Speaker 1: Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home? Either way,
Speaker 1: we want to be there. Doesn't matter how much baggage
Speaker 1: you claim and give us time and a termino and
Speaker 1: Gaby aid we want to send you off in slive.
Speaker 1: We wanna welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.
Speaker 2: We scared her?
Speaker 1: Was it fine? Malborn? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do your need to ride?
Speaker 1: Ride with Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you need
Speaker 1: to ride? This is Chris Fairbanks and this is Karen Kilgariff.
Speaker 1: Will it be distracting if you glance over and see
Speaker 1: me in my new cop sunglasses?
Speaker 2: Yes, I will immediately throw my hands in the air.
Speaker 1: Well, that's okay. I can simply turn them one eddie
Speaker 1: and have them on the back of my head.
Speaker 3: My favorite Internet picture is somebody took a picture of
Speaker 3: a guy doing that in church and he's bald, so
Speaker 3: it looks like a little smiling head because he has
Speaker 3: wrinkles on the back.
Speaker 1: Of the Yeah, perfect hot dog wrinkles. Just a six
Speaker 1: pack of Francs.
Speaker 2: Just staring back at the person in the pew, behind him.
Speaker 1: Oh, but they work and the secret I've always wanted
Speaker 1: to be like a jet ski repair man.
Speaker 4: I mean, your.
Speaker 2: Dreams are coming true in this car right now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got myself everyone some Oakley wrap arounds for free.
Speaker 2: Chris is doing a hot Head summer.
Speaker 1: Those glasses, Yeah, yeah, I was looking for a summer theme.
Speaker 1: You know, we were late this year trying to come
Speaker 1: up with one, and mine's going to be these.
Speaker 2: Glasses Maga Republican summer.
Speaker 1: If anyone, I mean some people, it's how you wear them. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I put them on slightly crooked, like hey, I'm fun.
Speaker 3: Yes, and then people will know that you're not going
Speaker 3: to start a fight in the coffee bean and tea leave.
Speaker 1: I have noticed I've gotten some respectful glances from some Ruffians.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, people that aren't going to try it
Speaker 1: with you because of those glasses. Yeah. They command authority,
Speaker 1: Yeah do they?
Speaker 4: Though?
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe they're just nervous that I am
Speaker 1: who I appear to be a cop? I do? Yeah,
Speaker 1: but boy, I put these on and immediately could see better.
Speaker 1: They block out. I think they're also for fishing. Do
Speaker 1: they like a nice calm fisherman? Member one with nature.
Speaker 3: I mean, if every guy wearing Oakley blades was also
Speaker 3: a provable fishermen, nobody would be stressed out in public anymore.
Speaker 1: Exactly. All I have to do is start carrying a satchel, yeah,
Speaker 1: with lures, or a kind of hawkeye pierce hat with
Speaker 1: a bunch of lures on it. What if, just so
Speaker 1: I felt comfortable in my glasses, I started tying flies.
Speaker 1: Even though I do not fish, Even though I grew
Speaker 1: up in the river runs through a town of Missoula, Montana,
Speaker 1: I do not fish.
Speaker 2: How did you get around not fishing? Is because Jim didn't.
Speaker 1: Fish the right It is because my dad felt bad
Speaker 1: for even and so I was never forced to wake
Speaker 1: up at six am and go fishing. God, all of
Speaker 1: my friends' dads did that, of course, and now they fish. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I bet they do it well because it's kind of nice, right.
Speaker 1: I think the times I've done it, I've totally enjoyed it.
Speaker 1: But I I, you know, just because it was relaxing.
Speaker 1: But I can't imagine getting excited about it to where
Speaker 1: that's your thing. Yeah, Well, maybe you need it. Maybe
Speaker 1: maybe I do. Maybe I need a relaxing thing. Maybe
Speaker 1: you Yeah, something that isn't like competitive or score based
Speaker 1: or anything like. Right when you're fishing, it's just like, hey,
Speaker 1: look I got this big fish.
Speaker 3: That's why guys hold them up on dating apps. Right, look, girls,
Speaker 3: I got this sized salmon.
Speaker 1: I can't imagine, knowing my personality, that I wouldn't be
Speaker 1: mad if I caught a huge fish last year and
Speaker 1: never caught a huge fish again.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you would bring that furious energy into fishing.
Speaker 1: I would be furious. I'd be thinking of that.
Speaker 2: I'd be curious.
Speaker 1: Could get through this, Chris, it's not a word that
Speaker 1: starts with age. Furious. I'm unhappy. But yes, that's I
Speaker 1: had a couple of mental breakdowns while golfing, and so
Speaker 1: I've decided maybe that isn't my zen, But hey, I
Speaker 1: got these cool glasses.
Speaker 3: How Sorry, real quick, not to contradict you immediately, but
Speaker 3: the idea that you would ever think golfing would be
Speaker 3: zen when well, my dad player did it for a
Speaker 3: long time, golf for a long time. And it's that
Speaker 3: it feels to me like signing up and getting interested
Speaker 3: in a thing that you will basically always be relatively
Speaker 3: bad at. Yes, because to get good at something that
Speaker 3: difficult you're right.
Speaker 1: If I had thought about it that way before I started.
Speaker 1: It's too late because you hit it bad ten times
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden you hit it well
Speaker 1: and you're like, okay, I'm back, I'm addicted again.
Speaker 2: You get one going.
Speaker 1: Yeah I was. I was pretty hard on myself. I
Speaker 1: was almost driven back to the uh. I want to
Speaker 1: call it the lodge, the ski lodge, the nineteenth hole. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think I was affecting everyone's mood. Oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know you. No, I don't do that anymore.
Speaker 2: I just.
Speaker 1: Whisper horrid nothing. Yes, I sure we all throw golf
Speaker 1: clubs in the beginning. Sure, one time I threw one
Speaker 1: and it it appeared to have hit a squirrel and
Speaker 1: that bothered me for many years.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Good, but no, no more, No more throwing.
Speaker 2: Out of your system.
Speaker 1: Yes I did early on.
Speaker 3: But yeah, it's it seems to be tantrum worthy. I
Speaker 3: support your tantruming in that, because thank you. How fucking frustrating.
Speaker 1: My dad will always be like, come golfing with me.
Speaker 1: I'd be like, I do not get it really in
Speaker 1: any it seems like tennis, where it's hard to hold
Speaker 1: the golf club correctly. It's hard to hold a racket correctly. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it feels odd, And then that's how you're just starting.
Speaker 2: That's square one.
Speaker 1: Yeah. None of it is intuitive to anything you've done before,
Speaker 1: unless you grew up playing hockey, I suppose, and that
Speaker 1: grew up really rich or just with money for a bed. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I suppose my zen fishing thing is my skateboarding. I don't.
Speaker 1: I'm not competing. I'm only competing with myself. And today
Speaker 1: I did something I haven't done for fifteen years, just
Speaker 1: a trick, and it made me feel great?
Speaker 2: Was it a mick?
Speaker 4: Mick?
Speaker 1: A mixed twist is a five on a half pipe? Oh,
Speaker 1: so that you gotta be. I don't even know to
Speaker 1: drop in on those things?
Speaker 2: You don't.
Speaker 1: I could drop in, but then once I'm at the
Speaker 1: other side, what do I do?
Speaker 4: I panic?
Speaker 2: You turn real fast?
Speaker 1: They're twenty feet tall.
Speaker 2: Pizza French fries? Does that help it all?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Do the little power slides, I suppose. I suppose I
Speaker 1: could do that now, I've been meaning to. I got
Speaker 1: the pads.
Speaker 3: I guess I just assumed, because you do so much
Speaker 3: snowboarding and skateboarding that the halfpipe stuff I know, automatic.
Speaker 1: And it's lower impact. You can do it for longer.
Speaker 1: I need to get into it. A friend of mine
Speaker 1: that I follow on Instagram, so he's not really a
Speaker 1: friend because I've never met him. Just went to an
Speaker 1: adult skate camp wherever him was a grown up and
Speaker 1: they let you launch your body and to foam pits
Speaker 1: and harness hold your hands there you drop it. There
Speaker 1: are strong handed men that hold you for support, nice
Speaker 1: and bungee cords that they harnessed you. And then you
Speaker 1: skate a ramp and if you fall, you're like, you're
Speaker 1: you're less scared to fall, so you you learn your
Speaker 1: old tricks, right, And uh, that's cool. It looked very
Speaker 1: fun and it was four days. It's only five hundred bucks.
Speaker 1: They give you meals. What Yeah, I thought you were
Speaker 1: hands down. I thought you were to say it was
Speaker 1: like eight thousand. I'm going it's only five hundred. You
Speaker 1: should I will. I'm very excited already. I'm getting out
Speaker 1: here to drop me off at the bus station. I
Speaker 1: don't need any underwear.
Speaker 2: Where where does it take place?
Speaker 1: Well, there's Woodward West and Woodward East. Woodward East is
Speaker 1: in Philadelphia. I think that's where he went. And that's
Speaker 1: a big rib fancier one. But Woodward West is here
Speaker 1: in sunny Golden State, California. Oh, I'm not sure where,
Speaker 1: but I'll find it on a map and I'll drive there. Okay,
Speaker 1: and bring underwear? Mm hmm, that's all I have to bring.
Speaker 1: Give yourself at least four pair of underwear, yes, for
Speaker 1: each day, Yes, of course, because.
Speaker 3: You never know what's going to like to what it's
Speaker 3: going to be like to drop into that ball pit. Yeah,
Speaker 3: he could scare the living and literal shit at you.
Speaker 1: What he said was getting out of the foam. It's
Speaker 1: like blocks of foam. He said, getting out of it
Speaker 1: was like hiking a mountain, like it was very difficult
Speaker 1: to remove your body from a pit of foam cubes.
Speaker 2: How did don't they hoist you back out?
Speaker 1: I don't think there's there are these strong handed men
Speaker 1: that are there to help. Are just something I made up?
Speaker 1: Oh God, I know.
Speaker 3: Well now I'm not going. It's so sick of these
Speaker 3: fake strong handed men.
Speaker 1: Hi, I shut up for the strong handed men.
Speaker 3: I thought I'd be helped places with a hand on
Speaker 3: my lower back.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, I would buy no, But you do
Speaker 1: get enchiladas later. I can get those myself. I've already
Speaker 1: had them. I think I'm going to do that, so
Speaker 1: I'll let you know when I'm going to be gone
Speaker 1: for four days.
