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Speaker 1: All right time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more.

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Speaker 1: Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com

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Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 2: We could be reading your.

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Speaker 1: Letter live on the air, just like we're going to

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Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now.

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Speaker 2: That's for you, Jay, Muggle up and hold on tight.

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Speaker 2: We got it for you here. It is the Strawberry.

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Speaker 1: Letter subject he assumed I was stupid. Dear Stephen Shirley,

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Speaker 1: I'm thirty four years old and I was dating a

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Speaker 1: guy that's thirty two years old, and we broke up

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Speaker 1: because he said I am not a team player. A

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Speaker 1: week ago, he had to put his car in the

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Speaker 1: shop and he asked if I could pick him up

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Speaker 1: from the repair shop. I went by to get him

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Speaker 1: and he said his car would be ready in a week.

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Speaker 1: I had planned to drop him off at home and

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Speaker 1: go to dinner with my coworker. I got to his

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Speaker 1: house and went in to use a bathroom. I noticed

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Speaker 1: he was in his closet and he had a suitcase

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Speaker 1: on his bed. I asked him if he was going somewhere,

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Speaker 1: and he said he would be staying at my house

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Speaker 1: all week until his car was fixed. That way, he

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Speaker 1: wouldn't have to rent a car or have me driving

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Speaker 1: him around. Now, Stephen Shirley, I am a hard working,

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Speaker 1: independent woman and I always have been self sufficient and

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Speaker 1: had my own car and place to live. These men

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Speaker 1: I'm meeting nowadays think it's okay to lean on a

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Speaker 1: woman for support or have the woman go out of

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Speaker 1: her way for them. I was disappointed in him for

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Speaker 1: assuming he could stay at my house and he could

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Speaker 1: use my car without asking me first. I asked if

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Speaker 1: his insurance policy covered a rental car, and he said

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Speaker 1: he didn't include it in his policy because it would

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Speaker 1: have raised his premium. Here's the biggest issue I have

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Speaker 1: with all of this. If the roles were reversed, I

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Speaker 1: could never assume I am staying at his house and

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Speaker 1: he wouldn't let me drive his BMW for a week. Hell,

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Speaker 1: he wouldn't even offer to drop me off at work

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Speaker 1: and pick me up. After a heated discussion, I left

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Speaker 1: him at his house and went to dinner with my coworker.

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Speaker 1: Later that night, he broke up with me, and I

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Speaker 1: was stunned. Am I wrong to have such high standards. Hmm, well,

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Speaker 1: I'll say this, No, I don't think you're wrong to

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Speaker 1: have standards, high standards, standards, you know, Steve wrote a

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Speaker 1: whole book about that very thing, and act like a lady,

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Speaker 1: think like a man. Standards and requirements is what he

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Speaker 1: called it, and it's where a woman should, you know,

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Speaker 1: have certain expectations from her man, your man or ex

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Speaker 1: man is wrong, Yes, he is. For assuming he could

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Speaker 1: lay up on you without at least asking you first.

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Speaker 1: Communication is key here. You didn't say in the letter

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Speaker 1: how long you guys have been dating. You just said

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Speaker 1: you're thirty four and he's thirty two. But obviously it

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Speaker 1: wasn't long enough for you for him to be asking

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Speaker 1: you this. I don't think he was right for you anyway,

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Speaker 1: because you said if the roles were reversed, he wouldn't

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Speaker 1: do the same for you, and it sounded like you

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Speaker 1: were pretty clear about that. So why were you even

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Speaker 1: stunned that he broke it off with you when you said, no,

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Speaker 1: I think he's moved on, and I think you should

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Speaker 1: move on as well.

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Speaker 3: Steve, this is an interesting letter because I find some

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Speaker 3: problems in both of these the letter writer and the

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Speaker 3: guy and I'll.

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Speaker 2: Share it with you.

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Speaker 3: He assumed I was stupid, Well, that topic of the letter,

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Speaker 3: I'm not sure that he assumed you were stupid. I

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Speaker 3: think he assumed a bit much. And i'll show you

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Speaker 3: what I mean. Thirty four years old, you're dating a

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Speaker 3: guy that's thirty two. We broke up because he said

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Speaker 3: I'm not a team player. Now, based on this letter,

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Speaker 3: I think he's right in saying you're not a team player.

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Speaker 3: But I also think he went about this thought wrong way.

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Speaker 3: So I think there's wrong on both sides in this letter.

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Speaker 3: A week ago, he with his car in the shop

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Speaker 3: and he asked her if you could pick him up

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Speaker 3: from the repair shop. I went by to get him.

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Speaker 3: He said his car would be ready in a week.

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Speaker 3: I planned to drop him off at home and go

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Speaker 3: to dinner with my coworkers. Okay, that's fair.

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Speaker 2: I got to his house and went to use the bathroom.

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Speaker 3: I noticed he was in his closet and he had

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Speaker 3: a suitcase on his bed. I asked him if he

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Speaker 3: was going somewhere, and he said he was gonna stay

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Speaker 3: in my house all week until the car was fixed.

