1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,240
Speaker 1: This is Cowboy Sam and this is eh John. And

2
00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:06,720
Speaker 1: we've last owed in some amazing stories for y'all the

3
00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:10,280
Speaker 1: Okay Storytime podcasts. But before that we got a wrangle,

4
00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:13,760
Speaker 1: a quick little two minute out break from those bucking sponsors.

5
00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:16,079
Speaker 1: We bucking love so much either paid us the bucks

6
00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:20,280
Speaker 1: to help this show stay alive. My aunt disapproves of

7
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:23,720
Speaker 1: my relationship simply because we're the same gender.

8
00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:25,440
Speaker 2: Well, I disapprove of your aunt.

9
00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:29,480
Speaker 1: I second that disapproval. When I was little, I lived

10
00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:32,080
Speaker 1: with my mom and stepdad. Things were great and we

11
00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:35,000
Speaker 1: were very happy. That my mom passed away when I

12
00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:37,640
Speaker 1: was seven years old, so I moved in with my

13
00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:42,760
Speaker 1: father and stepmom. Things got complicated after that. By the way,

14
00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:45,800
Speaker 1: this comes from user throwaway stark o seven and if

15
00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:48,479
Speaker 1: you want to submit your stories, go to the r

16
00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:54,200
Speaker 1: slash Okay Storytime subreddit. So currently I have no contact

17
00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:57,000
Speaker 1: with my dad. He is not a good man nor

18
00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,960
Speaker 1: a good dad. And I live with my aunt since

19
00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:03,600
Speaker 1: twenty eighteen and her husband, who came along in twenty nineteen.

20
00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:06,800
Speaker 1: My aunt and I had an amazing relationship. She was

21
00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:11,039
Speaker 1: my favorite aunt all that. However, things started to go

22
00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:13,399
Speaker 1: wrong when I started living with her. I made the

23
00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:16,040
Speaker 1: mistake of answering that yes, I wanted to be treated

24
00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:18,920
Speaker 1: like her daughter. Along with her two sons, one my

25
00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,800
Speaker 1: age and the other three years younger. I had a

26
00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:26,039
Speaker 1: desperate need for a mother slash father, and she became

27
00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:31,119
Speaker 1: a kind of mother aunt and her husband a step day.

28
00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:34,000
Speaker 2: It's a theme. We can't escape it. Mont.

29
00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:37,240
Speaker 1: We've had multiple Monts, so I've got a Mont and

30
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:42,560
Speaker 1: Mont's husband's stepdad. Oh how I regret this. Well. She

31
00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:47,160
Speaker 1: has a favorite son, the oldest, who is lazy, arrogant, disrespectful,

32
00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:50,520
Speaker 1: and a typical golden boy who got spoiled his whole life.

33
00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:53,400
Speaker 1: Now he doesn't care about anything other than himself. For

34
00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:56,520
Speaker 1: being the other woman in the house, she constantly pushes

35
00:01:56,560 --> 00:02:00,280
Speaker 1: house chores onto me instead of the boys. Subconsciously, I

36
00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:03,280
Speaker 1: believe she pretty much only asks me about things like

37
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,000
Speaker 1: where her sons are, if the dogs were fed, if

38
00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:09,720
Speaker 1: the boys cleaned whatever room they were supposed to, stuff

39
00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:12,680
Speaker 1: like that. She's also constantly, very very rude to me,

40
00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:15,480
Speaker 1: to the point of her husband arguing with her about it.

41
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:19,720
Speaker 1: I've developed this whole syndrome of everything being my responsibility

42
00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:22,200
Speaker 1: and anxiety when it comes to her, which has been

43
00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:25,919
Speaker 1: extremely exhausting over the years. I came out to her

44
00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:30,160
Speaker 1: about my bindess four years ago. I thought she would

45
00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:33,160
Speaker 1: take it well, but she didn't. She masks her disapproval,

46
00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:36,360
Speaker 1: but she clearly doesn't like it. I was really let down.

47
00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:39,880
Speaker 1: I genuinely thought she would be supportive into everything we expect,

48
00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:43,120
Speaker 1: but she first got confused, then annoyed, and has said

49
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:46,360
Speaker 1: some very hurtful things over the years. Currently, I have

50
00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:49,600
Speaker 1: a girlfriend, age twenty two, and we've been dating for

51
00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:52,160
Speaker 1: over a year. They don't like each other very much.

52
00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:55,919
Speaker 1: My girlfriend doesn't like her because of all the things

53
00:02:55,919 --> 00:02:58,480
Speaker 1: she does to me, and my aunt doesn't care about

54
00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:01,480
Speaker 1: my girlfriend at all because well, she's a girl. That's

55
00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:05,680
Speaker 1: the context. Now here's what happened. My aunt sent some

56
00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:09,520
Speaker 1: kind of aggressive messages over something silly, and that caused

57
00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:13,320
Speaker 1: my anxiety to flare up for the gazillionth time, only

58
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:16,880
Speaker 1: this time I had reached my breaking point. I called

59
00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:19,840
Speaker 1: my other aunt by consideration she's married to my granddad,

60
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,600
Speaker 1: and asked for help, asking if I could move in

61
00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:26,360
Speaker 1: with them. She said yes. I then replied to my

62
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,240
Speaker 1: aunt with a text saying I had enough and would

63
00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:32,640
Speaker 1: move in with my granddad She got upset and said,

64
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:35,560
Speaker 1: among other things, that I had a blessing to leave,

65
00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:38,600
Speaker 1: even though I didn't ask for it. Oh, sorry, Aunt,

66
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,440
Speaker 1: I didn't realize you were my prison warden. She called

67
00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:44,560
Speaker 1: my grandma, who I'm very close to, and my grandma

68
00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:48,160
Speaker 1: sent me some awful audio messages of how disappointed she was,

69
00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:51,080
Speaker 1: how I made my aunt sad, what people would think. Oh,

70
00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:52,800
Speaker 1: I used to be such a sweet girl, and now

71
00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:55,760
Speaker 1: this I love is a choice, and I had chosen

72
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,480
Speaker 1: not to love my aunt. Stuff like that, which is

73
00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:01,840
Speaker 1: funny because it was the aunt actually discarded not to love. Ope.

74
00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:04,560
Speaker 1: My aunt and her husband went to dinner with my

75
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,160
Speaker 1: granddad that night without my presence, and told them we

76
00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,600
Speaker 1: had an amazing relationship, that she didn't know what happened,

77
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:11,680
Speaker 1: and that my problem was I couldn't take no for

78
00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:14,640
Speaker 1: an answer, et cetera, et cetera. Two days later, we

79
00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:17,719
Speaker 1: sat down to talk. She told me to start, and

80
00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:20,960
Speaker 1: I said all I wanted. She then started saying how

81
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,200
Speaker 1: that kind of thing should not have been addressed through text,

82
00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:25,839
Speaker 1: which I agree, but I had to text or i'd

83
00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:28,960
Speaker 1: freak out. That she was harder on me than the boys, because,

84
00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:31,880
Speaker 1: in other words, the world was rough, and she loved

85
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:32,440
Speaker 1: me the most.

86
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:36,840
Speaker 2: Oh, oh yeah, don't give me that I'm treating you poorly,

87
00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:39,760
Speaker 2: because I actually love you the most. It's like the

88
00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:43,240
Speaker 2: freaking I don't know, that's just messed up logic. It's

89
00:04:43,279 --> 00:04:45,520
Speaker 2: like I was protecting you so I had to. It's

90
00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:49,000
Speaker 2: the freaking it's the tangled logic. This is mother goffle.

91
00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:50,440
Speaker 2: She's like, no, I love you, That's why I have

92
00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:51,120
Speaker 2: to treat you like that.

93
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,960
Speaker 1: Well, she was right. She should have kept her up

94
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,719
Speaker 1: in that tower. Her hair was too long. Do you

95
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:56,840
Speaker 1: know how dangerous it would be to walk around town

96
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,000
Speaker 1: with your hair looking like that? Oh?

97
00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,400
Speaker 2: My goodness, do you know how many things that you

98
00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:00,600
Speaker 2: could get your hair conon?

99
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:03,920
Speaker 1: Infinite infinite? Your hair's now caught in itself? Yeah, for one.

100
00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:06,680
Speaker 1: That's terrible. Anyway, back to the story, Her husband also

101
00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:13,000
Speaker 1: spoke about how he understands both sides and blah blah blah.

102
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:15,320
Speaker 1: He said that I could go to my granddad, but

103
00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:18,040
Speaker 1: they felt like I should understand that I would only

104
00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:20,680
Speaker 1: go because they allowed it. If they didn't want me

105
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:23,240
Speaker 1: to go, I wouldn't go, no matter what my grandparents

106
00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:27,200
Speaker 1: or my granddad's wife said. He basically wanted to assert

107
00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:30,360
Speaker 1: their power position. Since my mother's passing, my whole family

108
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,000
Speaker 1: on her side feels responsible for me, so I see

109
00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:35,159
Speaker 1: all of them in the same way. None of them

110
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:37,279
Speaker 1: are my mom and dad. They are all on the

111
00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:41,480
Speaker 1: same level to me and have the same rights. Him

112
00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:44,880
Speaker 1: saying that made me burn with the intensity of a

113
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:49,760
Speaker 1: thousand suns on my insides, like they're entitled to me.

114
00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:53,000
Speaker 1: I don't belong to them or anyone. They're my aunt

115
00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:57,360
Speaker 1: and quote unquote uncle. That's about it. They think they

116
00:05:57,360 --> 00:06:00,200
Speaker 1: have something over me, but they don't. Then my aunt

117
00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:02,160
Speaker 1: said that I could go as long as I told

118
00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:06,680
Speaker 1: my granddad about my spicy proclivities and my girlfriend. Now

119
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:10,080
Speaker 1: he's kind of old fashioned, and I'm scared he'll reject me.

120
00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:13,240
Speaker 1: We have an amazing relationship. I have lunch with them

121
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:16,359
Speaker 1: every Wednesday, and I'm the closest grandkid he has. The

122
00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:18,800
Speaker 1: others aren't so invested. So I don't know if I

123
00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:21,719
Speaker 1: should tell him the truth and manage to leave depending

124
00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:24,200
Speaker 1: on his reaction, or if I shouldn't risk it and

125
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,839
Speaker 1: stay in the toxic environment I'm in. And we have

126
00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:27,520
Speaker 1: an update.

127
00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:31,160
Speaker 2: The thing is normally like you do not owe anyone

128
00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:35,520
Speaker 2: your identity, Like, you don't owe anyone telling them about

129
00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:39,440
Speaker 2: that or anything or disclosing that information. In this situation,

130
00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:43,400
Speaker 2: I think it may be better to risk that to

131
00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:45,720
Speaker 2: get out of that, like the toxic situation that you're

132
00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:48,200
Speaker 2: in right now, because you know, I feel like hopefully,

133
00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:51,599
Speaker 2: if your grandpa really loves you, he won't care. You know,

134
00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:54,359
Speaker 2: he'll realize that that like there's nothing wrong with you,

135
00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:56,160
Speaker 2: and you know it doesn't change who you are as

136
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:56,920
Speaker 2: a person at all.

137
00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,680
Speaker 1: Yeah. True, I'd be anxious to tell him just to

138
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,480
Speaker 1: be like, all right, is this another person I can

139
00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:03,840
Speaker 1: get out of my life now? I mean, yeah, you're

140
00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:05,839
Speaker 1: not liking me just because I like ladies.

141
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,640
Speaker 2: I think it's absolutely very scary, but I think people

142
00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:11,440
Speaker 2: can surprise you. Yep, sometimes in a bad way, but

143
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:12,600
Speaker 2: sometimes in a good way.

144
00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:16,040
Speaker 1: Hello, so things got much worse before they got better. Well,

145
00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:18,560
Speaker 1: they did say they got better. Let's give them names

146
00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:22,320
Speaker 1: so the storytelling will be easier. Girlfriend is Bee, aunt

147
00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:25,920
Speaker 1: is Lee, Come on, dude, husband is James, and my

148
00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:32,200
Speaker 1: aunt my granddad's wife is Rachel. I basically swallowed my

149
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:34,440
Speaker 1: anger because I couldn't bring myself to speak to my

150
00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:39,200
Speaker 1: granddad about my biness. My grandparents are the most important

151
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:41,840
Speaker 1: people in my life, as they've always been there for me,

152
00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:46,760
Speaker 1: and I was terrified of being disliked by him. That

153
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:50,360
Speaker 1: was until December. Early December, I was leaving for work,

154
00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:53,400
Speaker 1: and before I left, they tried to notify my aunt

155
00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:56,760
Speaker 1: that Be would be spending Christmas and New Year's with

156
00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:59,640
Speaker 1: me and my siblings. Note my siblings had been looking

157
00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:02,280
Speaker 1: forward to her being there, especially my brother and my

158
00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:06,880
Speaker 1: sister in law Luke and Liah, Lilah, Lilah, Lilah, We've

159
00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:11,400
Speaker 1: got Bee Leah, Luke and Lilah. Gotcha. They made it

160
00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:14,560
Speaker 1: a point that she would go I have three paternal siblings,

161
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:18,040
Speaker 1: so there's no relation between them and my aunt Leah.

162
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,400
Speaker 1: We'd be staying in a city three hours away from

163
00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:23,080
Speaker 1: mine at my brother and sister in law's house. We

164
00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:26,560
Speaker 1: do this every year. She immediately said, you know, I

165
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:30,800
Speaker 1: don't like this. I said yes. She then said good morning,

166
00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:33,959
Speaker 1: and I left for college. Who said that though I

167
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:35,559
Speaker 1: think beyond Leah?

168
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:36,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so?

169
00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:37,920
Speaker 1: Okay, gotcha?

170
00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:39,120
Speaker 2: And which one's Bee? Again?

171
00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:40,120
Speaker 1: Be's the girlfriend?

172
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,079
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I think op. He was saying, Bee is

173
00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:44,320
Speaker 2: going to come stay with us and Leon was like,

174
00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:46,520
Speaker 2: I don't like death and op he said okay.

175
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:51,000
Speaker 1: Ohpi said yes. The next morning, I was eating before

176
00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:54,120
Speaker 1: going to work and Leah started talking about it. We

177
00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:58,079
Speaker 1: started a conversation that developed into a fight. She said

178
00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:01,640
Speaker 1: things like how dare I notify? How that's not how

179
00:09:01,679 --> 00:09:04,400
Speaker 1: things work, and that it would not happen because they,

180
00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:07,839
Speaker 1: meaning she and James don't feel comfortable with this. How

181
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:11,160
Speaker 1: they think Luke wouldn't like this because no one likes

182
00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:14,760
Speaker 1: to have people over for a week. He and Lilah

183
00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:17,600
Speaker 1: were super pumped for me to go. How they don't

184
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:20,120
Speaker 1: know my girlfriend enough. Come on, we had been dating

185
00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:22,680
Speaker 1: for over a year already. How they wouldn't like me

186
00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:26,080
Speaker 1: going with her to a stranger's house in complete disregard

187
00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:29,040
Speaker 1: to my point of view. It's my freaking brother, whom

188
00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:31,000
Speaker 1: they met a couple of times, by the way, not

189
00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:33,560
Speaker 1: a stranger. But to them, the only meaningful point of

190
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:34,320
Speaker 1: view was theirs.

191
00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:36,800
Speaker 2: Why did they get any Sam? This like, it's not

192
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:39,000
Speaker 2: their house? How did they get any Sam? Well?

193
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:40,640
Speaker 1: Because it's there so important?

194
00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:42,239
Speaker 2: They're so important, opu.

195
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:44,000
Speaker 1: Are Their point of view is the only one that mets.

196
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:46,400
Speaker 2: Twenty two years old, just say okay bye, yep.

197
00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:48,600
Speaker 1: Oh you don't like it. Dang. Oh are you you're

198
00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:50,640
Speaker 1: dating a woman? Oh no, you're with your husband?

199
00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:53,439
Speaker 2: Right? Are you? Are you housing my girlfriend? Oh right, no,

200
00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:54,120
Speaker 2: that's my brother.

201
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:55,720
Speaker 1: Yeah. So none of this has anything to do They

202
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:57,920
Speaker 1: really has nothing to do with you. Oh that's crazy.

203
00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:59,640
Speaker 1: You should like to shut your mouth.

204
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,640
Speaker 2: This is what you're doing, This is what I want

205
00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:03,199
Speaker 2: to do.

206
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:06,840
Speaker 1: She had even called my brother to basically check my story,

207
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,200
Speaker 1: like what are you doing. She also said that we

208
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:14,120
Speaker 1: were only teenagers. Seriously, twenty two and twenty here. I said, no,

209
00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:16,880
Speaker 1: she isn't, and neither am I. She said she didn't

210
00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:20,240
Speaker 1: say bee was. I then said, oh, neither of my

211
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,800
Speaker 1: and she said I was because I didn't act like

212
00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:24,920
Speaker 1: an adult. Then I got mad and talked about how

213
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:27,520
Speaker 1: I do literally everything around the house. I always walk

214
00:10:27,559 --> 00:10:29,880
Speaker 1: the dogs, even when I get home tired at ten pm,

215
00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:33,120
Speaker 1: even though they got there at seven pm. I hope

216
00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:35,560
Speaker 1: with grocery purchases. I pay the water bill, I clean

217
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:38,440
Speaker 1: the house, I do the chores her boys don't do.

218
00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:41,640
Speaker 1: And when I'm not home, I'm either at work or college.

219
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:44,200
Speaker 1: But when she disagrees about something, she just puts me

220
00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:46,960
Speaker 1: back in the teenager box. In the end, she said

221
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:50,040
Speaker 1: that my raising was not like this. This made me

222
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:53,079
Speaker 1: laugh in anger inside. She's been with me for five

223
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:56,200
Speaker 1: years and I'm twenty. So that was it. I left

224
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,280
Speaker 1: for work and got a text from her apologizing for

225
00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:01,200
Speaker 1: being rough, saying that she me and wanted to work

226
00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:04,000
Speaker 1: it out. That they wanted to talk to me when

227
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:07,160
Speaker 1: I got home. I replied, saying the same. Later that day,

228
00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:09,839
Speaker 1: when we were all home, we gathered in the living room.

229
00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:15,400
Speaker 1: I was literally against the wall and intimidated deeply. James

230
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,680
Speaker 1: started saying how much they loved me and wanted to

231
00:11:17,679 --> 00:11:20,720
Speaker 1: see me happy, as they want that for all their children.

232
00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:24,760
Speaker 1: Aunt Lee has two boys, my cousin, and James has

233
00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:28,800
Speaker 1: three girls. I then talked and expressed how I was feeling.

234
00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:33,120
Speaker 1: Then Leah started talking and basically said, in a nicer tone,

235
00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:36,520
Speaker 1: the same things she had said earlier, plus how they

236
00:11:36,559 --> 00:11:38,480
Speaker 1: want me to be happy and want things to work

237
00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:41,160
Speaker 1: for me, but they think it's too soon. They believe

238
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:45,160
Speaker 1: it's not the right time they and therefore, despite being

239
00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:48,840
Speaker 1: against what they want, I could take b but only

240
00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:52,040
Speaker 1: in one of the two holidays which I could choose. Hey,

241
00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:55,720
Speaker 1: I'm gonna choose both of you to mind your own business,

242
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,760
Speaker 1: because this is none of your business.

243
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:58,960
Speaker 2: It's none of your business.

244
00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:02,120
Speaker 1: No, only worked it out, and we decided we'll be

245
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,160
Speaker 1: okay with you to bring her to one holiday.

246
00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:06,520
Speaker 2: Oh that's nice. I'm gonna bring her to both, bring

247
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:07,480
Speaker 2: her both holidays?

248
00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:10,320
Speaker 1: What wing? Oh? But she was only supposed to be

249
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,280
Speaker 1: if a one. Oops, Now she's here for two. What

250
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:13,800
Speaker 1: are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do?

251
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,640
Speaker 2: Oh? She gets who shut up? Didn't realize she was coming.

