Speaker 1: Hey, it's Brook and Jeffrey in this is the Second
Speaker 1: Date podcast. And I don't know if the best part
Speaker 1: of Textual Healing is the actual help or just the
Speaker 1: intro song.
Speaker 2: It's so good. It's my favorite show open that we
Speaker 2: have love it. So it is just singing just so
Speaker 2: you know. Gots coming up in just a minute.
Speaker 3: But first comment, Yeah, Amanda Nichols said, I'm a full
Speaker 3: time college student majoring in computer science. I never thought
Speaker 3: I would find myself getting addicted to a random morning
Speaker 3: radio show the way I have.
Speaker 2: With this one.
Speaker 3: I've definitely developed a parasocial relationship with these guys and
Speaker 3: never failed to brighten up my morning commute to class.
Speaker 2: So happy I found this show. And I love when
Speaker 2: our listeners use big words we don't unders. I know
Speaker 2: it's gonna have to google that, lad.
Speaker 1: I love our paranormal relationship parasouck.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's just get into it. The textual Healing starts now.
Speaker 4: I don't know about you guys, but I've never been
Speaker 4: caught doing weird stuff at work, you people. I mean,
Speaker 4: I definitely do it, and whoever sees it usually wants
Speaker 4: to join in, So technically I'm not he costs.
Speaker 2: I mean, you're just not told on right.
Speaker 4: I see. For one of our listeners, she says she
Speaker 4: was coming home to her apartment the other day and
Speaker 4: came across her landlord in a very compromising position, and
Speaker 4: what she decided to do next could be either the
Speaker 4: smartest or dumbest move of her entire life. Oday, she
Speaker 4: reached out to us, hoping to use the information to
Speaker 4: her advantage. So we're gonna try and help her in
Speaker 4: a textual healing coming up next, Text you will heal,
Speaker 4: then text you will. You know you have a clogged toilet,
Speaker 4: you call a plumber. Do you have a flat tire,
Speaker 4: you call triple A. Sure, If you have a text
Speaker 4: message that you need to send and you don't want
Speaker 4: to screw it up, who do you call?
Speaker 2: Jeffrey?
Speaker 4: You call fifteen other people and ask their answers. Well,
Speaker 4: if they all suck, then you can come to us
Speaker 4: for a little textual healing.
Speaker 2: We got there, and.
Speaker 4: One of our listeners has gone through her entire friend
Speaker 4: group came up with nothing, So now she wants our help.
Speaker 4: Her name is CALLI CALLI Welcome to the show.
Speaker 5: Hi, thank you so much, please help.
Speaker 1: I'm glad we're your last resort, Kelly, glad your real.
Speaker 4: Friends don't answer. Ye, Well, tell us about your situation
Speaker 4: a little bit and how we can help heal you textually.
Speaker 5: Okay.
Speaker 6: So I'm living in this apartment. It's the best apartment
Speaker 6: that I've ever lived in. It's like a great location.
Speaker 6: You know, I have like the most amazing view. Apartment
Speaker 6: complex has a pool.
Speaker 4: Do they have any availability right now? Doesn't sound like
Speaker 4: we can afford.
Speaker 6: To live there, That's the thing. So I can't even
Speaker 6: afford to live here, like barely right now. And I'm
Speaker 6: afraid they're going to increase my rent in a couple
Speaker 6: of months when my rent is supposed to be renewed.
Speaker 2: Are we going to negotiate your rent via text message?
Speaker 1: I think we can do it. I think we could.
Speaker 1: I can talk anybody down.
Speaker 4: I'm telling you your lease is coming up here? How long?
Speaker 5: Yeah, in a couple of months about about okay?
Speaker 6: Okay, but Loki, I need them to reduce the rent
Speaker 6: by at least one hundred dollars where I'm going to
Speaker 6: have to move.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, we're going to get a rent reduction? Does
Speaker 2: that happen anymore?
Speaker 1: It does?
Speaker 2: I'm gonna call exactly what.
Speaker 4: We do today? Okay, how are you going to get
Speaker 4: your rent knocked down?
