1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:12,080 Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer Podcast. Here's Nicky. Hello here I am. 2 00:00:12,119 --> 00:00:14,560 Speaker 1: It's a Nicki Glazer podcast. Welcome to the show. I'm 3 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:18,880 Speaker 1: Nicky Glazer. It is Tuesday here in Los Angeles. Um, 4 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:22,000 Speaker 1: this is coming out Tuesday nights. We're taping day of UM. 5 00:00:22,079 --> 00:00:25,280 Speaker 1: I just have to say that I feel proud of us. Yeah, 6 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:30,200 Speaker 1: you get this thing out. It is current. Um, Anya's 7 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:36,480 Speaker 1: here on your Marina. Hello, Anya, Hey, baby is not here. 8 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:39,400 Speaker 1: You're not here with me, but um, we're you know, remote, 9 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,360 Speaker 1: but it feels like we're all here. I was just 10 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:44,479 Speaker 1: thinking today how lucky I am that I get to 11 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:48,200 Speaker 1: do a podcast where there's just no I'm not like nervous. 12 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,360 Speaker 1: I just get to hang out with my friends, and 13 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:53,600 Speaker 1: you know, it's just a job that is just so ideal. 14 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:56,880 Speaker 1: What we just like, this is exactly the same conversation, 15 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:00,240 Speaker 1: maybe better, maybe a better conversation than one you would 16 00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:03,480 Speaker 1: eavesdrop on if we were if you heard us eating 17 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:06,040 Speaker 1: in the in the Whole Foods cafeteria like we did 18 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:08,960 Speaker 1: last week. Noah, like you will really hear that much 19 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,360 Speaker 1: of a different conversation. I mean, maybe my voice be 20 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:14,400 Speaker 1: a little bit more like this. I like, you know, 21 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:16,640 Speaker 1: but it's it's pretty much the same thing. It's so cool. 22 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:18,520 Speaker 1: And in next week I'm gonna have on my friend 23 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:21,959 Speaker 1: Brian Frangie, so gear up for that. He um. I 24 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:24,280 Speaker 1: used to do a podcast with him called a not 25 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,959 Speaker 1: Safe Podcast. It was when I was had that show 26 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:30,080 Speaker 1: on Comedy Central and he and Dan Saint Germain, another 27 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:33,600 Speaker 1: really funny comedian were my two Well, Brian was my 28 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:36,679 Speaker 1: producer and then Jan was my co host, but Brian 29 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:38,520 Speaker 1: ended up being like one of the co hosts as well. 30 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:41,280 Speaker 1: And he's hilarious. You guys are gonna love him. He 31 00:01:41,319 --> 00:01:43,679 Speaker 1: doesn't like an Apple blog where he just like reviews 32 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:45,880 Speaker 1: apples really savagely. I've talked about him a ton of 33 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:50,040 Speaker 1: down before, but he's just likely. I can't wait. He's 34 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:54,040 Speaker 1: it's so funny. Um. He has strong opinions about apples, 35 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:56,120 Speaker 1: the Sweet Tango being his favorite apple of all time, 36 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:58,200 Speaker 1: The Sweet Tango. People like even talk to him and 37 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:00,240 Speaker 1: like flew him out to the Sweet Tango Farm to 38 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:03,240 Speaker 1: like because he's done so much good publicity for them. 39 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:06,040 Speaker 1: But he does a blog call the Apple Rankings dot 40 00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:08,320 Speaker 1: com if you want to check it out. It's so funny. 41 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:10,520 Speaker 1: He's just the best guy. And um, I just know 42 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,600 Speaker 1: besties are gonna love him and I'm excited for you 43 00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:14,160 Speaker 1: guys to meet him next week. He'll be on both 44 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:17,400 Speaker 1: the shows next week. So Brian Frangie f R A 45 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:19,760 Speaker 1: n GE is his name, and he um, yeah. He 46 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:22,079 Speaker 1: writes for Adam Ruins Everything, that old show, and then 47 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:26,920 Speaker 1: he also writes for Adam what's Adam's name, Adam Ruins 48 00:02:26,919 --> 00:02:30,320 Speaker 1: Everything guy fuck Adam Conover. He writes for his like 49 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,040 Speaker 1: YouTube channel where he does like these serious breakdowns of 50 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:35,600 Speaker 1: like why does Ticketmaster? Why does Ticketmaster suck? And then 51 00:02:35,639 --> 00:02:38,400 Speaker 1: he like explained it all and you like understand everything, 52 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:41,160 Speaker 1: and it's all about capitalism and there's like three guys 53 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:43,560 Speaker 1: at the top. It's pretty much the show Succession is 54 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:47,720 Speaker 1: the answer for everything, which I have so much to cover. 55 00:02:47,919 --> 00:02:50,919 Speaker 1: But right now I am in. I'm in on Succession, 56 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,080 Speaker 1: Like you guys know, I go through phases of like 57 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:56,799 Speaker 1: I'll be into Veep, I'll be into um Seinfeld, I'll 58 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:59,040 Speaker 1: be into just shoot me um. Shout out to the 59 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:00,840 Speaker 1: bestie who wrote me to that she is going on 60 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:04,799 Speaker 1: a job interview via zoom I think with a potential 61 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:07,480 Speaker 1: boss and his name is Jack Gallo, which is the 62 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:08,920 Speaker 1: name of the boss on Just Shoot Me and she 63 00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:10,520 Speaker 1: was like, I was thinking of you, and I'm like, 64 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:14,400 Speaker 1: good luck, Busty. But right now I'm in a succession phase. 65 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:18,079 Speaker 1: I just finished season one. I tried to get into 66 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,400 Speaker 1: the show before, it was just I didn't have anyone 67 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:24,760 Speaker 1: to watch it with. This time, I am gearing up 68 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:26,680 Speaker 1: for season four, which is going to drop I think 69 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:30,440 Speaker 1: March twenty sixth, and or it's going to start March 70 00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:32,840 Speaker 1: twenty six I love how HBO like does it old 71 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:35,520 Speaker 1: school style with one a week. It's just it's not 72 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:38,440 Speaker 1: too much. Noah and on you. You are both caught 73 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:42,200 Speaker 1: up through season three, correct, like you're ready for season four? Yes? 74 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:45,160 Speaker 1: Now where would your rank for you? Because I want 75 00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:48,320 Speaker 1: to talk about how I feel about Succession in shows 76 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:51,960 Speaker 1: of all time? Because we are talking about critically one 77 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,480 Speaker 1: of the best shows awards wise as well one of 78 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:59,720 Speaker 1: the best shows written and performed reviews wise. Now do 79 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:03,000 Speaker 1: you feel it fits into your like top shows? Like 80 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:04,960 Speaker 1: if you're if you're going through your favorite shows of 81 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:08,520 Speaker 1: all time? Is it up there for you? Absolutely? For me, 82 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:12,320 Speaker 1: it's top three, I would say Succession Veep, and then 83 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:14,400 Speaker 1: I'm leaving an open spot for something I think of 84 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:16,200 Speaker 1: later at three in the morning, when I'm like, okay, 85 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:18,479 Speaker 1: well I can I give you mine mine arm. Mad 86 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:21,000 Speaker 1: Men is my number one, just because I don't remember 87 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:24,160 Speaker 1: anything almost that happens in it, except when John Hamm 88 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:26,040 Speaker 1: says I don't think about you at all to Pete. 89 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:29,279 Speaker 1: And then like when um, John Slattery's character like the 90 00:04:29,279 --> 00:04:32,120 Speaker 1: old guy Roger like fingers Joan and they have like 91 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:33,919 Speaker 1: sex on the street. Those are like two moments I 92 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:37,479 Speaker 1: remember and like, god, I forgot the little girl is 93 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:40,400 Speaker 1: yes by a dumpster, they like almost get mugged, and 94 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,640 Speaker 1: then they're like fueled by their and then they like, 95 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:45,119 Speaker 1: oh that was so good, Oh my god. Spoiler alert 96 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:47,200 Speaker 1: for a show that happened twelve years ago. But um, 97 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:51,920 Speaker 1: maybe more um. I would say mad Men, Veep, thirty Rock. 98 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:56,760 Speaker 1: But if we're going dramas, succession is succession is like 99 00:04:56,800 --> 00:05:00,400 Speaker 1: a I would say it's ten percent veep because I'm 100 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:02,320 Speaker 1: not giving it. I hate when people go it's half 101 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:07,039 Speaker 1: Veep half mad Men. It's not all. It's funny but 102 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:10,120 Speaker 1: is not purposely funny. The way Veep is veep is 103 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:13,599 Speaker 1: like you know, you cannot blink without missing a joke, 104 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:20,120 Speaker 1: whereas Succession. It's it's it's it's constantly funny. I mean, 105 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,320 Speaker 1: there's some of the funniest things I've ever seen in 106 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:24,760 Speaker 1: my life on this show. But the acting is just 107 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:28,159 Speaker 1: so superb, and you know what, I want to see 108 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:29,720 Speaker 1: so bad. I was watching it with Chris last night. 109 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:31,760 Speaker 1: We're into season two, and I said, do you want 110 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:34,479 Speaker 1: I'm dying to see and I like almost want to 111 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:36,880 Speaker 1: make this happen. I want to take up an episode 112 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:39,520 Speaker 1: of Succession, one of the best active shows of all 113 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:42,480 Speaker 1: time probably, and I want to put bad actors in 114 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:44,960 Speaker 1: it and see how it is. I want to see 115 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 1: that show with bad actors and see if it's still good. 116 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:50,120 Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean? Like just the way 117 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:53,360 Speaker 1: that they people have said, um, at the Olympics, let's 118 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:56,440 Speaker 1: have one guy who's regular run on the track or 119 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:59,120 Speaker 1: swim against them, just so we can compare, because you 120 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:03,240 Speaker 1: kind of start to lose context when you're watching all 121 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,480 Speaker 1: these Olympic athletes. You don't know how slow the average 122 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:07,880 Speaker 1: person is. Let's put something average in there to see 123 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:10,680 Speaker 1: how good It would be funny to see like the 124 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:12,479 Speaker 1: you know that movie The Room, which is like the 125 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:17,320 Speaker 1: worst acted movie. Those kinds of like porn actors in this, 126 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:21,359 Speaker 1: but they're trying their best. I just I want to 127 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:24,520 Speaker 1: be on the show so fucking bad. I am obsessed 128 00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:27,200 Speaker 1: with every character. I want to be Shiv and just 129 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:31,160 Speaker 1: like always like okay, cool. Like she's always just like 130 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:33,960 Speaker 1: like tucking her like kind of neck back and going 131 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:38,719 Speaker 1: like yeah, okay, and then I love and my but 132 00:06:38,839 --> 00:06:41,640 Speaker 1: my favorite character to do an impression of is um 133 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:48,239 Speaker 1: Marsian uh Roy uh Logan Roy's wife, and she everything 134 00:06:48,279 --> 00:06:51,600 Speaker 1: she says is so intense and she's just I've just 135 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:54,200 Speaker 1: been like telling people think like I've been telling Chris, 136 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:56,359 Speaker 1: like just talking to Chris like in this voice, like 137 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:59,560 Speaker 1: it's almost sexual, but it's like evil. I want to 138 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:02,320 Speaker 1: play an evil person Um. And I think that's why 139 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:07,760 Speaker 1: I'm attracted now to more characters that are like older enchantresses, 140 00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:10,440 Speaker 1: because that's I'm going through that phase. I'm going through 141 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:12,840 Speaker 1: many phases in my life, going through a succession phase. 142 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,440 Speaker 1: I'm going through my witch phase, and I'm also going 143 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:17,760 Speaker 1: through a pizza phase, but we'll get to that in 144 00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:24,360 Speaker 1: a second. Succession any through very manipause and pizza. She 145 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:28,840 Speaker 1: makes me not scared to go through manipause because she's 146 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:32,880 Speaker 1: so erotic, and she's also very old. I mean that 147 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:36,360 Speaker 1: actress is probably sixty five sixty yeah, you know, like 148 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:39,480 Speaker 1: she has not done maybe too much to her face, 149 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:43,040 Speaker 1: but she is intense and she is captivating. You know. 150 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:46,679 Speaker 1: I think as I age I go, there's without question 151 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,720 Speaker 1: that people want to see old women on screen less 152 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:52,440 Speaker 1: as they age. There's no debate about it. I don't 153 00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:54,520 Speaker 1: care how good of an actress they are. We'd rather 154 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:57,680 Speaker 1: see a young person's beautiful face. They're just it's nice 155 00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:00,280 Speaker 1: to it's pleasant to look at oldness and minds us 156 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,960 Speaker 1: of death. It reminds us of like our own mortality. 157 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:05,280 Speaker 1: It's not that we're just like disgusted by old people, 158 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:07,880 Speaker 1: but we kind of are because you need You don't 159 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:10,400 Speaker 1: want to be sexually attracted or like drawn to old 160 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:12,600 Speaker 1: people because then you want to fuck them, and they're 161 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:17,280 Speaker 1: too brittle to like take on fuckings. So biologically, when 162 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:18,920 Speaker 1: we all used to rape each other all the time 163 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,320 Speaker 1: to like, you know, in in tribes, I think it 164 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:24,760 Speaker 1: was mostly rape happened much like an animal kingdom. You 165 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:28,440 Speaker 1: don't want to rape an old woman. She can't do, 166 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:31,640 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Like canna happen there? What 167 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:34,240 Speaker 1: do you mean I've spent a lot of time googling. No. No, No, 168 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:36,080 Speaker 1: it would hurt her, as I'm saying, it would hurt 169 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:38,640 Speaker 1: a lot more to like jam your penis into an 170 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:41,360 Speaker 1: old person that can't like can't the bones can't take it. 171 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,520 Speaker 1: So it wouldn't. First of all, it wouldn't work because 172 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:45,400 Speaker 1: they're I like how you take the point of view 173 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:48,839 Speaker 1: of the rapist. No, we would hurt they want to 174 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:52,120 Speaker 1: be evil character. I thought, hurt your dick. Oh, oh 175 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:53,839 Speaker 1: my god. I don't care about their dick, but it 176 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,240 Speaker 1: probably what it would be very dry in there. I'm 177 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:59,040 Speaker 1: just concerned about, you know, I think about my dog 178 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,800 Speaker 1: that I'm not going to get an tik tak, who's 179 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:03,480 Speaker 1: dick dry? Dick is always just hanging out. And more 180 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:06,400 Speaker 1: on that in a second. Um thoughts on sorry I'm 181 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:10,760 Speaker 1: stunned by monologue thoughts on success. I just wanted to say. 182 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:14,040 Speaker 1: Season two was really where I put my phone down 183 00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:17,160 Speaker 1: while watching the show and really started paying attention. I think, 184 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,960 Speaker 1: and I go, this is a good show. Yeah, Okay, 185 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:23,360 Speaker 1: I put my phone down and that's it. It's final. 