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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast.

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Speaker 2: Happy New Year.

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Speaker 3: Happy New Year.

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Speaker 4: Alan has been very busy back he built the sweetest

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Speaker 4: fire pit for Jace in the I mean pretty much,

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Speaker 4: how did that even start?

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Speaker 3: We've been well. I did tell you a year ago

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Speaker 3: that we I don't want to bring that up. I

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Speaker 3: would do a fire pit, but the plan was to

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Speaker 3: do it in the yard at that point of the

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Speaker 3: garden at that point. And then I went a walk

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Speaker 3: a couple of weeks ago in the forest and the

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Speaker 3: with Jason. I thought, no, that's actually loads of spots

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Speaker 3: in here. We we could have a good fire pit.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So it got me thinking, and it got my creative

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Speaker 3: mind thinking. And then I thought, okay, so we can

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Speaker 3: see there's one particular spot in the forest we can

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Speaker 3: see from the house. It's fairly flat.

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Speaker 4: Half of it on our land, part of it, enough

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Speaker 4: of it is. One of it is on our land.

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Speaker 3: So I just thought, do you know what, rather than

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Speaker 3: build it in the yard up and build it in

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Speaker 3: there and it's in the forest and it feels like

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Speaker 3: more like a campfire.

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Speaker 4: It totally does.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so it feels like a campfire. But I mean

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Speaker 3: it took me. It was spread over three days because

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Speaker 3: I couldn't get I couldn't get like a really long

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Speaker 3: period of time to do it. But I used all

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Speaker 3: the The only materials that I did not use were

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Speaker 3: the big bits of timber which I got from home

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Speaker 3: depot and the stones surround it inside it. Oh that

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Speaker 3: everything else I got from the land.

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Speaker 2: That.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it was so sweet. He was like, you know,

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Speaker 4: I'm going to do this fire you know, fire pit

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Speaker 4: for New Year's Eve was the was is to be

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Speaker 4: able to do smores out back and it was so

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Speaker 4: it was just so sweet and the kids loved it.

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Speaker 4: It was just really special. So I appreciate you doing that.

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Speaker 3: And it's actually as it sits there now, it's actually

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Speaker 3: a good level reflection area. Well.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and that that New Year's Eve night, we had

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Speaker 4: Lee and you know, Sarah Bryce over and their kids

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Speaker 4: and we were sitting out back and one of my

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Speaker 4: favorite things growing up was doing bonfires up north, and

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Speaker 4: so Sarah had asked me, She's like, you know, is

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Speaker 4: it what is your you know what is she It

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Speaker 4: was like earth wind fire? What was that? Wind? Or

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Speaker 4: earth wind fire? Water? And she said, which one do

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Speaker 4: you connect with most? Most and I said, you know,

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Speaker 4: for me, it's always water and fire, because like anytime

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Speaker 4: i'm ever buy water and I'm by fire, my like

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Speaker 4: blood pressure, my whole everything, just like I'm at peace.

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Speaker 4: And when I stare at a fire, it's the most

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Speaker 4: relaxing thing to me. And so even last night when

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Speaker 4: I got back from vision boarding at Pam's with the girls,

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Speaker 4: you know, you and Jas were up there and just

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Speaker 4: sitting up there for five minutes was so relaxing. And

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Speaker 4: then when I went in to go, you know, put

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Speaker 4: Jas to bed. Just kind of seeing you out there too,

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Speaker 4: sitting by yourself. I wasn't like, oh, he's by himself.

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Speaker 4: I was like, Oh, this is he's having a peaceful moment. M.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's really it's a really reflective area because you're

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Speaker 3: surrounded by the trees, surrounded by all the nice stone.

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Speaker 3: You'll feel safe because you can see the house. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's not too far from the house. When you're in

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Speaker 3: the forest. No, you're not sharing the forest with the

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Speaker 3: bales or the bobcats.

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Speaker 4: So I don't know if we have we have bears

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Speaker 4: up north, Yeah, we have Gamberg.

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Speaker 3: We have bobcats.

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Speaker 4: We have bobcats, But would they hurt us by the fire.

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Speaker 4: I have no clue how that works unless you've.

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Speaker 3: Got a fish sitting beside you. A fish. Cats love fish,

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Speaker 3: doesn't they bombcats? Really? I didn't know that a favorite

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Speaker 3: meal of fish?

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Speaker 4: Really, I think?

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Speaker 3: So, are you sure cats love fish?

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Speaker 2: Ye?

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Speaker 3: Well, British cat British cats love fish, American ones.

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Speaker 4: I've never heard that before.

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Speaker 3: I think if you put a piece of meat down

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Speaker 3: and a piece of fish, then a cat will go

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Speaker 3: for a piece of fish.

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Speaker 4: Really yeah, huh.

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Speaker 3: Google it. But anyway, I finally got it complete and

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Speaker 3: it's it's functioning. It's pretty basic right now.

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Speaker 4: It's so great, but it's you don't need it to

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Speaker 4: be anything. The only thing I would add in the

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Speaker 4: summertime is like little teaky torches m first for mosquitos

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Speaker 4: and stuff. But besides that, I'm like, it's great.

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Speaker 3: Well, we need to get some new chairs because we've

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Speaker 3: got the football sports chairs.

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Speaker 4: Yeah that's fine, but those are comfy, those are cozy.

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Speaker 4: But it's a new year, very exciting. Uh. I've already

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Speaker 4: managed to mess up my knee in the news. So

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Speaker 4: I'm about to go film a movie in four days

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Speaker 4: and I'm just like, why why like my back still,

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Speaker 4: Like I'm like why, And then I said, so I

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Speaker 4: said to Ali yesterday, I'm like, is this a bad

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Speaker 4: sign for the new year? Is this how my new

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Speaker 4: year is going to be hurt and injured? I'm going

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Speaker 4: to be limping on set. I supposed to have a

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Speaker 4: call with the director of the movie I'm doing today.

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Speaker 4: And the very first scene that I'm filming is she

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Speaker 4: kneels down and starts crying. I can't kneel down.

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Speaker 3: You will be able to? I will.

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Speaker 4: I can't bend in a squat? How am I like?

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Speaker 4: And I can't get on the phone with this director

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Speaker 4: that I don't even know, like she'll like I know

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Speaker 4: her work or whatever, but like we've never met before.

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Speaker 4: And the first thing I say is like, I'm hurt.

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Speaker 4: I can't do that.

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Speaker 3: I'm going to go.

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Speaker 4: Down and like shoot the duck position, and like in skating,

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Speaker 4: it's only I'm going to be able to get down

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Speaker 4: and just on my one my one knee. I can't

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Speaker 4: bend my knee.

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Speaker 3: How many days from now have you got for filming?

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Speaker 4: I film on Monday. I leave Sunday, so I've got

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Speaker 4: four days.

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Speaker 3: He says. Monday was a fetting day, No I film.

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Speaker 3: It's a half day day and Monday. That's yeah, you'll

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Speaker 3: be fine. We'll get the inflammation out and you'll be able.

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Speaker 4: To I'm pretty sure I toured the position, so that's that.