252
00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:19,000
Speaker 1: They're gonna whisper about it in my corner, and I'm

253
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,480
Speaker 1: gonna say about it. I don't care.

254
00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:22,920
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say. I can't hear you because you're whispering.

255
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:25,000
Speaker 1: Yes, mumbler, what do you mumble? Rumbler?

256
00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:25,520
Speaker 2: Speak up?

257
00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:27,760
Speaker 1: Really mustn't mumbl her. I'm getting back to the story.

258
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,840
Speaker 1: I was in a bit of a shock. You see,

259
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:33,360
Speaker 1: B and I had bought a bus ticket a while earlier.

260
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,760
Speaker 1: I had no support and I was against the wall.

261
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,840
Speaker 1: I was feeling pure defeat and I was tired. I

262
00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:42,559
Speaker 1: only said Christmas. Then. She then said we would sleep

263
00:12:42,559 --> 00:12:44,280
Speaker 1: in separate rooms and would not go on the twenty

264
00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:46,600
Speaker 1: second after work because she had already allowed an extra

265
00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:48,959
Speaker 1: night by allowing her to stay there until the twenty fifth.

266
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:52,280
Speaker 1: I stayed in silence. They asked if there was anything

267
00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:54,840
Speaker 1: I'd like to add, and I said no. It wasn't

268
00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:58,160
Speaker 1: a conversation. At no moment did they actually listen and

269
00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:00,960
Speaker 1: consider me. They had their mindset way before we had

270
00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:03,079
Speaker 1: sat down to talk. I went to my room and

271
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:07,960
Speaker 1: rolled all night in pure anxiety. This was Thursday. Friday.

272
00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:10,200
Speaker 1: I was a wreck and went to Bee's house to

273
00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:12,960
Speaker 1: check on her. She was sick that week and to

274
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,600
Speaker 1: talk to her about what had happened. She noticed something

275
00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:18,199
Speaker 1: was off and I told her she got mad, sad,

276
00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:21,640
Speaker 1: We cried, et cetera. I went home feeling awful. My

277
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:24,280
Speaker 1: anxiety had been one hundred percent all day long, and

278
00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:28,040
Speaker 1: I was in a really bad place, feeling deeply frustrated. Saturday,

279
00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:31,320
Speaker 1: I woke up worse and decided that I had enough

280
00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:35,320
Speaker 1: and I was not having that anymore. I went outside

281
00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:38,320
Speaker 1: and called my granddad. I talked about how I wasn't

282
00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:40,760
Speaker 1: feeling well and asked what he thought about me leaving home.

283
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:43,080
Speaker 1: He said that their doors were always open and that

284
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,719
Speaker 1: I could just tell my aunt that I was going

285
00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:47,080
Speaker 1: to live with my granddad and that was that. I

286
00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:50,080
Speaker 1: reframed the question, asking what he thought about me leaving

287
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:53,200
Speaker 1: to live alone. He then got worried and said he

288
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,839
Speaker 1: didn't think that was necessary, that I had them and

289
00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:56,720
Speaker 1: didn't need to do that.

290
00:13:57,120 --> 00:14:00,160
Speaker 2: Feels like they're all kind of like babying meal, Like

291
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:02,960
Speaker 2: they're all very worried about you because you lost your parents,

292
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:04,679
Speaker 2: and they all want to be there for you, but

293
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:06,960
Speaker 2: like not really. I mean, you are twenty. That is young,

294
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:09,640
Speaker 2: of course, and I understand why they would want to

295
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,360
Speaker 2: be there for you, but they all still think that

296
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:13,240
Speaker 2: they have like some sort of control over your life,

297
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:13,840
Speaker 2: which is weird.

298
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,360
Speaker 1: And let the truth set you free.

299
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:18,040
Speaker 2: The thing is, I don't think you like normal circumstances,

300
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:19,480
Speaker 2: but have to let them know. But I think because

301
00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:21,960
Speaker 2: your aunt would probably tell them if you went to

302
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:22,440
Speaker 2: live with them.

303
00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:24,720
Speaker 1: He then asked me to come over and talk to

304
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:28,680
Speaker 1: him and Aunt Rachel. I accepted and told Leah i'd

305
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:31,920
Speaker 1: sleep at granddad's. I got there and ate a bit

306
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,920
Speaker 1: because I didn't want them extra worried. Although I felt

307
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:37,840
Speaker 1: like throwing up at every bite, everyone went to sleep,

308
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:40,440
Speaker 1: so did I. I woke up a bit later feeling worse,

309
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:43,320
Speaker 1: and that's when I started to throw up. There's barely

310
00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:45,760
Speaker 1: anything in my stomach, and all I could do was

311
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:48,080
Speaker 1: to throw up. The next morning, I was better and

312
00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:50,360
Speaker 1: had already told aunt Rachel about what had happened. She

313
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:52,960
Speaker 1: found it absurd how things went. She had met Bee

314
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,200
Speaker 1: a while back and they clicked very well, and was

315
00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:58,160
Speaker 1: upset about the things Aunt Lea had said. I decided

316
00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:00,600
Speaker 1: to talk to Granddad. Couldn't avoid this u object again,

317
00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:02,840
Speaker 1: especially now that he was so worried sick about me.

318
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,920
Speaker 1: So I sat on the couch and told him what

319
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:09,160
Speaker 1: was happening. I explained everything, told him that I'm like

320
00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:11,440
Speaker 1: his stepson's mother in law.

321
00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:14,200
Speaker 3: She's married to a woman. It was the easiest way

322
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:17,160
Speaker 3: I found to introduce the topic, and I told him everything.

323
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:19,880
Speaker 3: He asked what I wanted him to do about it.

324
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,560
Speaker 3: I said that I just wanted him to still love

325
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,080
Speaker 3: me the same and remain normal with me.

326
00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:27,400
Speaker 2: She's like grey Dad, I'm by and he's like, okay, wen'st.

327
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,600
Speaker 1: Me about that? Are you asking me to fix that?

328
00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:34,200
Speaker 1: I don't know all about that, and that I'm still

329
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,840
Speaker 1: the same person and have always been this way. He

330
00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:39,000
Speaker 1: just didn't know about it. And that changes nothing about me.

331
00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:42,120
Speaker 1: Aunt Rachel then joined us and asked what he was

332
00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,720
Speaker 1: thinking about it. She knows everything and is amazing to me.

333
00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:46,800
Speaker 1: He said he wasn't pleased, but that it was my

334
00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:48,720
Speaker 1: life and he had no say in it. He said

335
00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:51,240
Speaker 1: I should do what's right for me, but basically he

336
00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:54,480
Speaker 1: got much more worried about my mental health instead of

337
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:57,960
Speaker 1: my spicy proclivities. He said that the doors were still

338
00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:00,320
Speaker 1: open and always would be for me. That he thought

339
00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:02,280
Speaker 1: I needed a home and thinks they can offer me that.

340
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:05,400
Speaker 1: Aunt Rachel said that they wouldn't be obsessive after me,

341
00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:08,280
Speaker 1: demanding to know every step I take and bossing everything

342
00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:11,080
Speaker 1: like Leah did. She said that I have my graduation,

343
00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:13,720
Speaker 1: I work, make my own money, I'm responsible, have my

344
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:15,720
Speaker 1: own life, and I'm not a child. I'm a twenty

345
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,920
Speaker 1: year old adult and they would treat me as such.

346
00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:21,240
Speaker 1: So that was it. I went back home much more

347
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:24,480
Speaker 1: confident and waited until nightfall because everyone was having a

348
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:27,040
Speaker 1: good time and I didn't want to spoil that. I

349
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:30,480
Speaker 1: realized aunt Leah and James were awake and went to

350
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:33,320
Speaker 1: talk to them, and that, my friends, is when the

351
00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:38,440
Speaker 1: gates evac were open. I started by saying I talked

352
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:43,200
Speaker 1: to my granddad about Be and my you know, spicy proclivities.

353
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:45,520
Speaker 1: Leah asked me how it went, and I said it

354
00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:48,320
Speaker 1: was great. Then I said they could talk to him

355
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:51,160
Speaker 1: since they wanted to decide with him about my going.

356
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:54,840
Speaker 1: She said okay and asked when I wanted to go.

357
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:56,760
Speaker 1: I said that it could be in the same week

358
00:16:56,880 --> 00:17:00,640
Speaker 1: since I was on vacation from college. She frowned, stood firmly,

359
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:03,120
Speaker 1: and said, you know this won't change our decision about

360
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:05,960
Speaker 1: the holidays. Right then it went boom. I said I

361
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,040
Speaker 1: didn't agree with them and that it wasn't right for

362
00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:10,840
Speaker 1: them to dictate such things. I told them their values

363
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:13,399
Speaker 1: and beliefs don't have to be mine, and Leah asked

364
00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:17,159
Speaker 1: why not, I replied, because I have my own. I

365
00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:19,480
Speaker 1: told them they were controlling and they made their kids

366
00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:23,119
Speaker 1: lie to them since they liked to compare raisings, and

367
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:26,520
Speaker 1: they criticized Bee's mom raising because she gives her kids

368
00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:29,320
Speaker 1: freedom to live their lives and fully trust them. I

369
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,000
Speaker 1: went on to say how Bee and her mom have

370
00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:34,040
Speaker 1: an amazing relationship full of love and trust. Be turned

371
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:37,000
Speaker 1: out great, works hard, and just made it to psychology

372
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:40,720
Speaker 1: at university helps immensely at home, and so has her sister.

373
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:44,920
Speaker 1: As for their kids, they raised their kids poorly. They're

374
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:47,679
Speaker 1: overbearing and that makes their kids not trust them and

375
00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:51,359
Speaker 1: lie a lot because of this necessity to control everything.

376
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:54,399
Speaker 1: I stated that the raising they gave their children was

377
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:57,399
Speaker 1: not my own, that I had multiple raisings, and that no,

378
00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:00,200
Speaker 1: they didn't raise me. I'm twenty. They've been with me

379
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:03,880
Speaker 1: for five years. I said that was clear. Just look

380
00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:06,600
Speaker 1: at the difference between me and her boys. I won't

381
00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:09,199
Speaker 1: delve into this bit because it's not relevant, but the

382
00:18:09,359 --> 00:18:12,720
Speaker 1: difference is clear. They said I couldn't take no for

383
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:15,320
Speaker 1: an answer and that it was my dad's fault. I

384
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:17,360
Speaker 1: said they didn't know what they were talking about. It's

385
00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:20,639
Speaker 1: them who can't take no for an answer. Yeah, they're like,

386
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:23,199
Speaker 1: we actually control your life. Opie says no, nig oh,

387
00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:25,320
Speaker 1: but we do. And Opie says, no, you don't. I

388
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:28,119
Speaker 1: know how it actually went. While they made a full

389
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,639
Speaker 1: story in their heads and believe that was the truth,

390
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:32,520
Speaker 1: I knew how my dad used to tell my family

391
00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:35,760
Speaker 1: one thing and do another. They again said they wouldn't

392
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:38,159
Speaker 1: treat me like an adult because I did nothing to

393
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,840
Speaker 1: behave like one. I said that they didn't treat me

394
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,080
Speaker 1: as I deserved, and they would always put me in

395
00:18:43,119 --> 00:18:45,679
Speaker 1: the teenager box whenever I acted differently from what they

396
00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:46,320
Speaker 1: thought was right.

397
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:47,600
Speaker 2: Get out of the box.

398
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:48,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, let me out of the box.

399
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:49,920
Speaker 2: Let me in the box.

400
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:53,159
Speaker 1: But I was adult enough to lend James almost one

401
00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:55,960
Speaker 1: thousand dollars without Leah's knowledge. What is going on?

402
00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:57,800
Speaker 2: Let's go on with your cousins?

403
00:18:57,920 --> 00:18:58,880
Speaker 1: What is going on?

404
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:02,920
Speaker 2: Like a lot about their secrets? Are they like were wolves?

405
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:04,840
Speaker 1: No, they're wolf cousins.

406
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,920
Speaker 2: I was gonna bring up an anime, but I won't

407
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:07,560
Speaker 2: keep going.

408
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:10,720
Speaker 1: She obviously tried to blame Bee, saying she was putting

409
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:12,879
Speaker 1: things in my head and that the last conversation was

410
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:16,240
Speaker 1: fine and now I'm throwing a fit. I said that

411
00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:19,560
Speaker 1: I said nothing else then because I felt cornered and

412
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:23,400
Speaker 1: realized it wasn't a conversation, it was them simulating one

413
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,479
Speaker 1: only to tell me what they were going to do

414
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:28,639
Speaker 1: all along. I told them they didn't know Bee because

415
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:31,680
Speaker 1: they didn't want to, and I wasn't comfortable bringing her

416
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:35,320
Speaker 1: as it was an environment unwelcoming to her. She then asked,

417
00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:36,680
Speaker 1: what are you giggling?

418
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:40,840
Speaker 2: Skim be a Bee, you can live thirty years.

419
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:43,879
Speaker 1: She then asked if I would go another year like

420
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:45,680
Speaker 1: this until I felt comfortable.

421
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:48,440
Speaker 2: I'm sorry she's saying. She's like, oh, I actually would

422
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:51,480
Speaker 2: prefer if you didn't bring your girlfriend, cause it just

423
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:55,000
Speaker 2: makes me uncomfortable when I see a woman, because I'm

424
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:58,440
Speaker 2: in love with women too, and I get jealous. I'm

425
00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:01,600
Speaker 2: inserting this new story. Yeah, yeah, that aunt.

426
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:04,080
Speaker 1: Leah is like, I actually like your girlfriend.

427
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:07,760
Speaker 2: I actually like you're the girlfriend I'm jealous of you.

428
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:10,159
Speaker 1: I said, yes, if that's what it took, that I

429
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:12,680
Speaker 1: didn't really need to introduce anyone if I didn't feel

430
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:16,760
Speaker 1: comfortable doing so. Leah once demanded to meet Bee after

431
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:19,920
Speaker 1: throwing a fit at my birthday because Be planned a

432
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,520
Speaker 1: day for me and my mother in law wanted to

433
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:27,240
Speaker 1: make me lunch and they weren't invited. It was super uncomfortable.

434
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:31,760
Speaker 1: My aunt described this day as uncomfortable in this argument,

435
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:34,959
Speaker 1: I said, how about that day you guys met Bee

436
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:38,959
Speaker 1: and her mom. Wasn't it uncomfortable? Of course it was.

437
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:41,399
Speaker 1: I told you it would be. I told you that

438
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:45,760
Speaker 1: was barging in and no one wanted it. Leah said that, no,

439
00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:49,280
Speaker 1: that wasn't the uncomfortable part. The uncomfortable part was how

440
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:52,399
Speaker 1: Bee was daring her being all over me and kissing

441
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:55,040
Speaker 1: me in front of her, that she had to be respected.

442
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:58,760
Speaker 2: Dude, I bet a thousand freakin' dollars that Be and

443
00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:01,800
Speaker 2: O Pete went my oh hey, and that's it. It's

444
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,480
Speaker 2: just like you were all over each other.

445
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:08,480
Speaker 1: I started hearing the kill bill. The we with the

446
00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:11,760
Speaker 1: alarm sound being all over me was me shaking from

447
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:13,720
Speaker 1: the anxiety, and Be holding me to keep me on

448
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:17,000
Speaker 1: my feet. The kissing was one greeting kiss, and Be

449
00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:20,560
Speaker 1: did nothing daring towards Leah. Believe me, if she had aunt,

450
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:23,280
Speaker 1: Leah would definitely know. At the end, they asked if

451
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:26,280
Speaker 1: I was taking Bee. I said yes. Leah said no,

452
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:28,440
Speaker 1: since she called my brother and told him how things

453
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:31,119
Speaker 1: would go down amazes me every time I remember this.

454
00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:33,600
Speaker 1: She wanted to dictate how the holidays would go in

455
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:36,920
Speaker 1: someone else's house. My brother was just texting me saying

456
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:38,960
Speaker 1: how Bee could go spend the whole holiday and we'd

457
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:41,440
Speaker 1: just say she left after Christmas. So it wasn't a

458
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:43,800
Speaker 1: very good argument on Leah's end. I said it was

459
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:45,840
Speaker 1: my business and I was sorry, but it was my

460
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:49,040
Speaker 1: brother my family, my relationship, my life, and it wasn't

461
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:51,719
Speaker 1: up for them to dictate. They shouldn't feel comfortable or

462
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:55,240
Speaker 1: uncomfortable since it had nothing to do with them.

463
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:57,280
Speaker 2: It's called nothing to do with you.

464
00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:59,800
Speaker 1: And that my family who mattered in this was not

465
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:04,000
Speaker 1: only comfortable, but very excited for Bee's presence. I told

466
00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:06,400
Speaker 1: him I knew I wasn't wrong since Granddad and Aunt

467
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:08,720
Speaker 1: Rachel agreed with me, so they could go ahead and

468
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:11,040
Speaker 1: talk to them if they wanted to. They ended up

469
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,800
Speaker 1: showing me their thumb and I left for my room.

470
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:18,639
Speaker 2: I just don't understand how like freaking aunt Leah Leliah

471
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:22,520
Speaker 2: Leah whatever can be just so like not accepting when

472
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:23,680
Speaker 2: the grandpa is accepting.

473
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:25,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that was her trump card. She was like,

474
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,240
Speaker 1: what's going to happen when your grandpa finds out about

475
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:29,399
Speaker 1: your ligial girlfriend?

476
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:31,800
Speaker 2: Then the grandpa finds out and he's like, Okay, don't

477
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:33,879
Speaker 2: quite understand it, but it's all right, And she's like,

478
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:35,879
Speaker 2: well you still can't go and hope He says, uh,

479
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:37,880
Speaker 2: you actually have no say over my life. Now.

480
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:40,440
Speaker 1: That is my favorite part of this story. Yeah, because Grandpa,

481
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:42,720
Speaker 1: I have a girlfriend and he goes, do you like

482
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,960
Speaker 1: need something for me though, like, do you is there

483
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,080
Speaker 1: a thing I should be doing about this?

484
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:49,080
Speaker 2: Do something?

485
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:52,360
Speaker 1: And she's like, no, no, I'm just telling you. He's like, oh, okay, well,

486
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:53,280
Speaker 1: I still love you.

487
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:54,359
Speaker 2: Don't quite understand it.

488
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:56,959
Speaker 1: But Grandma's like, I mean, how are you doing. He's like,

489
00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:59,280
Speaker 1: I don't know. I guess I don't. I don't know.

490
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:01,560
Speaker 2: He's like, I'm not into that.

491
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:04,800
Speaker 1: Aunt Leah left for granddad's house. Five minutes later cried

492
00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:07,320
Speaker 1: to him the whole works. She got back, went into

493
00:23:07,359 --> 00:23:10,399
Speaker 1: my room and in an ironic tone, said, sorry, I

494
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:14,200
Speaker 1: know I'm not your mother. Stay within your raisings. I'm

495
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:17,680
Speaker 1: just glad and relieved. My father wasn't as okay as

496
00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:20,240
Speaker 1: you thought. Her saying this seriously hurt me.

497
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,439
Speaker 2: She was like, I'm just glad he was a little

498
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:27,280
Speaker 2: bit annoyed. I'm just glad he wasn't fully on board.

499
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:30,560
Speaker 1: Like this woman is so annoying. I would full blown

500
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:32,440
Speaker 1: just be going blah la la la la. I would

501
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:36,199
Speaker 1: revert to childish tactics. Here you, I'd say what I

502
00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:38,919
Speaker 1: would do the chocolate, I'd say, are you mumbling? He

503
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:42,320
Speaker 1: accepted for reasons and beliefs he has so go ahead

504
00:23:42,359 --> 00:23:44,520
Speaker 1: and pack your bags this week. You're free to go.

505
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:47,360
Speaker 1: Sorry for the flaws. I was trying to get it right.

