WEBVTT - Perfect Neighbors, Messy Truths (S1 E4 “Who’s That Woman”) 0:00:01.920 --> 0:00:06.320 Hi, Welcome to Desperately Devoted The Ultimate Desperate Housewives rewatch, 0:00:06.440 --> 0:00:10.360 hosted by Meat Terry Hatcher, my on screen daughter Andrea Bowen, 0:00:10.480 --> 0:00:12.760 and my real life daughter Emerson Tenney. 0:00:15.200 --> 0:00:15.600 Wow. 0:00:15.600 --> 0:00:19.279 Today we are discussing episode four, Who's That Woman which 0:00:19.320 --> 0:00:24.480 could also potentially be called Mincemeat, and what an episode 0:00:24.480 --> 0:00:27.280 it is. We have Lynette grappling with whether or not 0:00:27.400 --> 0:00:29.800 to give her children medication for add. 0:00:29.720 --> 0:00:33.640 And Susan is being blackmailed by missus Hooper, who claims 0:00:33.680 --> 0:00:36.320 to know that the measuring cup found in Edie's fire 0:00:36.520 --> 0:00:38.400 belongs to Susan and Julie. 0:00:39.200 --> 0:00:42.080 Brie continuing to struggle with her marriage to Rex, and 0:00:42.320 --> 0:00:46.120 Gabby continuing her affair with John as Carlos's suspicion grows 0:00:46.159 --> 0:00:48.479 to the point of him assaulting a cable guy and 0:00:48.600 --> 0:00:51.000 inadvertently committing a hate crime. 0:00:50.880 --> 0:00:55.960 All extremely problematic in many ways. The episode wraps up 0:00:56.040 --> 0:01:00.000 with Brie stealing Mary Alice's tapes from her therapist's office, 0:01:00.480 --> 0:01:02.880 and the women gathering together to try to get to 0:01:02.880 --> 0:01:05.319 the bottom of what is really going on in the 0:01:05.360 --> 0:01:05.919 young house. 0:01:06.160 --> 0:01:08.240 Well, let's find out. Let's find out what's going on. 0:01:09.040 --> 0:01:12.040 So many things to say about episode four, which aired 0:01:12.080 --> 0:01:15.880 October twenty fourth, two thousand and four. First of all, 0:01:15.959 --> 0:01:17.720 I just have to say, and I don't know who 0:01:17.800 --> 0:01:20.679 is what network you're watching this on or rewatching this on. 0:01:20.959 --> 0:01:24.440 I'm rewatching it on Hulu. And this was the first 0:01:24.520 --> 0:01:28.280 time that in the Hulu the recap that I presume 0:01:28.360 --> 0:01:31.120 is happens for any if you watch it because it's 0:01:31.120 --> 0:01:35.280 previously previously on And Mary Alice says it, And it's 0:01:35.319 --> 0:01:38.880 the first time we actually hear Mary Alice say. As 0:01:38.920 --> 0:01:42.959 we see Bree turn up the little spikes in the 0:01:43.360 --> 0:01:48.040 pull out couch, she says, everyone has a little dirty laundry, 0:01:48.560 --> 0:01:52.240 And this was the slogan of the first season in 0:01:52.280 --> 0:01:54.200 all of the marketing, but it's the first time that 0:01:54.240 --> 0:01:56.760 someone's actually said it on the show. 0:01:56.960 --> 0:01:57.640 Yeah, you're right. 0:01:57.720 --> 0:01:59.000 That was a big tagline. 0:01:59.040 --> 0:02:01.400 It was a big tagline on the dry cleaning back. 0:02:01.880 --> 0:02:05.720 Everyone on the Yeah, on the poster for your Everything, 0:02:06.600 --> 0:02:09.040 everyone has a dirty well does everyone have a little 0:02:09.040 --> 0:02:09.920 dirty laundry? 0:02:10.120 --> 0:02:12.640 I do, because I actually don't have a hamper right now. 0:02:12.720 --> 0:02:16.560 My hamper, No I do. My hamper was sold. I 0:02:16.560 --> 0:02:20.160 had it forever and I kept throwing wet wash cloths 0:02:20.160 --> 0:02:22.960 in it. And then in the couple of days clearly 0:02:23.040 --> 0:02:24.440 and in a couple of days it would take Then 0:02:24.480 --> 0:02:26.360 it like kind of ruined the bag, and then finally 0:02:26.400 --> 0:02:27.239 decided to throw it away. 0:02:27.280 --> 0:02:31.239 Yeah, just you because I live alone, and I have 0:02:31.840 --> 0:02:33.720 like a first in the second floor, but you can 0:02:33.800 --> 0:02:36.760 reach you can see over from the second floor down 0:02:36.840 --> 0:02:41.160 to the first floor. I don't put my dirty clothes 0:02:41.200 --> 0:02:42.800 and a hamper anymore either. 