1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,960 Speaker 1: We just moved in with my husband's family, but they're 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:06,360 Speaker 1: hoarders filthy. My husband and I got married this year 3 00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:09,240 Speaker 1: after being introduced by his cousin. We've only known each 4 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:11,200 Speaker 1: other for nine months, and most of the time we 5 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:13,720 Speaker 1: were in a long distance relationship. I've only met him 6 00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:16,880 Speaker 1: twice in person in Thailand. By the way, this comes 7 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:18,439 Speaker 1: from my Life Choices one on one on the r 8 00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:21,239 Speaker 1: slash Okay storytime subrought it so before we got married, 9 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:23,840 Speaker 1: I thought we had discussed everything openly. I was very 10 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:27,440 Speaker 1: transparent about my dysfunctional family and we bonded over our 11 00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:31,200 Speaker 1: shared traumas. Since he also had family issues, I was 12 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:33,640 Speaker 1: told he was living alone and we planned to move 13 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:36,040 Speaker 1: to a more spacious apartment once I joined him. He 14 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,560 Speaker 1: also mentioned wanting to take care of his aunt, who 15 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:40,800 Speaker 1: was living in Thailand at the time. His parents live 16 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:43,120 Speaker 1: in Thailand while he is in Canada, and although his 17 00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:45,239 Speaker 1: family is spread out, they often meet up. 18 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:47,160 Speaker 2: However, However, after. 19 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:49,400 Speaker 1: His aunt and mother visited Canada last year, his aunt 20 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:52,680 Speaker 1: decided to stay and is now living with him. We 21 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:55,400 Speaker 1: got married in Thailand this year and I'm currently living 22 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:57,959 Speaker 1: here while staying in touch with his parents. He has 23 00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:01,120 Speaker 1: returned to Canada to live with his own I've already 24 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:04,720 Speaker 1: applied for a spousal visa and am waiting for approval. 25 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:07,200 Speaker 1: So they're kind of in two countries, him in Canada, 26 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:10,840 Speaker 1: her and Thailand. But since arriving in Thailand, I've had 27 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:14,320 Speaker 1: a difficult time with his mother, who has a severe 28 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,959 Speaker 1: hoarding problem that I was never informed about. When his 29 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:19,880 Speaker 1: parents met me at the airport, my mother in law 30 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:23,720 Speaker 1: had more luggage than I did, like for this trip 31 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:27,520 Speaker 1: to the airport to visit, not to visit, like she lives. 32 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:30,880 Speaker 2: To the airport. Yeah, what do you need luggage to 33 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:33,039 Speaker 2: drive to an airport for exactly? 34 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:35,640 Speaker 1: That is weird, and she carried a lot of things 35 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:38,200 Speaker 1: with her. I initially thought her frequent trips to the 36 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:41,080 Speaker 1: restroom were due to a medical condition, but I later 37 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:45,480 Speaker 1: found out she was using public toilets to clean dishes 38 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:50,920 Speaker 1: and wash vegetables she had packed from home, taking advantage 39 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:52,919 Speaker 1: of the free soap and water. 40 00:01:53,160 --> 00:02:02,480 Speaker 3: Disgusting or brilliant John would do this was it would 41 00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:08,160 Speaker 3: It would be n everyone a good deal out of everyone, it. 42 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:10,480 Speaker 2: Would be me. But I would never do this. I've 43 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:12,000 Speaker 2: been most likely in the group to do it, but 44 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:12,440 Speaker 2: I would. 45 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:15,240 Speaker 1: Never sure, John, I would never sure. She is the 46 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:20,680 Speaker 1: biggest cheapskate I have ever encountered. She collects free water 47 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:24,720 Speaker 1: in plastic bottles she brings from home. I mean hoarder 48 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:30,120 Speaker 1: or environmentally conscious. I mean, I'm just seeing green flags. Honestly, 49 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:33,960 Speaker 1: what's her number? Damn, She's the biggest deeps get every cotter. 50 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:36,840 Speaker 1: She collects free water in plastic bottles she brings from home, 51 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:41,920 Speaker 1: hoards tissues from public restrooms and hospitals, eats spoiled and 52 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,840 Speaker 1: rotten food. Yeah, it's not going to landfill, which she 53 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:48,320 Speaker 1: shares with us. Sounds like she's sharing and caring. The 54 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:51,040 Speaker 1: shocking part is that they are financially well off, so 55 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:54,560 Speaker 1: it's not a matter of necessity. I mean, rich people 56 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:55,919 Speaker 1: stay rich by not spending money. 57 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:59,320 Speaker 2: Dude, she needs an examination. 58 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:04,600 Speaker 1: Of a freaking thrive this economy. The real issue is 59 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:07,000 Speaker 1: that my husband never mentioned any of this to me. 60 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:10,400 Speaker 1: When I bring up these bizarre behaviors and refuse to participate, 61 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,920 Speaker 1: he dismisses them as normal and expects me to do 62 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,119 Speaker 1: the same. I mean literally, John, every time he comes 63 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:16,720 Speaker 1: back from the airport, he's like, Dude, you would not 64 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:20,000 Speaker 1: believe the hall I got all the free toilet paper, 65 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:24,240 Speaker 1: all these vegetables that I washed for free with free soap. 66 00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:27,320 Speaker 2: It was crazy. It was crazy. And then when I flushed, 67 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:30,680 Speaker 2: it pulls all the suns away, like it's this ingenious 68 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:34,960 Speaker 2: cleaning system, crazy, so grossy crazy. 