506
00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:50,640
Speaker 1: Be careful when you take that sticker off, don't ruin

507
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:53,080
Speaker 1: the painting. And she left, I don't care. I hope

508
00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:55,600
Speaker 1: you ruin it painting. I hope you rip it off

509
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:58,080
Speaker 1: the wall and you set it on fire. I condone

510
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:03,040
Speaker 1: Arson against this woman, not really, but I don't think

511
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:07,200
Speaker 1: you should be concerned at all with this woman's feelings anymore,

512
00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:09,240
Speaker 1: because she literally just went out of her way to

513
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:12,600
Speaker 1: try to turn the granddad against.

514
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:14,320
Speaker 2: You, like just hateful, hateful.

515
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:17,840
Speaker 1: Yes, okay. The next day, Granddad came and we took

516
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,920
Speaker 1: ninety percent of my stuff and I started officially living

517
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,600
Speaker 1: with him and Aunt Rachel. Christmas was a bit awkward.

518
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:26,680
Speaker 1: My maternal family does this early Christmas, so everyone's free

519
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:29,240
Speaker 1: on the twenty fourth, but I was glowing, feeling like

520
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:32,560
Speaker 1: the weight of the world had left my shoulders. So

521
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:35,320
Speaker 1: I went with Bee to spend the holidays with my family.

522
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:37,960
Speaker 1: My siblings, my sister in law's parents, and even my

523
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:41,880
Speaker 1: one year old nephew absolutely adored b They now ask

524
00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:46,240
Speaker 1: about her even before asking about me. My paternal grandmother

525
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:49,359
Speaker 1: loved her and was amazing. Told my aunt her daughter

526
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:52,280
Speaker 1: that Bee was adorable and loving. It was amazing and

527
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:55,959
Speaker 1: I cannot imagine twenty twenty three Christmas and New Year's

528
00:24:56,000 --> 00:25:00,440
Speaker 1: without Bee with us. She added so much. And by

529
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:04,480
Speaker 1: the way, I'm gonna add right here that you can

530
00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:07,880
Speaker 1: go listen to full episodes with stories just like this

531
00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:12,879
Speaker 1: on Spotify us, like this, Apple pod, cash on iHeart Radio,

532
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:16,800
Speaker 1: whatever you listen, just type okay story time into that

533
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:19,600
Speaker 1: little search bar, type it and then two thousand plus

534
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:21,760
Speaker 1: episodes you're gonna go bring right in your roat and

535
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:26,920
Speaker 1: you've got unlimited power. Now before we fin oh our little story,

536
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:29,720
Speaker 1: do we have anything to add?

537
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:32,560
Speaker 2: I think that you know who in your life supports you,

538
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,959
Speaker 2: and that just stick with those people. You don't have

539
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:38,720
Speaker 2: to like it sucks that your aunt isn't there for you,

540
00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:42,119
Speaker 2: but sometimes that's how it goes, and you just have

541
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:43,840
Speaker 2: to stick with the people that love you. And you

542
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:45,800
Speaker 2: know who that is, and that included girl friend.

543
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:48,440
Speaker 1: And she probably was like, you know, whatever she said,

544
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:51,240
Speaker 1: but like, well, it turns out your granddad wasn't really

545
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:53,160
Speaker 1: that cool with it. Whatever she said, and went over

546
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:56,000
Speaker 1: there and cried and wailed and moaned about didn't change

547
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:57,920
Speaker 1: his mind, that he's still gonna let you live there,

548
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:02,840
Speaker 1: and that he still loves you. Oh, who cares, she's gross.

549
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:03,200
Speaker 2: Yeah.

550
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:07,600
Speaker 1: Anyway, Recently we've been to Luke's and Elilah's at Easter

551
00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:10,720
Speaker 1: and made Easter eggs together, watched movies, we went out.

552
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:13,880
Speaker 1: We went to a family gathering where Bee, my uncle's cousins,

553
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:16,640
Speaker 1: and grandmother, who was really happy to see her since

554
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:19,000
Speaker 1: Bee couldn't go to her birthday because she had to work.

555
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:22,400
Speaker 1: All got along really well. We see each other frequently.

556
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:25,720
Speaker 1: Living with Granddad and Aunt Rachel has been amazing. I'm

557
00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:28,639
Speaker 1: finally gaming weight. Many people have noticed it, and it

558
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:31,040
Speaker 1: quite frankly scared me a bit. I had no idea

559
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:34,120
Speaker 1: it was so evident, but yeah, I'm doing great. Granddad

560
00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:37,200
Speaker 1: isn't ready to deal with this, so we don't talk

561
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:40,639
Speaker 1: about it. He doesn't like it, doesn't really understand, but

562
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,600
Speaker 1: he doesn't meddle. Grandma texted saying she wanted to meet

563
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:46,639
Speaker 1: Bee finally since she found out through Aunt Rachel that

564
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:48,879
Speaker 1: me and Bee are still together and going strong for

565
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:51,880
Speaker 1: one year and a half already. I think she's taking

566
00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:55,120
Speaker 1: it seriously. Anyways, it was a nightmare, but things turned

567
00:26:55,119 --> 00:26:57,160
Speaker 1: out all right. Thank you to the people who commented

568
00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:59,520
Speaker 1: on my first post. It was nice reading the comments

569
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:03,439
Speaker 1: and taking the options into consideration. And that is a

570
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:08,520
Speaker 1: beautiful end to that wonderful story. Oh yeah, something, you

571
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:10,760
Speaker 1: know what Sometimes I mean at twenty. I don't think

572
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:13,120
Speaker 1: I could have stood on business at twenty. It's hard

573
00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:16,760
Speaker 1: to stand on business at any age against family too.

574
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:20,320
Speaker 2: Write however, you did it, you did it with help.

575
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:22,280
Speaker 2: Well we did it, but you know most things are

576
00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:22,720
Speaker 2: done with help.

577
00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:25,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's nothing wrong with help. Hey, it's Sam, your

578
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:27,680
Speaker 1: og host here. We're gonna get back to the stories.

579
00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:29,720
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

580
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:33,840
Speaker 4: My daughter thinks her grandmother is deceased. Should I tell

581
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:34,399
Speaker 4: her the truth?

582
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:35,680
Speaker 1: Yeah? What?

583
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:39,320
Speaker 4: I female thirty three, have three daughters, six year old

584
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:42,240
Speaker 4: twins and a two year old. One of my twins

585
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:44,879
Speaker 4: over the holiday period said one of my friends that

586
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:48,359
Speaker 4: her mommy's mommy is in heaven. This really shocked me

587
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:50,680
Speaker 4: when I found out. By the way, this comes from

588
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,480
Speaker 4: Bandy x ox ninety one and if you want to

589
00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:55,680
Speaker 4: swing your own stories, go to our slish showcase story.

590
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:58,200
Speaker 4: Tom suff read it so for context I was out

591
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,240
Speaker 4: of the house when she said it to my friend

592
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:03,000
Speaker 4: on the phone. I had just nipped out to pick

593
00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:05,600
Speaker 4: up a family member who is coming up to us

594
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:08,359
Speaker 4: for Christmas Day. I found out when I was taking

595
00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:11,120
Speaker 4: my partner to work that day. Later in the evening,

596
00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:14,960
Speaker 4: my daughter began talking about her family, saying that her

597
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:19,840
Speaker 4: daddy's mommy and daddy lived far away, and that her

598
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:23,760
Speaker 4: daddy's mommy's mom lives far away. Did you not teach

599
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:26,560
Speaker 4: him where grandparents were or what the title that was?

600
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:29,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, what's going on here? This is this shouldn't even

601
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:30,840
Speaker 1: be a discussion.

602
00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:34,159
Speaker 4: It's to explain the only family we have close to

603
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:38,360
Speaker 4: her is mommy's nanny. My nan spoke up and asked her,

604
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:42,160
Speaker 4: what about your mummy's mom, to which my daughter came out, No,

605
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:43,480
Speaker 4: she's in heaven.

606
00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:44,440
Speaker 1: My nana would.

607
00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:47,280
Speaker 4: Suppress her a bit more about why she thought this,

608
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:51,320
Speaker 4: and I abruptly interrupted and asked my Nan to come

609
00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:53,680
Speaker 4: and help me with something in the kitchen. Well, now

610
00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:57,400
Speaker 4: my Nan has spoken to other family members and I've

611
00:28:57,440 --> 00:29:02,120
Speaker 4: had my phone blowing up with opinions. I have some

612
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:04,640
Speaker 4: family telling me I should tell my daughter the truth

613
00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:08,080
Speaker 4: and that her nan is not passed away. She is,

614
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:12,960
Speaker 4: in fact alive. She's just too busy, and I've had

615
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 4: others tell me that I should just leave it alone. FYI,

616
00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:20,920
Speaker 4: She's not too busy. She's unemployed, has no hobbies, and

617
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:24,080
Speaker 4: his home all day playing games on her tablet or phone.

618
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:27,600
Speaker 4: I have a very strange relationship with my mother. For background,

619
00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:30,800
Speaker 4: growing up, I ran away from home at fifteen. Her

620
00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:34,160
Speaker 4: actions towards me as a child giving me years of

621
00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:38,120
Speaker 4: body image issues, self esteem problems, and I'm trying to

622
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:40,840
Speaker 4: get over them. I'm in therapy for over how she

623
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:43,880
Speaker 4: treated me as a child. When I first had children,

624
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:47,000
Speaker 4: I was very much set on her having nothing to

625
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:49,880
Speaker 4: do with my children, but my nan convinced me to

626
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:53,160
Speaker 4: give her a chance. When my children were small, she

627
00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:56,200
Speaker 4: would make all the effort to go over and see them,

628
00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:59,320
Speaker 4: constantly wanting to be around them, giving them cuddles and

629
00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:02,240
Speaker 4: just show them lots of love. And they stopped being

630
00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:06,920
Speaker 4: such cute little babies, and the distance crept. And then

631
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:10,240
Speaker 4: I had my youngest, and again she was there. There

632
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:14,160
Speaker 4: was one incident that absolutely made my blood boil. My

633
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:16,840
Speaker 4: youngest was only a week old when we took her

634
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:19,480
Speaker 4: over to beat my nan and my mom was there,

635
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:22,480
Speaker 4: and after my nan had finished having a cuddle, my

636
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:25,480
Speaker 4: partner went to go and put my youngest back in

637
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:28,480
Speaker 4: her baby carrier, where my mother said it was her turn.

638
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:31,160
Speaker 4: The eldest of the twins was sat on her lap

639
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:33,760
Speaker 4: at the time. She said nothing to my daughter about

640
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:35,960
Speaker 4: wanting to have a cuddle with her new baby. Sister

641
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:38,920
Speaker 4: just pushed my daughter off her lap so she could

642
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:41,160
Speaker 4: hold the new baby. She was four at the time,

643
00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:45,200
Speaker 4: and she ran off in the kitchen rying her eyes out. Okay,

644
00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:48,680
Speaker 4: when I asked her what happened and what was wrong,

645
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:52,240
Speaker 4: I was furious. My partner came and confirmed what happened,

646
00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:54,920
Speaker 4: and my partner and my sister managed to stop me

647
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:57,840
Speaker 4: from going and ripping her head off. That was the

648
00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:01,760
Speaker 4: first time my daughter ever asked me why doesn't Nana

649
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:05,720
Speaker 4: love me? And my heart broke real quick. This makes

650
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:08,600
Speaker 4: sense why she's in heaven in your little girl's eyes.

651
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:11,320
Speaker 1: Starting to agree with that sentiment, Yeah, a little easier

652
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 1: to be like, oh, she's not here, other than like, well,

653
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:18,200
Speaker 1: the truth about Graham Graham is well, she's on the

654
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:18,880
Speaker 1: naughty list.

655
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:22,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, because that would be hard to think about as

656
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:22,720
Speaker 4: a kid.

657
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 1: Well, if you were gonna do anything. You could maybe

658
00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:27,760
Speaker 1: break it down like that, if y'all do Christmas and

659
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:30,320
Speaker 1: she knows Santa, you can just be like Grandma's on

660
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:31,920
Speaker 1: the naughty list, so we don't hang out with her.

661
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:34,120
Speaker 1: But then that might I don't know. This is really

662
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:34,760
Speaker 1: really hard.

663
00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:37,960
Speaker 4: This seems like the easy route, and it seems like, oh,

664
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:39,520
Speaker 4: this is best for everyone.

665
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:40,120
Speaker 1: AnyWho.

666
00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:43,080
Speaker 4: When my youngest third one, we moved away so that

667
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:45,680
Speaker 4: we could afford to give our children a better life.

668
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:49,880
Speaker 4: Since moving, she had even less to do with my children. Now,

669
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 4: she didn't want to call them on their birthdays, and

670
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:56,880
Speaker 4: over the fest of holidays, we've heard absolutely nothing from her,

671
00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:01,160
Speaker 4: No text, no calls. I speak to my sister regularly,

672
00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 4: so I know nothing bad has happened to my mother.

673
00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:06,720
Speaker 4: It's just that she can't be bothered to find out

674
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:10,240
Speaker 4: how her granddaughters are doing. My sister doesn't want children,

675
00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:13,600
Speaker 4: so my children are the only grandchildren for my mother.

676
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:16,040
Speaker 4: I guess what I'm asking is am I the a

677
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:18,480
Speaker 4: hole for not correcting my daughter when she said that

678
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:20,880
Speaker 4: her nan is passed away?

679
00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:22,200
Speaker 1: What she's like five?

680
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:23,200
Speaker 2: Right? Yeah?

681
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:23,680
Speaker 1: Six?

682
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:23,920
Speaker 2: Now?

683
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:25,400
Speaker 1: I think just get in front of it, dude, you

684
00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:28,160
Speaker 1: gotta fix it, but then also be like she's not gone,

685
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:33,120
Speaker 1: but like she doesn't like us. I don't know. It's

686
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:34,800
Speaker 1: how do you explain to a five year old that

687
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:38,600
Speaker 1: your mom or their grandma is like it's you can't.

688
00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:40,880
Speaker 4: Technically, I never said she was I just said she

689
00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:42,320
Speaker 4: was in a better place and that place was not

690
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:42,800
Speaker 4: near us.

691
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:45,360
Speaker 2: Oh you got me, Mommy, you twick me.

692
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:46,480
Speaker 1: I understand that.

693
00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:49,480
Speaker 4: To add, I have never said to my children that

694
00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:50,640
Speaker 4: my mother's passed away.

695
00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 1: We just don't speak about her.

696
00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:55,080
Speaker 4: I've left the lines of communication open for her to

697
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:57,280
Speaker 4: reach out since we moved. I used to try calling

698
00:32:57,280 --> 00:33:00,640
Speaker 4: her regularly, but she would rarely answer, so I stopped

699
00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:02,680
Speaker 4: calling her. She never calls.

700
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:05,600
Speaker 1: Spiracy conspiracy conspiracy conspiracy Mom is on the phone talking

701
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:09,320
Speaker 1: to somebody. Blah blah blah blah blah. She's me, little kid.

702
00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:11,800
Speaker 1: Here's when was that? Was that? That is true? He

703
00:33:12,040 --> 00:33:15,120
Speaker 1: kid eavesdrops? They all do you eavesdropped as a child.

704
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:17,840
Speaker 1: We got an update keon what do you grandma, dad

705
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:20,680
Speaker 1: or not? Just lie to your kid, like if the

706
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:23,600
Speaker 1: grandma sucks, I don't want my child and near that

707
00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:26,920
Speaker 1: person and being inspired by that person. If you lie

708
00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:29,000
Speaker 1: to your kids about Sanna can lie to your kids

709
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,240
Speaker 1: about Grandma? What do you mean by that? Santa's real?

710
00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:34,720
Speaker 1: That's the lie. Sanna's real. O. That's like a fear

711
00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:36,520
Speaker 1: I have of accidentally doing that.

712
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 4: Well, my phone blew up with loads comments and thank

713
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:42,959
Speaker 4: you for everyone's advice. I saw my daughter down and

714
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:45,920
Speaker 4: tried to explain that her Non has not passed away,

715
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:49,280
Speaker 4: that we live really far away and sometimes people get

716
00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:52,040
Speaker 4: a little busy and don't realize how much time has

717
00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:55,360
Speaker 4: gone by. She got very upset, and she couldn't understand

718
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,640
Speaker 4: how someone could be so busy that they never call

719
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:00,520
Speaker 4: and never answer the phone. I did have a conversation

720
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:03,440
Speaker 4: with my mother via non. I was around my non

721
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 4: when my mother called her. The conversation that begone with

722
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:10,520
Speaker 4: my Non was basically saying how I'm an awful person

723
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:13,520
Speaker 4: and a terrible parent. My non shut her down, told

724
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:15,920
Speaker 4: her I was there, told her to talk to me.

725
00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:19,319
Speaker 4: Non handed me the phone, and my mother proceeded to

726
00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:22,759
Speaker 4: just blow up at me, started saying things like, how

727
00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:26,880
Speaker 4: dare you tell my children she's passed away? How dare

728
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,800
Speaker 4: I move her and take her baby so far away?

729
00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:33,080
Speaker 4: How dare I keep them from her? I raised my

730
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:37,680
Speaker 4: voice speaking over her. Get your facts straight. I moved

731
00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 4: to give my children a better life. I have never

732
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:45,040
Speaker 4: stopped her from making contact. She is the one who

733
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:48,759
Speaker 4: never picks up and that phone works both ways. I

734
00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:51,600
Speaker 4: never told them she passed away, But what does she

735
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:56,560
Speaker 4: expect when she makes zero effort with them? I reminded

736
00:34:56,600 --> 00:35:00,040
Speaker 4: her that even when we did live close, she she

737
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:03,040
Speaker 4: never made an effort to see them. Heck, my nod

738
00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:05,319
Speaker 4: would have them five days in a week when I

739
00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:08,000
Speaker 4: finished maternity leaf so I could go to work, and

740
00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:12,000
Speaker 4: she live literally around the corner. She never even bothered

741
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 4: to go see them. Yeah, I have a grandma that like,

742
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:16,520
Speaker 4: if you want to visit her has been her timing,

743
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:18,759
Speaker 4: not your timing, And it's really hard. One time I

744
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:20,440
Speaker 4: had to get together that was like five minutes away

745
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:22,399
Speaker 4: from her, but it wasn't her time. Wasn't her time?

746
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:24,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then she hasn't tried to make it guilty though,

747
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:26,360
Speaker 1: right does she own it that it has to be

748
00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:26,840
Speaker 1: her time?

749
00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:29,840
Speaker 4: My thought is like she's older, she has like CPD

750
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:32,279
Speaker 4: or whatever COPD Yeah that thing.

751
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:34,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, it's really hard to do anything when you

752
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:35,320
Speaker 1: have COPD your lungs.

753
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:38,799
Speaker 4: She gets like really excited, so like, I understand it

754
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:40,879
Speaker 4: does suck on my grandma. I'm like right down the road,

755
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:43,239
Speaker 4: but I'm like, I'll just do whatever. You're too old.

756
00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:46,239
Speaker 4: My thought is like, am I gonna make something out

757
00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:48,560
Speaker 4: of this? That's not she's older. I'm just gonna see

758
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:51,280
Speaker 4: her my nod moves so she could enjoy her retirement

759
00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:53,799
Speaker 4: and comfort, and I moved to give my babies a

760
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:57,200
Speaker 4: better life. My mother lost it. She screamed down the phone.

761
00:35:57,400 --> 00:35:58,640
Speaker 4: You in my life.

762
00:35:58,960 --> 00:35:59,680
Speaker 1: All you've ever.

763
00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:02,000
Speaker 4: Done is her win my life. I brought you into

764
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:04,279
Speaker 4: this world. I can take you out of it. It's

765
00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:07,399
Speaker 4: a shame I've not been successful in the latter. Yes,

766
00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:10,000
Speaker 4: you read that right. My mother has attempted in the

767
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:13,160
Speaker 4: past to take me out. Her last attempt was a

768
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:16,359
Speaker 4: glass in my Peebe and Jay, but that's a whole

769
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:19,319
Speaker 4: nother story. Her attempts have always been something that can

770
00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:22,239
Speaker 4: be passed off as an accident. Okay, girlfriend, I think

771
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:24,560
Speaker 4: grandmother is in heaven and she's in a better place,

772
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:26,520
Speaker 4: and we're gonna have nothing to do with her. If

773
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:28,759
Speaker 4: she's gonna do that to her own daughter, who says

774
00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:29,440
Speaker 4: she's gonna stop with.

