Speaker 1: Welcome to get it to Dutch. A screenwriter's journey. I'm marked,
Speaker 1: that's Greg, that's Brendan, for a team of Hollywood screenwriters
Speaker 1: who meet every week to read from original screenplay that
Speaker 1: one of us has written. We give notes, we rank
Speaker 1: the scripts, and at the end of the season, we're
Speaker 1: going to pitch the best script to big time Hollywood
Speaker 1: producer Dutch Huxley, who is dead, so instead we're pitching
Speaker 1: to his son, Duck, who's rumored to be taking over
Speaker 1: his dad's empire at Victory Pictures. WHOA, I have feeling
Speaker 1: great today. Wow, let's get into it. This is my script.
Speaker 2: I cannot wait.
Speaker 3: What is going on? This is a new Mark.
Speaker 4: I'm Brendan. I have to say that or I can't
Speaker 4: do it.
Speaker 2: Here's the deal, guys.
Speaker 1: I have started a new process, a new philosophy, a
Speaker 1: new life journey.
Speaker 3: Oh, a new screenwriting, A new screenwriting process.
Speaker 1: I have not ejaculated in one hundred and forty four hours. WHOA,
Speaker 1: I'm on a semen retention plan and I feel unstoppable.
Speaker 2: Okay, my mind has never been so clear, and that.
Speaker 3: Why the apartment is so clean.
Speaker 2: Well, I was.
Speaker 1: Awake at three point thirty in the morning. I cleaned
Speaker 1: everything up and I sort of fang schwayed it in
Speaker 1: a way. And it's not even something that I read
Speaker 1: in a book. I just felt the energy of the room.
Speaker 4: Buddy. I feel like I'm in a whole new place.
Speaker 2: Doesn't it feel good?
Speaker 4: Curtains are open, there's light in here, the windows are open,
Speaker 4: it's not boiling hot. I'm not sitting on a waste bench.
Speaker 4: I'm sitting on the very nicely new reupholstered chair here.
Speaker 1: I tore down all the posters and I painted what
Speaker 1: I feel inside.
Speaker 2: Look at that. That could be in a museum.
Speaker 4: Buddy, This is unreal.
Speaker 2: That could be in a museum.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it could.
Speaker 2: God damn it. I feel good.
Speaker 3: Was that you up on the roof last night? Because
Speaker 3: the landlord, mister Hartunian, came by and he asked if
Speaker 3: you were running around on the roof and I said,
Speaker 3: I didn't know.
Speaker 1: I'm teaching myself, Parkour. Here's the thing, semen retention. Have
Speaker 1: you ever done it before?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 1: No, it's proven by science. Joe Rogan had a scientist
Speaker 1: on his show. He explained it better than I.
Speaker 2: Rogan scientists, but he he'll tell you.
Speaker 1: I don't want to get into the The proof is
Speaker 1: in the pudding.
Speaker 3: You don't want to get into the science, So there isn't.
Speaker 2: I mean, I could get into the science of it, but.
Speaker 4: You're actually putting. Their proof is in you not making pudding.
Speaker 2: I don't have to putting. The proof is in the putt.
Speaker 3: You're covered in a kind of a gleam listener, he's shining.
Speaker 4: He hasn't. I haven't seen him blink yet.
Speaker 2: My sweat smells sweet. Have you noticed that?
Speaker 3: What's that in the corner?
Speaker 2: It's like, uava.
Speaker 4: Are you trying?
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. You're good.
Speaker 4: You're like crying pre comb or something. It's sticky.
Speaker 1: Get get your fingers out of my eyes, man, get
Speaker 1: your fingers out of my eyes. I can I know
Speaker 1: how to break fingers.
Speaker 3: I know. I'm just going to ask that you talk
Speaker 3: a little bit quieter.
Speaker 2: Has anybody seen so the weight pench is gone?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 4: This chair is amazing.
Speaker 2: I don't I found that in the alley and re
Speaker 2: upholstered it.
Speaker 3: I don't know how I'm gonna work out now.
Speaker 4: It's very comfortable, but I'm very itchy.
Speaker 2: Let's get in a new business. I am. I'm done
Speaker 2: with the intro new business. Brendan got well.
Speaker 4: First off, I want to thank everybody who reached out
Speaker 4: to me last week when I was down about not
Speaker 4: hearing about my callback. I know we haven't released the
Speaker 4: episode yet, but I'm just pre thanking people who are
Speaker 4: probably going to reach out. You're sort of.
Speaker 3: Pre pre coming, you're pre coming of thanks.
Speaker 4: But everything is turned around. Apparently in this town. When
Speaker 4: somebody says they're a big fan, they're a big fan.
Speaker 2: Baby, right, what happened?
Speaker 4: Because I will be network testing hey on Big Wonders.
Speaker 2: Everything is working out. That's great. So you don't hate
Speaker 2: the show.
Speaker 4: No, you know what, I never did. Thought it was
Speaker 4: a brilliant idea. I think going back to what we
Speaker 4: loved as youth is an amazing thing to do. I
Speaker 4: think Small Wonder was a great show. I think Big
Speaker 4: Wonder is going to be an even better show. What
Speaker 4: a great turn of events. Congrats me, Thank you. I
Speaker 4: really can't believe it, and I feel.
