WEBVTT - Off the Top Turnbuckle 0:00:00.880 --> 0:00:05.400 Boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a 0:00:05.440 --> 0:00:09.200 week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of 0:00:09.240 --> 0:00:12.880 the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats 0:00:12.880 --> 0:00:15.760 crackheads in the ghetto Cutter the same as the rich 0:00:15.800 --> 0:00:19.799 pill poppers in the penthouse the clearing House of Hot 0:00:19.840 --> 0:00:23.560 takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with 0:00:23.760 --> 0:00:28.159 Ben Maller starts right now. That it does, and I 0:00:28.200 --> 0:00:30.280 hope you're doing well as we are back at it 0:00:30.360 --> 0:00:37.360 inside the Magic podcast Box. Another weekend of the Fifth 0:00:37.360 --> 0:00:41.600 Hour with Ben Mallory. Because four hours of overnight radio 0:00:41.720 --> 0:00:44.440 not enough, and we are now doing this eight days 0:00:44.479 --> 0:00:48.200 a week when you can bind the radio podcast which 0:00:48.680 --> 0:00:53.920 gets your downloads Monday through Friday, and then this podcast Friday, 0:00:53.960 --> 0:00:58.600 Saturday and Sunday, bright and early. It gets published at 0:00:58.840 --> 0:01:00.960 what at nine in the morning Eastern six in the 0:01:01.000 --> 0:01:03.760 morning in the West, as we are in the air 0:01:04.520 --> 0:01:10.080 everywhere the vast power of the I Heart Podcast Network. 0:01:10.240 --> 0:01:17.080 And yet again I am joined by David gagon A 0:01:17.280 --> 0:01:20.520 k A. David Gascon's right over there. He's in a 0:01:20.720 --> 0:01:23.920 he's in a surly mood today. And I don't know 0:01:23.959 --> 0:01:26.000 that you want to talk about that or not Gascon. 0:01:26.240 --> 0:01:28.759 But you're not in a great mood right now, probably not, 0:01:28.840 --> 0:01:30.960 so let's get on with it. No, that means he 0:01:31.000 --> 0:01:33.120 doesn't want to talk about See, that's his way of 0:01:33.160 --> 0:01:36.560 saying that he does not want to talk about the situation. 0:01:36.840 --> 0:01:40.720 Is that correct, that's correct. I didn't miss you the 0:01:40.760 --> 0:01:43.880 other day, so happy birthday to you. Thank you. It 0:01:43.920 --> 0:01:45.720 was very nice for you to call me. I appreciated 0:01:45.800 --> 0:01:48.080 that and text me unless you didn't do any of 0:01:48.120 --> 0:01:50.200 that stuff, so I you know either way. But what 0:01:50.320 --> 0:01:52.640 we are work friends, as we say, right, yes, yes, 0:01:53.320 --> 0:01:54.920 when you're work friends, you don't actually have to be 0:01:54.960 --> 0:01:56.760 real friends. You can just be like work friends. And 0:01:56.800 --> 0:01:58.640 this is kind of how it goes. So we have 0:01:58.840 --> 0:02:02.200 it's my birthday. It's my birthday. We have the key, 0:02:02.280 --> 0:02:07.000 we return, and some other surprises along the way, but 0:02:07.160 --> 0:02:10.600 we'll start with, of course me, because why not. It 0:02:10.800 --> 0:02:14.560 is my birthday week. And I was very honored. Uh 0:02:14.720 --> 0:02:16.720 not you, Gascon. You did not take the time to 0:02:16.760 --> 0:02:20.280 reach out, but many people did, and thank you very kindly. 0:02:20.560 --> 0:02:24.360 People I have not heard from from my past. A 0:02:24.400 --> 0:02:27.079 couple of big radio executives reached out to me that 0:02:27.120 --> 0:02:28.840 I used to work with back in the day. That 0:02:28.919 --> 0:02:31.400 was cool to hear from them, and a number of 0:02:31.440 --> 0:02:35.200 big fans, old listeners of the show that had had 0:02:35.240 --> 0:02:37.520 not reached out in many years. We actually had a 0:02:37.560 --> 0:02:42.480 call on the air the other night from Chris. It 0:02:42.560 --> 0:02:45.079 was Kristen, the stripper from Houston that used to call 0:02:45.200 --> 0:02:49.920 up back like ten eleven, twelve years ago and and 0:02:50.000 --> 0:02:52.160 that whole thing. So that was cool