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Speaker 4: I'm very I'm very excited to start the new year

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Speaker 4: off with the movie. But now I'm just like.

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Speaker 3: You will be fine. You will be fine. Believe me

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Speaker 3: that the inflammation and the swelling will be sposed, but

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Speaker 3: by Monday, you'll be fine.

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Speaker 4: The best is that, even though my husband is a

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Speaker 4: was a former professional soccer player, football player and has

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Speaker 4: been around all these pets in his entire life, yesterday

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Speaker 4: when it happened, I'm putting ice on my knee and

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Speaker 4: then he's putting heat on. But I still need to

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Speaker 4: google everything, so I'm, you know, googling, and I'm like, honey,

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Speaker 4: Google says that you actually shouldn't put heat on right away,

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Speaker 4: and then you got mad at me because I'm means

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Speaker 4: like listening to the Google.

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Speaker 3: General inflammation from Google and it was the basis decision.

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Speaker 4: Yeah and yeah, anyways, but good times, I'm.

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Speaker 3: Sure someone will come on and call me out and

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Speaker 3: see that I'm wrong, and all those will come out

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Speaker 3: and hold me out and see that I'm right.

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Speaker 4: What are you most excited for this year? Because we

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Speaker 4: were talking last night when you were in the bath,

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Speaker 4: I said, I'm kind of I'm not struggling, but I'm

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Speaker 4: just last year I was able to go, oh, this year,

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Speaker 4: we're getting married, We're going to Italy. You know, we

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Speaker 4: have our honeymoon.

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Speaker 3: I had your walts, well, you have nothing to look.

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Speaker 5: For, no, but I didn't mean I mean, I didn't

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Speaker 5: mean it in so this is like I just like

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Speaker 5: I had so much to look forward to last year,

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Speaker 5: and like I know I have a lot to work for, like,

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Speaker 5: but like I like to have something planned, Like I

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Speaker 5: like to know, okay, we are going here, Like it's

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Speaker 5: something to just look forward to, because if it's not,

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Speaker 5: it's every day is like the grind and work and

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Speaker 5: you know, survive and kids and all that is beautiful

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Speaker 5: and love and I'm so happy to be alive and

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Speaker 5: you know, limping and healthy.

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Speaker 4: But like you know, it's I like to have something

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Speaker 4: to look forward to. It's just something that helps me

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Speaker 4: motivated to do everything else that I'm doing around it,

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Speaker 4: if that makes sense, Like having the wedding and the

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Speaker 4: honeymoon to look forward to last year helped to motivate

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Speaker 4: me pre and after. You know that makes sense, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: it does.

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Speaker 3: So we need to plan a couple of vacations, all

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Speaker 3: of these.

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Speaker 4: I just need one or just something like it could

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Speaker 4: be a family trip, it could be.

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Speaker 3: You look it up past a couple of years ago.

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Speaker 3: We travel numerous times a year.

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Speaker 4: We took our first vacation last year together in February. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: our first vacation we ever.

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Speaker 3: Took constantly taking many ones.

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Speaker 4: No, we're not it's work. You see what I'm saying.

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Speaker 4: Like the wedding and honeymoon was not work. It was

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Speaker 4: beautiful and relaxation and something to look forward to.

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Speaker 3: Okay, so let's book something. What are you, little wife,

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Speaker 3: come for our new year? Thinking I had nothing to

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Speaker 3: look forward to?

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Speaker 4: What are you looking forward to? Well?

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Speaker 3: Am I looking forward to? Well, it's a thing. I'm

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Speaker 3: looking forward to a professional thing because I'm going to look.

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Speaker 3: I'm going to open my own facility, at our own

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Speaker 3: facility this year, the first and the facility aim towards

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Speaker 3: purely goal scoring. Everything that's aimed towards being a better goalscorer.

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Speaker 3: There's nothing like it. And I don't think it's even

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Speaker 3: ending like it in the world that does it too,

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Speaker 3: that'll do it to this kind of detail and professionalism.

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Speaker 3: So that's exciting.

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Speaker 4: I'm excited for you.

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Speaker 3: That's exciting. So that'll be a and that'll be good

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Speaker 3: because it will almost be like a legacy type piece

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Speaker 3: as well, something to look forward to they can build

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Speaker 3: and enfranchising. So that's that was a big part of

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Speaker 3: the growing our marriage and not showing our marriage.

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Speaker 4: That's just the obvious.

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Speaker 3: Yes, it's still a high priority. A lot of people

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Speaker 3: just take it for There's loads of things training Troy,

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Speaker 3: like watching the kids grow. I'm excited for sports season

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Speaker 3: coming back as well. Yeah, mh this Roman will be

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Speaker 3: one and a half so you can one play, you

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Speaker 3: can join a team.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, all he's eating rocks. Yes, new. We

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Speaker 4: had a show that we watched last year that I

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Speaker 4: was actually very surprised. Alan wanted to sit down and

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Speaker 4: watch it with me. But we kind of needed a

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Speaker 4: filler show. Well, we were out of our other shows.

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Speaker 4: It was called the Ultimatum.

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Speaker 3: Do we just finished Yellows though we had just.

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Speaker 4: Finished Allstone, that's right, and we needed something totally different,

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Speaker 4: so we started watching Ultimatum, and we have Sandy coming

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Speaker 4: on Today's Adult Education and she was the one that

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Speaker 4: came on the show with Nick, and you know, Nick

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Speaker 4: gave her an ultimatum, have you No, you haven't. I

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Speaker 4: feel like, even the premise of the show, if you

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Speaker 4: have to give someone an ultimatum to be with you,

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Speaker 4: then that should be your biggest.

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Speaker 3: Signs trouble in power.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, but I feel like it could also be something

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Speaker 4: where for the guy, like if a girl has has

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Speaker 4: anyone ever given you an ultimatum? Kind of? Maybe? Kind

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Speaker 4: of and like what did you do with that? Well,

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Speaker 4: obviously it didn't work. I'm here, But but I feel

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Speaker 4: like if that person gave you an ultimatum and you,

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Speaker 4: you know, realized, oh crap, okay, I got to get

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Speaker 4: my stuff together, then that could be the opportunity for

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Speaker 4: you then to go, I don't want to lose this person,

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Speaker 4: which you know on the show, some people ended up

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Speaker 4: leaving with their people because they realized, wait, I don't

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Speaker 4: want to I don't want to not be with them.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I can be a positive, defining moment.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. So I'm just very intrigued by the concept and

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Speaker 4: the show. And Sandy was a fan favorite. So she

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Speaker 4: is here, let's get her on.

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Speaker 2: Hey girl, Hey, yeah, how are you?

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Speaker 4: Happy New Year?

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Speaker 2: Happy New Year?

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Speaker 4: So nice to meet you. I'm Jana. This is my

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Speaker 4: husband Alan.

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Speaker 3: Nice to meet you.

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Speaker 2: I know who you are. I'm a big fan.

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Speaker 4: Ah, thanks Carol. I mean we're ye're fans of yours too,

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Speaker 4: because we watched Ultimatum.

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Speaker 2: I know, so crazy. I'm so sorry.

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Speaker 4: Why are you sorry?