Speaker 1: Like I feel like not to steal your thunder. But
Speaker 1: when someone is so positive and emitting such positive vibes,
Speaker 1: that extends out to people in their surroundings, and I
Speaker 1: feel like that's what I'm doing.
Speaker 2: Oh great, go ahead.
Speaker 3: Okay, Al, you don't have to grab my arm so hard.
Speaker 3: So here we go. New business for me. I've been
Speaker 3: hanging out a lot with Ducks, so I'm feeling like
Speaker 3: I'm going to approach him pretty soon about bringing him
Speaker 3: some ideas.
Speaker 2: But haven't haven't sent, haven't pitched him anything yet.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, I don't want to cross the
Speaker 3: I don't want to cross the rubicon quite yet. But
Speaker 3: my face, are you about to come?
Speaker 1: No, I'm wincing because I feel like time is at hand.
Speaker 1: We want to get him something.
Speaker 3: Let's just play this cool. We were out on the
Speaker 3: duck boat this weekend, so that was fun.
Speaker 2: His yacht.
Speaker 3: No, he actually has a duck boat that he bought
Speaker 3: when he was on one of those tours in Boston,
Speaker 3: the ones that go on the land and the sea,
Speaker 3: and he just had it repurposed and now it's kind
Speaker 3: of his private party duck boat. You know, we'll be
Speaker 3: out on the water that we up to a restaurant
Speaker 3: and that's ducks.
Speaker 4: I swear to god, I saw that out in front
Speaker 4: of Spago.
Speaker 3: Yeah, A couple weeks ago. He likes to park it
Speaker 3: on the retention pond behind Spago.
Speaker 4: Wow, that's duck.
Speaker 3: That's duck.
Speaker 1: Speaking of retention, I want to talk more about semen retention.
Speaker 1: And here's what I did this morning. I cranked out
Speaker 1: a new.
Speaker 3: Script and this morning.
Speaker 1: This morning, so I'm on the Marky Mark schedule and
Speaker 1: the Dwayne the Rock diet Johnson diet.
Speaker 3: I think he goes by Mark Wahlberg now.
Speaker 1: Mark Wahlberg, Yeah, And I think the Rock's just he's
Speaker 1: the Rock. So I'm on the Wallberg the Rock, you know,
Speaker 1: schedule diet. I wake up at three point thirty. I
Speaker 1: work out, Okay.
Speaker 3: Yeah, could you keep that down? Honestly?
Speaker 1: I will, so I looked. I lift weights for two hours.
Speaker 1: I eat six hard boiled eggs and a can of sardines.
Speaker 5: Wow.
Speaker 1: I jump right into an hour and a half of
Speaker 1: cardio and core. Okay, eat a farmer's breakfast, then run
Speaker 1: six miles, meditate for an hour. Cool down with third breakfast,
Speaker 1: which is usually tuna fish wrapped in a hamsteak.
Speaker 4: Third breakfast, You're like a jacked up hobbit.
Speaker 2: And then I start writing and I shit out this
Speaker 2: bad dog. Between nine and ten am.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, it's a full script for Yeah.
Speaker 2: Wow, fucking crushed it.
Speaker 3: Holy moly, Well congrats Mark.
Speaker 2: This is great.
Speaker 3: But I thought this week you were gonna I thought
Speaker 3: you were working on my big fat Greek yogurt script
Speaker 3: about the guy who started Chobani.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's back burner for now, maybe forever. I need
Speaker 1: to write my own stories, is what I realized. And
Speaker 1: this one's an erotic thriller. And like I said, I
Speaker 1: cranked it out in under an hour before very down.
Speaker 3: We haven't seen an erotic thriller in a while. They
Speaker 3: feel like they what was the last great erotic thriller?
Speaker 4: Oh? The Avatar? Hmm hmmm, right, would you? You wouldn't
Speaker 4: classify that erotic.
Speaker 5: Thriller, wouldn't call it a thriller.
Speaker 4: You call it erotic though?
Speaker 5: Turned me on.
Speaker 4: God dang.
Speaker 3: The point is it's been a while since there's been
Speaker 3: an erotic thriller. I guess that's the point I was making.
Speaker 1: Ye, Yeah, I think it's due time. So this one
Speaker 1: is called Edge of Desire. It's about a detective with
Speaker 1: a dark past and some very dark secrets who gets
Speaker 1: pulled into an erotic world of thrills.
Speaker 2: Oh, thrills.
Speaker 1: It's a thriller. So let's jump in at page one.
Speaker 1: I don't want to miss a thing. Your parts are
Speaker 1: Mark Brendan, you're on stage.
Speaker 3: Dresser does I don't want to and let's get into it.
Speaker 4: Okay? Is everybody ready?
Speaker 2: Ready? Been ready?
Speaker 5: All right?
