18,080 --> 00:44:20,680
Speaker 1: friends in my family, like the things that become super

895
00:44:20,719 --> 00:44:23,640
Speaker 1: important to me, like that twelve o'clock workout, group that's

896
00:44:23,680 --> 00:44:26,960
Speaker 1: become part of my Like, that's I need that. Yeah,

897
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:29,879
Speaker 1: Like we built everything around that, the camaraderie. I need

898
00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:32,040
Speaker 1: my guys. I need to be pushed, you know. I

899
00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:33,759
Speaker 1: need to challenge myself. You know.

900
00:44:34,040 --> 00:44:36,359
Speaker 2: It's also mentally helped you as well too. Like I've

901
00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:38,799
Speaker 2: realized in you having to go and go and go

902
00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:41,359
Speaker 2: and never stop that when you had a chance to stop,

903
00:44:41,400 --> 00:44:42,920
Speaker 2: you almost didn't know how to. It's like you had

904
00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:46,560
Speaker 2: to reprogram your brain and yourself and your entire being

905
00:44:46,680 --> 00:44:49,640
Speaker 2: to just say it's okay, Devalue. You're not ripping and

906
00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:51,520
Speaker 2: running right now. You need to be okay with that.

907
00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:54,520
Speaker 2: And you need to embrace the downtime because you know,

908
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:56,960
Speaker 2: things pick up. Everything has ebbs and flows, especially in

909
00:44:56,960 --> 00:44:59,279
Speaker 2: our industry, so there may be a time when you're

910
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:01,080
Speaker 2: gone filming for a bit, but you want to be

911
00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:03,240
Speaker 2: able to know that you were able to recharge yourself

912
00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:07,320
Speaker 2: as well in the downtime. You know, Josh, how do

913
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:08,759
Speaker 2: you teach it? What did you say?

914
00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:11,320
Speaker 6: Nothing wrong with taking a deep brother, that's the fact.

915
00:45:11,480 --> 00:45:14,000
Speaker 2: Smelling the roses right, All the cliches make sense. At

916
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,080
Speaker 2: this point in I was.

917
00:45:16,040 --> 00:45:18,440
Speaker 6: Literally thinking that there's a lot of cliches and that

918
00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:21,600
Speaker 6: we hear growing up that you end up growing getting older,

919
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:25,200
Speaker 6: and it's like they were right, and power and life

920
00:45:25,239 --> 00:45:28,600
Speaker 6: and power and death and life and power, life and

921
00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:33,399
Speaker 6: life and death. Excuse me, what was the next one?

922
00:45:33,400 --> 00:45:36,759
Speaker 6: I just had in my head. I stumbled and forgot everything,

923
00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:39,799
Speaker 6: But yeah, all those cliches they end up coming back to.

924
00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:41,040
Speaker 6: It's like that was right.

925
00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:44,440
Speaker 1: No, for sure, they say wisdom only comes with time,

926
00:45:45,200 --> 00:45:47,600
Speaker 1: and it takes time for us to realize that life

927
00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:52,239
Speaker 1: is simple. We make it so complex early on, and

928
00:45:52,239 --> 00:45:54,040
Speaker 1: then now you get older and you start repeating he's

929
00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:56,560
Speaker 1: like that, my father did say that. Yeah, just like

930
00:45:56,560 --> 00:45:58,680
Speaker 1: stopping smell of roses. I've heard that my whole life,

931
00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:00,319
Speaker 1: and I'm like, nobody's gonna start. You know what money

932
00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:02,400
Speaker 1: you lose if you stop smelling roses anymore. It's like

933
00:46:02,719 --> 00:46:05,200
Speaker 1: you tell yourself all these things until you get older

934
00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:07,520
Speaker 1: and you're like, we're just smelling roses real quick.

935
00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:10,000
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I just posted a meaning that said

936
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:12,840
Speaker 2: my parents used to say, one day you'll understand and

937
00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:17,640
Speaker 2: look at me over here understanding. Oh my god, I'm

938
00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:21,200
Speaker 2: definitely in that phase of life for sure. I was

939
00:46:21,239 --> 00:46:23,359
Speaker 2: going to ask you a question, Josh, how do you

940
00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:26,840
Speaker 2: encourage your daughter, for example, to practice gratitude. Do you

941
00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:29,080
Speaker 2: have any moments with with Tori that you're like.

942
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:33,800
Speaker 8: Telling you it's her mother mother, So her mother loves

943
00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:37,800
Speaker 8: to tell her to get off her devices, that's the

944
00:46:38,040 --> 00:46:42,719
Speaker 8: one and tell Victory's the only child. So she is

945
00:46:42,880 --> 00:46:46,319
Speaker 8: like attached to us like all the time, understand, which

946
00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:49,440
Speaker 8: is something that we love, right, But Anka loves to

947
00:46:49,480 --> 00:46:52,080
Speaker 8: tell her like, yo, you need to you need to

948
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:56,080
Speaker 8: have time for yourself and you need to like also

949
00:46:57,239 --> 00:46:59,359
Speaker 8: spend time with yourself so you know who you are.

950
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:02,000
Speaker 1: Can you say that again? I think a lot more

951
00:47:02,040 --> 00:47:08,960
Speaker 1: people need to hear that. Okay, that rewinded, No, But

952
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:09,640
Speaker 1: I think the.

953
00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:13,160
Speaker 8: Some of the some of the things that my wife

954
00:47:13,200 --> 00:47:16,239
Speaker 8: has instilled in my daughter are to have time for

955
00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:19,680
Speaker 8: yourself so you know who you are. And her biggest

956
00:47:19,719 --> 00:47:22,680
Speaker 8: thing is there's some point you're not going to want

957
00:47:22,719 --> 00:47:26,160
Speaker 8: to be around us all the time, and during that time,

958
00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:28,640
Speaker 8: you need to know who you are. And I don't

959
00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:31,279
Speaker 8: even think I fully understand what she's talking about, but

960
00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:34,239
Speaker 8: she knows what My wife knows exactly what she's talking about.

961
00:47:34,239 --> 00:47:35,200
Speaker 1: I know what she's talking about.

962
00:47:35,239 --> 00:47:37,959
Speaker 8: A woman as a woman, that's me as a woman,

963
00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:41,680
Speaker 8: as a woman, and so that's some of the things

964
00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:45,120
Speaker 8: I know, Like she's she constantly talks about being grateful

965
00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:48,080
Speaker 8: for the things that we have and being grateful for

966
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:51,880
Speaker 8: the life that Victoria has herself. So you know, if

967
00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:54,360
Speaker 8: you're talking about Nikka can have a whole conversation with

968
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:57,239
Speaker 8: you on gratitude because she, I mean, she tells me

969
00:47:57,320 --> 00:48:00,320
Speaker 8: all the time how thankful she is for you know,

970
00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:02,359
Speaker 8: She's like, Josh, if you understand where I came from,

971
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:05,680
Speaker 8: you know, from like this little taln in Jamaica called Thunderland,

972
00:48:06,360 --> 00:48:09,200
Speaker 8: and we didn't have anything and when I went Yo.

973
00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:11,799
Speaker 8: We went to Jamaica this year for our wedding anniversary,

974
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:14,839
Speaker 8: and she was, I mean, we're going to Jamaica all

975
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:17,080
Speaker 8: the time, like we've been there over twenty times together,

976
00:48:17,640 --> 00:48:19,799
Speaker 8: but we just never went to where she came from.

977
00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:22,960
Speaker 8: So this time she convinces her dad to go back

978
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:24,600
Speaker 8: to the place. And let me tell you, just even

979
00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:27,520
Speaker 8: getting there, the roads are like the huge boar holes

980
00:48:27,600 --> 00:48:31,319
Speaker 8: from water settling, and it was a whole thing getting there.

981
00:48:31,360 --> 00:48:33,279
Speaker 8: But when we got there, we went to her the

982
00:48:33,360 --> 00:48:35,920
Speaker 8: house that she grew up in, and she couldn't do

983
00:48:36,160 --> 00:48:40,799
Speaker 8: nothing but cry like tears because she's just like, yo,

984
00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:43,600
Speaker 8: look where I came from to where I am now.