Speaker 2: Hey, if you own an independent business and you'd like
Speaker 2: to sponsor Chris as he goes to skateboarding adult man camp,
Speaker 2: then please write in at how.
Speaker 1: I think it'd be embarrassing. None of the other guys
Speaker 1: are going to have sponsors.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you'll have a sponsor. Meta Mucil will come through.
Speaker 1: They'll pay for that camp and some maybe some gear
Speaker 1: and get you some new some new sunglasses. It would
Speaker 1: be so funny if I was sponsored by Meta Mussel
Speaker 1: and I redid the one time I was in a
Speaker 1: skate competition in seventh grade, I went off a launch ramp.
Speaker 1: Those don't exist anymore. They just shoot you in the
Speaker 1: air and you land on flat ground and the impact
Speaker 1: I shot my little pants?
Speaker 2: Did you?
Speaker 1: In front of everyone? And I just skated off in
Speaker 1: the distance.
Speaker 2: How old?
Speaker 4: Sorry?
Speaker 1: Seventh grade? I think, oh that's not bad. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean it was too old to be doing that though.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but how do you add a bunch of prunes? Recently?
Speaker 1: I think it was probably something like that. There was
Speaker 1: an unguarded bag of runes and I just went to town.
Speaker 1: I don't know why I was irregular. No one knew, though,
Speaker 1: I just they thought it was funny that in the
Speaker 1: middle of my skate routine, we'll call it a routine.
Speaker 4: Sure, I just.
Speaker 1: Landed a trick and then skated off past the baseball
Speaker 1: fields and started walking down the street. And no one
Speaker 1: really knew why because it was It wasn't until four
Speaker 1: or five blocks away that it was actually probably visible
Speaker 1: from the outside. And then I continued to walk with
Speaker 1: that visibility smart on my Vision streetwear pants.
Speaker 2: But you're like, no, this is just a new design
Speaker 2: of this season.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I called all my friends. I'm like, does everyone know
Speaker 1: I shot myself? And I said no, we didn't know,
Speaker 1: but now we do.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 3: It's kind of ironic that Meta Mucal is sponsoring you
Speaker 3: for this return ended glory.
Speaker 1: Thank you for bringing me back. What if I sponsored
Speaker 1: my Meta musical and it's just every thing I did?
Speaker 2: Oh Land, Oh no, I'm waiting.
Speaker 1: He'll be in cabin number seven. Yeah, hopefully that doesn't happen.
Speaker 1: It'll be you know, a coffee shop or something. No,
Speaker 1: same problem, Yeah, same problem.
Speaker 2: Kind of it's everywhere. Look at all this traffic.
Speaker 1: It is a special day for traffic, it really is.
Speaker 3: It's a celebration of traffic today in Los Angeles.
Speaker 1: People are loving staying still. Oh They're like, no, no,
Speaker 1: you go ahead, I'll.
Speaker 2: Just hang here.
Speaker 1: The incessant honking is the nice kind, the beep beep kind,
Speaker 1: just friendly. It was bad last night too. I was
Speaker 1: on the freeway. This I've never seen. One car was
Speaker 1: turned over like a turtle.
Speaker 4: Shit.
Speaker 1: The other car was just smashed on the median, and
Speaker 1: the cops were running after the people. I think it
Speaker 1: was a normal rack. But both parties fled.
Speaker 2: Oh shit, that's because both parties didn't have insurance.
Speaker 1: One hundred of the people in that accident. We're doing
Speaker 1: something unlawful. What are the chances that's fucked up?
Speaker 2: Thank you? Sorry? Kind of like what I'm doing right now,
Speaker 2: which is blocking both lanes.
Speaker 1: It's okay. Everyone understands why, I hope. So, yeah, we
Speaker 1: gotta get I'll act like I'm in abdominal pain, good ideaspital,
Speaker 1: my stomach.
Speaker 2: We need to go to hospital.
Speaker 1: He hit him and the prince, and then I just
Speaker 1: get out by these flowers. Thank you.
Speaker 3: We got to the flower station first. Is there like
Speaker 3: a big funeral? I mean there's so much traffic.
Speaker 1: Well, if we're in a procession, we might as well
Speaker 1: go through with it. Yeah, let us morn. I need
Speaker 1: to pay my respects.
Speaker 2: Please.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's just funny when you're out of context. Sorry, we
Speaker 1: have to pay our respects.
Speaker 3: Yeah, kind of pushy, like, No, it's about us. We
Speaker 3: need to get this done. It's la funeral.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's funny to say I'm here to pay my respects,
Speaker 1: but say it disrespectfully. It's great. People love that irony.
Speaker 1: He would have loved it.
Speaker 3: He died doing what he loved, being disrespectful at a funeral.
Speaker 1: Does anyone know who that is? No, they just came
Speaker 1: with all these cars. Yeah, they just wanted to pay respects.
Speaker 1: How was your week? What do you do?
Speaker 2: Just working and regular stuff?
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I cannot seem to get a morning ritual down where
Speaker 3: I feed myself protein in a way that at noon
Speaker 3: I don't have a nervous breakdown. And I it's on me.
Speaker 3: It's because I love coffee and I like difficulty. Really,
Speaker 3: and so it happened again today and I was talking
Speaker 3: to I was in the office talking to Danielle, and
Speaker 3: then I went this. I've done this so many times,
Speaker 3: where like I'm suddenly like citing issues that aren't a
Speaker 3: big deal and feeling like the world's gonna end, and
Speaker 3: then I go home and eat something and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 3: well that's not true.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, So wait you your new thing is to
Speaker 1: eat protein.
Speaker 4: In the morning.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to but here's the thing.
Speaker 3: My old routine was, and this is a really good
Speaker 3: one if you need and this is the new This
Speaker 3: is the thing for like hairy menopausal and menopausal women.
Speaker 3: You got to eat like thirty grams of protein. It's
Speaker 3: so that you don't whatever. It's like a cortisol thing. Okay,
Speaker 3: and it's really smart and true and I used to
Speaker 3: have it's also, sorry to interrupt, No, no helps reduce belly fat.
Speaker 1: I saw that in a commercial.
Speaker 3: No cortisol causes Oh no, but if you eat that protein,
Speaker 3: that helps fight that.
Speaker 2: So you're right.
Speaker 3: I think we were talking about the same Yes, yes,
Speaker 3: did I just correct you for saying the exact same thing?
Speaker 1: No? No, I think no. I thought cortisol. I've been
Speaker 1: rubbing cortisol cream all over my belly, thinking you must
Speaker 1: wonder you.
Speaker 2: Look like Santa Claus.
Speaker 1: That's why I got these glasses. So here's the trick.
Speaker 1: Greek yogurt.
Speaker 3: Okay, cut up some sort of berry and then get
Speaker 3: yourself what's called oat bran and they.
Speaker 1: Make it gluten free if you need it that way.
Speaker 1: And so you get that crunch of granola.
Speaker 3: It's mushy like oatmeal, but it doesn't have it's better
Speaker 3: for you. I think it's faster. And then you mix
Speaker 3: it all together. You've got like kind of a nice
Speaker 3: parfe but you it. Then suddenly you like you don't
Speaker 3: have to eat or have like mental illness for like
Speaker 3: four hours. And I used to do it regularly before
Speaker 3: work when I had an office job, and now that
Speaker 3: I'm going back into the office, I'm like, you have
Speaker 3: to start doing this again.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so that when.
Speaker 3: You interact with people you don't have those blood sugar hits.
Speaker 3: That then like I lose, I just lose faith in humanity.
Speaker 3: It goes so global for me, right when the blood
Speaker 3: sugar drops.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the whole world.
Speaker 2: It's the whole world.
Speaker 3: And I need to tell it's usually Danielle, who is
Speaker 3: in charge of everything at our company.
Speaker 2: And it's usually her having to receive me being like.
Speaker 3: And we need this and we need that, and she's
Speaker 3: like uh huh okay.
Speaker 2: And you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: But luckily she's a calm and supportive presence. She's the
Speaker 1: very calm Yes. I often skate with her husband, who
Speaker 1: is the greatest, Yes, one of the funniest people around. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's funny that I when I'm skating or golfing or something,
Speaker 1: I don't. I think that's why I was asked to
Speaker 1: do this tournament. Of course it is, But then I'm
Speaker 1: not actually funny while doing those things.
Speaker 2: I think you are.
Speaker 1: I'm the same as everyone else. I'm frustrated. I want
Speaker 1: to do well. Yes, I'm turning to a normal dude, weirdo.
Speaker 3: You know Bill Murray when it comes to winning anything.
Speaker 1: I know, that's whateverone wants to be. They want to
Speaker 1: be Bill Murray. And even Bill Murray probably just loses
Speaker 1: it and throwing clubs at squirrels.
Speaker 3: Or he knows to drink half a bottle of whiskey
Speaker 3: before he goes out there so that he can do
Speaker 3: it the way.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: Hey, but you know it's funny people drink.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I think right, yeah, just loosen it up.
Speaker 3: But my dad really doesn't like when Bill Murray is
Speaker 3: at the golf tournaments.
Speaker 1: He thinks it's disrespectful because he's not serious about it.
Speaker 1: He's wearing a funny hat.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he doesn't like the jokes. I think he thinks
Speaker 3: golf is serious and needs to be respected.
Speaker 1: Oh that's great, I guess my generation. Yeah. If if
Speaker 1: Adam Sandler was there screaming yes and headbutting people and
Speaker 1: boxing Bob Barker, I feel like that is disrespectful to
Speaker 1: this serious and quiet sport.
Speaker 3: It must be why Happy Gilmour was such a good movie,
Speaker 3: because people are like, finally, finally we're pulling back the
Speaker 3: the gauze, Yes.
Speaker 1: From the serious wound. We all had the golf wound
Speaker 1: of America. So you used to just wake up and
Speaker 1: drink coffee, right, yes, And that is anxiety.
Speaker 3: Really bad because coffee on an empty stomach. So now
Speaker 3: I learned the trick, right, me too. Then I learned
Speaker 3: the trick just so I have like whatever, I have
Speaker 3: yogurt or whatever, but then I kind of balance it
Speaker 3: out early and then keep drinking coffee and never go
Speaker 3: oh no.
Speaker 2: I have to actually eat a real breakfast.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the key.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because it can uh suppress your appetite. Coffee is
Speaker 1: I don't know, is it bad? I just wish it
Speaker 1: was easier to there's so many when it comes to breakfast.
Speaker 1: I think of like two things like, oh, I'll have
Speaker 1: some cereal or I'll wait till lunch. Yeah. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think most people are like that. I'm not in there
Speaker 1: frying eggs.