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Speaker 1: Because it's just like it was the craziest thing and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god. The fact that people are

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Speaker 1: watching this like over the holidays with their families, like

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Speaker 1: just watching my love life just completely explode.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, happy holidays, You're like enjoying my misery.

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Speaker 4: Felicea Navidad.

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Speaker 2: Literally I'm like, Merry Christmas. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Did you watch it back?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: You did?

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Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah for sure, I mean how could I not,

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Speaker 2: you know?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: We actually, I mean.

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Speaker 1: We watched it the night before the reunion, like a

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Speaker 1: month ago before it came out. So I watched the

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Speaker 1: whole thing and literally one day and I was just like,

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Speaker 1: oh my, then you go straight into the reunion. So

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Speaker 1: that was really crazy. But yeah, I watched it back

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Speaker 1: like with my friends and family and stuff and just

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Speaker 1: I just had fun during it, but it also was

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Speaker 1: just it's.

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Speaker 2: It's really weird and hard to watch back. Of course, what.

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Speaker 4: Was the hardest moment to watch back for you?

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Speaker 2: There's a lot of different moments honestly, but I think just.

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Speaker 1: The stuff with Nick, you know, like that's there's so

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Speaker 1: much more to our story and just the relationship. So

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Speaker 1: I think it was really hard to kind of watch

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Speaker 1: how it played out on TV and I'm just like,

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Speaker 1: that's not exactly how it happened, you know, and it's

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Speaker 1: just a really like sensitive thing because it's my real relationship. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, I think especially the night that he comes

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Speaker 1: the apartment, which was kind of like the big like

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Speaker 1: tipping point, that was a really hard night for me,

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Speaker 1: like just what actually happened and seeing the way that

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Speaker 1: it played out was just like okay, but yeah, I

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Speaker 1: mean honestly, a lot of it was hard to watch back.

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Speaker 2: I'm not Gallae.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, well, I feel like the editing of things is

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Speaker 4: always the tricky piece because you, like you just said,

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Speaker 4: like there's so much more to the story. Is there

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Speaker 4: was there one thing in editing that you were like, okay,

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Speaker 4: like that's just not fair.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean kind of the night that he comes

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Speaker 1: to the apartment, honestly, because it was just like the

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Speaker 1: way that it looks is that he calls me once

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Speaker 1: and I'm like just hang up on him. Like that

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Speaker 1: was after he had been calling me like excessively, like

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Speaker 1: to the point where it's like I don't care if

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Speaker 1: you're my boyfriend, if you're my friend, if you're a stranger.

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Speaker 1: Like it was really inappropriate and just crossed so many boundaries,

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Speaker 1: and it was more than just calling and texting, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's like the overall communication and behaviors. And yeah, I

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Speaker 1: mean I had sat on the phone with him for

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Speaker 1: hours that night, talking to him, trying to calm him down.

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Speaker 2: And I think what people don't understand.

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Speaker 6: Before the door, yeah, yeah, before okay, yeah, And I

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Speaker 6: had been doing that for days and weeks at that point, like,

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Speaker 6: you know, because that was towards the end of my

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Speaker 6: trial marriage with JR.

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Speaker 1: So it just kind of got worse and worse and worse.

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Speaker 1: And it was really late at night. It was like

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Speaker 1: one o'clock in the morning. We had my family meeting

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Speaker 1: the next morning at like seven am, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: I need to go to bed, like you're not respecting,

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Speaker 1: you know, my boundaries in myself. And he was actually

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Speaker 1: with my mom and my best friend before that.

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Speaker 2: And he was wasted, like wasted. So it's like anyone

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Speaker 2: that you know, if your if your boyfriend or girlfriend

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Speaker 2: even is like wasted, they're not in the right headspace

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Speaker 2: to talk to you, and it's just it's not going

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Speaker 2: to be beneficial.

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Speaker 1: So, yeah, he had told me that he was gonna

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Speaker 1: come to the apartment, and I was like, no, you're not.

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Speaker 2: You're not coming to this apartment. First of all, we're

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Speaker 2: not allowed to.

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Speaker 1: See each other there. They have like very strict rules,

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Speaker 1: so that was a big thing.

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Speaker 2: And also JR lives there, and so JR was pissed,

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Speaker 2: and that's what you see, just him.

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Speaker 1: Coming to the door, and Jar immediately was like, I'm

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Speaker 1: getting the door. You're staying back because now I'm pissed

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Speaker 1: off right now, And so he kind of was getting

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Speaker 1: protective and went to like talk to Nick and they.

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Speaker 2: Just nothing really happened.

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Speaker 1: They just kind of went at it, and then you know,

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Speaker 1: Nick left and continued to again call and just bombard me,

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Speaker 1: and so then I blocked him at that point because

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Speaker 1: I was like, you're not respecting me, I have to

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Speaker 1: I have to literally block you in order for like

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Speaker 1: this to stop, you know. And other stuff happened that

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Speaker 1: night honestly, which don't really need to get it too,

345
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Speaker 1: but there was just a lot of things.

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Speaker 2: That were going on off camera, and it was it

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Speaker 2: was honestly a hard night for me.

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Speaker 1: And so then seeing the way that that played out,

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Speaker 1: I was just like, oh, Okay, that's.

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Speaker 2: Not at all what happened.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, and you know, and I got obviously a

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Speaker 1: lot of backlash for that because the way that it looks,

353
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Speaker 1: of course, is like how could you just let somebody

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Speaker 1: that you have been you know, you've loved for a while,

355
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Speaker 1: Like how could you let them cry like that? And yeah,

356
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Speaker 1: I mean I think also looking back though, in that moment,

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Speaker 1: I didn't realize how much he really needed me and

358
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Speaker 1: like what was really going on, because again I was

359
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Speaker 1: just like so in my own experience and I was

360
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Speaker 1: so put off by you know, his communication and behaviors,

361
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Speaker 1: and it's like a cyclical pattern with him, so I

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Speaker 1: know what's coming, so I just know to kind of

363
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Speaker 1: shut off.

364
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Speaker 2: But I do think in that moment it was a

365
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Speaker 2: unique that you give in.

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Speaker 1: The circumstances and I honestly should have just been.

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Speaker 2: In there for him and just like drawn everything, but.

368
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Speaker 4: Also like not too. They're like, I feel like one

369
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Speaker 4: of the things that I I stock up for you, like,

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Speaker 4: you know, because I was like, we didn't know you

371
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Speaker 4: guys and were watching and we all form our opinions

372
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Speaker 4: as viewers. But one of the things I would say

373
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Speaker 4: to my husband, I'm like, I respect the fact that

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Speaker 4: you were actually trying to do the process, you know

375
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Speaker 4: what I mean, Like, and that's something where it must

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00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:29,399
Speaker 4: have been so hard, but at least you were, you

377
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,879
Speaker 4: were trying to do what the whole show was about,

378
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,879
Speaker 4: instead of leaving, instead of doing that. It's like you

379
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:36,560
Speaker 4: were you were actively trying to participate. And that's one

380
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:38,919
Speaker 4: thing that I was like, at least she's trying, you know,

381
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:44,640
Speaker 4: and actually doing the experiment and yeah, and that that part,

382
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Speaker 4: I was like, that's where I started to get because

383
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:48,399
Speaker 4: at first I was more team Nick, you know, in

384
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Speaker 4: the very beginning, and then I then I went more

385
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:54,520
Speaker 4: team Sandy because I'm like, he's not allowing he's not

386
00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:56,199
Speaker 4: giving her the space, and I'm like, honestly, dude, you're

387
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,600
Speaker 4: pushing her farther away, like this is again just viewers

388
00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:00,480
Speaker 4: like talking to the TV. But I've like if I

389
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:03,000
Speaker 4: was you, I was like, I'm annoyed now, Like I

390
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,600
Speaker 4: would be like screw this, like respect and you brought

391
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Speaker 4: me here.