Speaker 6: The only thought that I have in terms of how
Speaker 6: I can do this, and I really think I can,
Speaker 6: is the fact that we have a new property manager. Okay,
Speaker 6: super cute, and he's about my age. I just have
Speaker 6: a feeling like if I work them a little bit,
Speaker 6: massage them a little bit via text message.
Speaker 1: Okay, are you saying you're gonna start hitting on your
Speaker 1: new property manager?
Speaker 6: I like it. I don't want to hit on him,
Speaker 6: but I have a feeling that, like, uh, you know,
Speaker 6: I want to.
Speaker 2: Put a viet you want to create a rapport?
Speaker 6: Exactly, I need to create a rapport. I need to
Speaker 6: like get in there and just figure out a way
Speaker 6: to get Dave the property manager, to sign off on
Speaker 6: a ret renewal that is preferably less.
Speaker 1: I was joking about negotiating rent prices. I don't actually
Speaker 1: know that we're the best people for that.
Speaker 5: I think I think it's possible.
Speaker 2: Have you texted with Dave yet? Like, have you met
Speaker 2: him at all?
Speaker 5: We've had one interaction.
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, that's something to work with.
Speaker 6: Yeah, he's stooping a rat, a dead rat out of
Speaker 6: the pool.
Speaker 4: Yeah, long new place, but it's actually run down.
Speaker 2: The pool like an above ground like tarp that they
Speaker 2: set up.
Speaker 4: It's just in the city. I'm guessing a rat.
Speaker 6: In the pool, I know. And I saw what he
Speaker 6: was doing and just like was like ew and then
Speaker 6: he kind of like laughed like yeah, you know, my
Speaker 6: job sucks, but Hi, how you doing?
Speaker 4: What a fun interaction.
Speaker 1: But that could almost be blackmail, right because she's the
Speaker 1: only one that saw the rat, and if she told
Speaker 1: other people. I mean, if we're gonna get dirty with
Speaker 1: this guy and we want to like get a rent reduction.
Speaker 4: I don't know if blackmailing your apartment manager is the
Speaker 4: best way to go.
Speaker 2: Okay, I like what.
Speaker 5: I agree?
Speaker 6: I think we could have like a friendly agreement to
Speaker 6: like keep that between us, you know, Like the other
Speaker 6: option is obviously, like should I flirt with them?
Speaker 5: Should I throw them a smile?
Speaker 4: Well, we have to do this over a text message? Yes,
Speaker 4: So I'm going to google tricks to make strangers do
Speaker 4: stuff for you?
Speaker 2: Okay, I fell over.
Speaker 3: Text is the hard part.
Speaker 2: AI is really going to take over our jobs.
Speaker 4: This is a twenty one and over website. This isn't
Speaker 4: seven ways to make a stranger help you out. Number
Speaker 4: one says smile.
Speaker 2: Can't do that on the text.
Speaker 4: You could get a smile emoji, so we could start
Speaker 4: with a smiley emoji. Number two is used their name
Speaker 4: a few times, Dave, Dave, Dave. So yeah, Dave, Hey Dave,
Speaker 4: what's up Dave?
Speaker 1: Well, I mean you have to start with hey, Dave,
Speaker 1: Kelly from you know, whatever your apartment number is.
Speaker 4: Remember I'm I'm the the girl that saw you fish
Speaker 4: the rat out of the pool and shouted gross.
Speaker 6: Maybe just be like, I think it's actually perfect.
Speaker 4: Right at least they put It'll help him put a
Speaker 4: face to the name.
Speaker 6: I could be like, I'm the blonde who said ew
Speaker 6: while you were fishing the rat out of the pool.
Speaker 3: There are other people with other hair combs.
Speaker 4: Well, she said gross to him and they had one
Speaker 4: sentence conversation, So that's good. Number three says used humor. Yeah,
Speaker 4: maybe maybe telling a joke, It says, even if it
Speaker 4: doesn't land, it shows you're trying to be fun, and
Speaker 4: I'd hire you.
Speaker 2: To be my combanda boy any day of the week.
Speaker 1: You know, we have a pool for rats.
Speaker 4: That's how fancy it is.
Speaker 1: Maybe a rat of tuy Joe could be funny like that.
Speaker 2: Don't you have to do the little rat emoji?
Speaker 1: Though?
