1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,040 Speaker 1: When we have to make hard decisions, whether it's in 2 00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:06,120 Speaker 1: your relationships, in your career, your interactions with the world 3 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:08,440 Speaker 1: around you, when you are gone at the end of 4 00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:10,840 Speaker 1: your life, what is going to be the best part 5 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:21,040 Speaker 1: of your story? What story do you want to tell? 6 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:31,520 Speaker 2: Hey everyone, Emily Body here, coming to you from the 7 00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:32,320 Speaker 2: AG studio. 8 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:35,680 Speaker 3: You are listening to episode two hundred and. 9 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:39,479 Speaker 2: Two of Hurdle, a wellness focused podcast where I connect 10 00:00:39,479 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 2: with everyone from your favorite athletes to top experts and 11 00:00:42,159 --> 00:00:46,519 Speaker 2: industry CEOs about their highest highs, toughest moments, and everything 12 00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:49,680 Speaker 2: in between. We all go through hurdles in life, and 13 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:52,360 Speaker 2: my goal through these discussions is to empower you to 14 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:55,680 Speaker 2: better navigate yours and move with intention so that you 15 00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:58,480 Speaker 2: can stride towards your own big potential. 16 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:02,080 Speaker 3: And of course have some fun along the way. 17 00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:09,440 Speaker 2: Today's conversation with Sally McRae is honestly, I'm trying to 18 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:10,200 Speaker 2: find the words. 19 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:11,319 Speaker 3: It's inspiring. 20 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:17,720 Speaker 2: It is really heartfelt and vulnerable, and I could have 21 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:22,679 Speaker 2: spent goodness like, the better part of three hours talking 22 00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:28,080 Speaker 2: to Sally. This conversation is about one hour, but even 23 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:30,640 Speaker 2: at the end of it, I just was sitting there 24 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:33,960 Speaker 2: in amazement. Thinking that there were so many more topics 25 00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:36,400 Speaker 2: that we could have touched on. We don't even get 26 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:40,920 Speaker 2: into the why behind her nickname the Yellow Runner, which 27 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:44,840 Speaker 2: is actually because growing up, her nickname was Sunshine, So, 28 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:49,400 Speaker 2: as you can imagine, hence comes Yellow Runner. 29 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:50,560 Speaker 3: I digress. 30 00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:55,840 Speaker 2: Sally and I talk about so much in episode two two. 31 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:59,400 Speaker 2: We talk about her upbringing and the difficulties that she 32 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:03,919 Speaker 2: faced living in a household with abuse from her father, 33 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:07,760 Speaker 2: both emotional and physical. She talks about the love she 34 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:11,280 Speaker 2: had for her mother and how difficult it was to 35 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:15,359 Speaker 2: lose her to cancer, and also, you know, the massive 36 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:19,480 Speaker 2: impactful role that her mother had on her life, so 37 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:24,280 Speaker 2: much grace, so much wisdom that Sally undoubtedly carries with 38 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:29,200 Speaker 2: her through her every single day. Sally talks about how 39 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:33,040 Speaker 2: her relationship with God helped her to forgive her father 40 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:37,640 Speaker 2: and move forward, and what that looked like for their relationship, 41 00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:41,359 Speaker 2: and we do have a really special discussion about boundaries 42 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:45,480 Speaker 2: and about how at times the quote unquote right thing 43 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:50,160 Speaker 2: for you may not be totally understood by the people 44 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:53,840 Speaker 2: around you. She also talks to me about getting into 45 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:58,720 Speaker 2: ultra running and how the sport has completely transformed her 46 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:02,720 Speaker 2: life and about her proudest accomplishments, which although she has 47 00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:06,600 Speaker 2: done some gnarly stuff in her career as an athlete, 48 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:10,680 Speaker 2: one of them is being able to succeed in her 49 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:15,200 Speaker 2: sport as a mother of two. We talk about goal setting, 50 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:18,560 Speaker 2: we talk about what excites Sally right now. We talk 51 00:03:18,639 --> 00:03:21,799 Speaker 2: about so much goodness in this episode, and I am 52 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:26,000 Speaker 2: just elated that Sally found the time for hurdle and 53 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:29,600 Speaker 2: that she is standing on her own two feet, proud 54 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:32,720 Speaker 2: of the woman that she's become, and sharing her beautiful 55 00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:36,960 Speaker 2: story and self with the world. You know, I stumbled 56 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:40,440 Speaker 2: upon one of those posts on Facebook where it shows 57 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:43,560 Speaker 2: you what you were doing thirteen years ago, and thirteen 58 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,960 Speaker 2: years ago I was sharing with my followers at the 59 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:51,040 Speaker 2: time that I landed in internship at Fitness Magazine. And 60 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:55,320 Speaker 2: when I think about that young Emily two thousand and nine, Emily, 61 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:58,560 Speaker 2: she would be so damn proud of what I am 62 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 2: doing in my career right now and probably wouldn't even 63 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:06,880 Speaker 2: believe the unbelievable people that I've had the opportunity to 64 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:10,840 Speaker 2: interview and talk to and this career path, and so lately, 65 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:14,720 Speaker 2: I'm personally just feeling a whole lot of gratitude for Hurdle, 66 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:19,039 Speaker 2: for all of you hurdlers for empowering me to literally 67 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:24,440 Speaker 2: live out my dreams of connecting through community and having 68 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:30,240 Speaker 2: important discussions and really making my passions for wellness and 69 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:35,760 Speaker 2: fitness and conversation into a career. It's truly, it's truly, 70 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:39,240 Speaker 2: really special. Make sure you're following along over with Hurdle 71 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,840 Speaker 2: on Socialists at Hurdle Podcast. I am over at Emily 72 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,800 Speaker 2: a Body and with that, I'm gonna get to it 73 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:46,280 Speaker 2: right now. 74 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:58,080 Speaker 3: Let's get to hurdling today. 75 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:01,160 Speaker 2: I am sitting down with Sally mcray. She is an 76 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:04,320 Speaker 2: ultrarunner also host of the Choo Strong podcast. 77 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:05,360 Speaker 3: Sally, how you doing? 78 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:06,920 Speaker 4: I'm doing great? 79 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:08,120 Speaker 3: Really, what's going on? 80 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:09,440 Speaker 4: Well? 81 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:11,520 Speaker 1: You know, I just got back from a run and 82 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:14,560 Speaker 1: I'm having a little bit of watering coffee right now 83 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:16,760 Speaker 1: and was so excited to talk to you. I just 84 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,720 Speaker 1: I want to say thank you for inviting me on 85 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:21,880 Speaker 1: in the first place. I love I love doing this, 86 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:22,640 Speaker 1: I love talking. 87 00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:26,320 Speaker 2: Thank you for giving me your time and absolute Now, Brainer, 88 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:31,400 Speaker 2: not only are you such an accomplished athlete, but I 89 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:34,799 Speaker 2: could listen to you talk forever. 90 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:36,200 Speaker 3: Oh, thank you. 91 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:39,000 Speaker 1: That's a huge compliment coming from you because You're amazing 92 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:39,680 Speaker 1: at what you do. 93 00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:41,719 Speaker 3: So I really appreciate that. 94 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:45,280 Speaker 2: I really, again, I do, I really appreciate your time. Well, 95 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:47,760 Speaker 2: stop just like telling everyone how much we love each other. Now, 96 00:05:48,279 --> 00:05:50,840 Speaker 2: you know, people like, get on with it. People are like, okay, 97 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:52,839 Speaker 2: we get it. You guys like each other. I will 98 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:55,000 Speaker 2: say this. You know, I have listened to you on 99 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,760 Speaker 2: a fair share of other podcasts now, and we'll get 100 00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:01,280 Speaker 2: into your backstory and you know kind of the building 101 00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:03,559 Speaker 2: blocks of the question that I'm about to ask here. 102 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:09,800 Speaker 2: But you have spoken so openly about the difficulties that 103 00:06:09,839 --> 00:06:12,680 Speaker 2: you have been through in your life and the pain. 104 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:13,640 Speaker 3: That you have experienced. 105 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:18,120 Speaker 2: But what I find so interesting about it is how 106 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:24,200 Speaker 2: humble you are in expressing your journey. But more specifically, 107 00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:26,320 Speaker 2: and this is what I'd love to unpack a little bit. 108 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:31,840 Speaker 2: You talking about how, yes, you know pain, but that 109 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:35,280 Speaker 2: you continually meet and see individuals that are going through 110 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:39,200 Speaker 2: things that in your lens, which is quote unquote even 111 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,760 Speaker 2: more difficult than the things that you have been through. 112 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 2: And I think that sometimes that can be a little 113 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:47,120 Speaker 2: bit dangerous is a big word, but a little bit dangerous. 114 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:49,160 Speaker 2: When we get to this place where we're comparing like 115 00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:51,760 Speaker 2: I went through something hard, but they are also going 116 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:56,080 Speaker 2: through something hard, Like, wouldn't you say that everyone is 117 00:06:56,279 --> 00:06:58,920 Speaker 2: almost entitled to their struggle? 118 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:01,279 Speaker 3: Yeah? Absolutely. You know. 119 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:04,520 Speaker 1: I love that you asked this question because I gave 120 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:09,640 Speaker 1: a talk back in Texas in November and it was 121 00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:15,720 Speaker 1: this event was made up of high level athletes, entrepreneurs, businessmen. 122 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:19,360 Speaker 1: It was like a yeah, kind of like an encouraging weekend, 123 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:23,360 Speaker 1: and so I shared my story in somebody in the 124 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:27,000 Speaker 1: audience actually raised their hand and they were like, Dude, 125 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:31,280 Speaker 1: I mentor people I coach people like life coaching and stuff. 126 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:36,120 Speaker 1: He's like, I personally really struggle when somebody is complaining 127 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:38,760 Speaker 1: about something so small and they see it as like 128 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:41,000 Speaker 1: such a big pain and such a big challenge or 129 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:44,720 Speaker 1: in their life, and he's like, how do you tolerate that? 130 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 1: He's like, I listen to your story and he's like, 131 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:49,600 Speaker 1: mine is you know, I didn't go I didn't have 132 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:52,520 Speaker 1: the path that you did. And he's like, but then 133 00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:55,720 Speaker 1: there's other people that you know are stagnant in that 134 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:58,320 Speaker 1: complain so much about something so small, like how do 135 00:07:58,400 --> 00:07:59,680 Speaker 1: you talk to all people? 136 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:00,320 Speaker 4: And that way? 137 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:04,800 Speaker 1: And so you know, I think that I really believe 138 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:09,000 Speaker 1: that our journeys and our stories are so specific to us. 139 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,960 Speaker 1: They are all valuable, they are all precious, but many 140 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:15,360 Speaker 1: times what helps us get through some of the most 141 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:18,160 Speaker 1: challenging things in our life is understanding that it's a 142 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:21,440 Speaker 1: part of all of our lives. And it is sad 143 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:24,880 Speaker 1: when when you meet people that since the time you 144 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:27,600 Speaker 1: know they were born, they grew up in a house 145 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:30,320 Speaker 1: of pain, or that they were forgotten or abandoned or 146 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:33,079 Speaker 1: orphaned or you know, and have had to work their 147 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:36,240 Speaker 1: way through understanding that there is good in life and 148 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:38,320 Speaker 1: that there is good things for them and that the 149 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:42,320 Speaker 1: best is yet to come. It's really difficult to encourage people. 150 00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:44,400 Speaker 3: That live every day in pain. 151 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:47,920 Speaker 1: But at the same time, you know, you meet people 152 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,440 Speaker 1: that maybe their lives started out great, like grew up 153 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:53,320 Speaker 1: in a great family, like they kind of had, you know, 154 00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:57,280 Speaker 1: lots of opportunities and weren't really at one, and then 155 00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:59,360 Speaker 1: all of a sudden in their forties they're hit with 156 00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:04,080 Speaker 1: catashe and tragedy, and so I I the messaging I 157 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,640 Speaker 1: like to give it is like that is always talking 158 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:09,040 Speaker 1: about the journey. And when I say you don't know 159 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:12,000 Speaker 1: what's around the corner, you don't know what's ahead. It's 160 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:14,800 Speaker 1: there's two sides of that, Like you could be at 161 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,240 Speaker 1: a point in your life you are just flying high. 162 00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:20,720 Speaker 1: It's amazing, like sky's the limit, Like you're reaching all 163 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,240 Speaker 1: your goals you have, you got money, you got a 164 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:26,560 Speaker 1: great family, but you don't know what's ahead. But so 165 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,559 Speaker 1: when you keep that in mind, it makes you appreciate 166 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:32,760 Speaker 1: life and be more gracious and compassionate to other people 167 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:36,200 Speaker 1: because at any moment, your life can change, and it 168 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:39,040 Speaker 1: can be it can change for good or it can 169 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:43,160 Speaker 1: change for bad. But the goal is to keep on going. 