186 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:27,240 Speaker 1: I'm putting my phone down. What happened? No, you're not 187 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:30,520 Speaker 1: even kidding, like I love the show, but I'm missing 188 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:33,520 Speaker 1: parts of it. Like even last night Chris mentioned something 189 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,440 Speaker 1: and I go, oh, I didn't see that. He's like, 190 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:37,240 Speaker 1: you know when Greg sees shive with the guy and 191 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:39,000 Speaker 1: I go, I don't. I don't even know what you're 192 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:41,480 Speaker 1: talking about because I was on my phone. Probably this 193 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:45,520 Speaker 1: is how we watch things nowadays. Um, and that's so 194 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:48,520 Speaker 1: into it though. There are so many little clues like 195 00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:51,280 Speaker 1: that where I watched the whole season twice. I watched 196 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:54,600 Speaker 1: the whole show twice, and on the second round, I'm like, Okay, 197 00:09:54,679 --> 00:09:58,000 Speaker 1: this is fucking art. Like these people worked so hard 198 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:01,640 Speaker 1: on this. There's like there's stuff sewn into the show, 199 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:04,160 Speaker 1: like it's like a secret message in the fabric of 200 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:07,520 Speaker 1: the coat of succession. You're like, wait what, I never 201 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:10,199 Speaker 1: noticed that the first time. Like it's so cool, and 202 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:14,520 Speaker 1: it's why is it that rich people are so fascinating. 203 00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:18,679 Speaker 1: I think it's because there's no these people If you 204 00:10:18,679 --> 00:10:20,240 Speaker 1: don't know the show, And I'm sorry if this is 205 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:23,559 Speaker 1: like leaving you out, but it's I think this will 206 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:27,440 Speaker 1: be interesting to you. It's just watching people who literally 207 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:30,360 Speaker 1: have no there's nothing more they could want for, you know, like, 208 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:33,160 Speaker 1: there's a certain point of richness where you there's no 209 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,760 Speaker 1: better car you can drive, there's nobody helicopter you can take, 210 00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:40,040 Speaker 1: there's no what are they? What are they? What do 211 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:43,040 Speaker 1: they want now? And they're still all vying for power, 212 00:10:43,679 --> 00:10:46,240 Speaker 1: but power, money is power, and they already have all 213 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:48,520 Speaker 1: the money in the world. They're richer than anyone, and 214 00:10:48,559 --> 00:10:50,480 Speaker 1: they're very flagrant with it. They'll just be like, yeah, 215 00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:52,440 Speaker 1: I'm rich in the same way that I like. I 216 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:56,199 Speaker 1: like when people can be just like you know. At 217 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,200 Speaker 1: one point, Kendall is driving a car and he's kind 218 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:02,280 Speaker 1: of bad at it, and this guy I goes He's like, oh, 219 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:04,000 Speaker 1: stick chef, and he's like yeah, but I also like, 220 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,320 Speaker 1: don't drive cars very often. He goes wine. He goes 221 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:09,480 Speaker 1: because I'm incredibly rich and I'm driven most places. And 222 00:11:09,559 --> 00:11:12,679 Speaker 1: it's like, I just like his bluntness of like, yeah, 223 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:15,679 Speaker 1: that's that's the way it is. They are aware of it, 224 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:19,440 Speaker 1: um and they are all evil, but you also like 225 00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:22,240 Speaker 1: root for them. I'm like obsessed. I'm just obsessed with 226 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:23,880 Speaker 1: the show. I can't wait to get back into it, 227 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:27,480 Speaker 1: and I have. It's so exciting to have witnessed all 228 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,280 Speaker 1: of these moments on Instagram and Twitter, where people are like, 229 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:34,800 Speaker 1: holy fuck succession tonight, what the fuck just happened? I 230 00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:36,800 Speaker 1: know there's a big what the fuck that happens in 231 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:40,000 Speaker 1: the third season, like a bit like yeah, like a 232 00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:44,120 Speaker 1: massive one I won't see coming. And how exciting is that? 233 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:47,400 Speaker 1: I like, it's so jealous that certain like I'm jealous 234 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:50,440 Speaker 1: that Anya hasn't seen Titanic, like I do think they 235 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:55,640 Speaker 1: will hold up, Like there's certain kind of thing. It's 236 00:11:55,679 --> 00:11:58,120 Speaker 1: so good, did you like I want to watch that 237 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,640 Speaker 1: back to back with what it's the other one? I 238 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:07,200 Speaker 1: have Poconasladdin that I have seen. I have seen Titanic, 239 00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:08,840 Speaker 1: but I didn't like it because when I watched, I 240 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:11,280 Speaker 1: was like in my like heavy metal, I don't like 241 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:15,880 Speaker 1: romance stuff face. I guarantee I'm not gonna like Titanic. 242 00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:18,640 Speaker 1: I just guarantee it. I wish I could. I wish 243 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:20,960 Speaker 1: there was a bet we could take that was solid, 244 00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:23,319 Speaker 1: but there's just no Well, I think you're going into 245 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:27,400 Speaker 1: it hating it, but it's it's it one best picture. 246 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:30,679 Speaker 1: It's it was in it was, it was in the 247 00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:35,600 Speaker 1: theater like fourteen years um. It wouldn't like people wouldn't 248 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,559 Speaker 1: stop seeing it. It was on the theaters for like 249 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:40,240 Speaker 1: two years. I'm not doing like it was something ridiculous 250 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:44,080 Speaker 1: like that. It wouldn't leave the theaters. Sometimes popular things 251 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:47,880 Speaker 1: are good. Yeah, why do you think you like it? 252 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:52,200 Speaker 1: It's not my wheelhouse, Like I like indie stuff. I 253 00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:55,160 Speaker 1: don't like big But that's good. You sound good when 254 00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:58,480 Speaker 1: you're saying that. Oh, I just don't like it. I 255 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:01,920 Speaker 1: mean maybe I'm not like indie. Yeah. Well, so if 256 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:06,280 Speaker 1: it was a well and it would guarantee Aftersun is 257 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,080 Speaker 1: one of the best films I've seen all years? So 258 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:11,960 Speaker 1: was Tar? Tar is a blockbuster? Right? Wouldn't you say 259 00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:17,480 Speaker 1: it's a blockbuster? What blockbuster means? Like it's like killed 260 00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:19,280 Speaker 1: it in the box office. And I don't think that 261 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:22,840 Speaker 1: it is true or not. It was almost immediately, but 262 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:24,880 Speaker 1: I think it's definitely people have seen it, it's popular, 263 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:27,320 Speaker 1: it's nominated. I guess it was a huge budget. It 264 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:29,560 Speaker 1: was critically, I think, oh it was okay. I thought 265 00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,240 Speaker 1: it was a bunch of people talking time, So I 266 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:34,240 Speaker 1: didn't think it was a huge budget. But okay, you're 267 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,840 Speaker 1: probably right. It's not a blockbuster, but it was a 268 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,440 Speaker 1: big film, whereas After Sun is like a little one. 269 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:44,480 Speaker 1: I guarantee if you saw Aftersun and kept your phone down. No, 270 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:46,560 Speaker 1: I can't guarantee this. I was gonna say you'd love it. 271 00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:48,480 Speaker 1: I think you might think it's the most boring film 272 00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:51,800 Speaker 1: of all time. But it's so beautiful. It's so slow 273 00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:57,240 Speaker 1: and beautiful. Okay, so Titanic, just Titanic beautiful. Did you 274 00:13:57,240 --> 00:14:00,040 Speaker 1: like Jurassic Park or did you hate Jurassic Park? No? 275 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,120 Speaker 1: I didn't. You did not like Jurassic Park. Did you 276 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:05,959 Speaker 1: see it? Ever? Yes, when I saw it, the latest 277 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:11,440 Speaker 1: one stud like Jurassic Park holds up in terms of 278 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:15,200 Speaker 1: like the CGI. I mean, Titanic is just a masterpiece. 279 00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:20,920 Speaker 1: It is. It's gorgeous, it has a like winding long story. 280 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,280 Speaker 1: It's just like it's it's beautiful. I remember, I mean 281 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,520 Speaker 1: I was in eighth grade when I couldn't sleep because 282 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:27,120 Speaker 1: I was so obsessed with it. I remember the first 283 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:30,120 Speaker 1: time I saw it, I just I couldn't stop crying. 284 00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:35,160 Speaker 1: The love story and the epicness of the special effects, 285 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:39,440 Speaker 1: and like seeing you witness the Titanic sink, you witness 286 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:42,320 Speaker 1: like the mayhem that happened when the iceberg hit, You 287 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:45,080 Speaker 1: witness like you know, every man for himself women and 288 00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:47,920 Speaker 1: children first, the lifeboats, the draft, like and you see 289 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:51,200 Speaker 1: it coming, you see like how how you just are 290 00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:54,000 Speaker 1: brought into that world so beautifully. I mean, James Cameron 291 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:56,880 Speaker 1: kind of knows what he's doing. Um, and it's just 292 00:14:57,120 --> 00:15:00,280 Speaker 1: and Leo and Rose, I mean Kate Wins. I mean, 293 00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:05,400 Speaker 1: there's no two better actors out there. And chemistry, oh 294 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:10,680 Speaker 1: my god, yes, it must be cleared danes Um. But 295 00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:12,920 Speaker 1: she had just she turned it down, and she had 296 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:14,680 Speaker 1: just done Romeo and Juliet and she was like, I 297 00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:16,560 Speaker 1: don't want to do that again where I'm shooting in 298 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:20,200 Speaker 1: Mexico for a year, like I just did this epic thing. 299 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:22,720 Speaker 1: So she turned it down. But Kate Wins, like, oh 300 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:24,880 Speaker 1: my god, they have the they're still friends. I mean, 301 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,920 Speaker 1: their chemistry is crazy. It was the first time I 302 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:30,400 Speaker 1: had watched something and been like just I mean it 303 00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:32,200 Speaker 1: kind of was one of those like, you know, it 304 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:36,520 Speaker 1: turned the ignition on of my of my um womanhood. 305 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:39,000 Speaker 1: You know, it was just kind of like a like 306 00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:41,120 Speaker 1: it was like starting up and it was like kind 307 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:43,960 Speaker 1: of turn the engine was turning over. I remember being 308 00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:46,360 Speaker 1: up at night looking at a blinking VCR because I 309 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:48,200 Speaker 1: couldn't sleep. I was on my parents' floor, of course, 310 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:52,200 Speaker 1: because I never was cleared ghosts or whatever, nuclear war. 311 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:54,880 Speaker 1: I was thinking, you probably liked it so much because 312 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:58,160 Speaker 1: it goes with your first word, which was danger. You're 313 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:01,440 Speaker 1: watching like, yes, like there's a imminent danger. But it 314 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:03,960 Speaker 1: was really the love story, like I was just so 315 00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:08,560 Speaker 1: into I've always loved like will they won't they? And 316 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:13,120 Speaker 1: then like little catching glances and then like forbidden love. 317 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:15,320 Speaker 1: I'm always into that, and it's the most forbidden love 318 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:17,560 Speaker 1: because we all know he fucking dies at the end, 319 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,720 Speaker 1: and it's so cruel that they took him from us 320 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:21,320 Speaker 1: at the end, and that could he have fit on 321 00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:24,440 Speaker 1: the board with her, We don't know. But just tying 322 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:27,560 Speaker 1: this back around when I was talking on the podcast 323 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:30,240 Speaker 1: a year or so ago about how I love those 324 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:33,800 Speaker 1: will they won't they? Like just like hand holding, like 325 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:37,320 Speaker 1: and then like eroticism that's just so subtle in movies 326 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:40,560 Speaker 1: where there's like little things. A bunch of besties sent 327 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:44,080 Speaker 1: me a clip from Pride and Prejudice two thousand and 328 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:48,920 Speaker 1: five with Kiera Knightley and Darcy. You know the character 329 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:52,360 Speaker 1: and there's this one scene where you know their whole 330 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:54,480 Speaker 1: storyline is kind of the same thing a Ross and Rachel, 331 00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:56,960 Speaker 1: but he's like, you know, he's too proud, and she's 332 00:16:57,120 --> 00:17:00,080 Speaker 1: in prejudice of her kind of like lower status, but 333 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:01,760 Speaker 1: he's drawn to her and he can't help it, and 334 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:03,760 Speaker 1: she's just like bold and kind of like, I don't 335 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:05,560 Speaker 1: even like you. I don't even think you're cool because 336 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:08,120 Speaker 1: you're rich. And then their hands touch at one point 337 00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:10,880 Speaker 1: because he helps her into this carriage, and she kind 338 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:12,320 Speaker 1: of feels like you can see her be like, oh 339 00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:14,240 Speaker 1: my god, like distracted, like what was that feeling I 340 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:16,399 Speaker 1: just caught from his hand and it's so electric, And 341 00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:18,439 Speaker 1: then he walks away and you see him like flex 342 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:20,200 Speaker 1: his hand, and that is like one of the hottest 343 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,959 Speaker 1: scenes I've ever seen. Cut to me watching all the scenes. 344 00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:25,200 Speaker 1: I've never even seen Pride and Prejudice the whole movie. 345 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:28,000 Speaker 1: I've only watched the YouTube compilations of all the romantic 346 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:30,640 Speaker 1: scenes between Darcy. There's their whole relationship. You can watch 347 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:32,840 Speaker 1: it in one half hour, and it really just like 348 00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:35,119 Speaker 1: you can follow the storyline, you know exactly what's happening. 349 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:40,080 Speaker 1: But then so I'm watching Succession over the weekend and 350 00:17:40,119 --> 00:17:42,359 Speaker 1: I go this Tom guy, who Tom is one of 351 00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:44,560 Speaker 1: the best characters of all time. I go, what else 352 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,840 Speaker 1: has he been in? I need to know? He's so good. 353 00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:52,080 Speaker 1: He was Darcy on Pride and Prejudice. He doesn't five. 354 00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:55,560 Speaker 1: He's the guy that I've literally don't know because this 355 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:59,000 Speaker 1: is so there. Chemistry is so he is the romantic lead. 356 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:03,600 Speaker 1: But versus Kiera Knightley in Pride and Prejudice, this goofy, dopey, 357 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:10,399 Speaker 1: corny idiot like Tom selfish but also like sweet, This 358 00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:13,240 Speaker 1: like dork Tom, who you would never be. Like, Wow, 359 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:16,560 Speaker 1: he's so hot. He is the pinnacle of hotness in 360 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,720 Speaker 1: Pride and Prejudice and it's so cool. I think he's 361 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:24,439 Speaker 1: so hot in succession though his characters first season, is 362 00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:26,480 Speaker 1: he hot because I have not caught a glimpse of 363 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:29,679 Speaker 1: I mean there's moments where he I like how honest 364 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:32,560 Speaker 1: he is, and it's just like he's just like he's 365 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,680 Speaker 1: so stupid. He's honest all the time, So there isn't 366 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,879 Speaker 1: attractiveness there. Okay, we have so much more to talk 367 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:38,480 Speaker 1: about on the show, including why I didn't get a 368 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,439 Speaker 1: dog TikTok, and also my pizza face, So we'll get 369 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,600 Speaker 1: back to that as soon as we get back from 370 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:51,320 Speaker 1: break all Right, so we're back. I update on the 371 00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:58,560 Speaker 1: dog situation. Yesterday, I was flying back from Greensboro, North Carolina. 372 00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:03,320 Speaker 1: I mean this weekend it was a such a blur 373 00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:12,439 Speaker 1: of Marriotts and theaters and southern towns and highways, and 374 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:16,360 Speaker 1: I mean it was it was the same thing rich. 375 00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:19,119 Speaker 1: I mean, I loved all the shows this weekend. Thank 376 00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:22,200 Speaker 1: you to everyone for coming out. Definitely like made a 377 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:26,040 Speaker 1: mark in the South. I will be back to these places. Greensboro, Durham. 