to hear from 0:02:52.200 --> 0:02:53.799 from her. She used to do bits on the show 0:02:53.840 --> 0:02:57.600 and then retired stripper. And it's one of those it's 0:02:57.680 --> 0:03:00.200 like that's a gig. That's a gig you have like 0:03:00.240 --> 0:03:02.920 for the it stays with you, right Yeah, I mean 0:03:02.919 --> 0:03:05.560 you can be a former stripper, but you still have 0:03:05.760 --> 0:03:09.680 that in your head. You go from what's stripping to 0:03:10.360 --> 0:03:14.200 pull dancing to porn? Is that what the uh progression is? 0:03:14.280 --> 0:03:16.680 Or do you go the other way around? I think 0:03:16.760 --> 0:03:19.919 what usually happens is it's a stripper and then you're 0:03:19.919 --> 0:03:23.480 not making enough money and so you become a prostitute. 0:03:23.560 --> 0:03:26.440 Isn't that usually how that goes? And then then you 0:03:26.440 --> 0:03:28.400 can get into porn. You want to branch out if 0:03:28.400 --> 0:03:30.000 you want to, you know, go on the the up 0:03:30.000 --> 0:03:33.160 and up. Yeah, I don't know, but uh, yeah. I 0:03:33.160 --> 0:03:35.640 mean in Texas everything's bigger, so I can imagine the 0:03:35.680 --> 0:03:38.880 tits are a little bigger too, right, Yeah, I don't know. 0:03:38.960 --> 0:03:43.200 I mean you you've been a connoisseur of the ballet 0:03:43.400 --> 0:03:45.840 over the year's guest gun, Right you spent a few bucks. No, 0:03:46.160 --> 0:03:47.880 not really, I'm not a fan of it. I don't 0:03:47.920 --> 0:03:50.600 I don't get the whole I don't get the whole 0:03:50.640 --> 0:03:53.680 idea of being teased for an hour or two hours. 0:03:53.760 --> 0:03:56.600 Why you gotta pay for bottles of alcohol and pay 0:03:56.680 --> 0:03:59.680 for addition and pay for a couple of drinks. I 0:03:59.760 --> 0:04:02.400 gotta tell you. I in my younger days, when no 0:04:02.480 --> 0:04:04.840 women would would ever be in the same room with me, 0:04:05.200 --> 0:04:07.600 I did attend a number of ballets, and I was 0:04:07.640 --> 0:04:11.320 a regular in my twenties. I was at the ballet 0:04:11.400 --> 0:04:13.400 quite often. In fact, I was paid by the radio 0:04:13.480 --> 0:04:17.680 station to go to some of those location. How great 0:04:17.720 --> 0:04:20.400 is that back in the in the nineties they would 0:04:20.440 --> 0:04:22.560 pay us to go do shows from the back of 0:04:22.560 --> 0:04:25.160 a strip club, which was, you know, a restaurant they 0:04:25.200 --> 0:04:26.599 had put back there. I told the story a few 0:04:26.600 --> 0:04:28.839 times over the years, but the one of the big 0:04:29.480 --> 0:04:32.560 strip clubs in the San Fernando Valley they're back in 0:04:32.560 --> 0:04:35.279 the day. They decided to have some extra property, extra 0:04:35.279 --> 0:04:37.039 space on the property, so that like, we're gonna open 0:04:37.120 --> 0:04:39.480 up a sports bar, but we're gonna try to get 0:04:39.640 --> 0:04:42.839 kids and families to come in, and then we'll spend 0:04:42.920 --> 0:04:45.800 some money on radio advertising, which is very nice. And 0:04:45.839 --> 0:04:47.560 then they paid for us to go do some live 0:04:47.600 --> 0:04:49.880 shows to get people to come into the restaurant. But 0:04:50.560 --> 0:04:53.440 you had to walk past the front of the strip 0:04:53.440 --> 0:04:56.320 club to get to the restaurant. So amazingly, a lot 0:04:56.360 --> 0:04:59.200 of families, a lot of moms objected to that, and 0:04:59.240 --> 0:05:02.159 so in it up being mostly the strippers on break, 0:05:02.640 --> 0:05:06.480 we're hanging out in the restaurant trying to get away 0:05:06.480 --> 0:05:09.720 from the creepy guys in the club and all that. 0:05:09.880 --> 0:05:11.560 The other thing I will tell you from my life 0:05:11.560 --> 0:05:15.520 experience here, going to a strip club as a mere 0:05:15.680 --> 0:05:20.240 civilian and going to the strip club with professional athletes 0:05:20.360 --> 0:05:25.600 is a much