Speaker 2: I mean, I guess people do.
Speaker 1: I suppose most people do.
Speaker 2: I guess they do.
Speaker 1: And there's those people who prep their food, like on
Speaker 1: a Sunday, they'll make heres all my breakfasts for the week.
Speaker 1: Oh I mean that because you're the kind of person
Speaker 1: that organizes a closet and throws away things they don't
Speaker 1: wear anymore. I just am not that person. Stop trying
Speaker 1: to make me, you.
Speaker 2: Listener, he lunged at me.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, he lunched at me with those sunglasses.
Speaker 1: The whole benefit so far has been that no one
Speaker 1: can see all my lunging. And now you sell me out.
Speaker 2: I'm going to report you to the listener.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's reasons. There's reasons that we all land cameras
Speaker 1: in here. It's because I'm very violent. Now I sit
Speaker 1: with my hands on my lap like a good church boy.
Speaker 3: Anyway, go to my website if you want to get
Speaker 3: some great breakfast recipes.
Speaker 2: Why am I even talking about this? It's my fucking place.
Speaker 1: I started it, did you? Well? No, the podcast, I
Speaker 1: started it really in the beginning when I said welcome,
Speaker 1: you started it with this breakfast business of yours. That's
Speaker 1: the real mistake. I'm saying, yes, should we just ditch
Speaker 1: our guests today and go to the equestrian center or
Speaker 1: what were you gonna say? Moonlight horse ride?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, this isn't zoo drive because this
Speaker 3: always gets me where point zero point seven miles?
Speaker 2: I don't know what that fucking means.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sorry, I don't.
Speaker 2: Know how far away that is?
Speaker 1: So can you just tell me turn now or whatever?
Speaker 1: It's his turn.
Speaker 2: It's his turn, white car.
Speaker 1: Ye, God damn everybody, And we were on your side
Speaker 1: of the road, that is. Yeah, it's uh, yeah, I
Speaker 1: think a good way any point something. It's just you
Speaker 1: take that seven it's like seven tenths of a mile.
Speaker 1: So then imagine you didn't really want the answer, did
Speaker 1: you not? Really?
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, Well, I've learned after a while, because now
Speaker 3: it does the thing where like if this goes low enough,
Speaker 3: then it'll go eight hundred feet three hundred feet, right,
Speaker 3: But it still makes me panic because I'm like, when
Speaker 3: you're coming up on a four way stop or whatever,
Speaker 3: I'm like, you have to do both.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and if it's feet, I still don't know that.
Speaker 1: The same the time I went bungee jumping off a
Speaker 1: bridge and they said it's two hundred feet and I
Speaker 1: look down and I'm like, there's no way that's just
Speaker 1: two hundred feet.
Speaker 2: How many feet did you think it was? How many
Speaker 2: feet did it feel?
Speaker 1: It looked like a thousand feet? Yeah, I'm like, there's
Speaker 1: no way. This is just twenty stories of a building.
Speaker 1: But if you think of that, that's doesn't that seem
Speaker 1: like it would be about a thousand feet? No, each
Speaker 1: story is about ten, Each story is ten depending on
Speaker 1: the building. Unless you're a rich person and you have
Speaker 1: twelve foot exactly.
Speaker 2: Feet three hundred feet. What's happening now, you see?
Speaker 1: Yes, all I'm.
Speaker 3: Saying is I could really I don't know why I
Speaker 3: don't ritualize a very important morning routine that not only
Speaker 3: will I will feed myself breakfast, but I will then
Speaker 3: take the supplements that my changing perimenopausal body absolutely needs
Speaker 3: to feel.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, treat it like your skincare, which, by the way,
Speaker 1: I went to the is it just like heaven? Cruel
Speaker 1: World one of them. I went to a festival that
Speaker 1: see Metric, which was absolutely amazing.
Speaker 3: Okay, really quick, do you see that this motherfucking car
Speaker 3: is about to put us back on the one thirty four?
Speaker 2: Do you see that right there?
Speaker 1: What in the world we're getting I don't know just
Speaker 1: for a second though, Okay, I think we're.
Speaker 2: See one hundred feet.
Speaker 1: I won't it zoom in? Oh, I guess we don't
Speaker 1: need it to. We're getting back north. I've done. It'll
Speaker 1: be just for a moment, okay, and.
Speaker 3: Then it'll oh gotcha, I see, I see, yes, Okay.
Speaker 1: I was walking at this this music festival.
Speaker 2: When did you go?
Speaker 1: It was just four or five days ago. It was
Speaker 1: so great. Always a Metric are two of my favorite bands,
Speaker 1: and they were always so good, so good, such a
Speaker 1: rock band, like quintessential rock band.
Speaker 4: It was so good.
Speaker 1: And then I was walking and these two guys were
Speaker 1: like enjoyed some of the patching I done on my shoes.
Speaker 1: I'd thet all flies and they're like, are those the
Speaker 1: Van's Madrid fly shoes? And I'm like no, but I
Speaker 1: wanted them so much as a kid that I kind
Speaker 1: of made them. They're like, you weren't alive. How old
Speaker 1: are you? And I said I'm forty nine and they said,
Speaker 1: shut up? What is your skin routine? And I went
Speaker 1: and I don't know if they were serious and really
Speaker 1: wanted to know it, but I went. I was like,
Speaker 1: cause our X and then snail and they're like Musin,
Speaker 1: like they knew that it was Musin. Yeah, and then
Speaker 1: and then top it off with some one skin and
Speaker 1: then I promoted the podcast right their faces.
Speaker 2: Here's really quick, but they almost wrote it down for real.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're like cars. They were young people, but I
Speaker 1: think they're gay boys. And they were very already, very
Speaker 1: much conscious about their They both looked like they had
Speaker 1: a waxy like sheene on their skin, like they already
Speaker 1: did stuff even though they're in their twenties or something,
Speaker 1: So they were ahead of the game already.
Speaker 2: They may have just been flirting with you too.
Speaker 1: No, I think they meant it. I think they thought
Speaker 1: I looked young for my age.
Speaker 2: Oh I bet they did. I bet they did.
Speaker 1: But also yes, I will accept that they were possibly flirting.
Speaker 3: Also just to let you know, and this is not
Speaker 3: a commercial, but since we did a commercial for One
Speaker 3: Skin and we got sent or I don't know if
Speaker 3: we did on this podcast, but we did on my
Speaker 3: favorite murder.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah we did. Oh I got it. I read
Speaker 1: about it. Oh boy, it tingles and it works.
Speaker 2: Yes, It's like I.
Speaker 3: Have since seen tiktoks where they're like, this is the shit,
Speaker 3: this is like, this is what you want, and I'm like,
Speaker 3: now I can't find the I cream. But there's another
Speaker 3: one where I'm like, oh my god, this is real.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we got it. Just go to go
Speaker 1: to go to where you go.
Speaker 4: Me?
Speaker 1: Yeah or you know, we'll say it in the podcast.
Speaker 1: There's a place where people can go to find where
Speaker 1: our sponsors are, right, I don't know we should know that.
Speaker 1: Should we have a website? I think it's too late,
Speaker 1: it is, it's too late.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think there's a three year refractory period.
Speaker 1: Right they do. Now we're done for Yeah, yeah, One
Speaker 1: Skin's the place to go. And then we have a
Speaker 1: promo code. Is all I'm saying.
Speaker 2: Watch how hard it is to do this.
Speaker 1: You too will have unsolicited, handsome young people asking you
Speaker 1: for the time of day, even though they're wearing a watch.
Speaker 2: Even though they know the time of day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the thing. It wasn't about the time. Oh
Speaker 1: look at that. Look it's a dad and son on
Speaker 1: little suitcase scooters. What am I looking at?
Speaker 2: Suitcase scooters?
Speaker 1: But I feel like the child should not be leading right. Well,
Speaker 1: you know kids, they want to get in front of
Speaker 1: dad and prove that one day they'll be a man.
Speaker 1: He probably was like slow down, Caleb.
Speaker 2: Wait for daddy, and Caleb's like fuck you.
Speaker 1: I am confused about what they were on though. They
Speaker 1: were tiny little scooters that look like luggage.
Speaker 3: They look like rectangles, Yes, like sitting down bird scooters
Speaker 3: with rectangular bases.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they were sitting on a toy that a child
Speaker 1: would have. That is a little box that unfolds in
Speaker 1: like a transformer into a motorcycle.
Speaker 3: You know how children love to play with card tables. Yes,
Speaker 3: well these ones clearly turn.
Speaker 1: Into a motor's EyeT took that motorized vehicle.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're in Glendale. Now do you feel the vibe change?
Speaker 1: Oh, we'll feel a change once we're with moving traffic
Speaker 1: because the aggression is real. Yeah, people drive very fast boulevard.
Speaker 1: This is a deadly boulevard.
Speaker 2: We're going to drag race for sure at some point.
Speaker 2: Not Rue Paul's regulars.
Speaker 1: Sometimes my dad just casually reminds me that one of
Speaker 1: the things all the kids did on the weekend was
Speaker 1: drag race, and you could put down your your title slip. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and people lost their cars.
Speaker 4: Yep.
Speaker 3: My uncle Martin used to do that in San Francisco.
Speaker 3: He drag raced corvers, the ones that exploded in the back.
Speaker 1: Wow, that would be intimidating during a Yeah. Yeah. My
Speaker 1: dad had a gto and he would drag race.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's cool.
Speaker 1: And I think there was like a flag person like
Speaker 1: go everybody, like in Greece. I'm the best dancer at
Speaker 1: Saint Bernadette. Yeah, but this is the gigs I get
Speaker 1: on the weekend.
Speaker 4: Go.
Speaker 1: But now I'm in the La River things. It really sucks.
Speaker 2: Damn it. Sorry, I should have done that faster.
Speaker 3: I looked too fast and it was on three hundred
Speaker 3: feet and I couldn't swing left.
Speaker 1: Well, well, you know it's gonna work out. We will.
Speaker 1: He will have to patiently wait, And I am patiently
Speaker 1: waiting for when he gets in the car and makes
Speaker 1: fun of my oak lates. That's how I know he's
Speaker 1: a friend.
Speaker 3: That'll be the proof. Is he a comedian and a
Speaker 3: friend or fraud? He doesn't even understand the test he's
Speaker 3: about to be tested on.
Speaker 1: I think I thought you called him a frog, and
Speaker 1: then I thought you meant you just said testing two
Speaker 1: in a row.