69 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:37,600 Speaker 1: When I bring up these bizarre behaviors, he divinces them 70 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:39,640 Speaker 1: as normal expects me to do the same. I can't 71 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:42,840 Speaker 1: handle living this way, and I refuse to be dragged 72 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:45,080 Speaker 1: into it. There was a time where we went to 73 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:47,640 Speaker 1: a restaurant and I wasn't allowed to order food because 74 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:50,520 Speaker 1: she wanted to save money. She ordered for herself, and 75 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:53,360 Speaker 1: I wasn't able to eat enough because she only ordered 76 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:57,320 Speaker 1: side dishes and kept asking for free vegetable refills. Dude, 77 00:03:57,360 --> 00:04:00,440 Speaker 1: thrifty again. I sometimes felt like I was treating as 78 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:04,800 Speaker 1: a servant, carrying things around and following her around. While 79 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:08,440 Speaker 1: she may have a good heart, deep deep deep down, 80 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:12,080 Speaker 1: her constant criticism and control behavior make it impossible for 81 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:13,520 Speaker 1: me to get along with her. If I want to 82 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,920 Speaker 1: spend money on basic needs like food or water, she 83 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:19,760 Speaker 1: criticizes my choices, saying one option is cheaper or healthier. 84 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,640 Speaker 1: She goes to extremes to save money, like refusing to 85 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:25,760 Speaker 1: pay for document copies at a bank and instead asking 86 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:27,160 Speaker 1: them to do it for free. She would send me 87 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:30,240 Speaker 1: on unnecessary trips to farther places just to save a 88 00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:33,360 Speaker 1: few cents, even when the cost and effort don't justify 89 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:37,360 Speaker 1: the savings. Her reasoning is often irrational, and she's showing 90 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:41,400 Speaker 1: signs of memory issues. Hmmm, I mean yeah, it could 91 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:44,480 Speaker 1: be like I think this intense saving and in both 92 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:47,200 Speaker 1: the monetary sense and just like the physical sense with 93 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:50,120 Speaker 1: boarding is probably a sign of some mental condition. 94 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:53,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, oh definitely, and maybe something like Alzheimer's or dementia 95 00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:57,159 Speaker 2: that's like more associative, like getting older. But also OPI's 96 00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,400 Speaker 2: partner mentioned like, oh, like this is normal novel. That 97 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:01,080 Speaker 2: kind of leads me to believe she's like done this 98 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:01,680 Speaker 2: since he was. 99 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:04,680 Speaker 1: Like a while so baby, then it's probably not a 100 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:06,040 Speaker 1: developing disease. 101 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,839 Speaker 2: It's just something that she's always had. Yeah, maybe even exacerbated. 102 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:11,960 Speaker 1: But yeah, I can never relax when she's around. Whenever 103 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:14,640 Speaker 1: she visited my apartment, I'm anxious about what she'll bring 104 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:18,359 Speaker 1: with her. She often arrives with dirty, torn plastic bags 105 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:24,000 Speaker 1: in tissue she's hoarded, some of which are infested with ants, cockroaches, 106 00:05:24,279 --> 00:05:26,640 Speaker 1: and spiders. Dude, so if you would freak out. She 107 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:27,279 Speaker 1: hates ants. 108 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:28,920 Speaker 2: Oh hope, so frea. 109 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:33,200 Speaker 1: Sofia hates ants. Mingming says, parasite in the brain. That 110 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:36,679 Speaker 1: freaks me out. Sometimes I don't remember which words are words, 111 00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:38,520 Speaker 1: you know, Like I'll try to be fine a word, 112 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:40,479 Speaker 1: and I'm like, do I have a parasite in my brain? 113 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:41,920 Speaker 2: Do you ever think that? 114 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:46,520 Speaker 1: What? What does that ever happened to you? It doesn't know, 115 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:48,960 Speaker 1: you don't no, no, you don't. 116 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:53,159 Speaker 2: Like sometimes okay, I'm sometimes worried like that, I that. 117 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:57,159 Speaker 1: I forget things too much. Yeah, dude, same, I'm like 118 00:05:57,279 --> 00:06:00,640 Speaker 1: hoping it's just like working in a fast paced world 119 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:03,159 Speaker 1: that's just rotting my brain and not like the internal. 120 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:05,680 Speaker 2: Criscular brain ride regular brain kind we all know. 121 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:09,240 Speaker 1: The kid that you know, like like puts food on 122 00:06:09,279 --> 00:06:13,360 Speaker 1: the table exactly. I love to clean up the mess 123 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:16,440 Speaker 1: and deal with the anxiety of her presence. She asks 124 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:20,880 Speaker 1: intrusive questions and criticizes my answers, adding to my stress. 125 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:23,120 Speaker 1: Once she even told my husband and his aunt that 126 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:26,000 Speaker 1: I only wanted money from her, which deeply hurt me, 127 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:28,840 Speaker 1: especially since I've been cooking and cleaning for them since 128 00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:32,200 Speaker 1: I arrived, despite living separately. The stress and anxiety she 129 00:06:32,279 --> 00:06:36,600 Speaker 1: causes are overwhelming and often I have chest pains at night, 130 00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:39,920 Speaker 1: and I regret coming to Thailand. Dang and Thailand is 131 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:41,159 Speaker 1: a beautiful like place. 132 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:44,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, this is yeah, like hope he should be having. 133 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:49,440 Speaker 1: The high land of her life not but. 134 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:54,240 Speaker 2: Not this insane experience. Yeah. And her partner should I 135 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:57,080 Speaker 2: get that it maybe have like maybe normalized into his brain. 136 00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:59,440 Speaker 2: But he's not even like like she's like, hey, like 137 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,800 Speaker 2: something's very very wrong. I'm not like I'm not feeling good. 138 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:03,440 Speaker 2: He's just like, don't worry about it. 139 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:06,680 Speaker 1: And I feel like all the relationships are like you know, 140 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:09,800 Speaker 1: they're so intertwined, interdependent, like you know, it's it's not 141 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:12,000 Speaker 1: it's not her mom. She just can't really say anything. 142 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:15,560 Speaker 1: It's like her fiance or her husband's mom. So it's like, 143 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:19,200 Speaker 1: I think you really have this like these interlocking relationship 144 00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:21,760 Speaker 1: dynamics and these strings that are like I feel like, 145 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:23,920 Speaker 1: just get the whole situation tied up. 146 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:30,520 Speaker 2: You know, Sam, that joke didn't really land plain joke. No, no, no, 147 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:36,600 Speaker 2: it was it was Thaie Land. Wow. You know what's 148 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:40,720 Speaker 2: so funny? I keep saying a joke. Sam Fine invents 149 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:44,560 Speaker 2: a complete other meaning for it, other, anything other than 150 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:52,440 Speaker 2: the actual intended meaning. Land. Oh my god, dude, good stuff. 