Speaker 4: Exterior Houseboat night, sound of a couple in the throes
Speaker 4: of ecstasy echo across the Placid Harbor. Cut two. Interior
Speaker 4: Houseboat continuous from the back, we see Detective Jack long
Speaker 4: finger forties, cool as a polar bears toe now but
Speaker 4: the years are beginning of the show. He sits on
Speaker 4: a folding chair, naked, painfully pleasury on the TV. An
Speaker 4: Italian woman gets pounded from behind by a chubby tweedledee
Speaker 4: as a horse watches. Jack whispers to himself.
Speaker 2: First base bucker, second base, Spirit.
Speaker 4: Around the room, liquor bottles, dirty clothes, A red Sox
Speaker 4: pennant hangs limply over a murphy bed on the fridge.
Speaker 4: A curling photograph of a smiling family and a gorgeous
Speaker 4: blonde woman who holds a baby next to a golden
Speaker 4: retriever and a clean cut man. Could that be Jack
Speaker 4: from the TV?
Speaker 3: The Italian woman mons Benee Bennie Bennee.
Speaker 4: Jack's drenched in sweat. He's getting close.
Speaker 1: Third base bogs short stop.
Speaker 2: I can't, I can't.
Speaker 4: Cut two. Outside the boat, the TV and VCR smashed
Speaker 4: through the porthole and splash into the bay. As the
Speaker 4: VCR sinks into the dark, swirling water, Wei crosses all
Speaker 4: too Interior Police Department, next day, a swirling cup of coffee.
Speaker 4: Jack is at his desk, a cold compress against his head.
Speaker 4: He's clean, but not neat, in a suit and tie.
Speaker 4: He rifles through a drawer and comes up with some aspirin,
Speaker 4: chews violently and chases it with a pull from a flask.
Speaker 4: From off screen, we hear you look like shit, Jack.
Speaker 4: A beautiful secretary Diane. She leans in seductively, cleavage on
Speaker 4: full display.
Speaker 5: Yeah, well, I feel even worse.
Speaker 3: Chief wants to see you cut two.
Speaker 4: Interior Chief's Office, Chief Ron beefeed Er slides a crime
Speaker 4: scene photo of a mutilated naked man's corpse and a
Speaker 4: pool of blood across his desk.
Speaker 3: Billionaire Gerard DeMont. We thought it was a classic stab
Speaker 3: and grab, but nothing was stolen, and when we turned
Speaker 3: him over we found this.
Speaker 4: He points to another photo taps a small metal cage
Speaker 4: strapped to the corpse's genitalia.
Speaker 2: Ah Prince Eddie Trapp, classic Sado massacist. Device keeps your
Speaker 2: cock locked in a little cage so you can't experience
Speaker 2: pleasure unless that's your thing. Looks like this guy had
Speaker 2: more kinks than a garden hose.
Speaker 4: A woman's voice behind Jack, he was a man of
Speaker 4: large appetites. Yes, as the years passed, I wasn't always
Speaker 4: the dish he wanted, but we had a good marriage
Speaker 4: unseen until now. Evelyn Dumont thirty, soft spoken angelic. I
Speaker 4: can't bear the thought that whoever did this is still
Speaker 4: out there.
Speaker 3: I need a good detective on this, and you know
Speaker 3: this world, Jack.
Speaker 5: Not anymore, Chief.
Speaker 2: Besides, I got two weeks until retirement.
Speaker 4: Please. Detective touches his hand tenderly. Jack groans hand away.
Speaker 4: Is everything all right, mister longthing?
Speaker 2: Your hands they're like peaches in a basket.
Speaker 3: We're just asking you to blend in play the part.
Speaker 3: Find out who killed this rich pervert, no offense man,
Speaker 3: find out who did the old fuck in No offense man,
Speaker 3: One last case before you're dick deep down in the
Speaker 3: sand and key largo, no offense, ma'am.
Speaker 4: Evelyn looks at Jack with desperation. Please Jack, I need justice.
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, wow, Yeah, I can't believe you wrote this
Speaker 3: so fast.
Speaker 4: This is amazing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's great.
Speaker 3: This might be the best thing you've ever written.
Speaker 4: Yeah, really great characters.
Speaker 3: I mean wow, So what's the program you're on? You
Speaker 3: don't jerk off at all?
Speaker 2: No, you masturbate all the time. You just don't ejaculate.
Speaker 2: I'm constantly waming it. I just I stop right at
Speaker 2: the tippy top and don't blow.
Speaker 4: It, Tash, How do you do that?
Speaker 1: There's some tricks. Sometimes you have to punch yourself. Sometimes
Speaker 1: you just fucking tense up and you know, grind your teeth.
Speaker 3: Oh that's why I keep hearing you in the showery
Speaker 3: whispering the whole starting lineup of the two thousand and
Speaker 3: one capitals.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's right. You can also take those little stoppers
Speaker 1: from Starbucks and put them in there.
Speaker 4: Oh wow. Okay. Well, I don't know if this is true,
Speaker 4: but I said it to many a lady in my life.
Speaker 4: I've said, if I don't do it, I'm gonna die.
Speaker 4: Is that a real thing?