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Speaker 3: That way he wouldn't have to rent a car or

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Speaker 3: have me drive him around. Now, he's wrong right here

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Speaker 3: because he assumed this. He didn't have the courtesy or

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Speaker 3: the decency that asked this woman. So he was wrong,

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Speaker 3: like two left shoes for this. Now, Steven Sherlo, I'm

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Speaker 3: a hard working, independent woman. I've always been self sufficient

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Speaker 3: to have my own car in the place to live.

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Speaker 3: These men i'm meet him nowadays think it's okay to

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Speaker 3: lean on a woman's for support or have a woman

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Speaker 3: go out of her way for them. Now we are

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Speaker 3: dealing with the woman who has some preconceived notions about men.

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Speaker 3: She has put all men in the same category, or

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Speaker 3: at least all the men she's meeting.

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Speaker 2: So obviously she's been.

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Speaker 3: Meeting a lot of men that mussoline on women. And

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Speaker 3: I understand her feeling that way, but he was wrong

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Speaker 3: for assuming this. But she just went, Okay, here we

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Speaker 3: go again, same old, same, Oh these dudes updating nowadays,

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Speaker 3: I all think this way. Then she said, I was

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Speaker 3: disappointed in him for assuming he could stay at my

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Speaker 3: house and he could use my car without asking me first.

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Speaker 3: He had absolutely no right to assume. That's the problem

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Speaker 3: in this letter, and he assumed something that obviously shouldn't

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Speaker 3: have been taken for granted, so he was wrong for that.

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Speaker 3: Then she asked if his insurance policy covered winter car.

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Speaker 2: And then he said he didn't include.

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Speaker 3: That his policy because it would have raised his premiums.

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Speaker 2: I don't know how much extra that is.

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Speaker 3: The rental car clause, and I don't know how much

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Speaker 3: that raises the premium. But I was always taught that

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Speaker 3: I do some prevention is worth a pound of cure,

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Speaker 3: and right now a rental car is the pound of cure.

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Speaker 3: He would have saved hisself some problems with that little

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Speaker 3: bit of money to just pay for that clause in.

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Speaker 2: His insurance problesy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Now, when I come back, I will show you

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Speaker 3: what's really wrong here, because she has some notions about

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Speaker 3: him not being able to do the same thing I shared.

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Speaker 2: When we come back.

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Speaker 1: All right, thank you, Steve. We'll have part two of

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Speaker 1: your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.

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Speaker 1: Subject for today's Strawberry letter, he assumed I was stupid.

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Speaker 1: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening

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Speaker 1: Steve Harvey Morning Show.

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Speaker 4: Lee will be six. In September. We are at Saint

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Speaker 4: Jude because she was diagnosed with leukemia. Her treatment is

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Speaker 4: receiving a chemotherapy and it is a two and a

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Speaker 4: half to three year process. Fact that Saint Jude does

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Speaker 4: not send a bill has been a god seeing childhood

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Speaker 4: cancer needs to be eradicated.

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Speaker 1: You can help kids fight childhood cancer and diseases like

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Speaker 1: sickle cell. Please become a Saint Jude partner in Hope

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Speaker 1: today by texting SHMS to seven eight five eight three three.

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Speaker 1: All right, come on, Steve. Let's recap today's Strawberry letters.

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Speaker 1: Subject he assumed I was stupid.

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Speaker 3: Well, I don't know if he assumed he was stupid,

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Speaker 3: but he was stupid for assuming In this latter he

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Speaker 3: got his car fixed. The woman she asked him to

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Speaker 3: come pick him up the riding home, told her that

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Speaker 3: his call is gonna be in the shop full week.

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Speaker 3: She had plans of dropping the man off at home

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Speaker 3: and going to dinner with some co workers. She got

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Speaker 3: to the man's house and went to the bathroom. She

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Speaker 3: came out he had a suitcase out. She ask the

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Speaker 3: man if he was going somewhere. He said, I'm gonna

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Speaker 3: come over here and stay at your house for a week,

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Speaker 3: so I ain't got to rent no car, and you

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Speaker 3: ain't got to run around picking me up. She was

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Speaker 3: offended because he assumed that he could come and stay

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Speaker 3: at her house, and.

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Speaker 2: She's absolutely correct. He should not have assumed.

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Speaker 3: He should have asked this woman, Hey, I was just thinking,

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Speaker 3: do you think it would be okay if I stayed

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Speaker 3: at your house? Because I don't have a car and

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Speaker 3: I might need something to look I hate to be

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Speaker 3: a bother, but you know, blah blah blah blah, it

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Speaker 3: would have sounded better, but you assumed. Then the woman

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Speaker 3: turned around and ask him does his insurance policy cover that?

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Speaker 3: He said he didn't put it in his policy because

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Speaker 3: he ain't wanted to boost up the premiums. Well, now

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Speaker 3: we got a little bit of thing going right here,

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Speaker 3: because the guy is dead.

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Speaker 2: Wrong for assuming this.

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Speaker 3: But now she was disappointed in him for assuming he

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Speaker 3: could stay at his house and he could use my

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Speaker 3: car without asking me first.

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Speaker 2: She's absolutely correct in this.