151 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:57,120 Speaker 1: It really fine, says, just say it's pouquet. I'm pretty 152 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:58,000 Speaker 1: sure it's pronounced. 153 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:03,120 Speaker 2: I've seen family who catt Yeah, censor that, editors, I 154 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:07,360 Speaker 2: think I can't say that. Who quete? Yeah, definitely bouquet. 155 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:12,400 Speaker 1: The worst part is that my husband doesn't understand how 156 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:15,160 Speaker 1: I feel. We've had conflicts because of this, but I've 157 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:18,800 Speaker 1: lost hope of him ever understanding me. Which is I mean, 158 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:21,080 Speaker 1: if you feel like that, that's not a good relationship. 159 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,360 Speaker 1: What No, Yeah, what are we doing? I've stopped trying 160 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:27,200 Speaker 1: to explain my feelings because no matter how hard I try, 161 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:30,120 Speaker 1: he tells me to be patient and dismisses his mother's 162 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:33,640 Speaker 1: behavior as quirks. I feel completely alone in this new family, 163 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:36,559 Speaker 1: with no one on my side and no emotional support. 164 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,520 Speaker 1: One day, he told me that his mother would be 165 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:43,040 Speaker 1: living with us in Canada in the future because he 166 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:44,880 Speaker 1: wants to take care of her. I did a little 167 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:48,600 Speaker 1: Donald Trump there for a second. Living in Canada, no 168 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:52,040 Speaker 1: one gets there's no mess. We gotta put borders up 169 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:53,560 Speaker 1: between us and your mother. 170 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:58,160 Speaker 2: No more toilet vegetables than the cleanest and the greatest. 171 00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:00,600 Speaker 2: You don't even need to flush them in. So good. 172 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:03,360 Speaker 2: Have you guys heard Dakota's Trump impression? 173 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:10,439 Speaker 1: Oh no, bro, oh dude, I'm excited. Oh no, oh, oh. 174 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:12,000 Speaker 2: No, He's really good. I'm excited. 175 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:15,160 Speaker 1: This was the breaking point for me, and I've started 176 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:18,720 Speaker 1: losing my feelings for him because of these ongoing problems, 177 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:22,920 Speaker 1: which I totally understand. I understand. Jellyba says, I heard it, 178 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:26,120 Speaker 1: and please stop. I imagine that's my Trump impression and 179 00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:29,800 Speaker 1: not Dakota's. But all you see, all he sees is 180 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:33,080 Speaker 1: that I'm not close to him, not the underlying issues 181 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:36,000 Speaker 1: that have led to this point. I'm exhausted and tired 182 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,480 Speaker 1: of trying to explain what's going on. If his mother 183 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:41,160 Speaker 1: does end up living with us, I won't be able 184 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:43,720 Speaker 1: to stay with them now. I'm not living full time 185 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:46,760 Speaker 1: with them, and I'm already distressed, right, so it's like 186 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:48,200 Speaker 1: it's she's not even living full time. 187 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:48,959 Speaker 2: It always sucks. 188 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:51,480 Speaker 1: One of the reasons behind the situation is that his 189 00:09:51,559 --> 00:09:54,240 Speaker 1: mother is the one who invested the money for his 190 00:09:54,320 --> 00:10:00,440 Speaker 1: stock market ventures, so he sees her as his employer. No, However, 191 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,439 Speaker 1: I am not her employee. I've already told him once 192 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:05,360 Speaker 1: I'm in Canada, I will get a job and earn 193 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:07,880 Speaker 1: my own money. He wants me to get closer to 194 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:09,959 Speaker 1: his family, but how can I do that when I'm 195 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,640 Speaker 1: constantly anxious and stressed about them. If she wants to 196 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:14,560 Speaker 1: save money and live her life that way, she's free 197 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,760 Speaker 1: to do so, but she has no right to criticize 198 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:20,160 Speaker 1: or pressure be into following her methods. But you should 199 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:24,400 Speaker 1: always follow us on YouTube because we stream every weekday 200 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:25,360 Speaker 1: at three pm PST. 201 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:29,280 Speaker 2: So to join our livestream, consider yourself pressured pressure, pressures pressure. 202 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:31,120 Speaker 1: I have a strong sense of self respect and cannot 203 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:34,080 Speaker 1: allow myself to be treated that way. But he expects 204 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:35,679 Speaker 1: me to settle for it, and I simply can't. If 205 00:10:35,679 --> 00:10:37,480 Speaker 1: this happens, I believe I need to start preparing for 206 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:40,040 Speaker 1: my future. Also, I'm in this marriage with the knowledge 207 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,880 Speaker 1: that me and him will be living together in the future, 208 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:44,160 Speaker 1: not with how things are turning out. 209 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:47,240 Speaker 2: Right now, you know we went into the story. The 210 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:50,679 Speaker 2: story feels like a mother in law story, but in actuality, 211 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:55,960 Speaker 2: OPI never respected her once needs and feelings of this 212 00:10:56,040 --> 00:11:00,160 Speaker 2: whole situation with the mother in law. Wait op, sorry, 213 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:07,040 Speaker 2: now partner whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. Yeah. To me, 214 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,720 Speaker 2: that like, obviously the mother in law's hoarding and everything 215 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:13,880 Speaker 2: is like horrendous and definitely an issue. But the fact 216 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:17,880 Speaker 2: that her partner is literally doing nothing, nothing about it 217 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:19,760 Speaker 2: is like, okay, so what are we what are we 218 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:20,680 Speaker 2: doing here? Yeah? 219 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:24,120 Speaker 1: I mean I think that that that is a red flag. 220 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,680 Speaker 1: And the fact that like she's complaining about all this 221 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,880 Speaker 1: stuff and saying like, hey, like this is really an issue, 222 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:31,240 Speaker 1: and he's like, oh honey, I understand by the way 223 00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:34,000 