378 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:29,280 Speaker 1: I've always loved Raleigh and Durham, but Rale, I mean 379 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:31,440 Speaker 1: Durham I didn't get a chance to see, but I've 380 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:34,320 Speaker 1: always loved Raleigh. But Durham I played this weekend and 381 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:37,080 Speaker 1: that we played, and then, um, what was the other one? 382 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:40,800 Speaker 1: Charleston was awesome and before God, what a beautiful cute 383 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:42,720 Speaker 1: town that was in. There was some drama there though, 384 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:46,800 Speaker 1: but lovely shows. Thanks for coming out. Um flying back yesterday, 385 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,919 Speaker 1: I'm like looking at pictures of tik Tak. I know 386 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,439 Speaker 1: that he has a respiratory thing going on now, and 387 00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:55,240 Speaker 1: he has to get on meds before he can get neutered, 388 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:57,159 Speaker 1: so I can't get him till after he's neutered. So 389 00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:58,840 Speaker 1: I'm like I might have to fly back to LA. 390 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:02,480 Speaker 1: I'm texting with Natalie from Mayday Rescue. She's updating me 391 00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:05,080 Speaker 1: about they've got him on med's he should be ready 392 00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:07,280 Speaker 1: to get neutered next week, and so I was like, Okay, 393 00:20:07,359 --> 00:20:09,159 Speaker 1: I'm trying to find time to come back to LA 394 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,000 Speaker 1: because I'm leaving this week to come back to Saint 395 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:14,440 Speaker 1: Louis just to pick up tik tok. And then we're 396 00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:17,640 Speaker 1: talking and she's like, it doesn't look like I don't 397 00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:19,439 Speaker 1: know how we got on it, but she's like, he's 398 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:23,920 Speaker 1: he needs to find consistency because he's not potty trained yet. 399 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:25,440 Speaker 1: And I did not know he was not potty trained. 400 00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:27,480 Speaker 1: This is a ten year old dog. I'm finding out 401 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,600 Speaker 1: he's not eight. He's ten that's never been potty trained, 402 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:33,359 Speaker 1: which is heartbreaking if you think about it, because I 403 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,480 Speaker 1: don't know his history, but that means no one's ever 404 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:39,639 Speaker 1: he's never been domesticated, truly, he's never felt safe, like 405 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:42,840 Speaker 1: he's never had a leader, he's never had something he 406 00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:45,280 Speaker 1: can trust, and like he's never been shown the way. 407 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:48,119 Speaker 1: And it also means he's probably been beat a lot, 408 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:51,880 Speaker 1: because dogs that don't the number one reason that people 409 00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:54,640 Speaker 1: beat dogs. I'm guessing I'm not you know, the head 410 00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:57,240 Speaker 1: of peta, but it's probably because they shit somewhere or 411 00:20:57,280 --> 00:21:00,159 Speaker 1: they piss on something and then people fly off the 412 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,000 Speaker 1: handles and they beat dogs. So this dog has probably 413 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,680 Speaker 1: seen savagery because no one's trained it and it's ten 414 00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:07,840 Speaker 1: years of life. And so I was like, well, I'm 415 00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:10,399 Speaker 1: gonna start. I googled, I go how do you I go, 416 00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:13,520 Speaker 1: how long does it usually take to potty train a 417 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,800 Speaker 1: dog that's ten years old. I was like, I'm going 418 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:17,720 Speaker 1: to read about it, and I'm starting to google. And 419 00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:20,720 Speaker 1: she goes, it's probably not going to happen for him 420 00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:23,480 Speaker 1: if he hasn't learned now, and especially with your schedule 421 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:25,280 Speaker 1: of like not being in the same place at one point. 422 00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,520 Speaker 1: And I was like, she goes, but he wears, you know, 423 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,920 Speaker 1: that little diaper he could put on, like this little 424 00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:32,480 Speaker 1: wrap thing around his penis, he's already wearing. She's like, 425 00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:34,560 Speaker 1: so that can like pick up the piss if he 426 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:37,800 Speaker 1: And I'm like, I would do this if I lived 427 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:39,520 Speaker 1: in my own place. I wouldn't care if my place 428 00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,480 Speaker 1: smelled like dogs. I would like find a way to 429 00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:44,920 Speaker 1: make it work, truly, But I'm staying in Airbnb's, I'm 430 00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,320 Speaker 1: staying in hotels, I'm flying on planes. I'm like, I 431 00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:49,320 Speaker 1: can't have a dog that is not potty train. I 432 00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:53,440 Speaker 1: just can't. And tears start welling in my eyes because 433 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:55,600 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, I can't have this dog. 434 00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:56,920 Speaker 1: And so I wrote her and I was like, I'm 435 00:21:56,960 --> 00:22:00,240 Speaker 1: so sorry, like I can't. I didn't really know this 436 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:02,320 Speaker 1: about him, and I don't think she quite understood this 437 00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:05,080 Speaker 1: about him either, and so she was totally understanding. I 438 00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:06,359 Speaker 1: was kind of scared to tell her, but she was like, 439 00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:08,520 Speaker 1: that's okay, what about Neil. And I'm like, I can't 440 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,919 Speaker 1: look at Neil the dog yet, Like I need to 441 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:15,480 Speaker 1: mourn the loss of this dog that is on my 442 00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:18,879 Speaker 1: phone face plate. Still I can't take him off because 443 00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:21,400 Speaker 1: I just have hope that somehow he's just gonna learn 444 00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:24,840 Speaker 1: or something or and I've been watching videos constantly, like 445 00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:28,720 Speaker 1: I've spent hours imagining my life with this dog. Like 446 00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:31,040 Speaker 1: it feels like a little bit of like how I 447 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,840 Speaker 1: used to feel when I would jump the gun with 448 00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:36,679 Speaker 1: men and be like I'm gonna get married to this person, 449 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:40,160 Speaker 1: We're gonna be dating, We're I haven't had that feeling 450 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:43,560 Speaker 1: in so long of this like projecting the future and 451 00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:46,480 Speaker 1: like picturing your life and then it's just like pulled 452 00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:49,840 Speaker 1: out from under you. So I like wept on this 453 00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:53,000 Speaker 1: plane like a lot for me. I don't usually cry 454 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,520 Speaker 1: in planes because it's like in public and it's embarrassing. 455 00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:58,160 Speaker 1: But I was just like I just am so sad 456 00:22:58,200 --> 00:22:59,760 Speaker 1: that I can't have this dog. And it felt like 457 00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:02,680 Speaker 1: the closest thing I can have to like a miscarriage. 458 00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:04,800 Speaker 1: And I hate to like say that to people who 459 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:07,000 Speaker 1: have had it, but like I pictured my life with 460 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:08,240 Speaker 1: this thing that was going to be in my life 461 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:11,440 Speaker 1: for at least maybe ten years. So it's a long 462 00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:14,760 Speaker 1: it's a commitment, it's like and it just like it's 463 00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:17,040 Speaker 1: just I mean, I'm not a miscarad it's more like 464 00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:18,880 Speaker 1: a breakup when I think about it. It's just that's 465 00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:20,679 Speaker 1: the closest feeling I can have to It is like 466 00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:24,159 Speaker 1: I I there was no doubt in my mind I 467 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:25,560 Speaker 1: was going to have this dog. I announced it to 468 00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,800 Speaker 1: my parents, I announced it here. I announced like I 469 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:31,320 Speaker 1: told Natalie, it's happening. I'd agreed to do it. Like 470 00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:33,640 Speaker 1: so I was already had spent the money in my mind, 471 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:35,800 Speaker 1: I'd spent the time I had spent, and so it 472 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:38,720 Speaker 1: was just like such a bummer and I'm still so 473 00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:41,920 Speaker 1: sad about it, and I just hope if anyone out 474 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,359 Speaker 1: there is in LA area and you have a nice 475 00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:46,840 Speaker 1: home to give to tik Tak, I would really love 476 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:50,000 Speaker 1: him to like be just somewhere safe and like warm. 477 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,280 Speaker 1: And he's such a cute dog. And I'm so jealous 478 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:55,320 Speaker 1: of whoever gets him. You're so lucky because he is 479 00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:57,320 Speaker 1: like he was he. I feel like he was my 480 00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,919 Speaker 1: dog for like a minute, even though he didn't like 481 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,680 Speaker 1: me when I met him and he doesn't remember me, 482 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:04,760 Speaker 1: but for like a week and a half or a 483 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:08,199 Speaker 1: week and a half, yeah, he was my dog. And 484 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:09,720 Speaker 1: so I'm just kind of sad about that, and I'm 485 00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:11,640 Speaker 1: looking at other dogs, but I'm just not not even 486 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:15,480 Speaker 1: ready to look like I'm still like holding out hope. 487 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:17,240 Speaker 1: It really does feel like I was a stupid mini 488 00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:19,280 Speaker 1: breakup of how I always used to just get hung 489 00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:22,280 Speaker 1: up on guys that like jump I just jump the gun. 490 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:25,080 Speaker 1: But you know what, like what is life if you're 491 00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:27,320 Speaker 1: not jumping the gun? A little bit? Like if I'm 492 00:24:27,359 --> 00:24:31,640 Speaker 1: always you know, vacillating between you know, if I get 493 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,320 Speaker 1: a TV show. People get mad when I go, it's 494 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:36,240 Speaker 1: gonna get canceled, don't get too excited. People like, enjoy it, 495 00:24:36,359 --> 00:24:39,280 Speaker 1: come on, embrace it. You're here, like, and then at 496 00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:41,480 Speaker 1: the same time people go, don't get your hopes up, 497 00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:44,600 Speaker 1: So what can you do? Like, it's kind of fun 498 00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:47,679 Speaker 1: to get your hopes up sometimes, So I'll get my 499 00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:50,840 Speaker 1: hope up about another animal. But everyone's just like, it's 500 00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:53,320 Speaker 1: not meant to be right now, and there's another dog 501 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:56,720 Speaker 1: out there for you. But it's just like I wanted 502 00:24:56,760 --> 00:25:00,960 Speaker 1: that one had to hear too. Yes, no, no one 503 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,200 Speaker 1: wants to hear that, no matter what loss you're suffering, 504 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:07,560 Speaker 1: like that, I'm not that we don't want to hear it. 505 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:09,840 Speaker 1: It's not meant to be, or like there's a there's 506 00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:13,480 Speaker 1: something yeah that everything. I do believe everything kind of 507 00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:17,000 Speaker 1: happens for a purpose, not for a purpose. But I 508 00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:20,359 Speaker 1: not to quote last night's episode of the Last of Us, 509 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:24,359 Speaker 1: I don't believe that everything happens for a purpose, but 510 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:30,640 Speaker 1: I do believe that everything. I'm I'm a determinist, I guess, 511 00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:33,240 Speaker 1: so I believe that everything already is etched and stone 512 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,480 Speaker 1: the way it's going to happen, because I don't believe 513 00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:37,600 Speaker 1: in free will, So I do believe that everything happens 514 00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:40,960 Speaker 1: for a reason, which the reason is complete randomness that 515 00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:43,199 Speaker 1: is already predetermined and you have no control over it. 516 00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:46,840 Speaker 1: So just get along with the ride. And whether or 517 00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:50,520 Speaker 1: not I get attached to something or I don't is 518 00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:52,560 Speaker 1: really not up to me either. I'm not really in 519 00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:58,240 Speaker 1: control of how I feel about something, and I'll probably 520 00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:01,119 Speaker 1: let my And also, that dog is going to be 521 00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:04,320 Speaker 1: taken from me eventually, you know, like whether I lost 522 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:07,800 Speaker 1: the chance of it this week, or it dies seven 523 00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:11,680 Speaker 1: years down the road or whatever, it's eventually, I'm going 524 00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:13,480 Speaker 1: to be sad about this dog. That's what you sign 525 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:16,119 Speaker 1: up for when you love something. And that's that's the 526 00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:19,359 Speaker 1: hardest part about loving anything, is like, and I always 527 00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:23,120 Speaker 1: say this about parents, like why would you ever invite 528 00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:27,080 Speaker 1: that kind of love into your life that you're gonna 529 00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:28,879 Speaker 1: have to say goodbye to at some point, whether you 530 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:32,640 Speaker 1: die or something awful fucking happens, Like like why are 531 00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:36,600 Speaker 1: you risking that pain? Yes, the glacier is coming, but 532 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:38,720 Speaker 1: that's that's that's a glacier you can't steer around. You're 533 00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:41,360 Speaker 1: gonna die and have to say goodbye to your kid 534 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:45,200 Speaker 1: or the kid, something's something that's going to happen to them. 535 00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:50,800 Speaker 1: It's just too much. That's why I know, Well, that's 536 00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:54,320 Speaker 1: that's my fear. That's danger, man. Danger. Danger is like 537 00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:58,359 Speaker 1: having a kid loving something too much. Dog for some reason, 538 00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:01,600 Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, I can I can handle this because 539 00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:05,600 Speaker 1: I know. I mean I eat. I ate animals for 540 00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:09,800 Speaker 1: twenty six years of my life or twenty five years 541 00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:12,280 Speaker 1: of my life, whatever it was. I you know, I've 542 00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:15,360 Speaker 1: accepted animals death much more than humans, and I just 543 00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:17,280 Speaker 1: don't or kid. I don't even know when it's like 544 00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:18,639 Speaker 1: to love a kid that much. I mean I do 545 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:20,600 Speaker 1: kind of now with nieces and nephews, but not the 546 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:24,160 Speaker 1: way parents do. It's still done as strong. It's scary. 547 00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:27,400 Speaker 1: So I salute parents out there for taking the ultimate 548 00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:32,639 Speaker 1: risk of being sad a lot, but also being so happy. 