Speaker 2: It's harassment?
Speaker 4: Oh, not that part about me talking to the girls.
Speaker 4: I'm talking about if if you will die?
Speaker 1: No, I mean, oh my god, you feel more alive
Speaker 1: than you've ever felt. I feel like I'm seeing through
Speaker 1: the sheen of life, another dimension.
Speaker 3: I remember I was. I had a stomach bug one
Speaker 3: week and I didn't do it and I almost went
Speaker 3: white blind.
Speaker 4: Oh man, I can't sleep if I don't take a
Speaker 4: whack on my baby crack.
Speaker 2: Why do you need to sleep?
Speaker 3: Oh? Yeah, good?
Speaker 2: Why do you need to well?
Speaker 4: Because I get tired a lot.
Speaker 2: I'm asleep at one thirty, awake at three thirty.
Speaker 4: Oh.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm on the limitless drug. Have you
Speaker 1: ever had an out of body experience?
Speaker 3: Yeah? But just once on the duck boat last weekend?
Speaker 2: Is that his main means of transportation these days?
Speaker 4: It is huh for the listeners. Mark is doing full
Speaker 4: squats right now. It's pretty impressive.
Speaker 1: Wow, all right, just head. It just kind of snap
Speaker 1: my spine a little. I don't need to go to
Speaker 1: the chiropractor anymore. I can do it myself.
Speaker 3: Did you go before?
Speaker 2: I used to go all the time back was all
Speaker 2: jacked up. Actually, this is science.
Speaker 1: Semen is sort of fluid for your spine, so if
Speaker 1: you get rid of it too much, it'll hurt your back.
Speaker 4: Oh is that why my posture is so bad?
Speaker 3: Yeah, you keep saying science, What is the science the science.
Speaker 2: Of what of semen? Retention? Look it up, man, don't
Speaker 2: take my word for it. Look it up. I'm not
Speaker 2: doing your research for you.
Speaker 4: But it's on a lot of websites, but retention spelled
Speaker 4: wrong on all of them.
Speaker 1: Here here's a little advice for you. Do it yourself.
Speaker 1: Don't take my word for it. Be your own leader.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's go out next scene. Fuck all right?
Speaker 1: So here it is. Evelyn is asking Jack for justice.
Speaker 1: She's calling on him to be his best self. I
Speaker 1: know what that feels like in Jack's learning. But to
Speaker 1: get there, he has to journey into the city's dark
Speaker 1: sexual underground and risk getting lost in his own dangerous
Speaker 1: sexual desires. And so the prime suspect in the murder
Speaker 1: of Evelyn's husband is Sarah Fina Heartgrave. She's the madam
Speaker 1: at the city's most notorious underground sex club, and she
Speaker 1: is hot. She is just everything that Jack wants but
Speaker 1: shouldn't have. And as Jack is investigating, he's getting pulled
Speaker 1: further and further back into his old life of risky
Speaker 1: and risk a sexual deviance. Everyone is telling Jack, you know,
Speaker 1: slow down, be careful, don't get too close. So that's
Speaker 1: that's kind of.
Speaker 2: Where we are right now.
Speaker 1: So I want to jump to the scene where Sarah
Speaker 1: Fina shows up unexpected on Jack's houseboat and for the
Speaker 1: first time, takes Jack right to the edge.
Speaker 2: And this this is on page forty five.
Speaker 4: All right, I got it. Okay, Here we are interior
Speaker 4: Jack's house boat.
Speaker 5: Night.
Speaker 4: Jack is shirtless and sweaty, and he works a speed
Speaker 4: bag with focused intensity. He jumps rope faster and faster
Speaker 4: and faster. He's going as hard as he can. He's
Speaker 4: on a row machine, working himself into a lather, a
Speaker 4: man running from himself. He's doing those push ups where
Speaker 4: you jump with your hands and clap when you're at
Speaker 4: the top.
Speaker 5: Then there's a knock at the door.
Speaker 2: One second, I sit one, God damn.
Speaker 4: He opens the door. Saraphina's standing there in a trench coat.
Speaker 4: She looks him up and down, a heaving, pulsing we man.
Speaker 4: He's chiseled from stone. Her tongue touches the front of
Speaker 4: her teeth.
Speaker 1: Yeah, hold on, hold on, hold on, we're uh, we're
Speaker 1: heading into rough seas here, all right, so let me better.
Speaker 1: Let Papa take the wheel here, Brenda, okay, all right, okay, Papa,
Speaker 1: all right, I'll take the stage direction.
Speaker 2: It needs a little goose.
Speaker 5: Okay.
Speaker 2: He opens the door. Sarah finis standing near with a
Speaker 2: trench coat. She looks him up and down, a heaving,
Speaker 2: pulsing wet man chiseled from stone. Her tongue touches her
Speaker 2: front teeth.
Speaker 3: Oh mind, if I come inside?
Speaker 2: She brushes past him. He looks into the darkness to
Speaker 2: make sure they're all alone, then shuts the door. She
Speaker 2: takes off her shoes, then pours herself a drink. She
Speaker 2: looks at the picture of his family on the fridge,
Speaker 2: then peels it off and drops it into the roaring fire.