Speaker 2: Here, I'll do them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll do a little dip jump driving whale, the
Speaker 1: old three point turn.
Speaker 2: Classic classic Glendale move.
Speaker 1: Yeah, first, act like you're parking, and then zip into
Speaker 1: the middle of the road. Secondly, dip into this wave.
Speaker 1: At the guy drawing it socks sadly while drinking of beverage,
Speaker 1: drawing and dry drawing, drying drawing his socks. He's drawing
Speaker 1: he took off a sock and he's doing a still
Speaker 1: life portrait in the alley where sock portraiture belongs. Oh
Speaker 1: is my? Are we picking up today's guest at Fat sALS?
Speaker 1: The sandwich shop?
Speaker 2: The sandwich shop?
Speaker 1: No girl wants to go to? How dare you call
Speaker 1: me that?
Speaker 3: Okay boo waits on the other fucking side.
Speaker 1: Yes, but I think if we find yeah, there's a
Speaker 1: crosswalk here, it'll work out. I can let him know
Speaker 1: that he can just cross the street and meet Just
Speaker 1: go next. Great, we're waiting for our guests. We're in
Speaker 1: the streets, like originally intended this podcast. We will go anywhere. Yeah,
Speaker 1: even Glendale, not just your driveway. We are in Glendale.
Speaker 1: We're in the thick of it. And and as I'm assuming,
Speaker 1: our guest today is at Fats I'll sandwich shop.
Speaker 3: Today's show is brought to you by you Break I
Speaker 3: Fix Phone and Computer Repair. If you have a broken
Speaker 3: phone or computer, come on down Brand Boulevard and you break.
Speaker 1: I Fix, We'll fix it for you. So it's our
Speaker 1: job to break it. Yeah, their job to fix it.
Speaker 2: Hey, can you please do your job? Break your phone?
Speaker 1: Hey, I did my job.
Speaker 2: Here he is everyone, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: You in the backseat, not my lap. You know. Today's
Speaker 1: guests from clubs and colleges around the country. Everyone put
Speaker 1: your ears together for Sean Jordan.
Speaker 4: Oh this is so dope.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Sean. Oh sorry, Sean, Karen.
Speaker 4: Have you met Karen Befure briefly? But hello, yes, see you.
Speaker 4: Nice to see you.
Speaker 1: Maybe a Bridgetown.
Speaker 4: It's absolutely Bridgetown.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Did we party in Bridgetown?
Speaker 4: I sure did. Chris and I tried to move a
Speaker 4: car off some train tracks at Bridgetown.
Speaker 1: That was insane.
Speaker 4: Yeah, somebody came in. It was somebody who drove down
Speaker 4: some train tracks.
Speaker 1: But he would do it because of me. No, he said,
Speaker 1: should I turn right here? And I thought he saw
Speaker 1: that it was train tracks.
Speaker 4: I think he did. I think it was just a
Speaker 4: more on. Yeah.
Speaker 1: No, he thought he would make it later on. I
Speaker 1: had respect for him once one he was sober, and
Speaker 1: Dewey's like, yeah, I really thought I could make it,
Speaker 1: And for some reason I was like, okay, I can
Speaker 1: live with that. But we drove for a while and
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, the train tracks were higher
Speaker 1: than the clearance on the car.
Speaker 2: You said, we drove for a while.
Speaker 1: You got into the also was in the car, grabbed
Speaker 1: the steering wheel. I was driving with him. He like,
Speaker 1: dared him too his money. The story changes over to yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean really well, well, my right hand was on
Speaker 1: the steering wheel, my left hand was down on the gas.
Speaker 1: He was trying to kick it away, but it was
Speaker 1: his fault.
Speaker 4: So you got high water. And then Chris comes in
Speaker 4: at the after party, is like, there's a car stuck
Speaker 4: on the train tracks. Who was gonna help me move it?
Speaker 4: And like fifteen of us got up. We moved the
Speaker 4: back really easy, and then none of us accounted for
Speaker 4: the engine, so we tried to move the front thing
Speaker 4: to be easy.
Speaker 1: It wouldn't budge, no, and it was it was just
Speaker 1: a Honda Civic or something, right.
Speaker 4: I wasn't like a hummer or anything.
Speaker 1: I really thought fifteen people because I've seen footage from
Speaker 1: the fifties of you know, them lifting a convertible.
Speaker 4: And also so the cops showed up, and you could
Speaker 4: tell that some people had real drugs on them because
Speaker 4: they both because I went, I was just like, I
Speaker 4: doesn't have some alcohol. So I went and like went
Speaker 4: towards the cops, and like half the people ran away,
Speaker 4: like yeah, I get it. I'll go. I'll go talk
Speaker 4: to the heat and let me take it. Yeah. I
Speaker 4: got the cops in my first.
Speaker 1: Road, and I started demanding that they called the train
Speaker 1: people because I was worried about a train coming.
Speaker 4: Get a couple of ules, allowed mouth soup, Yeah, get
Speaker 4: the train on the phone.
Speaker 1: I had a heaping hot ball allowed talk to the
Speaker 1: engineer now, and the cop yelled at me, you don't
Speaker 1: think we already contacted the train people. I appreciate that
Speaker 1: he also called them trained people, but they.
Speaker 4: Were I'd never even thought about it. Twelve years, I
Speaker 4: haven't thought about that, so good, good call. I never
Speaker 4: would have suggested that.
Speaker 1: Yes, and the train did eventually come it indeed would
Speaker 1: have been a problem. Yeah the I mean, and didn't
Speaker 1: the police have their guns drawn? Or am I making
Speaker 1: that part out up?
Speaker 4: You know, it gets a little hazy towards that part,
Speaker 4: and I might not have stuck around for the whole thing.
Speaker 1: At first, they thought there was a real problem, like uh,
Speaker 1: because yeah, there's a car in the train tracks with
Speaker 1: fifteen more trying to But I remember one of them
Speaker 1: making a comment because there was like three girls wearing
Speaker 1: poodle skirts like I don't know if they had a
Speaker 1: sketch or something that was fifties saw Coop themed, but
Speaker 1: it may have been butter Boss. Maybe it was. Oh,
Speaker 1: now I need to know if they helped.
Speaker 4: They could have.
Speaker 1: I didn't know, but they and then real pitching gals.
Speaker 2: I feel like they would have.
Speaker 1: Sure everyone else I chose for my team was based
Speaker 1: on size and then interest. Thank you for being interested, Sean.
Speaker 4: I was crazy interested.
Speaker 1: But the thing is, I didn't remember. It was such
Speaker 1: a it's hard to know where you are, and that
Speaker 1: that warehouse district straight from Judgment Night the movie, and
Speaker 1: I couldn't find it right away, so a lot of
Speaker 1: time had passed. But it is crazy, and so when
Speaker 1: we lifted up the car and rotate it, it was
Speaker 1: wedged in there so tightly that it became more of
Speaker 1: a problem.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like when someone tries to loosen a knot or
Speaker 4: something the wrong way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, exactly. We really tightened that knot. But the
Speaker 1: next day that guy was driving his car, he just yeah,
Speaker 1: I just had a flat tire, no damage to the car.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, you aren't in jail. He's like, no,
Speaker 1: I sober. They just it was a friendly mistake.
Speaker 4: That was like the first within two days of knowing you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was It's a real Fairbanks start. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: was always in rare form. At those uh, at those
Speaker 1: those Bridgetown festivals.
Speaker 4: I think everybody was you have a party till four
Speaker 4: in the morning. It's like that's gonna happen.
Speaker 1: It's gonna go down. Yeah, sure, Yeah. I wasn't always
Speaker 1: proud of the stories that he stuck.
Speaker 3: I just like the idea that someone's like, hey, should
Speaker 3: I turn here, and you're like, you absolutely should.
Speaker 1: I really a great.
Speaker 4: Idea in a chaos over there.
Speaker 1: And then as we're going driving over the track, so
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, you didn't know they were here, but
Speaker 1: he did know.
Speaker 2: He knew, he knew, and he didn't know you were
Speaker 2: super drunk.
Speaker 1: It's funny in this story. I really I was. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was. I was on many things, but he.
Speaker 4: Wasn't.
Speaker 1: And so why do I think that's great? He's just crazy.
Speaker 4: It's just a wild doing that drunk or sober?
Speaker 1: Yeah, super sober.
Speaker 4: He's taking the egg right there.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Also was the local like.
Speaker 4: Yes, I want to say his name was Drew. I
Speaker 4: can't remember last name, but he lived in town, and
Speaker 4: he was.
Speaker 1: His name was, Hey, Drew, please call in, we need
Speaker 1: to talk to Yeah, I've only I only have the
Speaker 1: utmost respect for you, Drew. I think that's been established.
Speaker 1: Oh that was fun. And then was that before or
Speaker 1: after you? Because you were pretty good pals with our
Speaker 1: friend of the show, David Huntsberger.
Speaker 4: I was just at David's two hours ago. Really, I
Speaker 4: went to go see him in the kiddos and uh.
Speaker 1: Did you help bring the kid to school? No, I
Speaker 1: have a few appointments with Dave because he had Hernie's surgery.
Speaker 1: So I just show up, take the cart seat with
Speaker 1: child inside, and put it in the car, and that's
Speaker 1: my job.
Speaker 4: You want to bring it up to Portland, You can
Speaker 4: take Maxine to daycare anytime you want, your friend, I
Speaker 4: might refinitely fill the time.
Speaker 2: Your daughter's name's Maxine. That is such a good name.
Speaker 4: Thank you. So the Jordan's, the Jordan men notoriously haven't
Speaker 4: been good people. So my because my pitch, my pitch
Speaker 4: to my wife because I don't I don't obviously think
Speaker 4: our kids should have the last name Jordan. It should
Speaker 4: be a discussion whatever. So I was like, if you
Speaker 4: please would do me the honor of letting us raise
Speaker 4: a good Jordan, then I will. You can. You can
Speaker 4: have the first and middle name. I won't say a
Speaker 4: word about it. So she picked her dad's mom's name
Speaker 4: for the first name, her mom's mom's name for the
Speaker 4: second names.
Speaker 2: What's your middle name?
Speaker 4: Max Seen Louise Jordan's.
Speaker 1: Oh that's great, it's perfection.
Speaker 4: Yeah, thank you. It's that ex is strong, you know. Yeah,
Speaker 4: it's nice. And then I kind of wanted a name
Speaker 4: that was going to be an immediate nickname, so I
Speaker 4: just am you know, Max all the time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, that's a perfect one. And girl little
Speaker 3: girls having boy nicknames is the cutest.