775
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:32,600
Speaker 1: Her grandbabies, right, exactly. It's once she's making like actual

776
00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:36,400
Speaker 1: threats of physical harm. Grandma's in the beyond place.

777
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:39,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, she's burning. I mean in a better place.

778
00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:41,239
Speaker 1: Yea grandma go to heaven. No.

779
00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:44,600
Speaker 4: After the glass incident, I win no contact. But when

780
00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:47,080
Speaker 4: I had children, I let my nan convince me that

781
00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:50,000
Speaker 4: she had changed. I let her back in, but she

782
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:52,759
Speaker 4: dips in and out of my children's lives. She has

783
00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:57,280
Speaker 4: even accidentally given my daughter foods she's allergic to. Again,

784
00:36:57,360 --> 00:37:00,759
Speaker 4: that's another story. We want low contact, and my mother

785
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:03,200
Speaker 4: was never allowed to be alone with my children. It's

786
00:37:03,239 --> 00:37:05,720
Speaker 4: been four months since she's called to speak to my children,

787
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:08,000
Speaker 4: and the last time I spoke to her was when

788
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 4: she called my non. My non handed me the phone.

789
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 4: That was last week at its ad. I was naive

790
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:16,160
Speaker 4: to believe that my mother was capable of changing. I

791
00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:18,359
Speaker 4: guess I just wanted to believe that maybe one day

792
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:21,040
Speaker 4: my mother would love me and that she would be

793
00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:23,839
Speaker 4: proud of me and my family. The only access she's

794
00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:26,840
Speaker 4: ever had was at a family member's home before we moved.

795
00:37:27,239 --> 00:37:30,560
Speaker 4: II if there was a family gathering and she was

796
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:33,719
Speaker 4: there the incident when she gave my daughter food she's

797
00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:36,960
Speaker 4: allergic to. She claims she didn't realize it contained the allergen.

798
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:40,160
Speaker 4: I believe it was an accident, as there were two

799
00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:45,160
Speaker 4: foods identical, one with and one without the allergen. But

800
00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:48,440
Speaker 4: after this, I put in very strict rules that only

801
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:50,960
Speaker 4: me or my partner could give my daughter any food

802
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:57,040
Speaker 4: at family gatherings. Yeah, I'm like really confused why this

803
00:37:57,160 --> 00:38:00,440
Speaker 4: wasn't brought up earlier. This point about the alley ursions.

804
00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:02,759
Speaker 4: She seems to like to do things with food, if

805
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:05,320
Speaker 4: you haven't noticed, Yeah, she's a danger.

806
00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:06,360
Speaker 1: To clarify.

807
00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:09,480
Speaker 4: The only contact she had after removed were phone and

808
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:13,320
Speaker 4: video calls, which slowly stopped when she stopped calling and answering.

809
00:38:13,719 --> 00:38:16,120
Speaker 4: Only called if my children asked to talk to her.

810
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:18,560
Speaker 4: But we want to talk to you right after this story.

811
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:20,080
Speaker 4: All you got to do is go to your favorite

812
00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 4: freaking podcast platform, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio app and search

813
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:26,960
Speaker 4: up these beautiful.

814
00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:28,759
Speaker 1: Words okay, story time.

815
00:38:28,719 --> 00:38:32,080
Speaker 4: And there we will stay in contact in harmony for

816
00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:33,400
Speaker 4: fifty three days straight.

817
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:35,600
Speaker 1: Actually I think it's like fifty eight till right the

818
00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:37,160
Speaker 1: pug told us our math was different.

819
00:38:37,239 --> 00:38:39,359
Speaker 4: I'm just gonna finish the story. My nan has never

820
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:42,120
Speaker 4: wanted to believe that her daughter would be capable of

821
00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:44,640
Speaker 4: the thing she has done to me. Well, now my

822
00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:48,279
Speaker 4: nan is seventy four, and her mind isn't quiet all

823
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:50,600
Speaker 4: there anymore. And if you want to know what I mean,

824
00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:53,520
Speaker 4: I've tried to tell her of I suffered as a child,

825
00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:58,200
Speaker 4: both physically, emotionally and mentally. I try to explain the

826
00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:01,160
Speaker 4: times she has attempted to take take me out, and

827
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:03,560
Speaker 4: I saw how much it broke my non. I don't

828
00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:05,799
Speaker 4: want to keep telling her how often her daughter is

829
00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:09,600
Speaker 4: so for now, rather than breaking my Non's heart, I've

830
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:12,600
Speaker 4: opted to keep contact lines open in as far as

831
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:15,960
Speaker 4: my mother calls me, I'll answer. When on passes, I

832
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:18,520
Speaker 4: will close that contact down and I will remove my

833
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:20,480
Speaker 4: psychotic mother run my life.

834
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:22,920
Speaker 1: Wow, what a day that'll be. That will be a

835
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:26,520
Speaker 1: sad day. Well hey, well dang. Honestly, at the very

836
00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:28,000
Speaker 1: beginning of the story, I was like, oh, yeah, ope,

837
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,600
Speaker 1: he's about to be wrong. Should I tell my daughter

838
00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 1: that her grandma's still alive instead of not? I'm like,

839
00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:37,399
Speaker 1: well yeah, But now I'm like, hey, don't let your

840
00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:40,839
Speaker 1: grandma take you out. Don't let yeah, don't come on this,

841
00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:42,640
Speaker 1: she's nefarious.

842
00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:47,400
Speaker 2: My boyfriend told me that he's married days before I

843
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:48,240
Speaker 2: give birth.

844
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:51,560
Speaker 1: How many days did he just get married?

845
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:54,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, we've been together for two years, but he lives

846
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:56,719
Speaker 2: in a different city. When I got pregnant, he said

847
00:39:56,800 --> 00:39:58,719
Speaker 2: he was gonna move to my city and we would

848
00:39:58,719 --> 00:40:01,520
Speaker 2: move in together. He just to finalize some things with

849
00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:03,440
Speaker 2: his ex wife, like your marriage.

850
00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:06,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have to make her my ex wife.

851
00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:09,960
Speaker 2: She's not yet my ex wife, but like theoretically, like

852
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:12,040
Speaker 2: in my heart. He told me he was divorced when

853
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:14,759
Speaker 2: we met, and I never had any reason to question it.

854
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:16,480
Speaker 2: I knew that he had two kids with her as well.

855
00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:18,960
Speaker 2: He told me the truth about that, just not that

856
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:22,440
Speaker 2: he wasn't divorced or even separated. By the way, this

857
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:24,759
Speaker 2: comes from throwaway. I don't know what to say, and

858
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:26,360
Speaker 2: if you want to submit your own stories, got r

859
00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:30,560
Speaker 2: slash Okay, storytime separate. Fast forward. I'm thirty nine weeks

860
00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:34,400
Speaker 2: and he suddenly got uncommunicative, which is less than ideal

861
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:36,960
Speaker 2: when you're literally about to give birth. Bear in mind

862
00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:39,400
Speaker 2: that he was supposed to have been fully moved in

863
00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:42,480
Speaker 2: here a month ago. Blame the VID. Today I found

864
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:45,600
Speaker 2: out I'm going to be induced on Monday, unless baby

865
00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:48,200
Speaker 2: decides to come out over the weekend. So I contacted

866
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:51,000
Speaker 2: him and I was like, Okay, what's going on? And

867
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:53,680
Speaker 2: that's when he told me that he isn't actually separated

868
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:57,040
Speaker 2: or divorced. He never told his wife about anything, and

869
00:40:57,080 --> 00:40:59,080
Speaker 2: now he felt like he was backed into a corner.

870
00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:01,239
Speaker 2: I don't feel sorry ry for that, because that's his

871
00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:04,439
Speaker 2: own fault. But obviously, literally four days before giving birth

872
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:06,200
Speaker 2: isn't the time you want to get this news. And

873
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:08,359
Speaker 2: I have no idea what to do now. Tell him

874
00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:11,360
Speaker 2: to f off, obviously, but what else I feel like.

875
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:14,160
Speaker 2: I mean, I can take care of the baby, but

876
00:41:14,239 --> 00:41:16,040
Speaker 2: I was preparing to have a partner to take care

877
00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:17,920
Speaker 2: of it with me. You know, I don't even know

878
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:20,720
Speaker 2: what I'm asking for in terms of advice, but any

879
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:24,759
Speaker 2: advice for moving forward and handling this is appreciated, and

880
00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:28,200
Speaker 2: there are some relevant comments. Lucy and Blood March says

881
00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:31,000
Speaker 2: lawyer the f up, get DNA tests, make sure he

882
00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:33,600
Speaker 2: pays you what he owes you. This is horrible and

883
00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:35,719
Speaker 2: I'm so so sorry he did this crap. He had

884
00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:37,880
Speaker 2: no right. Do you have anybody else that can be

885
00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:40,960
Speaker 2: there with you? Mom? Friends supports, Opie says, I'm going

886
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:43,319
Speaker 2: to try to contact a dual organization, like someone in

887
00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:46,399
Speaker 2: this thread suggested, my mom can't be here because she's

888
00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:48,600
Speaker 2: out of state thanks to the BID. I was dumb

889
00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:51,640
Speaker 2: enough to think that he'd be there. P Square says, oh, man,

890
00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:55,200
Speaker 2: every negative belief I have about relationships with large age

891
00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:58,520
Speaker 2: gaps gets confirmed once again. Read what to do? Other

892
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:01,080
Speaker 2: than getting child support from him? There's not much else.

893
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:01,800
Speaker 1: You can do.

894
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:03,640
Speaker 2: Do you really want this guy in your life any

895
00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:07,160
Speaker 2: more than absolutely necessary? And Opie says, yeah, it's not

896
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:09,160
Speaker 2: a good choice. I wish I could go back and

897
00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:11,920
Speaker 2: tell my naive self to run away. I wish I

898
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:13,759
Speaker 2: could zap him out of my life at all. But

899
00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:17,760
Speaker 2: you know, JPK thirty six says, this is a horrible situation.

900
00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:20,719
Speaker 2: Did you never go to his place of residence? How

901
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:23,240
Speaker 2: could he hide something like this from you for two years?

902
00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:26,400
Speaker 2: You never asked to meet his kids once it got serious,

903
00:42:27,040 --> 00:42:30,080
Speaker 2: Hopefully you stick it to him, make him take responsibility,

904
00:42:30,239 --> 00:42:34,480
Speaker 2: even if it's just financially. And Opie responds, he had

905
00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:36,920
Speaker 2: an apartment. I get the feeling that I wasn't the

906
00:42:36,920 --> 00:42:39,520
Speaker 2: first person he tried this on. Told me his ex

907
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:43,080
Speaker 2: wife at full custody. Blah blah, blah blah blah, typical

908
00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:47,239
Speaker 2: shady story I should have seen through. He was really

909
00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:49,680
Speaker 2: good at making it all sound realistic. He came to

910
00:42:49,719 --> 00:42:51,719
Speaker 2: my city for work frequently, so a lot of the

911
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:54,200
Speaker 2: time we were here. But he really had all of his

912
00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:57,480
Speaker 2: bases covered. And j W six five seven one says,

913
00:42:57,560 --> 00:43:00,319
Speaker 2: so again, you never met his children. If a man

914
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:04,400
Speaker 2: has children but never has them, then there's something wrong.

915
00:43:04,640 --> 00:43:07,800
Speaker 2: Opie says, yep, I never once met them. I realize

916
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:09,560
Speaker 2: now that this is something I should have seen as

917
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:12,480
Speaker 2: a red flag. I think I'm a pretty smart person,

918
00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:14,720
Speaker 2: but let me tell you, this has made me feel

919
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:16,320
Speaker 2: like a huge idiot.

920
00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:19,239
Speaker 1: I wonder what he would say about the kids. If

921
00:43:19,239 --> 00:43:22,320
Speaker 1: OPI was ever like, can I meet your kids? He's like, yeah.

922
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:24,200
Speaker 2: I wonder if she ever asked.

923
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:25,560
Speaker 1: They're allergic to strangers.

924
00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:28,279
Speaker 2: Popeye Switch says, do you have proof that he's been

925
00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:29,320
Speaker 2: lying this whole time?

926
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:30,399
Speaker 1: You're gonna need it.

927
00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:33,440
Speaker 2: Opie says, I'm a sentimental hoarder, so I have a

928
00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:35,960
Speaker 2: lot of texts and stuff. Gonna make sure that I

929
00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:40,200
Speaker 2: screenshot anytime he talked about his divorce, custody, anything else

930
00:43:40,239 --> 00:43:42,960
Speaker 2: he lied about. Edit says, thank you all It seems

931
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:46,319
Speaker 2: like getting legal help is priority number one. I'm just

932
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:49,120
Speaker 2: in shock right now, like I almost feel numb. But

933
00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:52,520
Speaker 2: I really appreciate everyone here for your help. I was

934
00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:55,000
Speaker 2: really happy and looking forward to baby, and I just

935
00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:57,560
Speaker 2: feel really sad right now, so I need to take

936
00:43:57,600 --> 00:44:00,279
Speaker 2: a breather. Everything is ready for the baby, and I'm

937
00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:04,360
Speaker 2: still excited to meet them. But Jesus ed it two says,

938
00:44:04,880 --> 00:44:07,920
Speaker 2: in addition to all kinds of weird comments, I'm getting.

939
00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:09,320
Speaker 1: A YadA YadA YadA. Okay.

940
00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:11,840
Speaker 2: I called around to a few family lawyers in my area,

941
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:14,200
Speaker 2: and the advice I get from posting here has been

942
00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:17,520
Speaker 2: absolutely brilliant. But I'm running out of the sass and

943
00:44:17,719 --> 00:44:20,400
Speaker 2: steam to deal with anything else that's happening here, so

944
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:22,319
Speaker 2: I'm just going to check out. I'm going to leave

945
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:25,120
Speaker 2: the legal business to the lawyers. Smart ray that he

946
00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:27,879
Speaker 2: didn't give me false information and I can actually find

947
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:30,279
Speaker 2: him and try to remember how much I was looking

948
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:32,800
Speaker 2: forward to being a mom before all of this happened.

949
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:35,240
Speaker 2: I don't really care if people think it's fake or whatever,

950
00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:38,880
Speaker 2: because I've gained exactly nothing from making this post, and

951
00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:42,160
Speaker 2: I gain exactly nothing from arguing to everyone who shared

952
00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:44,960
Speaker 2: the stories with me. Thank you. I doubt anything of

953
00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:49,040
Speaker 2: monumental concern will happen between now and Monday induction. But

954
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:51,160
Speaker 2: once baby is here, I will try to come back

955
00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:53,279
Speaker 2: and let people know what's happening. And there is an

956
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:56,759
Speaker 2: update one week later. Boy, baby is here. Baby is here.

957
00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:59,120
Speaker 2: Baby is here, Baby is here.

958
00:44:59,239 --> 00:44:59,960
Speaker 1: Oh baby, Yeah.

959
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:02,840
Speaker 2: I think there's nothing else you can really do besides

960
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:05,680
Speaker 2: lawyer and get that child support and also tell.

961
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:09,960
Speaker 1: Wife, lawyer, tell wife, tell wife, who was kids? Have baby?

962
00:45:10,239 --> 00:45:14,400
Speaker 1: Turn baby into lawyer, baby lawyer. Now you've got three lawyers.

963
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:17,880
Speaker 1: You've got a hit movie script yeah, and a lawyer. Baby,

964
00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:20,839
Speaker 1: I'm baby lawyer. You're essentially set up for life at

965
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:22,560
Speaker 1: that point, I think, yeah, and then you make all

966
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:24,719
Speaker 1: of the money from that movie, and I think of

967
00:45:24,760 --> 00:45:26,480
Speaker 1: all the cases that baby will win from being a

968
00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:27,399
Speaker 1: lawyer for so long.

969
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:30,600
Speaker 2: But there is an update and baby is here. First

970
00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:33,960
Speaker 2: things First, I had my healthy baby girl on Monday evening.

971
00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:37,040
Speaker 2: We were discharged shortly after birth due to the VID,

972
00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:39,920
Speaker 2: so I've been just trying to adjust to everything. Her

973
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:41,880
Speaker 2: birth was a dream and I never want to do

974
00:45:41,920 --> 00:45:45,120
Speaker 2: it again lol. Second, I talked to his wife for

975
00:45:45,200 --> 00:45:48,799
Speaker 2: over an hour yesterday I guess he decided to tell

976
00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:52,120
Speaker 2: her okay ooh, like on the phone, or did she

977
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:53,640
Speaker 2: come visit you in the baby?

978
00:45:53,680 --> 00:45:55,640
Speaker 1: I feel like there's a lot to talk about for

979
00:45:55,680 --> 00:45:57,399
Speaker 1: an hour. Yeah, I don't hmm.

980
00:45:57,800 --> 00:46:00,279
Speaker 2: She wasn't mad at me, thank god. She had her

981
00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:03,320
Speaker 2: suspicions but was trying to trust her husband, which I understand.

982
00:46:03,560 --> 00:46:06,399
Speaker 2: She was so nice honestly, and even though she isn't

983
00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:09,120
Speaker 2: angry at me, I still feel bad because she's such

984
00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:11,200
Speaker 2: a nice lady. She wanted to make sure I was

985
00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:13,680
Speaker 2: doing okay and that I didn't need anything, which made

986
00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:17,520
Speaker 2: me cry because postpartum hormones are whack. She's getting a

987
00:46:17,560 --> 00:46:20,799
Speaker 2: divorce from him, good for her, TBA. We're planning y'all

988
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:23,480
Speaker 2: should get married. You guys should get married and raise

989
00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:26,640
Speaker 2: this baby and her two kids. Yeah, and take all

990
00:46:26,680 --> 00:46:27,400
Speaker 2: of his money.

991
00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:29,360
Speaker 1: And it'd be like a twist. It'd be like instead

992
00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:33,359
Speaker 1: of friends, it'd be not friends because like the show Friends, Yeah,

993
00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:36,520
Speaker 1: because it starts with Ross's wife spoiler alert for Friends,

994
00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:39,560
Speaker 1: Ross's wife leaves him for a woman and raises their

995
00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:42,840
Speaker 1: kid with her. Yeah, same thing can happen here, except

996
00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:44,600
Speaker 1: it's bizarro friends exactly.

997
00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:46,879
Speaker 2: We're planning to meet up and talk crap about him

998
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:49,640
Speaker 2: once the virus is over. By the way, you can

999
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:52,440
Speaker 2: talk crap with us if you listen to full episodes

1000
00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:55,880
Speaker 2: with stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

1001
00:46:55,960 --> 00:46:58,120
Speaker 2: or iHeartRadio and search a book is story time.

1002
00:46:58,239 --> 00:46:59,719
Speaker 1: Yes, talk all the crap you want.

1003
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:01,960
Speaker 2: He won't be able to respond to you, but there

1004
00:47:02,040 --> 00:47:04,040
Speaker 2: is a little bit left to the story. I think

1005
00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:06,120
Speaker 2: you're on the right track. I think it's gonna be tricky,

1006
00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:08,560
Speaker 2: and it sucks that he did this, but I think

1007
00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:09,640
Speaker 2: you're doing everything you gotta do.

1008
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:11,640
Speaker 1: I think actually finding a little bit of support in

1009
00:47:11,680 --> 00:47:14,800
Speaker 1: the wife is like a crazy positive out of nowhere,

1010
00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:15,160
Speaker 1: I think.

1011
00:47:15,239 --> 00:47:17,880
Speaker 2: I agree. Yeah, I think you guys both kind of

1012
00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:20,799
Speaker 2: went through the same things on different ends, and it's

1013
00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:23,880
Speaker 2: really really lovely that she's reaching out to you and

1014
00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:26,360
Speaker 2: saying like, hey, do you need anything, because.

1015
00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:27,880
Speaker 1: She didn't have to do that. I know she probably

1016
00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:29,239
Speaker 1: gets that she said two kids.