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Speaker 3: Well, the part I couldn't get was that everyone knows

393
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:12,919
Speaker 3: the rules and he has to respect the fact that

394
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,439
Speaker 3: you're in a trial marriage with someone else. His person

395
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:19,280
Speaker 3: has left, which was unfortunate for him. But then did

396
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:21,480
Speaker 3: he have to stay in the apartment? Could he have

397
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:24,040
Speaker 3: went to a bar or a restaurant, or could he

398
00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:26,159
Speaker 3: have went anywhere on his own or did he have

399
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:28,959
Speaker 3: to stay in the apartment And he's his own misery.

400
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Speaker 2: I mean, he would have to like live there, but

401
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:33,159
Speaker 2: he can go do you know?

402
00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:36,879
Speaker 1: Whatever he did, he would go out and golf and

403
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:41,840
Speaker 1: do different activities, get it out too. But like he yeah,

404
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:46,399
Speaker 1: he didn't have to stay in the apartment. Him and

405
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,600
Speaker 1: Mariah had the option of like pairing up and doing

406
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:50,760
Speaker 1: a trial marriage with each other, and honestly, they probably

407
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:54,720
Speaker 1: should have because it's they would have gotten I think

408
00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:57,920
Speaker 1: a little bit more out of the experience. But he

409
00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:01,919
Speaker 1: was really really closed off to everything. And that's what

410
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:04,240
Speaker 1: that was like where my frustration was coming from and

411
00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:07,879
Speaker 1: like you wanted to do this. He was so gung

412
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:14,080
Speaker 1: ho about it and so nonchalant, like very unbothered, very unseerious,

413
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,520
Speaker 1: joking about it. And then it was like once we

414
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:19,560
Speaker 1: got there and he kind of realized he wasn't really

415
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:22,760
Speaker 1: connecting with any of the girls and wasn't really having

416
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,760
Speaker 1: like the experience that he thought he was going to have,

417
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:27,520
Speaker 1: it was like all of a sudden, everything goes out

418
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Speaker 1: the window and he wanted me to just like stop

419
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:36,679
Speaker 1: my experience as well, and exactly what you said, like,

420
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Speaker 1: I was really just trying to give it my all,

421
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:41,280
Speaker 1: like both with JR.

422
00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:42,880
Speaker 2: And with Nick, and.

423
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:47,600
Speaker 1: You know, there are a lot of there's like structures,

424
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,760
Speaker 1: there's a structure to it, there's rules, and I was

425
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:53,040
Speaker 1: honestly following the rules. A lot of people weren't, and

426
00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:58,240
Speaker 1: I think it was like didn't really work in my favor,

427
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:02,800
Speaker 1: I guess following the rules so like strictly and like

428
00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:06,360
Speaker 1: really trying to like not you know, communicate so much.

429
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:09,240
Speaker 2: With Nick and just like be there with JR. And whatever.

430
00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:12,920
Speaker 2: But yeah, that was something that I.

431
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 1: Just couldn't understand because I was like, we're here, you know,

432
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:20,760
Speaker 1: people left, So if you want to leave, you know,

433
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:24,760
Speaker 1: maybe we should have. But it's like, then what's gonna happen?

434
00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:26,920
Speaker 1: What was the point of coming here and doing this?

435
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,520
Speaker 1: And you know, I was trying to give him that

436
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:31,720
Speaker 1: reassurance while I was in the trial marriage with JR.

437
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:34,560
Speaker 1: Like I was really communicating with him and like trying

438
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:37,159
Speaker 1: to make sure that he knew, look like I'm in this,

439
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:38,400
Speaker 1: I'm doing a trial marriage.

440
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:39,600
Speaker 2: Just like what we signed up for.

441
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:43,719
Speaker 1: Nothing is like happening. It's just we're we're you know,

442
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:46,400
Speaker 1: we're going through the steps and through the process. And

443
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:49,600
Speaker 1: he wasn't like he wasn't accepting the reassurance that I

444
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:51,760
Speaker 1: was giving him in the communication. And then it just

445
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:56,440
Speaker 1: got really really out of control, honestly, and it was

446
00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:57,639
Speaker 1: to the point where I was like, Okay, this is

447
00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:01,080
Speaker 1: actually just disrespectful the way that you're communicating to me

448
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:03,479
Speaker 1: and the position that you're putting me in as well.

449
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:06,680
Speaker 1: I felt like I was being pulled in like seventeen

450
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:11,200
Speaker 1: different directions, and I was just putting myself last because

451
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:12,000
Speaker 1: I was trying to show.

452
00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:12,800
Speaker 2: Up for everybody else.

453
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:18,680
Speaker 1: And I think that's where, you know, I just kind

454
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:24,080
Speaker 1: of like I just kind of like grumbled, Yeah, I

455
00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:24,359
Speaker 1: don't know.

456
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:27,840
Speaker 2: It was a really weird experience.

457
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,760
Speaker 3: Do you think that you guys would still be together

458
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:33,200
Speaker 3: if you hadn't went on the show?

459
00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:40,720
Speaker 1: We probably would have stayed together much longer, But I

460
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:42,199
Speaker 1: do think that we still would have gotten to the

461
00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:47,080
Speaker 1: same answer. And I think that's with the whole experience.

462
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,480
Speaker 1: It just expedites everything, Like that's kind.

463
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:52,040
Speaker 2: Of the point of it. It's like, go through this process.

464
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,399
Speaker 1: If you guys can survive this and you're good, like

465
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:58,200
Speaker 1: get engaged, get married, if not break up, like don't

466
00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:00,840
Speaker 1: do it in between things where you stay together. And

467
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:03,640
Speaker 1: I think, naturally, like that's what we want to do

468
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:06,160
Speaker 1: because we're like, Okay, well we're not ready to get engaged,

469
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:08,760
Speaker 1: but we're also not ready to fully break up. Especially

470
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:12,639
Speaker 1: going through that process, it kind of breaks you and

471
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:15,760
Speaker 1: then like rebuilds you. So obviously the first half of

472
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:20,879
Speaker 1: it was like so just destructive for my relationship, and

473
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:23,199
Speaker 1: then the second half, which we don't really get to see,

474
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:25,080
Speaker 1: Nick and I worked through a lot of stuff and

475
00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:27,600
Speaker 1: we actually got really close and you're in a really

476
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:31,800
Speaker 1: good spot still though, Like to me, I just kind

477
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:34,320
Speaker 1: of knew in my gut, like it wasn't enough, and

478
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:39,480
Speaker 1: after seeing what had really unfolded like through the first

479
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:42,399
Speaker 1: half of it's it does it gives you kind of

480
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:44,879
Speaker 1: a preview into like maybe what life would be like

481
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:48,040
Speaker 1: if we're in a marriage. Real shit happens, Like it

482
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:51,800
Speaker 1: gets much harder when there's marriage and kids involved, you know,

483
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:55,159
Speaker 1: And I'm like, if this is how you're reacting to

484
00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:59,560
Speaker 1: something that we really knew what we were like signing

485
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:02,280
Speaker 1: up for, and you know in your head it's like

486
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:06,240
Speaker 1: this is not it's not real life. We're in this

487
00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:10,040
Speaker 1: controlled experience. This would never happen outside of here, and

488
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:14,760
Speaker 1: you're crashing out that hard where it's like actually seriously

489
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:21,080
Speaker 1: like destructive? What could happen when you know there's kids involved?