0:02:43.000 --> 0:02:44.640 I do you do down the way? 0:02:44.800 --> 0:02:50.240 And I threw the banister down to the first floor, 0:02:50.480 --> 0:02:55.320 where eventually I will take them up the laundry room. 0:02:55.400 --> 0:02:58.560 But I just yeah, no, it's really it's gone. 0:02:58.639 --> 0:03:01.679 I have I have a pile to the shower right now, 0:03:01.800 --> 0:03:02.720 and say this is. 0:03:02.680 --> 0:03:05.800 Some reason someone should not live alone. 0:03:04.919 --> 0:03:09.120 I love how quickly we turned right into something like 0:03:09.320 --> 0:03:13.200 as literal as let's talk about our dirty laundry process. 0:03:14.440 --> 0:03:16.520 Well, I certainly don't have any secrets. 0:03:17.240 --> 0:03:18.240 You don't have any secrets. 0:03:18.360 --> 0:03:21.160 So this episode title is another song we're gonna you know, 0:03:21.240 --> 0:03:24.440 obviously we're going to go over the Sondheim references because 0:03:24.480 --> 0:03:27.040 it's such a cool part of this show. And anyway, 0:03:27.080 --> 0:03:29.840 this one happens to be from the show Follies. So 0:03:30.480 --> 0:03:32.600 for those out there who listen and care about that. 0:03:33.080 --> 0:03:34.200 Now you know who's. 0:03:36.080 --> 0:03:36.360 Happy. 0:03:36.520 --> 0:03:37.240 Yes, I know. 0:03:37.360 --> 0:03:42.160 I found this to be and I really related to 0:03:42.200 --> 0:03:47.120 this an episode that really circled around identities and like 0:03:47.400 --> 0:03:52.520 how we identify ourselves. And I will admit that as 0:03:52.800 --> 0:03:55.960 a six year old woman who has had her adult 0:03:56.040 --> 0:04:00.600 daughter go off to begin her independent life. And even 0:04:00.760 --> 0:04:02.680 more so now no, I mean you, no, I. 0:04:02.600 --> 0:04:04.280 Love it because you say I feel like you've said 0:04:04.280 --> 0:04:05.840 that for like, when I went to college, it was 0:04:05.840 --> 0:04:07.560 like she's going off to college. When I graduated, it 0:04:07.600 --> 0:04:10.280 was like she's graduating, She's beginning her adult life. Now 0:04:10.320 --> 0:04:12.240 I'm looking at twenty eight coming up, and she's like 0:04:12.280 --> 0:04:14.520 she's beginning her adult life. 0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:18.120 Should I say beginning, Well, I meant more like, I 0:04:18.160 --> 0:04:21.400 feel like because you actually bring out points And I'm 0:04:21.400 --> 0:04:25.000 saying this for all the empty nesting moms that might 0:04:25.040 --> 0:04:28.039 be out there listening. I think I hear you. I 0:04:28.080 --> 0:04:31.800 empathize with you that you know the rule The first 0:04:31.800 --> 0:04:34.920 of all, there's no rule book to motherhood. You know, 0:04:35.000 --> 0:04:37.080 you have your child, and I mean there is like 0:04:37.120 --> 0:04:39.080 what to expect when you're expecting, and what to expect 0:04:39.080 --> 0:04:41.040 in the first five years. There's that kind of stuff, 0:04:41.640 --> 0:04:46.359 but nobody really tells you. It's hard to know how 0:04:46.400 --> 0:04:50.880 you're going to evolve with your identity, and the identity 0:04:50.920 --> 0:04:53.960 that becomes very easy, and that I think mothers in 0:04:54.080 --> 0:04:58.599 general love is mom. Yeah, I'm a mom, and it 0:04:58.680 --> 0:05:01.360 means something to me, and it means something even more 0:05:01.360 --> 0:05:04.400 importantly to other people, and there's