170 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:46,520 Speaker 1: So I don't like to use it. As you know, 171 00:09:46,559 --> 00:09:49,240 Speaker 1: I actually wrote a post about this a while back. 172 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:52,319 Speaker 1: I said, the ultra running is not pain and suffering. 173 00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:54,480 Speaker 1: You know, we hear this so much that people talk 174 00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:57,200 Speaker 1: about running hundred miles, so like, oh, it's so much suffering, 175 00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:58,960 Speaker 1: so much pain. And I'm like, that's a gift that 176 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,559 Speaker 1: you get to do that, Like you signed up for that. 177 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:05,160 Speaker 1: You paid hundreds of dollars to get to that start line, 178 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:08,880 Speaker 1: for the opportunity to push yourself and see what you 179 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:12,040 Speaker 1: are made of, for an opportunity to have people come 180 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:14,440 Speaker 1: around you. You have crew that are like following you 181 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:17,320 Speaker 1: around for twenty four thirty hours just to support you 182 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:20,040 Speaker 1: to get the finish line. That's a massive gift. That 183 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:22,480 Speaker 1: is not pain and suffering. Yeah, you're gonna have some 184 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:25,480 Speaker 1: physical ache, some physical challenges. You're gonna be thrown up, 185 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:28,400 Speaker 1: having diarrhea, all the things, getting dizzy out there. I've 186 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:31,280 Speaker 1: experienced that all. But if you do not take what 187 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:33,640 Speaker 1: you learn on the trail, if you don't take what 188 00:10:33,679 --> 00:10:37,160 Speaker 1: you learn in your sport and apply it to real life, 189 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:40,640 Speaker 1: then you've lost You've lost out on so much. And 190 00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:43,320 Speaker 1: we see that a lot, I think, not just in running, 191 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:46,319 Speaker 1: but in all sport. Like we can be so tough 192 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:48,640 Speaker 1: and so gritty in sport, but if we can't be 193 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:50,960 Speaker 1: tough to endure with people, if we can't be tough 194 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:54,480 Speaker 1: to support other people in our real life, we've wasted 195 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,920 Speaker 1: the gift that we've been given. 196 00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:03,160 Speaker 2: Wow, the power of first ave too long, didn't listen. Basically, 197 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:06,839 Speaker 2: what Sally's trying to tell you is that perspective, perspective 198 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:11,880 Speaker 2: is everything. And I mean you mentioned in that all 199 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:14,880 Speaker 2: different types of people coming from you know, really great 200 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,800 Speaker 2: upbringings to maybe not so great upbringings, and I know 201 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:21,440 Speaker 2: from following along with your story that you certainly had 202 00:11:21,559 --> 00:11:24,280 Speaker 2: a fair share of hurdles within yours, So why don't 203 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:26,720 Speaker 2: you shed a little bit of light on that for 204 00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:28,479 Speaker 2: those that may be unfamiliar. 205 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:31,679 Speaker 1: Yeah, and I you know, I'm writing a memoir that 206 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:33,560 Speaker 1: I'm hoping to come out in the next few months. 207 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:36,360 Speaker 1: And I grew up in a family of seven in 208 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:39,520 Speaker 1: we lived in southern California, I'd say that. And I 209 00:11:39,559 --> 00:11:41,600 Speaker 1: always try to be really careful about how I talk 210 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:46,000 Speaker 1: about what I have and I didn't have, because starting 211 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:49,320 Speaker 1: at seventeen, I started traveling the world and I realized, oh, 212 00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:52,440 Speaker 1: I've always had a lot more than most than most people. 213 00:11:52,559 --> 00:11:55,280 Speaker 1: But I started working pretty young. I started going to 214 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:57,600 Speaker 1: work with my dad when I was seven. I had 215 00:11:57,640 --> 00:11:59,640 Speaker 1: two jobs by the time I was fifteen, and I've 216 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:02,560 Speaker 1: never not had two jobs. So I've always always worked, 217 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:05,600 Speaker 1: you know. There, I just we never had dental insurance, 218 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,839 Speaker 1: we never had medical insurance. You know, I always had 219 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:10,640 Speaker 1: holes in my shoes, and we had, you know, we 220 00:12:10,679 --> 00:12:13,480 Speaker 1: got government lunch. Grown up at school, we kind of 221 00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:16,280 Speaker 1: were from the other side of town, so you know, 222 00:12:16,679 --> 00:12:19,720 Speaker 1: where I lived, the lower income side of town was 223 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:23,600 Speaker 1: also it was very much more multicultural, so I grew 224 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:26,640 Speaker 1: up speaking Spanish. Most of my friends spoke Spanish, which 225 00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:29,760 Speaker 1: has served me very well today. But I think that 226 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:33,080 Speaker 1: in all of that struggle with five kids, but my 227 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,560 Speaker 1: parents were always struggling with money. There was a lot 228 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:38,679 Speaker 1: of stress in our home too. So my personality was 229 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:42,000 Speaker 1: pretty different from my siblings, and I was a little 230 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:45,960 Speaker 1: bit more outgoing, outspoken. I was a really happy, naturally 231 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:49,280 Speaker 1: happy kid. But my dad for whatever reason, was extremely 232 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:51,880 Speaker 1: displeased with me, just didn't like me. And I know 233 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:54,120 Speaker 1: it's kind of hard to understand, especially for anyone that's 234 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:57,480 Speaker 1: a parent that's listening, but there was nothing that I 235 00:12:57,640 --> 00:12:59,280 Speaker 1: could do to please him. 236 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,640 Speaker 3: And so because I kind of. 237 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:04,640 Speaker 1: Grew up as a overachiever, constantly being a people pleaser, 238 00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:07,360 Speaker 1: you know, I wanted to be perfect and everything I did, 239 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,920 Speaker 1: you name the award, I had it. Whether it was 240 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:14,760 Speaker 1: a physical education award or an academic award, I had 241 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:18,880 Speaker 1: it all. And so also because of that, I was 242 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:22,040 Speaker 1: really close to my mom. And then my mom got 243 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:24,840 Speaker 1: really sick when we were fourteen. Like I said, we 244 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:29,000 Speaker 1: didn't have healthcare, and so when we finally qualified for 245 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:35,960 Speaker 1: the government Medicare, we discovered that she had already terminal cancer, 246 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:39,440 Speaker 1: and when I was seventeen, we watched her pass away 247 00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:44,160 Speaker 1: in our living room, and my struggle for the really 248 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:46,640 Speaker 1: the turning point in my life was the twelve months 249 00:13:46,679 --> 00:13:50,120 Speaker 1: from the time that she passed away until I was 250 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:53,320 Speaker 1: like like eighteen and a half. I guess like eighteen months, 251 00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:57,800 Speaker 1: but so much in my life changed that I went 252 00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:00,640 Speaker 1: through seasons where I didn't really believe that there was 253 00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:04,600 Speaker 1: good or hope or anything left for me. I had 254 00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:06,800 Speaker 1: grown up wanting to be a professional soccer player, and 255 00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:11,120 Speaker 1: I kind of threw all that down the toilet. My 256 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:13,120 Speaker 1: dad went to jail, my sisters were taken away and 257 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:16,320 Speaker 1: putting foster care. You know, I just I was pretty 258 00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:19,200 Speaker 1: miserable from the inside. But I'd say that most people 259 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:21,680 Speaker 1: didn't know that on the outside because I was still 260 00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:24,440 Speaker 1: trying to hide a lot of what I was going through. 261 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:27,600 Speaker 1: So I think that when I became adult and a 262 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:31,880 Speaker 1: parent myself, I had to work through so many different 263 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:34,560 Speaker 1: traumas that I never had gotten help with. I mean, 264 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:36,400 Speaker 1: my mom died in my living room, but I don't 265 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:39,200 Speaker 1: even remember like hugging anyone after she passed away. I 266 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:42,040 Speaker 1: never went to therapy or counseling. I mean, I like 267 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:44,520 Speaker 1: went back to work. I went back to my two 268 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:47,520 Speaker 1: jobs and playing soccer and really and then it was 269 00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:50,120 Speaker 1: like months. A few weeks later, my dad was diagnosed 270 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:52,920 Speaker 1: with the brain tumor. My grandpa died, my sisters were 271 00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:55,200 Speaker 1: taken out of the home. So I think I grew 272 00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:59,440 Speaker 1: up really fast, and every step of the way was 273 00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:03,440 Speaker 1: me all always trying to find a way to move forward. 274 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:06,800 Speaker 1: It was constantly wondering if things were going to get better, 275 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,120 Speaker 1: and they didn't get better for you know, that year 276 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:11,840 Speaker 1: and a half. So I'll pause there because there's a 277 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:17,160 Speaker 1: lot inside that, and I could probably keep talking totally totally. 278 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:19,080 Speaker 2: I mean, thank you so much for sharing all that, 279 00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:23,400 Speaker 2: talking about the anger that you felt. There's some value 280 00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:28,080 Speaker 2: in that and how you were able to let go 281 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:32,760 Speaker 2: of some of that. We haven't necessarily touched on this yet. 282 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:35,560 Speaker 2: You mentioned feeling as though you were never enough for 283 00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:39,560 Speaker 2: your father. Your father also was emotionally and physically abusive. 284 00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:42,960 Speaker 2: So how do you get to a point where you 285 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:46,240 Speaker 2: let go of some of that anger so that you 286 00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:49,840 Speaker 2: can move forward after your mom's passing. 287 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:54,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I grew up, as ironic as it sounds, 288 00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:55,880 Speaker 1: I did grow up in the church. 289 00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:59,000 Speaker 3: You know I love Jesus with all my heart. 290 00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:01,880 Speaker 1: That's got has really been the thing that has gotten 291 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:03,440 Speaker 1: me through every season in my life. 292 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:04,359 Speaker 3: And my mom. 293 00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:09,960 Speaker 1: Had a very strong faith, like even in our final days, 294 00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:13,720 Speaker 1: that was all that she clung to. And I, as 295 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:18,160 Speaker 1: a very impressionable teenager, that impacted me so greatly. I 296 00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:21,400 Speaker 1: couldn't believe that someone who was in such torture as pain. 297 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:22,840 Speaker 1: She was in a lot of pain at the end 298 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:25,400 Speaker 1: of her life because this cancer spread all over her body, 299 00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:29,400 Speaker 1: but she spoke with so much peace and was so 300 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:33,640 Speaker 1: sure of her faith and was so sure that there 301 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:35,920 Speaker 1: would be hope for She would say that there's a 302 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,680 Speaker 1: verse in the Bible that says, you know, I know 303 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:39,520 Speaker 1: the thoughts I think towards you, thoughts are good and 304 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:41,120 Speaker 1: not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. 305 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:42,760 Speaker 1: And she would say that to me all the time, 306 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:47,200 Speaker 1: and it was very ironic because like when things got 307 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,320 Speaker 1: worse and worse and worse, I just remember thinking that 308 00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:51,120 Speaker 1: I was like, there's no future and a hope for me, 309 00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:53,440 Speaker 1: Like there is no future to hope. 310 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:54,080 Speaker 4: And when my. 311 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:57,080 Speaker 1: Dad had surgery just six weeks or a couple months 312 00:16:57,120 --> 00:17:01,360 Speaker 1: after my mom died, and his brain humor was so 313 00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:05,440 Speaker 1: rare that from one ear to the next, they cut 314 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:08,840 Speaker 1: his head open and they inserted these giant bolts into 315 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:13,120 Speaker 1: his head, but the bolts had to stay exposed, and 316 00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:15,679 Speaker 1: so no one else was there to pick him up 317 00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:18,040 Speaker 1: from the hospital except me, and I just turned eighteen, 318 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:23,119 Speaker 1: and I remember thinking in my mind like as I 319 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:25,440 Speaker 1: drove to the hospital, and I still to this day 320 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:27,600 Speaker 1: have a hard time going to hospitals. I went to 321 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:29,399 Speaker 1: hospitals a lot growing up as a kid. I just 322 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:31,240 Speaker 1: get a lot of anxiety and a lot of stress. 