different experience, all right, a much different experience, 0:05:26.200 --> 0:05:28.039 and that needs to be said. You know, people wonder 0:05:28.080 --> 0:05:30.080 why would a guy like James Harden go to the 0:05:30.080 --> 0:05:31.960 strip club all the time in Houston. You know, he's 0:05:31.960 --> 0:05:35.200 a legend. They've retired his number at the ballet there 0:05:35.200 --> 0:05:39.120 in Houston from the Rockets there James Harden. Well, the reason, 0:05:39.480 --> 0:05:42.080 all right, first of all is when you go in 0:05:42.200 --> 0:05:43.719 as a regular person. I think most of us have 0:05:43.800 --> 0:05:46.200 done that as guys, get some point gun into the 0:05:46.240 --> 0:05:49.760 ballet um. You know, you buy a drink, you know, 0:05:49.960 --> 0:05:53.320 the whole thing you gotta. They're all kind of working 0:05:53.360 --> 0:05:56.440 a little bit to get lab dances or whatever. By 0:05:56.680 --> 0:06:02.000 when you go in with professional athletes, the the strippers 0:06:02.520 --> 0:06:05.960 have this radar. I don't know how they have it, 0:06:06.040 --> 0:06:10.120 but they find out right away that there's there's a 0:06:10.120 --> 0:06:12.320 big they call him in Vegas, they call him Wales, 0:06:13.240 --> 0:06:15.799 and uh, somebody was some cash in there. And I 0:06:15.880 --> 0:06:17.280 back in the days when I was doing stuff with 0:06:17.320 --> 0:06:20.119 the Dodgers, occasionally we would go out and the guys 0:06:20.160 --> 0:06:24.120 would let me tag along when there shenanigans. And because 0:06:24.120 --> 0:06:27.400 I was harmless at that time, I was on the 0:06:27.440 --> 0:06:31.160 on the payroll as a lapdog pr guying the the 0:06:31.200 --> 0:06:34.240 Dodger talk show, and so we would go out and uh, 0:06:34.279 --> 0:06:37.160 it was unbelievable, man. I I remember one of my 0:06:37.360 --> 0:06:40.839 most amazing nights was in New York at a strip 0:06:40.839 --> 0:06:43.719 club called Tens, which I don't even know is still 0:06:43.720 --> 0:06:45.880 in New York City anymore. But went there with a 0:06:45.880 --> 0:06:50.520 bunch of Dodger guys and pretty much that place was open. Um. 0:06:50.520 --> 0:06:53.200 We got back to the hotel, the sun was coming up, 0:06:54.720 --> 0:06:57.240 and that there was a there was a damn day 0:06:57.279 --> 0:07:00.440 game at at Chase Stadium. There's back when Mets playing 0:07:00.440 --> 0:07:01.960 in Shade Stadium. So it was a day game at 0:07:01.960 --> 0:07:06.039 Shay Right. And so the guys I hung out with 0:07:06.080 --> 0:07:09.279 were mostly the relief pictures. They liked me, they bonded 0:07:09.440 --> 0:07:12.160 for some reason, I bonded with these guys. So it 0:07:12.240 --> 0:07:15.280 was it was like but not like the big closer guy. 0:07:15.280 --> 0:07:17.040 It was like the set up guys, the long guys, 0:07:17.120 --> 0:07:19.440 you know those guys. So so I'm hanging out with 0:07:19.480 --> 0:07:22.240 those guys and i get back to the hotel, you know, 0:07:22.320 --> 0:07:24.400 and I'm a young guy, but I'm a big fat guy. 0:07:24.400 --> 0:07:26.800 I'm not in great condition and all that. I'm certainly 0:07:26.840 --> 0:07:28.640 not used to that. I lived a sheltered life in 0:07:28.680 --> 0:07:31.040 Orange County. This was like an eye opening experience to me, 0:07:31.680 --> 0:07:34.240 and I've never been in that circle. So I get 0:07:34.240 --> 0:07:36.680 back to the hotel and you know, Son's coming up 0:07:36.680 --> 0:07:40.160 over Manhattan, you know, the Midtown right over the Grand 0:07:40.240 --> 0:07:43.720 Hyatt there, Grand Central Station. So we get back to 0:07:43.720 --> 0:07:47.560 the hotel, Sons coming up. I'm like, holy fuck, there's 0:07:47.600 --> 0:07:50.440 a day game at Shay. I mean, what these guys 0:07:50.480 --> 0:07:53.239 aren't gonna be able to pitch? You know, these guys, 0:07:53.440 --> 0:07:55.800 I don't know how I'm gonna be able to survive. 