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Speaker 3: But now the dude, there was another party that I

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Speaker 3: wanted to show you, ask him if you can go somewhere?

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Speaker 2: Said Da, Da, Da da.

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Speaker 3: Anyway, I might have missed that point, but anyway, she's

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Speaker 3: a hard working independent woman.

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Speaker 2: Here we go.

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Speaker 3: This is the part these men I'm meeting nowadays think

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Speaker 3: it's okay to lean on a woman for support or

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Speaker 3: have the woman go out of her way for them.

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Speaker 2: Man, that's a bad look, fellas.

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Speaker 3: And for her to be feeling that way, obviously she's

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Speaker 3: been dealing with just that in her relationship and she

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Speaker 3: probably thought to herself, Okay, here we go again. Dude

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Speaker 3: was wrong and for assuming that he doesn't want to

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Speaker 3: go up, his insurance policy premias go up, so he

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Speaker 3: left that out. Then she says, here's the big issue

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Speaker 3: I had with all this. If the roles were reversed,

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Speaker 3: I could never assume I'm staying at his house.

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Speaker 2: So oh whoa, Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So now you're dating a guy and you said, if

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Speaker 3: the roles were reversed, I could never assume I'm staying

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Speaker 3: at his house. My question is, and you know this exactly,

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Speaker 3: and you know this, and then he wouldn't let me

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Speaker 3: drive his BMW for a week. Wait a minute, and

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Speaker 3: you know this, and he wouldn't even offer to drop

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Speaker 3: me at work and pick me up. Wait a minute,

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Speaker 3: and you know this, What the hell are you dating

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Speaker 3: this dude? For you dating a dude who won't go

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Speaker 3: out of his way for you?

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Speaker 2: At all, and you know this.

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Speaker 3: So after he had discussion, I left him at the

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Speaker 3: house and went to dinner with my coworker. Later that night,

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Speaker 3: he broke up with me, and I was stunned. Am

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Speaker 3: I wrong for having such high standards? Wait a minute,

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry, your standards aren't high enough.

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Speaker 2: Excuse me? Why are you stunned?

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Speaker 3: Here's a dude that would not offer to let you

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Speaker 3: stay at his house if your car broke down. Here's

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Speaker 3: a dude who would not let you drive his car

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Speaker 3: if your car broke down. And here's a dude who

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Speaker 3: won't pick you up and drop you off at work

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Speaker 3: if your car broke down.

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Speaker 2: Now you stunned because you broke up? What? I was

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Speaker 2: stunned that she was stunned? Right, I'm stunned that this

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Speaker 2: is who you dating.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, knowing all that you know about this young man,

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Speaker 3: you're still in it. Here's y'all's problem. This must not

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Speaker 3: be a serious relationship. It can't be. And the two

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Speaker 3: of you don't have a clear definition of what you are.

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Speaker 2: Because if this is.

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Speaker 3: Your man and you are his woman, all these stuff

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Speaker 3: y'all having problem with in this letter seemed to me

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Speaker 3: would be automatic. If this is my woman, Why would

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Speaker 3: I have a problem with her staying in my house

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Speaker 3: for a week? If this is your man, why would

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Speaker 3: you have a problem with him staying at your house

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Speaker 3: this week? But the real problem is he assumed some

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Speaker 3: things about you, and you know some things about him.

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Speaker 3: He assumes teacher to stay with you, drive your car,

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Speaker 3: and you pick him up and take him work. You

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Speaker 3: know you couldn't stay with him. You can't drive his

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Speaker 3: car and he's going to pick you up and drop

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Speaker 3: you off. We don't have a match here because we

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Speaker 3: don't have a relationship. So you went out to dinner

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Speaker 3: with your girlfriend, You came back and you find out

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Speaker 3: he tell you he breaking up with me because you're

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Speaker 3: not a team player. Well, the problem is, ain't either

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Speaker 3: one of y'all team players, right team? So what we're

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Speaker 3: talking about him? You're not a team player. He's not

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Speaker 3: a team player. Don't neither one of y'all. This ain't

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Speaker 3: a team y'all got.

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Speaker 2: Y'all ain't even got.

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Speaker 3: A team, So I don't know what to tell you.

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Speaker 2: No, you ain't got nothing here.

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Speaker 3: Of the keep it moving, hell, y'all, Why y'all seeing

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Speaker 3: each other? It's ragney, right, relationship y'all got, and you

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Speaker 3: stunned because he broke up. Hell now he's stunned because

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Speaker 3: you won't let him stay with it. But he was

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Speaker 3: wrong for assuming and should at least ask a woman

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Speaker 3: give her the courtesy. Yeah, but then the reason you

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Speaker 3: really ain't got no rental carse.

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Speaker 2: You ain't want your premiums up? Okay, red flat, definitely

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Speaker 2: a rag Fred flag.

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Speaker 3: That's my right, lady, y'all needed you need to say

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Speaker 3: good riddance to this and go on about your business.

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Speaker 1: All right, You're right, Steve, Thank you. Post your comments

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Speaker 1: on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM on Instagram

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Speaker 1: and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand.

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Speaker 1: You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.