Speaker 2: What are you doing here?
Speaker 3: I found something the phone records you were looking for.
Speaker 3: Figured i'd bring it to you myself. You can't trust
Speaker 3: anyone these days.
Speaker 2: The eyes are closely I'll have the guys run it tomorrow.
Speaker 2: You shouldn't be here.
Speaker 3: It's too risky, risky for who Jack.
Speaker 2: She draws a line down his chest with her finger.
Speaker 2: He inhales her scent for both of us. She presses
Speaker 2: herself closer to him, drawing her lips near his.
Speaker 3: Don't you want me to stay?
Speaker 2: That's the problem. She slowly pulls the draw string on
Speaker 2: her trench coat until it falls open, revealing that she's
Speaker 2: completely naked underneath. She puts her arms around him and
Speaker 2: gets closer while he stays rigidly still. She opens her
Speaker 2: lips and reaches for his mouth, gently biting his lower lip.
Speaker 5: He pulls away.
Speaker 2: I can't If I go too far, I would kill
Speaker 2: us both.
Speaker 3: That sounds like a good time to me.
Speaker 2: You don't understand. I have explosives in my balls.
Speaker 3: Then let's light the match.
Speaker 2: You don't get it.
Speaker 1: There's enough actual C four implanted in my hangars to
Speaker 1: blow this boat out of the water if I ever
Speaker 1: finish cboo.
Speaker 2: She takes this in.
Speaker 3: Then I'm not looking to die, jack, but I do
Speaker 3: like to play.
Speaker 2: She steps closer to him, then lets her trench coat
Speaker 2: fall to the on the edge. She wraps her arms
Speaker 2: around him. He can't take it any longer.
Speaker 1: He grabs her and lifts her onto him, then turns
Speaker 1: and presses her back against the wall. He grinds against
Speaker 1: her as she exposes her throat to.
Speaker 2: His hungry lips. He takes her neck in his mouth,
Speaker 2: and she lets out a moan of deep and lustful surrender.
Speaker 2: She hooks his jim shorts with her toes and drops
Speaker 2: them to the floor, then wraps her legs around his
Speaker 2: waist and pulls him inside of her. He grunts from
Speaker 2: somewhere deep, primal animal drive surging to the surface. A
Speaker 2: wolfish gleam flashes across his eyes. He throws her on
Speaker 2: the bed and enters her again. She digs her long,
Speaker 2: sharp nails deep into his back, drawing blood.
Speaker 6: He growls like a dog and drives harder, harder, harder,
Speaker 6: until she's the one wailing with sinful delight.
Speaker 1: Outside the houseboat rocks steadily, causing the adjacent boats to
Speaker 1: sway in its wake. He's standing behind her, now, pressing
Speaker 1: her flat against the wall. She lets him take control.
Speaker 2: His hand wraps around her throat, and her eyes roll
Speaker 2: back in her head. He lets her go as she
Speaker 2: gasps her breath exhilarated, He falls onto the bed and
Speaker 2: she straddles him, sliding onto him, then pounding him with
Speaker 2: her full body weight.
Speaker 7: She goes faster, and faster and faster still until go slow,
Speaker 7: go slow. She goes faster and coaxes him, demanding the
Speaker 7: ultimate finality.
Speaker 3: To it, Jack, don't fight it anymore.
Speaker 5: You know how bad you want it.
Speaker 2: Jack pushes her off and onto the floor.
Speaker 6: He leaps to his feet, clenches his whole body, and
Speaker 6: lets out a guttural scream. He spins and rips his
Speaker 6: brand new TV VCR combo from the wall and smashes
Speaker 6: it to the floor.
Speaker 2: Are you crazy? Do you want me to die?
Speaker 5: She smiles.
Speaker 2: Riley then collects herself, pulling on her trench.
Speaker 3: Coat and shoes right to the edge. That was incredible.
Speaker 2: Good out.
Speaker 3: You know where to find me, detective.
Speaker 2: She opens the door and disappears into the night. Jack
Speaker 2: drops to his knees, naked and panting, a pounding, gnawing
Speaker 2: frustration aching to explode out of him. Jack screams, and
Speaker 2: it echoes across the silent harbor.
Speaker 3: Yeah, thank god Brendan didn't read that. Oh hell yeah, god, wow,
Speaker 3: belly hurts.
Speaker 2: Wow, this is.
Speaker 3: Really yeah right, the tents. You should write eratic fiction.
Speaker 2: That was just just fucking did man?
Speaker 4: Hell yeah, I think I might be dang should we
Speaker 4: take a break, Yeah I can. I'm gonna need whoa,
Speaker 4: let's take ten.
Speaker 2: You guys need some waters?
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, but could you guys get out of my
Speaker 3: room for a second.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do some push ups.
Speaker 4: He's gonna kind of hunk over and slowly walk out
Speaker 4: of here. I'm bent over because my back hurt's.
Speaker 2: Anybody want a arm wrestle?