0:07:55.880 --> 0:07:57.920 I I get like, you know, three hours of sleep, 0:07:58.000 --> 0:07:59.800 and then I had to go out get on the 0:08:00.040 --> 0:08:02.840 so whatever going on the game, and so anyway, long 0:08:02.880 --> 0:08:07.360 story short, I end up going out to the ballpark. Whatever. 0:08:07.400 --> 0:08:11.360 It wasn't that bad. But these guys, two or two 0:08:11.400 --> 0:08:12.760 of the guys that believe I think it might be 0:08:12.840 --> 0:08:15.280 in three, but it was two for sure, pitched in 0:08:15.320 --> 0:08:20.200 that game and pitched perfectly. It was unbelievable. I never 0:08:20.200 --> 0:08:22.920 said any like it. I mean, I thought, there's no 0:08:22.960 --> 0:08:25.400 way if I if I had been a degenerate night 0:08:25.520 --> 0:08:27.480 access to like a lot of money, I would have 0:08:27.520 --> 0:08:31.640 bet anything against these guys because they there's no way, 0:08:31.680 --> 0:08:34.720 how can you possibly perform at that level after spending 0:08:34.760 --> 0:08:37.080 all night you know, at the at the at the club. 0:08:37.320 --> 0:08:39.560 But they were able to do it. And David Wells didn't. 0:08:39.559 --> 0:08:42.320 He throw a perfect game for the Yankees with a 0:08:42.360 --> 0:08:46.880 massive hangover too, like back in. Yeah, that's the that's 0:08:46.880 --> 0:08:49.240 the legendary story, right. And then the famous there was 0:08:49.280 --> 0:08:52.080 the picture for the Pirates that he was on LSD, Right, 0:08:52.120 --> 0:08:54.600 that's the other famous story that always gets repeated. And 0:08:54.920 --> 0:08:58.640 he was seeing all kinds of stuff, all kinds of 0:08:58.679 --> 0:09:01.760 odd stuff. So what did you do for your birthday? Then? 0:09:01.760 --> 0:09:06.199 What kind of dances did you get? Uh? Are you 0:09:06.240 --> 0:09:09.840 talking about like that back then? I mean I'm talking 0:09:09.840 --> 0:09:12.559 about earlier in the week. What kind of dances there? Yeah? 0:09:12.600 --> 0:09:15.520 I was something well, I don't know, I mean I 0:09:15.720 --> 0:09:18.240 got I did a zoom call because that's what you 0:09:18.280 --> 0:09:21.760 do in quarantine. When you have a birthday, Well your birthday. 0:09:21.800 --> 0:09:24.320 You share a birthday with O. J. Simpson and Tom Hanks, 0:09:25.000 --> 0:09:27.880 Oh Jay, I share a birthday with Bernie made Off. 0:09:28.760 --> 0:09:32.240 So who's who's got the worst celebrity tag along on 0:09:32.280 --> 0:09:35.280 their birthday? Bernie made Off or O J? Bernie didn't 0:09:35.520 --> 0:09:39.080 kill anybody, although several people committed suicide because of Bernie 0:09:40.120 --> 0:09:44.640 O J? Chop Chop? And who else is in my 0:09:44.679 --> 0:09:48.240 birth I got Jerry Seinfeld. That's pretty good. That's not 0:09:48.280 --> 0:09:50.440 a bad one, right, So I felt not big anymore, 0:09:50.520 --> 0:09:53.600 But he was the number one comedian comedian guy back 0:09:53.600 --> 0:09:56.720 in the day. Uh, there was a list of people 0:09:56.800 --> 0:10:01.520 that were nothing. It's just just fascinating pod gist. Who else? 0:10:01.640 --> 0:10:04.800 Oh the Mets TV guy who's very good, Gary Cohen. Oh, 0:10:04.960 --> 0:10:07.280 yeah's birthday as well. I like him. He's he's solid, 0:10:07.280 --> 0:10:09.360 He's rock solid. And so how old did you turn? 0:10:09.679 --> 0:10:12.040 Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller 0:10:12.120 --> 0:10:15.640 Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on 0:10:15.760 --> 0:10:19.679 Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio. I just 0:10:19.760 --> 0:10:23.520 turned twenty nine, so I'm almost thirties, So twenty nine 0:10:23.559 --> 0:10:26.239 years old where I am right now? So I will 0:10:26.240 --> 0:10:28.520 stay there for a while. Yeah, I'll say that you're 0:10:28.559 --> 0:10:31.120 not aging great then if that's the case. But you 0:10:31.160 --> 0:10:33.760 know what, there's still plenty of years ahead for