Speaker 4: I love it.
Speaker 2: Like our friend Jay's baby girl is Stevie.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love a Stevie girl.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and she tall, so I always call her Shax scene.
Speaker 4: That's a fun one.
Speaker 1: Oh that's great.
Speaker 4: How old she'll be three in a few weeks?
Speaker 1: Wow, two weeks and it's already tall compared to the other.
Speaker 4: So she's in the one hundred percentile, which I thought, Yes,
Speaker 4: you hear those things. I was like, I never thought
Speaker 4: it was true. So I asked the doctor what that means,
Speaker 4: and he goes, if there was a thousand kids, she'd
Speaker 4: be one of the four tallest. That's how he explained it.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, yeah.
Speaker 4: And everybody, I will tell you I don't know a
Speaker 4: thing about kids, Like I could look at a kid
Speaker 4: and be like, I don't know. They could be six,
Speaker 4: they could be two. I have no idea. But every
Speaker 4: time someone looks at her. They're like, oh, holy bucket,
Speaker 4: she's tall. Huh. Like, first of all, shut the fuck up,
Speaker 4: you're gonna give her a complidense. But yes, it's wild.
Speaker 4: It's like that in the sunburn are the two things
Speaker 4: people are just fine to bring up. Oh yeah, sunburns,
Speaker 4: like you get some sunbrow and you're like, yes, I'm uglier,
Speaker 4: I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh yeah. I would be offended if it was like,
Speaker 1: did your kid get some sun? Like you're a bad parent.
Speaker 4: People people say those little snide stuff. They do it
Speaker 4: all the time.
Speaker 1: So they know that she's tall because they look at
Speaker 1: her face and they're like, that's a three year old's face.
Speaker 4: Well, people, they'll say, these little weird parents at the playground.
Speaker 4: It's a whole it's a whole situation. But because she
Speaker 4: looks older, right, So parents they'll come up and they'll
Speaker 4: be like, oh, I wouldn't worry about the words and
Speaker 4: all that just yet. And I'm like, beck, get out
Speaker 4: of my you're crowding the plate, you know what I mean,
Speaker 4: You're you're out of your depth on this one.
Speaker 2: So they're assuming that she is like a six year old.
Speaker 4: With yeah, it's like you're a stranger if she is behind,
Speaker 4: You're not gonna make me feel better about we just
Speaker 4: met and.
Speaker 1: I'm like weird and yeah, and you're wearing capris.
Speaker 4: But yeah, it's she's tall, it's it's super super fun,
Speaker 4: just just the whole parent stuff.
Speaker 1: Man.
Speaker 4: I love it way more than I thought I would.
Speaker 1: Do you get that's awesome?
Speaker 2: Do you get? Are you one of the only dads
Speaker 2: at the playground?
Speaker 4: Do you have a lot?
Speaker 2: Are you in a minority?
Speaker 4: I'm almost always the only dude. Well, playground in the morning,
Speaker 4: there's usually maybe a couple dudes, but whenever I take
Speaker 4: her to like music class or uh whatever whatever we
Speaker 4: get her into to like recreate, always the only guy. Yeah,
Speaker 4: it's hilarious to wow like.
Speaker 1: Me in bar method.
Speaker 3: My dad was also the only guy at the playground
Speaker 3: a lot because he was a fireman, so he was
Speaker 3: like on and off whatever, and he was also kind
Speaker 3: of big and strong, so he would like start pushing
Speaker 3: me and my sister on the swings and then all
Speaker 3: of a sudden there be nine kids be like, now
Speaker 3: push me, push me. And it was every time we
Speaker 3: went to the park with him, he would just become
Speaker 3: like the guy that was making it happen at the
Speaker 3: park for everybody.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it sounds like a milk commercial.
Speaker 3: It was very pure and cute, but it was also
Speaker 3: kind of irritating, where it's like, yeah, this is our time,
Speaker 3: not like your time.
Speaker 4: My dad's a firefighter. Your dad doesn't have a driver's
Speaker 4: license anymore.
Speaker 3: Don't you're dead, You're dad still at the insurance office.
Speaker 1: Flaming it up that you know.
Speaker 4: It's funny too because it comes up just I don't
Speaker 4: know why, but people like, what do you why are
Speaker 4: you free during the day, And I just it's weird
Speaker 4: telling people you're a comedian.
Speaker 1: I try to do of course. Yeah, so I just.
Speaker 4: Kind of end up saying different stuff all the time.
Speaker 4: I say I'm cutting customer service sometimes and I work
Speaker 4: a weird schedule. Well that's great, that's interesting. I always
Speaker 4: say graphic design that kind of But then nobody knows
Speaker 4: what they're talking.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, but and if there is the chance that
Speaker 1: they do, I also know how to talk about it
Speaker 1: because I used to do it a little very much
Speaker 1: a lot. I still do it a little bit, but yeah,
Speaker 1: I it's such a mistake to say you're a comedian,
Speaker 1: and I did it in this last golf tournament, and
Speaker 1: it was just like an interview about comedy. Who do
Speaker 1: you like? Who's your favorite comic? And I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say someone.
Speaker 4: You don't do you know? Fluffy? And You're like, well,
Speaker 4: Kyle Kanaan.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Kyle's a good one to bring up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because see it's I for years I just say David Tell.
Speaker 1: It just comes off the top of my head because
Speaker 1: I always said it in the beginning, and luckily it
Speaker 1: came out with a new thing and I like it,
Speaker 1: so I can continue to say that. But Kyle's a
Speaker 1: good one. Kyle is my favorite.
Speaker 3: I like to say Kramer from Seinfeld, Right, see where
Speaker 3: the conversation goes after that.
Speaker 4: Well, while I got you on playgrounds, the amount of
Speaker 4: parents that just stare at their phone and push the
Speaker 4: kid in the swing is so so interesting to me
Speaker 4: because I get it, we're all on our phones. We
Speaker 4: gotta look at our phones. I understand this the world
Speaker 4: we're in, but it's just such a tough look where
Speaker 4: you're like, you look like you hate that kid.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, it's a part time job. They're paying so
Speaker 1: little attention that an it's an empty swing.
Speaker 4: And also I hate you pulled the ripcord. Here the
Speaker 4: amount of big, gnarly tattoo guys that will let their
Speaker 4: dog just tear ass into the playground and then slowly
Speaker 4: come walking up like sorry, bro, You're like, keep your
Speaker 4: animal away from you know, it's such a the playground. Man,
Speaker 4: it's a whole different world to jungle.
Speaker 1: Yeah that is I why are their dogs in the playground?
Speaker 1: I don't like that at all.
Speaker 4: Portland's just got dog parks next to everything. Oh sure, which, yeah,
Speaker 4: I get it, but like they really they come. Somebody's
Speaker 4: came over and I had to remove myself because he
Speaker 4: comes running over. He's like, hey, watch off my dog.
Speaker 4: She just loves running into kids and knocking them over.
Speaker 4: I was like, why is your dog around these kids? Then?
Speaker 4: And then he puffed up and I puffed up? But
Speaker 4: what you know, what am I gonna do? And uh?
Speaker 4: And then so I just walked away.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, Ready was it a person with a dog
Speaker 3: that wasn't fixed?
Speaker 4: You know, I didn't. We didn't get there those.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's got a private but those.
Speaker 1: Let me get on an automotive back cart.
Speaker 3: A connection with those the guys that are like, hey,
Speaker 3: like those guys would come to the dog park and
Speaker 3: those their dogs would attack all the other dogs and
Speaker 3: they'd be like, sorry, it's not fixed, or it's like
Speaker 3: this seems about you in some way that like no
Speaker 3: one wants.
Speaker 4: To Yeah, we were just I was in Denver and
Speaker 4: we were out playing disc and there's just everyone in
Speaker 4: Denver has hell of dogs and backpacks that play music,
Speaker 4: like the disc golf course. That's a whole. But two
Speaker 4: dogs with no owners came over and attack. They ended
Speaker 4: it was fine, but they attacked another dog and it
Speaker 4: was that sound is so nuts when you hear a
Speaker 4: dog really fighting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's It makes I freak out. I don't
Speaker 1: know what to do. I just run in circles.
Speaker 4: You're supposed to pour something in their nose or finger
Speaker 4: in the butt. Those are the two things.
Speaker 1: Wait a minutely, The first one I thought would be
Speaker 1: difficult and the second one certainly.
Speaker 4: Those are like that fool proof to like get to
Speaker 4: loosen a dog's jaws, I.
Speaker 1: Guess is a butt finger in the butt.
Speaker 4: In the butt, or if you can pour something up
Speaker 4: up their nose so they can't breathe.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's that was all seems so difficult.
Speaker 1: Both are you have to have amazing the jaws.
Speaker 4: So if you just pull, they're gonna pull whatever. Like
Speaker 4: if they're biting onto someone, you pull them, they're just
Speaker 4: gonna pull it up. Whatever they got in their mouth
Speaker 4: is gonna come with, so loose their jaws.
Speaker 1: Even if you have a hose in hand, but who so,
Speaker 1: who's gonna you have to aim that hose up the nostrils.
Speaker 4: That's the word I bought, Yeah word cheve those.
Speaker 1: Little yeah, the anime and anything.
Speaker 3: My dog used to because my niece would let my
Speaker 3: dog lick her face.
Speaker 2: And my niece was like three or four.
Speaker 3: So when we were at the dog park and people
Speaker 3: would bring kids, which is the kind of the reverse
Speaker 3: of what you're talking about, because I would be like,
Speaker 3: unless unless your child is tall enough to defend themselves
Speaker 3: from dogs of any kind, why would.
Speaker 2: You bring like a toddler?
Speaker 3: And the second my dog would see a toddler and
Speaker 3: she was like a lab hound mix whatever, but she
Speaker 3: would run right up because she wanted to go lick
Speaker 3: their faces. But it looked like she was just like
Speaker 3: coming for a toddler, and I would have to run
Speaker 3: behind her and go She's just trying to lick the face.
Speaker 3: She's only gonna lick the face, psychotic And it was
Speaker 3: so scary to the parents. But then I was like,
Speaker 3: oh wait, I'm they they should learn this lesson.
Speaker 4: This is the best kid.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, why are they here?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I thought that the dog would smell the licks of
Speaker 1: another dog on that kid's face, Like that's some thing
Speaker 1: I would worry about. What if they don't like the
Speaker 1: licks of this other dogs? It brings me anxiety. That's
Speaker 1: why I have no children or dogs. I mean, it's
Speaker 1: a constant anxiety.