Speaker 3: No, So he has C four in his balls? Hell yeah, okay,
Speaker 3: how'd that happen?
Speaker 2: And that fucking cool?
Speaker 3: But how that happened?
Speaker 2: Fucking cool? Is that?
Speaker 1: So if he comes to fucking explode everything for a
Speaker 1: block radius.
Speaker 4: Hey guys, I'm back.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, it is pretty fucking cool. So here's the
Speaker 1: backstory on how that asks?
Speaker 2: Right, right, very tired.
Speaker 1: So he fucked over the wrong guys at one of
Speaker 1: these sex clubs, and again it's it's a place where
Speaker 1: like all the power brokers are entangled by mayors, senators.
Speaker 3: Judges, got it.
Speaker 1: So Jack gets caught up and they drag him into
Speaker 1: a basement like a sort of dingy dungeon that's in
Speaker 1: the bottom of one of these clubs. Okay, they strap
Speaker 1: him down to what looks like some old medieval torture
Speaker 1: table and they surgically implant explosives into his nuts and
Speaker 1: that was the last time he ever ejaculated, which is
Speaker 1: the best thing that ever happened to him.
Speaker 4: Wow, unbelievable. This yeah pretty amazing.
Speaker 3: Fuck yeah, it is seems like it's really working for you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Hey, Mark, if I write some stuff down and
Speaker 4: have you kind of like talk in that voice, you
Speaker 4: think you could record something.
Speaker 1: For me while we move on to the next scene
Speaker 1: and we can talk about you know, semen retention at
Speaker 1: the end.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, great.
Speaker 1: I'm happy to talk about it. I just feel like,
Speaker 1: let's keep this ball rolling.
Speaker 2: God, I have a headache because this this train is
Speaker 2: running full steam.
Speaker 4: Uh, your toilet might be backed up a little bit.
Speaker 2: Pick up where we left off.
Speaker 4: Looks like the Raiders of the Lost Dark, all those
Speaker 4: ghosts swirling around in there. Too much toilet paper. All right,
Speaker 4: let's see.
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's get yeah, let's get right right.
Speaker 4: Andnot wait to get into this thing. Let's do it,
Speaker 4: I mean of that. Okay, Uh, what is next? Let's see?
Speaker 4: Oh this is a montage great in tiar houseboat dawn
Speaker 4: Jack wakes up before the sun stripped naked and dies
Speaker 4: off the roof of his houseboat into the harbor. Time
Speaker 4: laps we see him swim the harbor for an hour
Speaker 4: before pulling himself onto the bow of his boat and
Speaker 4: then immediately crushing fifty burpies, no questions asked. Cut too
Speaker 4: exterior street day, busy streets of Los Angeles, but not
Speaker 4: for a long finger which squinted unblinking eyes. He shifts
Speaker 4: sufficiently up and down and up and down and up,
Speaker 4: weaving in and out of traffic like a Formula one racer,
Speaker 4: cold and precise, never missing a chance to jump ahead
Speaker 4: of the dawdling cars. Cut two exterior skyscraper drone footage.
Speaker 4: Night Jack is free climbing a massive building, breathing evenly,
Speaker 4: eyes focus methodically alternating arm and leg all the way
Speaker 4: off the building until he reaches the summit and immediately
Speaker 4: crushes fifty burpies, barely breaking a swim. He surveys the
Speaker 4: city below him, clenches his entire body, and lets add
Speaker 4: a primal screen.
Speaker 3: Okay, so what the fuck is happening now? I feel
Speaker 3: like we really departed from all the fun, Like.
Speaker 4: Cool, where's the part where he's bonking girls?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I mean you can't do that the whole. I mean,
Speaker 2: this is just the part of him.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to show that he's he's unstoppable, like he's.
Speaker 3: But from a genre perspective, I was kind of expecting
Speaker 3: to seem like, you know, fall apart, and then he
Speaker 3: falls deeper into the old addictions and habits and more
Speaker 3: sex scenes. Yeah, this is like reading like a superhero movie.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean that's because that's how you feel like
Speaker 1: I did. I tell you I can kick the ceiling,
Speaker 1: like I can. I can plant the bottom of my
Speaker 1: foot directly on the ceiling.
Speaker 2: I doubt that that's true.
Speaker 3: Let's see.
Speaker 2: I will show you, honestly. Listen. I know how to
Speaker 2: listen to this. I know how to reset a dislocated shoulder.
Speaker 3: Do the ceiling.
Speaker 2: Let me let me dislok at your shoulder and I'll
Speaker 2: show you how to put it back.
Speaker 3: I want to see the ceiling barely hurts.
Speaker 2: Just do it.
Speaker 3: You can't say it's something like I can kick the
Speaker 3: ceiling and then not do it.
Speaker 2: Okay, you want to see it?
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, not even close.
Speaker 2: Well I'm not. I'm not gonna I don't want to
Speaker 2: mark the ceiling.
Speaker 1: But I mean I can get up. I basically backflip
Speaker 1: and run on the ceiling.
Speaker 2: Did it? I did it last night.