a value in it. 0:05:04.720 --> 0:05:07.120 And then these are the stages when you go off 0:05:07.160 --> 0:05:10.480 to college. It is one degree of no longer being 0:05:10.480 --> 0:05:11.800 a mom. You're still a mom. 0:05:12.000 --> 0:05:14.680 I still went with you to like help pass out 0:05:14.680 --> 0:05:15.360 of my dorm. 0:05:15.560 --> 0:05:17.640 Yeah, like, you know, I was still involved. I still 0:05:17.680 --> 0:05:19.880 got calls when you had the flu and you know, 0:05:19.960 --> 0:05:20.680 figuring it out. 0:05:20.680 --> 0:05:23.159 However, flew a lot, and the first I was going 0:05:23.160 --> 0:05:23.680 out too much. 0:05:24.760 --> 0:05:28.320 Then you graduate, so then that's another degree, like, oh okay, 0:05:28.560 --> 0:05:31.240 and she she did not come home to live with me. 0:05:31.320 --> 0:05:32.960 I mean she did a little bit because of COVID, 0:05:33.040 --> 0:05:35.280 but like she as soon as she could went to 0:05:35.320 --> 0:05:38.760 live in her own apartment. And now the next degree 0:05:39.160 --> 0:05:43.760 is you're a real working professional and you're living with 0:05:43.800 --> 0:05:47.159 your partner. Yeah, like so, I you know, I could 0:05:47.240 --> 0:05:49.320 argue that I am pushed aside. 0:05:50.920 --> 0:05:52.560 The redefined And. 0:05:55.160 --> 0:05:57.680 This is what other women my age or you know 0:05:57.839 --> 0:05:58.920 around my age. 0:05:58.720 --> 0:05:59.520 That that are. 0:06:00.080 --> 0:06:03.400 You get forced to redefine your identity. And it isn't 0:06:03.400 --> 0:06:06.839 as easy as it sounds. Because when you take away mom, 0:06:07.240 --> 0:06:09.200 if you're retired, which I am not, by the way, 0:06:09.200 --> 0:06:11.320 anybody looking to hire a. 0:06:10.880 --> 0:06:12.960 Finish an actress ready to work. 0:06:14.080 --> 0:06:17.479 I'm ready to work. But when you push aside that 0:06:17.600 --> 0:06:20.960 sort of day to day mom role, when you know, 0:06:21.000 --> 0:06:24.680 are not going to work every second, you have less 0:06:24.680 --> 0:06:27.320 and less things to sort of hang on to figure 0:06:27.320 --> 0:06:30.200 out what is your identity. And I'm right in that 0:06:30.279 --> 0:06:33.960 stage where I'm trying to figure it out. And so 0:06:34.320 --> 0:06:36.760 I look at the women, the characters in this show, 0:06:37.320 --> 0:06:41.040 and I really get it and I feel again, I'm 0:06:41.080 --> 0:06:43.440 going to say, this is why a show like Desperate 0:06:43.440 --> 0:06:49.800 Housewives is lasting over generations, because people can relate to 0:06:49.880 --> 0:06:55.520 it for as kind of stereotypical and what's the word satirish, 0:06:55.680 --> 0:07:00.240 you know that is, you can still relate to it, 0:07:00.320 --> 0:07:01.560 and that's why you buy in. 0:07:02.200 --> 0:07:04.080 You know, I'm so struck because I'm sitting here and 0:07:04.080 --> 0:07:07.320 I'm thinking, I'm about to put that identity on, you know, 0:07:07.480 --> 0:07:11.880 of motherhood and becoming a mom, and you know, it's 0:07:12.000 --> 0:07:15.880 it's I have thought about identity so much prior to 0:07:16.040 --> 0:07:19.520 watching this particular episode, just in this transitional phase I'm 0:07:19.560 --> 0:07:21.720 in in my life and kind of what type of 0:07:21.760 --> 0:07:23.800 mother do I want to be? And how does being 0:07:24.000 --> 0:07:27.080 Andrea now change when I become Andrea as a mom, 0:07:27.120 --> 0:07:29.480 And what do I want to model for my daughter? 