Speaker 4: I'm anxious anyways, like I suppose like most of us,
Speaker 4: but that kid every single thing. I'm just like I
Speaker 4: caught myself the other day at a stoplight, but I'm texting,
Speaker 4: and I'm like, she's staring at me. These are I'm
Speaker 4: putting these deep like I'm programming her brain right now
Speaker 4: to think it's okay to be on your phone. I
Speaker 4: don't even want her driving ever. I can't even imagine
Speaker 4: letting her go in a car. We used to run
Speaker 4: stop signs because we were bored when I was a kid.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's just, oh, you're right. Everything you do,
Speaker 1: she's staring and learning all of it.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I get mad in traffic and I what
Speaker 4: I get, you know, smack the steering wheel or something,
Speaker 4: and she's like, what's wrong. I gotta be like me,
Speaker 4: I'm sorry. I have a short fuse in the car,
Speaker 4: and I apologize. If you don't want to program that
Speaker 4: into you.
Speaker 1: Oh, that would get your constant like thinking about that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, has she sworn yet because of hearing you swear?
Speaker 4: I'm pretty good about it. Uh. My wife is much
Speaker 4: more put together than I am. So it's it's not
Speaker 4: like there's there's not two body mouse living in the
Speaker 4: same house. So it's pretty easy to And I got
Speaker 4: all these Midwestern things that like holy buckets and gee whiz.
Speaker 4: I say those all the time. Sure, and it gets
Speaker 4: the anger out in a funny way. Yeah. So it
Speaker 4: helps cheese crackers and rice.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, oh, cheese and Rice's different parts in the Midwest,
Speaker 1: different cheese accompaniments. Oh that's fun.
Speaker 4: Driving around Glendale. I used to live in Glendale, so
Speaker 4: I mean, yeahs anywhere you need to go? Yeah, Bill,
Speaker 4: and I got a root canal right over there a
Speaker 4: few years ago.
Speaker 2: Should we go?
Speaker 4: Should we go?
Speaker 2: Check in to say?
Speaker 4: Surprised me with it. So the doctor the dentists are like,
Speaker 4: you need a root canal, and I go, okay, And
Speaker 4: I was prepared to mentally, you know, prepare for that
Speaker 4: for the next month or so, and they're like, uh,
Speaker 4: just go downstairs. They're open right now. I don't want
Speaker 4: to go do it right now. But then the she
Speaker 4: basically called me a coward and uh in so many words,
Speaker 4: and what are you?
Speaker 1: Are you a dental chicken? Have you heard of that phrase?
Speaker 4: No, there's a.
Speaker 1: Dentist on on benches and this dentist and he's real creepy,
Speaker 1: and it shows him with a kid and he's like
Speaker 1: got a real creepy look on his face, and it
Speaker 1: says we cater to dental chickens. And I'm like, I
Speaker 1: had to look it up. It's just it's someone scared
Speaker 1: of going to the dentist. Oh, Like, I don't know
Speaker 1: if that's a phrase. If they coined it, it's not
Speaker 1: a phrase. We would not be so confused.
Speaker 4: Right, Yeah, I heard that one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's uh. So you went down immediately and got
Speaker 1: it done immediately, that's what they do.
Speaker 4: It was such a bummer. Minutes to an hour or
Speaker 4: something of drilling, go to the dentist. Man, yeah, and
Speaker 4: then they get that's gross, but yes, go to the dentist.
Speaker 4: Put it off. I didn't go for fifteen years, yeah,
Speaker 4: because I popped a filling out and I just got
Speaker 4: scared and I was young and broke and everything. And
Speaker 4: when I finally went in, they were like, yeah, all right,
Speaker 4: well it's not as bad as you think, but like
Speaker 4: nine grand eight cavities, a root canal and a crown.
Speaker 1: Oh no, well that isn't too bad. For fifteen years.
Speaker 4: Wasn't It wasn't too bad. It could have been a lot.
Speaker 4: It could have been like pulling teeth and yeah, yeah answer.
Speaker 1: So yeah, old timey forties tools coming out, I asked
Speaker 1: my dentist.
Speaker 4: So I heard a long time ago that Keith Richards
Speaker 4: never went to the dentist and he was fine because
Speaker 4: all the alcohol was killing. The Dennis was like, absolutely not,
Speaker 4: that's not true. Yeah, I ever tell anyone that's true.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that is such a great fantasy.
Speaker 2: That's to me.
Speaker 3: It sounds like a great stand up comedians fantasy of
Speaker 3: like I'm actually taking care of it right now.
Speaker 4: By Yeah, yeah, it really is romantic. If somebody told
Speaker 4: me that I worked, if one Google hit told me
Speaker 4: that worked. I'd be like, well, I got to figure
Speaker 4: oh yes, yeah.
Speaker 1: Like when I went to the colon doctor and he
Speaker 1: was like, do you smoke? And I'm like no, no, never,
Speaker 1: And he's like, oh, okay, I was gonna say, if
Speaker 1: you do, it's it's a really good annie inflammatory for
Speaker 1: coalon issues. I was like, what, Oh, did you just
Speaker 1: prescribe it?
Speaker 4: You like they shouldn't tell you that.
Speaker 1: No, yeah, yeah it was. It was really funny. I
Speaker 1: was in Texas though everything is a.
Speaker 4: Little so it wasn't a real doctor.
Speaker 1: No, No, it's just a guy in boots in an alley.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he was offering you a huge cigarette.
Speaker 1: No, that's the doctor that I paid with a drawing.
Speaker 1: I drew him he liked a barbecue, and I drew
Speaker 1: a big picture of him at a barbecue with different
Speaker 1: with forceps and different colonoscopy tools, read in a cowboy hat.
Speaker 1: And he still has it above his desk. Apparently.
Speaker 4: It's kind of nuts. When so I do. I do
Speaker 4: a podcast myself with a couple of friends, and sometimes
Speaker 4: people will do you forget that everyone out there needs entertainment,
Speaker 4: so like doctors and dennis and stuff.
Speaker 3: Yeah, everyone out there has a pot them.
Speaker 4: Yeah. But a dentist hit up a a friend of
Speaker 4: ours that did our show or something, and he's like, hey,
Speaker 4: if you get to Phoenix, I'll just get you some
Speaker 4: dental work for free, whatever you need. And some of
Speaker 4: my buddy went down, I think it was Phoenix's went
Speaker 4: down there, did a show, got all his teeth tucked up,
Speaker 4: and oh that's great, isn't that cool?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's really nice.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'd love to offer my services to a doctor,
Speaker 4: but they don't, you know, they don't seem to want them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, not the same vibe. Yeah yeah, in lieu
Speaker 1: of laughing gas, I will tell one lie.
Speaker 3: Why A friend who didn't go to the dentist for
Speaker 3: years because as a child, her dentist and I was
Speaker 3: telling my dad about this recently, and we decided that
Speaker 3: this dentist was like a pur freak in some way.
Speaker 3: The dentists would ask her mother if she wanted to
Speaker 3: pay for novacane, and the mother would say no, So
Speaker 3: he would drill the children's teeth with no novacane.
Speaker 4: Dog that is is like psychotic.
Speaker 1: It's torture, it's literal torture.
Speaker 2: And then so she didn't go to the dentist.
Speaker 3: Like when she got older, she stopped the second she
Speaker 3: could and never went back and then did the same
Speaker 3: thing where she finally went after like twenty years and
Speaker 3: had to get all this work done. But I was
Speaker 3: like when she finally told me that was the reason,
Speaker 3: I was like completely valid, Like you you were in
Speaker 3: the right entirely because that's torture and crazy.
Speaker 4: I think that, especially with the dentist, and I think
Speaker 4: it's probably irks dentists to hear, but I think it's
Speaker 4: some sort of traumatic thing that happens and then that's
Speaker 4: what you don't go for a long time. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 4: My current dentist who's amazing in Portland, she was telling
Speaker 4: me she had four clients who meditated while they would
Speaker 4: get their work done, never took any medicine until one
Speaker 4: of them got a root canal and halfway through they
Speaker 4: calmly they were like, I would like some medicine this time.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, oh so like in exchange for novacane.
Speaker 2: They were like, I'm just gonna meditate.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they would so know they wudn't get numbed up
Speaker 4: and they get all their work done. And she said
Speaker 4: they never winced or anything. Wow, it's shocking, but it
Speaker 4: worked until until it didn't.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh my god, that would be really scary.
Speaker 4: I tell I want to feel like I got hit
Speaker 4: with a shovel, Like I want my face to I'm like,
Speaker 4: you numb up my forehead if you got to. Yeah
Speaker 4: yeah yeah, and they'll be like, well you're not gonna
Speaker 4: You're not gonna be able to chew all day. And
Speaker 4: I'm like, I've gone days without food anything. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: you numb it.
Speaker 1: Up, mab Yeah I'm juicing today.
Speaker 4: Yeah, any same, you know the doctor I got stitches
Speaker 4: with no novacame one time because it was three and
Speaker 4: I was like, well whatever, just do it and it
Speaker 4: was such a dumb idea. So ever since then, it's like,
Speaker 4: you mean, just three stitches on my elbow. I cut
Speaker 4: my elbow skating one time and I was just so tiny.
Speaker 4: I was like, to do it. You know, it'll take
Speaker 4: like a minute, but.
Speaker 1: It was awful. Yeah.
Speaker 3: That's like when when you see in an action movie
Speaker 3: where someone does their own stitches, so.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean, where like I'll get this
Speaker 1: bullet out and then I'll just do this where I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: I would I literally like wax my legs and just
Speaker 1: stopped after the first thing.
Speaker 2: I was like, no, it's fine, I'm not how.
Speaker 3: Could you finish, like continue hurting yourself that badly?
Speaker 4: Right? I wonder I always wonder if I could stitch
Speaker 4: someone up. You think it could, Like if it went
Speaker 4: down right now in the middle of the country and
Speaker 4: I just like cut Chris's arm, You think you'd stitch
Speaker 4: him up right?
Speaker 2: Depends on how much he screamed.
Speaker 1: I think yeah, I would let you do it, of course,
Speaker 1: if it happen right now, I would trust your stitching ability.
Speaker 1: I mean, look at the work I did on my
Speaker 1: pants here, Sean.