549 00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:37,320 Speaker 1: So it's again, it's it's both sides. It's such a leap, 550 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,919 Speaker 1: Oh my god, take you. I mean, committing to a 551 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:43,399 Speaker 1: relationship is such a leap to whether it's with a dog, 552 00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:49,040 Speaker 1: a person having a child, anything. It's like, how long 553 00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:51,399 Speaker 1: is this going to last? No one knows. You're just 554 00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:56,720 Speaker 1: in it until it's over. Even with a relationship like relationship, 555 00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:59,360 Speaker 1: my fears are like I'm gonna want to get out 556 00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,000 Speaker 1: of this, or I picked the wrong person. There's someone 557 00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:05,080 Speaker 1: better out there for me, or and I extend that 558 00:28:05,119 --> 00:28:08,200 Speaker 1: to my partner as well, like he'll have that realization too, 559 00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:11,840 Speaker 1: Like this is not just there's some you know, everyone 560 00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:14,840 Speaker 1: I feel. I fear that feeling, and I don't know 561 00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:18,000 Speaker 1: that again, I don't know why people get married because 562 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,359 Speaker 1: I'm like, don't you always think there might be something 563 00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:22,679 Speaker 1: better or that like this person could betray you in 564 00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:26,440 Speaker 1: some way that will leave you fucking ruined forever. Like yes, 565 00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:28,480 Speaker 1: I mean, these are all things we've seen happen to 566 00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:31,680 Speaker 1: either ourselves in the past or to people that never 567 00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:34,400 Speaker 1: recover from There are people I know that lose their 568 00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:37,520 Speaker 1: husbands or get divorced or get cheated on, or husbands 569 00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:39,920 Speaker 1: that lose their wife, and they never recover, they never 570 00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:42,160 Speaker 1: open themselves up again. I just sent you a Carol 571 00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:46,080 Speaker 1: Burnette clip anya on Instagram where she's like, if I 572 00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:48,760 Speaker 1: ever get married again, I don't know. I just don't 573 00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:51,200 Speaker 1: think I would, because I like, I know what I 574 00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:52,640 Speaker 1: want to watch on TV, I know when I want 575 00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:53,760 Speaker 1: to read a book, I know when I want to 576 00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:56,200 Speaker 1: go to bed. And this is her in the eighties 577 00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:59,200 Speaker 1: talking to Joan Rivers on some show and she's like, 578 00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:01,840 Speaker 1: I guess if I ever got married again, we'd have 579 00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:05,240 Speaker 1: to have separate houses. Like she's kind of like closed 580 00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:09,160 Speaker 1: herself off too, from obviously some pain she's experienced before 581 00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:13,000 Speaker 1: or just some loss of either her freedom or autonomy, 582 00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:16,360 Speaker 1: because with every gain there's a loss. But I think 583 00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:21,680 Speaker 1: with the marriage thing, like I guess with kids, when 584 00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:26,000 Speaker 1: you have a kid, I know that parents sometimes go 585 00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:28,520 Speaker 1: what the fuck? Like they kind of look at me like, 586 00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:31,040 Speaker 1: don't do it. I've had that look before where parents 587 00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:34,880 Speaker 1: go don't. They just shake their heads kind of like 588 00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:36,520 Speaker 1: when their kids are screaming, and they look at you 589 00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:39,400 Speaker 1: like and they just quietly move their head back and 590 00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:42,160 Speaker 1: forth and give you big eyes like I want to 591 00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:46,040 Speaker 1: I hate that I did this, And I know, yeah, 592 00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:48,920 Speaker 1: it's just a little A fucking alarm goes off on 593 00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:51,600 Speaker 1: my phone that's like wait wait, wait, like there's yes, 594 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,600 Speaker 1: like a hostage too. They totally let you know in 595 00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:58,160 Speaker 1: these little ways, but you're not like there's a better 596 00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:00,640 Speaker 1: kid out there for me, Like you're not like you're 597 00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:02,760 Speaker 1: not meeting other kids being like, I guess you are. 598 00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:04,800 Speaker 1: I'm sure there are parents that see other kids and 599 00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:07,959 Speaker 1: they're like, why can't my kids act that way? But 600 00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,280 Speaker 1: I think instead of going like, man, I wish I 601 00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:12,320 Speaker 1: had that kid, they go why or what did I 602 00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:14,960 Speaker 1: do that? My kid's not good enough? My kid's not 603 00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:18,360 Speaker 1: like that. I mean, I think a healthy parent blames 604 00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:21,680 Speaker 1: themself as opposed to like, but if you're in a relationship, 605 00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:25,600 Speaker 1: you don't look at other people and go, what am 606 00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:27,920 Speaker 1: I doing wrong that that my boyfriend's not like, well, 607 00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:31,080 Speaker 1: maybe you do, like you just go I want another one. 608 00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:33,040 Speaker 1: You can't trade in a kid for You're not like 609 00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:35,080 Speaker 1: cheating on your kid. You can't cheat on your kid 610 00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:37,840 Speaker 1: or like find a better kid to replace them. But 611 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:40,160 Speaker 1: in marriages and stuff, I mean, I was saying this 612 00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:41,920 Speaker 1: weekend how I want to be a third wife, like 613 00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:45,480 Speaker 1: it would be so fun and how that's embarrassing to 614 00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:48,320 Speaker 1: some people, but I think it would be the coolest. 615 00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:51,080 Speaker 1: Because that's why I feel like with Chris, like Chris 616 00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:55,040 Speaker 1: is my like you know, I've I've I've tried a 617 00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:57,960 Speaker 1: bunch of different things on while knowing Chris, while having 618 00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,680 Speaker 1: dated Chris, I've dated other people and I keep going 619 00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:03,680 Speaker 1: back to him, so it's not like so I've chosen him. 620 00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:06,520 Speaker 1: He should feel special. And I think as a third wife, 621 00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:10,320 Speaker 1: you're like this guy, these two bitches that came before me. 622 00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:12,480 Speaker 1: He is so glad to be with someone. He's finally 623 00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:15,240 Speaker 1: figured it out, he knows himself. I think third and 624 00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:21,400 Speaker 1: second wives are the coolest. And that's to say that 625 00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,520 Speaker 1: the first wives aren't cool or the first husbands. But 626 00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:28,520 Speaker 1: I think that there's just something so romantic about figuring 627 00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:31,040 Speaker 1: it out later. I mean, you guys were both late 628 00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:32,920 Speaker 1: to the game of finding your person. You didn't find 629 00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:36,560 Speaker 1: your people in your twenties. Yeah, very late. I'm relating 630 00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:38,520 Speaker 1: to the Carol Burnette thing, Like I think if this 631 00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:42,080 Speaker 1: didn't work out with Matt, I would probably go right 632 00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:45,400 Speaker 1: back to being doing what I was before. I enjoyed 633 00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:48,200 Speaker 1: being single and living alone so much. But then I 634 00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:51,000 Speaker 1: have a fear like maybe I only enjoyed that because 635 00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:53,840 Speaker 1: I was living in New York City. You were always nearby, 636 00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,160 Speaker 1: or I always had a lot of friends nearby. But 637 00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:58,040 Speaker 1: you did just do that old, and I don't how 638 00:31:58,080 --> 00:32:00,959 Speaker 1: do you find friends when you're old. I think you 639 00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:05,440 Speaker 1: have places to go, like you we be you know. 640 00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:09,800 Speaker 1: Let me just say, if I can only speak for myself, 641 00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:12,280 Speaker 1: if I ever found myself in a position where I 642 00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:15,320 Speaker 1: didn't have friends or a sense of family or like 643 00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:19,160 Speaker 1: loved ones, I would get into an AA program, a 644 00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:21,600 Speaker 1: twelve step program that suits me, because there's one out 645 00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:25,440 Speaker 1: there for everyone, no matter what you're struggling with addiction. Yeah, 646 00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:27,480 Speaker 1: Or I would do meet up groups, or I would 647 00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:31,400 Speaker 1: you know, today I had a voice lesson, I would 648 00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:34,200 Speaker 1: just take start taking lessons that introduces you to your 649 00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:37,400 Speaker 1: teacher and then other students, or like take just throw 650 00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:40,160 Speaker 1: yourself into something. There's always ways to make friends. It 651 00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:42,240 Speaker 1: gets harder when you become immobile and you're like in 652 00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:44,440 Speaker 1: a nursing home or whatever. But even then, like hopefully 653 00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:46,800 Speaker 1: you're in a social nursing home or you have friends there. 654 00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:50,800 Speaker 1: But today I was on my um my voice lesson 655 00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:53,400 Speaker 1: at eight in the morning my time, it's even ten 656 00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:55,840 Speaker 1: am in St. Louis is always so fucking early for me. 657 00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:58,520 Speaker 1: So waking up at like seven thirty and being like Chris, 658 00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:00,760 Speaker 1: I've just sing and like going over here and grabbing 659 00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:03,720 Speaker 1: the mic and being like, Hi, Michael, I love my 660 00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:09,680 Speaker 1: voice coach so much. I just like I've never felt this, Well, 661 00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:12,000 Speaker 1: it's not I haven't I have felt this way about 662 00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:14,520 Speaker 1: there's sometimes when you have a coach, like I guess 663 00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:17,320 Speaker 1: I've never had coaches before. No, you have coaches with 664 00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:21,400 Speaker 1: jiu jitsu. Have you ever felt like this extreme attachment 665 00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:26,720 Speaker 1: to I need coaches is something that I learned from 666 00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:30,560 Speaker 1: my guitar teacher years ago, and then it gets it 667 00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:33,800 Speaker 1: got reinforced through jiu jitsu that I need a positive 668 00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:39,080 Speaker 1: mentor in my life. Mentors, yes, I think with comedy, 669 00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:41,400 Speaker 1: I never had that, or like there's been little ones 670 00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:43,520 Speaker 1: here and there. There's certainly been comedians that have helped 671 00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:46,240 Speaker 1: me along the way, but someone who was like invested 672 00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:49,720 Speaker 1: in you getting better and you work towards that together. 673 00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:52,200 Speaker 1: I mean, it's kind of like a therapist relationship. Any 674 00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:54,960 Speaker 1: do you do you relate to like loving coach like 675 00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:58,120 Speaker 1: you were in ice skating like figure skating, sorry to 676 00:33:58,120 --> 00:34:01,600 Speaker 1: call it skate coach for seven years and she was 677 00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:04,120 Speaker 1: like my mom in a way, Like I remember I 678 00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:07,120 Speaker 1: had an ice skating competition and she bought me this 679 00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:10,400 Speaker 1: amazing like frilly dress, and I like won the competent 680 00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:13,360 Speaker 1: or I got whatever second place or something. But my 681 00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:15,520 Speaker 1: parents never would have bought me this dress. It was 682 00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:19,680 Speaker 1: like a very cutesy, tootsy like Strawberry Shortcake like. It 683 00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:22,319 Speaker 1: was probably seventy dollars dress, you know, and in the 684 00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:25,239 Speaker 1: eighties that was a lot. I mean that's a three 685 00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:30,000 Speaker 1: million dollars dress. Yeah. My parents were even like, why 686 00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:32,600 Speaker 1: we could just make you one out of these ranks. 687 00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:37,000 Speaker 1: We just got the potato saxon. Um. But yeah, she 688 00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:40,320 Speaker 1: was very strict but very loving and um, I didn't 689 00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:43,440 Speaker 1: have that in my life ever. So loving like you 690 00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:47,040 Speaker 1: respected her, whereas you don't respect your parents that much, 691 00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:50,359 Speaker 1: like no offense mom and dad, But like I did, 692 00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:53,839 Speaker 1: I'm realized I didn't respect them. I respect them now. 693 00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:56,000 Speaker 1: I know they had their own feelings and wants and 694 00:34:56,080 --> 00:35:00,520 Speaker 1: needs and like fears and but as a kid, Shellfish 695 00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:04,279 Speaker 1: didn't care they were mean. I didn't they told me something. 696 00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:07,960 Speaker 1: I wasn't scared of them. I just you know, because 697 00:35:08,719 --> 00:35:10,480 Speaker 1: it's not like they were my friend either, But I 698 00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:12,600 Speaker 1: just was never if they got mad at me. There 699 00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:15,200 Speaker 1: was maybe a couple times where I was like WHOA, okay, 700 00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:16,719 Speaker 1: like I have to be. But I was a good girl, 701 00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:19,279 Speaker 1: like it was always good. I didn't, you know, ever 702 00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:24,080 Speaker 1: get into trouble. But I respect my teacher so much 703 00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:25,799 Speaker 1: and I want to do good by him. And he 704 00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:28,520 Speaker 1: also makes me believe in myself when I feel like 705 00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:32,799 Speaker 1: I've had a string of vocal teachers that just you 706 00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:35,680 Speaker 1: know something, a good teacher is like hard to find. 707 00:35:35,719 --> 00:35:38,680 Speaker 1: And we spend half of our lesson not talking about 708 00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:40,640 Speaker 1: singing at all, Like, well, He'll just be telling me 709 00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:43,799 Speaker 1: stories about fly fishing, and I'm like captivated, Like I 710 00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:47,200 Speaker 1: just love the way he talks. I love the way 711 00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:49,640 Speaker 1: like and he just has so much to share, so 712 00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:51,960 Speaker 1: much wisdom. He's in his sixties, Like he has just 713 00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:55,600 Speaker 1: an interesting life. He's an artist, and truly every one 714 00:35:55,640 --> 00:35:58,040 Speaker 1: of his stories like relates back to something I can 715 00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:02,800 Speaker 1: use with my like vocal technique of like relaxation, accepting 716 00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:07,719 Speaker 1: who you are, finding your true voice figuratively literally all 717 00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:13,880 Speaker 1: those things. But he got the fly fishing related where 718 00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:16,719 Speaker 1: he um, oh, well, I'll tell you exactly. This is 719 00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:19,239 Speaker 1: so interesting because we were talking about his sickness. He 720 00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:22,239 Speaker 1: got sick last week. He had a foot problem and 721 00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:24,840 Speaker 1: he was in the emergency room, like really bad or 722 00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:26,880 Speaker 1: lessons were canceled. It was really sad. And he's a 723 00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:29,239 Speaker 1: very diligent like we don't miss a lesson kind of thing. 724 00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:31,000 Speaker 1: And so I knew it was a big deal, and 725 00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:32,319 Speaker 1: I was checking in on him all week, and I 726 00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:34,239 Speaker 1: was compelled to, Like I was just like thinking about 727 00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:36,319 Speaker 1: him a lot and being like, please don't die, I 728 00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:37,879 Speaker 1: please don't lose a foot, Like I just don't want 729 00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:39,279 Speaker 1: this man to be in pain. It was almost like 730 00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:41,760 Speaker 1: the way I feel about TikTok, Like I'm just like TikTok. 731 00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:45,359 Speaker 1: I'm just like I want him to be happy and um. 732 00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:48,719 Speaker 1: And so then I was asking him about it today 733 00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:50,799 Speaker 1: and he was talking about another time he injured his foot. 734 00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:52,720 Speaker 1: He was fly fishing and he got his foot stuck 735 00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:56,920 Speaker 1: in a beaver dam and the water was like really 736 00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:59,319 Speaker 1: like up to his fucking chest and it was really 737 00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:00,879 Speaker 1: a bad situation and like if it would have gotten 738 00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:03,160 Speaker 1: into his like like he had protection up to his chest, 739 00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:06,120 Speaker 1: but if it would have started filling up his wet suit, 740 00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:08,560 Speaker 1: he would have drowned. And his friend was laughing and 741 00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:10,400 Speaker 1: he was like, stop laughing. And at one point he 742 00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:13,319 Speaker 1: like moved some branches and the beaver dam fell and 743 00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:16,360 Speaker 1: he heard he heard a crack in his toes, like 744 00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:19,080 Speaker 1: he broke his toe. Okay, sorry to trigger warning. And 745 00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:21,840 Speaker 1: he felt he heard I go, you felt the crack, 746 00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:23,080 Speaker 1: like I thought it was a branch. He was like, 747 00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:24,920 Speaker 1: I thought it was a branch at first, because I 748 00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:28,239 Speaker 1: heard a snap reverberate through my body. And what I 749 00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:31,000 Speaker 1: learned was how that relates to the voice, is that 750 00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:35,959 Speaker 1: your your voice, your body is an amplifier. Like it's 751 00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:39,600 Speaker 1: sound as vibrations. So he heard this thing that happened 752 00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:43,000 Speaker 1: underwater six feet below him. He's a tall guy. He 753 00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:45,279 Speaker 1: heard it go up through his body into his head 754 00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:47,200 Speaker 1: reverberate in his head. So that's how it relates to 755 00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:51,160 Speaker 1: the voice, is like and the sense of panic. And 756 00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:54,680 Speaker 1: there was another thing that related, like and staying calm 757 00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:58,560 Speaker 1: in the moment. I mean, so much of singing is 758 00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:07,520 Speaker 1: like about relaxation and about like resonance and tapping into 759 00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:09,560 Speaker 1: you know, I just wrote something down what did you 760 00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:11,680 Speaker 1: say today That I was like, Okay, that's the mantra 761 00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:18,800 Speaker 1: that I have to remember. Nothing open, relax nothing open relax. 