985
00:48:44,120 --> 00:48:46,920
Speaker 8: And granted where we are now is not where we

986
00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:53,960
Speaker 8: want to be forever, but the changing scenery, the changing opportunity,

987
00:48:54,960 --> 00:48:57,320
Speaker 8: all of those things equate to a person who is

988
00:48:57,480 --> 00:49:01,400
Speaker 8: super grateful for everything that she had. She thinks me

989
00:49:01,520 --> 00:49:03,520
Speaker 8: a lot. She's like, Josh, you don't know what you've done,

990
00:49:03,680 --> 00:49:06,200
Speaker 8: what you've done for me, And I also thank her.

991
00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:09,279
Speaker 8: She doesn't know who she turned me into, who I

992
00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:13,480
Speaker 8: was before. So I think gratefulness and and and being

993
00:49:13,560 --> 00:49:18,440
Speaker 8: thankful is something that needs to be activated by seeing,

994
00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:21,800
Speaker 8: you know, remembering where you came from, remember that you

995
00:49:21,880 --> 00:49:24,680
Speaker 8: have such a great over a period of time. But

996
00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:27,560
Speaker 8: also just even if you can't activate it in those

997
00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:30,360
Speaker 8: ways by saying it, just just look around you and

998
00:49:30,440 --> 00:49:34,000
Speaker 8: remember yesterday and not literally yesterday, but remember the past

999
00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:34,960
Speaker 8: what you had.

1000
00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:37,800
Speaker 1: So that's what I was going to say when you

1001
00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:39,320
Speaker 1: said you didn't know what she meant by getting to

1002
00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:42,440
Speaker 1: learn yourself a lot of times people don't know themselves

1003
00:49:42,440 --> 00:49:44,120
Speaker 1: because they never look back and see all the things

1004
00:49:44,120 --> 00:49:46,279
Speaker 1: they accomplished. You ever see the meme where the guy

1005
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:48,160
Speaker 1: is trying to get to the diamonds, and he's busting

1006
00:49:48,239 --> 00:49:50,759
Speaker 1: through it, and the diamonds right there. He quits and

1007
00:49:50,840 --> 00:49:52,640
Speaker 1: turned around and walks back. If he would have stopped

1008
00:49:52,640 --> 00:49:54,239
Speaker 1: a couple of times to see how far he comes,

1009
00:49:54,239 --> 00:49:56,160
Speaker 1: there's no way he would have stopped, No way he

1010
00:49:56,160 --> 00:49:57,960
Speaker 1: would have kept going. That's one of my things now.

1011
00:49:58,320 --> 00:50:03,240
Speaker 1: I'm like, like, yo, you want quit, nay.

1012
00:50:05,360 --> 00:50:08,000
Speaker 8: Whatever I'm going for, it might not be here tomorrow,

1013
00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:11,239
Speaker 8: but it's going to come eventually. I spend all this time,

1014
00:50:11,280 --> 00:50:13,960
Speaker 8: I'm not going to waste that time doing all that stuff.

1015
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:16,680
Speaker 8: I'd rather push forward to get to what I want.

1016
00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:18,759
Speaker 1: To get to. And how about this, if you really

1017
00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:22,000
Speaker 1: sit down and think about it. Everything we know about ourselves,

1018
00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:25,000
Speaker 1: we've been conditioned to think because someone else has told

1019
00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:28,360
Speaker 1: us this about us. It's only until you stop for

1020
00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:31,480
Speaker 1: a minute and get to learn yourself that you stop

1021
00:50:31,560 --> 00:50:35,080
Speaker 1: listening to all of the conditions that society is telling you.

1022
00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:37,520
Speaker 1: And that's how you can really begin to love yourself.

1023
00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:39,680
Speaker 1: Because if you just sit down, your whole life and

1024
00:50:39,719 --> 00:50:41,400
Speaker 1: it's just what my mom said, my dad said, my

1025
00:50:41,520 --> 00:50:44,399
Speaker 1: sister said, my friends say this. You don't know who

1026
00:50:44,440 --> 00:50:46,319
Speaker 1: you are because you don't you're not even letting those

1027
00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:49,800
Speaker 1: things affect you. You're not saying, well, this makes me

1028
00:50:49,920 --> 00:50:52,160
Speaker 1: feel a way, Let me do homework on how that

1029
00:50:52,280 --> 00:50:55,239
Speaker 1: makes me feel. No, it's just well, yousimilate, you assimulate,

1030
00:50:55,640 --> 00:50:59,239
Speaker 1: And people spend their whole lives chasing this idea of

1031
00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:02,680
Speaker 1: what everyone know said they should be and being unhappy

1032
00:51:02,840 --> 00:51:04,680
Speaker 1: because they haven't taken the time to see if they

1033
00:51:04,760 --> 00:51:05,480
Speaker 1: even want to be that.

1034
00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:09,239
Speaker 8: Yeah, and I think about yeah, go ahead, No, I

1035
00:51:09,320 --> 00:51:10,560
Speaker 8: was gonna say that's part of the reason why I

1036
00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:11,479
Speaker 8: don't listen to young people.

1037
00:51:12,480 --> 00:51:13,200
Speaker 1: I ain't never been.

1038
00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:17,000
Speaker 8: I think a lot of young people are that are

1039
00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:20,719
Speaker 8: educated and they know, they know, they know how to talk,

1040
00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:24,040
Speaker 8: and they have a lot of educational you know, lingo

1041
00:51:24,280 --> 00:51:25,920
Speaker 8: and no experience what it needs to be.

1042
00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:29,720
Speaker 1: But until you make a mistake, until you have fallen,

1043
00:51:30,560 --> 00:51:31,360
Speaker 1: you won't even know.

1044
00:51:31,520 --> 00:51:32,120
Speaker 4: Who you are.

1045
00:51:32,320 --> 00:51:33,680
Speaker 1: And the words yeah you're a.

1046
00:51:33,760 --> 00:51:35,520
Speaker 2: Saying necessary to hit rock button.

1047
00:51:35,600 --> 00:51:38,279
Speaker 8: Nothing you're saying is a lie. Being young, nothing you're

1048
00:51:38,280 --> 00:51:42,000
Speaker 8: saying is untrue. But those words don't have as much

1049
00:51:42,239 --> 00:51:45,799
Speaker 8: power until you have fallen, yes, I agree, or until

1050
00:51:45,840 --> 00:51:48,320
Speaker 8: you have made a mistake to even see that this

1051
00:51:48,760 --> 00:51:50,960
Speaker 8: holds truth, And then you can walk to walk and

1052
00:51:51,120 --> 00:51:52,359
Speaker 8: talk to talk at the same time.

1053
00:51:52,760 --> 00:51:54,319
Speaker 1: Until you do that, you're just talking, bro.

1054
00:51:54,680 --> 00:51:56,719
Speaker 2: That's the fact it is. Man, you can struck a

1055
00:51:56,800 --> 00:51:58,920
Speaker 2: chord with me, Josh when you talked about Anika going

1056
00:51:58,960 --> 00:52:01,200
Speaker 2: back to Jamaica, because think about when we went to

1057
00:52:01,239 --> 00:52:04,040
Speaker 2: Saint Vincent went back to Richmond Park, where my dad

1058
00:52:04,160 --> 00:52:05,560
Speaker 2: was from. And you remember you were trying to get

1059
00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:08,719
Speaker 2: a like intro or outro for the Patreon episode and

1060
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:12,200
Speaker 2: I literally could not keep it together. I was so emotional.