you. 0:10:34.000 --> 0:10:36.120 So I'm sure it was just an oversight by you 0:10:36.240 --> 0:10:40.360 too to not send the the birthday message. There, we 0:10:41.120 --> 0:10:43.400 considered it. You probably thought about it, you know, but 0:10:43.440 --> 0:10:45.400 I think the problem, you know, a full disclosure, The 0:10:45.440 --> 0:10:50.600 reason Guesstcon did not send the message is because he 0:10:50.640 --> 0:10:52.840 doesn't listen to the show because he's not a fan. 0:10:53.080 --> 0:10:54.920 So he don't listen to the radio show. Because there's 0:10:54.960 --> 0:10:57.200 a lot of birthday references on the show. And then secondly, 0:10:57.200 --> 0:10:59.800 the other problem with Gascon, and this is maybe the 0:10:59.800 --> 0:11:02.680 big your issue is he's not on Facebook. And if 0:11:02.720 --> 0:11:05.440 you're on I'm like bad at Facebook because I don't 0:11:05.480 --> 0:11:07.880 go on there every day, and I go on there sporadically. 0:11:07.880 --> 0:11:09.679 I'll get in there and I'll try to catch up 0:11:09.679 --> 0:11:11.880 on what my old friends are doing now and stuff 0:11:11.920 --> 0:11:13.520 like that. But if you if they have all the 0:11:13.559 --> 0:11:15.920 birthday mess just like I know when people's birthdays are 0:11:15.960 --> 0:11:18.520 only from Facebook, you're not on there, so you have 0:11:18.559 --> 0:11:21.240 no way of knowing when birthdays are. I don't really care. 0:11:21.520 --> 0:11:24.160 I can. I guess I could sell myself out. But 0:11:24.760 --> 0:11:26.800 I did get a notification on LinkedIn that it was 0:11:26.880 --> 0:11:30.760 your birthday and you chose not to Well, I think 0:11:30.800 --> 0:11:33.920 it's more appropriate to to call people or to talk 0:11:33.960 --> 0:11:36.080 to them face to face and give them a birthday 0:11:36.120 --> 0:11:40.440 shot out and not really texting. UM. And since I 0:11:40.480 --> 0:11:43.160 don't talk to you outside of when you decided to 0:11:43.160 --> 0:11:46.040 call because you won't pick up your phone, that's not 0:11:46.320 --> 0:11:48.800 I thought this is the most appropriate time to wish 0:11:48.840 --> 0:11:52.920 you happy birthday. Yes, I I go into Frankenstein's lab 0:11:53.480 --> 0:11:56.280 to get ready for the show I have. I know 0:11:56.480 --> 0:11:58.920 this is weird. You have like laser like folkus. I 0:11:59.120 --> 0:12:03.000 I follow Coughlin clock alright when you get to little 0:12:03.040 --> 0:12:06.280 early and follow that and then um locked in. I 0:12:06.320 --> 0:12:08.800 wanna locked in. I'm gonna I want to do a 0:12:08.880 --> 0:12:12.360 good show. I want to be prepared. The degree of 0:12:12.400 --> 0:12:15.120 difficulties gone up during the pandemic. There's not as much 0:12:15.160 --> 0:12:17.520 to choose from. The options are limited, so you have 0:12:17.600 --> 0:12:22.000 to to make as Bill Parcel said, chicken salad, chicken 0:12:22.040 --> 0:12:24.800 ship and so it takes a lot of effort to 0:12:24.840 --> 0:12:27.720 do that, and I know you would understand, and doing 0:12:27.760 --> 0:12:30.240 some of the steaks being raised, then that means more 0:12:30.360 --> 0:12:33.760 color driven power hour is correct, So the amount of 0:12:33.800 --> 0:12:36.880 prep you have to do is decrease quite a bit. Well, 0:12:36.920 --> 0:12:39.559 I know that you're trying to be funny over there, 0:12:39.559 --> 0:12:42.600 and you do. You do not find the power hours appealingly, 0:12:42.679 --> 0:12:46.840 but the listeners love them. They can't get enough of them. 0:12:46.920 --> 0:12:50.559 In fact, next week, Cowboy John Brad from Windsor on tear. 0:12:50.720 --> 0:12:54.840 This guy has been calling talk radio since the nineteen sixties, 0:12:55.120 --> 0:12:58.280 very provocative and he will be on to tell us 0:12:58.320 --> 0:13:01.360 some rip roaring stories about the old days, calling radio 0:13:01.440 --> 0:13:04.800 shows and it will be intoxicating, guest. And