Speaker 4: Let me try.
Speaker 2: No, dude, you do not want to do it. I
Speaker 2: can lift the fridge.
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm doing my own dental work. I can speed
Speaker 1: read now. I went to the library yesterday and sped
Speaker 1: red every single Edcyclopedia speed red.
Speaker 3: It's like blow dry. You don't say blue dried.
Speaker 2: Say whatever you want. The truth is in there.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm like downloading gobs of information like I'm the Matrix.
Speaker 2: I'm basically the Internet.
Speaker 4: Okay, we believe you can.
Speaker 3: We just get to the parts, like the fun cool parts.
Speaker 2: These are fun cool parts.
Speaker 3: They're just what do you want?
Speaker 2: What more do you want?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: The erotic thriller. I'm getting a little you know, titchy,
Speaker 3: because that's why you read a.
Speaker 1: Script, learn to harness that discomfort. That's that's where you
Speaker 1: change your life. But that's fine, that's fine. We'll calm
Speaker 1: it down. We'll go to the end because I think
Speaker 1: you'll see that it wraps up in a very tidy
Speaker 1: and satisfying way.
Speaker 3: If you keep up with this program, you're going to
Speaker 3: be dragging your balls like Dick Van Dyke.
Speaker 2: The hell I am will hell no, all right, So
Speaker 2: here we go.
Speaker 1: Jack is in relationship with Sarah Fina and he's also
Speaker 1: started a relationship with Evelyn.
Speaker 2: You'll like that.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah.
Speaker 1: So there's this secret love triangle happening. And in the end,
Speaker 1: he and Evelyn decide they're going to take the husband's
Speaker 1: money and they're going to escape together. So we pick
Speaker 1: it up on the cliff's edge at the meetup spot
Speaker 1: page one oh four.
Speaker 4: Please stop staring at me like that.
Speaker 2: I know how to fix you, bro.
Speaker 3: Oh man, you haven't blinked since we started this.
Speaker 2: Don't need to anymore, all right.
Speaker 4: Exterior Malibu Cliff sunset. Jack stands on the edge of
Speaker 4: a cliff, staring out into the ocean. The seed crashes
Speaker 4: against rocks below. Jack wonders if he has time to
Speaker 4: let out a primal scream. When Jack he startles, almost
Speaker 4: losing his balance. Evelyn is standing there, looking more beautiful
Speaker 4: and helpless than we've ever seen her. She needs someone
Speaker 4: to save her, and Jack hopes the hell he's.
Speaker 2: Got what it takes to do it.
Speaker 5: You're laid it, you have it.
Speaker 4: He hands her a mini DV taped smudge with blood.
Speaker 4: She looks at it, then throws it over the cliff's edge.
Speaker 4: It clatters on the rocks below.
Speaker 5: The money in my account.
Speaker 4: He moves to kiss her, but she pulls away.
Speaker 5: What's wrong?
Speaker 4: You killed my husband, Jack?
Speaker 5: What are you talking about?
Speaker 4: And that's what the police think?
Speaker 5: Bullshit?
Speaker 4: You killed him because he put explosives in your balls.
Speaker 4: It's the perfect revenge story.
Speaker 5: And you're in love with me.
Speaker 4: So you did it for the money too.
Speaker 5: You snake. You sold me out.
Speaker 3: We had to.
Speaker 4: Sarafina steps out from the shadows and puts her arms
Speaker 4: around Evelyn. They kiss deeply.
Speaker 3: I ought to kill you both, I don't think so.
Speaker 4: Sarafina takes a gun from her coat and points it
Speaker 4: at him. The air with noise, wind whips up as
Speaker 4: a helicopter rises above the cliff and lands next to them.
Speaker 4: Evelyn and Saraphina back towards a gun still pointed at Jack.
Speaker 4: Evelyn breaks away and runs to Jack before I go,
Speaker 4: there's something you should know. You don't have explosives in
Speaker 4: your balls.
Speaker 2: What the hell are you talking about?
Speaker 4: I was there in the dungeon. We're back in the dungeon.
Speaker 4: Jack's on a stone table, writhing as a mask man
Speaker 4: looms over him with the knife. Evelyn in the corner, masked,
Speaker 4: watching the scene.
Speaker 5: I know what happened. They cut me open.
Speaker 4: You were hypnotized, what you felt was in your mind
Speaker 4: or in a crummy stock room. Jack's on a cot.
Speaker 4: A balding therapist waves a pocket watch in front of
Speaker 4: his face as Jack screams. Evelyn watches from the corner.
Speaker 4: We're back on the cliff.
Speaker 5: I had a family, and you live.
Speaker 8: On the edge.
Speaker 2: Jack.
Speaker 4: People are bound to fall off. See He licks his
Speaker 4: cheek and then turns and runs to the helicopter. It
Speaker 4: lifts off. Jack watch them disappear into the sunset. The
Speaker 4: breeze from the Pacific rustles his hair. He turns and sprints.