1017
00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:31,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, He's like, hey, I understand I had two kids

1018
00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:31,919
Speaker 2: with that man.

1019
00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:33,759
Speaker 1: You just said one yeah, And he's not even there.

1020
00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:35,880
Speaker 2: He's not even there. I mean, I think, just like

1021
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:39,080
Speaker 2: if a person has kids meet him maybe at some

1022
00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:41,080
Speaker 2: point before you have kids with that person.

1023
00:47:41,239 --> 00:47:44,480
Speaker 1: Maybe he just really was convincing about all the reasons

1024
00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:46,320
Speaker 1: why the kids weren't available.

1025
00:47:46,320 --> 00:47:50,080
Speaker 2: He's like, oh, they've got soccer practice today, and she's

1026
00:47:50,120 --> 00:47:52,600
Speaker 2: like it's like it's midnight, and he's like a hawk.

1027
00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:56,040
Speaker 1: Rust don't understand their mom wants him to beat the caathletes.

1028
00:47:56,280 --> 00:47:59,120
Speaker 1: They're they're training at all hours. They're trying to go

1029
00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:02,080
Speaker 1: to the olymp We're trying to make a new thing

1030
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:05,040
Speaker 1: that's even better than the Olympics. Yeah, we haven't worked

1031
00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:06,080
Speaker 1: out the name yet for.

1032
00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:08,759
Speaker 2: Just for my kids because they're so good. Yeah, but

1033
00:48:08,960 --> 00:48:11,360
Speaker 2: let's finish the story off. I have a lawyer and

1034
00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:16,280
Speaker 2: will establish custody and child support legally asap. He hasn't

1035
00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:19,439
Speaker 2: bothered to contact me at all, but I don't particularly care.

1036
00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:21,680
Speaker 2: I didn't want to leave anyone hanging. Even though it's

1037
00:48:21,719 --> 00:48:24,560
Speaker 2: not a huge update. Thank you to everyone who checked in.

1038
00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:27,640
Speaker 2: It means a lot. Also, I'm all set with everything

1039
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:31,160
Speaker 2: baby needs with things being as they are, considering donating

1040
00:48:31,239 --> 00:48:34,160
Speaker 2: to a local diaper slash formula bank. Save your money

1041
00:48:34,200 --> 00:48:36,280
Speaker 2: for awards on this post too, and put it towards

1042
00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:39,280
Speaker 2: that help babies and mamas who don't have the resources

1043
00:48:39,320 --> 00:48:42,040
Speaker 2: I do. Ohp seems like a great person. No, but

1044
00:48:42,080 --> 00:48:44,400
Speaker 2: there are some relevant comments to finish it off. Deboles

1045
00:48:44,480 --> 00:48:47,239
Speaker 2: five oh eight says, out of curiosity, did she reach

1046
00:48:47,280 --> 00:48:49,600
Speaker 2: out to you? Did your ex give her your number?

1047
00:48:49,719 --> 00:48:52,560
Speaker 2: Obi says he refused, so she went through his phone

1048
00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:54,799
Speaker 2: to find me. She's a petty legend and a lever.

1049
00:48:55,080 --> 00:48:58,960
Speaker 2: Serge Zomy says that was a far better outcome than expected.

1050
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:01,319
Speaker 2: I hope a friendship between the two of you blossoms

1051
00:49:01,360 --> 00:49:04,160
Speaker 2: and the siblings can get to know one another. Don't

1052
00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:07,160
Speaker 2: be surprised if she does step back, though. This must

1053
00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:10,200
Speaker 2: be incredibly hard for her. Although it wasn't your fault,

1054
00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:12,640
Speaker 2: you will always be a reminder that her husband cheated

1055
00:49:12,680 --> 00:49:16,600
Speaker 2: and her marriage is over. Opie says, Oh, absolutely, she'll

1056
00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:18,799
Speaker 2: need time to grieve. I want to support her in

1057
00:49:18,880 --> 00:49:21,320
Speaker 2: whatever way I can, even if it means us stepping

1058
00:49:21,320 --> 00:49:23,919
Speaker 2: away from each other. She's a great lady who ended

1059
00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:27,399
Speaker 2: up in a crappy situation, and that is the end

1060
00:49:27,400 --> 00:49:28,040
Speaker 2: of that story.

1061
00:49:28,239 --> 00:49:30,080
Speaker 1: Sometimes that's what happens, man.

1062
00:49:30,320 --> 00:49:32,759
Speaker 2: Sometimes I have sound to Kookie krembles.

1063
00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:36,400
Speaker 1: Sometimes a good person ends up with a bad hand.

1064
00:49:36,200 --> 00:49:39,200
Speaker 2: But sometimes post the bad hand, you wind up with

1065
00:49:39,320 --> 00:49:40,400
Speaker 2: another good person.

1066
00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:43,279
Speaker 1: When you get brought low. All that means is you've

1067
00:49:43,280 --> 00:49:46,239
Speaker 1: got space for an upswing, space to grow, You've got

1068
00:49:46,280 --> 00:49:47,680
Speaker 1: space for things to get better.

1069
00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:49,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's the end of that story.

1070
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:52,360
Speaker 1: Here's johni og host here. We're gonna get back to

1071
00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:54,000
Speaker 1: the stories, but here's a quick three minute break of

1072
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:57,560
Speaker 1: ass from our sponsors. My ex boyfriend cheated on his

1073
00:49:57,760 --> 00:50:00,799
Speaker 1: current partner with me. I I want to tell her

1074
00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:04,919
Speaker 1: you should. I twenty five female, met Andy twenty nine male,

1075
00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:08,160
Speaker 1: back in August of twenty nineteen on Tinder. We hit

1076
00:50:08,200 --> 00:50:11,840
Speaker 1: it off super quickly because we were hardcore nerds, gamers

1077
00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:15,120
Speaker 1: and in all honesty, probably very lonely and depressed adults

1078
00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:17,279
Speaker 1: that craved affection from someone. By the way, this comes

1079
00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:19,560
Speaker 1: from user fun Philosophy thirty seven to twenty eight, and

1080
00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:21,239
Speaker 1: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

1081
00:50:21,239 --> 00:50:24,880
Speaker 1: the r slash Okay storytime subburd it. So we chatted

1082
00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:27,759
Speaker 1: for about a week before we decided to actually meet

1083
00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:29,960
Speaker 1: up for the first time for a date, which I

1084
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:32,239
Speaker 1: would say is about the maximum window you're allowed to

1085
00:50:32,239 --> 00:50:32,480
Speaker 1: do that.

1086
00:50:32,760 --> 00:50:34,680
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think for like an online dating I think

1087
00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:36,840
Speaker 2: it doesn't make sense to keep talking.

1088
00:50:36,680 --> 00:50:40,160
Speaker 1: Since we only lived about thirty minutes away from each other.

1089
00:50:40,320 --> 00:50:42,920
Speaker 1: At the time, he was an AVYCB stationed at a

1090
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:46,160
Speaker 1: Port Town boiler alert. The date was awkward. We literally

1091
00:50:46,200 --> 00:50:49,719
Speaker 1: just walked in silence, side by side together downtown, not

1092
00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:51,719
Speaker 1: saying a single word to each other.

1093
00:50:52,640 --> 00:50:57,160
Speaker 2: Dude, that could not be me. I can't do silence.

1094
00:50:57,400 --> 00:51:00,279
Speaker 1: It was obvious that we were both socially anxious and

1095
00:51:00,640 --> 00:51:04,799
Speaker 1: nerves as heck man. After the date, which lasted less

1096
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:07,040
Speaker 1: than an hour, he took me back home, where I

1097
00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:09,680
Speaker 1: proceeded to panic because I thought I blew it. He

1098
00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:13,160
Speaker 1: ghosted me for three days until he finally responded. The

1099
00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:15,440
Speaker 1: gist of the conversation was him coming to the conclusion

1100
00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:18,359
Speaker 1: that he was probably always meant to be alone in

1101
00:51:18,360 --> 00:51:20,399
Speaker 1: this world. I should have taken that as a red

1102
00:51:20,400 --> 00:51:22,399
Speaker 1: flag from the very beginning. I asked if we could

1103
00:51:22,440 --> 00:51:24,840
Speaker 1: still be friends, but he just said, that's probably not

1104
00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:27,839
Speaker 1: a good idea. From that point on, I was devastated.

1105
00:51:28,160 --> 00:51:30,640
Speaker 1: I really liked the guy, as he not only had

1106
00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:33,520
Speaker 1: that adorably big nerdy cuteness to him, but I thought

1107
00:51:33,560 --> 00:51:36,600
Speaker 1: we actually bonded. It took one real date for him

1108
00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:40,440
Speaker 1: to get scared and run away fast forward eight months

1109
00:51:40,480 --> 00:51:43,160
Speaker 1: of self loading later, and we actually end up running

1110
00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:45,840
Speaker 1: into each other online in a twitch stream of a

1111
00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:48,560
Speaker 1: very small streamer streaming League of Legends. At the time,

1112
00:51:48,600 --> 00:51:50,600
Speaker 1: we actually didn't know it was each other when we

1113
00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:53,160
Speaker 1: were talking in chat because we had username handles. I

1114
00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:55,319
Speaker 1: know it sounds hard to believe to just randomly run

1115
00:51:55,360 --> 00:51:58,440
Speaker 1: into the same person online after meeting them in real life,

1116
00:51:58,680 --> 00:52:00,840
Speaker 1: out of the billions of people on the Internet, but

1117
00:52:00,920 --> 00:52:03,080
Speaker 1: I guess it was just a sick and twisted play

1118
00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:05,320
Speaker 1: on fate that we had to be viewing the same

1119
00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:09,200
Speaker 1: small streamer at the same time. After we found out

1120
00:52:09,320 --> 00:52:12,120
Speaker 1: that we were who we said we were, we DMed

1121
00:52:12,120 --> 00:52:15,759
Speaker 1: each other privately and spilled our hearts out. He was

1122
00:52:15,920 --> 00:52:18,799
Speaker 1: remorseful for what he did to me eight months ago,

1123
00:52:19,120 --> 00:52:22,480
Speaker 1: and I simply forgave him because I thought this was

1124
00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:26,000
Speaker 1: God giving me the chance to redeem myself for him.

1125
00:52:26,200 --> 00:52:30,160
Speaker 1: After that conversation, we finally decided to try again and

1126
00:52:30,239 --> 00:52:33,120
Speaker 1: actually become boyfriend and girlfriend. The relationship was good for

1127
00:52:33,160 --> 00:52:35,880
Speaker 1: the most part, except at some point I felt like

1128
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:38,640
Speaker 1: he was pulling away from me slowly. He would text

1129
00:52:38,640 --> 00:52:40,720
Speaker 1: me every day and tell me I love you, until

1130
00:52:40,719 --> 00:52:43,160
Speaker 1: he stopped saying it and would be a little shorter

1131
00:52:43,239 --> 00:52:45,680
Speaker 1: than usual with me. I expressed my concerns and he

1132
00:52:45,719 --> 00:52:48,759
Speaker 1: apologized for treating me this way. We eventually decided to

1133
00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:51,279
Speaker 1: break up in July of twenty twenty. I just feel

1134
00:52:51,280 --> 00:52:53,840
Speaker 1: like we lost all of the actual important context for that.

1135
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:55,920
Speaker 1: It's like he just kind of stopped saying I love you,

1136
00:52:55,960 --> 00:52:58,480
Speaker 1: and then we broke up in July twenty twenty. Okay, okay, fine,

1137
00:52:58,520 --> 00:53:01,760
Speaker 1: fair enough. We texted each other here and there, not often,

1138
00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:04,400
Speaker 1: but we still were in the same circle now that

1139
00:53:04,440 --> 00:53:06,880
Speaker 1: we both knew. We hung out in the same Twitch

1140
00:53:06,920 --> 00:53:10,360
Speaker 1: stream and discord often. One night, we both got a

1141
00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:12,759
Speaker 1: little too honest with each other and said we weren't

1142
00:53:12,800 --> 00:53:16,160
Speaker 1: completely over each other. Has this relationship been in person

1143
00:53:16,320 --> 00:53:18,040
Speaker 1: at all? Right? It had to have been for a

1144
00:53:18,080 --> 00:53:18,719
Speaker 1: little bit, right.

1145
00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:20,879
Speaker 2: It was when they were dating because they live close

1146
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:21,399
Speaker 2: to each other.

1147
00:53:21,480 --> 00:53:23,360
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, they lived thirty minutes away. Okay, I forgot

1148
00:53:23,360 --> 00:53:24,359
Speaker 1: that part. I forgot that part.

1149
00:53:24,440 --> 00:53:27,120
Speaker 2: It's like I realized I had to redeem myself for

1150
00:53:27,280 --> 00:53:30,279
Speaker 2: this man that I met once for thirty minutes eight

1151
00:53:30,320 --> 00:53:30,960
Speaker 2: months ago.

1152
00:53:30,840 --> 00:53:32,279
Speaker 1: And had no words for.

1153
00:53:32,560 --> 00:53:36,000
Speaker 2: And also like the ghosting where she was like, hey,

1154
00:53:36,080 --> 00:53:38,600
Speaker 2: ghosted me. I don't know, like texting three days later

1155
00:53:38,640 --> 00:53:41,080
Speaker 2: after really bad date. It's not even ghost It's not

1156
00:53:41,120 --> 00:53:45,680
Speaker 2: even ghosting, not really. This is giving off very parasocial energy.

1157
00:53:45,760 --> 00:53:47,320
Speaker 2: You gotta get real social.

1158
00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:49,800
Speaker 1: One thing led to another, and we ended up setting

1159
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:51,600
Speaker 1: a date for me to go over to his place

1160
00:53:51,640 --> 00:53:54,959
Speaker 1: for the first time. I got questions first time.

1161
00:53:55,120 --> 00:53:57,560
Speaker 2: No, no, no, his place, his place for the first time.

1162
00:53:57,760 --> 00:54:00,000
Speaker 2: Maybe they went to oh Peace place. You guys met

1163
00:54:00,160 --> 00:54:02,680
Speaker 2: in person, right, you guys were dating in person?

1164
00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:06,080
Speaker 1: Right? I cannot tell, she said, now that we run

1165
00:54:06,080 --> 00:54:09,960
Speaker 1: in the same circles on Twitch and discord doesn't feel

1166
00:54:10,200 --> 00:54:11,439
Speaker 1: like it happened in real life.

1167
00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:11,960
Speaker 2: Keep going.

1168
00:54:12,280 --> 00:54:14,239
Speaker 1: So one thing led to another, and we ended up

1169
00:54:14,280 --> 00:54:15,799
Speaker 1: setting a date for me to go over to his

1170
00:54:15,880 --> 00:54:19,640
Speaker 1: place for the first time. And yes, we ended up

1171
00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:23,320
Speaker 1: doing the deed. I don't know if that's a great idea.

1172
00:54:23,520 --> 00:54:27,160
Speaker 1: We got back together yet again. I ended up going

1173
00:54:27,160 --> 00:54:30,480
Speaker 1: to his place a second time that December. I'm sorry

1174
00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:33,680
Speaker 1: what we had July twenty twenty and now fast forward

1175
00:54:34,040 --> 00:54:38,000
Speaker 1: December is the second time you're going over to his house? Gotcha?

1176
00:54:38,160 --> 00:54:40,359
Speaker 1: This time when we were cuddling each other in bed,

1177
00:54:40,400 --> 00:54:42,560
Speaker 1: he showed me a YouTube video on his phone to

1178
00:54:42,640 --> 00:54:46,000
Speaker 1: laugh at. At the top leftish corner of his phone screen,

1179
00:54:46,040 --> 00:54:49,080
Speaker 1: I noticed a small Tinder logo app in the recently

1180
00:54:49,120 --> 00:54:51,520
Speaker 1: opened apps. I don't know what phone he had, but

1181
00:54:51,560 --> 00:54:53,680
Speaker 1: it was an Android and correct me if I'm wrong,

1182
00:54:53,680 --> 00:54:55,759
Speaker 1: But I'm pretty sure those phones show the logs of

1183
00:54:55,840 --> 00:54:57,920
Speaker 1: recently opened apps the top of the phone screen somewhere.

1184
00:54:57,960 --> 00:55:00,000
Speaker 2: But are y'all even like dat? And Dayton, this is

1185
00:55:00,120 --> 00:55:01,279
Speaker 2: the second time you've been to his house?

1186
00:55:01,320 --> 00:55:03,560
Speaker 1: Are you like dating? Where are we at? So feels

1187
00:55:03,600 --> 00:55:04,480
Speaker 1: looking for the loophole.

1188
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:07,120
Speaker 2: No, I'm just like, are you guys like officially dating?

1189
00:55:07,480 --> 00:55:09,480
Speaker 2: Or you went over to his house? This is the

1190
00:55:09,520 --> 00:55:10,759
Speaker 2: second time you've gone over.

1191
00:55:11,080 --> 00:55:13,399
Speaker 1: This feels like it was like a yeah, we did

1192
00:55:13,440 --> 00:55:15,840
Speaker 1: the deed at his house. Yeah we're dating. It doesn't

1193
00:55:15,880 --> 00:55:17,960
Speaker 1: feel mean wow. He's like, yeah, I don't know. She

1194
00:55:18,040 --> 00:55:19,200
Speaker 1: came over and we hooked up.

1195
00:55:19,320 --> 00:55:20,279
Speaker 2: That's what that feels like.

1196
00:55:20,440 --> 00:55:22,480
Speaker 4: See I'm on her side here if I'm doing the

1197
00:55:22,600 --> 00:55:24,240
Speaker 4: US on one, I'm like, yeah, dude.

1198
00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:27,000
Speaker 1: We're right, but like, are you going to talk about it?

1199
00:55:27,040 --> 00:55:29,959
Speaker 1: She's my baby girl? So like deed signed? You sign

1200
00:55:30,040 --> 00:55:32,759
Speaker 1: the deed and now you go, hey, so what are

1201
00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:35,160
Speaker 1: we now? Right, since we did that or thing, So

1202
00:55:35,280 --> 00:55:37,880
Speaker 1: you bring that up. That's the point. Well, by the time.

1203
00:55:37,719 --> 00:55:40,120
Speaker 4: It's been a month, I men or mom have a

1204
00:55:40,160 --> 00:55:43,160
Speaker 4: good relationship status with her and her parents, and I'm

1205
00:55:43,200 --> 00:55:45,200
Speaker 4: a cool guy, like, yeah, I've already put in a

1206
00:55:45,239 --> 00:55:46,720
Speaker 4: lot of work. You know how many flowers I probably

1207
00:55:46,719 --> 00:55:48,280
Speaker 4: bought by this point and dates.

1208
00:55:48,440 --> 00:55:52,120
Speaker 2: But presumably we're asking how you had the conversation. You

1209
00:55:52,120 --> 00:55:53,840
Speaker 2: can't just assume things based off.

1210
00:55:53,960 --> 00:55:56,799
Speaker 1: Just like you're my girl, so you have the conversation.

1211
00:55:57,080 --> 00:56:00,680
Speaker 1: If you want to get straight about where you're at

1212
00:56:00,680 --> 00:56:03,880
Speaker 1: with somebody, you gotta have a conversation with him about it.

1213
00:56:03,920 --> 00:56:06,120
Speaker 2: If you only want to do the deed with the

1214
00:56:06,120 --> 00:56:07,960
Speaker 2: person that you're in the relationship with, then make sure

1215
00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:08,600
Speaker 2: you're in the.

1216
00:56:08,560 --> 00:56:11,319
Speaker 1: Relationship before you do it. I would agree, And I'm

1217
00:56:11,320 --> 00:56:11,960
Speaker 1: not saying that.

1218
00:56:11,960 --> 00:56:14,000
Speaker 2: Oh he's like it doesn't have a right to be

1219
00:56:14,239 --> 00:56:16,719
Speaker 2: like upset or anything. I'm just saying, she can't be

1220
00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:19,520
Speaker 2: like he's cheating on me if they're not officially dating.