Speaker 1: she's moving in with us in Canada, it's like he's 224 00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:37,040 Speaker 1: not hearing any of the issues that she's bringing up 225 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,960 Speaker 1: and honestly only gonna it seems like it's only going 226 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:43,240 Speaker 1: to get worse. Yeah, And it seems like for this 227 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:46,880 Speaker 1: guy marrying him will be marrying his mom too. 228 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:49,520 Speaker 2: When she also said he viewsed her as his employer, 229 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:52,320 Speaker 2: I'm like previous the mom as her employees. He is 230 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:55,360 Speaker 2: so she is so entrenched in his life and he 231 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:58,000 Speaker 2: clearly has shown that he won't put up any boundaries 232 00:11:58,040 --> 00:11:59,679 Speaker 2: or respect and you know what, you know what, even 233 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:02,040 Speaker 2: if he did, even if he did his best. I 234 00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:04,800 Speaker 2: don't know, like this is this is such a crazy case, 235 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:07,160 Speaker 2: like she she can never live for a life normally 236 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:10,120 Speaker 2: around the mother in law is what it's looking like. 237 00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:12,640 Speaker 4: I feel like, yeah, someone I think Wingles said it. 238 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:15,360 Speaker 4: Hoarding is not the correct word here, is it. It's 239 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:19,240 Speaker 4: like it's like too, it's not a clean cling. No, no, 240 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:20,480 Speaker 4: I don't even I was gonna say clean freak. But 241 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:22,400 Speaker 4: it's not even like the reverse of clean freak. 242 00:12:22,559 --> 00:12:25,640 Speaker 2: It's the show Extreme Cheap Skates. This is the stuff 243 00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:28,640 Speaker 2: you see where they have this like a completely delusional 244 00:12:28,679 --> 00:12:32,400 Speaker 2: compulsion that drives every single decision they make of like 245 00:12:32,559 --> 00:12:35,520 Speaker 2: doing something crazy like washing vegetables and criticizing everyone around 246 00:12:35,559 --> 00:12:36,400 Speaker 2: them for not doing the same. 247 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:40,839 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, So my question to Chat and to John 248 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:44,680 Speaker 1: and Keon in your situation, yes, having gone through everything 249 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:47,400 Speaker 1: OP is going through right now, do you move out 250 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:48,040 Speaker 1: and break up? 251 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:51,640 Speaker 2: Honestly, I think you could go to your partner and 252 00:12:51,679 --> 00:12:55,280 Speaker 2: be like, here's the deal, I cannot live my life 253 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:58,360 Speaker 2: with your mother in law like doing all these things 254 00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:01,440 Speaker 2: and giving me dang near for heart attack. Either we 255 00:13:01,559 --> 00:13:03,520 Speaker 2: try to put up really strong boundaries and like I 256 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:05,680 Speaker 2: can't even promise that after the boundaries are put up 257 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:07,600 Speaker 2: that it'll work out, but like we can try to 258 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:10,440 Speaker 2: put up all these boundaries and you know you have 259 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:12,440 Speaker 2: to protect me from all this because this is your mother, 260 00:13:12,679 --> 00:13:14,160 Speaker 2: or I don't think this is going to work out, 261 00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:16,559 Speaker 2: And see what he says. Probably he'll say heck no, 262 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:18,760 Speaker 2: then move on. But I think I think you could 263 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:19,880 Speaker 2: give it that one. 264 00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:22,360 Speaker 1: I think you need to set that those boundaries because 265 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:23,960 Speaker 1: I think OPI has been saying like, hey, like this 266 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,640 Speaker 1: is not working out with like living with your mom. 267 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:28,000 Speaker 1: But I don't know if she's said like, hey I 268 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,320 Speaker 1: am I am close to being done right now. Yes, 269 00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:34,840 Speaker 1: so have an open, honest communication. If nothing happens from that, 270 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:37,240 Speaker 1: then I think move on. Jose Medela Burqua says he 271 00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:39,640 Speaker 1: doesn't listen to Op though. Yeah, so like he hasn't 272 00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:42,400 Speaker 1: really listened. It probably won't and and you know, one 273 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:45,360 Speaker 1: last ditch effort, but like the relationship has already been 274 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:48,440 Speaker 1: going downhill from the beginning of the story where she's like, 275 00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:50,959 Speaker 1: he won't listen to my thoughts and feelings, like you've 276 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:51,880 Speaker 1: already lost thought. 277 00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:53,480 Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, it's already over, but you. 278 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:55,560 Speaker 1: Know what's not over? What is that this episode? Because 279 00:13:55,559 --> 00:13:58,800 Speaker 1: we got another story's already pulled up. 280 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:01,480 Speaker 2: Let's dive into it. I refuse to let my mother 281 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:04,760 Speaker 2: in law hold my newborn babies because my other son 282 00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:05,600 Speaker 2: broke her wrist. 283 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:10,120 Speaker 1: Ouch baby broke her wrist. That's a strong, Herculean baby. 284 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:13,400 Speaker 2: Strong baby. Maybe it was this fat head just crushing 285 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:13,880 Speaker 2: her wrists. 286 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:18,360 Speaker 1: Dude, John's fat head, every fat babyhead, let me tell 287 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:18,880 Speaker 1: you he did. 288 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,760 Speaker 2: My mother in law get along fairly well, but she 289 00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:25,320 Speaker 2: can be very overbearing and invasive, especially when she gets 290 00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:27,560 Speaker 2: her mind fixated on something. She lives out of state 291 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,600 Speaker 2: most of the year, so it's usually not a big deal. 292 00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:32,320 Speaker 2: But this comes from Inevitable Dealer seven thirty five on 293 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:35,520 Speaker 2: our slash Okay storytipe So, I'm currently thirty three and 294 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:39,320 Speaker 2: five months pregnant, five and five months pregnant with d 295 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,720 Speaker 2: D boy twin girls. Wow, that was d demon. I 296 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:43,440 Speaker 2: don't know. Maybe that's the Can you guys tell it, 297 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:45,840 Speaker 2: tell me what means? Please help us. I'm because I'm 298 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:48,680 Speaker 2: not sure. It's my husband and I's first pregnancy and 299 00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:51,440 Speaker 2: will be our last as I am getting tubul legation 300 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:53,080 Speaker 2: during my upcoming. 