Speaker 4: Exterior Jack's houseboat night a full moon. The houseboat bobs
Speaker 4: in the tranquil waters on the horizon. A fleet of
Speaker 4: police boats sprint over the waves, and the lead boat, Beefeater,
Speaker 4: swints against the salt water spray.
Speaker 3: Two minutes to contact guns out.
Speaker 4: Safety is off Exterior Jack's houseboat. From inside, we hear moans.
Speaker 4: The Italian woman from the movie in the beginning ries out.
Speaker 3: Then a mannee mane.
Speaker 4: From above, we see the speedboats closing in circling the houseboat.
Speaker 4: Then ariva, the houseboat explodes. A geyser of water shoots
Speaker 4: into the air, an endless plume of smoke and debris,
Speaker 4: a terrifying coda on one man's violent symphony. As the
Speaker 4: boat parks continue to rain down on the harbor, you
Speaker 4: see the words and loving memory of Detective Jack long
Speaker 4: Finger fade out the end.
Speaker 8: Okay, so hold on, hold on, hold on, just just
Speaker 8: feel it for a minute. Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, fucking great.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, great.
Speaker 3: This was based on a true.
Speaker 4: Story, loving memory of Jack long Fingers.
Speaker 2: No, No, I mean that's just I got attached to
Speaker 2: the character and wanted to trying to give him a
Speaker 2: proper send off.
Speaker 3: So he finally jerked off, did he?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 4: Yeah, the exploded he was watching the Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well not necessarily.
Speaker 3: Well what blew up the boat?
Speaker 2: Explosives?
Speaker 3: Probably so his balls didn't have explosives, but the boat
Speaker 3: does blow up at the end.
Speaker 1: Is that your interpretation. I'm not going to tell you
Speaker 1: how to interpret art. The thing is, he's he exploded.
Speaker 4: We know that he was watching the movie from the beginning,
Speaker 4: and you right, what was there something else at play
Speaker 4: here that I'm missing.
Speaker 1: I mean, maybe it's part of a wider conspiracy. It's
Speaker 1: up to the viewer, right, Maybe the levers of power
Speaker 1: were tracking him this whole time and new to the
Speaker 1: if if he was allowed to continue in this way,
Speaker 1: that that he'd blow the thing wide open.
Speaker 2: Mark, Maybe he would.
Speaker 1: He he'd expose everybody that was wrapped up in this thing.
Speaker 1: And it's a metaphor for absolute power. Have we given
Speaker 1: away too much power? If we don't take it for ourselves,
Speaker 1: then we're just lemmings. We're conditioned right from the start.
Speaker 1: Anybody can come along and tell us what to do.
Speaker 4: Okay, sit down, Well this is important.
Speaker 2: Are you you should? You should listen to this?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm listening. Don't pull my ear. I can hear.
Speaker 2: Listen to what I'm saying.
Speaker 4: I hear it.
Speaker 2: This is a very clear thought.
Speaker 1: It's a very uh accurate depiction of what happens in
Speaker 1: everyday life with the levers of power.
Speaker 2: Are you listening?
Speaker 3: Don't point your so close to my face?
Speaker 2: All right? Don't you know what to tell with it?
Speaker 2: Fuck it all?
Speaker 3: Fuck it all?
Speaker 2: You see? Do you see what I'm does? Any of this?
Speaker 2: Am I too far out over my skis on this one.
Speaker 4: I don't what Mark. I think it's time you go
Speaker 4: and you walk.
Speaker 3: The dog, take the old dolphin on a jog.
Speaker 4: Let the queen out on the balcony so she can
Speaker 4: meet the people.
Speaker 3: Raise the flag and bring it back down again, Fold
Speaker 3: it up in a nice little box, put it on
Speaker 3: a grave.
Speaker 2: Yeah, man, okay, okay, I'll go nobody, nobody eat my crackers.
Speaker 3: There he goes to Jim jan the slum.
Speaker 5: Jim, hand me those crackers.
Speaker 3: Shower on. Yeah, classic mid afternoon shower.
Speaker 4: Oh man, well it looks like finally a little Greg
Speaker 4: and Brendan time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is fun.
Speaker 4: Do you want to rate the screw?
Speaker 3: We hear a primal scream coming from there. I think
Speaker 3: we'll know exactly.
Speaker 2: It is.
Speaker 4: I don't think that drink can handle what's coming down
Speaker 4: in Ah.
Speaker 3: Well, I don't want to call the landlord about that.
Speaker 3: I guess I was already mad that Mark was running
Speaker 3: around on the roof.
Speaker 5: Yeah, god, dang man, Well.
Speaker 3: Why don't you take us out, Brendan before Mark comes
Speaker 3: back and says something insane.
Speaker 2: All right, it's done.
Speaker 3: Oh god, did you fall down in there?
Speaker 8: No?
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I slipped out of the bath and I
Speaker 2: chip my tooth on the sink.
Speaker 3: Unless you could do your dental work now.
Speaker 5: Ah, not right now.
Speaker 4: Oh no, we forgot that part. The Queen has met
Speaker 4: the people, he is out.
Speaker 3: Can you put a towel over that?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Okay, lights, camera action, but for writing. See you next week.