1221
00:56:19,600 --> 00:56:23,880
Speaker 1: Okay, I internally panicked after seeing the tender logo, but

1222
00:56:24,000 --> 00:56:26,600
Speaker 1: my dumb booty self decided to ignore it and not

1223
00:56:26,680 --> 00:56:28,840
Speaker 1: ruin the moment together since this would be my last

1224
00:56:28,880 --> 00:56:31,480
Speaker 1: time seeing him as he was going to be stationed

1225
00:56:31,520 --> 00:56:35,720
Speaker 1: in Okinawa for the coming new year. So we ended

1226
00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:39,480
Speaker 1: up breaking up in February of twenty twenty one because

1227
00:56:39,520 --> 00:56:41,799
Speaker 1: he wasn't willing to do a long distance relationship from

1228
00:56:41,800 --> 00:56:45,080
Speaker 1: that far away. However, he was willing to text me

1229
00:56:45,280 --> 00:56:47,760
Speaker 1: every single freaking day and flirt with me on occasion.

1230
00:56:47,800 --> 00:56:51,120
Speaker 1: From that point on, I realize now that it was

1231
00:56:51,200 --> 00:56:54,120
Speaker 1: a situationship, and my stupid self allowed it because in

1232
00:56:54,160 --> 00:56:56,360
Speaker 1: my head it meant that he would still give me

1233
00:56:56,400 --> 00:56:59,719
Speaker 1: affection and love, as he actually said, I love you

1234
00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:01,719
Speaker 1: more often from that point on.

1235
00:57:02,280 --> 00:57:05,440
Speaker 2: Okay, I will say Opie said they broke up, so

1236
00:57:05,960 --> 00:57:09,759
Speaker 2: it seems like they were officially together, I suppose, but

1237
00:57:09,840 --> 00:57:11,759
Speaker 2: also I don't like fully trust no Pea.

1238
00:57:12,120 --> 00:57:15,040
Speaker 1: Well, that's Ope says clearly, we're in a situation ship.

1239
00:57:15,280 --> 00:57:17,080
Speaker 1: I think the whole time y'all have been in her

1240
00:57:17,080 --> 00:57:18,240
Speaker 1: situation ship.

1241
00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:21,080
Speaker 2: I need more clarity from both sides because I feel

1242
00:57:21,120 --> 00:57:25,400
Speaker 2: like he's always been on like, yeah, we're casually hooking up,

1243
00:57:25,680 --> 00:57:28,280
Speaker 2: it's nothing crazy, and she's like we're married.

1244
00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:30,800
Speaker 1: Onto where the story starts to get spicier. It was

1245
00:57:30,840 --> 00:57:33,120
Speaker 1: around March twenty twenty two, and we had been texting

1246
00:57:33,120 --> 00:57:36,320
Speaker 1: each other every single day for over a year now,

1247
00:57:36,640 --> 00:57:39,760
Speaker 1: with the occasional flirting and spicy texting. He mentioned a

1248
00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:42,440
Speaker 1: girl in his gaming group that he was complaining about

1249
00:57:42,840 --> 00:57:46,000
Speaker 1: constantly trying to get every guy in that group's attention.

1250
00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:49,240
Speaker 1: Let's call her Samantha. She was the only girl in

1251
00:57:49,280 --> 00:57:51,240
Speaker 1: that group as far as I know. He even went

1252
00:57:51,280 --> 00:57:54,160
Speaker 1: as far to call Samantha an e girl. He went

1253
00:57:54,240 --> 00:57:57,560
Speaker 1: as far as to call her an egl and said

1254
00:57:57,560 --> 00:58:02,720
Speaker 1: that she actively flirted with Andy's engaged friend in voice chat.

1255
00:58:03,080 --> 00:58:05,760
Speaker 1: This was during gaming sessions. It was Destiny too, by

1256
00:58:05,800 --> 00:58:08,320
Speaker 1: the way, and they would flirt so much to where

1257
00:58:08,320 --> 00:58:11,000
Speaker 1: Andy would tell them to stop. It takes two to

1258
00:58:11,080 --> 00:58:14,000
Speaker 1: flirt though, Yeah. Andy told me that he was the

1259
00:58:14,040 --> 00:58:16,040
Speaker 1: only guy in that group who could talk to her

1260
00:58:16,040 --> 00:58:18,880
Speaker 1: in a more serious and friendly way, while every guy

1261
00:58:18,960 --> 00:58:21,280
Speaker 1: always seemed to kind of act simpy towards me.

1262
00:58:21,440 --> 00:58:23,080
Speaker 2: You know, needs to be sent to space.

1263
00:58:23,320 --> 00:58:25,440
Speaker 1: Both of these people both to these people to space,

1264
00:58:25,520 --> 00:58:27,080
Speaker 1: and they did to look at the planet Earth.

1265
00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:27,760
Speaker 2: Andy.

1266
00:58:27,960 --> 00:58:30,680
Speaker 1: Andy reassured me that he would not act like those

1267
00:58:30,720 --> 00:58:34,600
Speaker 1: guys around her. Ever, as I expressed concerns about her

1268
00:58:34,680 --> 00:58:37,600
Speaker 1: attention seeking behavior telling me that he's not a symp

1269
00:58:37,600 --> 00:58:40,880
Speaker 1: towards Samantha like every other guy in their destiny group.

1270
00:58:41,080 --> 00:58:43,920
Speaker 1: My gut feeling told me that he probably wasn't telling

1271
00:58:43,960 --> 00:58:46,440
Speaker 1: me something. I did not like her being in that

1272
00:58:46,560 --> 00:58:49,680
Speaker 1: friend group with him, as I was definitely getting jealous

1273
00:58:49,720 --> 00:58:51,800
Speaker 1: and worried that she might make a move on Andy,

1274
00:58:51,920 --> 00:58:55,240
Speaker 1: who is not your boyfriend? You guys broke up. I

1275
00:58:55,240 --> 00:58:57,840
Speaker 1: didn't feel like I could say anything as we had

1276
00:58:57,840 --> 00:59:00,600
Speaker 1: broken up back in February twin twists, do you know

1277
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:02,960
Speaker 1: that you broke up? Oh? My god? Okay, but we

1278
00:59:02,960 --> 00:59:06,360
Speaker 1: were obviously flirting and texting every single day since then.

1279
00:59:06,600 --> 00:59:10,160
Speaker 1: I swallowed my feelings. It wasn't until later in twenty

1280
00:59:10,200 --> 00:59:14,000
Speaker 1: twenty three that Andy told me that his girlfriend was

1281
00:59:14,120 --> 00:59:17,520
Speaker 1: quote self harm baiting him and he didn't know what

1282
00:59:17,600 --> 00:59:19,800
Speaker 1: to do or how to handle her. This all came

1283
00:59:19,800 --> 00:59:22,120
Speaker 1: out of nowhere, and I was obviously shocked by the

1284
00:59:22,160 --> 00:59:24,800
Speaker 1: news of him having a girlfriend and her doing that

1285
00:59:24,840 --> 00:59:27,880
Speaker 1: to him. I got viscerally angry at the betrayal on

1286
00:59:27,960 --> 00:59:31,440
Speaker 1: his part, but decided not to act or speak on it. Instead,

1287
00:59:31,560 --> 00:59:34,240
Speaker 1: I chose to tell him I wasn't sure what to

1288
00:59:34,280 --> 00:59:37,560
Speaker 1: do or tell him, and left it at that, which

1289
00:59:37,600 --> 00:59:40,800
Speaker 1: is fair. I ignored Andy's text for about a week

1290
00:59:41,240 --> 00:59:44,280
Speaker 1: and finally decided to respond to him. I laid it

1291
00:59:44,360 --> 00:59:46,240
Speaker 1: all out on him and told him I wasn't okay

1292
00:59:46,240 --> 00:59:49,360
Speaker 1: with him flirting with me anymore. As he went and

1293
00:59:49,560 --> 00:59:52,840
Speaker 1: not only flirted with another girl behind his girlfriend's back,

1294
00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:55,880
Speaker 1: but it was with his ex girlfriend who he kept

1295
00:59:56,040 --> 00:59:59,479
Speaker 1: in a situationship. He never told me, girl, we gotta

1296
00:59:59,480 --> 01:00:02,160
Speaker 1: start taking a acountability for our actions. We gotta start

1297
01:00:02,200 --> 01:00:05,720
Speaker 1: taking accountability for our own behaviors. Nobody kept you in

1298
01:00:05,760 --> 01:00:11,200
Speaker 1: a situationship at all. You participated, Yeah, in a back

1299
01:00:11,240 --> 01:00:13,720
Speaker 1: and forth with your ex boyfriend.

1300
01:00:13,960 --> 01:00:17,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, there are two sides to that. It's like when

1301
01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:19,400
Speaker 2: someone like is like flirting with you in the DMS

1302
01:00:19,440 --> 01:00:21,880
Speaker 2: and you're responding, You're like, why are they talking to me?

1303
01:00:21,920 --> 01:00:24,960
Speaker 2: It's like you're talking back. Obviously he might be manipulative

1304
01:00:25,240 --> 01:00:27,960
Speaker 2: or he is manipulative, But you gotta I mean two

1305
01:00:28,040 --> 01:00:30,200
Speaker 2: to tango, man. The only one that can take you

1306
01:00:30,280 --> 01:00:31,760
Speaker 2: out of that situationship is you.

1307
01:00:32,480 --> 01:00:35,560
Speaker 1: He never told me who the other girl was exactly,

1308
01:00:35,640 --> 01:00:38,280
Speaker 1: but after he spoke about how he and her played

1309
01:00:38,280 --> 01:00:40,880
Speaker 1: Destiny together a lot, it didn't take a genius to

1310
01:00:40,960 --> 01:00:44,560
Speaker 1: know it was Samantha he was dating, Yes, the same girl.

1311
01:00:44,920 --> 01:00:47,760
Speaker 1: He reassured me he would never simp for the same

1312
01:00:47,840 --> 01:00:51,440
Speaker 1: girl who flirted with his engaged to be married friend.

1313
01:00:51,720 --> 01:00:54,600
Speaker 1: Andy apologized and said he did not mean to hurt me,

1314
01:00:54,720 --> 01:00:57,280
Speaker 1: but knew it was his fault for stringing me along

1315
01:00:57,680 --> 01:01:00,120
Speaker 1: and cheating on his girlfriend with me. He just to

1316
01:01:00,160 --> 01:01:03,240
Speaker 1: find his actions by saying that he and Samantha decided

1317
01:01:03,280 --> 01:01:07,160
Speaker 1: to conveniently open the relationship while she worked things out

1318
01:01:07,200 --> 01:01:10,080
Speaker 1: with her own boyfriend at the time. She confirmed that

1319
01:01:10,200 --> 01:01:13,160
Speaker 1: she was also cheating on her previous boyfriend with Andy.

1320
01:01:13,360 --> 01:01:15,320
Speaker 1: I told Andy that the least he could do is

1321
01:01:15,360 --> 01:01:18,600
Speaker 1: tell Samantha the truth about his cheating, and he agreed,

1322
01:01:18,800 --> 01:01:20,800
Speaker 1: though he did say that he could not lose her

1323
01:01:20,840 --> 01:01:23,360
Speaker 1: as she was everything to him. I reassured him that

1324
01:01:23,360 --> 01:01:25,400
Speaker 1: I wouldn't tell her anything and that he would have

1325
01:01:25,440 --> 01:01:27,840
Speaker 1: to be the one to confess. Now here's where I

1326
01:01:28,120 --> 01:01:30,880
Speaker 1: may be the a hole. A few days after that

1327
01:01:30,960 --> 01:01:34,000
Speaker 1: conversation with Andy, I saw that he unfriended me on

1328
01:01:34,080 --> 01:01:38,280
Speaker 1: discord and left my personal discord. This might have happened

1329
01:01:38,280 --> 01:01:41,200
Speaker 1: way before, but I didn't notice it until now, and

1330
01:01:41,280 --> 01:01:44,240
Speaker 1: for some reason that got me pissed. Are we gonna

1331
01:01:44,280 --> 01:01:45,720
Speaker 1: really say for some reason.

1332
01:01:45,680 --> 01:01:49,360
Speaker 2: Let him release you Take this moment and be like, wow, okay,

1333
01:01:49,520 --> 01:01:51,280
Speaker 2: he's unfriended me. I'm free.

1334
01:01:51,320 --> 01:01:55,040
Speaker 1: Thank god. I can stop this cose play. I've been

1335
01:01:55,160 --> 01:01:58,440
Speaker 1: role playing as as girlfriend. It's over now, It's not real.

1336
01:01:58,800 --> 01:01:59,880
Speaker 2: This is what I'm saying.

1337
01:02:00,480 --> 01:02:03,520
Speaker 1: In my fit of rage. I looked up Andy's girlfriends

1338
01:02:03,600 --> 01:02:07,120
Speaker 1: discord handle in another friends discord, I found her and

1339
01:02:07,160 --> 01:02:10,000
Speaker 1: decided to message her. I typed, Hey, I need to

1340
01:02:10,000 --> 01:02:12,840
Speaker 1: speak to you about something important. Hours later, she replied

1341
01:02:12,840 --> 01:02:15,360
Speaker 1: with sorry, I don't know you, so I'm not interested,

1342
01:02:15,440 --> 01:02:17,480
Speaker 1: and then blocked me. Not even an hour later, I

1343
01:02:17,520 --> 01:02:21,240
Speaker 1: get a DM from Andy saying please leave my relationship alone.

1344
01:02:21,280 --> 01:02:23,680
Speaker 1: From that point on, I blocked both of them and

1345
01:02:23,720 --> 01:02:28,640
Speaker 1: blocked Andy's phone number and Instagram. Thank god. And by

1346
01:02:28,680 --> 01:02:32,080
Speaker 1: the way, you can listen to full episodes with stories

1347
01:02:32,160 --> 01:02:36,600
Speaker 1: just like this, no blocking, no ghosting. We're always going

1348
01:02:36,640 --> 01:02:40,000
Speaker 1: to be there on Spotify, on Apple podcasts, on iHeartRadio, hey,

1349
01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:41,680
Speaker 1: even on YouTube. If you want to just get the

1350
01:02:41,720 --> 01:02:45,000
Speaker 1: podcast experience, search Okay, story time, and that's all you

1351
01:02:45,040 --> 01:02:47,600
Speaker 1: need to find all the stories that your heart could

1352
01:02:47,600 --> 01:02:50,400
Speaker 1: ever want to listen to now there is a little

1353
01:02:50,440 --> 01:02:53,280
Speaker 1: bit more story here. We're both just gonna say, please,

1354
01:02:53,320 --> 01:02:56,280
Speaker 1: Dear God, please stay broken up with this guy.

1355
01:02:56,440 --> 01:02:59,960
Speaker 2: Literally, never talk to him again. He lives in Okinawa.

1356
01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:02,280
Speaker 2: You don't have to ever see him again. You don't

1357
01:03:02,320 --> 01:03:04,760
Speaker 2: not have to ever talk to him again. So go

1358
01:03:04,840 --> 01:03:07,800
Speaker 2: back on Tinder if you'd like, find that a next

1359
01:03:07,880 --> 01:03:09,800
Speaker 2: person boom, go one a day with them.

1360
01:03:09,920 --> 01:03:12,520
Speaker 1: I feel like knowing what kind of person Samantha is,

1361
01:03:12,640 --> 01:03:15,480
Speaker 1: and the response she gave me was very telling. Something

1362
01:03:15,520 --> 01:03:18,360
Speaker 1: tells me she already knew about this whole situation and

1363
01:03:18,400 --> 01:03:21,160
Speaker 1: did not care, as she not only cheated on her

1364
01:03:21,200 --> 01:03:25,680
Speaker 1: own previous boyfriend to be with Andy, but also flirted

1365
01:03:25,760 --> 01:03:29,720
Speaker 1: with Andy's engaged friend before this whole debacle even started.

1366
01:03:29,920 --> 01:03:31,760
Speaker 1: I only feel bad that I went back on my

1367
01:03:31,800 --> 01:03:35,320
Speaker 1: word against Andy for saying I wouldn't tell Samantha or

1368
01:03:35,440 --> 01:03:38,880
Speaker 1: at least attempted to tell her about his cheating. So

1369
01:03:39,520 --> 01:03:41,240
Speaker 1: am I the a hole for attempting to tell my

1370
01:03:41,280 --> 01:03:43,560
Speaker 1: ex boyfriend's current girlfriend that he cheated on her with

1371
01:03:43,600 --> 01:03:45,560
Speaker 1: me after telling him I wouldn't say anything to her.

1372
01:03:45,600 --> 01:03:48,200
Speaker 1: You're kind of the a hole for even writing that sentence.

1373
01:03:48,280 --> 01:03:51,360
Speaker 1: You're being an a hole to yourself. Yeah, just freaking

1374
01:03:51,680 --> 01:03:55,280
Speaker 1: move go outside, Go outside. I just swear to God

1375
01:03:55,280 --> 01:04:00,120
Speaker 1: this is you are chronically online and you are inside.

1376
01:04:00,240 --> 01:04:03,520
Speaker 2: My AX has been neglectful of my son, so I'm

1377
01:04:03,640 --> 01:04:04,360
Speaker 2: taking action.

1378
01:04:04,680 --> 01:04:06,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would hope some legal action.

1379
01:04:07,200 --> 01:04:10,280
Speaker 2: Maybe For context, I twenty seven female and my ex

1380
01:04:10,360 --> 01:04:12,600
Speaker 2: thirty three male, have a three year old little boy

1381
01:04:13,040 --> 01:04:17,280
Speaker 2: and he has what is called a non IgE dairy allergy.

1382
01:04:17,440 --> 01:04:20,120
Speaker 2: My ex has never really been the providing type. By

1383
01:04:20,120 --> 01:04:22,520
Speaker 2: the way, this comes from Creola Blackstars and if you

1384
01:04:22,520 --> 01:04:23,880
Speaker 2: want to spit your own stories, go to the r

1385
01:04:23,960 --> 01:04:27,040
Speaker 2: slash Okay, storytime separate it. So when I got with

1386
01:04:27,200 --> 01:04:30,520
Speaker 2: my ex, I initially only started dating him during the VID.

1387
01:04:30,840 --> 01:04:33,640
Speaker 2: During the first big lockdown in the UK, I became

1388
01:04:33,920 --> 01:04:37,280
Speaker 2: very lonely. I started speaking to him on friendly terms

1389
01:04:37,320 --> 01:04:39,240
Speaker 2: as we had a lot in common. At the time.

1390
01:04:39,280 --> 01:04:41,680
Speaker 2: I had mistaken him being unemployed for the fact that

1391
01:04:41,720 --> 01:04:44,040
Speaker 2: the lockdown did not really allow for his line of

1392
01:04:44,080 --> 01:04:46,160
Speaker 2: work to continue. Oh if he was like, oh, he

1393
01:04:46,200 --> 01:04:48,919
Speaker 2: doesn't have work because the lockdown, and then you later

1394
01:04:48,960 --> 01:04:51,200
Speaker 2: found out, oh, he doesn't have work because it's bad

1395
01:04:51,240 --> 01:04:53,680
Speaker 2: at his job. My ex and I lived with my

1396
01:04:53,760 --> 01:04:55,920
Speaker 2: parents from the point we got together due to the

1397
01:04:56,000 --> 01:04:58,640
Speaker 2: VID restrictions, so we could still see each other until

1398
01:04:58,680 --> 01:05:01,000
Speaker 2: we got the keys to our flag at which we

1399
01:05:01,000 --> 01:05:04,800
Speaker 2: were waiting for for about six months. Fast forward about

1400
01:05:04,880 --> 01:05:07,480
Speaker 2: eight months and I found out that I was pregnant

1401
01:05:07,520 --> 01:05:10,080
Speaker 2: with my son. This was June twenty twenty one. At

1402
01:05:10,080 --> 01:05:12,080
Speaker 2: this point, my ex got a job to help provide

1403
01:05:12,120 --> 01:05:14,360
Speaker 2: for a sun, which went very well for the nine

1404
01:05:14,400 --> 01:05:16,840
Speaker 2: months that I was pregnant. Once my son was born

1405
01:05:16,880 --> 01:05:20,080
Speaker 2: in twenty twenty two, my ex made any and every

1406
01:05:20,200 --> 01:05:23,560
Speaker 2: excuse to bunk off work, and the excuse was usually

1407
01:05:23,600 --> 01:05:27,400
Speaker 2: always saying that I was to blame. Our relationship started deteriorating.