1061
00:52:12,320 --> 00:52:14,560
Speaker 2: I was crying so much because I thought of my

1062
00:52:14,719 --> 00:52:18,399
Speaker 2: grandmother and how far she had come, like this little

1063
00:52:18,480 --> 00:52:21,239
Speaker 2: lady No formally I can say Vincent No, couldn't read

1064
00:52:21,320 --> 00:52:23,400
Speaker 2: or write. She had her first kid at fifteen, had

1065
00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:26,120
Speaker 2: about eight kids. And I looked at my dad and

1066
00:52:26,239 --> 00:52:29,160
Speaker 2: like the road I walked, the road that he walked

1067
00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:32,080
Speaker 2: to school and to church and to where he had

1068
00:52:32,120 --> 00:52:34,680
Speaker 2: to go milk the cows before school, and I'm just like, man,

1069
00:52:34,800 --> 00:52:37,279
Speaker 2: look how far we've come. So I think in order

1070
00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:39,440
Speaker 2: to exist in a space of gratitude, you also have

1071
00:52:39,520 --> 00:52:41,680
Speaker 2: to know your history. You have to know where you

1072
00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:45,560
Speaker 2: come from. If you're in contact with and you're fortunate

1073
00:52:45,760 --> 00:52:49,440
Speaker 2: enough to have grandparents or in some cases great grandparents,

1074
00:52:49,520 --> 00:52:52,040
Speaker 2: but you can really sit and listen to their stories

1075
00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:54,600
Speaker 2: and has them impart what it was like for them,

1076
00:52:54,719 --> 00:52:57,040
Speaker 2: or impart some knowledge. You know. You may not get

1077
00:52:57,040 --> 00:53:00,960
Speaker 2: it in that moment, but eventually, with time to your point, Josh,

1078
00:53:01,080 --> 00:53:03,680
Speaker 2: all of those educational things that you hear will actually

1079
00:53:03,719 --> 00:53:06,120
Speaker 2: become life words and experiences.

1080
00:53:06,239 --> 00:53:08,719
Speaker 8: We touched on that also in the travel interview as

1081
00:53:08,760 --> 00:53:14,040
Speaker 8: well travel episode as well, how traveling can make you Yeah, thankful, gracistful.

1082
00:53:15,960 --> 00:53:16,320
Speaker 1: It was me.

1083
00:53:16,560 --> 00:53:19,440
Speaker 6: I travel by myself around the world and end up

1084
00:53:19,600 --> 00:53:23,520
Speaker 6: learning what I like, what I don't like, what people

1085
00:53:23,560 --> 00:53:26,719
Speaker 6: said about me isn't true or is true. You start

1086
00:53:26,840 --> 00:53:30,440
Speaker 6: going through those things facts, figuring it out along, figuring.

1087
00:53:30,160 --> 00:53:32,239
Speaker 1: It out you know how you know it. This is

1088
00:53:32,280 --> 00:53:35,560
Speaker 1: making me realize how dangerous social media can be for

1089
00:53:35,680 --> 00:53:39,000
Speaker 1: like young kids whose front talo lolds aren't even developed,

1090
00:53:39,239 --> 00:53:42,279
Speaker 1: and you're watching so much and you're getting over stimulated,

1091
00:53:42,600 --> 00:53:46,680
Speaker 1: and you're learning based off of other people's I can't

1092
00:53:46,719 --> 00:53:49,440
Speaker 1: even say other people's lived experience, but it's an eco

1093
00:53:49,600 --> 00:53:52,800
Speaker 1: chamber of other people's lived experience, because a lot of

1094
00:53:52,840 --> 00:53:54,920
Speaker 1: the people who are speaking and saying things aren't even

1095
00:53:54,960 --> 00:53:57,560
Speaker 1: talking about themselves. They're just talking about things that they've

1096
00:53:57,600 --> 00:54:00,000
Speaker 1: read or seen or heard, and think about how dangers

1097
00:54:00,160 --> 00:54:01,800
Speaker 1: that can be. For a young person who's trying to

1098
00:54:01,840 --> 00:54:03,840
Speaker 1: figure themselves out and they're just taking in all of

1099
00:54:03,920 --> 00:54:07,160
Speaker 1: this information, it can be overwhelming, and that's how people

1100
00:54:07,320 --> 00:54:10,840
Speaker 1: lose sight of gratitude by being overwhelmed and over stimulated.

1101
00:54:12,239 --> 00:54:13,839
Speaker 6: There needs to be some type of balance there, because

1102
00:54:13,880 --> 00:54:16,480
Speaker 6: there is a benefit in hearing all those other stories,

1103
00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:18,799
Speaker 6: because you'll hear something that you might have never gone

1104
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:21,200
Speaker 6: through or will never go through, so you can learn

1105
00:54:21,239 --> 00:54:24,359
Speaker 6: somebody's perspective how they dealt with it. But yeah, if

1106
00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:26,759
Speaker 6: you don't know how to balance things for yourself, yeah,

1107
00:54:26,920 --> 00:54:29,560
Speaker 6: or you've been through anything, you're just going off with

1108
00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:30,240
Speaker 6: somebody else's.

1109
00:54:30,920 --> 00:54:32,560
Speaker 2: We could do that now in our forties because we

1110
00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:34,520
Speaker 2: kind of know how to sift through and decipher what's

1111
00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:36,560
Speaker 2: good or what's bad or what's not, you know. But

1112
00:54:36,760 --> 00:54:39,120
Speaker 2: I guess for kids growing up, it's definitely a detriment

1113
00:54:39,239 --> 00:54:42,760
Speaker 2: or can be a detriment if they're not being filtered somehow.

1114
00:54:43,160 --> 00:54:44,360
Speaker 1: No, I think it can be a detriment. But I

1115
00:54:44,440 --> 00:54:46,960
Speaker 1: also think it's necessary as well to have to live

1116
00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:52,160
Speaker 1: these experience right. There's an old adage that says you

1117
00:54:52,280 --> 00:54:54,920
Speaker 1: can learn. Being smart is learning from your own mistakes.

1118
00:54:55,080 --> 00:54:58,520
Speaker 1: Being wise is learning from someone else's mistakes. But when

1119
00:54:58,560 --> 00:55:01,880
Speaker 1: I think about that, it's learning from someone else's mistakes.

1120
00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:05,000
Speaker 1: Is means you're trying to avoid mistakes. When I've made

1121
00:55:05,040 --> 00:55:06,920
Speaker 1: mistakes and had to fix my own mistakes when I

1122
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:08,960
Speaker 1: really got the lesson. You know what I'm saying, which

1123
00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:10,880
Speaker 1: means you don't really want to You don't want to

1124
00:55:10,920 --> 00:55:13,520
Speaker 1: run into no bad mistakes. But it's like, don't be

1125
00:55:13,640 --> 00:55:17,359
Speaker 1: upset if something fails. That's the gratitude and the loss.

1126
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:19,239
Speaker 1: The gratitude and the loss is that I'm learning so

1127
00:55:19,360 --> 00:55:21,800
Speaker 1: much about myself and how to get through this to

1128
00:55:21,880 --> 00:55:24,360
Speaker 1: give some wisdom to someone else. So even if you

1129
00:55:24,440 --> 00:55:26,520
Speaker 1: make a poor choice in that moment and you feel like, dang,

1130
00:55:26,560 --> 00:55:28,800
Speaker 1: I'm not smart enough to learn from someone else's mistakes, no,

1131
00:55:30,320 --> 00:55:32,439
Speaker 1: enjoy the fact that you made a mistake being cut

1132
00:55:32,560 --> 00:55:35,760
Speaker 1: from the NFL. Greatest thing ever happened to me. Greatest

1133
00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:38,360
Speaker 1: thing why because I learned in that moment that I

1134
00:55:38,440 --> 00:55:41,360
Speaker 1: can't rely on anybody else from my livelihood period. I

1135
00:55:41,400 --> 00:55:43,400
Speaker 1: also learned how to build a business from the ground up.

1136
00:55:43,920 --> 00:55:45,600
Speaker 1: You know, I learned all those things that I had

1137
00:55:45,680 --> 00:55:48,239
Speaker 1: learned because I was forced to. It's part of who

1138
00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:50,000
Speaker 1: I am now and can create for my family, And

1139
00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:51,719
Speaker 1: had it not happen, I wouldn't be able to be

1140
00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:52,919
Speaker 1: in a position I am today.