490
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 1: And it's like, so I do think that we would

491
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:27,320
Speaker 1: have broken up, It just probably would have taken us longer.

492
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:29,640
Speaker 1: So I am grateful for, you know, the fact that

493
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:32,400
Speaker 1: it was like, Okay, maybe we've saved ourselves another two

494
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:34,480
Speaker 1: three years of going through the relationship.

495
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:38,520
Speaker 3: I think the show, as much as there's so much

496
00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:41,360
Speaker 3: craziness going on and so many different dynamics, I think

497
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:43,480
Speaker 3: the one thing for me that the show made really

498
00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:46,960
Speaker 3: clear was you could see and the videals that were

499
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,440
Speaker 3: prepared to lose the other person, and you could see

500
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 3: the individuals that were prepared not to lose the other person.

501
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,760
Speaker 3: I mean, I look at you and Nick, Sandy, you

502
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:57,879
Speaker 3: could see that there was a part of you it

503
00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:00,320
Speaker 3: was prepared to lose him and it was all the

504
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:02,479
Speaker 3: best thing for you is you could see his panic

505
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:05,320
Speaker 3: and insecurity kicking in when he felt he was going

506
00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:07,679
Speaker 3: to lose you, and then all of a sudden, I

507
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:11,280
Speaker 3: can't lose this person. Who see that dynamic of that's

508
00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:13,840
Speaker 3: not going to work because she she could live without him,

509
00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:16,639
Speaker 3: but he can't live without her. Yeah, you could, and

510
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:19,040
Speaker 3: that was that was true for I think a few

511
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:21,560
Speaker 3: other people as well. So as much as the show

512
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:26,119
Speaker 3: had all this madness going on, you could really clearly

513
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 3: see Okay, yes, she's prepared to lose him, or he's

514
00:26:28,359 --> 00:26:31,240
Speaker 3: not prepared to lose herr Or vice versa. Yeah, it

515
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:34,520
Speaker 3: was interesting to see that that kind of dynamic as well.

516
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,320
Speaker 4: Do you hate the fact that everyone thinks use up

517
00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:50,840
Speaker 4: with jar.

518
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:54,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's actually like there's nothing worse when you're like

519
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:58,240
Speaker 1: I actually didn't sleep with her, right, I'm like Jesus Christ,

520
00:26:58,359 --> 00:27:03,320
Speaker 1: Like I know I'm like, it's really it sucks, you know,

521
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:06,160
Speaker 1: like as the girl, I think for maybe guys, it's

522
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:08,840
Speaker 1: like not that big of a deal. But it's just like, okay,

523
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:12,920
Speaker 1: people trying to tell me what happened everything, and it does.

524
00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:14,080
Speaker 2: It is unfortunate.

525
00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:18,479
Speaker 1: I understand how it looks, so I don't blame people

526
00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:20,320
Speaker 1: for thinking it's the editing.

527
00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:22,720
Speaker 2: I was like, Okay, there's no way they didn't.

528
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:23,160
Speaker 4: You know what I mean.

529
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:25,800
Speaker 6: But then I'm like, well, no, no, you know, not

530
00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:27,919
Speaker 6: even close, like actually not even close.

531
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:31,159
Speaker 1: So and that's the thing that's like really frustrating, and

532
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:33,680
Speaker 1: it's kind of something that I guess I'm learning how

533
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:37,879
Speaker 1: to navigate, like being there's there's the TV side of

534
00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:41,560
Speaker 1: things and then there's the actual like truth. And with

535
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:44,240
Speaker 1: me and JR, like you know, we did have a

536
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:47,440
Speaker 1: really flirty banter. We were having fun through the process,

537
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:51,360
Speaker 1: Like we that's why we kind of clicked because we're like, Okay.

538
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:52,320
Speaker 2: Let's have some fun.

539
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:55,919
Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be so like somber and you know,

540
00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:59,240
Speaker 1: but we did have a lot of really really in depth,

541
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:02,679
Speaker 1: serious converse stations like that was like ninety five percent

542
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:07,000
Speaker 1: of our dynamic. And but we we were flirty and

543
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:10,479
Speaker 1: and you know, touchy feely and whatever, but it was

544
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:16,480
Speaker 1: never like really sexual in terms of our physical dynamic.

545
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:17,119
Speaker 3: You know.

546
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:20,240
Speaker 1: I think it was like we would talk about stuff,

547
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:22,280
Speaker 1: and it was like we were joking about a lot

548
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:26,800
Speaker 1: of certain things. But yeah, it just was never actually

549
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:29,480
Speaker 1: like really sexual between him and I. And so it

550
00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:31,720
Speaker 1: is something that's that's weird for me to see because

551
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:35,919
Speaker 1: it was it was so sexualized on TV, you know,

552
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 1: and people are obviously making assumptions and they have their opinions, and.

553
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:40,280
Speaker 2: I get it.

554
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:42,200
Speaker 1: It's like that's what you know, you kind of put

555
00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:46,320
Speaker 1: yourself in going on on TV. But yeah, you know,

556
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:48,680
Speaker 1: it does feel a little bit like exhausting trying to

557
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:53,200
Speaker 1: like explain what actually happened to people because it's like

558
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:54,719
Speaker 1: people are just gonna have their opinions.

559
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:58,200
Speaker 4: What do you do with with the comments? I mean,

560
00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:00,760
Speaker 4: how how have they how have they been post show?

561
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 4: And then you know what because this is I is

562
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:07,080
Speaker 4: this the first time you've been on a like reality show?

563
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:07,360
Speaker 5: Yeah?

564
00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:11,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, So it's like how how has the comments good

565
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:12,760
Speaker 4: or bad affected you?

566
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:15,600
Speaker 1: You know, I'm not one to like really get but

567
00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 1: her about certain comments like trolls and stuff because I'm

568
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:22,160
Speaker 1: just like, it doesn't really, it doesn't really affect me.

569
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:23,959
Speaker 1: I know what happened, I know the truth. I know

570
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:27,600
Speaker 1: who I am. I'm very like confident within myself and

571
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:29,880
Speaker 1: anybody that knows me knows who I am.