0:07:29.640 --> 0:07:31.160 And how is she gonna look at me? 0:07:31.240 --> 0:07:31.520 And what? 0:07:31.640 --> 0:07:32.720 You know, all these things are. 0:07:32.640 --> 0:07:35.760 All the right questions. Yeah, and you. 0:07:35.800 --> 0:07:37.080 Know, I'm taking that and it's a good thing I'm 0:07:37.080 --> 0:07:40.520 watching Desert Housewives because I can hold from that, you know. 0:07:44.480 --> 0:07:49.120 The worst, what is so bad? How each is interesting to. 0:07:49.160 --> 0:07:51.960 Do their motherhood, you know, with some of the themes 0:07:51.960 --> 0:07:53.920 that I'm sure we'll we'll get into. But I do 0:07:53.960 --> 0:07:58.320 agree that the general theme woven between all the characters 0:07:58.320 --> 0:08:02.160 being routed around identity was really prevalent and has had 0:08:02.160 --> 0:08:02.960 me thinking a lot too. 0:08:03.040 --> 0:08:03.400 Yeah. 0:08:03.440 --> 0:08:06.680 I really resonated with the identity idea also, and this 0:08:06.840 --> 0:08:10.480 idea of labels. You know, with identity, we label ourselves. 0:08:10.520 --> 0:08:13.320 You know, you're either how high power exec or you're 0:08:13.360 --> 0:08:16.640 a stay at home mom. You're either Gabby the fashion 0:08:16.720 --> 0:08:19.360 model a stay at home wife, or you're Susan the 0:08:19.440 --> 0:08:23.160 working single mom. And I think I was thinking even 0:08:23.200 --> 0:08:26.760 at my age, you know, people in their mid late twenties, 0:08:26.840 --> 0:08:29.760 early thirties. I feel like today we're in a time 0:08:29.800 --> 0:08:32.600 in society where a lot of I was gonna say 0:08:32.679 --> 0:08:35.559 artists my age, but I think it's people my age 0:08:35.600 --> 0:08:41.079 in general have more than one job and more than 0:08:41.160 --> 0:08:44.640 one identity that comes with it. You know, you work 0:08:44.679 --> 0:08:46.960 at a coffee shop and then you are an actor, 0:08:47.120 --> 0:08:49.120 or you work in a restaurant and you're a writer, 0:08:49.520 --> 0:08:52.280 or you have a marketing job and you're also pursuing producing. 0:08:52.679 --> 0:08:55.360 And I mean even for me, like we're doing this 0:08:55.440 --> 0:08:58.040 podcast and I'm also a screenwriter. 0:08:57.679 --> 0:08:59.800 And everything's multi hypen it. 0:08:59.840 --> 0:09:01.719 Yeah, everything is multi hyphen it. And I feel like 0:09:01.800 --> 0:09:07.120 there is much more flexibility around labels, but also more 0:09:07.920 --> 0:09:12.439 emphasis on how you identify yourself. And it's this weird paradox. 0:09:12.080 --> 0:09:12.920 That's so interesting. 0:09:13.040 --> 0:09:15.400 Yeah, I wonder if it's I mean, it would be 0:09:15.400 --> 0:09:17.720 hard for you to answer if it's harder or easier, 0:09:17.920 --> 0:09:23.480 you know, to lean into your identity as a crutch 0:09:23.720 --> 0:09:27.720 or to sort of unburden yourself from having to be 0:09:27.880 --> 0:09:31.200 any label. But then you also don't have the support 0:09:31.280 --> 0:09:33.480 of what it means to be part of that group 0:09:33.559 --> 0:09:35.920 of other people who are Bearista's, you know or what. 0:09:36.160 --> 0:09:38.360 Yeah, well, it's interesting. It's so interesting that you bring 0:09:38.440 --> 0:09:42.000 up identity, because obviously this is a huge theme, especially 0:09:42.080 --> 0:09:44.480 later in this episode, especially as a queer woman thinking 0:09:44.520 --> 0:09:47.200 about identity. Now, I'm just jumping completely from what you 0:09:47.240 --> 0:09:49.600 do or if you're a mom or not, like what it? 0:09:49.760 --> 0:09:52.600 How do we identify? I was having a conversation with 0:09:52.600 --> 0:09:55.600 my girlfriend earlier this week, and we were talking about 0:09:56.200 --> 0:09:58.440 I was writing in a coffee shop and I overheard 0:09:58.440 --> 0:10:00.760 these two young girls I I think they were It 0:10:00.840 --> 0:10:02.640 seemed like they were seniors in high school or they 0:10:02.920 --> 0:10:04.960 just graduated, and they were getting ready to go to college. 