Speaker 4: That is uh you did there yourself.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know how to stitch. But I've been waiting
Speaker 1: for that scene in a movie to just be super glue,
Speaker 1: because at the time my dad shaved off the tip
Speaker 1: of his finger with a bandsaw. He just squirted super
Speaker 1: glue in a bottle cap and then dipped his nub
Speaker 1: in there, and there's just a bottle cap on the
Speaker 1: end of his finger for a few days and it
Speaker 1: totally healed. You can't even tell anymore. It was just
Speaker 1: a little bit. Why did he put a bottle cap
Speaker 1: on it. It was like a little hat, a little
Speaker 1: cap to like to protect it and also keep the
Speaker 1: glue on there. I think it was kind of thinking
Speaker 1: on the fly while squirting out blood to his hard rate.
Speaker 1: And then finally in that show Sugar that I can't
Speaker 1: stop talking about, Oh yeah, I finally saw he got
Speaker 1: cut and he used a super glue and they show
Speaker 1: him like pinch it together and he puts super glue
Speaker 1: on there.
Speaker 4: I've heard of that duck. Yeah, just like a bulllow
Speaker 4: butterfly bandage, but duct tape.
Speaker 1: Yeah, way better than sewing skin, right for sure. So
Speaker 1: next time I go camping or think I'm gonna get cut,
Speaker 1: that guy doesn't care at all.
Speaker 4: He's it. That was so buck. Yeah, nobody listening. There's
Speaker 4: a guy masturbating in the street, but he just walked right.
Speaker 4: It's so crazy when a pedestrian like right or wrong.
Speaker 4: You still gotta understand that if you get hit by
Speaker 4: a car, it doesn't matter if you're in the right
Speaker 4: or wrong. You're gonna lose that fight, you know. Yeah, Yeah,
Speaker 4: it happens in Portland for days, like just these kids
Speaker 4: on their phone steering. I mean there's signs all over
Speaker 4: the train like the it's called the Max, or like
Speaker 4: a train system. But they're just like, hey, look up
Speaker 4: when you're crossing the train tracks or the street, right,
Speaker 4: I remembering it? Anything except the street.
Speaker 1: Yeah. When I lived in Austin, all the news reports
Speaker 1: would refer to them as car pedestrian collisions, as if
Speaker 1: it's two equal forces.
Speaker 4: Yeah, oh, like it's matheroring King Kong or something like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, car versus human. The car
Speaker 1: usually would win. I would guess it's not so much
Speaker 1: a collision. That's a terrible thing that I shouldn't bring up.
Speaker 4: I got I I'm not proud of it. So I
Speaker 4: got hit by car once and I bumped into So.
Speaker 4: I was pulling up to an intersection one time, way
Speaker 4: before phones or anything. I just did not see this
Speaker 4: person going across the crosswalk and I was almost at
Speaker 4: a dead stop. I was probably going an eighth of
Speaker 4: a mile an hour and I just stopped. And then
Speaker 4: this dude jumps up in front of my hood and
Speaker 4: slams his hands down. He's like what And I started giggling.
Speaker 4: I was like, did I hit you? And he started
Speaker 4: screaming at me, and I go, sorry, it's not funny.
Speaker 4: I just I did not. I don't know how that
Speaker 4: even happened. It must have been just enough to like
Speaker 4: knock him off balance.
Speaker 1: Right, and which would make you nervously laugh, right I would.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was terrified because you know that almost thing
Speaker 4: where you're like, man, if I was going a little faster,
Speaker 4: that would have changed both of our lives. Yeah. Right.
Speaker 4: And then one time I was skating skateboarding across the
Speaker 4: street and a guy I had the right of way,
Speaker 4: and he just pulled and hit me. It was a
Speaker 4: big truck and I rolled up onto his truck and
Speaker 4: uh oh yeah, and then he flipped me off. So
Speaker 4: and so I threw my board at his car. I
Speaker 4: was a child, I was probably fifteen. I threw my board,
Speaker 4: it hit his truck and he stopped and I was
Speaker 4: just standing there because he's a grown up and like child.
Speaker 4: And then he just left and that was that.
Speaker 1: That was in Uh are you from North Dakota or South.
Speaker 4: Wow where you know you still can't skateboard down the
Speaker 4: street in that city without people calling you all the
Speaker 4: stuff they called you in the nineties. Oh?
Speaker 1: Really still to this day that's amazing because nowadays everyone
Speaker 1: yells do a kickflip, but not South Dakota.
Speaker 4: It's still Yeah, it's just they just I don't know why.
Speaker 3: Do they think it's like rebellion or see that yours
Speaker 3: you must be a punk if your skateboarding.
Speaker 4: Or something, it could be anything a little different. I
Speaker 4: think just kind of the smaller the town, the more
Speaker 4: everybody kind of wants it to be exactly the same.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but skateboarding has been around for a while. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's cool, crazy innovation.
Speaker 4: Is it cool?
Speaker 1: And I don't know, Yeah, that is so curious. It's
Speaker 1: actually good to hear because it's kind of like that
Speaker 1: in Montana still too. People are like, you still do that?
Speaker 1: They don't know the rest of the world is it's
Speaker 1: wildly popular.
Speaker 4: I yeah, I just I'm going in. I have an
Speaker 4: orthopedic doctor. Now that's where I'm at with it. And
Speaker 4: I know you've had your battles too. My ankle. He's
Speaker 4: talking about taking the blood out and like spinning.
Speaker 1: It, spinning it and blood spinner.
Speaker 4: It's like what Kobe used to go to Germany to
Speaker 4: get the right Wow, because what we didn't even have
Speaker 4: it here like fifteen years ago, but we're gonna splin
Speaker 4: it a spin it in a blood spinner and it's
Speaker 4: like plate lit enrichment or something.
Speaker 1: Sure, and then they put your blood back into you.
Speaker 4: Uh huh. And the theory is that it heals the
Speaker 4: problem area with that new stronger blood and it kind
Speaker 4: of like like it like roots digging into the ground
Speaker 4: or something.
Speaker 2: Okay, have you sprained your ankle a ton of times?
Speaker 4: I've broken my legs six, six or seven times.
Speaker 1: Every time I would see Sean, he had a new
Speaker 1: different ankle or foot or leg injury or knee. Haven't
Speaker 1: you heard my knee?
Speaker 4: There were a few like comedy festivals where I just
Speaker 4: had to crutch around just ball wings.
Speaker 1: You are the most skin skateboarder I've ever known.
Speaker 4: For sure. I ruptured my kidney one time. No, this
Speaker 4: is another thing that freaks me out because I think
Speaker 4: about how I would react if my daughter came home.
Speaker 4: So I fell really hard, but I was sixteen. I
Speaker 4: didn't think anything of it. And then I go home
Speaker 4: and I was bent over a little bit. My mom's
Speaker 4: a nurse, and she goes, what what would you do?
Speaker 4: I said nothing, I don't think and then I went
Speaker 4: to go to the bathroom straight blood. I as red
Speaker 4: as you could get and I still I still was
Speaker 4: like huh, because I now I would start bawling. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I call it, But so I called I go, mom,
Speaker 4: when you come look at this? And her she looked
Speaker 4: at it and her face got white and then rushed
Speaker 4: me to the er. They had me pee again, and
Speaker 4: then it was like raspberry iced tea. Yeah, I put
Speaker 4: a bunch of raspberry ice tea in my bad So anyway,
Speaker 4: he they did an X ray and everything, and they
Speaker 4: said it was like if you drop a watermelon and
Speaker 4: cracked the rine a little bit, That's what happened to
Speaker 4: your kidney. Could happens all the time, I guess, and
Speaker 4: it healed took like a week or something. Wow, that
Speaker 4: is the worst.
Speaker 1: Did you wrap yourself on a handrail in the.
Speaker 4: I allied up and I just didn't have my board
Speaker 4: with me, so my feet I was trying to do this.
Speaker 4: It was a nine stay Rael. I allied up, no board,
Speaker 4: but my feet stuck like the board was there, and
Speaker 4: so then my feet just stuck on the rail because
Speaker 4: there was nothing to grind. And then I fell from
Speaker 4: the top of that to the bottom of the ground. Sure,
Speaker 4: you know, probably ten feet or something. Sure, but like
Speaker 4: right onto my right on to my kidneys. Wow, that
Speaker 4: is the worst. Yeah, not cool. There were a few.
Speaker 4: I mean we hopped a fence one time and I
Speaker 4: broke my foot and in the fence like in the enclosure.
Speaker 4: So my friends had to make a little pyramid to
Speaker 4: get me out, a little teenage boy pyramid.
Speaker 1: That's great.
Speaker 2: And they had to learn cooperation.
Speaker 4: They did and they were it was It's funny. People
Speaker 4: think skateboarders a little punks, but I'm like, they came together.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, fall over the other side and one of
Speaker 4: them had to catch me.
Speaker 1: That's great.
Speaker 4: I was jumping out the window.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love a human pyramid. It's been my goal
Speaker 1: since the vacation video by the Go Gos to do
Speaker 1: a water ski pyramid. And all my friends were on board,
Speaker 1: and we tried multiple years to get in a perfect
Speaker 1: six man formation and it's simply too hard.
Speaker 4: On maybe pardon my ignorance on water skis. Yes, you
Speaker 4: were trying to do that, Yes, that seems isn't that
Speaker 4: like real hard?
Speaker 1: You need a powerful boat. Everyone knows needs to know
Speaker 1: how to water ski.
Speaker 4: For Montana, We're like we got.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, we all grew up around having access to
Speaker 1: friends with boats so everyone can stand on water skis.
Speaker 1: It's just then after everyone's up, abandoning your water skis
Speaker 1: and climbing on your friend's back while staying and we
Speaker 1: got easily got to where it's three people with someone
Speaker 1: on their back trying to get on their shoulders.
Speaker 4: And so you're standing up in the water.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, standing riding on skis, three people on with
Speaker 1: and three people on their backs.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and those size on the back of your shoulder,
Speaker 4: is it like a yeah, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: That's as far as we got, Like I have some
Speaker 1: of my on my shoulders with thighs on my neck
Speaker 1: and then like a chicken fight in the.
Speaker 4: Pool exactly, okay water. Yeah, how did they get up?
Speaker 4: They had to climb up.
Speaker 1: You Yeah, that part wasn't that hard. It's getting that
Speaker 1: that sixth person to the very top wow, and getting
Speaker 1: the two people in between the three bottom people. It's
Speaker 1: very difficult. But they used to do it in like
Speaker 1: the fifties, you know, you see the people they had
Speaker 1: bad equipment.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well they were tougher.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: They just woke up and ate steak and immediately went
Speaker 1: out and did a pair of.