572
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:32,440
Speaker 2: They know my heart, they know my soul. Like I

573
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:35,680
Speaker 2: am obviously way more than what you know what we're

574
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:37,320
Speaker 2: just seeing on TV. And I get it. It's a

575
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:39,440
Speaker 2: TV show, like they it needs.

576
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:42,840
Speaker 1: To be entertaining, So I would say, most of the

577
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:45,520
Speaker 1: comments don't bother me. I think it's just it is

578
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:49,480
Speaker 1: just an interesting It's a new thing for me, right, Like,

579
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:53,240
Speaker 1: I've never had so many people having judgments, especially into

580
00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:57,000
Speaker 1: my relationship. I think that's the part that is frustrating,

581
00:29:57,040 --> 00:30:02,479
Speaker 1: because there's so much that people don't know that I

582
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:06,000
Speaker 1: have really kind of kept quiet on.

583
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:11,600
Speaker 2: And it's like, you know, it looks just like I

584
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:12,440
Speaker 2: don't give a fuck.

585
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:16,520
Speaker 1: You know, it looks like I'm super like insensitive, and

586
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:19,920
Speaker 1: it's quite literally the opposite. I've just been like beyond

587
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:22,760
Speaker 1: exhausted with how much I've put into it.

588
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:27,040
Speaker 2: But I will say like I've.

589
00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:29,320
Speaker 1: Gotten a lot of love and a lot of positivity,

590
00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:31,000
Speaker 1: and it is really cool to see a lot of

591
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:33,440
Speaker 1: women like just relating to me and reaching out to

592
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:37,440
Speaker 1: me and really seeing like themselves in my relationship and

593
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:41,000
Speaker 1: my story. And I think especially now that everything's out,

594
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:44,960
Speaker 1: the reunions out, even after like the last podcast.

595
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:46,800
Speaker 4: I did, because you did a pod you did Nick

596
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:47,440
Speaker 4: with Nick.

597
00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:52,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, so we did the Biophiles together, So that was

598
00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:54,479
Speaker 1: kind of the last thing that that's come out, and

599
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:59,520
Speaker 1: so you know, we we got into a little bit

600
00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:02,240
Speaker 1: of kind of what was going on and the reality

601
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:02,800
Speaker 1: of things.

602
00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:05,760
Speaker 2: But I definitely would say like.

603
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:10,520
Speaker 1: Just the overall vibe has kind of lightened and shifted

604
00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:12,400
Speaker 1: since now it's like more of the truth is coming

605
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:15,040
Speaker 1: out and people can understand just more.

606
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:17,240
Speaker 2: They just have more context to like what was going on.

607
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:20,800
Speaker 4: Is it hard because now because on the reunion Nick

608
00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:24,240
Speaker 4: said that he's in a relationship now, So I mean, obviously,

609
00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:27,520
Speaker 4: you know, you always always have love for that person,

610
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 4: But I mean, is it has it been hard for

611
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:32,960
Speaker 4: you or you you know, have you started dating someone

612
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:34,840
Speaker 4: or so.

613
00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:37,160
Speaker 1: It's not hard for me that Nick is in a relationship.

614
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:41,760
Speaker 1: I actually would prefer him to be in a relationship

615
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:44,479
Speaker 1: because I think even through the last year of us

616
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:48,040
Speaker 1: being broken up, like he has still leaned on me

617
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:51,640
Speaker 1: as if i'm you know, his partner. And it's difficult

618
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:55,720
Speaker 1: because I never want to deny somebody like love and support,

619
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:58,320
Speaker 1: especially when I do care about them and love them.

620
00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:01,880
Speaker 1: But again, it's like really trying to respect my own boundaries.

621
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:05,600
Speaker 1: And so I'm actually very happy that he's in a

622
00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:11,480
Speaker 1: relationship and I'm not in a relationship. I haven't actually

623
00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:16,080
Speaker 1: really been dating that much, Like I think this whole

624
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:19,520
Speaker 1: process has just been a lot, and especially just my

625
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:25,280
Speaker 1: ties to Nick and like really trying to separate everything.

626
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:28,480
Speaker 1: And I think now that the show was completely done

627
00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 1: and it's like, you know, the ties can fully be cut.

628
00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:37,040
Speaker 2: But yeah, no, I haven't really been dating.

629
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 4: I'll actually remember what we were watching it. I was

630
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:42,120
Speaker 4: like sand it's just like she'd be like the girls girl,

631
00:32:42,120 --> 00:32:43,680
Speaker 4: Like I want her in the girl group because I'm like,

632
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:47,000
Speaker 4: you just know that, like she'd have your back. Yeah,

633
00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:48,640
Speaker 4: that's the thing, Like I can tell you know what

634
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:50,360
Speaker 4: I mean, I love it. You always need that friend.

635
00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:52,960
Speaker 4: Or just like we were like there's a body bag

636
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,680
Speaker 4: that's needing help, you know, build, like she's gonna help

637
00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:58,160
Speaker 4: carry it, you know, Like I like her.

638
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:01,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I I really am like I'll do anything

639
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:02,880
Speaker 1: for my girlfriends.

640
00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:04,560
Speaker 2: I will go to bad for them.

641
00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 1: It's funny because it's like I can take a lot

642
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:10,800
Speaker 1: of heat myself, but if someone says something about my family,

643
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:14,120
Speaker 1: my sister, my friends, like that's when I know I'll

644
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:14,520
Speaker 1: lose it.

645
00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:17,120
Speaker 4: What is the biggest thing you've learned about yourself doing

646
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:17,480
Speaker 4: the show?

647
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:19,600
Speaker 2: Oh, gosh, I mean a lot.

648
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:24,480
Speaker 1: It's definitely interesting having you know, literally a mirror of

649
00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:28,680
Speaker 1: yourself in a way like on TV. And it's definitely

650
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:30,880
Speaker 1: like allowed me to really look at certain things that

651
00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:32,520
Speaker 1: maybe I wouldn't see.

652
00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:35,440
Speaker 2: You know. I do think that.

653
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:40,240
Speaker 1: I think for me, like kind of leading with my

654
00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:45,120
Speaker 1: vulnerability or my emotions is not something that is like

655
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:46,720
Speaker 1: it's not my first instinct, you know.

656
00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:48,720
Speaker 2: I do kind of like keep.

657
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:52,480
Speaker 1: This harder shell up and I really try and keep

658
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:53,280
Speaker 1: it all together.

659
00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:56,800
Speaker 2: And it's actually interesting.

660
00:33:56,440 --> 00:33:58,360
Speaker 1: Watching it because I'm like, wow, Like I could see

661
00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:02,560
Speaker 1: in moments where I I was literally crumbling and hurting

662
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:04,480
Speaker 1: so much and I was trying so hard to like

663
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:07,480
Speaker 1: keep a straight face, keep it together, hold back tears,

664
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:10,759
Speaker 1: and I just was like, I really think that it

665
00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:13,759
Speaker 1: would have actually been a lot better had I just

666
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:16,880
Speaker 1: been really like vulnerable and real about like how I

667
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:17,320
Speaker 1: was feeling.

668
00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:18,799
Speaker 2: And I kind of allowed myself to do that the

669
00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:22,279
Speaker 2: second half of it. But yeah, I think just like.