0:10:05.480 --> 0:10:08.120 And one of them was talking about this girl that 0:10:08.200 --> 0:10:09.800 she was dating and if they were going to stay 0:10:09.840 --> 0:10:12.640 together when she went to college. And the other girl 0:10:12.800 --> 0:10:15.080 was talking about how she kind of had a crush 0:10:15.120 --> 0:10:18.160 on this non binary person and she said, oh, I 0:10:18.160 --> 0:10:19.200 don't know if they want to kiss me or if 0:10:19.200 --> 0:10:20.840 I want And I was just it doesn't really matter 0:10:20.880 --> 0:10:22.480 what they were talking about. But I was listening to 0:10:22.559 --> 0:10:25.760 them talk because I was really I'm such an eavesdropper. 0:10:25.840 --> 0:10:27.800 I am a note or don't say coffee shops. I 0:10:27.880 --> 0:10:29.640 don't say anything next to me in a coffee shop 0:10:29.679 --> 0:10:33.640 because I am listening to you and I'm remembering it too. 0:10:33.720 --> 0:10:40.439 I'm like too, so, yeah, beware everyone on the east side. 0:10:40.559 --> 0:10:42.360 But you're saying it doesn't matter, Well, it. 0:10:42.280 --> 0:10:45.040 Was just I was really struck by the fluidity with 0:10:45.080 --> 0:10:48.280 which they talked about who they were seeing, how they 0:10:48.320 --> 0:10:51.920 identified what they saw for their futures. And you know, there, 0:10:51.920 --> 0:10:54.520 I don't know, maybe twelve fifteen years younger than me, 0:10:55.000 --> 0:11:00.280 and I thought, oh my gosh, I did not grow 0:11:00.360 --> 0:11:06.240 up in high school with this level of fluidity around identity. 0:11:06.600 --> 0:11:09.000 And I was so struck by these girls who weren't 0:11:09.000 --> 0:11:10.800 that much younger than me, maybe they were only ten 0:11:10.880 --> 0:11:14.640 years younger than me, having just such ease with the 0:11:14.640 --> 0:11:18.079 way they moved between the way that they labeled themselves 0:11:18.120 --> 0:11:19.560 and what they so offfer their futures and what they 0:11:19.600 --> 0:11:21.960 suffer other people around them, And yeah, it was it 0:11:22.000 --> 0:11:22.600 was very moving. 0:11:22.760 --> 0:11:26.200 Well, I mean, the bringing up labels, it also brings 0:11:26.280 --> 0:11:29.200 up judgment, you know, And so it's one thing to 0:11:29.280 --> 0:11:34.640 have your own sense of self and purpose and you know, acceptance, 0:11:35.240 --> 0:11:38.040 you know. But but we live in a world and 0:11:38.320 --> 0:11:41.000 in this show, they live on a street and in 0:11:41.040 --> 0:11:43.760 a neighborhood where there's a lot of judging going on, 0:11:43.920 --> 0:11:48.280 and you know, starting off with Lynette thinking that she's 0:11:48.320 --> 0:11:51.480 going to have possibly a good day until she gets 0:11:51.480 --> 0:11:54.600 the phone call and you know her her children are 0:11:55.040 --> 0:12:00.120 so badly behaved that she's offered the idea that they 0:12:00.160 --> 0:12:03.000 need medication or they're going to get kicked out of 0:12:03.040 --> 0:12:07.719 the school. Yeah, that's that's that's huge. And this happens 0:12:07.920 --> 0:12:09.959 to people like I was trying to think. This did 0:12:10.040 --> 0:12:12.880 not happen to me. I you know, as you can see, 0:12:12.960 --> 0:12:14.680 I sort of have the perfect daughter. 0:12:15.080 --> 0:12:17.680 Oh thank you so much. I was so well behaved. 0:12:17.720 --> 0:12:20.120 I never got kicked out of a classroom. It's I 0:12:20.160 --> 0:12:22.000 was an only child and I sat at the adult's 0:12:22.000 --> 0:12:25.400 dinner table a lot growing up, and so I think, I, yeah, 0:12:25.440 --> 0:12:30.120 everything was interior. I just had a very interior life. 0:12:30.160 --> 0:12:31.920 I think that's probably why I'm a writer now. Yeah, 0:12:32.000 --> 0:12:33.160 I feel like, yeah, that's true. 0:12:33.400 --> 0:12:35.760 But listen, I mean you're talking about how your identity 0:12:35.800 --> 0:12:36.160 was formed. 