323 00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:33,679 Speaker 1: But I remember pulling into the parking spot and just 324 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:36,360 Speaker 1: punching my steering while I was so angry, and I'm 325 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:40,280 Speaker 1: just screaming at God, saying, you took the wrong one, 326 00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:44,160 Speaker 1: like you took the most loving, encouraging mom who encouraged 327 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:46,199 Speaker 1: me in all my dreams. She was always there for me. 328 00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:49,800 Speaker 1: She spoke kindness and loved me my whole life. And 329 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:52,240 Speaker 1: you know, she couldn't do a great job protecting me 330 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:55,000 Speaker 1: from my dad because he was oppressive towards her too. 331 00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:58,640 Speaker 1: But man, I had a lot of hate for my dad. 332 00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:02,159 Speaker 1: And I remember sitting in the car and praying, I 333 00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:04,440 Speaker 1: have to go and pick him up in the recovery 334 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:06,000 Speaker 1: room right now. I have no idea what he's going 335 00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,720 Speaker 1: to look like. I don't want to take care of him. 336 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:13,119 Speaker 1: But I knew having grown up reading the Bible, I 337 00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:16,679 Speaker 1: knew that anger and bitterness what it does inside of you. 338 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:21,240 Speaker 1: It spills out into every relationship and every part of 339 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:24,840 Speaker 1: your life and who you are, Like, you can't compartmentalize that. 340 00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:28,679 Speaker 1: Like if you're an angry person because somebody hurt you, 341 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:31,280 Speaker 1: you're going to be angry towards those that you even love. 342 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:35,080 Speaker 1: And this is you know, textbook psychology, and you know 343 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:38,399 Speaker 1: whatnot Like people who have been hurt, they're going to 344 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,800 Speaker 1: respond in anger, and they're going to respond by pushing 345 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:45,199 Speaker 1: people away. And at the core of who I was like, 346 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:47,240 Speaker 1: I didn't want to be that person. So I sat 347 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:49,119 Speaker 1: there and I just prayed, and I said, God, I 348 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:52,320 Speaker 1: can't love him without you. You have to help me 349 00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:55,159 Speaker 1: forgive him because I can't do it by myself. And 350 00:18:55,240 --> 00:19:00,439 Speaker 1: I distinctly remember walking into the hospital when I was 351 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:01,960 Speaker 1: directed to go through this room and there was a 352 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,320 Speaker 1: little window, you know, a little peaky window into the 353 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:08,280 Speaker 1: room first, and I get it was like I'm underwater. 354 00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:11,399 Speaker 1: Things that were moving so slowly at this point because 355 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:13,919 Speaker 1: I could not believe what I saw. But it was 356 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:16,320 Speaker 1: the back of my dad in a wheelchair, and he 357 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:19,960 Speaker 1: slumped over to the side, his hands hanging off, and 358 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,760 Speaker 1: the kind of brain treman he had, his acromegaly, so 359 00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:25,600 Speaker 1: his body it's like giganticism, so his whole body like 360 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:29,840 Speaker 1: was huge, and there's blood just pouring out of this 361 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,240 Speaker 1: bandage that supposed to be covering these bolts in his head, 362 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:34,199 Speaker 1: and it's the back of the minute. It was like I, 363 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:38,520 Speaker 1: for a split second, got this picture of great need, 364 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:43,040 Speaker 1: and I realized in that moment, never had my dad 365 00:19:43,119 --> 00:19:45,840 Speaker 1: ever felt like he needed me or wanted me. 366 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:48,360 Speaker 4: Or even wanted me around. 367 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:53,280 Speaker 1: And I realized that as humans, because I grew up 368 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,840 Speaker 1: really fast, so I was I was around adults a lot. 369 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,160 Speaker 1: But I realized, as humans, we all have great need, 370 00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:01,040 Speaker 1: and we all have the ability to hurt people deeply. 371 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:03,480 Speaker 4: We all do whether we mean to or not. 372 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:07,600 Speaker 1: My dad was very intentional in it, and I looked 373 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:09,639 Speaker 1: at him and I thought, he he needs me. 374 00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:11,400 Speaker 4: God helped me to love. 375 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:14,399 Speaker 1: Him, help me to forgive him, because if I don't 376 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:17,760 Speaker 1: release how much I hate him, I'm gonna end up 377 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:21,639 Speaker 1: just like him, this broken man. And that's what I'm thinking, 378 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:24,000 Speaker 1: This man is so broken who used to hurt me 379 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:27,280 Speaker 1: so bad and he used to oppress me, and now 380 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:29,439 Speaker 1: he needs me, and I don't want to be in 381 00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:34,560 Speaker 1: that same position. So yeah, taking him home, and you 382 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,880 Speaker 1: know the I remember the nurse tell me you can't 383 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:37,359 Speaker 1: let his. 384 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:38,520 Speaker 4: Head heel up over the bolts. 385 00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:40,119 Speaker 1: You got to pull the skin away, you know, she 386 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:42,240 Speaker 1: tell me all this stuff and like this is how 387 00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:43,040 Speaker 1: you give shots. 388 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:44,560 Speaker 4: And I'm like, oh my god. 389 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:48,080 Speaker 1: I'm just like terrified of blood and needles. And but 390 00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:51,119 Speaker 1: you know that at one point, it's just realizing like 391 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:54,520 Speaker 1: you either are gonna run away or you're just gonna 392 00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:57,440 Speaker 1: get right in it, no matter how uncomfortable it is, 393 00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:00,080 Speaker 1: you have to face it if you're gonna get through it. 394 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:06,119 Speaker 2: So I'll positive too, just like keeping the cadence of 395 00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:09,200 Speaker 2: this podcast for me. Two things to ask here, First, 396 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:12,920 Speaker 2: a comment. I guess The first thing is that beautiful 397 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:18,359 Speaker 2: lesson that you profoundly knew so early on, which is 398 00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:25,720 Speaker 2: that forgiveness isn't for the other person. Forgiveness happens and 399 00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:29,760 Speaker 2: needs to happen for the person that is feeling so 400 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:33,719 Speaker 2: many of the feelings that you experience, that anger, that frustration, 401 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:39,000 Speaker 2: that deep sadness, knowing that if you don't forgive, if 402 00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:42,920 Speaker 2: you don't allow yourself the space to move forward, then 403 00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:45,359 Speaker 2: you are the only one that is suffering as this 404 00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:48,040 Speaker 2: other person who at some point or another has inflicted 405 00:21:48,119 --> 00:21:51,760 Speaker 2: such sort of a pain upon you, all by intentionally 406 00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:52,920 Speaker 2: or not intentionally, or. 407 00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:53,399 Speaker 3: What have you. 408 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:57,399 Speaker 2: If you don't let go of this, then they're just 409 00:21:57,440 --> 00:21:59,600 Speaker 2: living their life and you're the one that's struggling with 410 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:02,280 Speaker 2: all of these frustration. So what a beautiful lesson that 411 00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:07,320 Speaker 2: you learned so early on the importance of forgiveness. This 412 00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:12,560 Speaker 2: begs the question, did you ever feel as though he 413 00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:20,240 Speaker 2: appreciated your forgiveness or your sacrifice for his condition? 414 00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:23,719 Speaker 1: No, I mean, and I should be very straightforward. I 415 00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:26,359 Speaker 1: don't have a relationship with him at all. You know, 416 00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:29,920 Speaker 1: forgiveness is a journey too, you know. That was the beginning, 417 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:32,440 Speaker 1: and I talked about this in my book How That Is. 418 00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:36,040 Speaker 1: That was the first time that I acknowledged that I 419 00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:39,120 Speaker 1: needed to forgive him because I knew he would never 420 00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:42,600 Speaker 1: be sorry. My dad is never admitted to anything that 421 00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:44,040 Speaker 1: he has done. 422 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:45,600 Speaker 3: He was never in the wrong. 423 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:48,520 Speaker 1: He made it very clear that I always deserved everything 424 00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:51,399 Speaker 1: I got. He made it clear that I was a spoiled, 425 00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:53,600 Speaker 1: rotten brat who's never worked a day in my life, 426 00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:56,160 Speaker 1: that I've never known what it feels like to hurt, 427 00:22:56,240 --> 00:23:00,840 Speaker 1: to suffer, to have challenged my life. He was extremely 428 00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:06,240 Speaker 1: emotionally damaging pretty much my whole life. But because of 429 00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:09,360 Speaker 1: my faith, I had a very strong conviction that, well, 430 00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:12,120 Speaker 1: he's my dad. I need to do everything I can 431 00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:15,920 Speaker 1: to fix this, because I believe that you forgive people 432 00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,920 Speaker 1: until the day that you die, no matter the offense. 433 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:22,000 Speaker 1: And that's extremely difficult, I think for most of us 434 00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:26,040 Speaker 1: to swallow and to comprehend, because we tend to rate things. 435 00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,000 Speaker 1: We tend to say, well, this isn't that bad, and 436 00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:30,840 Speaker 1: this is worse. But the fact that I mean, we 437 00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:32,760 Speaker 1: even see it in the news all the time for 438 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,680 Speaker 1: parents to forgive a rapist or a murder. You see 439 00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:38,840 Speaker 1: it in courtrooms all the time. Like you said, they're 440 00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,119 Speaker 1: doing it so they can keep living, so they can 441 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:44,359 Speaker 1: move on, because you cannot change what has been done, 442 00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:47,600 Speaker 1: but you can heal, and you will heal with scars 443 00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:50,000 Speaker 1: that will remind you from where you came from. But 444 00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:53,399 Speaker 1: those scars are powerful. They're not meant to remind you 445 00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:57,639 Speaker 1: of what a terrible week, you know, no good, nothing are. 446 00:23:57,760 --> 00:23:59,920 Speaker 1: They remind you that you're strong. They remind you that 447 00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:03,560 Speaker 1: you can heal. And I knew that. I wanted that, 448 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,480 Speaker 1: like maybe we could heal these scars. Like we can't undo, 449 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,800 Speaker 1: like I can't undo the way he beat me, and 450 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:12,760 Speaker 1: I can't undo the way he would humiliate me and 451 00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:16,840 Speaker 1: hurt me with his words. But but there's also forward. 452 00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:20,280 Speaker 1: If we wake up each day, there's a new opportunity 453 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:23,240 Speaker 1: and a new chance. And you know, I actually speak 454 00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:25,359 Speaker 1: about this all the time. I always some every now 455 00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,320 Speaker 1: and then I'll say when I posted on Instagram, like 456 00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:30,240 Speaker 1: everyone thinks I'm talking about running, I'm never talking about running. 457 00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:32,160 Speaker 3: It is always about life. 458 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:35,960 Speaker 1: It is one hundred percent I'm talking about life because 459 00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:38,000 Speaker 1: running is just the fun part. That's a gift and 460 00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:40,920 Speaker 1: the opportunity. That's where I find my voice to send 461 00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:43,679 Speaker 1: a message. But it's I'm always referring to life and 462 00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:46,199 Speaker 1: that a lot of times when I talk about forgiveness 463 00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,680 Speaker 1: and failure and moving forward, a lot of it is 464 00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:51,879 Speaker 1: from my interaction with my dad. But when I was 465 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:55,760 Speaker 1: pregnant with my son, my daughter was one years old, 466 00:24:56,400 --> 00:25:00,320 Speaker 1: and I kind of had like this last final tempt 467 00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:02,200 Speaker 1: where I was like trying to make amends with him, 468 00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:04,840 Speaker 1: and we had conversations on the phone for a couple 469 00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:07,600 Speaker 1: of days straight. I had my husband sit in the 470 00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:09,760 Speaker 1: living room with me, and I said, if if I 471 00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:13,800 Speaker 1: am being unfair, if I in any way am being 472 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:17,280 Speaker 1: you know, if I'm just like blasting him and being 473 00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:20,440 Speaker 1: mean and I'm not listening, like call me out as 474 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:22,360 Speaker 1: I talked to him, because I want to do this right. 475 00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:25,359 Speaker 1: Because what had happened over the course of like from 476 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:29,040 Speaker 1: that time until now I'm married with kids, was anytime 477 00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:32,240 Speaker 1: I was around him, I would get like extreme anxiety 478 00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:34,800 Speaker 1: and stress, and I would come home whenever I'd see 479 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:36,000 Speaker 1: him and I wouldn't be able to eat for a 480 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,720 Speaker 1: couple of days. Like it was literally like starting to 481 00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:41,240 Speaker 1: corrode my family. It was starting to corrode my relationship 482 00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:44,240 Speaker 1: with my husband and my kids. Like I was really suffering. 