I know 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:08.160 you're kind of a creature of habit. We're all creatures 0:13:08.200 --> 0:13:10.640 of habit. But you don't ever think outside the box. 0:13:11.120 --> 0:13:14.640 And so some of us have to think outside the box. 0:13:14.720 --> 0:13:17.400 And for example, the other night, we had a very 0:13:17.400 --> 0:13:23.800 successful event. We brought back live sports amazingly to radio boxing, 0:13:24.200 --> 0:13:28.720 the verbal Octagon, the Thriller in the Malarilla Blind Scott 0:13:28.960 --> 0:13:34.440 versus the Mallar Militia and overlooked, underappreciated radio event and 0:13:34.559 --> 0:13:39.960 it was amazing. People absolutely loved it. And I don't 0:13:39.960 --> 0:13:41.880 know how we can repeat that, but it was an 0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:46.000 amazing situation and we're so excited again, Guess. And there's 0:13:46.040 --> 0:13:49.720 the difference between the follower and the leader, right, the 0:13:49.800 --> 0:13:52.800 alpha dog and the omega. You're more of an omega. 0:13:52.840 --> 0:13:55.520 I'm more of a pioneer. I'm more of an innovator. I' 0:13:55.559 --> 0:14:00.000 more of an architect. An originator is what I am. 0:14:00.040 --> 0:14:04.160 I will acknowledge and apply your efforts for doing a 0:14:04.160 --> 0:14:09.240 lot more digitally, your your video monologues or fantastic. I'm 0:14:09.280 --> 0:14:12.560 happy that you've actually gotten to not only first Gear, 0:14:12.600 --> 0:14:16.040 but now second gear with the digital platforms. So being 0:14:16.080 --> 0:14:18.640 the pioneer that you are, I know that it's about 0:14:18.679 --> 0:14:23.160 three sixty five days. Uh late, but butter late than 0:14:23.200 --> 0:14:25.920 never is is Ben Mally and so here we are 0:14:26.040 --> 0:14:29.400 with a new day. It's like it's like a television audition, 0:14:29.800 --> 0:14:33.400 is what it is, unless it's not. But uh now 0:14:33.480 --> 0:14:36.680 it is cool. See. I figure it's good promotion. Any 0:14:36.680 --> 0:14:39.360 promotions good promotion, but people actually are I was a 0:14:39.400 --> 0:14:41.320 little concerned when I first start, was gonna want to 0:14:41.320 --> 0:14:45.280 look at my fat face on the video. But people 0:14:45.520 --> 0:14:48.120 have been downloading, and they've been watching it on the 0:14:48.120 --> 0:14:51.520 different platforms, and thousands and thousands of people that watch that. 0:14:51.520 --> 0:14:53.880 That's why it's kind of cool. I I've been I 0:14:53.920 --> 0:14:55.320 know you don't like this either, because you don't like 0:14:55.360 --> 0:14:57.080 the little person you're in the leadist you West of 0:14:57.120 --> 0:14:59.760 the four oh five. This is gonna be groundbreaking for you. 0:14:59.800 --> 0:15:01.920 But I try. I'm trying to mix in some some 0:15:02.000 --> 0:15:05.240 different hats to to give a tribute to because thousands 0:15:05.280 --> 0:15:07.000 of people are watching these stupid videos. I wore a 0:15:07.040 --> 0:15:10.920 hat for Ed from Spokane. He has a gardening business 0:15:10.960 --> 0:15:12.480 there and he gave me one of his hats when 0:15:12.480 --> 0:15:15.040 I was in Seattle, so I I wore that there, 0:15:15.120 --> 0:15:17.320 and uh, you know, I was. I was gonna wear 0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:22.240 a hat from my wife's she works at a police station, 0:15:22.280 --> 0:15:26.280 but she advised me not to. She's a little concerned 0:15:26.280 --> 0:15:30.120 about the Mallard malicious stockers, so uh and I understand that, 0:15:30.280 --> 0:15:32.720 but I but I would like to wear like maybe 0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:34.680 your dad has an old l apd hat or something 0:15:34.680 --> 0:15:36.560 like that, Like i'd wear that or something. You know, 0:15:36.560 --> 0:15:41.320 I represent whatever, So I'm open. You said your hat 0:15:41.360 --> 0:15:42.760 size is on an eighth though, or an eight in 0:15:42.760 --> 0:15:46.240 a quarter. That's an eight. It's so it's a big head. Yeah, 0:15:46.280 --> 0:15:49.240 it's a big melon. It's giant. Joe McDonald, the late 0:15:49.280 --> 0:15:53.000 great Joe McDonald, a radio legend in Los Angeles, and 0:15:53.040 --> 0:15:56.080 a colleague of mine called me melon Head. That was 0:15:56.160 --> 0:15:58.960 my nickname. He called me melon Head back in the day, 0:15:59.160 --> 0:16:02.440 and we had some some battles. We patched things up 0:16:02.440 --> 0:16:04.160 though before he passed away, but we had we had 0:16:04.160 --> 0:16:06.560 a few battles over the years, but we good name. 0:16:07.240 --> 0:16:09.240 I didn't have a lot of battles of people that 0:16:09.360 --> 0:16:12.520 you don't agree with and I can't understand their side 0:16:12.520 --> 0:16:14.480 of things or don't listen. So it's good to see 0:16:14.480 --> 0:16:17.240 you patch things up before he went and took the 0:16:17.240 --> 0:16:20.200 dirt nap. So that's good. I'm happy for you. So 0:16:20.280 --> 0:16:22.640 do you feel better now? I mean dirt nap? I 0:16:22.640 --> 0:16:24.920 mean that's you know, that's what it is. That's fine. 0:16:24.960 --> 0:16:27.080 So do you feel do you feel older? Do you 0:16:27.800 --> 0:16:30.080 feel younger? Do you feel the same now that you've 0:16:30.800 --> 0:16:34.720 you've christened the new five? Oh? No, I feel the 0:16:35.720 --> 0:16:38.760 five of you. Thought I wasn't listening. I usually don't, 0:16:38.800 --> 0:16:44.280 but schmuck. Wow. You I such a douche che right there, 0:16:44.440 --> 0:16:50.120 David Gascon. I'm gonna teach you. You're you're my disciple, 0:16:50.320 --> 0:16:53.200 and I'm trying to teach you here, but of course 0:16:53.280 --> 0:16:56.360 not anywhere near fifty and that I can't even see 0:16:56.400 --> 0:16:58.920 it on the horizon, can't even see it on the horizon, 0:16:59.120 --> 0:17:02.760 and feel no different. I feel no different at all. 0:17:03.000 --> 0:17:05.639 I mentioned the zoom thing. I got a surprise and 0:17:05.680 --> 0:17:07.960 this actually ties into the pandemic. So I get on 0:17:08.000 --> 0:17:10.199 the zoom to talk to my brothers, and everyone moved 0:17:10.200 --> 0:17:13.359 out of California. And I don't blame them. I mean, please, 0:17:14.320 --> 0:17:16.840 I would too if I could, but I can't right now. 0:17:16.880 --> 0:17:20.040 But anyway, so the my my brother I got one 0:17:20.040 --> 0:17:22.440 brother who lives in New York, in New York City, 0:17:22.440 --> 0:17:25.480 and I got another brother lives in Appleton, Wisconsin. And 0:17:25.800 --> 0:17:28.400 you know, I never see him, especially now because what's 0:17:28.440 --> 0:17:30.560 going on. Maybe once a year I'll see my brother 0:17:30.600 --> 0:17:32.359 from New York. And I haven't seen my brother from 0:17:32.400 --> 0:17:35.840 Wisconsin in several years. And so yeah, we do zoom 0:17:35.920 --> 0:17:38.399 chat catch up and my brother from New York gets on, 0:17:38.480 --> 0:17:42.120 and I'm thinking he's got you know those filters on 0:17:42.680 --> 0:17:45.479 Instagram and the kind of where you can put different 0:17:45.480 --> 0:17:48.240 faces on, you know what I'm talking about. So I'm thinking, like, 0:17:48.400 --> 0:17:51.520 my brother's got a filter on because he's bald, right, 0:17:52.160 --> 0:17:55.960 my bald brother. And I'm like, what the hell I said, 0:17:56.000 --> 0:17:58.120 take the filter off? You know, What's what's going on there? 