762 00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:22,680 Speaker 1: That's like always what I should say to myself. There's nothing, 763 00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:27,560 Speaker 1: your throat is doing nothing, Your everything's open. You're relaxed, 764 00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:30,719 Speaker 1: like and you know I've said this before, but every 765 00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:32,879 Speaker 1: time singers sing it always looks like they're trying so hard, 766 00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:35,839 Speaker 1: but that's performative because singers are trying to make you 767 00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:39,919 Speaker 1: feel dumb about yourself. The best singers aren't doing any work. 768 00:38:40,040 --> 00:38:42,160 Speaker 1: That's why I love Kelly Clarkson. She never looks like 769 00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:45,440 Speaker 1: she's working. But all singers that are really good and 770 00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:48,560 Speaker 1: technically proficient, none of them are trying. None of them 771 00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:51,720 Speaker 1: should ever be going like like like, and you should 772 00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:54,360 Speaker 1: never see strain. If they're doing that, they're doing it 773 00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:57,560 Speaker 1: so that it looks impressive to people, because if they 774 00:38:57,560 --> 00:38:59,799 Speaker 1: didn't do it, people would just go like, Wow, she's 775 00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:03,880 Speaker 1: obviously not working that hard. And it's sometimes in comedy. 776 00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:07,040 Speaker 1: I do that, like I will have a bit that 777 00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:10,320 Speaker 1: I will know perfectly. But if I get into a repetition, 778 00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:11,480 Speaker 1: if I talk like this and I go like this, 779 00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:14,920 Speaker 1: if I just told that joke normally, it wouldn't get 780 00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:16,480 Speaker 1: the same. You wouldn't be as amazed as if I 781 00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:20,080 Speaker 1: went really fascinous like and then everyone goes, oh my gosh, 782 00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:22,839 Speaker 1: he hasn't memorized. There's things you can do that make 783 00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:26,600 Speaker 1: people who are layman, people who aren't proficient in the 784 00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:28,960 Speaker 1: thing that you do be very impressed and you do 785 00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:31,880 Speaker 1: agree with that with singing that yeah, there's well I 786 00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:34,759 Speaker 1: think also there's a third option you forgot, which is 787 00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:38,200 Speaker 1: if you're not trained and you are straining not to 788 00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:40,520 Speaker 1: try to look cool, but you're straining because you're trying 789 00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:42,480 Speaker 1: to get to that note and you don't know anybody. Yes, 790 00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:44,480 Speaker 1: well that's what I said. If you're not this is 791 00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:47,359 Speaker 1: only for like the best singers, if they ever If 792 00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:51,120 Speaker 1: Ariana Grande looks like she's trying, it's performative because there's 793 00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:54,360 Speaker 1: no way that's right. Because he has another mantra that 794 00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:59,399 Speaker 1: singing is easy if it's easy, like it's it's it's 795 00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:02,160 Speaker 1: it's easy. If it's easy, like if it feels easy, 796 00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:05,919 Speaker 1: it's because it is easy. If you're if it looks hard, 797 00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,080 Speaker 1: it's because it is hard, and you shouldn't be doing that. 798 00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:13,160 Speaker 1: So it's always you should never be sure. Yeah, I 799 00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:15,600 Speaker 1: mean a little bit, because that's what it's about. Like 800 00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:18,960 Speaker 1: the second I stopped being like you either are or 801 00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:21,440 Speaker 1: you aren't, the second that you just go it's in 802 00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:23,960 Speaker 1: all of us and there's this like thing you have 803 00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:26,759 Speaker 1: to tap into. It opens up a word world of 804 00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:29,239 Speaker 1: possibility as opposed to like you just don't have it, 805 00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:32,880 Speaker 1: which is the first voice lesson note I ever got. 806 00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:36,000 Speaker 1: She doesn't have it, like you're either born with it 807 00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:40,200 Speaker 1: or you legs my fucking Sheila Dugan two thousand that 808 00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:44,600 Speaker 1: she's a voice teacher that um I had because I 809 00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:47,320 Speaker 1: was in acapella in high school. I was an alto, 810 00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:50,680 Speaker 1: which no, everyone hated the altos because you know, just 811 00:40:50,719 --> 00:40:52,680 Speaker 1: don't get as much love because you're just don't not 812 00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:55,920 Speaker 1: a mezzo soprano or a you know whatever the other 813 00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:58,440 Speaker 1: soprano is called. That is like every girl wants to 814 00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:00,239 Speaker 1: be a soprano because it means you're a girl girl 815 00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:03,439 Speaker 1: and you can sing like Cinderella, but no one wants 816 00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:06,080 Speaker 1: to be like the sultry alto. And so we just 817 00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:10,800 Speaker 1: got no respect, like no attention from Flash, our music director. 818 00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:14,640 Speaker 1: Her name was Karen Flasher, but we called her. Everyone 819 00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:17,799 Speaker 1: called a Flash, and oh god, everyone was sycophanic about her, 820 00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:19,319 Speaker 1: just wanting her to like us so much. She was 821 00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:22,000 Speaker 1: such a bully, just like would give her attention to 822 00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,279 Speaker 1: certain students, and then one day she'd signed the line 823 00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:25,759 Speaker 1: on you and then she pulled away the next day 824 00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:29,000 Speaker 1: and it was like so political, But I was trying 825 00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:32,240 Speaker 1: to be better, and so everyone in Acapella would always 826 00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:34,280 Speaker 1: go to this Sheila Dugan, like all the best singers, 827 00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:36,399 Speaker 1: and so I went to Sheila Dugan and I would 828 00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:39,759 Speaker 1: go to her every Saturday in the morning. And then 829 00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:43,880 Speaker 1: eventually my mom had she got a call from Sheila 830 00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:46,799 Speaker 1: or something, and I remember it was fifty dollars a lesson. 831 00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:48,759 Speaker 1: We'd have to drive out to Chesterfield, so it wasn't cheap. 832 00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:50,800 Speaker 1: This is like two thousand fiftela is a lesson for 833 00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:53,560 Speaker 1: an hour is a lot back then even now, And 834 00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:58,879 Speaker 1: she told my mom this isn't gonna be her thing, 835 00:41:59,160 --> 00:42:02,399 Speaker 1: like this is gonna work for her. Whereas if I 836 00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:05,680 Speaker 1: would have had Michael Rocchio back then, he could have 837 00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:08,680 Speaker 1: probably made me believe in myself. I probably would have 838 00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:11,080 Speaker 1: had a little bit of a career in musical theater, 839 00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:15,480 Speaker 1: because that is obviously there's totally I'll tell roles. And 840 00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:18,640 Speaker 1: I did have a soprano ability. I just couldn't tap 841 00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:21,799 Speaker 1: into it because I was so fucking in my brain. 842 00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:24,680 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm an old grizzly husky woman. I'll never 843 00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:27,640 Speaker 1: have a pretty voice, even though it was it always there. 844 00:42:27,680 --> 00:42:29,960 Speaker 1: I listened to my high school voice I'm like, I 845 00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:32,520 Speaker 1: so was this. I could have been a soprano. I 846 00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:35,000 Speaker 1: just didn't know how to do it because it's some 847 00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:38,880 Speaker 1: high notes. Yeah, but every any person who doesn't have 848 00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:41,839 Speaker 1: a significant damage, which I've had mine removed, can hit 849 00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:44,239 Speaker 1: high notes. It's in you to do it. You just 850 00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:45,880 Speaker 1: have to know how. You have to know how to 851 00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:49,120 Speaker 1: work your trumpet. Some people are just born with it, 852 00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:51,960 Speaker 1: knowing that that is something you're born with, but you 853 00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:55,200 Speaker 1: can learn it. So anyway, today on the call with him, 854 00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:57,720 Speaker 1: at the end or at the end of our session, 855 00:42:58,160 --> 00:43:01,560 Speaker 1: I was like, I'm so glad you're feeling better. I 856 00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:04,880 Speaker 1: was like, I really just like care about you, and 857 00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:07,200 Speaker 1: like I'm just so concerned about your health. And like 858 00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:09,080 Speaker 1: I was like, because I really have not felt that 859 00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:12,040 Speaker 1: way before, except with like a parent maybe of like 860 00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:14,239 Speaker 1: checking in on someone who's older and being like I 861 00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:16,360 Speaker 1: hate that he's hurting. I've only known this man since 862 00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:20,560 Speaker 1: late January, I think is when I started and and 863 00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:23,479 Speaker 1: I like started getting that he started tearing up because 864 00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:25,319 Speaker 1: I was like, you're a really special person and the 865 00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:28,239 Speaker 1: fact that you being healthy means that you impact so 866 00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:32,480 Speaker 1: many people. And I he was, you know, he like 867 00:43:32,560 --> 00:43:34,759 Speaker 1: witnessed a car crash. I think I told you guys 868 00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:37,960 Speaker 1: about that, and he went over to like help the 869 00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:39,920 Speaker 1: the mailman that got hit, and I was like, I 870 00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:42,520 Speaker 1: was thinking of how lucky that mailman was that Michael 871 00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:45,560 Speaker 1: Rocchio like rode up and it wasn't just any me, 872 00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:48,200 Speaker 1: even because you know, I would have driven around it, 873 00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:51,480 Speaker 1: but like the fact that that mailman got calmed by 874 00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:57,840 Speaker 1: like your calming presence. You're like just soothing demeanor. I 875 00:43:57,920 --> 00:43:59,640 Speaker 1: was like, that was like the luckiest thing that could 876 00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:01,439 Speaker 1: have happened into that guy. And he was like, I'm 877 00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:03,120 Speaker 1: I have to get off the call. I'm gonna start crying. 878 00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:05,120 Speaker 1: But I just got like it was so weird to 879 00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:08,800 Speaker 1: get like so emotional. But I was like, I just really, 880 00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:11,360 Speaker 1: it's nice to just again, it's nice to care, and 881 00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:14,880 Speaker 1: it's nice to admit that you care and to you 882 00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:17,400 Speaker 1: said it to him, because who knows how many people 883 00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:21,160 Speaker 1: have and so often we think of things we love 884 00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:27,000 Speaker 1: about people, but we don't get to express it, like yeah, 885 00:44:27,239 --> 00:44:29,919 Speaker 1: it's like you say, Nikki that like a lot of 886 00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:34,040 Speaker 1: people in entertainment, their fans assume that they hear it 887 00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:37,520 Speaker 1: all the time. Yeah, but you know, for someone who's 888 00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:40,319 Speaker 1: kind of like behind the scenes and who's you know, 889 00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:43,280 Speaker 1: like an instructor or a vocal teacher. To hear that back, 890 00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:47,719 Speaker 1: you know, is touching. Yeah, he got choked up and 891 00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:51,400 Speaker 1: he said he was like, oh my god, really like 892 00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:53,879 Speaker 1: oh he was so sweet. He was like, I mean, 893 00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:56,120 Speaker 1: you just made my day like it was And I 894 00:44:56,160 --> 00:44:58,120 Speaker 1: wouldn't have expected what I said. I was just like, 895 00:44:58,120 --> 00:44:59,759 Speaker 1: I just wouldn't need you, need you to know you're 896 00:44:59,840 --> 00:45:02,440 Speaker 1: very important to me, and like I can only imagine 897 00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:05,320 Speaker 1: so many other people. I mean, has dozens of students, 898 00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:07,560 Speaker 1: And I was like, if I've only known you a 899 00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:09,840 Speaker 1: month and a half or whatever, and you mean this 900 00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:13,480 Speaker 1: much to me, like please like keep living and even 901 00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:15,440 Speaker 1: if you don't want to, you don't like you, whatever's 902 00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:17,480 Speaker 1: gonna happen, it's gonna happen. But I'm just like, you 903 00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:19,520 Speaker 1: just mean so much. You're a very special person. And 904 00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:21,480 Speaker 1: he was just like, and I just don't think men 905 00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:23,680 Speaker 1: hear it that much, you know. I think women are 906 00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:28,400 Speaker 1: more likely to maybe receive that kind of thing because 907 00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:31,000 Speaker 1: we're emotional people and people are more apt to give 908 00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:33,920 Speaker 1: it to us. But if this is a reminder to 909 00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:37,720 Speaker 1: anyone to like, you know, those videos where on TikTok 910 00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:44,560 Speaker 1: to TikTok getting white talks and tik taks confused. So 911 00:45:45,440 --> 00:45:48,640 Speaker 1: on TikTok there's sometimes videos I haven't I'm not on TikTok, 912 00:45:48,680 --> 00:45:51,279 Speaker 1: but you know and read it. They'll show up where 913 00:45:51,320 --> 00:45:53,600 Speaker 1: it's like a guy in a mall and he's going 914 00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:55,759 Speaker 1: up to kids and he's like, do you want to 915 00:45:55,760 --> 00:45:57,520 Speaker 1: call your dad and like tell him you would you 916 00:45:57,560 --> 00:45:58,880 Speaker 1: call your dad and tell him you loved him, like 917 00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:00,920 Speaker 1: right now or that like you him or something. And 918 00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:03,239 Speaker 1: you hear these like dad's being like, hey, what's up, son, 919 00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:04,719 Speaker 1: You need to get picked up, and he's like, no, 920 00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:06,160 Speaker 1: I just want to say like I love you, and 921 00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:07,440 Speaker 1: like I don't say it enough and I just like 922 00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:11,319 Speaker 1: appreciate you, and and the dad's like, okay, son, all right, 923 00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:15,280 Speaker 1: well I love you too. Like it is so fucking 924 00:46:15,520 --> 00:46:19,640 Speaker 1: sweet if you can muster it, it's so it's I 925 00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:21,960 Speaker 1: didn't plan on having like this emotional moment at the 926 00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:23,840 Speaker 1: end of my session, but it really felt good. And 927 00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:26,239 Speaker 1: as soon as I like was like finding the leave 928 00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:28,040 Speaker 1: meeting button as soon as I could, because I was like, 929 00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:31,320 Speaker 1: I'm about to cry. But it was also interesting because 930 00:46:31,600 --> 00:46:36,080 Speaker 1: he goes, I'm about to cry, and literally five minutes beforehand, 931 00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:38,920 Speaker 1: we were trying to access my best voice, and it's 932 00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:41,239 Speaker 1: usually like it's like in this comfort zone of when 933 00:46:41,280 --> 00:46:44,160 Speaker 1: you're like about to cry, like this is when like 934 00:46:44,920 --> 00:46:47,880 Speaker 1: your nasal passages like open up, and it's more resident 935 00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:52,879 Speaker 1: like like this, it sounds like my oppression of like men, 936 00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:56,480 Speaker 1: you know what, I'm like, Oh, like when I'm being 937 00:46:56,520 --> 00:46:58,880 Speaker 1: really catty about something a man said that hurt me, 938 00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:03,000 Speaker 1: like og, and like this is the voice you're supposed 939 00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:05,359 Speaker 1: to use to like be resonant, and I can't tap 940 00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:07,399 Speaker 1: into it because it feels like I'm doing a dumb 941 00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:10,120 Speaker 1: oppression of a dumb guy and it just doesn't make 942 00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:12,400 Speaker 1: me think of music. But he was like, oh, just 943 00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:15,200 Speaker 1: do it, um, like you're about to cry, like when 944 00:47:15,239 --> 00:47:17,719 Speaker 1: you're like like just like kind of like this like 945 00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:19,719 Speaker 1: on the verge of it. And then we both ended 946 00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:21,040 Speaker 1: the lesson on the verge of it, and I'm like, 947 00:47:21,080 --> 00:47:23,520 Speaker 1: now we're ready to sing, like let's get that happened 948 00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:26,719 Speaker 1: to that? Um, let's take a quick break and then 949 00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:33,359 Speaker 1: we're gonna come back with Reddit dumb. All right, we're back. 950 00:47:33,480 --> 00:47:38,120 Speaker 1: Let's spread it, dumb Baby karaoke mode. This is your 951 00:47:38,320 --> 00:47:43,640 Speaker 1: Reddit dumb who hoo hoo. Okay, um, all right, this 952 00:47:43,719 --> 00:47:46,040 Speaker 1: is from ask Reddit, and this is just a question. 