483 00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:48,000 Speaker 1: And I knew. I knew personally because I just had 484 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:49,880 Speaker 1: done some of it's research and after going to college 485 00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:51,600 Speaker 1: I was a communication studies major. 486 00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:52,240 Speaker 4: I knew that. 487 00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:55,280 Speaker 1: If there is a extremely toxic person in your life, 488 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:58,480 Speaker 1: that is literally changing the soul of who you are. 489 00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:02,280 Speaker 1: You know, you are a fearful and you're afraid and 490 00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:06,320 Speaker 1: you can't even function normally, that that person should probably 491 00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:08,400 Speaker 1: not be a part of your life. But I had 492 00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:10,159 Speaker 1: a hard time with that because I was like, no, 493 00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:13,080 Speaker 1: I have to endure like I'm enduring, like I persevere 494 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,520 Speaker 1: with people. I forgive like I'm going to keep going. 495 00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:20,119 Speaker 1: But at this point I realized you can forgive and 496 00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:24,159 Speaker 1: still love somebody and let go all at once, and 497 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:26,560 Speaker 1: there is power in that, and sometimes that is what 498 00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:28,679 Speaker 1: needs to happen. And I know there's many people listening, 499 00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:31,040 Speaker 1: because anytime I speak on this, I get hundreds of 500 00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,680 Speaker 1: messages from people like I am having a hard time forgiving. 501 00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:36,960 Speaker 1: And there's two ways that go. There is where there's 502 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:41,000 Speaker 1: reconciliation on both sides and you're both working to heal 503 00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:44,440 Speaker 1: and move forward. But then there is still like there's 504 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:46,359 Speaker 1: one that wants to heal and the other one that 505 00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:50,320 Speaker 1: is refusing to see you, is re using to acknowledge 506 00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:53,240 Speaker 1: your pain and you're hurt and to move forward with 507 00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:56,000 Speaker 1: you and to see you as your own individual. And 508 00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:59,080 Speaker 1: you know, and if it is causing you that deep 509 00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:02,800 Speaker 1: you know, stress and anxiety and hurt all the time, 510 00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:07,439 Speaker 1: you can still love that person and forgive them from afar. 511 00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:09,879 Speaker 3: And that is what happened. 512 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:12,320 Speaker 1: In those two days of conversations. What I realized was 513 00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:15,399 Speaker 1: that my dad just he did not see me. He 514 00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:17,760 Speaker 1: didn't and he literally said on the phone. And this 515 00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:21,320 Speaker 1: is after I at this point had had fifteen jobs 516 00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:23,840 Speaker 1: in my life, I'm pregnant with my second child. And 517 00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:26,679 Speaker 1: he says to me, you don't know what it's like 518 00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:28,600 Speaker 1: to have pain in your life. You don't know what 519 00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:31,040 Speaker 1: it is to work a hard day, not one single 520 00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:33,239 Speaker 1: day you don't need. He's like, one day, when you're 521 00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:37,400 Speaker 1: a parent, you'll understand, like, you don't see me. And 522 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:41,000 Speaker 1: I think for all humans, that is what we want. 523 00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:43,360 Speaker 1: We want to be seen. We want to be known. 524 00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:45,000 Speaker 1: We want to know that we matter. We want to 525 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,960 Speaker 1: know that our pain like that it's valid, no matter 526 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,520 Speaker 1: how big or small. It is like if you are 527 00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:53,280 Speaker 1: hurt like that, that there's something there in there that 528 00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:56,320 Speaker 1: needs to be unpacked. So, sadly, I do not have 529 00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:59,040 Speaker 1: relationship with my dad. You know, my mom's been gone, 530 00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:00,480 Speaker 1: but my husband's family is great. 531 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:03,240 Speaker 2: So what you're explaining here is something that is a 532 00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:06,439 Speaker 2: lesson that takes so long to really execute on, and 533 00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:09,240 Speaker 2: that is the lesson of having boundaries. So I think 534 00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:12,040 Speaker 2: that's someone listening to this who really hears you and 535 00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:15,040 Speaker 2: probably can think right now exactly of who that person 536 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:18,359 Speaker 2: is in their life that maybe reminds them of the 537 00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:21,040 Speaker 2: difficulties that you had in your relationship with your father. 538 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:26,320 Speaker 2: For that person, what advice do you have for them 539 00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:28,000 Speaker 2: about letting go? 540 00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:29,000 Speaker 1: Mm hmm. 541 00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:31,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's really hard. 542 00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:34,359 Speaker 1: There's a few things I want to say, and my 543 00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:36,480 Speaker 1: heart is just like beaten so hard because I do 544 00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:41,240 Speaker 1: empathize so deeply with people in this area, because there 545 00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:44,280 Speaker 1: is this struggle and even the shame that other people 546 00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:47,520 Speaker 1: will put on you spe like unfortunately, like especially my 547 00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,080 Speaker 1: friends that have come from like amazing homes, they do 548 00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:53,640 Speaker 1: not get it on any level. Like they're like best 549 00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:56,239 Speaker 1: friends with dad, like mom, and I'm like, dude, I 550 00:28:56,400 --> 00:29:00,360 Speaker 1: never knew that, Like even when my daughter was born, 551 00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:02,520 Speaker 1: Like I remember the first couple of years, like just 552 00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:05,120 Speaker 1: watching Eddie interact with Mackenzie, Like I would just go 553 00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:07,200 Speaker 1: in my room and I cry, I like sob because 554 00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:09,680 Speaker 1: like just the way he looked at her was so 555 00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:12,479 Speaker 1: foreign to me, And I was like oh, Like that's 556 00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:15,680 Speaker 1: that's how daddy's and daughters like interact when they love 557 00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:18,720 Speaker 1: each other. Like that's amazing, Like I never knew that, 558 00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:21,520 Speaker 1: and even now, like she's going to be sixteen next week, 559 00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:25,800 Speaker 1: she's I mean, she truly is the light of his 560 00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:28,840 Speaker 1: life and and she adores him and still it sits 561 00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:30,680 Speaker 1: on his lap and just all those things, and I'm 562 00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:33,080 Speaker 1: like I didn't have that. So I just first want 563 00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:38,360 Speaker 1: to say that, yes, it does take time to create 564 00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:42,040 Speaker 1: boundaries and let go of something that you wanted so 565 00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:44,959 Speaker 1: long to fix, that you wanted so long to be different. 566 00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:47,720 Speaker 1: And I think that was the most difficult thing for me. 567 00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:49,320 Speaker 1: It was like I just want him to love me, 568 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:52,000 Speaker 1: like he's my dad, Like why doesn't he love me? 569 00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:55,440 Speaker 1: Like what am I doing wrong? Like I don't know 570 00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:57,719 Speaker 1: what else I can do in my power. And then 571 00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:01,520 Speaker 1: it's understanding like it's not your job to control people. 572 00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:04,560 Speaker 1: It is not your job to make their choices, and 573 00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:08,520 Speaker 1: you have to be okay that the greatest love is love, 574 00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:12,320 Speaker 1: that it's free love that is free. It chooses to 575 00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:16,080 Speaker 1: love you unconditionally no matter what. It chooses to be 576 00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:20,479 Speaker 1: kind and enduring and persevering no matter what season, you're in. 577 00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:22,480 Speaker 1: That's the greatest kind of love, and that's what you 578 00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:25,320 Speaker 1: want in your life because that is ultimately what gets 579 00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:28,600 Speaker 1: you to the best version of yourself. And forgiveness is power. 580 00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:33,040 Speaker 1: Forgiveness is freedom, and you have the freedom to let 581 00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:37,080 Speaker 1: go and to forgive and continue on. And there is 582 00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:39,760 Speaker 1: nothing greater that you can do in your life to 583 00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:42,760 Speaker 1: then continue and surround yourself with people that are loving. 584 00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:47,160 Speaker 1: But it is okay to continue in life with an ache. 585 00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:52,960 Speaker 1: And I've spoken about this before that sometimes we believe 586 00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:56,600 Speaker 1: that the healing and the moving forward means that we 587 00:30:56,640 --> 00:31:00,200 Speaker 1: don't feel it anymore. No, I still have moments where 588 00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:03,040 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh man, it just sucks, like having never 589 00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:06,600 Speaker 1: had that dad, or especially writing my book, I've had 590 00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:09,840 Speaker 1: some really horrible weeks. I've had to apologize to my family. 591 00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:12,040 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm sorry, I've been so grumpy. I had 592 00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:14,680 Speaker 1: to write like some really horrible stories, you know, in 593 00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:18,400 Speaker 1: this book. And when you remember things, or or you 594 00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:21,000 Speaker 1: smell something, or you see a street corner that reminds 595 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:23,360 Speaker 1: you of something, and there's just ache that comes with that. 596 00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:27,479 Speaker 1: It's okay. You're human, and humans, you're you're gonna feel, 597 00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:30,719 Speaker 1: you know, and and if anything that makes you know 598 00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:32,760 Speaker 1: that you're still alive and that you care, you have 599 00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:36,200 Speaker 1: the capacity to care. But take what all that caring 600 00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:39,240 Speaker 1: and those feelings and transfer it on to what is 601 00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:42,760 Speaker 1: good in your life because you can. You can't change 602 00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:47,240 Speaker 1: what happened, but you can change your story moving forward, 603 00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:49,440 Speaker 1: and you can make it great. And you can use 604 00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:52,200 Speaker 1: that pain or whatever that person did you that hurt 605 00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:55,200 Speaker 1: you so badly, and you can help other people. I 606 00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:59,240 Speaker 1: mean genuinely be there on a level that most people 607 00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:00,320 Speaker 1: don't understand. 608 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:08,760 Speaker 2: Taking a break from today's episode to give some love 609 00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:12,160 Speaker 2: to my friends at Gooder. Can I tell you we 610 00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:14,720 Speaker 2: hosted the Hurdler Huddle out in Los Angeles at the 611 00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:20,520 Speaker 2: Gooder Cabana Space on Abbot Kinney and it was a vibe. 612 00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:26,000 Speaker 2: I cannot get enough of my Gooder sunglasses. They are affordable, 613 00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:31,600 Speaker 2: they're stylish, and they're good for all performance, no bounce polarize, 614 00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:36,280 Speaker 2: perfect for running both around Goodness a track and maybe 615 00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:40,040 Speaker 2: sprinting to catch the subway, running to brunch. 616 00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:44,160 Speaker 3: You get the gist. Plus, they have so. 617 00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:47,280 Speaker 2: Many different styles, I mean I can't even count them. 618 00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:50,080 Speaker 2: There's a zillion of them on their website for every 619 00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:54,040 Speaker 2: single taste. They've got bright colors, they've got more classic looks. 620 00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:56,640 Speaker 3: I myself am a huge. 621 00:32:56,400 --> 00:33:00,479 Speaker 2: Fan of two of their newer styles, the pH g's 622 00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:02,440 Speaker 2: and the vrgs. 623 00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:04,600 Speaker 3: I love these these nicknames here. 624 00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:11,280 Speaker 2: The phgs specifically really looks super sleek. I get compliments 625 00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:13,680 Speaker 2: on these glasses, which I just wear like wanting to 626 00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:17,600 Speaker 2: get coffee in the morning, all the time, endlessly from 627 00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:20,520 Speaker 2: people waiting in line with me. They have them in 628 00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:24,160 Speaker 2: so many different colors, again, something for every different taste, 629 00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:26,640 Speaker 2: and I think it's about time that you get in 630 00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:29,960 Speaker 2: on the Gooder train if you haven't done so just yet. 631 00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:32,840 Speaker 2: Of course, they are already super affordable starting at just 632 00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:35,880 Speaker 2: twenty five dollars, but because you are a hurdler, I 633 00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:38,520 Speaker 2: have an additional discount for you. Head on over to 634 00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:42,000 Speaker 2: Gooder dot com. That's g oo d r dot com 635 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:46,120 Speaker 2: slash hurdle and get fifteen percent off using hurdle one 636 00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:47,719 Speaker 2: five at checkout. 