1141
00:55:53,040 --> 00:55:55,359
Speaker 2: Also, learn to control your emotions and keep some things

1142
00:55:55,360 --> 00:55:57,440
Speaker 2: to yourself. You want to say it, don't say it

1143
00:55:57,560 --> 00:56:00,000
Speaker 2: because you never know, and I would.

1144
00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:02,480
Speaker 1: Ever again in the team environment. If I know that

1145
00:56:02,600 --> 00:56:05,359
Speaker 1: I'm right, still ain't gonna say it because it may

1146
00:56:05,440 --> 00:56:06,399
Speaker 1: not be right for the team.

1147
00:56:07,440 --> 00:56:10,440
Speaker 6: You said it may be like you're trying to avoid

1148
00:56:12,160 --> 00:56:15,160
Speaker 6: getting something wrong. Yeah, I don't view it that way,

1149
00:56:15,360 --> 00:56:17,880
Speaker 6: like you're trying to avoid it. You could take the

1150
00:56:17,920 --> 00:56:20,960
Speaker 6: wisdom from somebody else to be able to do.

1151
00:56:22,480 --> 00:56:23,719
Speaker 1: I understand what you're saying, to.

1152
00:56:23,719 --> 00:56:25,479
Speaker 6: Be able to do things in a more efficient manner.

1153
00:56:25,600 --> 00:56:27,720
Speaker 6: But you still shouldn't be mad at yourself. You should

1154
00:56:27,719 --> 00:56:30,239
Speaker 6: be You should be able to know within yourself that

1155
00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:32,839
Speaker 6: I still might stumble. I could look online learn how

1156
00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:34,719
Speaker 6: to learn something, but they're not could come into a

1157
00:56:34,760 --> 00:56:37,480
Speaker 6: situation where everything is not the same. Now that I

1158
00:56:37,520 --> 00:56:38,400
Speaker 6: got to be able to pivot.

1159
00:56:38,560 --> 00:56:38,960
Speaker 1: Oh yeah.

1160
00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:41,560
Speaker 2: The person who gets the advice based off of your

1161
00:56:41,640 --> 00:56:44,279
Speaker 2: lived experience and then still doesn't take your advice. Yeah,

1162
00:56:44,440 --> 00:56:46,080
Speaker 2: they still want to learn the hard way. That's essentially

1163
00:56:46,120 --> 00:56:48,919
Speaker 2: the circle of life, right, it's a parent and a child,

1164
00:56:49,040 --> 00:56:51,520
Speaker 2: it's sometimes sibling to sibling, parent to child. It's like

1165
00:56:51,920 --> 00:56:54,120
Speaker 2: I told you what you should do, and you didn't

1166
00:56:54,160 --> 00:56:55,759
Speaker 2: listen to what you should do because you had to

1167
00:56:55,840 --> 00:56:57,440
Speaker 2: make the mistake on your own in order to learn

1168
00:56:57,480 --> 00:56:57,839
Speaker 2: the lesson.

1169
00:56:57,960 --> 00:57:00,080
Speaker 1: That was me. I was called hard headed because that

1170
00:57:00,239 --> 00:57:01,920
Speaker 1: if you're hard headed, you don't listen. And it's like,

1171
00:57:02,000 --> 00:57:03,040
Speaker 1: it's not that I'm not listening.

1172
00:57:03,120 --> 00:57:05,360
Speaker 2: I want to know why not to do that, Like

1173
00:57:05,560 --> 00:57:06,560
Speaker 2: like you want to feel it.

1174
00:57:06,600 --> 00:57:08,879
Speaker 1: I want to I want to understand. There's a jail

1175
00:57:08,920 --> 00:57:11,640
Speaker 1: full of dudes who think they are smart the law. Well,

1176
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:13,040
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to smart.

1177
00:57:14,280 --> 00:57:17,360
Speaker 8: I'm just saying in general, like people like it's it's

1178
00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:20,600
Speaker 8: innate within us to almost assume like we can out

1179
00:57:20,640 --> 00:57:23,400
Speaker 8: smart whatever it's out there. Like you can think that

1180
00:57:23,520 --> 00:57:25,520
Speaker 8: you're going to be able to succeed, and probably the

1181
00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:26,520
Speaker 8: truth is that you can't.

1182
00:57:27,040 --> 00:57:30,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, that is actually true. That is true. My thing

1183
00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:33,360
Speaker 1: is I'm the type of guy that's like I'm trying

1184
00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:36,040
Speaker 1: to time my shoe. Matt comes over, was like, yo,

1185
00:57:36,080 --> 00:57:38,280
Speaker 1: when we show you how to do that, like, no,

1186
00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:41,320
Speaker 1: I want to figure it out how to do that,

1187
00:57:41,400 --> 00:57:42,960
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So sometimes for me, it's

1188
00:57:43,080 --> 00:57:46,240
Speaker 1: like the loss is in the hours that I took

1189
00:57:46,400 --> 00:57:48,960
Speaker 1: learning how to tie my shoe, but the fact that

1190
00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:51,240
Speaker 1: I learned on my own was something that I gained,

1191
00:57:51,800 --> 00:57:52,640
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying.

1192
00:57:52,640 --> 00:57:54,080
Speaker 2: Right, But there are some people that's just like all,

1193
00:57:54,160 --> 00:57:55,680
Speaker 2: I didn't tie my shoe for me, so it will

1194
00:57:55,680 --> 00:57:57,040
Speaker 2: help me get this done faster and I can be

1195
00:57:57,120 --> 00:57:57,760
Speaker 2: onto the next thing.

1196
00:57:59,240 --> 00:58:02,120
Speaker 6: I'm the person show me after you showed me. I'll

1197
00:58:02,280 --> 00:58:04,360
Speaker 6: try to do for myself, but I learned better when

1198
00:58:04,360 --> 00:58:07,040
Speaker 6: I see somebody do something, you can go practice it

1199
00:58:07,080 --> 00:58:08,360
Speaker 6: for myself. I may not get it right on the

1200
00:58:08,360 --> 00:58:08,840
Speaker 6: first ride.

1201
00:58:09,080 --> 00:58:11,400
Speaker 1: That's fun and that's and that's fair, Like that's how

1202
00:58:11,440 --> 00:58:15,040
Speaker 1: your brain works. It makes sense. Now I'm gonna try that. See,

1203
00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:16,520
Speaker 1: I'm gonna try to but I know me. I'm so

1204
00:58:16,640 --> 00:58:17,120
Speaker 1: hard headed.

1205
00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:17,280
Speaker 6: Bro.

1206
00:58:17,840 --> 00:58:19,840
Speaker 1: People, Sometimes you're trying to help me and I'll be like, nah,

1207
00:58:19,880 --> 00:58:22,600
Speaker 1: I enjoy like I walk around with the Rubik's cube

1208
00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:24,640
Speaker 1: just because I enjoy trying to figure stuff out.

1209
00:58:24,920 --> 00:58:27,000
Speaker 2: Like you hadn't even admitted it recently. You were like,

1210
00:58:27,160 --> 00:58:30,400
Speaker 2: I sometimes will not do something in the moment somebody

1211
00:58:30,440 --> 00:58:32,000
Speaker 2: will ask or say to do it or do it

1212
00:58:32,080 --> 00:58:34,400
Speaker 2: that way, because I just don't want somebody telling me

1213
00:58:34,480 --> 00:58:35,680
Speaker 2: what to do and how to do it and when

1214
00:58:35,720 --> 00:58:36,000
Speaker 2: to do it.