Speaker 4: So here's my idea to incorporate everything that we've learned here. Hey, Dave, Dave,
Speaker 4: I'm that blonde girl who said gross when you pulled
Speaker 4: the rat out of the pool. And later, maybe you
Speaker 4: can come by and we can have some ratituey. What
Speaker 4: do you think, Dave, smiley face? That sounds wow, fatty,
Speaker 4: but it's going off of the internet suggestions here. The
Speaker 4: internet is small than any of us.
Speaker 2: Sound like a computer.
Speaker 5: Sure?
Speaker 1: What if the joke is I haven't been able to
Speaker 1: cook anything all week because that rat was the one
Speaker 1: teaching me.
Speaker 4: No, they said there was no bad jokes, but I
Speaker 4: think we just proved them. I don't know, cal. I mean,
Speaker 4: the final decision is yours. It's your text message, so
Speaker 4: you get to decide what you want to write.
Speaker 6: I mean, I definitely feel like something along the lines
Speaker 6: like heydays nice. It's Callie from apartment the blonde two
Speaker 6: said gross when you fish the rat at the pool.
Speaker 2: Just wanted to welcome you to the building.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, I wanted to welcome you to the building.
Speaker 6: Ratitude at my place, and she sounds.
Speaker 4: Pretty solid rat emoji.
Speaker 7: Yeah oh yeah, okay said, I mean, we started off
Speaker 7: on kind of rocky ground there, but I feel like
Speaker 7: we ended up with a pretty solid text.
Speaker 4: I mean, at least I'm sure we're going to get
Speaker 4: a response. He may be like, what are you on? Like, yeah,
Speaker 4: you might be victim.
Speaker 2: Maybe he'll be like, I want some of whatever you're on.
Speaker 4: You don't respond, that's for sure, let's find out. We're
Speaker 4: going to continue and see if Dave the apartment manager
Speaker 4: is going to lower your rent when we do textual.
Speaker 5: Healing thank you.
Speaker 4: Right after this, one of our listeners, Calli, is on
Speaker 4: the phone right now. She loves her apartment, but her
Speaker 4: lease is coming up, and if she wants to stay,
Speaker 4: which she desperately does, she's gonna need to get a
Speaker 4: rent reduction or she won't be able to afford it anymore. Now,
Speaker 4: a younger single guy has apparently taken over managing her building.
Speaker 4: His name is Dave, and he is cute from what
Speaker 4: we hear.
Speaker 1: That's what she says, because they're only interaction in person
Speaker 1: has been while she was watching him take a drowned
Speaker 1: rat out of their pool with a net.
Speaker 4: And she screamed ew gross. Yeah, and he acknowledged it
Speaker 4: and was like, yeah, my job is terrible. So essentially
Speaker 4: he's basically a stranger to her at this point. That's
Speaker 4: why I googled the top seven ways to make a
Speaker 4: stranger like you and want to help you instantly, which
Speaker 4: I feel like has already been on your Google search history. Yeah,
Speaker 4: it did auto fill the rest of it. So her
Speaker 4: first text incorporated three points that I came across. It said, One,
Speaker 4: you should smile, so we used smile emoji. Two, use
Speaker 4: their name a few times. So we repeated Dave at
Speaker 4: least three times in.
Speaker 2: The first text, went once but okay.
Speaker 4: Well maybe that was our mistake. Number Three, break the
Speaker 4: ice with some levity or a joke. So we referenced
Speaker 4: the dead rat that we could do something with ratituey
Speaker 4: as a meal over at her apartment, Kelly has He responded,
Speaker 4: he did, why.
Speaker 2: You sound sad? What did he say?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 6: No, okay, he said, what So you're the tenant who
Speaker 6: saw me pull the rat out of the pool. You're
Speaker 6: joking about the ratituy right?
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, this is good though.
Speaker 1: This is good because he's nervous he's nervous. He's nervous,
Speaker 1: you're gonna rat him out.
Speaker 3: Okay, we are next.
Speaker 4: Seventy listeners just tuned away.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I need I need some real advice.
Speaker 5: Guys, that was real.
Speaker 4: Let's do the damsel in distress angle where it says, Hey, Dave,
Speaker 4: I'm in a situation and I could really use your help.