637 00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:49,920 Speaker 3: Again, that is Gooder dot com slash hurdle. 638 00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:53,600 Speaker 2: Use hurdle one five at checkout to get fifteen percent 639 00:33:53,680 --> 00:34:03,320 Speaker 2: off your Gooder sunglasses today, And you can step out 640 00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:07,160 Speaker 2: of that moment, right. It's like when we're so present 641 00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:10,520 Speaker 2: in the pain, and we're so thick in the hurt, 642 00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:14,920 Speaker 2: it's hard to imagine what life could feel like without 643 00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:18,400 Speaker 2: that hurt because it's almost become familiar. And it's also 644 00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:21,560 Speaker 2: hard to acknowledge that there can be so much joy 645 00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:25,279 Speaker 2: on the other side of getting uncomfortable and setting the 646 00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:28,760 Speaker 2: boundary and getting out of your own way. But getting 647 00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:31,600 Speaker 2: to that place where you're like, I need to take 648 00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:35,839 Speaker 2: this step for myself. It can feel selfish, It can 649 00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:40,640 Speaker 2: certainly feel daunting. It's so intimidating again because of the unknown, right, 650 00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:44,279 Speaker 2: but when you recognize that there can be joy in 651 00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:46,880 Speaker 2: the unknown, like there can be so much happiness that 652 00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:49,719 Speaker 2: you're not dealing with in this moment because you're so 653 00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:54,359 Speaker 2: stuck right that happiness is that's that's what's up. 654 00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:56,880 Speaker 1: And I think that you bring up, you know, a 655 00:34:56,920 --> 00:35:01,960 Speaker 1: good point, just even the unknown and realizing that so 656 00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:05,279 Speaker 1: much of everything that we do in life it comes 657 00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:10,600 Speaker 1: down to our mental game. We can parallel that with sports, 658 00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:13,560 Speaker 1: but it's how you approach it. And if you know 659 00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:17,239 Speaker 1: who you are and you believe that your life is 660 00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:19,880 Speaker 1: valuable despite even if the whole world says it's not, 661 00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,439 Speaker 1: you have to believe that it is. If you're here, 662 00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:26,640 Speaker 1: there's a purpose for it, and so I think moving 663 00:35:26,719 --> 00:35:30,200 Speaker 1: forward when you hit those storms, it's just courage. And 664 00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:34,759 Speaker 1: courage isn't being the most badass, toughest person on the 665 00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:38,040 Speaker 1: start line. Isn't being someone that, Okay, I can endure 666 00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:40,240 Speaker 1: pain because I don't feel it. No, it isn't about 667 00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:43,200 Speaker 1: being so numb that you don't feel anything. It's being 668 00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:47,640 Speaker 1: courageous enough to feel all of it and know that 669 00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:50,600 Speaker 1: what you're walking into is still going to be uncomfortable, 670 00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:53,200 Speaker 1: it's still going to hurt, but yet you're choosing to 671 00:35:53,239 --> 00:35:56,319 Speaker 1: go because you understand that getting on to the other 672 00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:59,400 Speaker 1: side is so important and it is going to be better. 673 00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:03,880 Speaker 1: And that isn't always the that's the hardest route, you know, 674 00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:06,120 Speaker 1: And this is floating around in social media all the 675 00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:07,759 Speaker 1: time where it's like you just need to toughen up 676 00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:10,279 Speaker 1: and you know you need to just push through it 677 00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:13,560 Speaker 1: and don't think about it, and you know, push away 678 00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:16,839 Speaker 1: anyone that's going to hamper you or put you down. 679 00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:19,840 Speaker 1: But it's like, no, sometimes getting through stuff is literally 680 00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:23,799 Speaker 1: being shoulder to shoulder around people and things that are uncomfortable, 681 00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:26,960 Speaker 1: but staying true to who you are and still moving forward. 682 00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:32,600 Speaker 3: Courageously. It's the opportunity to become calloused. 683 00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:40,680 Speaker 2: Knowing that even the thickest, most well developed callouses still 684 00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:43,960 Speaker 2: rip when put under an up stress like you have 685 00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:48,640 Speaker 2: the opportunity to build that up. But also you need 686 00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:51,520 Speaker 2: to have the self awareness to remember that you're still human. 687 00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:55,279 Speaker 2: So it's not like once you go through something, then 688 00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:57,760 Speaker 2: if you go through something that's similar to that, again, 689 00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:01,600 Speaker 2: it won't hurt. But what that does mean is that 690 00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:03,520 Speaker 2: now you have some of the know how and the 691 00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:07,080 Speaker 2: tools to understand how to get over that next hurdle 692 00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:10,920 Speaker 2: moment as it comes. You know, there's so much relatability 693 00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:13,120 Speaker 2: in your story and your struggle, and again, I'm so 694 00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:18,160 Speaker 2: grateful for you for sharing that. Another huge relatable point 695 00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:21,160 Speaker 2: when it comes to you, Sally, is that you started 696 00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:24,440 Speaker 2: to thrive in your athletic pursuits when your kids, you know, 697 00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:27,839 Speaker 2: we're four or five, six seven, and so for you 698 00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:31,040 Speaker 2: talk to us a little bit about what that's been 699 00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:34,319 Speaker 2: like for you finding sport and finding your stride in 700 00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:37,120 Speaker 2: sport in your thirties. 701 00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:39,160 Speaker 4: That was challenging. 702 00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:44,320 Speaker 1: You know, I'm not gonna lie, and I'll say this specifically. 703 00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:46,480 Speaker 3: To moms and young moms. You're not. 704 00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:50,120 Speaker 1: You're not going to be the popular mom when you 705 00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:52,120 Speaker 1: are not joining the mommy circles. 706 00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:54,360 Speaker 3: And I didn't. 707 00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:58,640 Speaker 1: I think I had to make a choice when my 708 00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:02,200 Speaker 1: kids were young. I was going to pursue a dream 709 00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:03,799 Speaker 1: that I'd had since I was a little girl, to 710 00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:08,080 Speaker 1: become a professional athlete, and I was going I also 711 00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:10,359 Speaker 1: wanted to be a good mom. I was so close 712 00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:13,840 Speaker 1: to my mom. I loved being a mom, So I 713 00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:17,560 Speaker 1: literally flipped my whole life upside down and created a 714 00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:20,080 Speaker 1: life that allowed me to be there for my kids 715 00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:23,640 Speaker 1: while pursuing a dream. So that was really difficult, I'd 716 00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:25,440 Speaker 1: say it was. I had a lot of It was 717 00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:29,359 Speaker 1: lonely at times too, And you know, and back then, 718 00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:32,160 Speaker 1: I feel like even just ten years ago, women weren't 719 00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:36,759 Speaker 1: so supported in sport. So I think when people even 720 00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:39,600 Speaker 1: understood what I was doing, they're like, you're weird, or 721 00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:42,680 Speaker 1: that's crazy, or like no, seriously, like that psycho, and 722 00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:45,400 Speaker 1: you know, and women were very blunt saying, how can 723 00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:47,160 Speaker 1: you be a good mom and then still take care 724 00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:50,160 Speaker 1: of your kids and your house and pursue these things. 725 00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:52,759 Speaker 1: I just don't. I don't see your kids are being neglected, 726 00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:57,480 Speaker 1: And so I had to deal with both outside criticism 727 00:38:57,560 --> 00:39:01,600 Speaker 1: from actually people that were my friends, not just strangers, 728 00:39:01,719 --> 00:39:04,000 Speaker 1: and people on social media. It was like people that 729 00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:06,839 Speaker 1: I thought that you know, that I got along with 730 00:39:07,239 --> 00:39:10,040 Speaker 1: and still move forward in what I knew to be 731 00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:13,399 Speaker 1: true of my journey. I really believe that all of us, 732 00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:16,400 Speaker 1: every single person that is put on this planet, is 733 00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:20,560 Speaker 1: given a gift and a light, and it isn't necessarily 734 00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:23,680 Speaker 1: supposed to be used just to parade ourselves. It's not 735 00:39:23,719 --> 00:39:27,360 Speaker 1: about our glory. It's supposed to be used to impact 736 00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:30,000 Speaker 1: the world around us and to reach people and to 737 00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:32,960 Speaker 1: courage and love, like we're given things to love on people. 738 00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:35,279 Speaker 1: I think that's a great way to view life. If 739 00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:37,320 Speaker 1: you don't feel like you have purpose in your life, 740 00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:39,960 Speaker 1: then just go and start loving people and your life 741 00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:44,200 Speaker 1: will be greatly fulfilled. So I knew that as an athlete, 742 00:39:44,719 --> 00:39:48,040 Speaker 1: that was where my voice was loudest in both in 743 00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:51,480 Speaker 1: writing and sport, and I had never deterred from those 744 00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:55,000 Speaker 1: two things from the time I was in kindergarten, and 745 00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:56,640 Speaker 1: I always told my mom that I would write a 746 00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:58,960 Speaker 1: book one day and that I would be a professional athlete. 747 00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:02,680 Speaker 1: And so when she died, it was like this hiatus 748 00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:08,520 Speaker 1: you know, it's many years of not doing either, but 749 00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:13,040 Speaker 1: I'd never ever stopped training. So I loved getting in 750 00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:17,719 Speaker 1: the gym, I loved going out on runs, and I 751 00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:21,760 Speaker 1: just eventually found a way to do that with babies. 752 00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:24,640 Speaker 1: And so I would look at training plans that I 753 00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:27,440 Speaker 1: would download off the internet, and I thought, Okay, this 754 00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:29,480 Speaker 1: says I have to do an eight mile track workout 755 00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:31,880 Speaker 1: on Tuesday, and then on Wednesday, I need to do 756 00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:34,280 Speaker 1: like a seventy five minute run. And then when you know, 757 00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:36,839 Speaker 1: you download these generic things and you try to follow them, 758 00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:39,440 Speaker 1: and I'm like, like I cannot do this, Like this 759 00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:40,400 Speaker 1: is not going to work. 760 00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:43,600 Speaker 3: So I just started writing my own plans. 761 00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:45,759 Speaker 1: And what I realized was like, Okay, I can run 762 00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:47,520 Speaker 1: for thirty minutes in the morning with the kids in 763 00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:49,560 Speaker 1: the jogging store, because that's about how long they can 764 00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:52,319 Speaker 1: last in there. And then I have like forty five 765 00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:54,080 Speaker 1: minutes when they're both down for a nap, I can 766 00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:56,920 Speaker 1: get on the treadmill. And then in the evening, right 767 00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:59,400 Speaker 1: before dinner at it comes home from work and I 768 00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:01,520 Speaker 1: get like an, okay, I can probably get something in. 769 00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:02,080 Speaker 3: At that time. 770 00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:05,759 Speaker 1: So every day I was piecing together when I could 771 00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:09,319 Speaker 1: get a workout in and sometimes it would take me 772 00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:12,279 Speaker 1: three workouts to do eight miles, but I did it, 773 00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:15,000 Speaker 1: and I just believed that regardless of what it looks like, 774 00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:17,040 Speaker 1: if you show up every single day and you put 775 00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:19,440 Speaker 1: the work in, it's it's going to make a difference. 776 00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:21,360 Speaker 1: And so I did that for a few years, and 777 00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:25,440 Speaker 1: then I ran my first Ultra in twenty ten. My 778 00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:28,880 Speaker 1: kids were two and four when I did that, and 779 00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:34,040 Speaker 1: then it was a few more years of racing, and 780 00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:37,840 Speaker 1: then in twenty fourteen is when I was signed by Nike. 781 00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:40,600 Speaker 2: Casual, Like I'm just going to start in twenty ten, 782 00:41:40,719 --> 00:41:42,960 Speaker 2: and then like by twenty fourteen, I'm just pro. 783 00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:47,239 Speaker 1: I do remember when it first happened, a lot of 784 00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:49,600 Speaker 1: moms had messaged me. They're like, oh my gosh, it's amazing, 785 00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:51,320 Speaker 1: Like I run with my son in the jogging stroller 786 00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:53,520 Speaker 1: all the time, like you know, you've inspired me to 787 00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:55,600 Speaker 1: do this, And I remember thinking my mind, it's like 788 00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:58,640 Speaker 1: I literally started training when I was sixteen, Like I 789 00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:02,759 Speaker 1: never did from that, Like I I started doing two 790 00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:05,719 Speaker 1: a days at sixteen, and I never stopped, like even 791 00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:07,680 Speaker 1: when I had kids and I didn't have this goal 792 00:42:07,719 --> 00:42:10,560 Speaker 1: of Ultra marathoning I knew I was supposed to be 793 00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:13,319 Speaker 1: an athlete, and I didn't really know how to do 794 00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:17,040 Speaker 1: life any other way, and so I was always very fit. 795 00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:19,280 Speaker 1: So it wasn't like I did this couch to ultra 796 00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:23,040 Speaker 1: couch to pro over the course of three years. I 797 00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:26,239 Speaker 1: mean at this time, it took me sixteen years to 798 00:42:26,320 --> 00:42:29,480 Speaker 1: realize that dream. So it was sixteen years in the making. 