0:12:36.160 --> 0:12:37.320 It's it's so interesting. 0:12:37.679 --> 0:12:40.040 I I when I was driving over here today, I 0:12:40.120 --> 0:12:43.520 was thinking a lot about identity and like, how do 0:12:43.600 --> 0:12:45.840 I identify and how is my identity formed? And all 0:12:45.880 --> 0:12:48.240 these things right, and Desperate Housewise plays a big role 0:12:48.240 --> 0:12:50.400 in it, right, because I had been an actor for 0:12:50.400 --> 0:12:51.959 a long time by the time I started the show, 0:12:52.360 --> 0:12:56.120 but arguably this was the most successful, you know, on 0:12:56.160 --> 0:13:00.040 a grand scale thing that I had done. And and 0:13:00.040 --> 0:13:02.160 and I think when you're a performer as a child, 0:13:02.600 --> 0:13:06.280 your identity is really kind of told to you by 0:13:06.720 --> 0:13:08.679 not only the roles you book, but also you're kind 0:13:08.720 --> 0:13:12.559 of praised for. You get verbal affirmations for the things 0:13:12.640 --> 0:13:14.800 that people like about you, and then you adopt them 0:13:14.800 --> 0:13:17.160 as like, Okay, that's who I am, right, And so 0:13:18.040 --> 0:13:20.959 being a good little adult as a kid when you're 0:13:21.000 --> 0:13:24.640 in the industry is really valuable. I happen to kind 0:13:24.640 --> 0:13:26.439 of like be predisposed to be somebody who is a 0:13:26.440 --> 0:13:29.200 perfectionist and cared about showing up prepared and wanting to 0:13:29.200 --> 0:13:31.720 do things well. But you know, I was also awarded 0:13:31.720 --> 0:13:34.520 for that behavior, right, And so I always was. I 0:13:34.559 --> 0:13:37.480 was always told like my whole adolescence and Julie's kind 0:13:37.480 --> 0:13:39.400 of like this too, like, oh, you're so mature for 0:13:39.440 --> 0:13:44.000 your age or whatever. Right, we're so related, And so 0:13:44.120 --> 0:13:47.040 when you grow up, what happens to the identity of 0:13:47.040 --> 0:13:48.720 your mature for your age as a thirty five year 0:13:48.720 --> 0:13:49.120 old woman. 0:13:49.200 --> 0:13:49.320 Right. 0:13:49.360 --> 0:13:51.520 No one's telling me now that I'm mature for my age, 0:13:51.559 --> 0:13:54.960 right right? I mean that would be weird. And at 0:13:55.000 --> 0:13:56.240 this point, you know, yeah. 0:13:56.360 --> 0:13:57.319 It's so interesting. 0:13:57.440 --> 0:14:00.480 Yeah, but it was such a theme throughout me who 0:14:00.559 --> 0:14:00.839 I am. 0:14:00.920 --> 0:14:03.040 Do you know what came your mind for me? No? 0:14:04.240 --> 0:14:05.679 But I would say, and I tell her this all 0:14:05.720 --> 0:14:09.880 the time. Okay, this is the this is memportant. Just 0:14:09.920 --> 0:14:12.240 that when I was younger, when I was forty, when 0:14:12.240 --> 0:14:14.880 I was thirty forty, I was on the cover of magazines. 0:14:15.080 --> 0:14:17.440 People told me all the time I was beautiful. That 0:14:17.640 --> 0:14:21.640 was part of my identity. No one tells me that anymore. 0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:24.600 Well, we'll tell you right now. 0:14:25.560 --> 0:14:30.160 I'm just saying. So it is a transition like going 0:14:30.240 --> 0:14:34.080 from the daily mom into the empty nester. And people 0:14:34.600 --> 0:14:38.600 think that the state of their being is going to 0:14:38.760 --> 0:14:43.280 last forever. Yeah, and and it isn't. And so you 0:14:43.400 --> 0:14:48.840 really need to be present and really enjoy what gifts 0:14:48.880 --> 0:14:49.440 you're given. 