Speaker 2: So we're saying, hey Dave again.
Speaker 4: I'm sticking with the suggestions. You need to continue using
Speaker 4: his name need from.
Speaker 2: The pool of life.
Speaker 1: First you say, yes, it was a joke, that's a
Speaker 1: fair and then you move into I need your help
Speaker 1: with something.
Speaker 4: I like that. Coli, I'm like a financial rat drowning
Speaker 4: in that.
Speaker 2: But you laugh at him.
Speaker 4: That was funny.
Speaker 7: Okay, I expect them from men, expect them.
Speaker 4: Just tell him like, I seriously need a way to
Speaker 4: figure out how to lower my rent by one hundred
Speaker 4: dollars right now.
Speaker 2: Let's wait till the next text for that slow Jeffrey.
Speaker 4: Ask for the example if you pointed out my roles,
Speaker 4: that's really offensive.
Speaker 6: Okay, I got it, I got it.
Speaker 5: So Hey Dave, yes, ratitude, he was a joke. I'm
Speaker 5: actually in.
Speaker 6: A situation I could use your help. My release is
Speaker 6: coming up, and I need to find a way to
Speaker 6: reduce it by at least one hundred dollars.
Speaker 5: Any idea, I.
Speaker 1: Just went from like to like very I know it's direct, rat,
Speaker 1: but you want an answer, so go for it.
Speaker 2: And it's business relationship right now.
Speaker 4: And from his last is clear he remembers you.
Speaker 6: So okay, I send It's okay, I.
Speaker 4: Said, did you put a smiley emoji on it?
Speaker 5: Though I did not?
Speaker 6: Okay, okay, I just that one that went out.
Speaker 5: Follow up, it's going.
Speaker 2: To be like a big smiling I mean, that's interesting.
Speaker 2: We're just we're just oh my.
Speaker 5: God, oh my god.
Speaker 6: He's just finding he's an I mean that.
Speaker 5: Hold on.
Speaker 2: That, stuy. I'm sorry, it's something they started doing long.
Speaker 4: Don't apologize for fun. Yes, forgot? What did he what
Speaker 4: did he write?
Speaker 6: He wrote, Well, you could get a roommate that would
Speaker 6: reduce it by a lot more than one hundred dollars.
Speaker 6: We could see if we can move you into a
Speaker 6: smaller unit facing the back alley.
Speaker 4: Now look at the rats.
Speaker 1: What if you write back and say, Dave, I don't
Speaker 1: think a view of the of more rats is in
Speaker 1: my wheelhouse.
Speaker 4: Yes, that's funny. Let's let's go with that.
Speaker 2: It's what Jose said. I just reset it. Yeah, seriously, when.
Speaker 6: I wait, I'm going to make it sound like he
Speaker 6: made a joke, like, haha, Dave, I don't need a
Speaker 6: view of more.
Speaker 7: Rats like they feel funny. I love it, but we
Speaker 7: need to ask a question to keep him responding. So
Speaker 7: let's add something to it, like is there any way
Speaker 7: I could stay in my same apartment and pay less?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 6: Okay, okay, I mean, honestly, what about this?
Speaker 1: What if you volunteer to be on rat patrol at
Speaker 1: the pool and they could pay you one hundred dollars?
Speaker 2: Want to do it?
Speaker 7: You know?
Speaker 1: Odd?
Speaker 5: I don't like. Yeah, gross, that's a lot.
Speaker 2: Everybody wants the money without working for it.
Speaker 4: I see you said, Hey, I'm willing to sign a
Speaker 4: three to maybe four year lease if this will help me.
Speaker 4: Screw that one hundred year lease. I want to die
Speaker 4: in this building like that, sping me out. I think rat.
Speaker 2: Patrol is much better than this.
Speaker 4: Somewhere you go, this is anybody else?
Speaker 6: He said, I don't think there's any way you can
Speaker 6: stay here and pay less unless you want to help
Speaker 6: me get rid of the rat right, what is inside
Speaker 6: joke turn into me becoming like the rat patrol.
Speaker 5: I can't, I can't.
Speaker 1: My dad uses these poison traps that they don't even
Speaker 1: barely have to deal with a carcass doing a breakdown
Speaker 1: of how to kill rats they have like the new
Speaker 1: stuff they have is amazing, although a good old fashion.