Speaker 3: Me They got paid fifteen dollars an hour to try
Speaker 3: that over and over.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the thing.
Speaker 4: Put on their nicest polyester pair of shorts and hopped
Speaker 4: in the water.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's make a lot off of this.
Speaker 2: God, we can do it.
Speaker 1: What a great time. Yeah, it's still a dream. I
Speaker 1: do want it to happen eventually.
Speaker 4: There's that Buffalo wild wings right there. I was in
Speaker 4: there with a buddy one time and he started rolling.
Speaker 4: He just pulled out a bunch of weeds, started chopping
Speaker 4: it up on the table and rolling joint and I
Speaker 4: was like, I don't think you can do that in here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're not that wild he was.
Speaker 4: He goes, no, you can do it, and I go,
Speaker 4: I bet you can't, but I'm not gonna say anything.
Speaker 1: Was it a friend from Denver?
Speaker 4: No? No, Oh wow, was my buddy Jamlvine. They came
Speaker 4: over and they're like, sir, you can't do that, and
Speaker 4: I mean they were just shocked, you know. Yeah, then
Speaker 4: I kicked us out.
Speaker 1: It seems like a lot because weed's been legal in
Speaker 1: Denver for so long that friends from Denver well just
Speaker 1: openly before it was also legal here. There's a little
Speaker 1: window where you absolutely can't and yeah, I had friends
Speaker 1: from that.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I feel like going forward, I'm just gonna see it
Speaker 3: as buffalo wings because they're not willing.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, follow the rules.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, buffalo nerds.
Speaker 2: Sean, do you have?
Speaker 3: I feel you just had a special come out? Right,
Speaker 3: you should do some plugging and stuff just before we
Speaker 3: wrap this up.
Speaker 1: It's so fun time. This is so thank you for
Speaker 1: letting me do this. And here's a surprise that we have.
Speaker 1: We're dropping you off at a root canal.
Speaker 4: And you have to get good. Not a problem. I yeah,
Speaker 4: I just had a special come out. It's called girl Dad,
Speaker 4: and it's about the process of going We went through
Speaker 4: IVF my wife and I to conceive, and then just
Speaker 4: the birthing process and then I gotta ask ectomy. So
Speaker 4: it's kind of just those three things make up the
Speaker 4: hour and it's fun. I worked really hard on its
Speaker 4: first time I've like really had a cohesive thought process.
Speaker 4: I wanted to get out, you know what I mean,
Speaker 4: And I was like, man, I got drunken a party
Speaker 4: and then yeah, yeah, no shade on that. But I
Speaker 4: just it's the first time I felt like a grown
Speaker 4: up you doing stand.
Speaker 1: Upright, like the whole act is cohesive.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, and it's how it came out. It's it's
Speaker 4: The visual is on Patreon right now, but if you
Speaker 4: want to listen to it, it's on Spotify and everywhere
Speaker 4: all you know, so uh yeah, go give it a listen. Yeah,
Speaker 4: very fun.
Speaker 1: I need to because I I did a show in
Speaker 1: Portland and you were nice enough to open the show
Speaker 1: and you were just starting that material mm hmm, because
Speaker 1: all of that sounds from all those topics came up.
Speaker 1: But it's it's funny, really fun to see how far
Speaker 1: it's made.
Speaker 4: You get, Like when I was working it, because you know,
Speaker 4: the whatever a few weeks before, you kind of get
Speaker 4: to run it no matter what. And sometimes it just
Speaker 4: the room wasn't wanting to hear such heavy material, but
Speaker 4: I'm right, give a shit what you want to hear.
Speaker 4: I gotta say it. So just like a bunch of
Speaker 4: bunch of people at a wine bar, like whoa, whoa,
Speaker 4: whoa whoa. Now, yeah, that is the worst graphic IVF
Speaker 4: talk was it was.
Speaker 3: It is It a little bit like more one man
Speaker 3: show ish than your average stand up because you're kind
Speaker 3: of getting into personal, serious stuff.
Speaker 4: It feels like, yeah, I'm and it took. I think
Speaker 4: I kind of have I can get by with like
Speaker 4: talking about that stuff, and people don't get too offended.
Speaker 4: I don't know why, maybe because I had just tone
Speaker 4: of voice or something, but people are ready to listen
Speaker 4: and then you just you punch it up in the
Speaker 4: right places. But there's definitely some things. I mean, you know,
Speaker 4: we miscarried and talked about that in there. Obviously that's
Speaker 4: not a joke, but it I feel like you got
Speaker 4: to talk about it a little bit.
Speaker 1: It's finally relatable to most people that get pregnant that
Speaker 1: first time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that that idea that like most publicly people don't
Speaker 3: understand how often miscarriages happen, and that that's almost like
Speaker 3: a woman's secret or something.
Speaker 4: Is it's one out of five. I found out that
Speaker 4: one out of five women that have a child had
Speaker 4: a miscarriage first. And again that's not the that's not
Speaker 4: the bulk of the humor on the special. It's definitely
Speaker 4: you got to.
Speaker 1: Talk about it.
Speaker 2: You made a mistake by not making it the bulk of.
Speaker 4: The Yeah, it was really fun. And then I do
Speaker 4: a podcast with Ian Carmel and David Bori and it's
Speaker 4: called All Fantasy Everything. It's Ian's podcast and David and
Speaker 4: I are lucky enough to be a part. But we're
Speaker 4: doing a big tour in June. We're going all over
Speaker 4: the East coast in the Midwest, so fun. Yeah, if
Speaker 4: you want to come check any shows out. It is
Speaker 4: a fun live show.
Speaker 1: That's terrific. Yeah, man, I and you are you do
Speaker 1: that remotely? Then with them we do?
Speaker 4: Right? It has it has worked. I mean it thank
Speaker 4: thankfully for zoom because as soon as COVID hit, I
Speaker 4: was in a long distance relationship with my now wife.
Speaker 4: She lived in Portland, right, and I was like, I'm
Speaker 4: gonna move back at some point.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it only makes sense. Okay, we're gonna have to
Speaker 1: help these guys. Yeah, we'll usually help out and pull
Speaker 1: right up to us.
Speaker 4: Is there car on the train track somewhere?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, could you guys move this car just a little
Speaker 3: and not in a way that gets it out of
Speaker 3: the way.
Speaker 4: I had so my mom she fell one time. She
Speaker 4: I'll save the spury of the details, but she was
Speaker 4: badly injured and I had to call them one. She's okay,
Speaker 4: but I had to call them one in the fire
Speaker 4: departments showed up first, and I was so mad because
Speaker 4: I didn't know firefighters could do anything cool like that.
Speaker 4: I thought they'd just put out fires. Yeah, and then
Speaker 4: they went and saved your life. And I was like,
Speaker 4: oh man, sorry, I got you guys all wrong.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, what are you doing here?
Speaker 4: I was all red face serious.
Speaker 1: I was like, there's no fire here. Why are you
Speaker 1: always the first to respond? Yep, they do it all,
Speaker 1: Yep they do we are we are a fireman friendly
Speaker 1: car and podcast.
Speaker 4: This might be the nicest car I've ever been in,
Speaker 4: So thanks that alone is fun pleasure.
Speaker 3: I'm definitely going to get rid of it since the
Speaker 3: guy that there's no that's famous for it is a
Speaker 3: now I guess a public nazi. Very uncomfortable to drive
Speaker 3: it around.
Speaker 1: But look at these look at these lines and contours.
Speaker 4: I mean absolutely, it's nice design.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll say, well, listen, hoop dreams. We're gonna I
Speaker 1: called them hoop dreams once. Wait, I'm still feeling.
Speaker 4: I walked. It was when he lived with David and
Speaker 4: I forget who else, but we walked from I walked
Speaker 4: from Largo to Culver City. It's a long hour, a
Speaker 4: deep deep Culver's I got to their house. I was
Speaker 4: cashed out, and I locked the door like you would,
Speaker 4: and then Chris banging on the door like two in
Speaker 4: the morning, and I came to unlock it, and I
Speaker 4: had messed shorts and no shirt, and he's like, we
Speaker 4: don't lock the door around here, hoop dreams, and then
Speaker 4: he just went to his room.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry.
Speaker 4: I was red.
Speaker 1: I barely knew you at the time.
Speaker 4: It was great. Oh you're the.
Speaker 1: Best, the best really quick.
Speaker 2: Though.
Speaker 3: What you don't know is that this whole episode has
Speaker 3: been a test because Chris, remember your Oakley.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we're going to do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, what do you think of my new glasses?
Speaker 4: I like them.
Speaker 1: I shouldn't have said it was his voice, crack.
Speaker 4: I don't like him, I said, I like him. I
Speaker 4: like him. I like him.
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 4: In the end, I.
Speaker 1: Had a selection of all type vocals at this golf thing,
Speaker 1: and these are the ones with the lenses that help.
Speaker 1: I mean, I put them on. I'm like, oh, I
Speaker 1: don't need glasses anymore. They're they're a little more aggressive
Speaker 1: than I go.
Speaker 4: I go a little more aviator style.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and guess what style was the first pair I
Speaker 1: tried on full on, very avian and then these ones
Speaker 1: though giving coup ready to give a little stick time in.
Speaker 3: I said, it's I don't think it's misrepresenting you or
Speaker 3: something along the lines. And then Chris was like, you'll
Speaker 3: see he'll give me a bunch of shit about these.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Then it's like, well they think they were just up
Speaker 2: on your.
Speaker 1: We've all grown as a father now. He just said supportively.
Speaker 2: I like him, and stop testing me, just trying to my.
Speaker 4: Voice, did crack.
Speaker 2: Pressure?
Speaker 4: I wear backwards hat still? And can the aforementioned Kyle
Speaker 4: Cane he came up. He's like, I think you're a
Speaker 4: backwards heat guy. Man.
Speaker 1: Sorry, Oh that's great anyway.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's tough business.
Speaker 4: Thank you so much. Yes, thank you.
Speaker 1: I love you, buddy. Good to see you.
Speaker 4: Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: You've been listening to Do you need a ride? D
Speaker 1: yan Aar. This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 3: Produced by Analise Nelson, mixed by Edson Choi. Our talent
Speaker 3: booker is Patrick Cootner.
Speaker 1: Theme song by Karen Kilgarrett.
Speaker 2: Artwork by Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 3: Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook at dinar podcast.
Speaker 1: That's d y n Ar Podcast for more information, go
Speaker 1: to exactly rightmedia dot com. Thank you, Oh, you're welcome.