953 00:47:46,080 --> 00:47:48,400 Speaker 1: It says, how old are you and what's your biggest 954 00:47:48,440 --> 00:47:52,200 Speaker 1: problem right now? Now? These are just so interesting because 955 00:47:52,239 --> 00:47:54,440 Speaker 1: it's just like people on the things that get up 956 00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:56,840 Speaker 1: voted on Reddit are always the most interesting kind of 957 00:47:56,840 --> 00:48:00,400 Speaker 1: like tragic or just like fascinating things. So this is 958 00:48:00,440 --> 00:48:03,480 Speaker 1: just average people and they are just they write eloquently, 959 00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:06,399 Speaker 1: and I just liked some of these answers, someone said, 960 00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:08,719 Speaker 1: and sometimes they're just so sad. So um, this is 961 00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:10,600 Speaker 1: how old are you? How old are you? And what's 962 00:48:10,600 --> 00:48:13,000 Speaker 1: your biggest problem right now? I couldn't have opened this 963 00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:16,360 Speaker 1: thread quit sooner because I just love hearing random people stories. 964 00:48:17,320 --> 00:48:20,760 Speaker 1: First one was fifty five, live alone, work one hundred 965 00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:23,000 Speaker 1: percent from home and have no friends and family. Shit, 966 00:48:23,120 --> 00:48:26,920 Speaker 1: be lonely. Oh God that I know these are? Are 967 00:48:26,960 --> 00:48:30,239 Speaker 1: these interesting or just depressing to you? This one's just 968 00:48:30,280 --> 00:48:33,239 Speaker 1: like what I was just thinking about. I'm forty and 969 00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:38,120 Speaker 1: my mom died yesterday. Um, someone just said, um, sixty two, 970 00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:40,319 Speaker 1: my husband died suddenly on January second. Now I have 971 00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:42,120 Speaker 1: to figure out where my life is going. Okay, these 972 00:48:42,160 --> 00:48:44,040 Speaker 1: are much more depressing than they were last night when 973 00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:46,120 Speaker 1: I saved this, they were much more interesting. The up 974 00:48:46,160 --> 00:48:48,880 Speaker 1: votes have changed now they're all sad. Do you remember 975 00:48:48,920 --> 00:48:53,279 Speaker 1: any of the things? Oh yes, um, oh my god, 976 00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:56,120 Speaker 1: that's another one that's really said. Oh my gosh. This 977 00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:59,560 Speaker 1: is like Nikki was reading us the Cheshire House Invasion 978 00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:02,520 Speaker 1: murder for like twenty minutes on tour. It was on 979 00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:04,440 Speaker 1: twenty minutes. There's no way it was twenty minutes. It 980 00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:11,359 Speaker 1: was five minutes. Well, I realized, like Matt is very 981 00:49:11,520 --> 00:49:15,359 Speaker 1: sensitive to like, I can't watch violence, but I can 982 00:49:15,400 --> 00:49:17,960 Speaker 1: read about it. It's so fascinating to read about. If 983 00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:20,080 Speaker 1: you want to get into some grizzly one of the 984 00:49:20,080 --> 00:49:25,120 Speaker 1: most upsetting violent murders, Cheshire murders, I mean, just google that. 985 00:49:25,400 --> 00:49:28,680 Speaker 1: But until then, let's read about this seventy eight and 986 00:49:29,280 --> 00:49:31,759 Speaker 1: seventy eight and knowing I am terminal, I can handle it, 987 00:49:31,800 --> 00:49:33,920 Speaker 1: but everyone else is in denial. I'm hearing lots of 988 00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:37,960 Speaker 1: After all, doctors don't know everything, do they know? They don't, 989 00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:39,920 Speaker 1: but they do know. The five year survival rate is 990 00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:42,560 Speaker 1: one percent. Now let's say all that together, boys and girls, 991 00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:46,400 Speaker 1: The five year survival rate is one percent, So one 992 00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:49,040 Speaker 1: said I'm sixty. This one broke my heart. My biggest 993 00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:51,239 Speaker 1: problem is having to I'm sixty. My biggest problem is 994 00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:53,400 Speaker 1: having to work fifty or sixty hours a week just 995 00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:55,600 Speaker 1: to keep up with bills. Plus I have a bedridden 996 00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:58,040 Speaker 1: wife with cancer, and we're raising our oldest grandson. As 997 00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:01,080 Speaker 1: Sergeant Murta once said, I'm and too old for this shit. 998 00:50:02,440 --> 00:50:04,720 Speaker 1: This other person said thirty seven and I'm going blind. 999 00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:06,279 Speaker 1: I don't know how long it will take when I 1000 00:50:06,280 --> 00:50:08,200 Speaker 1: will be legally blind and unable to live my life 1001 00:50:08,200 --> 00:50:10,400 Speaker 1: with the richness, independence, is everything else I expected, But 1002 00:50:10,440 --> 00:50:14,600 Speaker 1: it's coming. Okay. I only say this because I doubt 1003 00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:18,440 Speaker 1: I doubt even one percent of our listeners have anything 1004 00:50:18,480 --> 00:50:20,160 Speaker 1: as sad as any of the things I just read 1005 00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:21,920 Speaker 1: going on in their life. So if this isn't you, 1006 00:50:22,960 --> 00:50:25,160 Speaker 1: let's just be honest. It all will be us. Eventually, 1007 00:50:25,239 --> 00:50:28,120 Speaker 1: we will get old, we will be dying, illness happens, 1008 00:50:28,160 --> 00:50:30,640 Speaker 1: we'll lose our loved ones. But it's not happening today. 1009 00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:34,600 Speaker 1: So let's turn this into something positive, which is like, 1010 00:50:35,040 --> 00:50:37,880 Speaker 1: just be grateful for what you have, because people are 1011 00:50:37,880 --> 00:50:42,959 Speaker 1: fucking going through it. Someone said, seventy four and don't 1012 00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:45,880 Speaker 1: really have any problems other than knowing my time is limited. 1013 00:50:46,120 --> 00:50:53,319 Speaker 1: Don't buy any green bananas? Wait? Why because green? Because 1014 00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:56,440 Speaker 1: they might not ripen in time? Not much time left? 1015 00:50:56,640 --> 00:50:58,799 Speaker 1: What would I do? I eat them when they're a 1016 00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:01,799 Speaker 1: little green. I like like that you like them like 1017 00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:05,040 Speaker 1: raw or like herd of raw? Yeah? Like I don't 1018 00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:08,600 Speaker 1: like them too sweet? Oh. I like when they like 1019 00:51:08,640 --> 00:51:10,799 Speaker 1: have bruises, Like when people are like, I'm not eating 1020 00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:12,880 Speaker 1: that banana because it's bruised, I'm like, those are the 1021 00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:16,480 Speaker 1: most delicious sweet parts. Yeah. So you don't like sweetness, 1022 00:51:16,560 --> 00:51:19,160 Speaker 1: do you know? Uh No, I'm not a sugar gal. 1023 00:51:19,560 --> 00:51:23,279 Speaker 1: It depends. I don't always turn it down. Um, if 1024 00:51:23,320 --> 00:51:26,080 Speaker 1: you have to have sugar, what do you have? Like 1025 00:51:26,120 --> 00:51:29,880 Speaker 1: if you if someone's forcing it on you, probably something 1026 00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:34,000 Speaker 1: like a fruit snack like gushers or some fruits. Wait, 1027 00:51:34,040 --> 00:51:38,160 Speaker 1: of anything you could see like a gusher or like 1028 00:51:38,200 --> 00:51:40,279 Speaker 1: a shark bites. Like what are we talking? What kind 1029 00:51:40,280 --> 00:51:46,880 Speaker 1: of fruit snack? Fruit leather gushers? Um? Yeah, just like 1030 00:51:46,920 --> 00:51:55,400 Speaker 1: so because they're that is so wild to me to 1031 00:51:55,520 --> 00:51:58,080 Speaker 1: not be someone. I mean, I definitely go through phases 1032 00:51:58,120 --> 00:52:01,920 Speaker 1: of loving sweets and loving salty, Like I find that 1033 00:52:02,719 --> 00:52:05,319 Speaker 1: something recently that has been really helping me with like 1034 00:52:05,960 --> 00:52:09,400 Speaker 1: my cravings and helping me embrace like foods that I 1035 00:52:09,440 --> 00:52:11,920 Speaker 1: would normally eat because I have like, you know, weird 1036 00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:14,720 Speaker 1: history of eating disorder stuff, so I can get locked 1037 00:52:14,760 --> 00:52:18,120 Speaker 1: into like just liking a certain thing or shutting certain 1038 00:52:18,160 --> 00:52:20,359 Speaker 1: foods out, like I can't have those because I can't 1039 00:52:20,360 --> 00:52:22,440 Speaker 1: control myself around them, or at least I think that. 1040 00:52:22,520 --> 00:52:24,719 Speaker 1: And some people definitely have those problems, but I think 1041 00:52:24,760 --> 00:52:28,480 Speaker 1: mine are mostly mental. I'm obsessed with this ASM artist 1042 00:52:29,480 --> 00:52:36,480 Speaker 1: ASMR artist, a smartist names Uh wait, what's her name? 1043 00:52:38,600 --> 00:52:40,680 Speaker 1: Hold on, let me just look it up because I 1044 00:52:40,719 --> 00:52:51,040 Speaker 1: am her name is is her names? Mary eats a 1045 00:52:51,160 --> 00:52:54,200 Speaker 1: s m e r. I eats a s m e 1046 00:52:54,560 --> 00:53:00,000 Speaker 1: r I eats as as Mary eats, and she is um. 1047 00:53:00,640 --> 00:53:04,800 Speaker 1: She's this like Greek girl who lives in Athens. And 1048 00:53:05,200 --> 00:53:07,400 Speaker 1: I like hearing people eat. It makes me feel calm, 1049 00:53:07,520 --> 00:53:09,200 Speaker 1: Like that's something I want to listen to when I'm 1050 00:53:09,239 --> 00:53:10,840 Speaker 1: like drifting off to sleep. I know that some people's 1051 00:53:10,920 --> 00:53:16,279 Speaker 1: like worst fucking nightmare not alone, because this girl has like, yes, 1052 00:53:16,400 --> 00:53:18,960 Speaker 1: musophony if you have it for eating stuff, because I 1053 00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:21,359 Speaker 1: do have it for some things, like if someone has 1054 00:53:21,400 --> 00:53:23,520 Speaker 1: to wet of a mouth or to drive a mouth, 1055 00:53:23,560 --> 00:53:27,279 Speaker 1: and it's like like when they talk, it's disgusting and 1056 00:53:27,280 --> 00:53:29,839 Speaker 1: I want to like fucking throw my phone. But for 1057 00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:32,640 Speaker 1: some reason, this girl eats with her mouth clothes. She 1058 00:53:32,800 --> 00:53:34,960 Speaker 1: takes huge bites. I watch her on two times of 1059 00:53:35,040 --> 00:53:37,279 Speaker 1: speed because then she's eating as fast as I eat, 1060 00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:40,040 Speaker 1: and so it's soothing to me. But I like the 1061 00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:43,360 Speaker 1: sound of someone eating because it reminds me that they're like, Oh, 1062 00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:45,440 Speaker 1: I like sleeping. I can only sleep when I know 1063 00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:48,360 Speaker 1: people are like outdoing things like I don't like sleeping 1064 00:53:48,360 --> 00:53:51,080 Speaker 1: when the world is asleep. I like sleeping knowing like 1065 00:53:51,640 --> 00:53:54,359 Speaker 1: people are up and like things are happening. Like then 1066 00:53:54,400 --> 00:53:57,320 Speaker 1: I can sleep because like the village is protected. I 1067 00:53:57,360 --> 00:54:00,560 Speaker 1: guess it's something instinctual of like if at night that 1068 00:54:00,800 --> 00:54:02,680 Speaker 1: we could be attacked, and I'm always going to be 1069 00:54:02,680 --> 00:54:06,200 Speaker 1: on edge, but if I know that everyone is it's 1070 00:54:06,200 --> 00:54:08,400 Speaker 1: a you know, busy world of Richard scary out there 1071 00:54:08,440 --> 00:54:10,799 Speaker 1: and people are all like doing their things, I can 1072 00:54:10,840 --> 00:54:12,640 Speaker 1: sleep because I'm like, no one can get me, because 1073 00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:15,080 Speaker 1: there will you know, it's daylight out and I just 1074 00:54:15,120 --> 00:54:17,480 Speaker 1: feel safer. But something there was this girl eating on 1075 00:54:17,520 --> 00:54:18,880 Speaker 1: a plane next to me, one time and I was like, 1076 00:54:19,560 --> 00:54:22,280 Speaker 1: just asmar ing out so hard. She was like crunching 1077 00:54:22,320 --> 00:54:24,160 Speaker 1: these chips in the right way and she was closing 1078 00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:26,320 Speaker 1: her mouth. I was like, and it was just so 1079 00:54:26,920 --> 00:54:30,439 Speaker 1: good and I was buzzing. I was just like, oh God, yes, 1080 00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:33,560 Speaker 1: keep going. I never one of those sun chips to end. 1081 00:54:33,560 --> 00:54:36,640 Speaker 1: That was like a perfect crunch. And then after that, 1082 00:54:36,640 --> 00:54:39,640 Speaker 1: that's when I started directing my searches towards as MR 1083 00:54:39,840 --> 00:54:42,800 Speaker 1: videos like eating. And then I found this girl asmr eats. 1084 00:54:43,360 --> 00:54:49,440 Speaker 1: Smary eats, Rismry eats, and she eats so much. She 1085 00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:52,440 Speaker 1: eats the amounts that I want to eat in one sitting, 1086 00:54:52,760 --> 00:54:55,880 Speaker 1: but I can't because I think she doesn't have an 1087 00:54:55,880 --> 00:54:58,480 Speaker 1: eating disorder though. She just like she does intermittent fasting, 1088 00:54:58,560 --> 00:55:01,759 Speaker 1: not even purposefully. She's just like I only eat for survival. 1089 00:55:02,120 --> 00:55:04,200 Speaker 1: I don't like to eat. I think it's just annoying 1090 00:55:04,239 --> 00:55:06,200 Speaker 1: that I have to eat. It's almost like she eats, 1091 00:55:06,239 --> 00:55:08,960 Speaker 1: like going to the gas pump, whereas I fill up 1092 00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:10,840 Speaker 1: my gas, like I'm just like I'm bored. I just 1093 00:55:10,880 --> 00:55:12,399 Speaker 1: like want to get gas and I want to stop, 1094 00:55:12,440 --> 00:55:14,600 Speaker 1: so I'll just get like five dollars in and then 1095 00:55:14,640 --> 00:55:16,560 Speaker 1: I need five dollars a little bit later. She just 1096 00:55:16,600 --> 00:55:18,600 Speaker 1: fills up once a day. And I don't believe in 1097 00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:21,120 Speaker 1: her man fasting. I think it is adult interaxia. But 1098 00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:23,560 Speaker 1: this girl has I know that she just listens to 1099 00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:25,200 Speaker 1: her body. She's like she does not have an ease 1100 00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:27,480 Speaker 1: sor she doesn't puke everything afterwards. A lot of I 1101 00:55:27,480 --> 00:55:31,799 Speaker 1: think muck bangers do purge afterwards, So I'm not encouraging this, 1102 00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:36,040 Speaker 1: Please don't do this. But she has talked about like 1103 00:55:36,400 --> 00:55:38,200 Speaker 1: why she can do this, and she's like she'll go 1104 00:55:38,239 --> 00:55:40,879 Speaker 1: like she'll go a while without eating, and then she's 1105 00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:43,000 Speaker 1: like every time I eat, I'm hungry. I don't eat 1106 00:55:43,040 --> 00:55:45,080 Speaker 1: because something looks good to me. I don't eat because 1107 00:55:45,120 --> 00:55:46,879 Speaker 1: we're going to dinner and I have to like eat. 1108 00:55:46,960 --> 00:55:49,799 Speaker 1: I only eat when I'm hungry. It's survival. I eat 1109 00:55:49,800 --> 00:55:51,520 Speaker 1: when I'm weak and I need the food and I 1110 00:55:51,520 --> 00:55:54,680 Speaker 1: wait for my body like crave certain things. So anyway, 1111 00:55:54,920 --> 00:55:59,600 Speaker 1: I've been obsessed with her for weeks now, and she 1112 00:55:59,760 --> 00:56:02,640 Speaker 1: help me because sometimes I when I am just eating 1113 00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:05,600 Speaker 1: nervously and I'm just like wanting to stuff my face 1114 00:56:05,640 --> 00:56:08,000 Speaker 1: and I'm not even hungry, I'll just put on her 1115 00:56:08,120 --> 00:56:11,160 Speaker 1: and I'll like for some reason, it like it hits 1116 00:56:11,200 --> 00:56:13,120 Speaker 1: that part of my brain that wants to just chew, 1117 00:56:13,640 --> 00:56:15,680 Speaker 1: and it like does it for me where I'm not 1118 00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:18,680 Speaker 1: actually doing the behavior. I'm just like listening to someone 1119 00:56:18,719 --> 00:56:21,240 Speaker 1: do it. So it's not like I'm starving myself. I don't. 1120 00:56:21,280 --> 00:56:23,680 Speaker 1: I never starve myself. I'm not listening to this what 1121 00:56:24,280 --> 00:56:26,080 Speaker 1: a lot of people listen to these videos. This is 1122 00:56:26,080 --> 00:56:28,359 Speaker 1: why I'm driving trigger warnings kind of here and there, 1123 00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:31,560 Speaker 1: because people watch these videos because they're trying not to eat, 1124 00:56:31,840 --> 00:56:34,239 Speaker 1: and they're like, I want to watch her eat, And 1125 00:56:34,280 --> 00:56:37,080 Speaker 1: it's a big thing as people watch these I used 1126 00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:38,399 Speaker 1: to do that when I was interacts, Like I would 1127 00:56:38,440 --> 00:56:41,880 Speaker 1: watch the Food Network four hours a day. No, I 1128 00:56:41,960 --> 00:56:45,480 Speaker 1: used to watch it when I'm like feeling stressed or 1129 00:56:45,520 --> 00:56:47,600 Speaker 1: and I just need to calm down. It's calming to me, 1130 00:56:48,080 --> 00:56:52,520 Speaker 1: and she would become addicted to it. I don't think 1131 00:56:52,520 --> 00:56:55,080 Speaker 1: it's an unhealthy addiction to watch these videos, Like it's 1132 00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:59,040 Speaker 1: not like, no, I not more than any other thing 1133 00:56:59,080 --> 00:57:03,480 Speaker 1: on your phone that you sister Instagram, like food stuff 1134 00:57:03,480 --> 00:57:06,640 Speaker 1: a lot. I remember it was you're probably hungry so much, yeah, 1135 00:57:06,680 --> 00:57:10,520 Speaker 1: And I was just imagine when I'm hungry. Yeah, that's 1136 00:57:10,520 --> 00:57:14,160 Speaker 1: because we were starving yourself. Probably. I'm not trying to project, 1137 00:57:14,239 --> 00:57:16,320 Speaker 1: but I used to be obsessed with watching food stuff 1138 00:57:16,320 --> 00:57:19,000 Speaker 1: when I was hungry, Like and when I got anarexic 1139 00:57:19,080 --> 00:57:23,160 Speaker 1: in nineteen or in two thousand and two, I went 1140 00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:26,480 Speaker 1: from never once watching anything food related to twenty four, 1141 00:57:26,800 --> 00:57:28,840 Speaker 1: like always watching the food number. We didn't have phones 1142 00:57:28,840 --> 00:57:31,240 Speaker 1: back then yet, so it was just like always watching. 