1215
00:58:36,280 --> 00:58:38,520
Speaker 1: Facts the fact that's that I don't know if it's

1216
00:58:38,520 --> 00:58:40,640
Speaker 1: an areas or because I'm a first born, or because

1217
00:58:40,680 --> 00:58:43,080
Speaker 1: my parents used to always try to control. That's the

1218
00:58:43,160 --> 00:58:45,480
Speaker 1: trigger for me when someone says, hey, devout, do it

1219
00:58:45,600 --> 00:58:47,480
Speaker 1: like this, or I'm immediately like, I don't want to

1220
00:58:47,480 --> 00:58:49,240
Speaker 1: do it your way, and then I end up doing

1221
00:58:49,280 --> 00:58:52,280
Speaker 1: it the way they said it, and I just liked listen,

1222
00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:54,680
Speaker 1: but I figured it out of the moon, so I

1223
00:58:54,760 --> 00:58:56,960
Speaker 1: didn't need you. That's, you know what I'm saying, Like

1224
00:58:58,120 --> 00:59:00,160
Speaker 1: I could I see why you don't like YouTube as

1225
00:59:00,280 --> 00:59:01,160
Speaker 1: much I don't.

1226
00:59:01,360 --> 00:59:02,160
Speaker 6: I like YouTube.

1227
00:59:02,480 --> 00:59:07,520
Speaker 1: I don't like we were talking about that yesterday. Them

1228
00:59:07,560 --> 00:59:09,560
Speaker 1: too will go on YouTube and figure something out. I'm

1229
00:59:09,560 --> 00:59:11,200
Speaker 1: gonna sit there with all the pieces.

1230
00:59:10,880 --> 00:59:16,000
Speaker 2: And be like it's gonna be as I love it

1231
00:59:16,560 --> 00:59:18,640
Speaker 2: all right, y'all. I think this is a good one. Yeah,

1232
00:59:18,680 --> 00:59:19,160
Speaker 2: a good one.

1233
00:59:20,320 --> 00:59:22,480
Speaker 1: Practicing gratitude. Don't think of a good one.

1234
00:59:22,560 --> 00:59:26,880
Speaker 2: I was like it, I feel that I feel very fulfilled.

1235
00:59:26,920 --> 00:59:29,240
Speaker 2: I hope you guys are too listening. So let's take

1236
00:59:29,240 --> 00:59:31,000
Speaker 2: a quick break and we're gonna get back with our

1237
00:59:31,040 --> 00:59:46,120
Speaker 2: listener Letter of to day. So stick around. All right,

1238
00:59:46,200 --> 00:59:48,360
Speaker 2: we're back with our listener Letter of the Day. I'm

1239
00:59:48,400 --> 00:59:50,320
Speaker 2: going to dive right in. It looks like it's a

1240
00:59:50,400 --> 00:59:53,440
Speaker 2: lengthy one. So hello, mister and missus Ellis. My name

1241
00:59:53,520 --> 00:59:56,800
Speaker 2: is Dion whatever. Let me start by saying, y'all are

1242
00:59:56,840 --> 00:59:58,920
Speaker 2: doing an amazing job with the podcast. I love how

1243
00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:01,720
Speaker 2: it's evolved and grown just as y'all have the way

1244
01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:04,640
Speaker 2: y'all are very open about family and life. I absolutely

1245
01:00:04,720 --> 01:00:08,040
Speaker 2: admire why. Thank you. My question is me and my

1246
01:00:08,120 --> 01:00:11,320
Speaker 2: wife have begun the journey of parenthood and who it's

1247
01:00:11,440 --> 01:00:13,840
Speaker 2: been a ride with a now four month old. Quite

1248
01:00:13,880 --> 01:00:16,280
Speaker 2: often during the first few months, we struggled with trying

1249
01:00:16,320 --> 01:00:18,840
Speaker 2: to figure out how to keep the baby down because

1250
01:00:18,880 --> 01:00:21,400
Speaker 2: everyone keeps saying, don't hold them all the time, that's

1251
01:00:21,440 --> 01:00:24,160
Speaker 2: going to spoil them. I myself took four weeks of

1252
01:00:24,280 --> 01:00:27,120
Speaker 2: my time off and two weeks paid from my job

1253
01:00:27,240 --> 01:00:28,920
Speaker 2: for a total of six weeks to bond with my

1254
01:00:29,040 --> 01:00:32,200
Speaker 2: wife and took and my wife took three months off.

1255
01:00:32,320 --> 01:00:35,080
Speaker 2: That's great. When we would put him down, he would

1256
01:00:35,120 --> 01:00:39,000
Speaker 2: continuously cry. Diapers had been changed and he'd been fed

1257
01:00:39,080 --> 01:00:42,280
Speaker 2: and burned. I'm a little bit better about letting him cry,

1258
01:00:42,360 --> 01:00:44,400
Speaker 2: but my wife, on the other hand, struggles with allowing

1259
01:00:44,480 --> 01:00:47,600
Speaker 2: longer crying spells before picking him up for comfort. I

1260
01:00:47,760 --> 01:00:52,920
Speaker 2: understand it was probably ours at one point too, when

1261
01:00:53,000 --> 01:00:55,280
Speaker 2: y'all had Jackson. How did you figure out the perfect

1262
01:00:55,280 --> 01:00:57,520
Speaker 2: balance between picking him up for comfort and just letting

1263
01:00:57,600 --> 01:01:01,880
Speaker 2: him cry so y'all can take care of yourselves, for instance, shower, eat,

1264
01:01:01,920 --> 01:01:04,640
Speaker 2: clean up, et cetera for extra content. When I went

1265
01:01:04,720 --> 01:01:06,720
Speaker 2: back to work in June, my wife kept him during

1266
01:01:06,720 --> 01:01:08,720
Speaker 2: the day and found it very hard to maneuver without

1267
01:01:08,760 --> 01:01:11,040
Speaker 2: having to pick him up or sleep with him. Because

1268
01:01:11,080 --> 01:01:13,040
Speaker 2: he did not like the bascinet. He would not get

1269
01:01:13,080 --> 01:01:15,360
Speaker 2: to sleep, and five to ten minutes after being in

1270
01:01:15,400 --> 01:01:18,280
Speaker 2: the basinet he would wake up, wake or himself would

1271
01:01:18,280 --> 01:01:20,600
Speaker 2: wake up. She just started back work this week and

1272
01:01:20,640 --> 01:01:23,400
Speaker 2: it's been a relief with daycare for her. What advice

1273
01:01:23,440 --> 01:01:25,880
Speaker 2: would you give for a smoother journey with the second

1274
01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:28,400
Speaker 2: baby to come, because we're going for another one in

1275
01:01:28,520 --> 01:01:32,520
Speaker 2: four years it's that first time parent thing.

1276
01:01:32,680 --> 01:01:33,920
Speaker 1: Now, put the fucking baby down.

1277
01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:35,880
Speaker 2: It's that first time parent man.

1278
01:01:36,240 --> 01:01:38,520
Speaker 1: Man, I got four kids, man.

1279
01:01:38,560 --> 01:01:40,680
Speaker 2: Baby, and it got it got. I mean that four,

1280
01:01:40,880 --> 01:01:43,600
Speaker 2: it got wurs with each four, I should stay better.

1281
01:01:44,120 --> 01:01:47,480
Speaker 1: Well, I'll say this, we gave each ourselves grace. We

1282
01:01:47,600 --> 01:01:49,840
Speaker 1: gave people grace. People gonna want to see babies and

1283
01:01:49,880 --> 01:01:52,480
Speaker 1: pick babies up. Right, a baby four months old? The

1284
01:01:52,560 --> 01:01:54,480
Speaker 1: baby I picked the baby up, like let them you

1285
01:01:54,480 --> 01:01:55,920
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. But if you got to go

1286
01:01:55,960 --> 01:01:57,880
Speaker 1: take a shower and the baby has to cry for

1287
01:01:58,080 --> 01:02:01,400
Speaker 1: six minutes, yeah, man, put that baby be downby fine.

1288
01:02:02,120 --> 01:02:03,480
Speaker 2: Let me tell you there's been times when I had

1289
01:02:03,520 --> 01:02:05,080
Speaker 2: to put the baby in the car seat, bring the

1290
01:02:05,160 --> 01:02:07,080
Speaker 2: car seat in the bathroom with me while I took

1291
01:02:07,080 --> 01:02:09,320
Speaker 2: a shower. Yeah, he's gonna cry a little bit. But

1292
01:02:09,480 --> 01:02:12,840
Speaker 2: also the flip side of this is that what do

1293
01:02:12,920 --> 01:02:16,479
Speaker 2: they say, the days are long, but the years is short.