799 00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:32,680 Speaker 1: And so I never want to downplay the work, like 800 00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:34,719 Speaker 1: you have to put that work in. And I even 801 00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:39,319 Speaker 1: think sometimes when even now when we see young you know, 802 00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:41,719 Speaker 1: kids that are up and coming and they you know, 803 00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:44,000 Speaker 1: they they turned pro or whatever, you have to remember 804 00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:47,920 Speaker 1: there there was a massive support team and a lot 805 00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:50,759 Speaker 1: of years of building up that you know, that college kid. 806 00:42:50,760 --> 00:42:53,120 Speaker 1: It wasn't just they had a couple of good years 807 00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:55,799 Speaker 1: in college and that's it. It's and it could even 808 00:42:55,800 --> 00:42:57,759 Speaker 1: be that they were cross training in different sports. But 809 00:42:57,840 --> 00:42:59,880 Speaker 1: when you set your mind on a goal, you have 810 00:42:59,920 --> 00:43:02,799 Speaker 1: to be prepared to put in the work for many years. 811 00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:04,680 Speaker 1: And I was raised to work very hard. 812 00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:10,840 Speaker 2: So beyond the criticism that you said that you experienced 813 00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:16,759 Speaker 2: from the mom community, you also have received some criticism 814 00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:20,640 Speaker 2: over the years when it comes to individuals feeling as 815 00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:25,239 Speaker 2: though they get to comment on your body. I know 816 00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:28,840 Speaker 2: you recorded a few episodes about this and talking about 817 00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:32,239 Speaker 2: body on Too Strong, but I'd love to talk a 818 00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:35,960 Speaker 2: little bit about that with you. I loved a post 819 00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:39,160 Speaker 2: that you put up on Instagram. It said body want 820 00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:42,160 Speaker 2: to run a race, then do it. Leave your appearance 821 00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:44,920 Speaker 2: out of it. Want to learn ballet, then do it. 822 00:43:45,239 --> 00:43:48,080 Speaker 2: Stop wondering if you look like a dancer. Want to swim, 823 00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:51,040 Speaker 2: then do it. There's no right or wrong way to 824 00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:53,680 Speaker 2: look in your bathing suit. Let's talk about what you 825 00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:58,239 Speaker 2: do with your body instead of how it looks. Give 826 00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:03,080 Speaker 2: me some insight about your journey to body acceptance. 827 00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:06,400 Speaker 1: Well, I starting at a really young age. I was 828 00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:08,440 Speaker 1: really aware of my body. Like by the time I 829 00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:12,319 Speaker 1: was probably five or six, my siblings would tease me, 830 00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:15,600 Speaker 1: which siblings do. And you get teased on the schoolyard, 831 00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:17,799 Speaker 1: you know, for whatever it is you're wearing, your hair 832 00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:21,279 Speaker 1: or whatever it's And this is an important note because 833 00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:24,840 Speaker 1: we must understand that that is just a part of 834 00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:27,960 Speaker 1: human interaction. Like we have eyes for a reason. We 835 00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:32,280 Speaker 1: notice a beautiful sunset, beautiful flower, the dress in the window. 836 00:44:32,520 --> 00:44:35,319 Speaker 1: Like we're constantly saying that things are cute or ugly 837 00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:37,920 Speaker 1: or you know, pleasing to the eye or glorious or whatever. 838 00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:41,680 Speaker 1: That's it's a conversation starter. What pulls us in, it's 839 00:44:41,719 --> 00:44:44,759 Speaker 1: what repels us. So when I was little, you know, 840 00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:47,240 Speaker 1: my siblings made fun of me that I was fat. 841 00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:49,400 Speaker 1: So I had this. I definitely had like a little belly. 842 00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:52,919 Speaker 1: I was like, I was very short when as a kid, 843 00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:56,440 Speaker 1: like I was really small, and I was just like 844 00:44:56,600 --> 00:45:00,359 Speaker 1: chunky and to full on like baby fat. So I 845 00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:03,080 Speaker 1: was really concerned about that because they would draw pictures 846 00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:05,000 Speaker 1: of me with you know, as a fat kid, and 847 00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:07,000 Speaker 1: they'd put them on my bed and I would cry, 848 00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:09,799 Speaker 1: and so I started doing like push ups and sit 849 00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:12,120 Speaker 1: ups in my room. I don't think that lasted very long, 850 00:45:12,160 --> 00:45:14,560 Speaker 1: but that's probably like the first time that I was like, oh, 851 00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:17,840 Speaker 1: like I'm you know, I'm fat. But then by the 852 00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:22,279 Speaker 1: time I was i'd say like nine or ten, like 853 00:45:22,480 --> 00:45:25,319 Speaker 1: I was just then really petite, like I lost all 854 00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:28,160 Speaker 1: my baby fat, was really lean, and then up until 855 00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:31,680 Speaker 1: I was sixteen, I was always really small like I was. 856 00:45:32,080 --> 00:45:35,880 Speaker 1: I was actually criticized in soccer for being too small, 857 00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:37,360 Speaker 1: and girls would come up to me and say, you 858 00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:39,640 Speaker 1: could never be a professional soccer player. You're too small, 859 00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:42,200 Speaker 1: you're not strong enough, you can't push girls off the ball. 860 00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:45,799 Speaker 1: So I love to speak on both sides because I 861 00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:49,480 Speaker 1: think that it's important that people understand it isn't about 862 00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:52,479 Speaker 1: that being really thin or even being really strong, because 863 00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:54,360 Speaker 1: I know that's kind of a trend now too, is 864 00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:57,480 Speaker 1: like the muscles and the weightlifting and stuff like there's 865 00:45:57,520 --> 00:45:59,600 Speaker 1: some we all build muscle in different ways, like our 866 00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:02,120 Speaker 1: body types are all different. And for me, I thought 867 00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:04,040 Speaker 1: I was gonna be petite for the rest of my life. 868 00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:07,239 Speaker 1: And then at sixteen is when I actually grew, and 869 00:46:07,239 --> 00:46:10,520 Speaker 1: then I became and now I do build muscle a 870 00:46:10,560 --> 00:46:14,120 Speaker 1: little bit easier, like always had even in high school. 871 00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:19,080 Speaker 1: So so then things change. And then as I got bigger, 872 00:46:19,120 --> 00:46:23,200 Speaker 1: even in college, people made note of that and talked 873 00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:26,920 Speaker 1: a lot about my lower body. I'd say, since the 874 00:46:26,960 --> 00:46:29,040 Speaker 1: time I was in middle school, people have always made 875 00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:32,120 Speaker 1: comments about my button, my legs. I didn't it wasn't 876 00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:35,000 Speaker 1: always a negative thing to me, Like I think that 877 00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:39,239 Speaker 1: the way that I understood it was just like, oh, 878 00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:41,400 Speaker 1: I guess it's a good thing, because like the guys 879 00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:43,239 Speaker 1: are saying, it's like a good thing. You know, like 880 00:46:43,280 --> 00:46:45,560 Speaker 1: you don't know how to. Like as a twelve thirteen 881 00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:47,520 Speaker 1: year old, you're like, oh, like I'm getting attention from 882 00:46:47,560 --> 00:46:49,600 Speaker 1: guys like I guess my legs are great, you know. 883 00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:52,800 Speaker 1: But then in high school you're like, oh, my gosh, 884 00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:55,680 Speaker 1: like this is it looks like the trend is to 885 00:46:55,719 --> 00:46:58,400 Speaker 1: be really thin and to be in like these like 886 00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:02,280 Speaker 1: these nice tight genes that I can't fit into unless 887 00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:03,280 Speaker 1: they're super stretchy. 888 00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:05,000 Speaker 3: So I think. 889 00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:08,120 Speaker 1: Growing up, I always went back and forth, But the 890 00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:11,520 Speaker 1: thing that remained true was that it didn't matter if 891 00:47:11,560 --> 00:47:13,720 Speaker 1: I was at work, at school, on the soccer field, 892 00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:17,719 Speaker 1: it was about ninety percent of the time someone's going 893 00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:20,200 Speaker 1: to come up to me and say something about my body. 894 00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:21,640 Speaker 3: So I'll tell you what. 895 00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:26,000 Speaker 1: When Nike reached out to me to sign me, I 896 00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:29,439 Speaker 1: was extremely insecure about it and I didn't believe that 897 00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:31,480 Speaker 1: it was actually them. So I sent the email to 898 00:47:31,520 --> 00:47:35,279 Speaker 1: my buddies, my training buddies, Billy, Dave and Colin, and 899 00:47:35,360 --> 00:47:37,360 Speaker 1: I asked them. I was like, dude, do you guys 900 00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:39,719 Speaker 1: think this is like a legit email? They're like yeah, 901 00:47:39,719 --> 00:47:44,279 Speaker 1: I respond, and my immediate thought was like, man, I 902 00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:46,320 Speaker 1: just don't think I want to be with a company 903 00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:50,319 Speaker 1: that is so big, like there's big, they're flashy, like 904 00:47:50,480 --> 00:47:54,560 Speaker 1: everyone knows them, and I'm just picturing the ridicule that 905 00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:56,480 Speaker 1: I'm going to get when I'm signed, because one, I 906 00:47:56,520 --> 00:48:00,640 Speaker 1: do not look like a typical endurance pro athlete, like 907 00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:03,680 Speaker 1: at all. I look like I should be, you know, 908 00:48:03,920 --> 00:48:06,120 Speaker 1: like a crossfitter or something like that. So I was 909 00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:09,840 Speaker 1: really insecure and I kind of hesitated, and a buddy 910 00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:12,280 Speaker 1: was just like, you know what, Sally, Like, you need 911 00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:16,360 Speaker 1: to understand that clearly your body doesn't have anything to 912 00:48:16,440 --> 00:48:19,879 Speaker 1: do with you being signed. They're reaching out to sign 913 00:48:19,960 --> 00:48:22,359 Speaker 1: you because of your performance, so maybe you should take 914 00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:24,319 Speaker 1: a hold of that. So it was, you know, a 915 00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:26,719 Speaker 1: couple of days of working through that, but I'll tell 916 00:48:26,719 --> 00:48:29,080 Speaker 1: you what, like within the first month, we did a 917 00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:32,200 Speaker 1: photo shoot and they posted those pictures on the Nike 918 00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:35,879 Speaker 1: Running account and I cried. You know, it was I'm 919 00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:39,200 Speaker 1: still human, like I consider myself like I am pretty 920 00:48:39,239 --> 00:48:42,239 Speaker 1: thick skin for the most part. I do believe that 921 00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:47,000 Speaker 1: you have the power to receive or bad away the 922 00:48:47,040 --> 00:48:50,000 Speaker 1: comments that people say. And for me, it was just 923 00:48:50,080 --> 00:48:53,000 Speaker 1: so much you know, she's so big, that's not a runner, 924 00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:56,120 Speaker 1: and just she's fat. And tons of comments coming in. 925 00:48:56,239 --> 00:48:59,640 Speaker 1: So I did struggle my first two years with Nike, 926 00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:02,879 Speaker 1: being with a brand that was so big and realizing 927 00:49:03,320 --> 00:49:06,160 Speaker 1: that I do not look like any other runner that 928 00:49:06,200 --> 00:49:10,600 Speaker 1: they had ever signed in the history of women's runnings. 929 00:49:10,640 --> 00:49:13,359 Speaker 1: But then I realized too. I was like, no, like, 930 00:49:13,480 --> 00:49:15,759 Speaker 1: I need to own this. And I had gone to 931 00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:20,759 Speaker 1: great measure to meet with nutritionists and I had gone 932 00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:23,399 Speaker 1: to two different clinics to get body fat tested because 933 00:49:23,440 --> 00:49:25,280 Speaker 1: I was you know, what I actually want to see, 934 00:49:25,320 --> 00:49:28,120 Speaker 1: like what I actually am made of? If I were 935 00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:29,839 Speaker 1: to try to lose weight, what would I look like. 936 00:49:30,080 --> 00:49:32,520 Speaker 1: So the first person I went to, she did a 937 00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:35,880 Speaker 1: dunk one of the dunking fat testing on me. And 938 00:49:35,960 --> 00:49:37,719 Speaker 1: I didn't tell her what I did for a living. 939 00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:39,400 Speaker 1: I just came in like, hey, I'm you know, I 940 00:49:39,520 --> 00:49:41,759 Speaker 1: just want to get a fat test. And so she 941 00:49:41,840 --> 00:49:43,279 Speaker 1: sat me down. She's like, what do you do for 942 00:49:43,320 --> 00:49:45,799 Speaker 1: a living? And I was like, I run. She's like, 943 00:49:46,239 --> 00:49:47,160 Speaker 1: do you run. 944 00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:48,120 Speaker 4: Like a lot? 945 00:49:48,239 --> 00:49:50,800 Speaker 1: Or and I was like, yeah, I run a lot. 946 00:49:50,840 --> 00:49:52,719 Speaker 1: And I was like, I'm just wondering if you can 947 00:49:52,719 --> 00:49:54,399 Speaker 1: help me get rid of this muscle. She's like, well, 948 00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:57,600 Speaker 1: you you're eleven percent body fat if you there's not 949 00:49:57,760 --> 00:50:00,160 Speaker 1: really much fat we can get rid of, and then 950 00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:01,920 Speaker 1: we'd start getting rid of muscle. I go, yeah, can 951 00:50:01,960 --> 00:50:03,680 Speaker 1: you do that? Can you help me get rid of muscle, 952 00:50:03,800 --> 00:50:06,080 Speaker 1: like maybe in my legs? And she looks at me 953 00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:09,720 Speaker 1: sideways and she's like, yeah, I don't work with people 954 00:50:09,920 --> 00:50:12,239 Speaker 1: like that. Like she was like pretty much dismissed me. 955 00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:15,840 Speaker 1: She's like, you will ruin your performance, you will ruin 956 00:50:16,400 --> 00:50:18,960 Speaker 1: what you do. You're going to be weak. And I 957 00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:21,080 Speaker 1: was like I didn't believe her, so I went somewhere else. 958 00:50:21,840 --> 00:50:23,480 Speaker 1: I didn't tell the guy what I did. I did 959 00:50:23,480 --> 00:50:25,319 Speaker 1: a Dexa scan. This is where they like lay you 960 00:50:25,360 --> 00:50:28,520 Speaker 1: on a bed, same thing, like, I'm yeah, I work 961 00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:30,360 Speaker 1: out every now and then. And then he scans me. 962 00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:32,600 Speaker 1: He gets the test back. He's like oh, He's like 963 00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:34,880 Speaker 1: what do you do for a living? He's like the 964 00:50:34,920 --> 00:50:37,000 Speaker 1: only people that have ever had these numbers are my 965 00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:40,000 Speaker 1: professional wrestlers. And I was like, yeah, I don't wrestle. 