301 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:56,000 Speaker 1: Sea section tubul legation. I guess that's like like tubes time. 302 00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:59,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, babies anymore, I'm guessing. Also, his mother came up 303 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:01,320 Speaker 2: early to hel help us around the house prep for 304 00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:03,560 Speaker 2: the babies, et cetera, et cetera. She was helpful but 305 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:06,600 Speaker 2: wouldn't slow down. She kept going at a whirlwind pace 306 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:09,000 Speaker 2: that was like the house was on fire and things 307 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:11,600 Speaker 2: needed to be done immediately. I was starting to have 308 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:15,240 Speaker 2: beginning symptoms of preclampsia. What are all these words that 309 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,040 Speaker 2: I do not know? Yeah? Could you key on? Could 310 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:19,280 Speaker 2: you look up preclampsia and see I. 311 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:22,960 Speaker 4: Looked up d D yes and d D twins. This 312 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:26,920 Speaker 4: is what I found the first thing. Yeah, yeh diekchor 313 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:31,640 Speaker 4: or that mean twins that have their own placenta and 314 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:32,840 Speaker 4: amniotic sack. 315 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:35,440 Speaker 1: I don't okay, oh wait wait wait wait wait wait wait, 316 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:37,800 Speaker 1: that's is that fraternal? Ask if d D means fraternal, 317 00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:41,120 Speaker 1: because if they have their own placenta and embryonic sack, 318 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,400 Speaker 1: that might mean they're like not in the same I 319 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:43,800 Speaker 1: think I do. 320 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:45,640 Speaker 2: Sound like we have like at least there on placenta 321 00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:48,640 Speaker 2: and that maybe that means they're also fraternal or something. Yeah, yeah, 322 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:51,200 Speaker 2: they're like developed at the same time instead of like 323 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:52,560 Speaker 2: you guys are correct. That's what it is. 324 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:56,600 Speaker 4: It's just I guess, like a funnier way of saying that. 325 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:01,320 Speaker 2: I'm starting to have beginning symptoms of preclamsia before her 326 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:04,720 Speaker 2: arrival and was told to calm it down immediately, to 327 00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:07,800 Speaker 2: which I did until she came up. Once she was here, 328 00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:10,560 Speaker 2: she kept trying to take over everything instead of putting 329 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:13,280 Speaker 2: together the twins rooms, organizing it how she wanted to, 330 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,520 Speaker 2: and was getting angry at me when I would set boundaries. 331 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:19,840 Speaker 1: Katie Hanson says preclamsia is extremely high blood pressure that 332 00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:22,040 Speaker 1: can be deadly to both mom and baby. 333 00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:24,640 Speaker 2: WHOA, I didn't want to interrupt you, John, Oh dude, 334 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:26,080 Speaker 2: you can interrupt me all day. 335 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,760 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's pretty much that. Just a serious medical condition 336 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:32,400 Speaker 4: that can occur during pregnancy or after giving birth, and 337 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:35,400 Speaker 4: it is characterized by high blood pressure and protein in 338 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:36,200 Speaker 4: the urine. 339 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:39,360 Speaker 2: I think that I remember this word before at some point, 340 00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:44,480 Speaker 2: Riley not that kind of protein, big protein salivating. I know, dude, 341 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:46,440 Speaker 2: he got way too excited over there. I was still 342 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:49,120 Speaker 2: grateful for her help, despite the infuriating way that she 343 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:51,600 Speaker 2: does things sometimes, because it allowed me to be home 344 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:54,040 Speaker 2: my husband to continue working as long as he could 345 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:56,800 Speaker 2: and we could get some stuff done. Well, I ended 346 00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:59,720 Speaker 2: up paying badly for the rushing and stress because it 347 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:02,400 Speaker 2: caught my body to crash hard. I was sent to 348 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:05,400 Speaker 2: the er on Thursday, April eleventh, and I've been fully 349 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:09,040 Speaker 2: diagnosed with preclampsia. Oh no, so she actually has it now. 350 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:11,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's like a high blood pressure thing that could 351 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:14,639 Speaker 1: happen during or after pregnancy that could be fatal. 352 00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:20,040 Speaker 2: That is correct, Wow, Sam, you win preclams Yeah. I 353 00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:22,359 Speaker 2: haven't left the hospital since, and they are keeping me 354 00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:25,600 Speaker 2: until April eighteenth, when the twins will be delivered via 355 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:28,640 Speaker 2: c section. At thirty four weeks. It was so bad 356 00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:31,400 Speaker 2: I was almost put through emergency surgery over the weekend, 357 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:33,760 Speaker 2: but they have been able to stabilize eat and long enough. 358 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:35,719 Speaker 2: For making it this far, it was not worth it 359 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:39,480 Speaker 2: to have the mom bear. She literally hospital Yeah come 360 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:41,680 Speaker 2: on now. Well, throughout this mother in law has been 361 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:44,040 Speaker 2: telling everyone she tried to calm me down, but I 362 00:17:44,119 --> 00:17:46,840 Speaker 2: pushed myself too hard and caused this to happen to 363 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,440 Speaker 2: my body, that I should have just listened to her 364 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:53,200 Speaker 2: and just rested. You're the reason that she's freaking out. 365 00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:55,639 Speaker 2: You're the reason she said I should have listened to 366 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,560 Speaker 2: her and just rested while everyone else did everything for me. Again, 367 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:01,000 Speaker 2: that pissed me off, But whatever, Maybe I should have 368 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:03,160 Speaker 2: put my foot down and wrested more so I didn't 369 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,720 Speaker 2: fight too much about who said what, if anything. My 370 00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:08,000 Speaker 2: husband came to my defense when I asked about why 371 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,240 Speaker 2: I declined so fast. Well, I've been in the hospital. 