0:14:49.760 --> 0:14:51.880 I think about that with Lynette's character, you know, did 0:14:51.960 --> 0:14:54.960 she really feel present and enjoy when she was working 0:14:54.960 --> 0:14:55.800 sixty hour weeks. 0:14:55.800 --> 0:14:58.080 She's so wistful for it now because now she's so wistful. 0:14:58.480 --> 0:15:01.480 I'm curious, Andrew, So, how did you or have you 0:15:01.800 --> 0:15:05.440 worked to redefine yourself as not well, such a mature 0:15:05.480 --> 0:15:06.120 young adult. 0:15:06.920 --> 0:15:07.200 Yeah. 0:15:07.440 --> 0:15:09.800 I'm just a really mature, put together thirty five years old, 0:15:10.560 --> 0:15:13.240 I know, but I think I've released a lot of that. 0:15:13.360 --> 0:15:15.720 I don't have that as like the moniker I wear 0:15:15.720 --> 0:15:17.200 when I walk into a room anymore, but I will 0:15:17.200 --> 0:15:19.320 say that something is kind of beautiful and sweet? 0:15:19.480 --> 0:15:19.720 Is that? 0:15:19.800 --> 0:15:22.800 My mom over the past couple of years has said 0:15:22.840 --> 0:15:25.680 to me, you know, when the occasion arises or like 0:15:25.680 --> 0:15:28.680 on my birthday, that she sees she's watching me get 0:15:28.720 --> 0:15:32.960 younger as I get older, And I think that's really cool. 0:15:33.160 --> 0:15:33.440 Yeah. 0:15:33.720 --> 0:15:39.480 Is that because now that you don't feel the burden 0:15:39.640 --> 0:15:44.680 of being like a perfect young actress who does everything right, 0:15:44.760 --> 0:15:48.040 you know that you can actually be more playful and 0:15:48.080 --> 0:15:48.840 get things wrong. 0:15:48.960 --> 0:15:49.400 I think so. 0:15:49.720 --> 0:15:52.360 I think that even though I wasn't necessarily beholden to 0:15:52.440 --> 0:15:53.960 it at the time, in a way I was aware of. 0:15:54.720 --> 0:15:57.040 I think that it served me. I liked it. I 0:15:57.080 --> 0:15:59.360 really like being prepared. I like to do things. 0:15:59.440 --> 0:15:59.600 You know. 0:15:59.640 --> 0:16:01.520 In my mind, it's like I want to be perfect 0:16:01.560 --> 0:16:03.720 at something I've never done, which is impossible, right, But 0:16:03.840 --> 0:16:07.560 it's that like control thing, and I've definitely relinquished some 0:16:07.680 --> 0:16:10.000 of that over the last few years, and I think 0:16:10.000 --> 0:16:13.200 it's it's very freeing and yes, allows me to be 0:16:13.320 --> 0:16:16.040 messier and more playful and all the things, and so well. 0:16:15.880 --> 0:16:17.800 That's one of the things I do love about aging, 0:16:18.000 --> 0:16:20.720 Like I don't care that nobody says I'm beautiful anymore. 0:16:20.760 --> 0:16:24.960 Like I I'm so freed of all that stuff, Like 0:16:25.200 --> 0:16:27.040 I I love that. 0:16:27.360 --> 0:16:31.360 I love that. I mean, obviously, I am the youngest 0:16:31.400 --> 0:16:34.080 one out of the three of us, but I I've 0:16:34.080 --> 0:16:36.960 actually I've said this before. I feel like when I 0:16:37.040 --> 0:16:39.440 because I also was really praised for being such a 0:16:39.480 --> 0:16:45.600 mature young adult, praised you for thank you, no but 0:16:45.600 --> 0:16:48.800 but for but for being mature and intellectual for my age. 0:16:49.120 --> 0:16:51.680 And I feel like I always had this kind of 0:16:51.760 --> 0:16:53.840 very concrete idea of what path I was going to 0:16:53.880 --> 0:16:55.560 be on and when I was going to achieve things 0:16:55.600 --> 0:16:57.760 by a certain age, and put a lot of pressure 0:16:57.800 --> 0:17:00.320 on myself because I too, am so type a you know, 0:17:00.400 --> 0:17:03.400 straight a student likes to know how to do everything, 0:17:03.400 --> 0:17:06.199 even if I've never done it before, and I