966 00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:43,520 Speaker 1: I run and so kind of. 967 00:50:43,520 --> 00:50:45,400 Speaker 3: The same thing. He's like, you know you can't. 968 00:50:45,719 --> 00:50:48,759 Speaker 1: I've never had anybody ask me to reduce muscle. He's like, 969 00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:50,520 Speaker 1: that's kind of like, why do you want to do that, 970 00:50:50,800 --> 00:50:53,799 Speaker 1: and I started explaining it to him and he's like, no, 971 00:50:53,880 --> 00:50:55,640 Speaker 1: He's like, you can do what you do because of 972 00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:59,000 Speaker 1: your muscle. And for me, like, that's a very humbling 973 00:50:59,040 --> 00:51:02,319 Speaker 1: story to share because I'm in the middle of my 974 00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:05,600 Speaker 1: pro career at this point, trying to figure things out, 975 00:51:05,640 --> 00:51:08,120 Speaker 1: trying to figure out like, can I be better? You know, 976 00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:10,759 Speaker 1: there is there is a bit of science, and yeah, 977 00:51:10,760 --> 00:51:13,279 Speaker 1: the lighter thing is going to get faster up the mountain, right, 978 00:51:13,640 --> 00:51:16,319 Speaker 1: But there's also the other side of you can be 979 00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:18,800 Speaker 1: very efficient and strong in the body that's been given 980 00:51:18,840 --> 00:51:22,160 Speaker 1: to you. And so I had to just own it. 981 00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:25,120 Speaker 1: At that point, I thought, I'm just gonna I'm just 982 00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:26,840 Speaker 1: gonna keep on doing what I do. I'm going to 983 00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:30,520 Speaker 1: keep on being strong. And I had always lifted weights. 984 00:51:30,520 --> 00:51:33,640 Speaker 1: I'd run a fitness and strength company. That's how I 985 00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:36,120 Speaker 1: was able to stay home with my kids. I started 986 00:51:36,120 --> 00:51:39,359 Speaker 1: that back in two thousand and seven. So I was 987 00:51:39,440 --> 00:51:43,719 Speaker 1: always sharing my workouts online and posting videos and things 988 00:51:43,760 --> 00:51:45,480 Speaker 1: like that. And even when people are like, wait, how 989 00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:47,439 Speaker 1: much do you lift and run? That doesn't make sense. 990 00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:49,520 Speaker 1: That's probably why you're so big as a runner, and 991 00:51:49,560 --> 00:51:52,719 Speaker 1: you lift too much. And I just thought, yeah, but 992 00:51:52,840 --> 00:51:56,239 Speaker 1: I'm like not injured, like this is this is just 993 00:51:56,360 --> 00:51:57,000 Speaker 1: kind of. 994 00:51:56,880 --> 00:51:59,160 Speaker 4: What you know, what I love and what I do. 995 00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:03,040 Speaker 1: But yeah, I think that I'll always deal with the comments. 996 00:52:03,080 --> 00:52:05,319 Speaker 1: I'll always deal with people coming up to me no 997 00:52:05,400 --> 00:52:08,680 Speaker 1: matter where I go. And I used to be cynical 998 00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:11,960 Speaker 1: about it, and even ashamed. I used to wear really 999 00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:15,400 Speaker 1: long jackets everywhere I went. I was always hiding my 1000 00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:17,400 Speaker 1: body when I would go to events or races or 1001 00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:21,200 Speaker 1: anything whenever I did media, just so that I wouldn't 1002 00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:25,120 Speaker 1: get comments or people staring. But that was not a 1003 00:52:25,160 --> 00:52:27,600 Speaker 1: way to live life. And I knew that. I knew 1004 00:52:27,640 --> 00:52:30,000 Speaker 1: I needed to just embrace me. 1005 00:52:30,920 --> 00:52:33,120 Speaker 2: People are always going to have an opinion, right, And 1006 00:52:33,200 --> 00:52:35,520 Speaker 2: even you said, like both sides of the coin. It 1007 00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:38,879 Speaker 2: was like when you were playing soccer, you weren't big enough, 1008 00:52:38,920 --> 00:52:41,759 Speaker 2: and now that you're running, you're too big, And it's 1009 00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:45,120 Speaker 2: just like that word should It really gets in your 1010 00:52:45,160 --> 00:52:48,520 Speaker 2: head sometimes. I mean I recently myself shared a post 1011 00:52:48,640 --> 00:52:51,240 Speaker 2: kind of coming clean that before the New York Marathon 1012 00:52:51,360 --> 00:52:54,960 Speaker 2: last year, coming off of a pandemic, only seeing you know, 1013 00:52:55,120 --> 00:52:57,799 Speaker 2: a certain amount of people in my circle over the 1014 00:52:57,840 --> 00:53:01,000 Speaker 2: past couple of years that I felt really insecure about 1015 00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:03,279 Speaker 2: this idea that I was about to quote unquote be 1016 00:53:03,800 --> 00:53:07,239 Speaker 2: on display running through my city for people to have 1017 00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:10,520 Speaker 2: an opinion about my body. And as a result, and 1018 00:53:10,920 --> 00:53:14,040 Speaker 2: this is what I had mentioned, I certainly I mean, 1019 00:53:14,080 --> 00:53:16,680 Speaker 2: I was eating the weeks leading up to the race, 1020 00:53:16,719 --> 00:53:19,120 Speaker 2: but I was not fueling my body like the strong 1021 00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:23,360 Speaker 2: machine that had carried me for sixteen weeks through grueling training, 1022 00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:25,600 Speaker 2: through one of the best training cycles that I had 1023 00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:29,280 Speaker 2: ever had. And as a result of that, I felt 1024 00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:31,719 Speaker 2: like by mile eight at the New York Marathon in 1025 00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:34,799 Speaker 2: twenty twenty one that I was completely bonked. And you 1026 00:53:34,880 --> 00:53:38,240 Speaker 2: have to go through these hurdles or these quote unquote 1027 00:53:38,239 --> 00:53:41,240 Speaker 2: failures to get to a point sometimes where you find 1028 00:53:41,280 --> 00:53:44,480 Speaker 2: that appreciation that for one reason or another, whether it 1029 00:53:44,560 --> 00:53:46,799 Speaker 2: be a mean comment on the Internet, or something else 1030 00:53:46,840 --> 00:53:48,719 Speaker 2: that's going on in your personal life, or maybe just 1031 00:53:48,760 --> 00:53:51,680 Speaker 2: where your head is at at the moment, that gets 1032 00:53:51,760 --> 00:53:55,080 Speaker 2: you to have that greater understanding and appreciation for what 1033 00:53:55,160 --> 00:53:57,520 Speaker 2: you do have instead of focusing on the things that 1034 00:53:57,560 --> 00:54:00,000 Speaker 2: you are without or what could be or quote unquote 1035 00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:03,439 Speaker 2: should be different. And so for me to go through 1036 00:54:03,480 --> 00:54:05,840 Speaker 2: that lesson at the twenty twenty one New York marathon. 1037 00:54:06,400 --> 00:54:09,000 Speaker 3: I now know better, and because I know better, I 1038 00:54:09,120 --> 00:54:09,640 Speaker 3: do better. 1039 00:54:09,719 --> 00:54:12,040 Speaker 2: I recently ran the New York City half marathon, and 1040 00:54:12,080 --> 00:54:14,719 Speaker 2: that entire week I was so much more focused. And 1041 00:54:14,760 --> 00:54:17,840 Speaker 2: I know you nerd out about fueling and nutrition. Now 1042 00:54:18,200 --> 00:54:21,440 Speaker 2: I'm totally there with you. I was really thinking, like 1043 00:54:21,600 --> 00:54:23,920 Speaker 2: very highly about what I was putting into my body 1044 00:54:23,920 --> 00:54:26,960 Speaker 2: and how I could fuel myself for the performance that 1045 00:54:27,040 --> 00:54:29,440 Speaker 2: I knew that I had worked so hard to achieve. 1046 00:54:29,680 --> 00:54:31,920 Speaker 3: And so I'm right there with you. 1047 00:54:32,200 --> 00:54:35,959 Speaker 2: It's hard as hell to not let other people who 1048 00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:40,520 Speaker 2: you actually know nothing about have an opinion on you 1049 00:54:40,680 --> 00:54:43,040 Speaker 2: and your body and what you've got going on, and 1050 00:54:43,040 --> 00:54:46,719 Speaker 2: not about that impact you. But as Trent Shelton, he's 1051 00:54:46,760 --> 00:54:48,719 Speaker 2: a motivational speaker. I had him on the show once 1052 00:54:48,760 --> 00:54:52,000 Speaker 2: and he always says this, and I am like, yes, sir, 1053 00:54:52,719 --> 00:54:55,400 Speaker 2: are the people that have something to say about you 1054 00:54:55,440 --> 00:54:57,319 Speaker 2: and your body? Are those people going to be at 1055 00:54:57,320 --> 00:54:58,680 Speaker 2: your funeral? Yeah? 1056 00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:03,080 Speaker 3: No, probably not, probably not. So you gotta let it go, 1057 00:55:03,360 --> 00:55:05,720 Speaker 3: you know. But again, easier said than done. 1058 00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:06,400 Speaker 4: Totally. 1059 00:55:06,880 --> 00:55:07,480 Speaker 3: I love that. 1060 00:55:07,640 --> 00:55:07,839 Speaker 4: Yeah. 1061 00:55:07,840 --> 00:55:11,719 Speaker 1: I actually, now that my kids are older, we have 1062 00:55:11,800 --> 00:55:14,759 Speaker 1: conversations about that because social media isn't something that we 1063 00:55:14,800 --> 00:55:16,560 Speaker 1: had to deal with in our formative years. 1064 00:55:16,760 --> 00:55:20,239 Speaker 2: And I can't even imagine being sixteen and dealing with 1065 00:55:20,280 --> 00:55:22,040 Speaker 2: social media right now, because it's such a hard time 1066 00:55:22,040 --> 00:55:24,879 Speaker 2: at sixteen without it. But then also like for you 1067 00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:27,919 Speaker 2: being a parent and helping them navigate that, my mind 1068 00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:28,400 Speaker 2: is blown. 1069 00:55:28,480 --> 00:55:29,760 Speaker 3: My mind is blown, right. 1070 00:55:29,840 --> 00:55:32,520 Speaker 1: I mean, we have kids that you know, their brains 1071 00:55:32,560 --> 00:55:35,360 Speaker 1: aren't even fully formed, and you see adults struggling with 1072 00:55:35,920 --> 00:55:39,920 Speaker 1: social media all the time, and so we were pretty 1073 00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:42,040 Speaker 1: strict with it in my home. We're strict with their 1074 00:55:42,080 --> 00:55:44,839 Speaker 1: phone screen time, all of that. I'm totally that mom, 1075 00:55:45,920 --> 00:55:48,920 Speaker 1: and I'm not ashamed of it because I just I 1076 00:55:49,320 --> 00:55:55,120 Speaker 1: see how it can change a kid's whole day by 1077 00:55:55,160 --> 00:55:57,359 Speaker 1: the swipe of a screen or a comment that comes 1078 00:55:57,400 --> 00:56:01,160 Speaker 1: in or something that's so hurtful. And remember when I'm 1079 00:56:01,200 --> 00:56:04,279 Speaker 1: not sure which of my kids they had gotten, like 1080 00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:08,720 Speaker 1: a mean comment was said to them, and I told them, 1081 00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:11,200 Speaker 1: who are the people that you look up to and 1082 00:56:11,200 --> 00:56:13,120 Speaker 1: that you want to be like? You know, who are 1083 00:56:13,160 --> 00:56:15,719 Speaker 1: your heroes? It doesn't even have to be like a 1084 00:56:15,760 --> 00:56:19,960 Speaker 1: famous athlete or musician or anything like that. When you 1085 00:56:20,040 --> 00:56:25,280 Speaker 1: think of your heroes, are those heroes also taking time 1086 00:56:25,440 --> 00:56:28,719 Speaker 1: to tear people down? Do heroes tear people down. Are 1087 00:56:28,719 --> 00:56:31,200 Speaker 1: people that you are inspired by that you hope to 1088 00:56:31,239 --> 00:56:34,520 Speaker 1: be like one day. People that are that are always 1089 00:56:34,520 --> 00:56:37,200 Speaker 1: putting into hard work and working toward their goals is. 1090 00:56:37,239 --> 00:56:38,360 Speaker 3: Part of their life. 1091 00:56:38,880 --> 00:56:42,600 Speaker 1: Just randomly putting other people down. And do people that 1092 00:56:42,760 --> 00:56:45,160 Speaker 1: care about you and love you do they say these 1093 00:56:45,200 --> 00:56:48,080 Speaker 1: things to you. And so we had we proceeded to 1094 00:56:48,120 --> 00:56:50,319 Speaker 1: add this like long conversation about that, and they said, 1095 00:56:50,520 --> 00:56:52,799 Speaker 1: that's how you're going to know what to receive and 1096 00:56:52,840 --> 00:56:56,600 Speaker 1: what to reject. You know, sometimes your close family and 1097 00:56:56,600 --> 00:56:58,880 Speaker 1: friends are going to have hard conversations with you. There 1098 00:56:58,920 --> 00:57:01,840 Speaker 1: is going to be some constructive and truth should be spoken. 1099 00:57:01,920 --> 00:57:04,960 Speaker 1: Some that needs to happen. We don't need flattery and 1100 00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:06,560 Speaker 1: all the good things said to us all the time 1101 00:57:06,560 --> 00:57:08,839 Speaker 1: if we're going to grow, but be careful about who 1102 00:57:08,920 --> 00:57:11,560 Speaker 1: those people are. And you know, I think it's important 1103 00:57:11,560 --> 00:57:14,400 Speaker 1: that you choose who gets to speak into your life. 1104 00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:17,560 Speaker 1: For me, it's a very small circle. And the people 1105 00:57:17,600 --> 00:57:19,720 Speaker 1: who get to speak into my life also call me 1106 00:57:19,760 --> 00:57:21,720 Speaker 1: on the carpet on things too, like Hey, was that 1107 00:57:21,800 --> 00:57:24,320 Speaker 1: the best decision? Or should you have said that? Because 1108 00:57:24,360 --> 00:57:26,720 Speaker 1: I know they've loved me from day one, they've loved 1109 00:57:26,720 --> 00:57:28,680 Speaker 1: me in all seasons, Sally. 1110 00:57:28,440 --> 00:57:29,480 Speaker 3: Who are your heroes? 1111 00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:32,680 Speaker 1: You know? Growing up, I definitely had sports heroes that 1112 00:57:32,760 --> 00:57:35,480 Speaker 1: I looked up to. I loved Michael Jordan, I loved 1113 00:57:35,560 --> 00:57:39,400 Speaker 1: Kim zamescal Brandy Chastain, and Mia Hamm. These are all athletes. 1114 00:57:39,680 --> 00:57:42,920 Speaker 1: But my mom really was my greatest hero. There are 1115 00:57:43,200 --> 00:57:46,840 Speaker 1: moments in her life where she exhibited such incredible strength 1116 00:57:46,960 --> 00:57:51,560 Speaker 1: that I still recall on those moments in my life 1117 00:57:51,560 --> 00:57:56,160 Speaker 1: today and where I think about probably my my and 1118 00:57:56,200 --> 00:57:58,040 Speaker 1: maybe I think this goes for a lot of people. 1119 00:57:58,120 --> 00:58:02,720 Speaker 1: Sometimes the people were most inspired by they're not well known, 1120 00:58:02,960 --> 00:58:06,520 Speaker 1: famous people. It's people who live real lives, who are 1121 00:58:06,560 --> 00:58:11,240 Speaker 1: both vulnerable in their failures and their weaknesses, but they 1122 00:58:11,280 --> 00:58:15,240 Speaker 1: don't give up. And so you know, my husband is 1123 00:58:15,240 --> 00:58:18,400 Speaker 1: one of them too. I've always told him, like, no 1124 00:58:18,400 --> 00:58:21,160 Speaker 1: one is more persevering and enduring than you are. I 1125 00:58:21,200 --> 00:58:23,200 Speaker 1: met him when I was eighteen. We've been best friends 1126 00:58:23,200 --> 00:58:26,720 Speaker 1: since we were eighteen, so and he's never stopped loving me. 1127 00:58:27,200 --> 00:58:29,240 Speaker 1: And I know that I haven't always been an easy 1128 00:58:29,280 --> 00:58:31,400 Speaker 1: person to be around, especially just the way that my 1129 00:58:31,440 --> 00:58:33,360 Speaker 1: life is and all the different things that I'm doing 1130 00:58:33,400 --> 00:58:36,120 Speaker 1: all the time. Like he's so supportive. So you know, 1131 00:58:36,160 --> 00:58:39,120 Speaker 1: the ones that I look up to are they're real people. 1132 00:58:39,200 --> 00:58:42,680 Speaker 1: So I'd say my husband and my mom. 1133 00:58:43,040 --> 00:58:46,960 Speaker 2: Vulnerability is relatable finding someone who seems to have no 1134 00:58:47,080 --> 00:58:50,960 Speaker 2: problems at all, that like level of perfection is completely not. 1135 00:58:52,920 --> 00:58:53,640 Speaker 3: Completely not. 1136 00:58:55,000 --> 00:58:58,560 Speaker 2: When someone goes to your Instagram page, they see this 1137 00:58:58,760 --> 00:59:04,040 Speaker 2: outstanding tramerathon her she's got almost one hundred thousand followers, 1138 00:59:04,200 --> 00:59:05,480 Speaker 2: A proud mom. 1139 00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:06,240 Speaker 3: A devoted wife. 1140 00:59:06,280 --> 00:59:08,600 Speaker 2: When you look in the mirror, what is it that 1141 00:59:08,680 --> 00:59:10,160 Speaker 2: you see a looking back at you. 1142 00:59:12,800 --> 00:59:15,280 Speaker 1: Well, the most consistent thing that I see, and I 1143 00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:18,560 Speaker 1: tell myself, is someone that's growing. And that's truly what 1144 00:59:18,800 --> 00:59:22,800 Speaker 1: I desire. I want to know that there's still room 1145 00:59:23,200 --> 00:59:26,120 Speaker 1: left for me to grow. I think when I look 1146 00:59:26,160 --> 00:59:28,560 Speaker 1: at myself and I think that too, it allows me 1147 00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:31,160 Speaker 1: to give myself a little bit more grace because I 1148 00:59:31,200 --> 00:59:34,760 Speaker 1: know that with growth, like you know, it's like any plant, 1149 00:59:34,800 --> 00:59:37,480 Speaker 1: like you got to push through some dirt to bloom. 1150 00:59:37,680 --> 00:59:39,640 Speaker 1: And I feel like that in my life, Like I 1151 00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:42,920 Speaker 1: feel like I'll grow and then I think I have 1152 00:59:43,040 --> 00:59:44,800 Speaker 1: it figured out, and then it's like, no, you still 1153 00:59:44,800 --> 00:59:47,840 Speaker 1: got some more grown to go. There's still things that 1154 00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:50,000 Speaker 1: we can improve on or things that we can do better. 