1408
01:05:27,440 --> 01:05:29,800
Speaker 2: In August of twenty twenty two, I had a friend

1409
01:05:29,840 --> 01:05:32,840
Speaker 2: who lives in another country travel to England and stay

1410
01:05:32,880 --> 01:05:35,120
Speaker 2: with me at this time. During this time, my ex's

1411
01:05:35,160 --> 01:05:38,880
Speaker 2: best friend continuously hounded me, requesting me to ask my

1412
01:05:38,920 --> 01:05:41,200
Speaker 2: friends stupid and rude questions that I did not feel

1413
01:05:41,240 --> 01:05:45,000
Speaker 2: comfortable asking, so naturally, I said no. Towards the end

1414
01:05:45,040 --> 01:05:47,320
Speaker 2: of my friend's day, he asked me again to ask

1415
01:05:47,360 --> 01:05:51,800
Speaker 2: these same rude questions and I snapped. I started rationally shouting.

1416
01:05:51,920 --> 01:05:55,480
Speaker 2: I said no, no means no, stop asking what are

1417
01:05:55,480 --> 01:05:58,600
Speaker 2: these questions that he's asking out of nowhere. Another friend

1418
01:05:58,600 --> 01:06:00,560
Speaker 2: of mine ex, who was un a aware of what

1419
01:06:00,600 --> 01:06:03,040
Speaker 2: was going on, she shouted, oh, b you're a bee,

1420
01:06:03,720 --> 01:06:07,280
Speaker 2: and my ex didn't say a word. From there onward,

1421
01:06:07,400 --> 01:06:11,360
Speaker 2: our relationship was strained. He never defended me. Fast forward

1422
01:06:11,400 --> 01:06:14,560
Speaker 2: a couple of months later, October twenty twenty two, we

1423
01:06:14,720 --> 01:06:18,040
Speaker 2: got the VID. Because of this, though, the restrictions had

1424
01:06:18,160 --> 01:06:20,480
Speaker 2: very much lightened and we were not being told to

1425
01:06:20,520 --> 01:06:23,480
Speaker 2: stay home at this point, I actually still worked through

1426
01:06:23,520 --> 01:06:25,840
Speaker 2: this entire time because I was told I would be

1427
01:06:25,880 --> 01:06:29,640
Speaker 2: fired if I didn't. I soon left this job. My ex,

1428
01:06:29,680 --> 01:06:31,640
Speaker 2: of course, did not go to work during this period

1429
01:06:31,680 --> 01:06:34,160
Speaker 2: of time because of this. His boss said that it

1430
01:06:34,200 --> 01:06:37,280
Speaker 2: was the final straw and let him go. My ex

1431
01:06:37,360 --> 01:06:39,480
Speaker 2: tried to do some tentwork here and there so we

1432
01:06:39,520 --> 01:06:42,200
Speaker 2: had an income, but wasn't really bothered about showing up

1433
01:06:42,240 --> 01:06:44,360
Speaker 2: and going. After about three and a half weeks of

1434
01:06:44,440 --> 01:06:46,560
Speaker 2: him doing tent work, we were offered the keys to

1435
01:06:46,600 --> 01:06:49,280
Speaker 2: our flat. At this point, he never went back to work.

1436
01:06:49,840 --> 01:06:52,440
Speaker 2: I was in between leaving my previous job and starting

1437
01:06:52,440 --> 01:06:55,160
Speaker 2: my new job, which I currently still work at, and

1438
01:06:55,200 --> 01:06:59,400
Speaker 2: we used this small time to move into our flat paint, lay, flooring,

1439
01:06:59,480 --> 01:07:01,880
Speaker 2: et cetera. From the point where I went back to

1440
01:07:01,920 --> 01:07:05,080
Speaker 2: work he was supposed to do the same. Within a

1441
01:07:05,080 --> 01:07:07,200
Speaker 2: few weeks, he decided that he wanted to be a

1442
01:07:07,240 --> 01:07:09,919
Speaker 2: stay home dad. He's like, I don't know, the job

1443
01:07:09,960 --> 01:07:13,200
Speaker 2: thing's not really working out for me, so I'm just

1444
01:07:13,280 --> 01:07:14,080
Speaker 2: gonna stay here.

1445
01:07:14,360 --> 01:07:18,360
Speaker 1: Yeah. I've heard that taking care of a baby's way

1446
01:07:18,480 --> 01:07:21,520
Speaker 1: easier than having a job, so I guess I'll just

1447
01:07:21,640 --> 01:07:22,040
Speaker 1: do that.

1448
01:07:22,600 --> 01:07:25,920
Speaker 2: I also don't think they've had the baby yet.

1449
01:07:26,120 --> 01:07:28,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, And he's like, I'm just gonna warm up.

1450
01:07:28,680 --> 01:07:31,000
Speaker 2: Yeah. I don't want to like go into it dry,

1451
01:07:31,200 --> 01:07:31,400
Speaker 2: you know.

1452
01:07:31,840 --> 01:07:34,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to have some experience under my belt.

1453
01:07:34,560 --> 01:07:36,840
Speaker 1: There be in a state home net, which is where

1454
01:07:36,880 --> 01:07:39,760
Speaker 1: you'll be growing the baby once we have one. I

1455
01:07:39,840 --> 01:07:43,200
Speaker 1: also want to clarify I don't think raising a baby's easy.

1456
01:07:43,360 --> 01:07:46,480
Speaker 1: I was speaking in character as the dumb guy.

1457
01:07:46,520 --> 01:07:48,479
Speaker 2: Giving him a chance to prove that this was better

1458
01:07:48,520 --> 01:07:50,880
Speaker 2: for our family than sending my son to a nursery

1459
01:07:51,040 --> 01:07:54,640
Speaker 2: or child minder. I allowed this. Oh boy, was that

1460
01:07:54,760 --> 01:07:58,120
Speaker 2: a mistake. I would go to work every day Monday

1461
01:07:58,120 --> 01:08:00,960
Speaker 2: through Friday, eight thirty to five, whilst my ex stayed

1462
01:08:00,960 --> 01:08:03,840
Speaker 2: home with our sons. Okay, so the baby has a ride.

1463
01:08:04,000 --> 01:08:06,080
Speaker 2: He would stick our son in one of those baby

1464
01:08:06,080 --> 01:08:08,520
Speaker 2: play pens with the TV on something like Miss Rachel

1465
01:08:08,640 --> 01:08:11,800
Speaker 2: or Blues Clues, whilst he sat at his computer playing

1466
01:08:11,960 --> 01:08:15,520
Speaker 2: video games like Fortnite or Minecraft. So he's not parenting.

1467
01:08:15,800 --> 01:08:17,799
Speaker 1: He's learning how to take care of a whole world.

1468
01:08:17,880 --> 01:08:21,160
Speaker 2: These are skills that he can bring into any field

1469
01:08:21,320 --> 01:08:21,719
Speaker 2: of work.

1470
01:08:21,840 --> 01:08:25,599
Speaker 1: He's learning how to garden, how to build houses, like

1471
01:08:25,640 --> 01:08:27,760
Speaker 1: he's going to be a one stop shop for he

1472
01:08:27,800 --> 01:08:30,639
Speaker 1: could build a cabin out in the woods. Fortnite, He's

1473
01:08:30,760 --> 01:08:34,439
Speaker 1: actually on there talking to the seven year olds and

1474
01:08:34,520 --> 01:08:35,840
Speaker 1: eight year olds who play that game.

1475
01:08:35,960 --> 01:08:38,120
Speaker 2: He's like, do you have a good relationship with your father?

1476
01:08:38,720 --> 01:08:40,639
Speaker 2: How can I have a good relationship with my son?

1477
01:08:40,880 --> 01:08:44,599
Speaker 1: He's like likes, dislikes, Yeah, you know what can I do?

1478
01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:48,559
Speaker 1: You know what are we feeling? Oh? Keep playing Fortnite. Nice.

1479
01:08:49,320 --> 01:08:51,000
Speaker 2: I would come home from work and I would have

1480
01:08:51,040 --> 01:08:53,280
Speaker 2: to cook, clean and care for my son who had

1481
01:08:53,280 --> 01:08:57,200
Speaker 2: been neglected almost all day. I'm sorry that happened more

1482
01:08:57,280 --> 01:09:00,839
Speaker 2: than once and you didn't go WHOA, Well, my child

1483
01:09:00,920 --> 01:09:04,160
Speaker 2: is unsafe. I need to get out of here, like

1484
01:09:04,520 --> 01:09:08,160
Speaker 2: I can't imagine knowing that my child is being neglected,

1485
01:09:08,400 --> 01:09:10,040
Speaker 2: and not immediately saying.

1486
01:09:09,880 --> 01:09:11,519
Speaker 1: Whoa, whoa, we need to have a.

1487
01:09:11,439 --> 01:09:14,280
Speaker 2: Really serious conversation because you're not doing anything that you

1488
01:09:14,320 --> 01:09:14,840
Speaker 2: said you would.

1489
01:09:14,960 --> 01:09:18,200
Speaker 1: Maybe she's just weighing it against the option of like, well,

1490
01:09:18,439 --> 01:09:20,639
Speaker 1: I keep letting him play Fortnite, and then he wins

1491
01:09:20,680 --> 01:09:23,599
Speaker 1: the Fortnite Championship and we get, you know, one hundred

1492
01:09:23,640 --> 01:09:26,080
Speaker 1: million dollars exactly long term, did he give all those

1493
01:09:26,120 --> 01:09:28,639
Speaker 1: V books to a son? Yeah, exactly. These V books

1494
01:09:28,640 --> 01:09:29,400
Speaker 1: are for my boy.

1495
01:09:29,600 --> 01:09:32,160
Speaker 2: I'm putting them into a college fund, a V Books

1496
01:09:32,200 --> 01:09:32,800
Speaker 2: college fund.

1497
01:09:32,920 --> 01:09:35,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, We're gonna go to college in Fortnite.

1498
01:09:35,439 --> 01:09:37,439
Speaker 2: I would then have to organize myself for work the

1499
01:09:37,439 --> 01:09:40,800
Speaker 2: next day, prep lunches, wash my hair, et cetera, all

1500
01:09:40,840 --> 01:09:43,320
Speaker 2: while he would still be sat on his computer playing

1501
01:09:43,360 --> 01:09:47,240
Speaker 2: Fortnite or Minecraft. He was not contributing towards the upbringing

1502
01:09:47,280 --> 01:09:50,599
Speaker 2: of our son, and he was not contributing financially. Fast

1503
01:09:50,640 --> 01:09:53,240
Speaker 2: forward again to February twenty twenty three. We had been

1504
01:09:53,320 --> 01:09:56,320
Speaker 2: in this cycle since the end of November twenty twenty two,

1505
01:09:56,640 --> 01:09:59,240
Speaker 2: and I was at my wits end. I communicated on

1506
01:09:59,320 --> 01:10:05,439
Speaker 2: multiple occasion about how I felt overworked overtired, overlooked. I

1507
01:10:05,479 --> 01:10:08,600
Speaker 2: needed help with the flat, our son and ensuring the

1508
01:10:08,640 --> 01:10:11,640
Speaker 2: bills were being paid. I had a number of conversations

1509
01:10:11,640 --> 01:10:14,760
Speaker 2: with my ex about this. These conversations typically would be

1510
01:10:14,880 --> 01:10:17,920
Speaker 2: shrugged off or he would laugh at me. What he's

1511
01:10:18,080 --> 01:10:21,120
Speaker 2: obviously the bad guy here, obviously, But I just like,

1512
01:10:21,479 --> 01:10:25,200
Speaker 2: if your partner is shrugging off or laughing at you

1513
01:10:25,280 --> 01:10:28,120
Speaker 2: about your concerns about them neglecting your child while you're

1514
01:10:28,160 --> 01:10:31,240
Speaker 2: not there, then that relationship isn't working clearly, and you

1515
01:10:31,240 --> 01:10:33,160
Speaker 2: need to leave. You're already a single mother.

1516
01:10:33,479 --> 01:10:36,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, It's like, I question what situation would cause you

1517
01:10:36,280 --> 01:10:38,320
Speaker 1: to stay in that. He's not making any money, he's

1518
01:10:38,400 --> 01:10:40,960
Speaker 1: not bringing any security to the relationship.

1519
01:10:41,040 --> 01:10:41,400
Speaker 2: Sucks.

1520
01:10:41,520 --> 01:10:44,360
Speaker 1: He doesn't own the property you're living in, right, It's like,

1521
01:10:44,800 --> 01:10:48,840
Speaker 1: so leaving this guy would essentially do nothing but improve

1522
01:10:49,439 --> 01:10:52,160
Speaker 1: you and your child's situation because you don't have to

1523
01:10:52,200 --> 01:10:56,240
Speaker 1: feed this parasite that is just leeching off of you. Yeah.

1524
01:10:56,280 --> 01:10:58,559
Speaker 2: One morning, at the beginning of February, we had a

1525
01:10:58,680 --> 01:11:02,080
Speaker 2: very large and very verbally explosive argument because one of

1526
01:11:02,080 --> 01:11:04,680
Speaker 2: our bills had bounced after being assured the money was

1527
01:11:04,680 --> 01:11:07,280
Speaker 2: in his bank account to pay for it. I expressed

1528
01:11:07,439 --> 01:11:10,599
Speaker 2: that I was unhappy in the situation and something needed

1529
01:11:10,600 --> 01:11:13,160
Speaker 2: to change once again, and at this point I made

1530
01:11:13,200 --> 01:11:15,760
Speaker 2: the decision to call it. I said, I'm done. We

1531
01:11:15,920 --> 01:11:20,240
Speaker 2: are done, finally, I asked him, in a very colorful manner,

1532
01:11:20,360 --> 01:11:22,759
Speaker 2: told him to f off to leave. At this point,

1533
01:11:22,800 --> 01:11:25,480
Speaker 2: he did not realize that this was me ending the relationship.

1534
01:11:25,680 --> 01:11:27,880
Speaker 2: I had come to the decision that our son deserved

1535
01:11:27,920 --> 01:11:31,200
Speaker 2: too happy parents, even if that meant we were not together.

1536
01:11:31,439 --> 01:11:34,240
Speaker 2: We had this tense and awkward atmosphere that continued for

1537
01:11:34,280 --> 01:11:37,040
Speaker 2: a number of days, including on my birthday a few

1538
01:11:37,120 --> 01:11:39,840
Speaker 2: days later, where he proceeded to question what my.

1539
01:11:39,880 --> 01:11:43,639
Speaker 1: Problem was, literally, you do you're my problem? You being

1540
01:11:43,680 --> 01:11:45,520
Speaker 1: married to use a problem.

1541
01:11:45,120 --> 01:11:47,800
Speaker 2: Which created another argument and caused me to cry. On

1542
01:11:47,880 --> 01:11:50,240
Speaker 2: what was my twenty fifth birthday, we were having a

1543
01:11:50,280 --> 01:11:54,560
Speaker 2: small celebration that was pre planned before the breakup in quotations.

1544
01:11:54,840 --> 01:11:57,840
Speaker 2: As again, he did not realize that was me ending things.

1545
01:11:57,880 --> 01:12:00,840
Speaker 2: Y'll need to clarify asap, so we sucked it up

1546
01:12:00,840 --> 01:12:03,240
Speaker 2: for the celebration. I waited a few more days to

1547
01:12:03,280 --> 01:12:06,000
Speaker 2: sit him down and have a conversation. I reiterated him

1548
01:12:06,040 --> 01:12:08,719
Speaker 2: calmly how I felt and explained that when I said

1549
01:12:08,720 --> 01:12:11,040
Speaker 2: that I was done and we were done, that was

1550
01:12:11,120 --> 01:12:13,719
Speaker 2: me ending the relationship. Oh, He's like, so you remember

1551
01:12:13,720 --> 01:12:15,960
Speaker 2: when I said that we were done and all of

1552
01:12:16,000 --> 01:12:18,920
Speaker 2: this was done, that was me saying that we're done.

1553
01:12:19,000 --> 01:12:21,559
Speaker 1: Are you doing it again? Yeah, you're doing it again.

1554
01:12:21,680 --> 01:12:24,840
Speaker 1: That's a classic joke, babe, for real. So what are

1555
01:12:24,840 --> 01:12:26,120
Speaker 1: we gonna get for dinner? What are you making?

1556
01:12:26,280 --> 01:12:28,559
Speaker 2: And then she just kind of goes back into it seems,

1557
01:12:28,600 --> 01:12:30,800
Speaker 2: and she's like, yeah, I guess I'll go. I did

1558
01:12:30,800 --> 01:12:32,880
Speaker 2: not want to be with him anymore, and our relationship

1559
01:12:32,920 --> 01:12:35,840
Speaker 2: was destroying me and would destroy our son as he

1560
01:12:35,920 --> 01:12:38,519
Speaker 2: grew up. After a couple of months, we found ourselves

1561
01:12:38,560 --> 01:12:41,240
Speaker 2: in new relationships. He moved in with his partner to

1562
01:12:41,240 --> 01:12:43,160
Speaker 2: get out of our flat. I was going to allow

1563
01:12:43,240 --> 01:12:44,920
Speaker 2: him to keep the flat as he was home with

1564
01:12:44,960 --> 01:12:47,639
Speaker 2: our son five days a week doing what Why are

1565
01:12:47,680 --> 01:12:49,599
Speaker 2: you still letting him watch your son?

1566
01:12:49,920 --> 01:12:52,320
Speaker 1: He's not even watching He's not even watching your son.

1567
01:12:52,520 --> 01:12:55,360
Speaker 1: He's got like a mirror. He's in the same similar

1568
01:12:55,439 --> 01:12:58,639
Speaker 1: science over at the mirror while he's playing video games.

1569
01:12:58,640 --> 01:13:00,320
Speaker 1: He like looks and he's like, all right, the still

1570
01:13:00,320 --> 01:13:01,439
Speaker 1: where I left it? Cool?

1571
01:13:01,479 --> 01:13:04,200
Speaker 2: Well, when I started dating somebody. We had one intimate

1572
01:13:04,280 --> 01:13:06,280
Speaker 2: night that led me to me getting pregnant, and my

1573
01:13:06,360 --> 01:13:08,960
Speaker 2: ex made the decision to surrender the flat to me.

1574
01:13:09,240 --> 01:13:12,679
Speaker 2: From about May twenty twenty three to April twenty twenty four,

1575
01:13:12,880 --> 01:13:15,360
Speaker 2: my son lived with his dad and his dad's girlfriend,

1576
01:13:15,400 --> 01:13:17,800
Speaker 2: which I did not approve of, Monday through Friday, and

1577
01:13:17,880 --> 01:13:20,360
Speaker 2: stayed with me on the weekends. I soon went on

1578
01:13:20,439 --> 01:13:23,400
Speaker 2: maternity leave from work, and after having my second child,

1579
01:13:23,600 --> 01:13:26,679
Speaker 2: now one, we made the decision in December twenty twenty

1580
01:13:26,680 --> 01:13:29,240
Speaker 2: three that we would change from our current arrangement to

1581
01:13:29,280 --> 01:13:32,479
Speaker 2: share our son fifty to fifty. For clarification, the entire

1582
01:13:32,600 --> 01:13:35,120
Speaker 2: time I X had my son seventy thirty, I paid

1583
01:13:35,200 --> 01:13:37,960
Speaker 2: child maintenance for him. If he needed anything like extra

1584
01:13:37,960 --> 01:13:40,360
Speaker 2: food or nappies, et cetera, all he needed to do

1585
01:13:40,479 --> 01:13:43,160
Speaker 2: was ask and I sent more money to him. In

1586
01:13:43,200 --> 01:13:45,519
Speaker 2: March twenty twenty four, my ex ended up getting a

1587
01:13:45,560 --> 01:13:48,599
Speaker 2: new job, short lived as he was fired within four weeks.