1143 00:57:31,560 --> 00:57:33,960 Speaker 1: And my parents were like, you're into cooking food, You're 1144 00:57:33,960 --> 00:57:35,880 Speaker 1: into preparing it, not eating it. But I wanted to 1145 00:57:35,880 --> 00:57:39,160 Speaker 1: watch it. But anyway, I watched these videos and some 1146 00:57:39,240 --> 00:57:41,000 Speaker 1: days I'm in the mood to watch her eat a cake, 1147 00:57:41,120 --> 00:57:43,000 Speaker 1: like an entire cake in one sitting, and sometimes and 1148 00:57:43,080 --> 00:57:45,919 Speaker 1: then the mood watch her eat like fourteen casadillas because 1149 00:57:45,920 --> 00:57:48,720 Speaker 1: I want like salty and like whatever it's and it's 1150 00:57:48,760 --> 00:57:50,920 Speaker 1: so soothing to me. I always fall asleep. I'm not 1151 00:57:50,960 --> 00:57:53,160 Speaker 1: like salvating while I watch it. It's soothing to me. 1152 00:57:53,200 --> 00:57:56,360 Speaker 1: But anyway, something has worked with this and I put 1153 00:57:56,360 --> 00:57:59,520 Speaker 1: on you put on the captions, and she doesn't talk 1154 00:57:59,560 --> 00:58:01,320 Speaker 1: the whole time, which I really appreciate. I hate with 1155 00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:04,240 Speaker 1: the asm artists eat and talk. I'm just like stop, like, 1156 00:58:04,320 --> 00:58:07,360 Speaker 1: just do one but then she writes captions and while 1157 00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:09,520 Speaker 1: she edits it, she just like shares about her life 1158 00:58:09,520 --> 00:58:11,640 Speaker 1: and shares stories. Sometimes I close my eyes and go 1159 00:58:11,680 --> 00:58:13,880 Speaker 1: to sleep, but sometimes I'm reading it and she shares 1160 00:58:13,880 --> 00:58:16,920 Speaker 1: these interesting stories. She shares her theories on like how 1161 00:58:16,960 --> 00:58:18,960 Speaker 1: she used to starve herself. She used to be a 1162 00:58:19,080 --> 00:58:23,240 Speaker 1: fucking great professional athlete, and she was like, my body was, 1163 00:58:23,320 --> 00:58:25,160 Speaker 1: my weight was up and down, and now I just 1164 00:58:25,480 --> 00:58:27,040 Speaker 1: she kind of got in my head about waiting for 1165 00:58:27,040 --> 00:58:29,720 Speaker 1: your body to crave things before you eat things, and 1166 00:58:29,840 --> 00:58:32,320 Speaker 1: not getting ahead of yourself and just eating more for 1167 00:58:32,440 --> 00:58:35,760 Speaker 1: survival than for like pleasure, which I'm into pleasure, but 1168 00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:38,680 Speaker 1: like combine the two, like wait till you're also hungry 1169 00:58:38,880 --> 00:58:41,800 Speaker 1: and you want something you like when you're ready to eat, 1170 00:58:41,840 --> 00:58:44,160 Speaker 1: don't eat something that's like diety. Pick the thing on 1171 00:58:44,200 --> 00:58:47,680 Speaker 1: the menu you actually want and satiate yourself. Trust that, 1172 00:58:48,800 --> 00:58:50,640 Speaker 1: trust that you're not gonna want to keep eating forever, 1173 00:58:50,680 --> 00:58:53,760 Speaker 1: which is always my fear. So anyway, something got in 1174 00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:58,000 Speaker 1: and last week Chris and I were at this restaurant 1175 00:58:58,080 --> 00:59:00,520 Speaker 1: that we go to every single night, and these people 1176 00:59:00,520 --> 00:59:02,720 Speaker 1: next to us got a pizza and I was just like, 1177 00:59:03,360 --> 00:59:06,360 Speaker 1: that looks so fucking good. I can't. I can't, And 1178 00:59:06,600 --> 00:59:07,960 Speaker 1: usually I look at pizza and I go, it's not 1179 00:59:08,040 --> 00:59:10,680 Speaker 1: for me because I can't have pizza, I'll be fat 1180 00:59:10,960 --> 00:59:15,280 Speaker 1: pizza and pizza culturally is like oat pizzas. It's like 1181 00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:18,200 Speaker 1: a fat person food, you know. We equate fast food 1182 00:59:18,240 --> 00:59:21,439 Speaker 1: and pizza with like you're fat, you know, And it's 1183 00:59:21,480 --> 00:59:24,000 Speaker 1: so ingrained in my head. So pizza has never been 1184 00:59:24,040 --> 00:59:26,040 Speaker 1: for me. If I do have it, it's always because like, oh, 1185 00:59:26,080 --> 00:59:27,920 Speaker 1: it's the only thing to eat, and these people will 1186 00:59:27,920 --> 00:59:29,800 Speaker 1: think I'm anorextic if I don't eat it, I have to. 1187 00:59:29,960 --> 00:59:32,360 Speaker 1: I'm never enjoying it. I'm always just like get it 1188 00:59:32,440 --> 00:59:35,200 Speaker 1: down just because and then you're gonna have to starve 1189 00:59:35,240 --> 00:59:36,880 Speaker 1: tomorrow or you're gonna have to work out a lot 1190 00:59:36,880 --> 00:59:39,520 Speaker 1: to get this off. It's always worrying me. But the 1191 00:59:39,600 --> 00:59:41,360 Speaker 1: other night, these people were eating a pizza next to 1192 00:59:41,440 --> 00:59:43,400 Speaker 1: us and they left one piece and I was like, Chris, 1193 00:59:43,440 --> 00:59:44,840 Speaker 1: I want to ask them for it, like I want 1194 00:59:44,880 --> 00:59:47,880 Speaker 1: it so bad, But instead I'd gotten a salad and 1195 00:59:47,920 --> 00:59:50,440 Speaker 1: I got like jackfruit tacos like things I wanted. But 1196 00:59:50,480 --> 00:59:53,360 Speaker 1: I was like, I really want that pizza, Like everything 1197 00:59:53,400 --> 00:59:57,360 Speaker 1: in my body is craving this fucking delicious looking vegan 1198 00:59:57,600 --> 01:00:01,040 Speaker 1: margarita pizza. And so the next night I was like, 1199 01:00:01,080 --> 01:00:03,200 Speaker 1: I'm doing it, and Chris and I got this meat 1200 01:00:03,240 --> 01:00:05,640 Speaker 1: lover's pizza, but it's all like fake vegan meat and 1201 01:00:05,720 --> 01:00:09,040 Speaker 1: she's and we have gotten it every single night since. 1202 01:00:09,120 --> 01:00:13,000 Speaker 1: I have eaten pizza for every single dinner the path 1203 01:00:13,040 --> 01:00:15,640 Speaker 1: and I don't skip meals, so I'm eating lunch and breakast. 1204 01:00:15,640 --> 01:00:19,600 Speaker 1: I've eaten it and pizza. I am never depriving myself 1205 01:00:19,600 --> 01:00:23,360 Speaker 1: of pizza the rest of my fucking life, because as 1206 01:00:23,440 --> 01:00:25,880 Speaker 1: much as I have improved my eating over the past 1207 01:00:25,880 --> 01:00:28,160 Speaker 1: couple of years and not deprived myself, and I'm always 1208 01:00:28,320 --> 01:00:31,720 Speaker 1: thinking I'm getting what I want. I never opened the 1209 01:00:31,720 --> 01:00:35,520 Speaker 1: pizza window up it was. I always still had restrictions 1210 01:00:35,560 --> 01:00:40,120 Speaker 1: of like, you can have anything you want, but not pizza, fries, burgers, 1211 01:00:40,760 --> 01:00:42,880 Speaker 1: And I'm still not opening the fry window. I'm still 1212 01:00:42,880 --> 01:00:45,000 Speaker 1: not opening the burger window. That's not I don't have 1213 01:00:45,040 --> 01:00:47,880 Speaker 1: any interest in those yet. But the pizza window was open, 1214 01:00:47,960 --> 01:00:51,200 Speaker 1: and I'm never closing it again. I can't believe I 1215 01:00:51,240 --> 01:00:54,720 Speaker 1: went twenty years of my life. It was twenty one 1216 01:00:54,800 --> 01:00:57,440 Speaker 1: years of my life since I was antarectic of no 1217 01:00:57,520 --> 01:00:59,520 Speaker 1: pizza for me, and I would have it here and there, 1218 01:00:59,560 --> 01:01:01,040 Speaker 1: but like I said, said, it would always be like 1219 01:01:01,600 --> 01:01:04,040 Speaker 1: I just have to do this because it's like socially, 1220 01:01:04,120 --> 01:01:05,640 Speaker 1: that's what people are eating, and they're all going to 1221 01:01:05,680 --> 01:01:07,760 Speaker 1: think like I'm a diety weirdo if I don't eat it. 1222 01:01:07,800 --> 01:01:11,560 Speaker 1: And it's never been fun. I've never enjoyed it. I 1223 01:01:11,560 --> 01:01:14,240 Speaker 1: am obsessed with pizza. I have it every single night. 1224 01:01:14,400 --> 01:01:16,800 Speaker 1: It is the best food. It is really not that 1225 01:01:16,840 --> 01:01:20,280 Speaker 1: bad for you if you get if you get nutritious 1226 01:01:20,400 --> 01:01:22,480 Speaker 1: veggies on top, even if you don't, if you just 1227 01:01:22,520 --> 01:01:27,040 Speaker 1: get a delicately like light cheese and marianera and you 1228 01:01:27,120 --> 01:01:29,600 Speaker 1: don't like, it's not bad for you. It's not that 1229 01:01:29,760 --> 01:01:32,720 Speaker 1: it's not that bad. I think culturally we're just so 1230 01:01:32,840 --> 01:01:35,760 Speaker 1: on board with pizza being the worst thing. I had 1231 01:01:35,800 --> 01:01:39,040 Speaker 1: a friend, she was starting to be a nurse, and 1232 01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:41,520 Speaker 1: we were talking about like I was at work and 1233 01:01:41,560 --> 01:01:44,320 Speaker 1: I was just like craving something. I was craving a 1234 01:01:44,480 --> 01:01:47,040 Speaker 1: five guys burger and I was just like, I don't want, 1235 01:01:47,040 --> 01:01:48,720 Speaker 1: you know, I'm not going to go down and get 1236 01:01:48,720 --> 01:01:50,880 Speaker 1: that because it's greasy and all that. And she goes 1237 01:01:50,920 --> 01:01:54,240 Speaker 1: to me, when your body is craving something, it's telling 1238 01:01:54,240 --> 01:01:57,400 Speaker 1: you that it's deficient in something, So it's to it. 1239 01:01:57,480 --> 01:01:59,400 Speaker 1: Listen to your body, you want it, and go and 1240 01:01:59,440 --> 01:02:03,400 Speaker 1: get it. And also, welcome to pizza world. Well, thank 1241 01:02:03,440 --> 01:02:06,680 Speaker 1: you for having med add a number to the sign 1242 01:02:06,720 --> 01:02:09,160 Speaker 1: where it's his population, because I am here to stay. 1243 01:02:09,280 --> 01:02:12,400 Speaker 1: I'm obsessed with pizza. I love it. I'm never depriving 1244 01:02:12,400 --> 01:02:15,160 Speaker 1: myself of it again. And guess what, I'm kind of 1245 01:02:15,240 --> 01:02:18,320 Speaker 1: fucking full after I eat it. I don't need to 1246 01:02:18,360 --> 01:02:21,320 Speaker 1: have all of it. I like sometimes I go one 1247 01:02:21,440 --> 01:02:24,640 Speaker 1: or two slices or three sizes or you know, too much, 1248 01:02:24,800 --> 01:02:26,880 Speaker 1: and I kind of feel like, oh, but these are 1249 01:02:26,960 --> 01:02:30,440 Speaker 1: just growing pains of learning how to eat these foods 1250 01:02:30,440 --> 01:02:33,520 Speaker 1: again and not feel so fucking bad about it. I 1251 01:02:33,560 --> 01:02:35,600 Speaker 1: can still be a thin woman or the size that 1252 01:02:35,680 --> 01:02:37,760 Speaker 1: I want to be, whether that's thin or whatever. But 1253 01:02:37,840 --> 01:02:40,080 Speaker 1: I told Chris, I was like, welcome to pizza body. 1254 01:02:40,400 --> 01:02:44,120 Speaker 1: This is happening and it's never going away. I'm embracing 1255 01:02:44,120 --> 01:02:48,000 Speaker 1: pizza life. And he was like, final thought. He was 1256 01:02:48,080 --> 01:02:53,080 Speaker 1: very he said, final thought, final thought. I don't think 1257 01:02:53,120 --> 01:02:57,520 Speaker 1: we should be together anymore. No, I I was like 1258 01:02:58,440 --> 01:03:00,640 Speaker 1: last week, I think. I mentioned I had been like 1259 01:03:00,680 --> 01:03:02,520 Speaker 1: in a crying spell with Chris and I had just 1260 01:03:02,800 --> 01:03:05,880 Speaker 1: been like, I can't go to these sets. It was 1261 01:03:05,920 --> 01:03:07,800 Speaker 1: the night I saw, you know, I was crying before that. 1262 01:03:07,800 --> 01:03:09,320 Speaker 1: I'd just got a spray tand I was sticky, I 1263 01:03:09,360 --> 01:03:12,080 Speaker 1: was naked. I was crying and I was like putting 1264 01:03:12,080 --> 01:03:13,720 Speaker 1: on the spray tand and I was like, I ate 1265 01:03:13,840 --> 01:03:15,840 Speaker 1: my life. I have to be on this show tomorrow. 1266 01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:18,560 Speaker 1: I don't. I feel disgusting. I'm fat. Nothing fits. I 1267 01:03:18,600 --> 01:03:20,040 Speaker 1: had to put on like tight jeans after doing a 1268 01:03:20,040 --> 01:03:21,960 Speaker 1: spray tand which if you do spray tands, you know 1269 01:03:22,120 --> 01:03:24,040 Speaker 1: how much hell that is because you know it's like 1270 01:03:24,040 --> 01:03:26,400 Speaker 1: absorbing into the jeans. It's gonna be splotchy. But I 1271 01:03:26,440 --> 01:03:28,760 Speaker 1: had nothing else to wear because everything was tight, and 1272 01:03:28,800 --> 01:03:30,640 Speaker 1: my untight jeans were in the wash, so it was 1273 01:03:30,680 --> 01:03:34,440 Speaker 1: like fuck. So I was crying and I was like 1274 01:03:34,480 --> 01:03:36,600 Speaker 1: I'm fat and I'm just and he's like, I don't 1275 01:03:36,600 --> 01:03:39,040 Speaker 1: know what you're talking about, and I'm like, but everything's tight, 1276 01:03:39,080 --> 01:03:40,840 Speaker 1: so there's no way I'm not fat. Like these things 1277 01:03:40,840 --> 01:03:43,520 Speaker 1: that fit before don't fit anymore. So you're just you know, 1278 01:03:43,600 --> 01:03:45,360 Speaker 1: like I know that I am. And I was like, 1279 01:03:45,360 --> 01:03:47,400 Speaker 1: I know I'm not fat compared to like, you know, like, 1280 01:03:47,440 --> 01:03:48,880 Speaker 1: but I'm fat for me and I was like it 1281 01:03:49,600 --> 01:03:52,160 Speaker 1: and then cut too. I cried it out and then 1282 01:03:52,200 --> 01:03:53,280 Speaker 1: I was fine. I came home and I was like, hey, 1283 01:03:53,440 --> 01:03:55,360 Speaker 1: let's watch the succession. He's just like, are you like, 1284 01:03:55,760 --> 01:03:57,200 Speaker 1: who was the person that was here before? And why 1285 01:03:57,240 --> 01:03:59,800 Speaker 1: did she just disappear within an hour? Like and that's 1286 01:04:00,040 --> 01:04:02,560 Speaker 1: I mean, I can change within minutes. But last night 1287 01:04:02,560 --> 01:04:05,000 Speaker 1: I was like, babe, I'm in pizza face. This is 1288 01:04:05,040 --> 01:04:07,840 Speaker 1: my pizza body. I love like I'm gonna be a 1289 01:04:07,840 --> 01:04:11,440 Speaker 1: little bit thicky, thicker now, like I just and it's 1290 01:04:11,440 --> 01:04:15,040 Speaker 1: gonna come and go. And he's like, Okay, I don't 1291 01:04:15,120 --> 01:04:17,240 Speaker 1: trust this person who's talking to me right now. And 1292 01:04:17,280 --> 01:04:21,080 Speaker 1: I'm like, you shouldn't. You absolutely shouldn't. I'm going to 1293 01:04:21,160 --> 01:04:24,040 Speaker 1: be crying about how I'm fat in four days, no 1294 01:04:24,080 --> 01:04:28,840 Speaker 1: matter like my cycle, my hormones, my emotions are. But 1295 01:04:28,880 --> 01:04:31,479 Speaker 1: I'm telling you right now, from a healthy point of view, 1296 01:04:32,160 --> 01:04:34,280 Speaker 1: at the at the core of my being, I know 1297 01:04:34,400 --> 01:04:38,480 Speaker 1: that I would rather you know, Kate Moss was always 1298 01:04:38,480 --> 01:04:42,280 Speaker 1: like nothing tastes as good as skinny feels that she's 1299 01:04:42,320 --> 01:04:45,880 Speaker 1: never had pizza because yeah, she's never been a biology. 1300 01:04:46,000 --> 01:04:48,720 Speaker 1: Don't need to beat fat. If you eat pizza, it 1301 01:04:48,720 --> 01:04:51,640 Speaker 1: doesn't make you fat. You guys, over eating makes you 1302 01:04:51,680 --> 01:04:54,560 Speaker 1: fat Waiting to eat until you're starving, and then you 1303 01:04:54,640 --> 01:04:56,800 Speaker 1: eat so much because your body thinks it's preparing for 1304 01:04:56,880 --> 01:05:00,400 Speaker 1: fucking hibernation. That makes you fat. If you eat pizza 1305 01:05:00,480 --> 01:05:03,160 Speaker 1: like a normal person, you won't be fat. Our diet 1306 01:05:03,160 --> 01:05:07,280 Speaker 1: culture has ruined our brains, including mine. But I really 1307 01:05:07,320 --> 01:05:10,600 Speaker 1: appreciate how this girl, and I want to when we 1308 01:05:10,600 --> 01:05:12,200 Speaker 1: go to Athens, I really want to invite her to 1309 01:05:12,240 --> 01:05:13,720 Speaker 1: the show and I want to meet her because even 1310 01:05:13,760 --> 01:05:18,360 Speaker 1: though she has millions of views and followers, I feel 1311 01:05:18,400 --> 01:05:21,600 Speaker 1: I'm like, she's like, she's such a celebrity to me, 1312 01:05:21,880 --> 01:05:24,360 Speaker 1: I love this girl. I'm not alone. All of us 1313 01:05:24,520 --> 01:05:26,880 Speaker 1: stand her so much because she's just like no drama, 1314 01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:29,440 Speaker 1: even though like all the comments under her videos are 1315 01:05:29,480 --> 01:05:32,160 Speaker 1: like you're so no drama. I'm like, who's bringing drama 1316 01:05:32,400 --> 01:05:36,320 Speaker 1: to the Instagram eat muckbangs? Like where's the drama there? 1317 01:05:36,320 --> 01:05:38,440 Speaker 1: But I guess YouTube is a wild world that I 1318 01:05:38,480 --> 01:05:42,200 Speaker 1: don't really know what's going on there. But um, yeah, 1319 01:05:42,280 --> 01:05:44,960 Speaker 1: I'm just obsessed with pizza. I've literally had it for 1320 01:05:45,000 --> 01:05:47,920 Speaker 1: every meal for a week and a half now for 1321 01:05:48,000 --> 01:05:51,880 Speaker 1: every dinner, and there's no stopping it. Eventually, I'll move 1322 01:05:51,920 --> 01:05:54,440 Speaker 1: on to something else. But I just want to encourage 1323 01:05:54,640 --> 01:05:57,080 Speaker 1: people out there that might think like me when it 1324 01:05:57,120 --> 01:05:58,640 Speaker 1: comes to food. I think there's a lot of you, 1325 01:05:59,680 --> 01:06:01,880 Speaker 1: Like you said, like your friends said, like if you're 1326 01:06:01,920 --> 01:06:04,960 Speaker 1: craving a burger, just have a fucking burger. If you 1327 01:06:05,000 --> 01:06:07,440 Speaker 1: never have, like and don't, and if you're craving it 1328 01:06:07,480 --> 01:06:09,400 Speaker 1: because you're like emotional and you're like, I'm giving up, 1329 01:06:09,440 --> 01:06:13,120 Speaker 1: I don't fucking care. But like, listen, I'm starting to 1330 01:06:13,120 --> 01:06:15,240 Speaker 1: see a new therapist in a couple of weeks that's 1331 01:06:15,240 --> 01:06:17,440 Speaker 1: a somatic therapist because I'm so out of touch with 1332 01:06:17,480 --> 01:06:19,960 Speaker 1: my body and like listening to my body and like 1333 01:06:20,040 --> 01:06:23,440 Speaker 1: what at wants and feeling things like my voice. Seacher 1334 01:06:23,480 --> 01:06:25,360 Speaker 1: had me do one of those relaxations where you start 1335 01:06:25,360 --> 01:06:26,720 Speaker 1: at the top of your head and then you move 1336 01:06:26,800 --> 01:06:30,200 Speaker 1: through your nose and now your lips are relaxed. Now 1337 01:06:30,240 --> 01:06:32,800 Speaker 1: you're a throat now, and then it's it starts to 1338 01:06:32,840 --> 01:06:34,840 Speaker 1: get almost like you're like, oh God, please don't say 1339 01:06:34,880 --> 01:06:38,760 Speaker 1: every part. But he's so respectfully. He jumped right from 1340 01:06:38,760 --> 01:06:41,800 Speaker 1: my like throat to my knees. I was like, thank 1341 01:06:41,800 --> 01:06:44,400 Speaker 1: you for skipping about all of the other store stuff. 1342 01:06:45,400 --> 01:06:47,520 Speaker 1: I was like, is he gonna trace it all? And 1343 01:06:47,560 --> 01:06:49,600 Speaker 1: I was like, oh God, like he allowed me to 1344 01:06:49,640 --> 01:06:50,960 Speaker 1: do that on my own and then he picked it 1345 01:06:51,040 --> 01:06:56,640 Speaker 1: back up at my knees. Um, But I just do you, 1346 01:06:56,840 --> 01:06:59,800 Speaker 1: like know what you I've always prided you on being 1347 01:07:00,080 --> 01:07:02,800 Speaker 1: like an intuitive eater, Like I feel like you're always 1348 01:07:02,800 --> 01:07:04,560 Speaker 1: able to put things down and just be like I'm 1349 01:07:04,600 --> 01:07:08,280 Speaker 1: good now, like I don't need Like have you did 1350 01:07:08,320 --> 01:07:10,760 Speaker 1: that moment that she said that to you? Do you 1351 01:07:11,120 --> 01:07:13,400 Speaker 1: do that more often now? Where you like what for 1352 01:07:13,480 --> 01:07:16,240 Speaker 1: actually what you really want? Those are words that have 1353 01:07:16,320 --> 01:07:18,480 Speaker 1: stuck with me. I think this happened maybe like ten 1354 01:07:18,600 --> 01:07:23,880 Speaker 1: years ago, and it's just like it's just taught me 1355 01:07:23,960 --> 01:07:27,240 Speaker 1: to like understand that a craving is not that's just 1356 01:07:27,320 --> 01:07:29,880 Speaker 1: coming out of the blue. That's how my body is 1357 01:07:29,920 --> 01:07:33,320 Speaker 1: communicating with me and is saying you haven't gotten enough iron, 1358 01:07:33,720 --> 01:07:38,720 Speaker 1: I need iron or I need some vitamin C. That's 1359 01:07:38,760 --> 01:07:41,080 Speaker 1: interesting to think of your body like a baby. That's 1360 01:07:41,120 --> 01:07:44,640 Speaker 1: just like I need like a separate thing because I 1361 01:07:44,680 --> 01:07:48,040 Speaker 1: think we're you know, there's that's what dualism is is 1362 01:07:48,080 --> 01:07:50,840 Speaker 1: like your mind versus your body. Are they one thing 1363 01:07:50,960 --> 01:07:53,320 Speaker 1: or are they separate? And I think they're totally separate, 1364 01:07:53,840 --> 01:07:57,360 Speaker 1: and we get them confused with like, first of all, 1365 01:07:57,360 --> 01:07:59,120 Speaker 1: you think your mind is you, and I think the 1366 01:07:59,160 --> 01:08:02,240 Speaker 1: mind is a separate thing from yourself as well. But 1367 01:08:02,520 --> 01:08:07,200 Speaker 1: it's just like I just it's like this weird thing 1368 01:08:07,200 --> 01:08:09,960 Speaker 1: of not trusting your your wants and needs and thinking 1369 01:08:10,000 --> 01:08:14,040 Speaker 1: that somewhere you're being nefarious and you're being bad, and 1370 01:08:14,120 --> 01:08:17,160 Speaker 1: like what you crave equals it's bad. So anything that 1371 01:08:17,200 --> 01:08:20,240 Speaker 1: you crave you just go that must be wrong because 1372 01:08:20,680 --> 01:08:25,240 Speaker 1: that's diet culture. Anything that's like, ooh decadent, you're bad. 1373 01:08:25,280 --> 01:08:27,760 Speaker 1: Oh I'm being bad. I mean there's an inside Amy 1374 01:08:27,800 --> 01:08:30,360 Speaker 1: Schumer sketch that we shot where it was like and 1375 01:08:30,640 --> 01:08:32,439 Speaker 1: everything we talked about at the table was like and 1376 01:08:32,479 --> 01:08:34,960 Speaker 1: then I was so bad. I ate that too much 1377 01:08:35,080 --> 01:08:37,280 Speaker 1: chocolate And then I don't know, I bought this shirt 1378 01:08:37,280 --> 01:08:40,840 Speaker 1: and I'm being bad, Like why is that bad to 1379 01:08:40,960 --> 01:08:44,920 Speaker 1: like do what you want? Because but there, but I 1380 01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:48,559 Speaker 1: know why, because working out sucks. You know, things that 1381 01:08:48,720 --> 01:08:52,240 Speaker 1: take our hard are always give you benefits. So why 1382 01:08:52,240 --> 01:08:55,240 Speaker 1: wouldn't we always be punitive? With ourselves when we get 1383 01:08:55,280 --> 01:08:58,519 Speaker 1: benefits like I. At the same time, it's like that 1384 01:08:58,560 --> 01:09:00,439 Speaker 1: you're supposed to give into your wants and listen to 1385 01:09:00,439 --> 01:09:02,720 Speaker 1: your body. Then why is there's the separate camp of 1386 01:09:02,760 --> 01:09:05,880 Speaker 1: like fight past the voice that says give up. Navy 1387 01:09:05,960 --> 01:09:08,559 Speaker 1: Seals can go fifteen times longer than the time you 1388 01:09:08,600 --> 01:09:11,479 Speaker 1: want to give up. Where like jiu jitsu do they 1389 01:09:11,520 --> 01:09:14,320 Speaker 1: do they kind of like find a healthy medium between 1390 01:09:14,360 --> 01:09:17,840 Speaker 1: those two, like where is the where is the in between? 1391 01:09:17,880 --> 01:09:20,679 Speaker 1: Because those are two separate things that are like you'll 1392 01:09:20,680 --> 01:09:23,599 Speaker 1: see an Instagram post that's like listen to your needs 1393 01:09:23,600 --> 01:09:25,200 Speaker 1: and wants, listen to your body, and then the next 1394 01:09:25,200 --> 01:09:27,400 Speaker 1: one is like push through and it's like, okay, we 1395 01:09:27,560 --> 01:09:31,760 Speaker 1: can't do both. Which one's right? So I'm reading a 1396 01:09:31,800 --> 01:09:34,639 Speaker 1: book called The Art of Learning and it's about it's 1397 01:09:34,680 --> 01:09:37,639 Speaker 1: written by this guy who's like a prodigy, like chess player. 