372 00:18:10,359 --> 00:18:13,080 Speaker 2: She asked a babysit our ten year old autistic nephew 373 00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:15,720 Speaker 2: for my husband's brother. She did, and was thrilled about 374 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,520 Speaker 2: it because my brother in law and sister in law 375 00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:20,760 Speaker 2: feel similarly to us, and no. Mother in law can't 376 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,639 Speaker 2: control how rambuctious she gets. They have stronger boundaries than 377 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:25,720 Speaker 2: I do with her. They are always reminding her to 378 00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:29,000 Speaker 2: calm down, especially around her nephew, who quickly becomes sensory 379 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:32,480 Speaker 2: overloaded fairly quickly. During our babysitting, she was rough housing 380 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:37,399 Speaker 2: with our nephew and he accidentally broke her wrist. Dude, nikes. 381 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:40,800 Speaker 2: We all know our nephew doesn't quite understand or know 382 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,639 Speaker 2: when to stop. We've told her numerous times that she 383 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:45,720 Speaker 2: can't get him riled up like that, but she doesn't 384 00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:49,960 Speaker 2: seem to listen and wait. The nephew is like the autistic, Yeah, 385 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,000 Speaker 2: is autistic? What is she doing to. 386 00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:56,120 Speaker 1: Get him riled up? Bro's got that dog and he does. 387 00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:59,240 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. Well, now she can't move her wrist. 388 00:18:59,359 --> 00:19:01,840 Speaker 2: My husband and I all while still in the hospital, 389 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:03,520 Speaker 2: had to tell her that we are not going to 390 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,280 Speaker 2: let her hold the babies while her wrist was broken. 391 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:08,800 Speaker 2: Oh man, this is definitely gonna yep. Set her off 392 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,240 Speaker 2: that you'll have to wait now because it's not safe 393 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,880 Speaker 2: for either of them or her. She probably would hurt 394 00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:17,200 Speaker 2: herself more trying to hold them or might possibly drop them. 395 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,680 Speaker 2: She got pissed off, saying, if we think that she's 396 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:23,200 Speaker 2: not holding her babies, we've got another thing coming. It's 397 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,920 Speaker 2: not your kid. When it doesn't come out of your cooter, 398 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:31,280 Speaker 2: you can't be a pusher and mover of if you're wanting. 399 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:35,800 Speaker 1: If it doesn't come out of your cooter, you can't 400 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:39,000 Speaker 1: be the one to call the shooter. 401 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:41,800 Speaker 2: There's gonna be something with a shooter. Can't be a looter. 402 00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:44,440 Speaker 2: Didn't come out of your cooter, don't try to loot. 403 00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:48,520 Speaker 2: That's good. We're closer. We're getting closer. Oh, if it 404 00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:52,040 Speaker 2: didn't come out of your cooter, then beggars can't be choosers. Oh, 405 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:56,160 Speaker 2: it's a little better and it's a r Okay, Sophia, 406 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,480 Speaker 2: I know you watched back the butisode. Oh it was 407 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:02,040 Speaker 2: a slight ruck. I know. I know it's close enough, 408 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:09,320 Speaker 2: so it counts. Anyways, I'm not angry. I just don't 409 00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:12,679 Speaker 2: feel comfortable with her holding my premature babies with a 410 00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:15,879 Speaker 2: broken wrist. Reasonable. I know it sucks, and I feel 411 00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:17,680 Speaker 2: bad that she will have to wait, but I also 412 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:21,000 Speaker 2: kind of feel that this is consequences to her own actions. 413 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:23,440 Speaker 2: I don't plan on withholding her viewing them. At least 414 00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:26,160 Speaker 2: I already know I will be paint doing of the child. 415 00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:29,280 Speaker 2: Just to bed, you shall see the baby, I'll see 416 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:32,000 Speaker 2: the baby. I already know I will be painted as 417 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,280 Speaker 2: a bad guy if I refuse to budge on letting 418 00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:37,000 Speaker 2: her hold them until she has recovered. My only saving 419 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:39,399 Speaker 2: grace is I know my husband is on my side 420 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:41,639 Speaker 2: and brother in law's sister in law will also agree 421 00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:43,639 Speaker 2: with me, defending me to the rest of the family 422 00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:45,800 Speaker 2: when they all come running out of the woodwork to 423 00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:46,800 Speaker 2: call us a holes. 424 00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:48,800 Speaker 1: Well, at least the husband's on your side. Like unlike 425 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:51,440 Speaker 1: last story, Yeah, United Front. 426 00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:52,720 Speaker 2: And the brother and sister in law. 427 00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:55,520 Speaker 1: That's you, You got your allies. 428 00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:57,639 Speaker 2: I also wonder if this is a classic case of 429 00:20:57,720 --> 00:20:59,879 Speaker 2: like the mother in law would just run to everyone 430 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,879 Speaker 2: like she said I couldn't hold the babies because she 431 00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:06,399 Speaker 2: doesn't like me anymore, and then it's like gets everyone 432 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:08,800 Speaker 2: on her side. I hope not. I hope not. 433 00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:11,959 Speaker 1: I mean, I think everyone has enough context that that 434 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,679 Speaker 1: won't happen. But crazier things have happened in these stories, 435 00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:15,320 Speaker 1: that's true. 436 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:17,919 Speaker 2: Would I really be an a hole for preventing her 437 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:21,600 Speaker 2: from holding our from holding her newest grandkids until she's recovered. 438 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:24,160 Speaker 2: Thanks for any advice, and I'll try to respond when 439 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:27,040 Speaker 2: I can, as I'm still in the hospital trying to 440 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:30,320 Speaker 2: keep these two babies cooking. Just two more days and 441 00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:33,159 Speaker 2: we got an updates for those maybe buns in the 442 00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:34,359 Speaker 2: oven coming out of the oven. 443 00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:38,320 Speaker 1: But so like if if my mom broke her wrists 444 00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:41,560 Speaker 1: before I was giving birth, yeah, yeah me, this is 445 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,760 Speaker 1: this is an alternate world where I'm where I'm forcing 446 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:48,760 Speaker 1: a little child out of my legs. I would probably 447 00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:51,040 Speaker 1: just like maybe see like, hey, can you pick up 448 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:52,840 Speaker 1: a chair? And if she could pick up a chair, okay, 449 00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:53,520 Speaker 1: then I would. 