1588
01:13:48,920 --> 01:13:50,280
Speaker 1: No way will's working.

1589
01:13:50,320 --> 01:13:53,320
Speaker 2: His girlfriend was going through some sort of mental health crisis.

1590
01:13:53,560 --> 01:13:55,840
Speaker 2: I sympathize with this as I do struggle with my

1591
01:13:55,880 --> 01:13:58,840
Speaker 2: mental health, but with the situation my son was put

1592
01:13:58,880 --> 01:14:01,679
Speaker 2: in Because of this, I was angry. At the beginning

1593
01:14:01,680 --> 01:14:04,439
Speaker 2: of April twenty twenty four, my ex texted me to

1594
01:14:04,439 --> 01:14:06,320
Speaker 2: tell me that our son needed to stay with me

1595
01:14:06,800 --> 01:14:10,479
Speaker 2: one hundred percent of the time as his girlfriend did

1596
01:14:10,479 --> 01:14:13,320
Speaker 2: not want him in her house. This guy's a terrible father.

1597
01:14:13,520 --> 01:14:16,880
Speaker 2: What I respected that and welcome my son in with

1598
01:14:17,160 --> 01:14:20,120
Speaker 2: very happy, wide open arms. At this point, I was

1599
01:14:20,120 --> 01:14:23,400
Speaker 2: promised two hundred pounds of child maintenance a month. I

1600
01:14:23,439 --> 01:14:25,760
Speaker 2: did not receive a single penny from April twenty twenty

1601
01:14:25,800 --> 01:14:28,840
Speaker 2: four to February twenty twenty five. He doesn't have money

1602
01:14:29,000 --> 01:14:30,400
Speaker 2: because he doesn't have a job.

1603
01:14:30,600 --> 01:14:33,640
Speaker 1: Shouldn't his parents be helping him pay that? Shouldn't he

1604
01:14:33,800 --> 01:14:37,120
Speaker 1: like keep his job well? As you know, his girlfriend

1605
01:14:37,360 --> 01:14:39,760
Speaker 1: was going through a mental health crisis, which means he

1606
01:14:39,800 --> 01:14:40,880
Speaker 1: has to be unemployed.

1607
01:14:41,000 --> 01:14:43,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, He's like, I have to help her, and by

1608
01:14:44,000 --> 01:14:45,719
Speaker 2: help I mean play more Minecraft.

1609
01:14:46,120 --> 01:14:48,400
Speaker 1: I have to be there for her in my room

1610
01:14:48,439 --> 01:14:50,120
Speaker 1: playing Fortnite.

1611
01:14:49,800 --> 01:14:51,599
Speaker 2: Kind of like a body doubling. But I'm in the

1612
01:14:51,640 --> 01:14:54,640
Speaker 2: next room and she's crying and I'm playing Minecraft.

1613
01:14:54,720 --> 01:14:56,599
Speaker 1: One day, when you're really in love, you'll understand.

1614
01:14:56,800 --> 01:15:00,120
Speaker 2: From roughly May twenty twenty four, our arrangement changed and

1615
01:15:00,160 --> 01:15:02,720
Speaker 2: my ex started to have my son again on weekends.

1616
01:15:03,080 --> 01:15:05,759
Speaker 2: Within a few weeks, he became less consistent with picking

1617
01:15:05,760 --> 01:15:08,559
Speaker 2: my son up. He would be late, make excuses at

1618
01:15:08,560 --> 01:15:11,920
Speaker 2: the very last minute, or just not show up at all. Now,

1619
01:15:12,000 --> 01:15:13,800
Speaker 2: if he had said to me, I don't really care

1620
01:15:13,840 --> 01:15:16,240
Speaker 2: about seeing her son, I would not have cared and

1621
01:15:16,280 --> 01:15:18,640
Speaker 2: I would have said no worries. He was due to

1622
01:15:18,640 --> 01:15:21,719
Speaker 2: pick up our son in the mid afternoon every Friday

1623
01:15:21,800 --> 01:15:24,040
Speaker 2: and drop him off the same time on Sunday. The

1624
01:15:24,080 --> 01:15:26,479
Speaker 2: pickup time was agreed to be mid afternoon because he

1625
01:15:26,560 --> 01:15:28,960
Speaker 2: was unable to wake up before twelve.

1626
01:15:28,680 --> 01:15:33,920
Speaker 1: Pm too much g fuel and child doctor's orders. I

1627
01:15:33,960 --> 01:15:35,920
Speaker 1: had to sleep in till noon.

1628
01:15:36,000 --> 01:15:38,400
Speaker 2: The excuses he would give me would always be along

1629
01:15:38,439 --> 01:15:41,320
Speaker 2: the lines of girlfriends not well, or I don't feel well,

1630
01:15:41,439 --> 01:15:44,040
Speaker 2: or girlfriends in a bad place. So he just alternates.

1631
01:15:44,040 --> 01:15:45,920
Speaker 2: He's like, yeah, I'm not real feeling up to it.

1632
01:15:46,040 --> 01:15:48,120
Speaker 2: My girlfriend's not feeling up to it. And read that

1633
01:15:48,240 --> 01:15:50,560
Speaker 2: last there's one more the last week. We need to

1634
01:15:50,600 --> 01:15:53,760
Speaker 2: clean our house. Sorry, spring cleaning. Gotta do this cleaning,

1635
01:15:53,840 --> 01:15:56,519
Speaker 2: gotta clean It's February, and he's like, well, never start

1636
01:15:56,560 --> 01:15:56,960
Speaker 2: too early.

1637
01:15:57,280 --> 01:15:58,960
Speaker 1: Well, it's spring somewhere, you know what I mean.

1638
01:15:59,080 --> 01:16:02,160
Speaker 2: They are both on employed and have no responsibilities Monday

1639
01:16:02,160 --> 01:16:05,240
Speaker 2: through Friday during the day, So this created some confusion

1640
01:16:05,439 --> 01:16:07,600
Speaker 2: with why they specifically had to clean the house on

1641
01:16:07,640 --> 01:16:10,120
Speaker 2: the weekends and why it couldn't be done during the week.

1642
01:16:10,280 --> 01:16:13,080
Speaker 2: How are they both unemployed? Are they living off the

1643
01:16:13,160 --> 01:16:14,840
Speaker 2: child support money that you're sending?

1644
01:16:15,120 --> 01:16:18,400
Speaker 1: No, they're at his day. It's either his dad's or

1645
01:16:18,439 --> 01:16:20,400
Speaker 1: his girlfriend's death. I'd assume it's his day.

1646
01:16:20,479 --> 01:16:25,960
Speaker 2: Crazy man, that's crazy. They're both unemployed and he's still

1647
01:16:26,000 --> 01:16:27,120
Speaker 2: taking care of their son.

1648
01:16:27,439 --> 01:16:29,799
Speaker 1: Bad day? What are you doing again?

1649
01:16:29,840 --> 01:16:32,479
Speaker 2: I wouldn't have cared otherwise, But all while he was

1650
01:16:32,479 --> 01:16:34,920
Speaker 2: doing this, he was also telling people. We both knew

1651
01:16:34,960 --> 01:16:36,920
Speaker 2: that I was taking his son away from him and

1652
01:16:36,960 --> 01:16:39,400
Speaker 2: stopped him from seeing him, which was never the case.

1653
01:16:39,720 --> 01:16:43,439
Speaker 2: This carried on for months. In January twenty twenty five,

1654
01:16:43,520 --> 01:16:45,479
Speaker 2: we had a chat and both agreed that the way

1655
01:16:45,520 --> 01:16:48,839
Speaker 2: things had happened over the last year needed to change

1656
01:16:49,240 --> 01:16:51,960
Speaker 2: and we needed to cooperate better. We agreed that our

1657
01:16:51,960 --> 01:16:54,360
Speaker 2: son needed to see us get along and co parent

1658
01:16:54,439 --> 01:16:56,800
Speaker 2: in a way that prioritized him. I feel as so

1659
01:16:56,960 --> 01:16:59,639
Speaker 2: my son has always been my priority, but for my ex.

1660
01:16:59,680 --> 01:17:01,840
Speaker 2: I don't feel like this has been the case. Within

1661
01:17:01,880 --> 01:17:05,240
Speaker 2: the first six weeks of January, the same thing continued.

1662
01:17:05,479 --> 01:17:08,120
Speaker 2: Out of the six weeks, he picked our son up

1663
01:17:08,200 --> 01:17:11,000
Speaker 2: on three. Two of the weeks he made some sort

1664
01:17:11,040 --> 01:17:13,439
Speaker 2: of excuse, and one of those weeks he just didn't

1665
01:17:13,439 --> 01:17:16,200
Speaker 2: bother shown up. I decided at this point that for

1666
01:17:16,240 --> 01:17:18,960
Speaker 2: our son's sake, this couldn't carry on this way, and

1667
01:17:19,040 --> 01:17:20,519
Speaker 2: I saw legal advice.

1668
01:17:21,080 --> 01:17:24,400
Speaker 1: Finally, we're in the right place now, like took.

1669
01:17:24,200 --> 01:17:27,919
Speaker 2: A long time. The solicitor advised me to try initially

1670
01:17:27,960 --> 01:17:31,320
Speaker 2: to reduce contact with my ex instead of every weekend,

1671
01:17:31,360 --> 01:17:34,519
Speaker 2: to try every other weekend. My ex refuse this idea.

1672
01:17:34,680 --> 01:17:37,240
Speaker 2: The next advice was to go to meditation. I have

1673
01:17:37,360 --> 01:17:40,240
Speaker 2: made contact with some meditation companies in our area, but

1674
01:17:40,280 --> 01:17:42,240
Speaker 2: I'm still waiting to hear from them to get the

1675
01:17:42,280 --> 01:17:44,839
Speaker 2: show on the road. I'm sure your solicitor was like, Okay,

1676
01:17:45,160 --> 01:17:48,200
Speaker 2: one you can try and change your custody, or two

1677
01:17:48,360 --> 01:17:50,360
Speaker 2: you can meditate and that's kind of it.

1678
01:17:50,520 --> 01:17:54,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, two you can try to achieve nirvanaantline your chalk

1679
01:17:54,479 --> 01:17:55,400
Speaker 1: resus on that one.

1680
01:17:55,479 --> 01:17:57,960
Speaker 2: That'll probably help you. The solicitor also advised me to

1681
01:17:58,000 --> 01:18:00,840
Speaker 2: go through the child maintenance service apply for him to

1682
01:18:00,880 --> 01:18:04,360
Speaker 2: pay me child maintenance. This would then ensure I was

1683
01:18:04,400 --> 01:18:06,720
Speaker 2: receiving a financial help for a son. With this, he

1684
01:18:06,760 --> 01:18:09,720
Speaker 2: paid one month's worth of child maintenance and quit his

1685
01:18:09,800 --> 01:18:12,640
Speaker 2: most recent job after two shifts so he didn't have

1686
01:18:12,680 --> 01:18:14,880
Speaker 2: to pay me. Within the last twelve months, I have

1687
01:18:14,960 --> 01:18:17,599
Speaker 2: received a total of thirty five pounds to help buy

1688
01:18:17,600 --> 01:18:20,160
Speaker 2: the things our three year old needs, which is most

1689
01:18:20,280 --> 01:18:24,160
Speaker 2: certainly not enough. I have had to pay for everything

1690
01:18:24,200 --> 01:18:27,479
Speaker 2: on my own. Food, dairy free alternatives for his milk,

1691
01:18:27,560 --> 01:18:32,880
Speaker 2: allergy clothes, nappies and potty training pants, wipes, toys, childcare costs,

1692
01:18:32,920 --> 01:18:35,800
Speaker 2: travel costs, petrol, et cetera to get from A to b,

1693
01:18:36,080 --> 01:18:38,880
Speaker 2: gas to keep our boiler on, electricity to ensure we

1694
01:18:38,880 --> 01:18:42,120
Speaker 2: can cook food, et cetera. And a roof over his head.

1695
01:18:42,320 --> 01:18:44,400
Speaker 1: No, guys, no, no, no, don't laugh at that, because

1696
01:18:44,400 --> 01:18:47,320
Speaker 1: we knew that the whole time. That was the joke, right, No,

1697
01:18:47,680 --> 01:18:50,679
Speaker 1: I just so read it wrong. No no, no no.

1698
01:18:50,840 --> 01:18:54,919
Speaker 2: My eyes glazed over and I read meditation. It literally

1699
01:18:55,000 --> 01:18:58,000
Speaker 2: says mediation, but I put a tea in there and

1700
01:18:58,040 --> 01:19:02,080
Speaker 2: I read it as meditation. Being funny. We were being funny, guys.

1701
01:19:02,160 --> 01:19:06,559
Speaker 2: I was so thoroughly convinced that that said meditation. By

1702
01:19:06,600 --> 01:19:09,280
Speaker 2: this time next year he will be in school and

1703
01:19:09,320 --> 01:19:11,640
Speaker 2: will need a school uniform that will come out of

1704
01:19:11,680 --> 01:19:14,599
Speaker 2: my pocket too, with no help from him. I have

1705
01:19:14,640 --> 01:19:17,160
Speaker 2: absolutely no issue with going out of pocket to ensure

1706
01:19:17,160 --> 01:19:20,240
Speaker 2: my son has everything he needs. I do strongly believe

1707
01:19:20,280 --> 01:19:21,639
Speaker 2: that it takes two to tango.

1708
01:19:22,040 --> 01:19:25,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, it does. If you're not practicing in the mirror

1709
01:19:25,080 --> 01:19:25,719
Speaker 1: by yourself.

1710
01:19:25,840 --> 01:19:28,439
Speaker 2: It is as much his responsibility as it is mine

1711
01:19:28,520 --> 01:19:31,439
Speaker 2: to ensure son has everything he needs. Whilst waiting for

1712
01:19:31,520 --> 01:19:35,160
Speaker 2: the mediation to progress, this weekend, my ex decided to

1713
01:19:35,240 --> 01:19:37,720
Speaker 2: inform me that for the previous weekends he has had

1714
01:19:37,720 --> 01:19:40,519
Speaker 2: our son, he has chosen to ignore the fact that

1715
01:19:40,600 --> 01:19:43,479
Speaker 2: our son has an allergy to dary, meaning he has

1716
01:19:43,520 --> 01:19:46,839
Speaker 2: given our son normal milk and cheese. The days following

1717
01:19:46,880 --> 01:19:50,040
Speaker 2: my son's return from his dad, he had horrific diarrhea

1718
01:19:50,040 --> 01:19:52,760
Speaker 2: because of this. Because of the type of allergy my

1719
01:19:52,840 --> 01:19:56,240
Speaker 2: son has, non edge, there's no way to medically prove

1720
01:19:56,320 --> 01:20:00,679
Speaker 2: the allergy. It has a name, and also, like medically,

1721
01:20:00,760 --> 01:20:04,680
Speaker 2: you can just know that when he has dairy he

1722
01:20:04,800 --> 01:20:06,160
Speaker 2: reacts terribly to it.

1723
01:20:06,320 --> 01:20:09,759
Speaker 1: Non isommetric diametric Goop.

1724
01:20:09,920 --> 01:20:12,360
Speaker 2: The way it is diagnosed is purely based on the

1725
01:20:12,400 --> 01:20:15,400
Speaker 2: symptoms mucus in the stool, blood in the stool, rash

1726
01:20:15,479 --> 01:20:18,519
Speaker 2: is an exzma, and so on that feels medically proven.

1727
01:20:18,600 --> 01:20:21,840
Speaker 2: Because this can't be medically proven like with a blood test,

1728
01:20:21,960 --> 01:20:24,479
Speaker 2: my ex refuses to believe he has an allergy. The

1729
01:20:24,520 --> 01:20:26,759
Speaker 2: only way he will continue to keep our son dairy

1730
01:20:26,800 --> 01:20:29,439
Speaker 2: free is if I provide meaning I buy it and

1731
01:20:29,520 --> 01:20:32,200
Speaker 2: it comes out of my pocket him with all of

1732
01:20:32,240 --> 01:20:35,000
Speaker 2: the dairy alternatives he needs to feed him over the weekend.

1733
01:20:35,439 --> 01:20:39,479
Speaker 2: By the way, you can provide us with your ears

1734
01:20:39,880 --> 01:20:42,639
Speaker 2: and go listen to full episodes with stories just like this.

1735
01:20:42,840 --> 01:20:45,720
Speaker 2: Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and search

1736
01:20:45,720 --> 01:20:46,559
Speaker 2: your booka straight time.

1737
01:20:46,640 --> 01:20:47,479
Speaker 1: Give us your.

1738
01:20:47,439 --> 01:20:52,960
Speaker 2: Ears, friends, countrymen, romans, lend me your ears, and listen

1739
01:20:53,000 --> 01:20:55,840
Speaker 2: to full episodes of stories just like this. Anyway, there's

1740
01:20:55,920 --> 01:20:58,280
Speaker 2: a little bit more to this story. But do you

1741
01:20:58,280 --> 01:20:59,120
Speaker 2: have any final thoughts?

1742
01:20:59,200 --> 01:21:03,080
Speaker 1: First of all, I'm just like, Okay, clearly, dad, little absentee, right,

1743
01:21:03,160 --> 01:21:06,719
Speaker 1: little trash bag Dad. I'm pretty sure that whatever allergy

1744
01:21:06,800 --> 01:21:09,720
Speaker 1: your child has is provable or is an autoimmune thing.

1745
01:21:09,760 --> 01:21:11,160
Speaker 2: I don't know. I think it's just because it doesn't

1746
01:21:11,160 --> 01:21:13,080
Speaker 2: show up in blood tests, is what they're saying. There

1747
01:21:13,200 --> 01:21:16,040
Speaker 2: is a little bit left for the story. I am

1748
01:21:16,120 --> 01:21:18,280
Speaker 2: not in a position to do this when I'm the

1749
01:21:18,320 --> 01:21:20,360
Speaker 2: only one who provides for a son as it is.

1750
01:21:20,680 --> 01:21:22,240
Speaker 2: Would I be the a hole if I told my

1751
01:21:22,280 --> 01:21:24,799
Speaker 2: ex that he cannot have my son over the weekend anymore?

1752
01:21:25,360 --> 01:21:27,519
Speaker 2: How should I move forward with this? I really need

1753
01:21:27,560 --> 01:21:31,320
Speaker 2: some advice, thank you in advance. Ope, you need to

1754
01:21:31,400 --> 01:21:35,320
Speaker 2: get full custody if you can of your child, because one,

1755
01:21:35,479 --> 01:21:40,040
Speaker 2: you're the sole provider, your ex is actively ignoring allergies

1756
01:21:40,320 --> 01:21:43,080
Speaker 2: and is basically in neglecting it, doesn't have money to

1757
01:21:43,120 --> 01:21:46,120
Speaker 2: provide for his child. So like I feel, I mean,

1758
01:21:46,200 --> 01:21:48,800
Speaker 2: it seems like there's always something going on with these

1759
01:21:48,880 --> 01:21:52,400
Speaker 2: child you know, custody battles where there's a lot more

1760
01:21:52,439 --> 01:21:54,960
Speaker 2: going on and it's not a straightforward. But I feel

1761
01:21:55,000 --> 01:21:57,280
Speaker 2: like you have a very good case at the very least.

1762
01:21:57,520 --> 01:22:00,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, sounds pretty cut and dry to me. Dad, I

1763
01:22:00,080 --> 01:22:01,879
Speaker 1: don't want a dad. Why are we even pretending?

1764
01:22:02,240 --> 01:22:03,519
Speaker 2: Why are we trying to Dad?

1765
01:22:03,600 --> 01:22:05,160
Speaker 1: It's not even that he doesn't want a dad, he's

1766
01:22:05,280 --> 01:22:07,679
Speaker 1: actively like, give him my kid the runs.

1767
01:22:07,880 --> 01:22:11,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's actively being a bad dad, and that's messed up.