0:17:58.119 --> 0:18:02.440 I think my phone's acting up and turns out his hair. 0:18:02.520 --> 0:18:04.040 He was so tired of not being able to get 0:18:04.040 --> 0:18:06.520 a haircut because all the barbershops are closed because the 0:18:06.640 --> 0:18:10.960 politicians that he he just shaved his head. He just 0:18:10.960 --> 0:18:13.040 shaved all the hair off. He was his hair was 0:18:13.080 --> 0:18:14.840 growing too long. He got tired of it. It was 0:18:14.880 --> 0:18:18.800 annoying him, and so he just trim, trim and guy 0:18:18.880 --> 0:18:20.359 rid of all of it. Who did it? Did his 0:18:20.480 --> 0:18:23.280 Mrs Doudery dude himself? Uh? No, was it was him 0:18:23.320 --> 0:18:28.200 and his his daughter's helped him. The wife not a fan. 0:18:28.560 --> 0:18:31.600 His his bride not a fan of the bald look 0:18:32.040 --> 0:18:36.040 of my my older brother. Now does that mean that 0:18:36.040 --> 0:18:38.879 you're gonna do something like that? You know, I have 0:18:39.000 --> 0:18:41.000 weird I don't have a lot up top, but I 0:18:41.040 --> 0:18:44.199 have a lot on the sides, which doesn't It's not 0:18:44.280 --> 0:18:47.760 a good look. I'm a baseball hat guy. I have 0:18:48.040 --> 0:18:50.400 thought about it, but I I don't look good now. 0:18:50.480 --> 0:18:53.400 I can't imagine I would look good bald. And then 0:18:53.440 --> 0:18:56.000 I've heard different stories about when you shave your your 0:18:56.040 --> 0:18:58.200 head and get rid of all your hair, like it 0:18:58.440 --> 0:19:02.000 grows back. Strange, lead doesn't go back the same, you know, 0:19:02.040 --> 0:19:04.240 And I'm concerned about that. What kind of weird ship 0:19:04.359 --> 0:19:06.719 would happen if I did get rid of all that? 0:19:06.840 --> 0:19:08.800 And then there's like maintenance, Like I have a my 0:19:08.840 --> 0:19:11.879 buddy in Dallas, uh, my old elementary school buddy that 0:19:11.880 --> 0:19:13.359 I still talk to you, which with the I R S. 0:19:13.440 --> 0:19:15.320 So I hate him because it actually I rs. We 0:19:15.320 --> 0:19:17.440 still get along, litle bit. And uh he shaved his 0:19:17.520 --> 0:19:19.399 head years ago because he's you know, he's losing this 0:19:19.400 --> 0:19:20.840 hair a little bit, so he's just shaved it. But 0:19:20.920 --> 0:19:22.840 then there's like a lot of maintenance you don't even 0:19:22.840 --> 0:19:25.760 realize because I'm not in the cult of being bald, 0:19:26.160 --> 0:19:27.879 where you shave your head. But there's like a lot 0:19:27.920 --> 0:19:29.960 of maintens. You gotta like every day, you gotta be 0:19:30.000 --> 0:19:32.159 on it. You gotta like put product on it to 0:19:32.280 --> 0:19:34.480 shine it up a little bit. Like there's it's like 0:19:34.560 --> 0:19:36.760 polishing a bowling ball. There's a lot of stuff that 0:19:36.800 --> 0:19:40.360 goes into it that we don't even know about. Well, well, 0:19:40.760 --> 0:19:42.960 thankfully you're in quarantine right now, so it's not like 0:19:42.960 --> 0:19:45.480 you're gonna go see the masses. So you can you 0:19:45.600 --> 0:19:48.720 try a couple of things. And if you my my plan, listen, 0:19:48.800 --> 0:19:51.000 my plan was, I was just gonna I was gonna 0:19:51.160 --> 0:19:54.640 not shave my beard at all, you know, not shaved 0:19:54.800 --> 0:19:57.720 in that whole thing. And then look whatever, who cares, 0:19:57.760 --> 0:20:01.960 I don't care. I'll show you my bohemian endencies, my quirkiness, whatever. 0:20:02.000 --> 0:20:04.879 And but then I started the company asked me to 0:20:04.920 --> 0:20:07.040 do these video things, and I'm like, wow, if I'm 0:20:07.040 --> 0:20:10.080 gonna be on camera, I mean, that's that crap. Last forever, 0:20:10.760 --> 0:20:13.840 and so I don't want to look like a disheveled mess. 0:20:13.880 --> 0:20:15.960 So I gotta at least take care of my appearance 0:20:15.960 --> 0:20:19.040 a little bit. Um. So that's why. But if if 0:20:19.080 --> 0:20:20.879 I didn't do the video stuff, I would not have 0:20:20.920 --> 0:20:23.600 shaved at all, and I would just whatever. Who cares 0:20:23.600 --> 0:20:25.520 to be doing the show in my underwear? I don't care, 0:20:25.600 --> 0:20:28.080 but that's not how it works, and you don't do 0:20:28.440 --> 0:20:31.120 the show in your underwear. Be sure to catch live 0:20:31.280 --> 0:20:33.840