Speaker 4: I'm so sorry, are you willing to kill rats?
Speaker 6: I don't even want to talk about it? But I
Speaker 6: just asked them, are you sure, Dave? Is there anything
Speaker 6: else you could be?
Speaker 2: The red queen? He could be the ret key.
Speaker 4: Mat Me put a smiley face after those texts.
Speaker 5: Don't forget that last one. I definitely did not.
Speaker 1: Okay, well, maybe this is time to compromise.
Speaker 4: And then he says, if you do this, then he
Speaker 4: did two hundred dollars off.
Speaker 1: Your red Say you're going to do it, then start
Speaker 1: dating an exterminator and get him to come in and
Speaker 1: do the work.
Speaker 4: Stop trying to live out your fantasy. To our listeners,
Speaker 4: most people dream of a pizza boy.
Speaker 2: I bet they don't have a lot of options in
Speaker 2: the day.
Speaker 4: Let's get back to the texts. Is that so we said?
Speaker 4: Is there anything else that you can do?
Speaker 5: Are you sure?
Speaker 6: David, is there anything else? And he is typing again.
Speaker 6: He says, we have an ant problem in the northwest
Speaker 6: part of the building.
Speaker 2: That what isn't living in your apartment building?
Speaker 4: Now you work there too.
Speaker 6: I mean, first he wanted me to do deal with
Speaker 6: the rats, and now he wants me to get rid
Speaker 6: of the ant.
Speaker 2: Are you open to that?
Speaker 4: Because I have been there in a second, I can't
Speaker 4: wait to kill a bunch of.
Speaker 6: Honest Okay, well, you I think if you knock off,
Speaker 6: if you knock off to hundred, I'll do.
Speaker 2: The rat negotiations. You're gonna get it.
Speaker 4: That's good.
Speaker 5: I'll do the rat thing.
Speaker 6: Okay, can you send me a link for like the
Speaker 6: poison traps that you're down?
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely can. I'll text my dad right now. He
Speaker 2: loves this stuff. Are you kidding me?
Speaker 4: Brook will do a whole podcast about properly. I feel
Speaker 4: my dad textually healed you now at this point, right Kelly,
Speaker 4: Oh my.
Speaker 6: Gosh, Dave, Dave.
Speaker 5: Dave just texted back deal.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Now you're the rat lady in the building. Are
Speaker 4: there any snakes in there too? For free?
Speaker 2: It's probably more likely raccoon.
Speaker 6: Well, I'll let you know if I end up with
Speaker 6: the bubonic plate, but I think I get to keep
Speaker 6: the apartment.
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 4: Yeah, if you ever want textual healing, please email someone else.
Speaker 6: Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 2: Oh what we won't do for cheaper rent?
Speaker 6: For real rats?
Speaker 4: Rat?
Speaker 6: Would you?
Speaker 1: Would you hunt down some rats for Twitter bucks? Off
Speaker 1: your red I just.
Speaker 2: Hate rats so much. I said that I could do
Speaker 2: with spiders.
Speaker 1: Yes, if you think of rats just as little big mice,
Speaker 1: I still don't like that. You don't like little bigger mice?
Speaker 2: Yeah, enormous, little baby. Did you say rats?
Speaker 7: No?
Speaker 2: Bro, Okay, the spiders you can handle. Yeah, I could
Speaker 2: do that. For what do I do? Jose?
Speaker 1: What do you?
Speaker 2: What do you think you could take down?
Speaker 4: I would never kill an animal because I'm a saint.
Speaker 2: Killing capture and bring it to a new hull.
Speaker 4: No, to be honest, I'm scared of all animals.
Speaker 2: Sorry, nobody captures rats and brings them to New.
Speaker 1: Yeah, back to the sewer, little guy.
Speaker 4: My life's changed seven.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for being here. This is a
Speaker 1: Bricka Jeffrey Second Day podcast. It's the official one, so
Speaker 1: we'd love you to subscribe it in.
Speaker 2: The world to us and do what you need to
Speaker 2: do to get that two hundred dollars off your red. Yeah,
Speaker 2: let us know what you end up doing. Yeah, totally