670
00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:28,160
Speaker 1: You know, knowing that it's okay to like actually be

671
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:30,480
Speaker 1: vulnerable lead with my heart and I don't have to

672
00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:34,440
Speaker 1: always like keep it together and make sure that it's

673
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:37,680
Speaker 1: you know, make sure everyone else is comfortable, and then

674
00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:40,440
Speaker 1: in return, I'm making myself uncomfortable. I think that was

675
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:43,800
Speaker 1: something that I was really trying to do throughout the process,

676
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:48,799
Speaker 1: especially with JR. Like, you know, living with living with

677
00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:52,600
Speaker 1: somebody for three weeks, it's a super long time.

678
00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:54,439
Speaker 2: It is way too long.

679
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:56,799
Speaker 4: Yeah, like one or like one and a half week,

680
00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:58,480
Speaker 4: it's like three weeks. I'm like, that has a really

681
00:34:58,520 --> 00:34:59,040
Speaker 4: long time.

682
00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:05,040
Speaker 1: It was way too long, and it's an extremely uncomfortable situation.

683
00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:08,480
Speaker 1: And then on top of it, there's cameras around everywhere,

684
00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:11,200
Speaker 1: you're micd up, and I think for me, something that

685
00:35:11,239 --> 00:35:13,480
Speaker 1: I do, I just always want to like make sure

686
00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:17,640
Speaker 1: that you know, it's like a comfortable environment, you know.

687
00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:20,840
Speaker 1: And so I think there were certain things.

688
00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:22,239
Speaker 2: That maybe I didn't really.

689
00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:26,680
Speaker 1: Say or stand up to that actually made me uncomfortable

690
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:30,600
Speaker 1: or you know that I wasn't really okay with because

691
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:31,320
Speaker 1: I wanted.

692
00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:31,800
Speaker 2: To keep the peace.

693
00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:34,960
Speaker 1: I didn't want to get in any like arguments or anything,

694
00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:37,120
Speaker 1: you know, because it's like I wanted to protect my

695
00:35:37,239 --> 00:35:38,080
Speaker 1: living situation.

696
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:40,120
Speaker 2: I was. We had to do it for three weeks.

697
00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:43,759
Speaker 1: So I think, just like something I've also realized is,

698
00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:47,279
Speaker 1: you know, it doesn't always have to be like the

699
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:51,880
Speaker 1: most comfortable environment if it's not true to myself and

700
00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:57,040
Speaker 1: just being like I don't know, just just honoring myself

701
00:35:57,160 --> 00:36:00,920
Speaker 1: enough to actually like say what I'm feeling in those moments,

702
00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:04,640
Speaker 1: even if it makes the other person uncomfortable or upset.

703
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:04,799
Speaker 2: A little bit.

704
00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:08,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, we were just talking about that, Yeah, honoring yourself.

705
00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:10,560
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah.

706
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:12,400
Speaker 3: Is there anyone on the show and you don't need

707
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:16,040
Speaker 3: sounds to this that you really grew with thisslike over

708
00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:18,600
Speaker 3: the weeks of the periods, Alan.

709
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:21,040
Speaker 2: That's a funny question.

710
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:25,440
Speaker 1: No, we didn't really get to interact with the other castmates,

711
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:29,440
Speaker 1: so it was really we were very secluded with our

712
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:32,359
Speaker 1: trial marriage and then with you know, then you go

713
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:34,960
Speaker 1: back with when I went back with Nick, so we

714
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:36,840
Speaker 1: didn't really even get to know the other castmates. I

715
00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:39,960
Speaker 1: think it's a unique thing other shows. Everyone's really close,

716
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:43,320
Speaker 1: So I didn't really start talking to the castmates until

717
00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:44,759
Speaker 1: honestly after the reunion.

718
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:47,080
Speaker 3: There was one guy in the show that I thought

719
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:49,200
Speaker 3: he was really calculated and nasty.

720
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:54,400
Speaker 2: Teking about Scotti. Yeah, I know, I it sucks. I

721
00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:55,560
Speaker 2: think Scotty is.

722
00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:59,719
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know him in a relationship setting, obviously,

723
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:03,120
Speaker 1: and I think people can be different in relationships.

724
00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:06,160
Speaker 2: But he's such a nice guy. He really truly is.

725
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:09,080
Speaker 1: And I feel bad because it's like I think, just

726
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:13,720
Speaker 1: you know, kind of his worst moments are only shown,

727
00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:18,359
Speaker 1: but he Yeah, he's he's a really really sweet guy.

728
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:20,600
Speaker 2: But I do think that like there was a lot of.

729
00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:23,480
Speaker 1: Issues in the relationship and maybe just things for him

730
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:26,600
Speaker 1: to look at within himself. That again, like you don't

731
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 1: really know until you're actually seeing it on TV and

732
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:31,680
Speaker 1: you're like, whoa, OK. It just gives you a different perspective.

733
00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:35,520
Speaker 1: But yeah, I know, Scott, He's he's really nice.

734
00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:36,000
Speaker 2: I swear.

735
00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:38,080
Speaker 4: I feel like there was a few anger pieces that

736
00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:39,400
Speaker 4: came out that I was a little a.

737
00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:42,359
Speaker 3: Little and that's my judgment based off the air, Yeah,

738
00:37:42,440 --> 00:37:45,440
Speaker 3: and not personally him, but he just came across as

739
00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:47,880
Speaker 3: really like he could snaff it anything.

740
00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:51,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's good to again, there's always

741
00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:54,640
Speaker 4: two sides editing. That's why I think that's why we

742
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:57,239
Speaker 4: watched these shows. And it's like we're all human and

743
00:37:57,400 --> 00:37:59,080
Speaker 4: you know, it's like if we had a camera in

744
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:02,720
Speaker 4: our face, you know, gosh.

745
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:04,759
Speaker 1: I think it's something in a note with that, and

746
00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:10,000
Speaker 1: it's like people don't maybe understand. But so the show

747
00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:13,920
Speaker 1: is we film for two months, two full months of

748
00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:16,879
Speaker 1: filming every single day, like maybe ten hours a day,

749
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:22,600
Speaker 1: and you know, it's condensed into nine episodes because of

750
00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:26,759
Speaker 1: the reunion is you know, the tenth episode, and so

751
00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:30,600
Speaker 1: it's like nine hours and then split between twelve people.

752
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:33,640
Speaker 1: So obviously, I mean that's just how TV works. Of course,

753
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:35,719
Speaker 1: you can only show certain.

754
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:36,640
Speaker 2: Bits and pieces, but like.

755
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:41,839
Speaker 1: Most of everything is not shown, which I think it was.

756
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:44,799
Speaker 1: That was probably one of the weirdest things watching it back,

757
00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:48,359
Speaker 1: just knowing everything that we went through, everything that we

758
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:52,880
Speaker 1: were talking about, and then just seeing it so like

759
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:56,040
Speaker 1: you're like, oh wow, okay, there's like they show one sentence,

760
00:38:56,719 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 1: so you know, and they could be showing only the

761
00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:02,320
Speaker 1: bad things or only the good things. It just depends

762
00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:07,080
Speaker 1: kind of on what I guess the storyline is, but yeah,

763
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:09,480
Speaker 1: it's that was a really interesting thing because I was like,

764
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:11,920
Speaker 1: do we need to do this for two months?