1398 01:09:37,680 --> 01:09:41,439 Speaker 1: He was, it's it's not the movie that was based 1399 01:09:41,479 --> 01:09:44,120 Speaker 1: on him, but he was like another child prodigy. And 1400 01:09:44,560 --> 01:09:48,760 Speaker 1: he describes two styles of learning, and one of them 1401 01:09:48,960 --> 01:09:51,720 Speaker 1: is just kind of like black and white. So you're 1402 01:09:51,760 --> 01:09:54,880 Speaker 1: good at something or you're bad at something, and that 1403 01:09:55,640 --> 01:09:59,240 Speaker 1: style discourages a lot of kids from growth and learning. 1404 01:09:59,680 --> 01:10:05,120 Speaker 1: But the other style is work hard and you'll get 1405 01:10:05,160 --> 01:10:09,000 Speaker 1: past it. Or you know what, you didn't win this 1406 01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:11,640 Speaker 1: this championship this time, but we're gonna work harder for 1407 01:10:11,680 --> 01:10:14,639 Speaker 1: the next time, and we're gonna apply that knowledge and 1408 01:10:14,880 --> 01:10:17,960 Speaker 1: you'll do better. And kids who have that mentality learn 1409 01:10:18,240 --> 01:10:21,599 Speaker 1: and grow and just thrive much better in like high 1410 01:10:21,600 --> 01:10:26,680 Speaker 1: pressure situations and all that stuff. So so it is 1411 01:10:26,760 --> 01:10:29,639 Speaker 1: striking a balance between those two. But that's I don't 1412 01:10:29,680 --> 01:10:33,360 Speaker 1: like paradoxes. I don't like when there are two separate 1413 01:10:34,240 --> 01:10:37,840 Speaker 1: things being message to me because I get then where 1414 01:10:37,880 --> 01:10:41,240 Speaker 1: it's like it's okay to be fat people. We love 1415 01:10:41,280 --> 01:10:43,639 Speaker 1: fat people and you can be yourself, be whatever size, 1416 01:10:43,760 --> 01:10:46,320 Speaker 1: but at the same time it's very unhealthy and also 1417 01:10:46,400 --> 01:10:50,200 Speaker 1: you'll you know, you're not gonna get any roles, And like, 1418 01:10:50,640 --> 01:10:53,160 Speaker 1: which is it? Are we? Are we Lizzo or are 1419 01:10:53,160 --> 01:10:55,720 Speaker 1: we a hot deed? Which which do we celebrate? You know, 1420 01:10:55,800 --> 01:10:59,040 Speaker 1: which do we do we? Because I'm sorry, Kendall Jenner 1421 01:10:59,080 --> 01:11:02,320 Speaker 1: definitely skips me else she does. But when we reward 1422 01:11:02,360 --> 01:11:05,080 Speaker 1: that and we go wow, good on her, Lizzo doesn't 1423 01:11:05,439 --> 01:11:08,120 Speaker 1: And then we reward that. Which one is it? Guys? 1424 01:11:08,200 --> 01:11:10,080 Speaker 1: Which one do you want us to do because you 1425 01:11:10,120 --> 01:11:13,640 Speaker 1: can't do both. And I think that that's where I 1426 01:11:13,840 --> 01:11:18,320 Speaker 1: just get really frustrated with life, is that there's always 1427 01:11:18,400 --> 01:11:21,760 Speaker 1: these It's it always feels black and white. You got 1428 01:11:21,760 --> 01:11:24,719 Speaker 1: to choose one's half, and I know it's like just yeah, 1429 01:11:24,760 --> 01:11:27,840 Speaker 1: double standards all the time. I mean, I just don't 1430 01:11:27,880 --> 01:11:30,400 Speaker 1: know what to do with it. Maybe you keep going 1431 01:11:30,439 --> 01:11:33,439 Speaker 1: to see Michael Rochio and you go through this journey 1432 01:11:33,439 --> 01:11:36,479 Speaker 1: of self discovery and not like look to Hollywood for 1433 01:11:36,560 --> 01:11:39,040 Speaker 1: these kinds of lessons. I know, you got to get 1434 01:11:39,080 --> 01:11:41,519 Speaker 1: Instagram off your phone. I mean, they've done studies now 1435 01:11:41,520 --> 01:11:45,799 Speaker 1: and it's like having apps. These apps on your phone 1436 01:11:45,840 --> 01:11:49,559 Speaker 1: are so damaging. It's like cigarettes. You guys, we've been 1437 01:11:49,560 --> 01:11:52,760 Speaker 1: saying it for years of like what we're gonna say 1438 01:11:52,800 --> 01:11:56,439 Speaker 1: about these about social media in the future and how 1439 01:11:56,520 --> 01:12:00,800 Speaker 1: dumb we are and naive. But I mean, what is 1440 01:12:00,800 --> 01:12:03,360 Speaker 1: the solution because I I can't get off them. I 1441 01:12:03,360 --> 01:12:05,880 Speaker 1: feel like my relationship with Reddit, I found so many 1442 01:12:05,920 --> 01:12:12,600 Speaker 1: fun things. I love it. Instagram it's the comparison, but 1443 01:12:12,880 --> 01:12:16,519 Speaker 1: comparing yourself. We are not meant to compare ourselves this often, 1444 01:12:17,120 --> 01:12:22,200 Speaker 1: and too filters that aren't everyone's filtered by the way 1445 01:12:22,360 --> 01:12:25,080 Speaker 1: every single person even when they're not, even when they go, 1446 01:12:25,160 --> 01:12:27,200 Speaker 1: this is me filtered, and this is me unfiltered, that 1447 01:12:27,360 --> 01:12:30,559 Speaker 1: unfiltered thing, it's still a filter. Your camera has a 1448 01:12:30,600 --> 01:12:33,240 Speaker 1: filter on it. It's showing you a better version of yourself. 1449 01:12:33,240 --> 01:12:36,360 Speaker 1: It's a skinny mirror. It's a it's a lie, and 1450 01:12:37,720 --> 01:12:40,000 Speaker 1: it's so damaging and you don't even know it, even 1451 01:12:40,000 --> 01:12:42,920 Speaker 1: when you think you're savvy enough. Anya, do you are you? 1452 01:12:42,920 --> 01:12:44,599 Speaker 1: You said you were having a bad day in that 1453 01:12:44,640 --> 01:12:50,679 Speaker 1: way today was it? Because social media probably just getting 1454 01:12:50,720 --> 01:12:53,680 Speaker 1: older is hard. And I'm really underslept, Like I can 1455 01:12:53,720 --> 01:12:57,599 Speaker 1: tell I'm under I'm when you're doing your dream and 1456 01:12:57,720 --> 01:13:01,479 Speaker 1: like there's nothing that you've ever dreamed more than what 1457 01:13:01,520 --> 01:13:05,200 Speaker 1: you're doing, and you still get depressed. You're underslept. Like 1458 01:13:05,240 --> 01:13:10,200 Speaker 1: I'm on stage with my best friend playing theaters which 1459 01:13:10,240 --> 01:13:12,479 Speaker 1: has like been on my vision board since I was ten, 1460 01:13:13,160 --> 01:13:17,240 Speaker 1: and right singing songs I wrote that I like, and 1461 01:13:17,360 --> 01:13:19,720 Speaker 1: my voice is working and I'm connecting and it's like 1462 01:13:19,840 --> 01:13:22,479 Speaker 1: you're sold out, crowds are so nice, and I'm meeting 1463 01:13:22,479 --> 01:13:26,120 Speaker 1: besties and I'm like, I'm like crying myself to sleep 1464 01:13:26,160 --> 01:13:29,560 Speaker 1: at night. A great boy f fiance, you have a 1465 01:13:30,520 --> 01:13:34,639 Speaker 1: great house. I know. That's another thing. Are you are 1466 01:13:34,680 --> 01:13:38,120 Speaker 1: you able to take a nap today or something? Yes? Yes, 1467 01:13:38,720 --> 01:13:41,519 Speaker 1: because I feel like sometimes people are underslept and they 1468 01:13:41,600 --> 01:13:45,080 Speaker 1: still keep going. It's like, will you give into your 1469 01:13:45,120 --> 01:13:47,320 Speaker 1: craving for a nap or are you going to push through? 1470 01:13:47,439 --> 01:13:49,639 Speaker 1: Like I don't know. That's the other thing that we're 1471 01:13:49,640 --> 01:13:52,120 Speaker 1: brainwashed to think is like if you sleep too much, 1472 01:13:52,160 --> 01:13:56,400 Speaker 1: you're a piece of shit. And when you're underslept, you 1473 01:13:56,400 --> 01:13:58,800 Speaker 1: you still you. You won't give into it because sometimes 1474 01:13:58,840 --> 01:14:03,000 Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, I know Matt needs a nap 1475 01:14:03,000 --> 01:14:05,519 Speaker 1: and he's uplate editing photos and I'm like, do not 1476 01:14:05,720 --> 01:14:09,559 Speaker 1: do this. I don't a bigger thing as meditation for 1477 01:14:09,680 --> 01:14:11,920 Speaker 1: all these things we're talking about, Like I just saw 1478 01:14:11,960 --> 01:14:13,960 Speaker 1: that little thing you sent me, the little kid learning 1479 01:14:13,960 --> 01:14:17,559 Speaker 1: to meditate when he was little. It's so valuable because 1480 01:14:17,760 --> 01:14:20,200 Speaker 1: the stuff that the reason I wouldn't nap today if 1481 01:14:20,240 --> 01:14:23,120 Speaker 1: I don't, is because my mind is too active. But 1482 01:14:23,160 --> 01:14:25,200 Speaker 1: if you meditate, you can really get in touch with 1483 01:14:25,240 --> 01:14:28,599 Speaker 1: these things like you're talking about the pizza, like Noah's 1484 01:14:28,600 --> 01:14:31,479 Speaker 1: talking about like craving certain foods or like knowing when 1485 01:14:31,520 --> 01:14:34,120 Speaker 1: you're done, and like, when I'm up at night, like, 1486 01:14:34,360 --> 01:14:35,920 Speaker 1: what am I going to do with my parents? They're 1487 01:14:35,920 --> 01:14:38,240 Speaker 1: getting old, their house is in distrepayer. Where should I 1488 01:14:38,240 --> 01:14:40,080 Speaker 1: move them? They can't make a decision on their own 1489 01:14:40,120 --> 01:14:44,840 Speaker 1: now they're being stubborn. What should I do? It's like like, 1490 01:14:45,400 --> 01:14:50,320 Speaker 1: this is shit. You cannot do something right now? Should 1491 01:14:50,439 --> 01:14:55,680 Speaker 1: you call your lawyer? There's so many shoods. Yes, but 1492 01:14:55,800 --> 01:14:58,679 Speaker 1: meditation is the one thing I've experienced in my life 1493 01:14:58,800 --> 01:15:01,200 Speaker 1: that really gets me in touch. Should that the real me? 1494 01:15:01,880 --> 01:15:03,840 Speaker 1: And the real me is pretty sane and the real 1495 01:15:03,880 --> 01:15:08,759 Speaker 1: what would you say to me? I'm speaking for everyone 1496 01:15:08,800 --> 01:15:11,880 Speaker 1: who's not into meditating and doesn't think it's for them, 1497 01:15:11,920 --> 01:15:15,559 Speaker 1: And it's like, why would I sit and think about 1498 01:15:15,600 --> 01:15:17,920 Speaker 1: a bunch of stuff alone with my thoughts? Why would 1499 01:15:17,920 --> 01:15:21,080 Speaker 1: that work to make it so I don't think about stuff? 1500 01:15:21,320 --> 01:15:23,559 Speaker 1: Why is sitting alone with my thoughts going to help 1501 01:15:23,600 --> 01:15:26,840 Speaker 1: me avoid my incessant thoughts? Would I know what I 1502 01:15:26,880 --> 01:15:28,200 Speaker 1: say to that? But what do you say to that? 1503 01:15:28,439 --> 01:15:32,000 Speaker 1: Because that's what everyone to me as being someone who 1504 01:15:32,320 --> 01:15:36,639 Speaker 1: playing Devil's advocate, meditation sounds fucking insane. If you're talking 1505 01:15:36,640 --> 01:15:38,880 Speaker 1: about I need to be escaped from my thoughts. I'm 1506 01:15:38,880 --> 01:15:40,639 Speaker 1: going to sit in a chair and think about stuff, 1507 01:15:41,160 --> 01:15:43,920 Speaker 1: what the fuck and try to avoid my thoughts. What 1508 01:15:44,040 --> 01:15:46,880 Speaker 1: is that going to help? I would say, go for 1509 01:15:47,000 --> 01:15:49,439 Speaker 1: a walk. You don't have to meditate sitting in a room. 1510 01:15:49,520 --> 01:15:51,320 Speaker 1: You could like go for a walk without your phone 1511 01:15:51,400 --> 01:15:55,400 Speaker 1: and just like be out there. Well, I will say 1512 01:15:55,520 --> 01:15:59,479 Speaker 1: that you can't. Meditation is not to answer my own question, 1513 01:15:59,640 --> 01:16:01,680 Speaker 1: and they'll keep it on meditation. But you're right, go 1514 01:16:01,760 --> 01:16:04,600 Speaker 1: for a walk. There other ways, but walks aren't meditating. 1515 01:16:04,880 --> 01:16:08,679 Speaker 1: There may be like calming, but it's not the same 1516 01:16:08,720 --> 01:16:10,720 Speaker 1: as sitting alone. Like the last thing I want to 1517 01:16:10,720 --> 01:16:12,200 Speaker 1: do right now is just sit on the couch and 1518 01:16:12,360 --> 01:16:14,439 Speaker 1: think about my thoughts. But I'm gonna do it because 1519 01:16:15,160 --> 01:16:18,280 Speaker 1: I know I don't know why it works, but I 1520 01:16:18,320 --> 01:16:21,400 Speaker 1: swear that it does. And if you just follow the 1521 01:16:21,439 --> 01:16:24,040 Speaker 1: steps of looking at your breath, focus on your breathing, 1522 01:16:24,400 --> 01:16:26,400 Speaker 1: and then when you realize that you've stopped focusing on 1523 01:16:26,439 --> 01:16:28,559 Speaker 1: your breathing and you're thinking about your parents getting older 1524 01:16:28,560 --> 01:16:31,960 Speaker 1: and about what lawyer to call, and then if you 1525 01:16:32,040 --> 01:16:34,759 Speaker 1: realize you're thinking and you're like, oh shit, I'm not breathing, 1526 01:16:35,080 --> 01:16:37,000 Speaker 1: just go back to breathing. A second later when you're 1527 01:16:37,000 --> 01:16:39,120 Speaker 1: thinking about what am I going to eat today? And 1528 01:16:39,520 --> 01:16:41,360 Speaker 1: you get lost in that thought and then the second 1529 01:16:41,400 --> 01:16:43,360 Speaker 1: you go, oh shit, I'm thinking I should be breathing. 1530 01:16:43,479 --> 01:16:45,519 Speaker 1: Go back to breathing. That's the only thing you have 1531 01:16:45,560 --> 01:16:48,320 Speaker 1: to do. Thoughts are allowed to come and go. What 1532 01:16:48,360 --> 01:16:52,400 Speaker 1: it does is it helps you see thoughts as things 1533 01:16:52,439 --> 01:16:55,680 Speaker 1: that you can duck under and not let capture your 1534 01:16:55,720 --> 01:16:58,240 Speaker 1: attention and ruin your focus because we get lost in 1535 01:16:58,280 --> 01:17:01,799 Speaker 1: thoughts and we don't know where we are. We literally 1536 01:17:02,640 --> 01:17:05,280 Speaker 1: they're like dreams where you like wake up from it, 1537 01:17:05,360 --> 01:17:06,560 Speaker 1: like you can then get out of the thought and go, 1538 01:17:06,600 --> 01:17:08,400 Speaker 1: oh my god, that wasn't even real, and I got 1539 01:17:08,439 --> 01:17:12,120 Speaker 1: out of it. But we think that with someone in 1540 01:17:12,160 --> 01:17:14,479 Speaker 1: my mind, like or I just had a whole cont 1541 01:17:14,800 --> 01:17:18,000 Speaker 1: that never happened, and I drove five miles during that time, 1542 01:17:18,000 --> 01:17:19,800 Speaker 1: and I don't I didn't see anything. I didn't see 1543 01:17:19,800 --> 01:17:22,559 Speaker 1: any billboards, I didn't see any of the greenery around me. 1544 01:17:23,120 --> 01:17:25,320 Speaker 1: Or I just you know, I didn't see that entire 1545 01:17:25,320 --> 01:17:28,160 Speaker 1: scene in succession because I was thinking about how I 1546 01:17:28,200 --> 01:17:30,000 Speaker 1: didn't run today and I'm such a piece of shit, 1547 01:17:30,160 --> 01:17:32,320 Speaker 1: and how I have to do this travel tomorrow, Like 1548 01:17:32,960 --> 01:17:36,759 Speaker 1: it's That's what meditation does is it helps you dodge 1549 01:17:37,360 --> 01:17:41,080 Speaker 1: a lot more thoughts than you then you don't. You 1550 01:17:41,240 --> 01:17:43,880 Speaker 1: learn how to think of the thoughts as like playing 1551 01:17:43,880 --> 01:17:46,439 Speaker 1: a video game, and like you can dodge them. And 1552 01:17:46,479 --> 01:17:49,880 Speaker 1: that doesn't mean that those thoughts don't get I was 1553 01:17:50,160 --> 01:17:53,639 Speaker 1: I was like them analogy of it's like you're trying 1554 01:17:53,680 --> 01:17:56,360 Speaker 1: to swim out to ocean, and thoughts are like waves, 1555 01:17:56,640 --> 01:17:58,160 Speaker 1: and you know how like the quickest way to get 1556 01:17:58,200 --> 01:18:00,920 Speaker 1: out is diving under the wave. So it's not like 1557 01:18:00,960 --> 01:18:03,320 Speaker 1: you have like you still process the way the way 1558 01:18:03,320 --> 01:18:05,040 Speaker 1: it still goes over your but you're not letting it 1559 01:18:05,080 --> 01:18:08,840 Speaker 1: crash you and send you back. And I think my 1560 01:18:09,040 --> 01:18:11,360 Speaker 1: lower self would argue, well, how am I going to 1561 01:18:11,400 --> 01:18:13,320 Speaker 1: figure it out my parents' situation if I don't think 1562 01:18:13,360 --> 01:18:15,320 Speaker 1: about it at some point and actually spend some time 1563 01:18:15,360 --> 01:18:18,160 Speaker 1: thinking about it. If I'm constantly diving under, it's what's 1564 01:18:18,200 --> 01:18:21,640 Speaker 1: going to happen. And the truth is, you you'll be 1565 01:18:21,680 --> 01:18:24,559 Speaker 1: able to approach those thoughts and know that you're in 1566 01:18:24,600 --> 01:18:27,479 Speaker 1: them instead of getting lost in them and getting sucked 1567 01:18:27,560 --> 01:18:30,880 Speaker 1: in and feeling like You'll be able to be in 1568 01:18:30,920 --> 01:18:33,519 Speaker 1: that thought and know, Okay, this is a time to 1569 01:18:33,560 --> 01:18:37,360 Speaker 1: think about my parents' house situation. This isn't You're not 1570 01:18:37,400 --> 01:18:40,679 Speaker 1: going to get sucked into it for hours. You're gonna 1571 01:18:40,720 --> 01:18:43,200 Speaker 1: be able to take the time and set a little 1572 01:18:43,200 --> 01:18:45,280 Speaker 1: timer in your head kind of and treat it like 1573 01:18:45,560 --> 01:18:48,120 Speaker 1: this is an assignment rather this is who I am. Now, 1574 01:18:48,439 --> 01:18:50,920 Speaker 1: thoughts become us who we are, Like I'm a person 1575 01:18:50,960 --> 01:18:53,920 Speaker 1: who's sad right now. No, I'm a person who's processing 1576 01:18:54,479 --> 01:18:56,639 Speaker 1: a sad thought and then it's going to go through 1577 01:18:56,680 --> 01:18:58,559 Speaker 1: and then I'll move on. And I think that's like 1578 01:18:58,600 --> 01:19:00,559 Speaker 1: the kind of cool thing about meditation that it's almost 1579 01:19:00,560 --> 01:19:02,280 Speaker 1: like an assembly line and you can look at your 1580 01:19:02,280 --> 01:19:04,280 Speaker 1: thoughts as like things you just work on and then 1581 01:19:04,280 --> 01:19:06,840 Speaker 1: you put aside, or you like you know and who 1582 01:19:07,040 --> 01:19:09,840 Speaker 1: you are. Yeah, and I it took me, It still 1583 01:19:09,880 --> 01:19:12,880 Speaker 1: takes me. We get lost in thought constantly. As I'm 1584 01:19:12,880 --> 01:19:14,920 Speaker 1: talking right now, you're lost in thought, probably a listener 1585 01:19:14,960 --> 01:19:17,679 Speaker 1: about something and thinking about something else. Like it's You're 1586 01:19:17,720 --> 01:19:21,040 Speaker 1: never going even the best meditator is never going to 1587 01:19:21,040 --> 01:19:23,960 Speaker 1: be perfect at thinking of thoughts as separate. You're always 1588 01:19:23,960 --> 01:19:25,519 Speaker 1: going to get caught in them, But you're going to 1589 01:19:25,600 --> 01:19:30,240 Speaker 1: get better at at not getting, not getting, not drowning 1590 01:19:30,280 --> 01:19:33,720 Speaker 1: in them and not and not getting I think that's 1591 01:19:33,720 --> 01:19:36,400 Speaker 1: what depression takes over me is because I become a 1592 01:19:36,439 --> 01:19:40,360 Speaker 1: sad person. I become the thought that everything sucks and 1593 01:19:40,439 --> 01:19:42,599 Speaker 1: my life is bad and I'm tired and like no 1594 01:19:42,600 --> 01:19:44,479 Speaker 1: one cares about me and no one's looking out for 1595 01:19:44,520 --> 01:19:47,920 Speaker 1: me and my schedules too much, Like it becomes who 1596 01:19:47,960 --> 01:19:50,439 Speaker 1: I am. It becomes the truth as opposed to like 1597 01:19:50,920 --> 01:19:53,960 Speaker 1: a little it's like a little, you know, an arrow 1598 01:19:53,960 --> 01:19:55,360 Speaker 1: in my back that I can pull out and go 1599 01:19:55,439 --> 01:19:58,080 Speaker 1: oh and like patch up that wound. It just becomes 1600 01:19:58,120 --> 01:20:02,280 Speaker 1: who I am. So maybe that will queen of metaphors 1601 01:20:02,320 --> 01:20:07,120 Speaker 1: today like these well remember that good? Yeah, like a 1602 01:20:07,720 --> 01:20:11,400 Speaker 1: it's it's like when you are. Sometimes when I have 1603 01:20:11,479 --> 01:20:13,479 Speaker 1: like a really mean thought and I'm like, I really 1604 01:20:13,560 --> 01:20:17,479 Speaker 1: want her to fucking like gets ugly, like I want 1605 01:20:17,479 --> 01:20:19,400 Speaker 1: her to age, Like I like, I say, I have 1606 01:20:19,400 --> 01:20:20,800 Speaker 1: something where I'm like, I hope she doesn't. Are you 1607 01:20:20,880 --> 01:20:26,400 Speaker 1: doing this to me? No? No, if anything, That's why 1608 01:20:26,439 --> 01:20:29,920 Speaker 1: I was. I only want you to be happy and healthy. 1609 01:20:30,120 --> 01:20:31,880 Speaker 1: But there are sometimes I have those thoughts and like 1610 01:20:32,200 --> 01:20:33,680 Speaker 1: then I can get sad that I'm like I'm a 1611 01:20:33,720 --> 01:20:36,400 Speaker 1: bad person that I just wish that on someone. It 1612 01:20:36,479 --> 01:20:38,679 Speaker 1: was just a little arrow that went in my back. 1613 01:20:38,800 --> 01:20:41,120 Speaker 1: It's not I had a little bit of a bad 1614 01:20:41,479 --> 01:20:43,599 Speaker 1: I hurt my knee. It's like something it's a little 1615 01:20:43,640 --> 01:20:45,719 Speaker 1: accident that happened. I didn't choose to have that thought, 1616 01:20:45,720 --> 01:20:48,040 Speaker 1: and I can treat it and just go, oh well, 1617 01:20:48,040 --> 01:20:50,080 Speaker 1: I just have a bad knee today, as opposed to 1618 01:20:50,160 --> 01:20:52,880 Speaker 1: by I have a bad body. When you hurt your knee, 1619 01:20:52,880 --> 01:20:54,599 Speaker 1: you don't go my whole body. I mean, my mom 1620 01:20:54,640 --> 01:20:57,040 Speaker 1: says she's a broken woman, but like my mom is 1621 01:20:57,120 --> 01:20:58,920 Speaker 1: jumping to I'm a broken woman when it's really just 1622 01:20:59,000 --> 01:21:01,160 Speaker 1: her neck. So look at the things, look at the 1623 01:21:01,200 --> 01:21:04,760 Speaker 1: sadness in your life, look at the the fight you're in, 1624 01:21:04,800 --> 01:21:06,720 Speaker 1: you're with your boyfriend or whatever, and look at it 1625 01:21:06,760 --> 01:21:08,880 Speaker 1: as a part of you and not the whole you, 1626 01:21:09,120 --> 01:21:11,439 Speaker 1: because I just it's for some reason, it just were 1627 01:21:11,479 --> 01:21:13,280 Speaker 1: like watercolors where it's like a little drip and we 1628 01:21:13,400 --> 01:21:16,439 Speaker 1: like suddenly like everything becomes red and it's like it 1629 01:21:16,479 --> 01:21:19,240 Speaker 1: can just be a dot that you know is a 1630 01:21:19,280 --> 01:21:21,360 Speaker 1: part of you, but isn't the whole you. But the 1631 01:21:21,400 --> 01:21:23,599 Speaker 1: whole meat is pizza right now, because I am made 1632 01:21:23,640 --> 01:21:25,519 Speaker 1: out of pizza, and I will have it again tonight, 1633 01:21:25,520 --> 01:21:26,920 Speaker 1: and I can't wait to tell you about it tomorrow 1634 01:21:26,960 --> 01:21:30,520 Speaker 1: on the podcast. We'll be back tomorrow with more analogies 1635 01:21:30,520 --> 01:21:37,160 Speaker 1: and metaphors and similes. Thank you for listening, don't beat 1636 01:21:37,800 --> 01:21:42,040 Speaker 1: yeah just jack Jack. You're on a pizza. Yes, yeah, 1637 01:21:42,280 --> 01:21:44,200 Speaker 1: not a taco that I eat the insides out of 1638 01:21:44,240 --> 01:21:46,479 Speaker 1: and don't even let myself out Georgia. I mean, that's 1639 01:21:46,520 --> 01:21:48,400 Speaker 1: what I used to do, but not anymore. Pizza, Pizza 1640 01:21:48,439 --> 01:21:48,800 Speaker 1: for life.