450 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:54,639 Speaker 2: Allow why chance it? 451 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:56,639 Speaker 1: Well, I mean like I think you could allow it, 452 00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:58,840 Speaker 1: Like yeah, sitting down, Like, is it that hard to 453 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:00,000 Speaker 1: carry a baby sitting down? 454 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:01,600 Speaker 2: That's a good point, sitting down. 455 00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:05,600 Speaker 1: Sitting down like maybe on a bed or something like 456 00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:08,200 Speaker 1: you're on a bed, you're sitting down, you can't fall, 457 00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:10,760 Speaker 1: or maybe like there's pillows all around you, you're sitting 458 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:11,280 Speaker 1: on the floor. 459 00:22:11,359 --> 00:22:14,679 Speaker 2: But ultimately, this is not her baby. It is indeed 460 00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:17,639 Speaker 2: Op's baby. OPI can do whatever she wants. Yeah, So 461 00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:19,919 Speaker 2: like it's not like Op as a is an a 462 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,720 Speaker 2: hole for doing that. I'm just thinking like if. 463 00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:24,280 Speaker 1: That was if it was my mom like really wanting 464 00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:26,800 Speaker 1: to pull the baby and she had a broken wrist, 465 00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:29,560 Speaker 1: it would be like, oh, you know, yeah, ming Man says, 466 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:31,280 Speaker 1: ask you to carry a bag of rice. Do you 467 00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:33,640 Speaker 1: ever have to like carry like a watermelon for Yeah. 468 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:36,240 Speaker 1: I never had the whole like fake baby thing. I 469 00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:37,880 Speaker 1: had to do a fake baby thing. I think in 470 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:38,720 Speaker 1: like middle school. 471 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,400 Speaker 2: I was honestly kind of sad because I'm like I 472 00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:42,960 Speaker 2: was like, one, I feel like it'd be pretty good 473 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,720 Speaker 2: at it, And two I was like, John, you see 474 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:48,000 Speaker 2: it on all the like the TV shows and stuff. 475 00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:51,040 Speaker 1: Such a thing. It was fun, dude. I did crack 476 00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:54,160 Speaker 1: my watermelon, but you know you cracked your watermelon. Yeah, 477 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,719 Speaker 1: I dropped it, of course you got. You gotta put 478 00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:57,240 Speaker 1: a little vasse. 479 00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:59,200 Speaker 2: I feel like I feel like you were you were 480 00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:04,000 Speaker 2: like scaling some sort of abandoned like like skyscraper tossing 481 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:08,440 Speaker 2: it slip felt like sixteen stories. 482 00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:11,200 Speaker 1: Oh god, it was like, my baby is My baby's 483 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:13,600 Speaker 1: a trooper, a little greul. 484 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:17,119 Speaker 2: I never heard anybody had a big, old giant head. 485 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:22,240 Speaker 1: That's hardest rock, that's so crazy his nails. Yeah, I think, 486 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:25,040 Speaker 1: uh oh, he can do whatever they want. But you know, 487 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:28,120 Speaker 1: like there's ways to hold a baby that aren't good. 488 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,959 Speaker 2: Jesse Fierce also says thirty four weeks, those babies might 489 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:32,880 Speaker 2: be small and fragile. Key on kild. You maybe look 490 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,560 Speaker 2: up what like the average, like when when a baby 491 00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:37,440 Speaker 2: usually comes out. I feel like it's thirty nine weeks. 492 00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:37,920 Speaker 2: It's forty. 493 00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:41,199 Speaker 1: Yeah, just I think it's like like like fifty six weeks. 494 00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:46,119 Speaker 2: For me, it was a solid nineteen month three years. Bro. 495 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:49,639 Speaker 2: That's because my head was cooking, dude. My head was 496 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:52,159 Speaker 2: just like freaking. You just got like a little blue jo, 497 00:23:52,359 --> 00:23:54,119 Speaker 2: a little tired. I came out with a beard. 498 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, I came out of it like this, like this, 499 00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:00,480 Speaker 1: glasses at all everything. 500 00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:01,920 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. 501 00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:04,960 Speaker 1: So in conclusion, Opie does what she wants. 502 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:05,280 Speaker 2: Yep. 503 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:07,800 Speaker 1: But if it was me, I probably would have found 504 00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:11,359 Speaker 1: a safe way my mother in law to hold the baby. 505 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:13,240 Speaker 2: Got you? Well, do we fine? Do we find any 506 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:16,560 Speaker 2: think kean it? Yeah? Forty weeks? Forty weeks? Dang so close. 507 00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:19,480 Speaker 2: Nice work, Riley, Riley, Riley was on them. You win 508 00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:22,560 Speaker 2: this rounds and all right, let's get into the update. 509 00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:24,399 Speaker 2: Thank you for all the advice. I really appreciate it. 510 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:26,840 Speaker 2: Thank you for all the suggestions about using a pillow, 511 00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:29,480 Speaker 2: having her sit down while holding the babies. 512 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:34,359 Speaker 1: Kimberly fine, says John Be like mega mind over here. 513 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:39,080 Speaker 2: Editor, Can you like do the little inflate brain thing? 