765
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:13,120
Speaker 2: You guys, like really?

766
00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:15,520
Speaker 1: Because it was it was a lot okay, And I'm like,

767
00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:18,000
Speaker 1: we've done this whole thing in three weeks.

768
00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:20,120
Speaker 4: That is a long I just.

769
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:22,359
Speaker 3: Love how they only let you see the whole thing

770
00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:23,840
Speaker 3: the night before the reunion.

771
00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:26,120
Speaker 2: Yeah.

772
00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:28,399
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's why I never want to do reality. Every

773
00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:31,000
Speaker 4: time we ever get approached, I'm always like I would

774
00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:33,480
Speaker 4: have to be a producer so that I can edit

775
00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:36,319
Speaker 4: the crap process because if not, they're going to edit

776
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:37,840
Speaker 4: you how they want you to be perceived.

777
00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:39,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. I know.

778
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:43,640
Speaker 1: It was really weird watching it back the night before

779
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:45,799
Speaker 1: the reunion and then you just go right and stay union.

780
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:47,920
Speaker 2: You don't even have time to process what you just watch,

781
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:49,000
Speaker 2: Like you really don't.

782
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:53,960
Speaker 1: It took me like a full week to really process everything.

783
00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 2: And then I was like, oh.

784
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:57,840
Speaker 1: Okay, wow, So I think that's why, like at the

785
00:39:57,880 --> 00:39:59,240
Speaker 1: reunion people are like why.

786
00:39:59,080 --> 00:40:00,800
Speaker 2: Aren't they addressing are in things?

787
00:40:01,239 --> 00:40:04,040
Speaker 1: It's like you don't even know what you just watched,

788
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:06,759
Speaker 1: you know, And then it's like then you get time

789
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:08,520
Speaker 1: to actually process it and watch and then you're like,

790
00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:11,160
Speaker 1: oh wow, Okay, this is actually something that maybe I

791
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:12,239
Speaker 1: should have addressed or what.

792
00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:15,120
Speaker 2: You know. It's like it's just such an interesting experience.

793
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:18,640
Speaker 4: Okay, well what is next for Sandy? What is what

794
00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:19,280
Speaker 4: are you doing?

795
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:24,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I'm actually launching a bikini line, a s

796
00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:25,680
Speaker 1: one more line.

797
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:30,759
Speaker 2: This year, so I'm super excited. I've been working for

798
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:32,239
Speaker 2: a while Sandy Gal.

799
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:33,239
Speaker 3: Yep.

800
00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:38,120
Speaker 1: So yeah, my name is Sandy Gallagher and I've always

801
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:40,160
Speaker 1: kind of like, you know, Sandy Gal has always been

802
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:44,120
Speaker 1: like my Instagram name whatever, but it just makes sense.

803
00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:47,200
Speaker 1: I'm you know, I grew up in southern California. I'm

804
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:48,320
Speaker 1: always in a bikini.

805
00:40:48,719 --> 00:40:49,560
Speaker 2: Can you do high.

806
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:50,960
Speaker 4: Wasted for a mama? A three?

807
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:57,880
Speaker 2: Yes, of course, you don't even need high waisted talking

808
00:40:57,920 --> 00:41:01,480
Speaker 2: about we love the high wasted look, but like, no,

809
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:02,479
Speaker 2: your body is rocking.

810
00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:08,400
Speaker 1: But it's kind of a you know, my the concept

811
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:10,640
Speaker 1: in the vision. I don't want to like say too much,

812
00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:16,120
Speaker 1: but it's kind of a a balance I guess of

813
00:41:16,719 --> 00:41:19,000
Speaker 1: you know, being really sexy and confident in.

814
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:19,520
Speaker 2: Your own body.

815
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:22,760
Speaker 1: I'm very much about like women empowerment and just being

816
00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:27,520
Speaker 1: confident and also into kind of the spiritual realm of

817
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:34,200
Speaker 1: you know, I'm really into crystals and manifestation and just

818
00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:37,600
Speaker 1: really channeling like your inner goddess.

819
00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:41,440
Speaker 2: So that but that's kind of yeah.

820
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:44,440
Speaker 4: Okay, Sandy gal Oh, I'm excited. Got some new bikinis

821
00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:44,920
Speaker 4: for summer.

822
00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:46,560
Speaker 2: Here we go, Yes.

823
00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:52,000
Speaker 4: With love, Well, thank you for coming on, Appreciate you

824
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:57,440
Speaker 4: and yeah, always nice to hear, you know from the

825
00:41:57,560 --> 00:41:59,960
Speaker 4: source itself. That's what I know.

826
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:04,040
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm glad you guys watched it and enjoyed, I hope.

827
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:07,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, But it's also people's lives. It's not it's not

828
00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:11,200
Speaker 4: you know, scripted. This is you know, people's real lives.

829
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:13,120
Speaker 4: And I think people need to remember that things are

830
00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:16,879
Speaker 4: edited and if and remember how we would be if

831
00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:19,480
Speaker 4: we had a camera every single day for two months,

832
00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:21,200
Speaker 4: how our life would be edited down. So it's a

833
00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:23,279
Speaker 4: good thing to think about for the new year, you know,

834
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:25,160
Speaker 4: like who do you want to be in the you know,

835
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:29,160
Speaker 4: in your in your reality show if all your pieces

836
00:42:29,160 --> 00:42:31,720
Speaker 4: were cut down to you know, right episodes.

837
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:36,680
Speaker 2: So it's very true, it's very true. Definitely been you know,

838
00:42:36,719 --> 00:42:37,640
Speaker 2: an interesting mirror.

839
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:40,360
Speaker 1: But actually, like I am really grateful for it because

840
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:43,759
Speaker 1: it's there's been a lot of lessons through it.

841
00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:45,239
Speaker 2: A lot of lessons, a lot of.

842
00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:51,719
Speaker 1: Blessings, and personally for me, like I'm just always genuinely

843
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:55,360
Speaker 1: trying to like better myself as a human and so

844
00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:57,560
Speaker 1: there have been things that have been good for me

845
00:42:57,600 --> 00:43:00,200
Speaker 1: to see and it's like, okay, cool, moving forward. I know,

846
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:03,480
Speaker 1: you know, I need to do certain things or not

847
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:07,480
Speaker 1: do certain things. So that's been nice, and yeah, you know,

848
00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:09,000
Speaker 1: I'm just grateful for the experience.

849
00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:09,480
Speaker 2: Overall.

850
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:12,840
Speaker 1: It's definitely hasn't been easy, but that's how you know,

851
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:16,120
Speaker 1: that's how we grow and we evolve, so exactly.

852
00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:20,160
Speaker 4: Well, thank you Sandy, great connecting and look forward to

853
00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:20,759
Speaker 4: Sandy Gal.

854
00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:23,120
Speaker 2: Thank you, nice to meet you guys.

855
00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:26,920
Speaker 4: Happy New Year YouTube, Bye bye bye