1155 00:59:50,040 --> 00:59:53,520 Speaker 1: But I think too with growth in my life, it 1156 00:59:53,680 --> 00:59:57,600 Speaker 1: just means that I'm also aware of how important it 1157 00:59:57,640 --> 01:00:01,600 Speaker 1: is to be a student, and whether that's like mentally, physically, 1158 01:00:01,760 --> 01:00:04,880 Speaker 1: in my relationships. If ever, I come to a point 1159 01:00:04,880 --> 01:00:07,360 Speaker 1: in my life where I think I've learned everything there 1160 01:00:07,440 --> 01:00:10,320 Speaker 1: is to learn, or that I'm a master expert, Like 1161 01:00:10,920 --> 01:00:13,320 Speaker 1: even as a professional ultra runner, I know there's there's 1162 01:00:13,360 --> 01:00:15,600 Speaker 1: so many mistakes I still make and things that I 1163 01:00:15,640 --> 01:00:17,880 Speaker 1: need to learn. And so yeah, that's that's probably the 1164 01:00:17,880 --> 01:00:21,520 Speaker 1: biggest thing. And I'm a woman who is who's growing. 1165 01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:23,320 Speaker 3: You know. 1166 01:00:23,400 --> 01:00:27,160 Speaker 2: It's funny we're kind of winding down here and I'm 1167 01:00:27,200 --> 01:00:33,560 Speaker 2: realizing that we've hardly talked about ultra running. And I 1168 01:00:33,680 --> 01:00:37,000 Speaker 2: think that that is a testament to what you were 1169 01:00:37,040 --> 01:00:41,320 Speaker 2: saying before about the fact that running is such a 1170 01:00:41,400 --> 01:00:44,160 Speaker 2: small part of it. Like, yes, it is your career 1171 01:00:44,280 --> 01:00:46,880 Speaker 2: and it is an act that you've partaken, but the 1172 01:00:47,000 --> 01:00:53,080 Speaker 2: lessons that you've learned on the run and interwoven with 1173 01:00:53,280 --> 01:00:57,600 Speaker 2: the run are the things that your life is actually 1174 01:00:57,680 --> 01:01:00,840 Speaker 2: built upon. They're the building blocks for who you've become 1175 01:01:01,440 --> 01:01:05,360 Speaker 2: when you reflect on your career thus far, And you 1176 01:01:05,400 --> 01:01:06,600 Speaker 2: did say that. 1177 01:01:06,640 --> 01:01:08,640 Speaker 3: You're just in the middle of it right now. 1178 01:01:09,640 --> 01:01:12,080 Speaker 2: What would you say has been one of your proudest 1179 01:01:12,160 --> 01:01:15,280 Speaker 2: accomplishments as an ultrarunner. 1180 01:01:15,880 --> 01:01:17,760 Speaker 3: Gosh, I have two. 1181 01:01:18,160 --> 01:01:20,760 Speaker 1: I think is being able to do it as a mom. 1182 01:01:21,400 --> 01:01:23,840 Speaker 1: I think when I got when I got signed, having 1183 01:01:23,920 --> 01:01:26,840 Speaker 1: two young kids and knowing what I came from, like 1184 01:01:26,920 --> 01:01:28,600 Speaker 1: that was huge for me. 1185 01:01:28,680 --> 01:01:33,200 Speaker 3: It's very personal to me. It's it's not popular, you know. 1186 01:01:33,240 --> 01:01:36,040 Speaker 1: When I first came on, I didn't really know any 1187 01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:40,400 Speaker 1: other moms that we're doing it, and it went back 1188 01:01:40,400 --> 01:01:41,880 Speaker 1: and forth like sometimes I was like, oh, maybe I 1189 01:01:41,880 --> 01:01:43,560 Speaker 1: shouldn't be here, but then I was like, no, it's 1190 01:01:43,600 --> 01:01:46,360 Speaker 1: so great. I know I can still be a great 1191 01:01:46,440 --> 01:01:50,720 Speaker 1: mom and show my kids this pathway and still pursue things. 1192 01:01:50,440 --> 01:01:51,360 Speaker 4: That I love. 1193 01:01:51,520 --> 01:01:53,360 Speaker 3: And so there's that. 1194 01:01:53,520 --> 01:01:57,960 Speaker 1: And then winning Badwater last year was really personal to 1195 01:01:58,040 --> 01:01:58,480 Speaker 1: me too. 1196 01:01:58,640 --> 01:02:00,919 Speaker 3: I think on a on a. 1197 01:02:00,400 --> 01:02:03,600 Speaker 1: Career level, that's something I love, That's something I will 1198 01:02:03,600 --> 01:02:05,520 Speaker 1: never be taken away from me. Being a bad Water 1199 01:02:05,600 --> 01:02:08,680 Speaker 1: champion is something I dreamed about for a long time, 1200 01:02:08,920 --> 01:02:13,480 Speaker 1: and I really loved, loved being able to accomplish that dream. 1201 01:02:13,960 --> 01:02:16,640 Speaker 1: But a small piece of it, which it actually took 1202 01:02:16,640 --> 01:02:20,000 Speaker 1: me a while to digest, was and I've actually only 1203 01:02:20,040 --> 01:02:22,360 Speaker 1: talked about this like one other time was I wasn't 1204 01:02:22,480 --> 01:02:25,960 Speaker 1: really excited about the performance I had. That wasn't the 1205 01:02:25,960 --> 01:02:28,160 Speaker 1: performance that I had trained for and what I knew 1206 01:02:28,200 --> 01:02:30,280 Speaker 1: I was capable of. Like I was pretty sad about 1207 01:02:30,280 --> 01:02:32,040 Speaker 1: my time, Like I was like, oh my gosh, I 1208 01:02:32,040 --> 01:02:35,800 Speaker 1: wanted like four hours faster. But as I went through 1209 01:02:36,440 --> 01:02:40,200 Speaker 1: like the motions post race thinking about that, I realized 1210 01:02:40,240 --> 01:02:43,120 Speaker 1: that so much of what happened in that race is 1211 01:02:43,200 --> 01:02:46,080 Speaker 1: so just it's so true to the journey of my 1212 01:02:46,240 --> 01:02:48,960 Speaker 1: life and what I've the path that I've always been on, 1213 01:02:49,600 --> 01:02:51,520 Speaker 1: and I have to be okay with that. I have 1214 01:02:51,600 --> 01:02:55,440 Speaker 1: to be okay that for me, it might be that 1215 01:02:55,520 --> 01:02:57,680 Speaker 1: I always get to the finish line with a limp, 1216 01:02:58,320 --> 01:03:02,919 Speaker 1: and that very much defies my life and who I am. 1217 01:03:03,560 --> 01:03:06,000 Speaker 1: And I think that being able to share that with 1218 01:03:06,120 --> 01:03:09,240 Speaker 1: people allows them to be okay with Like, just because 1219 01:03:09,280 --> 01:03:13,080 Speaker 1: you overcome something or you work through a challenge in 1220 01:03:13,120 --> 01:03:15,600 Speaker 1: your life, it's okay if you still feel it's okay 1221 01:03:15,680 --> 01:03:18,600 Speaker 1: if you still have visible scars from it, Like you 1222 01:03:18,640 --> 01:03:21,640 Speaker 1: don't have to then become like a perfect person. And 1223 01:03:21,800 --> 01:03:25,200 Speaker 1: I've had a couple races where I've won but like 1224 01:03:25,320 --> 01:03:28,560 Speaker 1: the struggle to get there, or like the finishing time 1225 01:03:28,640 --> 01:03:31,840 Speaker 1: wasn't what I personally wanted, and that was hard for me. 1226 01:03:31,920 --> 01:03:33,880 Speaker 1: But then I realized, I'm like, oh my gosh, like 1227 01:03:34,480 --> 01:03:37,240 Speaker 1: this is such a beautiful parallel. 1228 01:03:36,680 --> 01:03:37,440 Speaker 3: To my life. 1229 01:03:37,480 --> 01:03:39,080 Speaker 1: Like I went out and I trained on that bad 1230 01:03:39,160 --> 01:03:42,920 Speaker 1: water course like so hard, Like I was running the 1231 01:03:43,000 --> 01:03:45,960 Speaker 1: last twelve miles of that race is a five thousand 1232 01:03:45,960 --> 01:03:49,200 Speaker 1: foot climbup to Mount Whitney, and I ran hundreds of 1233 01:03:49,200 --> 01:03:51,600 Speaker 1: miles in my training and that and I made sure 1234 01:03:51,680 --> 01:03:53,960 Speaker 1: that I would be the fastest person running up that 1235 01:03:54,000 --> 01:03:56,640 Speaker 1: mountain and I loved it. I was my favorite part. 1236 01:03:57,000 --> 01:03:59,960 Speaker 1: And in the race, like I was struggling to take 1237 01:04:00,160 --> 01:04:04,000 Speaker 1: a step, like I dragged myself up that mountain. And 1238 01:04:04,040 --> 01:04:06,120 Speaker 1: I was in fear a lot too, because I knew 1239 01:04:06,120 --> 01:04:09,720 Speaker 1: I was. I lost so much time, and I kept 1240 01:04:09,760 --> 01:04:12,720 Speaker 1: on asking crew, like do you see a headlamp behind us? 1241 01:04:12,720 --> 01:04:15,160 Speaker 1: Like is someone coming up? Like I don't know how 1242 01:04:15,240 --> 01:04:18,040 Speaker 1: much longer I can push. And the one picture that 1243 01:04:18,080 --> 01:04:20,320 Speaker 1: my husband had posted on his Instagram, it was a 1244 01:04:20,360 --> 01:04:23,360 Speaker 1: mile before the finish line. I'm on my knees, I'm 1245 01:04:23,400 --> 01:04:25,600 Speaker 1: bent over on my knees. I've been throwing up and 1246 01:04:26,160 --> 01:04:28,640 Speaker 1: and it's him talking to me saying, you're gonna be okay, 1247 01:04:28,680 --> 01:04:31,240 Speaker 1: like you're so close. And I remember at that point 1248 01:04:31,360 --> 01:04:34,000 Speaker 1: crying because I was like, I can't believe, Like I've 1249 01:04:34,040 --> 01:04:37,440 Speaker 1: wanted to win this for so long, but in my mind, 1250 01:04:37,000 --> 01:04:42,000 Speaker 1: I envision myself winning triumphantly. I envisioned myself getting to 1251 01:04:42,040 --> 01:04:45,680 Speaker 1: the finish line like so strong and just like breaking 1252 01:04:45,720 --> 01:04:50,160 Speaker 1: that tape like a tiger, and I'm literally like limping 1253 01:04:50,320 --> 01:04:55,400 Speaker 1: into my into my champion finish and so that was 1254 01:04:55,800 --> 01:04:58,360 Speaker 1: that was hard for me, I think on and it's 1255 01:04:58,400 --> 01:05:00,840 Speaker 1: hard to talk about too, because I think that a 1256 01:05:00,880 --> 01:05:03,280 Speaker 1: lot of runners would be like whatever, man, Like I'd 1257 01:05:03,280 --> 01:05:04,439 Speaker 1: do anything to win that race. 1258 01:05:04,480 --> 01:05:05,360 Speaker 3: You're so lucky to do it. 1259 01:05:05,600 --> 01:05:08,080 Speaker 1: But it's like when you have a goal for yourself 1260 01:05:08,240 --> 01:05:11,320 Speaker 1: you've worked so hard for and you've devoted your whole 1261 01:05:11,320 --> 01:05:14,800 Speaker 1: life and you sacrifice, it's precious and it's personal to you. 1262 01:05:15,120 --> 01:05:17,959 Speaker 1: It's not your goal, it's mine, and when you don't 1263 01:05:18,040 --> 01:05:21,040 Speaker 1: meet it, it hurts a little bit. And so I 1264 01:05:21,440 --> 01:05:23,200 Speaker 1: had to work through all of that for the couple 1265 01:05:23,280 --> 01:05:25,800 Speaker 1: weeks after the race, But then I just realized, I 1266 01:05:25,840 --> 01:05:28,120 Speaker 1: was like, you know, I'm actually grateful for that, because 1267 01:05:28,480 --> 01:05:31,600 Speaker 1: the power of that finish is just a reminder of 1268 01:05:31,760 --> 01:05:34,520 Speaker 1: so many of the things that I've overcome in my life. 1269 01:05:34,600 --> 01:05:38,160 Speaker 1: Like I haven't been great. I have a lot of regrets, 1270 01:05:38,360 --> 01:05:40,520 Speaker 1: you know, a lot of pain, but I'm still here 1271 01:05:40,560 --> 01:05:42,160 Speaker 1: and I'm still moving forward. 1272 01:05:42,600 --> 01:05:44,880 Speaker 2: To provide a little bit of context or anyone who 1273 01:05:44,920 --> 01:05:47,919 Speaker 2: doesn't exactly know all of the things about the Bad 1274 01:05:47,960 --> 01:05:51,360 Speaker 2: Water one thirty five, it is quote the world's toughest 1275 01:05:51,360 --> 01:05:54,840 Speaker 2: foot race, a near mythical status. 1276 01:05:54,240 --> 01:05:57,080 Speaker 3: In the world of extreme running. So I just want 1277 01:05:57,120 --> 01:05:59,880 Speaker 3: to make sure that we lay that down real quick. 1278 01:06:00,040 --> 01:06:04,600 Speaker 2: And I also do want to say that when it 1279 01:06:04,720 --> 01:06:09,680 Speaker 2: comes to that finish, you're talking about being on your 1280 01:06:09,760 --> 01:06:12,959 Speaker 2: knees a mile from the end, being in such a dark, 1281 01:06:13,160 --> 01:06:18,800 Speaker 2: frustrating place for anyone who may experience negative self talk 1282 01:06:18,960 --> 01:06:22,360 Speaker 2: or find themselves in a similar position of being in 1283 01:06:22,400 --> 01:06:25,400 Speaker 2: the lowest of lows. Maybe not necessarily on the side 1284 01:06:25,440 --> 01:06:27,880 Speaker 2: of a mountain, but you get what I'm saying, What 1285 01:06:28,000 --> 01:06:31,200 Speaker 2: advice do you have to offer them when it comes 1286 01:06:31,240 --> 01:06:33,000 Speaker 2: to channeling that in our resilience. 1287 01:06:33,440 --> 01:06:36,280 Speaker 1: One of the most powerful things that I do in 1288 01:06:36,320 --> 01:06:39,600 Speaker 1: those moments is I ask myself, what story do you 1289 01:06:39,600 --> 01:06:44,800 Speaker 1: want to tell tomorrow. And when you ask yourself that 1290 01:06:45,120 --> 01:06:49,520 Speaker 1: you take full responsibility. You can't blame anyone or anything. 1291 01:06:49,840 --> 01:06:51,720 Speaker 1: I could have been like, hey, i've and I did. 1292 01:06:51,760 --> 01:06:55,240 Speaker 1: I had diarrhea from mile fourteen, like I had a 1293 01:06:55,280 --> 01:06:58,320 Speaker 1: horrible time keeping down my fuel, I was cramping, like 1294 01:06:58,400 --> 01:07:00,880 Speaker 1: I was dizzy, like I had to put so much 1295 01:07:01,360 --> 01:07:04,960 Speaker 1: physical discomfort, And I could have blamed that. I thought, Well, 1296 01:07:04,960 --> 01:07:07,360 Speaker 1: if I didn't have this, and if I wasn't vomiting, 1297 01:07:07,400 --> 01:07:10,480 Speaker 1: and if I But no, it's what story are you 1298 01:07:10,560 --> 01:07:11,760 Speaker 1: going to tell? And now are you going to be 1299 01:07:11,840 --> 01:07:14,120 Speaker 1: proud of that story? Is what's going to be the 1300 01:07:14,160 --> 01:07:17,120 Speaker 1: best part? What's the turning point, what's the climax, How 1301 01:07:17,200 --> 01:07:17,960 Speaker 1: is it going to finish? 1302 01:07:18,160 --> 01:07:19,120 Speaker 3: Who's going to listen? 1303 01:07:19,840 --> 01:07:22,600 Speaker 1: And I think that we can do that at every 1304 01:07:23,080 --> 01:07:25,400 Speaker 1: point of our life when we have to make hard decisions, 1305 01:07:25,440 --> 01:07:29,520 Speaker 1: whether it's in your relationships and your career, your interactions 1306 01:07:29,600 --> 01:07:32,080 Speaker 1: with the world around you, when you are gone at 1307 01:07:32,080 --> 01:07:32,920 Speaker 1: the end of your life. 1308 01:07:33,240 --> 01:07:34,920 Speaker 3: What is going to be the best. 1309 01:07:34,640 --> 01:07:37,040 Speaker 1: Part of your story? What story do you want to tell? 1310 01:07:37,600 --> 01:07:39,120 Speaker 3: What excites you right now? 1311 01:07:39,600 --> 01:07:41,800 Speaker 1: My kids, I mean they're at this age. I mean 1312 01:07:41,800 --> 01:07:44,120 Speaker 1: my kids always excite me. But like both of them 1313 01:07:44,160 --> 01:07:48,080 Speaker 1: are really starting to be laser focused on their own 1314 01:07:48,480 --> 01:07:52,439 Speaker 1: goals in sport, and I love I mean, I get 1315 01:07:52,440 --> 01:07:55,200 Speaker 1: so excited. I love being on the sidelines watching them 1316 01:07:55,480 --> 01:07:57,680 Speaker 1: because I still see them as like four and six 1317 01:07:57,760 --> 01:08:01,720 Speaker 1: years old and they're not. But they they keep me 1318 01:08:01,840 --> 01:08:06,360 Speaker 1: motivated and moving through not only like my training, but 1319 01:08:06,680 --> 01:08:09,920 Speaker 1: they keep me excited for the future and my kids 1320 01:08:09,960 --> 01:08:12,400 Speaker 1: because they've grown up with a mom that's always trained. 1321 01:08:12,480 --> 01:08:15,120 Speaker 1: Like they are constantly like, what was your mileage today, 1322 01:08:15,120 --> 01:08:17,840 Speaker 1: how'd your run go, where'd you run? What race do 1323 01:08:17,840 --> 01:08:20,720 Speaker 1: you have coming up? Like, they're so just they keep 1324 01:08:20,720 --> 01:08:22,760 Speaker 1: me on my toes and they bring so much joy 1325 01:08:22,760 --> 01:08:26,000 Speaker 1: into my life. So I'd say that the other side, 1326 01:08:26,040 --> 01:08:29,160 Speaker 1: I'm excited to finish my book and I'm excited about 1327 01:08:29,320 --> 01:08:32,320 Speaker 1: you know what that what hopefully the good that will 1328 01:08:32,360 --> 01:08:34,439 Speaker 1: come from that, you know, the story that I want 1329 01:08:34,479 --> 01:08:36,760 Speaker 1: to share is is hopefully to encourage people. So those 1330 01:08:36,800 --> 01:08:40,880 Speaker 1: are probably the two biggest things that keep me enthusiastic 1331 01:08:41,439 --> 01:08:44,519 Speaker 1: my running always will. I never grow tired of running. 1332 01:08:44,520 --> 01:08:46,799 Speaker 1: And I have a lot of exciting races on the calendar. 1333 01:08:46,800 --> 01:08:49,760 Speaker 1: I'll be hitting up a handful of countries this year. 1334 01:08:49,800 --> 01:08:51,880 Speaker 1: I love to travel and see the world. It's been 1335 01:08:51,920 --> 01:08:54,439 Speaker 1: one of the greatest gifts of my career is being 1336 01:08:54,479 --> 01:08:56,599 Speaker 1: able to interact with people all over the world while 1337 01:08:56,880 --> 01:09:00,200 Speaker 1: running up gorgeous peaks. But yeah, those are those are 1338 01:09:00,200 --> 01:09:02,720 Speaker 1: at the forefront of every day of my life. 1339 01:09:03,080 --> 01:09:05,519 Speaker 2: I'm also excited for you to finish your book. I 1340 01:09:05,560 --> 01:09:07,480 Speaker 2: cannot cannot cannot. 1341 01:09:07,120 --> 01:09:10,040 Speaker 3: Wait for it. Thank you, all right, Sally, final question? 1342 01:09:11,040 --> 01:09:15,200 Speaker 2: Right now, you have an opportunity to offer yourself looking 1343 01:09:15,240 --> 01:09:18,719 Speaker 2: back on the hurdle moment in the eighteen months after 1344 01:09:19,320 --> 01:09:24,400 Speaker 2: your mom's passing, taking care of your father, dealing with 1345 01:09:25,040 --> 01:09:28,680 Speaker 2: a lot of tough shit. You have an opportunity to 1346 01:09:28,760 --> 01:09:31,640 Speaker 2: offer that young woman a piece of advice looking back 1347 01:09:31,680 --> 01:09:32,519 Speaker 2: on that hurdle moment. 1348 01:09:32,640 --> 01:09:34,719 Speaker 3: What do you tell her? 1349 01:09:35,560 --> 01:09:38,200 Speaker 1: I tell her you can't see it now, but it's 1350 01:09:38,240 --> 01:09:40,680 Speaker 1: going to be better than you could ever imagine. 1351 01:09:42,160 --> 01:09:43,120 Speaker 3: So grateful for you. 1352 01:09:43,200 --> 01:09:45,360 Speaker 2: I feel like that's like the biggest understatement I have 1353 01:09:45,479 --> 01:09:49,679 Speaker 2: said in the last like five years. I am truly 1354 01:09:50,080 --> 01:09:54,559 Speaker 2: just one of many people that gain so much from 1355 01:09:54,680 --> 01:09:57,040 Speaker 2: keeping up with you, or at least attempting to on 1356 01:09:57,080 --> 01:09:57,719 Speaker 2: social media. 1357 01:09:57,800 --> 01:10:01,800 Speaker 3: Not IRL, and I'm so happy that we can make 1358 01:10:01,840 --> 01:10:02,320 Speaker 3: this happen. 1359 01:10:02,360 --> 01:10:04,400 Speaker 2: How do the hurdlers follow along with you. How do 1360 01:10:04,439 --> 01:10:07,200 Speaker 2: they keep up with you as well? Give us a details. 1361 01:10:07,439 --> 01:10:10,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, you can follow me on Instagram. That's probably where 1362 01:10:10,280 --> 01:10:13,519 Speaker 1: my most active daily is on Instagram. I do have 1363 01:10:13,800 --> 01:10:17,160 Speaker 1: a couple Facebook pages. One is a private community to 1364 01:10:17,240 --> 01:10:19,120 Speaker 1: run in strength community, so you can join that, and 1365 01:10:19,160 --> 01:10:22,519 Speaker 1: then I'm yellow Runner on there. My website Salamurka dot com. 1366 01:10:22,520 --> 01:10:25,360 Speaker 1: And then I have an app which you can find 1367 01:10:25,840 --> 01:10:28,160 Speaker 1: in the link of my bio on Instagram. 1368 01:10:28,200 --> 01:10:30,120 Speaker 3: Thank you again, I'm so appreciative. 1369 01:10:30,160 --> 01:10:33,560 Speaker 2: I'm over at Emily a Body and at Hurdle Podcast 1370 01:10:33,600 --> 01:10:35,200 Speaker 2: Another Hurdle Conquered. 1371 01:10:35,560 --> 01:10:36,519 Speaker 3: Catch you guys next time.