feel like, 0:17:06.760 --> 0:17:09.880 I don't know, you know, the concurrent events. I feel 0:17:09.880 --> 0:17:13.600 like when I turned twenty six, when I was like 0:17:13.760 --> 0:17:17.639 over the hump of in my mid twenties or you know, 0:17:17.960 --> 0:17:21.359 late mid twenties, and also I really kind of in 0:17:21.359 --> 0:17:24.600 a more public way to my friends and family came out, 0:17:25.160 --> 0:17:29.639 I felt this complete redefinition of my age. And I 0:17:29.720 --> 0:17:32.520 have to say every year since then, I have felt 0:17:32.520 --> 0:17:35.679 younger and younger, and I have felt, yeah, just like this, 0:17:36.119 --> 0:17:39.080 it's so arbitrary, these rules that we put on ourselves, 0:17:39.160 --> 0:17:43.840 and to just feel also maybe more confidence in my identity, 0:17:43.880 --> 0:17:47.240 but also in my work and my voice. 0:17:47.000 --> 0:17:51.359 And your value outside of it, and my perfect exactly exactly. 0:17:51.520 --> 0:17:54.320 Neither of you ever did anything wrong at school. You 0:17:54.359 --> 0:17:55.840 never painted anybody. 0:17:55.440 --> 0:17:59.560 Blue or it's a great sejuct, but did. 0:17:59.440 --> 0:18:03.320 I'm sure neither of you had medications either, But but 0:18:03.400 --> 0:18:07.480 how do you feel? This was another daring, bold boundary break. 0:18:07.480 --> 0:18:09.840 Early was to bring in in two thousand and four 0:18:10.359 --> 0:18:15.320 a character who was considering is it adderall or. 0:18:15.400 --> 0:18:17.840 Yeah, I'm medication but yeah. 0:18:18.400 --> 0:18:20.720 But for eightyd, I know it was kind of the 0:18:20.760 --> 0:18:24.159 beginning of more and more of your fellow students. I 0:18:24.160 --> 0:18:26.720 feel like there were some kids at schools that I 0:18:26.800 --> 0:18:29.520 was aware of that were maybe starting to do things 0:18:29.640 --> 0:18:31.960 like that, but I felt like on television it was 0:18:32.000 --> 0:18:36.840 sort of the first character that really was getting this question. 0:18:37.240 --> 0:18:40.359 Yeah. I mean, you know, you feel for Lynette so 0:18:40.440 --> 0:18:43.960 much because I thought, it's such a thing right, Or 0:18:43.960 --> 0:18:46.040 you're trying to be such a good mom and you're 0:18:46.040 --> 0:18:47.560 trying to do right by your children, and you just 0:18:47.560 --> 0:18:50.399 don't know what right is Is it right to, you know, 0:18:51.440 --> 0:18:56.760 give them the opportunity to silence these thoughts or to 0:18:57.119 --> 0:19:00.720 dull whatever is making their antics act and then maybe 0:19:00.720 --> 0:19:03.200 they're limited in school because of those things, or is 0:19:03.240 --> 0:19:05.359 it right to let them be who they are and 0:19:06.080 --> 0:19:08.399 see what happens if they don't interfere, you know? And 0:19:08.440 --> 0:19:10.880 also if the thought isn't coming from you, but it's 0:19:10.880 --> 0:19:13.760 coming from the school, it's coming from someone else, how 0:19:13.760 --> 0:19:17.520 do you take that? If not feeling very judged or criticized, 0:19:17.640 --> 0:19:20.879 or like being told you're not doing your job and 0:19:20.920 --> 0:19:22.800 her job is such a thing right because she's like, oh, 0:19:22.800 --> 0:19:24.479 I was so successful at the job that I did 0:19:24.560 --> 0:19:26.719 before I was a mother. I was praised for how 0:19:26.720 --> 0:19:28.359 good I was at it, and now I've given that 0:19:28.440 --> 0:19:31.000 identity up to be this, and now I'm told I'm 0:19:31.000 --> 0:19:31.960 not doing it well. 0:19:33.400 --> 0:19:36.359 It is interesting when you're in control of a situation 0:19:36.520 --> 0:19:39.480 like Lynette was at work. You know, when she had 0:19:39.480 --> 0:19:42.480