514 00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:42,400 Speaker 2: Zachy does that so well? Yeah, I don't know why 515 00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:44,280 Speaker 2: it didn't occur to me to try and think about 516 00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:46,680 Speaker 2: that little I think it might be a fair solution 517 00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:49,639 Speaker 2: that way she and the babies can be safe. After 518 00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:51,719 Speaker 2: reading this what I've been able to do, I'm definitely 519 00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:54,400 Speaker 2: realizing I need to be firmer with her in the future, though, 520 00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:57,640 Speaker 2: especially when it comes to boundaries. Agreed not to be mean, 521 00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:00,159 Speaker 2: but it's clear now that she'll walk all over me 522 00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:03,040 Speaker 2: if I don't, and it's now my job to advocate 523 00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,520 Speaker 2: for those two babies first and foremost true true, I 524 00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:08,480 Speaker 2: will always second guess myself. So I wasn't trusting my gut, 525 00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:11,280 Speaker 2: but I'm so glad I got confirmation from other's point 526 00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:13,960 Speaker 2: of view. Thank you all so much, And to whoever 527 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:17,119 Speaker 2: commented that everything was one giant wall of text. I 528 00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:19,120 Speaker 2: have no idea what happened, Lill. I spaced it out, 529 00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:20,880 Speaker 2: maybe because I'm on my phone. It didn't work out. 530 00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:23,080 Speaker 2: I agree one hundred percent and found that seriously annoying 531 00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:25,440 Speaker 2: when browsing through Reddit. By the way, what's never annoying 532 00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:29,240 Speaker 2: is joining us every weekday at three PMPSD. Join us 533 00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:34,399 Speaker 2: to our lives. Come on now, now, I did try 534 00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:36,359 Speaker 2: to respond back to some people, but it's been a 535 00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:40,000 Speaker 2: rough morning. I can imagine sisters right now, things are 536 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:43,520 Speaker 2: touch and go. I got me all right, here we go. 537 00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:47,159 Speaker 2: I'm doing good. This morning. My blood pressure spiked to 538 00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:49,680 Speaker 2: one eighty eight to over one three. 539 00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:53,000 Speaker 1: Dang, well, you know that she has a condition that 540 00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:57,080 Speaker 1: causes high blood pressure that can occur during pregnancy or 541 00:25:57,119 --> 00:25:58,760 Speaker 1: after pregnancy and can be fatal. 542 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:00,359 Speaker 2: But do you know what could be fair found in 543 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:03,960 Speaker 2: their p That's that's a that's an indicator Gonnerrhie protein. 544 00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:10,960 Speaker 2: Oh protein, dude, Sam is today? 545 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:15,119 Speaker 1: Sam's like, donal, dude, actually so fun fat. 546 00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:17,359 Speaker 2: You said fifty six weeks. 547 00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:21,800 Speaker 1: But fun fat. That's an inside joke because john my 548 00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:22,679 Speaker 1: mom always. 549 00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:24,639 Speaker 2: Says she she was pregnant with me for like like 550 00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:26,080 Speaker 2: twelve thirteen, fourteen months. 551 00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:28,439 Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, instead of being worried about my health education, 552 00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:32,960 Speaker 1: why didn't you read up on your okay storytime education dudeo? 553 00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:37,960 Speaker 1: But also fun fact to Keon's point, I took ap 554 00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:41,800 Speaker 1: physics instead of taking health, so I've never taken a 555 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:43,280 Speaker 1: health class in high school. 556 00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:45,760 Speaker 2: You know what's interesting, I think with my Florida education, 557 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:49,440 Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I wasn't wrong exactly to your point. 558 00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:53,200 Speaker 1: To your point, you were one hundred percent right, I 559 00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:55,520 Speaker 1: like know nothing about my changing body. 560 00:26:57,040 --> 00:26:59,359 Speaker 2: I feel like I honestly it's been thinking back recently, 561 00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:00,720 Speaker 2: I was like, I don't think think I had any 562 00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:03,359 Speaker 2: spicy sleep education through my school. 563 00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:06,000 Speaker 1: I maybe I had a sick day, but I didn't 564 00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:08,920 Speaker 1: have any in my high school. I totally missed that 565 00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:12,280 Speaker 1: right and totally miss a no no, because I just 566 00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,520 Speaker 1: I took I decided like I don't need to know 567 00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:16,399 Speaker 1: about are you doing engineering right? 568 00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:24,040 Speaker 2: Right? Right? An engineer? My way to the oh man. 569 00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:30,000 Speaker 2: So uh, we've been able to bring it back down 570 00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:33,840 Speaker 2: to the one thirties. Let's go. But we almost had babies, 571 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:39,240 Speaker 2: oh like delivered them, conceived, maybe almost had more babies. 572 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:42,639 Speaker 2: I don't know, we'll see. I'm just trying to hold 573 00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:45,320 Speaker 2: on to one more full day and by Thursday morning, 574 00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:47,920 Speaker 2: we hope my surgery goes well. Thank you again, I'm 575 00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:50,399 Speaker 2: truly grateful. Is this has given me huge peace of 576 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:53,720 Speaker 2: mind while I'm stuck here in the hospital. Hey, that's 577 00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:56,320 Speaker 2: what read. It's good for, and that's what we're good for. 578 00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:58,080 Speaker 2: So that's it. 579 00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:01,520 Speaker 1: Also, Mingming says, I got my spicy leave education from reading. 580 00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:10,200 Speaker 2: Dude, legendaries, legend legendary. So where did the tentacles come 581 00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:16,760 Speaker 2: into the equation? Exactly? How do you say, how do 582 00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:18,240 Speaker 2: you protect the tentacles? 583 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:21,200 Speaker 1: I've never seen anti but maybe I have, and there's 584 00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:22,920 Speaker 1: like there's this one. 585 00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:25,080 Speaker 2: Thing that they do. Actually I'm not going to talk 586 00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:26,720 Speaker 2: about Sam, talk about it. 587 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:30,600 Speaker 1: Please please expand have you ever seen anti kan Yeah. 588 00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:35,440 Speaker 2: Culture. 589 00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:38,080 Speaker 1: You know that like one thing they do where they 590 00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:41,920 Speaker 1: like do like a cutout of like the inside. Yeah, 591 00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:44,000 Speaker 1: that's where you get your education from. You know, it's 592 00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:47,560 Speaker 1: like the anatomy. Is that how you got Yeah dude, 593 00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,040 Speaker 1: that's where I got my spicies leave education from that 594 00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:52,920 Speaker 1: one hand. TI video Samuel and also sited ming ming 595 00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:53,840 Speaker 1: shout out mingming. 596 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:59,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, you're not alone. I'm not alone. There's somewhere out 597 00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:00,920 Speaker 2: there there's someone new got their education 598 00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:04,520 Speaker 1: From entire yeah dude, and they are floundering in this world.