1294
01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:19,960
Speaker 2: And that baby period, that newborn period that you know,

1295
01:02:20,120 --> 01:02:24,120
Speaker 2: three month old, four months old, and then after and listen, child,

1296
01:02:24,200 --> 01:02:26,480
Speaker 2: after the baby reaches eighteen months, don't start with twenty

1297
01:02:26,520 --> 01:02:29,760
Speaker 2: three months and thirty eight months like the baby's three,

1298
01:02:29,840 --> 01:02:32,720
Speaker 2: all right, So cut that shit out, but no.

1299
01:02:32,880 --> 01:02:35,240
Speaker 6: It's advocate to stop that after twelve.

1300
01:02:35,240 --> 01:02:36,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, twelve.

1301
01:02:36,760 --> 01:02:39,560
Speaker 2: One reason why I say eighteen months because it's clothing

1302
01:02:39,720 --> 01:02:41,680
Speaker 2: sizes and stuff. It's like, okay, eighteen months, and then

1303
01:02:41,720 --> 01:02:45,320
Speaker 2: after that is to t forget it. But those that

1304
01:02:45,480 --> 01:02:48,000
Speaker 2: short period of time is something that you won't get back.

1305
01:02:48,520 --> 01:02:50,720
Speaker 2: And I haven't quite reached the point, maybe because we

1306
01:02:50,800 --> 01:02:52,520
Speaker 2: have four kids where I see a baby and I'm like,

1307
01:02:52,640 --> 01:02:54,760
Speaker 2: oh my god, I'm gonna just pick up this newborn.

1308
01:02:55,000 --> 01:02:56,600
Speaker 2: I'd be like, you can hold your baby, honey. I don't.

1309
01:02:56,680 --> 01:02:58,080
Speaker 2: I don't need to hold your baby. I'm good. I

1310
01:02:58,160 --> 01:02:59,880
Speaker 2: had four of them, so I haven't quite reached that

1311
01:03:00,080 --> 01:03:02,280
Speaker 2: phase yet. Maybe want to become a grandparent then it'll

1312
01:03:02,320 --> 01:03:04,880
Speaker 2: kick back in. But try to find a balance because

1313
01:03:04,920 --> 01:03:06,880
Speaker 2: you do want to savor those moments with the baby.

1314
01:03:06,920 --> 01:03:08,640
Speaker 2: But she has to get done like life goes on.

1315
01:03:08,960 --> 01:03:12,479
Speaker 1: Dion, Dion, listened to me, Bro, your wife is gonna

1316
01:03:12,520 --> 01:03:14,880
Speaker 1: have mom guilt. There's gonna be certain things that she's

1317
01:03:14,960 --> 01:03:18,560
Speaker 1: not gonna understand. Bro, you have to be understanding of that.

1318
01:03:19,040 --> 01:03:21,680
Speaker 1: Listen to her talk, let her be upset, but put

1319
01:03:21,760 --> 01:03:25,200
Speaker 1: the fucking baby down. I'm serious. No, there comes a

1320
01:03:25,280 --> 01:03:28,840
Speaker 1: point when Dad's got to be like, the baby being

1321
01:03:28,920 --> 01:03:31,480
Speaker 1: inside of you is why you felt like this, but

1322
01:03:31,600 --> 01:03:34,160
Speaker 1: it's also not good for you and it's not good

1323
01:03:34,200 --> 01:03:37,360
Speaker 1: for the baby. With Jackson, it was tough for us,

1324
01:03:37,800 --> 01:03:39,840
Speaker 1: and it got better with each one because I remember

1325
01:03:39,880 --> 01:03:42,800
Speaker 1: by the time Kyrol came around five years later. Remember

1326
01:03:42,840 --> 01:03:48,880
Speaker 1: the sleep method, what is it called the method? Yeah,

1327
01:03:49,640 --> 01:03:51,520
Speaker 1: the Ferber method is when you let the baby cry.

1328
01:03:51,640 --> 01:03:55,680
Speaker 6: Yea, let baby cry and go to sleep.

1329
01:03:56,040 --> 01:03:58,439
Speaker 1: Yep, it's has a name. Now has a name, someone

1330
01:03:58,560 --> 01:04:03,120
Speaker 1: named sure, Yeah, somebody Ferber. Some white lady probably stole

1331
01:04:03,160 --> 01:04:05,400
Speaker 1: it from some black lady, you know what I'm saying.

1332
01:04:05,920 --> 01:04:07,800
Speaker 1: And now she called it this her thing. But I

1333
01:04:07,960 --> 01:04:10,000
Speaker 1: kid you not. We did it with Cairo and did

1334
01:04:10,040 --> 01:04:10,520
Speaker 1: it not work?

1335
01:04:10,760 --> 01:04:11,120
Speaker 2: It worked?

1336
01:04:11,200 --> 01:04:13,880
Speaker 1: It worked in three nights. It worked the very first

1337
01:04:14,000 --> 01:04:18,800
Speaker 1: night Kyrol screamed and k was just like deval, like

1338
01:04:18,880 --> 01:04:19,200
Speaker 1: how long?

1339
01:04:19,320 --> 01:04:21,080
Speaker 2: I was just like yo, yeah, cry And then this

1340
01:04:21,360 --> 01:04:22,640
Speaker 2: is like this method to it, like you have to

1341
01:04:22,720 --> 01:04:24,920
Speaker 2: pop in kind of reassure them because then you have

1342
01:04:25,000 --> 01:04:26,760
Speaker 2: the other side of the folks saying that the baby

1343
01:04:26,840 --> 01:04:30,480
Speaker 2: is going to experience all sorts of traumas because of that.

1344
01:04:31,000 --> 01:04:33,400
Speaker 2: But there's like a reassurance like I'm still here, You're fine,

1345
01:04:33,840 --> 01:04:34,800
Speaker 2: and then you go back out.

1346
01:04:34,920 --> 01:04:36,800
Speaker 1: The baby has to get used to watching you leave

1347
01:04:36,880 --> 01:04:39,240
Speaker 1: the room knowing that you're gonna come back, so you're

1348
01:04:39,240 --> 01:04:41,720
Speaker 1: going to give reassurance and then leaving and them crying

1349
01:04:41,760 --> 01:04:44,960
Speaker 1: and be like, yo, you can cry, but I gotta go. Caz,

1350
01:04:45,360 --> 01:04:48,960
Speaker 1: We had no problems, Dakota, no problems.

1351
01:04:49,320 --> 01:04:50,120
Speaker 4: It was just what it is.

1352
01:04:50,320 --> 01:04:51,480
Speaker 1: It was only the first one.

1353
01:04:51,600 --> 01:04:54,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, Kaz too, to this day is still Kaz is

1354
01:04:54,760 --> 01:04:57,000
Speaker 2: probably the easiest cas like, leave me the funk alone.

1355
01:04:57,000 --> 01:04:59,320
Speaker 2: I'm going to sleep, like still like that. He's still

1356
01:04:59,360 --> 01:05:00,919
Speaker 2: like that now would be like I'm going to sleep.

1357
01:05:00,960 --> 01:05:02,320
Speaker 2: Y'all can stay up if you want, but I'm going

1358
01:05:02,360 --> 01:05:04,880
Speaker 2: to bed. You know, it's a short period of time.

1359
01:05:04,960 --> 01:05:06,720
Speaker 2: Try to enjoy the moments, but you also have to

1360
01:05:06,760 --> 01:05:07,440
Speaker 2: stay staying in it.

1361
01:05:07,880 --> 01:05:09,800
Speaker 1: But let's tell him the bad parts too, though. You

1362
01:05:09,920 --> 01:05:12,640
Speaker 1: let that baby staying peeking, keeping up with you. Jackson

1363
01:05:12,680 --> 01:05:14,120
Speaker 1: stayed in the bed with us till he was four,

1364
01:05:14,520 --> 01:05:16,080
Speaker 1: and when he was three and trying to figure out

1365
01:05:16,120 --> 01:05:18,120
Speaker 1: how to use the bathroom, he kept coming in out

1366
01:05:18,200 --> 01:05:21,479
Speaker 1: bed to pee. This is a true story. We lived

1367
01:05:21,480 --> 01:05:24,400
Speaker 1: in the old pre World War two built apartment that

1368
01:05:24,480 --> 01:05:25,720
Speaker 1: when you flush the toilet.

1369
01:05:25,480 --> 01:05:27,920
Speaker 2: It was like it was scary as hell.

1370
01:05:28,120 --> 01:05:30,360
Speaker 1: So for like four nights in a row, we wake

1371
01:05:30,480 --> 01:05:32,040
Speaker 1: up and we like, yo, why is the bed way?

1372
01:05:32,680 --> 01:05:34,000
Speaker 1: Jackson was peeing in the bed.

1373
01:05:35,360 --> 01:05:37,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'll be leave his room to come in

1374
01:05:37,640 --> 01:05:38,760
Speaker 2: our bed and he would wet the bed.

1375
01:05:38,960 --> 01:05:40,720
Speaker 1: Yeah. I was gonna say that at the end of

1376
01:05:40,800 --> 01:05:41,160
Speaker 1: the story.

1377
01:05:41,320 --> 01:05:42,160
Speaker 2: Oh, sorry, my bad.

1378
01:05:42,200 --> 01:05:42,680
Speaker 5: I didn't.

1379
01:05:45,040 --> 01:05:48,880
Speaker 1: The typically a punchline. Yeah, well there goes my bad

1380
01:05:49,680 --> 01:05:50,400
Speaker 1: story over.

1381
01:05:53,880 --> 01:05:54,160
Speaker 4: Dion.

1382
01:05:54,440 --> 01:05:56,000
Speaker 1: If you keep hoing on that baby gonna come to

1383
01:05:56,040 --> 01:05:58,160
Speaker 1: your room at four in the morning when he's three

1384
01:05:58,520 --> 01:06:01,440
Speaker 1: and pee on you and your wife. Because Jackson did

1385
01:06:01,480 --> 01:06:04,320
Speaker 1: it until and this is the funny part. I took

1386
01:06:04,440 --> 01:06:05,760
Speaker 1: him out of the bed one night because he came

1387
01:06:05,800 --> 01:06:07,120
Speaker 1: in at the end of the night right and I

1388
01:06:07,160 --> 01:06:08,840
Speaker 1: felt him coming in here, and I said, uh uh,

1389
01:06:09,200 --> 01:06:11,200
Speaker 1: I said, what are you doing. He was just like,

1390
01:06:11,280 --> 01:06:13,200
Speaker 1: I'm scared. I said, scared of what he said? I

1391
01:06:13,200 --> 01:06:15,040
Speaker 1: got to use the bathroom. I took him in the bathroom,

1392
01:06:15,080 --> 01:06:17,560
Speaker 1: I said, go pee. He peed the longest peach stream.

1393
01:06:17,640 --> 01:06:19,960
Speaker 1: It was like a forty five second peace stream for

1394
01:06:20,040 --> 01:06:23,160
Speaker 1: a three year old, and he was holding it in

1395
01:06:23,280 --> 01:06:25,200
Speaker 1: his room. So then he came in our room because

1396
01:06:25,240 --> 01:06:26,800
Speaker 1: he had to let it go. He didn't want so

1397
01:06:27,200 --> 01:06:28,880
Speaker 1: I said, go to the bathroom. He peed right, So

1398
01:06:28,960 --> 01:06:30,280
Speaker 1: then he didn't flush the toilet, and I said, why

1399
01:06:30,280 --> 01:06:32,880
Speaker 1: ain't flush the toilet? He said, it's scary. So that's

1400
01:06:32,880 --> 01:06:35,919
Speaker 1: when I was like, ah ah, So then I said

1401
01:06:35,960 --> 01:06:37,720
Speaker 1: go flush the toilet. So then we went to go

1402
01:06:37,800 --> 01:06:40,800
Speaker 1: flush the toilet. I left and then I seen him

1403
01:06:40,800 --> 01:06:43,440
Speaker 1: flush the toilet proof come running in our room and

1404
01:06:43,520 --> 01:06:46,280
Speaker 1: I said, look, I'm right here. What happened. Never peed

1405
01:06:46,400 --> 01:06:48,720
Speaker 1: on us ever again after that. And the reason why

1406
01:06:48,720 --> 01:06:50,400
Speaker 1: I tell a story like that is sometimes you got

1407
01:06:50,560 --> 01:06:52,120
Speaker 1: to put your kid through a little bit of trauma

1408
01:06:52,160 --> 01:06:54,440
Speaker 1: for them to realize nothing's going to happen.

1409
01:06:54,600 --> 01:06:55,960
Speaker 2: Same thing with cod and the monsters.

1410
01:06:56,040 --> 01:06:58,240
Speaker 6: I was just about. Wasn't that the same similar story?

1411
01:06:58,360 --> 01:06:59,640
Speaker 2: Yes, the similar story.

1412
01:06:59,800 --> 01:07:02,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, but we as parents the bathroom, Me and his

1413
01:07:02,440 --> 01:07:04,320
Speaker 1: parents make it worse for them, though, because we want

1414
01:07:04,360 --> 01:07:06,080
Speaker 1: to keep holding him and picking them up and put

1415
01:07:06,080 --> 01:07:09,560
Speaker 1: that baby down, put them, put the baby down.

1416
01:07:10,520 --> 01:07:12,400
Speaker 2: Once she reached that second jat It's like every parent

1417
01:07:12,480 --> 01:07:14,120
Speaker 2: when it's the first child, they want all the things.

1418
01:07:14,200 --> 01:07:16,480
Speaker 2: The Registry listens this long you're doing all the things.

1419
01:07:16,880 --> 01:07:18,800
Speaker 2: By the time two three four roll around, Honey, they

1420
01:07:18,920 --> 01:07:21,240
Speaker 2: raising themselves. We got a wolves pack over here. We

1421
01:07:21,360 --> 01:07:22,840
Speaker 2: just kind of threw the coder with the boys and

1422
01:07:22,960 --> 01:07:24,439
Speaker 2: they've been raising him ever since.

1423
01:07:24,840 --> 01:07:28,280
Speaker 1: I wish, I wish, I can't I had these pictures.

1424
01:07:28,840 --> 01:07:30,360
Speaker 1: Remember when you used to walk around the house with

1425
01:07:30,480 --> 01:07:33,760
Speaker 1: your titties out when you had cash. Yo. This is

1426
01:07:33,800 --> 01:07:40,680
Speaker 1: a true story, yo, you do. This is when Kyrie

1427
01:07:40,800 --> 01:07:43,000
Speaker 1: we had two under two and it was just a

1428
01:07:43,080 --> 01:07:45,760
Speaker 1: lot and there was a point where remember at first

1429
01:07:45,760 --> 01:07:48,760
Speaker 1: we was doing everything perfect with Jackson, and then Kyro

1430
01:07:48,920 --> 01:07:50,520
Speaker 1: came and we was trying and it was like, fucking

1431
01:07:50,600 --> 01:07:53,720
Speaker 1: we outnumbered. Kay had this shirt bro, and whenever they

1432
01:07:53,800 --> 01:07:54,920
Speaker 1: needed to eat, she would just.

1433
01:07:54,960 --> 01:07:58,920
Speaker 2: Be like it was like a tank top that was

1434
01:07:59,040 --> 01:08:01,360
Speaker 2: like kind of low and it was just like.

1435
01:08:01,920 --> 01:08:07,280
Speaker 1: And it just reminds me of hello, dude. Jackson was

1436
01:08:07,360 --> 01:08:09,840
Speaker 1: like this, let me perfect this. When it came to cash,

1437
01:08:10,200 --> 01:08:12,680
Speaker 1: titty out, she walking around doing a bunch of other stuff,

1438
01:08:12,680 --> 01:08:14,439
Speaker 1: and I said, look at she'd be done with the baby.

1439
01:08:14,480 --> 01:08:16,559
Speaker 1: She'd like here. I'm like, you just threw the baby

1440
01:08:16,600 --> 01:08:17,960
Speaker 1: at me. She ain't need to be changed.

1441
01:08:18,320 --> 01:08:18,800
Speaker 4: I changed.

1442
01:08:18,800 --> 01:08:20,160
Speaker 1: The baby needs to be changed.

1443
01:08:20,200 --> 01:08:21,000
Speaker 2: This correct.

1444
01:08:21,680 --> 01:08:23,479
Speaker 1: You said you're having the second one. Dion watched the

1445
01:08:23,520 --> 01:08:25,439
Speaker 1: second one. You ain't even gonna care. You just gonna

1446
01:08:25,439 --> 01:08:26,720
Speaker 1: throw the second one with the first one.

1447
01:08:27,800 --> 01:08:28,840
Speaker 2: We love our kids, y'all.

1448
01:08:29,120 --> 01:08:30,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, but they like a little wolf pack now they.

1449
01:08:30,960 --> 01:08:33,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're right, everybody. No one gets left.

1450
01:08:33,240 --> 01:08:37,840
Speaker 6: Behind so many kids and newborns that I'm gonna act

1451
01:08:37,960 --> 01:08:38,720
Speaker 6: like that with the first one.

1452
01:08:38,880 --> 01:08:41,560
Speaker 1: Here. Then you ahead of the game, bro, trust me,

1453
01:08:41,640 --> 01:08:45,080
Speaker 1: You ahead of the game faster. It'll save your marriage too,

1454
01:08:45,479 --> 01:08:45,920
Speaker 1: trust me.

1455
01:08:46,240 --> 01:08:46,640
Speaker 5: I love it.

1456
01:08:46,760 --> 01:08:48,880
Speaker 2: Good luck to you, Dionne and your wife. Thank you

1457
01:08:48,960 --> 01:08:50,639
Speaker 2: so much for reaching out, and thank you for listening

1458
01:08:50,760 --> 01:08:53,000
Speaker 2: to the podcast and the kind words. We appreciate you.

1459
01:08:53,520 --> 01:08:54,760
Speaker 2: All right, y'all, if you want to send us some

1460
01:08:54,840 --> 01:08:57,200
Speaker 2: kind words, or if you have any questions you want

1461
01:08:57,240 --> 01:08:59,880
Speaker 2: to share some stories, you need our two cents, be

1462
01:09:00,080 --> 01:09:03,439
Speaker 2: sure to email us at the the Elless Advice at

1463
01:09:03,520 --> 01:09:04,320
Speaker 2: gmail dot com.

1464
01:09:04,760 --> 01:09:07,000
Speaker 1: That's t h E E L l I S A

1465
01:09:07,120 --> 01:09:09,679
Speaker 1: d V I c E at gmail dot com.

1466
01:09:10,000 --> 01:09:13,360
Speaker 2: All right, moment of truth gratitude is that must?

1467
01:09:14,400 --> 01:09:14,599
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1468
01:09:15,080 --> 01:09:18,280
Speaker 1: I learned I learned something listening to Josh in Trouble.

1469
01:09:18,320 --> 01:09:19,960
Speaker 1: But the most important thing I heard about even with

1470
01:09:20,080 --> 01:09:22,479
Speaker 1: gratitude is even through gratitude, you have to learn yourself

1471
01:09:23,120 --> 01:09:25,920
Speaker 1: to know what you're going to be, what it is for. Yeah,

1472
01:09:26,200 --> 01:09:29,479
Speaker 1: you know, sometimes gratitude be fake. Everyone says I should

1473
01:09:29,479 --> 01:09:31,439
Speaker 1: pray every morning thank God for waking up. But are

1474
01:09:31,479 --> 01:09:33,320
Speaker 1: you really waking up and thanking God or are you

1475
01:09:33,439 --> 01:09:37,080
Speaker 1: really just saying it right? One thing I learned from

1476
01:09:37,120 --> 01:09:39,280
Speaker 1: everybody today is really get to know yourself so you

1477
01:09:39,360 --> 01:09:40,520
Speaker 1: can really be gratuitous.

1478
01:09:40,760 --> 01:09:43,440
Speaker 6: I love that I have an attitude of gratitude.

1479
01:09:43,720 --> 01:09:45,599
Speaker 2: Okay, now.

1480
01:09:47,880 --> 01:09:52,640
Speaker 1: Like Pa was another one. I've seen people attitude for gratitude, Attitude.

1481
01:09:52,200 --> 01:09:59,080
Speaker 2: For gratitude coming up brot me. I like Josh's had

1482
01:09:59,439 --> 01:10:03,920
Speaker 2: I said this same. Think it works anti negativity.

1483
01:10:04,439 --> 01:10:09,360
Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, I already gotta I gotta moment of truth. Yeah,

1484
01:10:09,479 --> 01:10:10,880
Speaker 8: just rewind everything I said before.

1485
01:10:11,200 --> 01:10:11,960
Speaker 2: I think that's great.

1486
01:10:12,120 --> 01:10:16,080
Speaker 5: I like that absolutely be present with what is a

1487
01:10:16,160 --> 01:10:18,800
Speaker 5: lot of times we focus on what is wrong, what

1488
01:10:18,920 --> 01:10:21,240
Speaker 5: we don't have, but we got to be grateful for

1489
01:10:21,360 --> 01:10:21,880
Speaker 5: what we do have.

1490
01:10:22,320 --> 01:10:24,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh my god, that kind of piggybacks on mine.

1491
01:10:24,400 --> 01:10:27,840
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, find your pockets of joy. When

1492
01:10:27,840 --> 01:10:30,840
Speaker 2: you find your pockets of joy in a world of hysteria,

1493
01:10:31,000 --> 01:10:34,040
Speaker 2: which it feels like that currently in the world that

1494
01:10:34,080 --> 01:10:36,240
Speaker 2: we're living in. I think you can then find things

1495
01:10:36,320 --> 01:10:40,639
Speaker 2: to be grateful for. So love you guys. This was great.

1496
01:10:41,000 --> 01:10:43,400
Speaker 2: If you want to follow a bit more of the

1497
01:10:43,479 --> 01:10:46,559
Speaker 2: Elisis and the ls ever After content for the After show,

1498
01:10:46,600 --> 01:10:49,640
Speaker 2: as well as more Ellis family content, be sure to

1499
01:10:49,720 --> 01:10:52,200
Speaker 2: do that on Patreon. Gangang. We have so much there

1500
01:10:52,280 --> 01:10:54,840
Speaker 2: for you guys to experience, and you can find us

1501
01:10:54,840 --> 01:10:58,439
Speaker 2: on social media. L US ever After on socials. I'm Kadine,

1502
01:10:58,439 --> 01:11:01,080
Speaker 2: I am I AM Platforms.

1503
01:11:00,600 --> 01:11:04,800
Speaker 1: I'm underscoring dot Ellis, and I'm Joshua Underscore Dwayne. I'm

1504
01:11:04,840 --> 01:11:06,840
Speaker 1: at Trips, The Cool t R I B b Z

1505
01:11:07,040 --> 01:11:10,280
Speaker 1: the Cool on Everything And if you're listening on Apple podcasts,

1506
01:11:10,720 --> 01:11:14,840
Speaker 1: be sure to rate reviews, subscribe, and download.

1507
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Speaker 2: Baby Dead Ass.

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Speaker 5: Got Ellis ever After is an iHeartMedia podcast. It's hosted

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Speaker 5: by Kadeen and Deval Ellis. It's produced by Triple Video,

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Speaker 5: production by Joshua Dwaane and Matthew Ellis, video editing by

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Speaker 5: Lashan Roe.

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Speaker 1: Top Top b Tok