Speaker 1: Hey fam, Hello Sunshine. Today on the bright Side, learn
Speaker 1: the science back secrets to lift your mood and boost
Speaker 1: your happiness. It's Wellness Wednesday, and happiness expert Karen Guggenheim
Speaker 1: is here to share the simple yet powerful steps you
Speaker 1: can take even when life feels overwhelming, plus the number
Speaker 1: one action you can start today to create more happiness
Speaker 1: in your life. It's Wednesday, September eleventh. I'm Danielle Robe.
Speaker 2: And I'm Simone Boyce and this is the bright Side
Speaker 2: from Hello Sunshine, a daily show where we come together
Speaker 2: to share women's stories, laugh, learn and brighten your day.
Speaker 2: Today's Wellness Wednesday is presented by Coliguard.
Speaker 1: So today, before we dive into our show about happiness,
Speaker 1: I think let's all take a small pause to remember
Speaker 1: the events of September eleventh, a day that forever changed
Speaker 1: things for us as Americans. I know I was personally
Speaker 1: changed by it. It's a day etched in our collective memory,
Speaker 1: reminding us of profound loss and unimaginable courage and the
Speaker 1: resilience of the human spirit. And as we honor the
Speaker 1: lives that were lost and those who bravely stepped up
Speaker 1: in the face of tragedy. We also reflect on how
Speaker 1: moments like these shape us. I think they remind us
Speaker 1: of the importance of community and kindness and finding light
Speaker 1: even in the darkest of times.
Speaker 2: I think we can all remember where we were when
Speaker 2: we saw the towers get hit, and I was in
Speaker 2: middle school at the time. I was in class and
Speaker 2: I can vividly remember watching it with all of my classmates.
Speaker 2: And I think something shifted in me that day too, Danielle,
Speaker 2: I think that moment really galvanized my resolve to become
Speaker 2: a journalist one day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that makes so much sense, because in the aftermath
Speaker 1: of seismic moments like that, we all are searching for
Speaker 1: ways to heal and to rediscover joy. Really, so today
Speaker 1: we'll be exploring how happiness and well being can not
Speaker 1: only exist alongside hardship, but also grow from it. We've
Speaker 1: talked about happiness on this show a few times and
Speaker 1: in different ways. I think my favorite idea about it
Speaker 1: is that happiness is.
Speaker 3: A muscle, not a mindset.
Speaker 1: But we've also joked about happiness, right We've talked about
Speaker 1: sitting in your car for a few minutes to look
Speaker 1: after yourself, or of course, the importance of touching grass.
Speaker 2: It really works. I will say that it really does work,
Speaker 2: you know, Danielle. The older I get, the less I know.
Speaker 2: But one thing I'm totally sure of is that I
Speaker 2: need nature in my life every day to stay happy.
Speaker 2: I think even just like a little bit of nature,
Speaker 2: a little encounter with nature can do wonders for your
Speaker 2: mood and wellbeing. For instance, there's this study I came
Speaker 2: across that showed that patients who had plants and flowers
Speaker 2: in their hospital rooms had way shorter stays in the hospital,
Speaker 2: used fewer pain meds, and felt less pain, anxiety, and fatigue.
Speaker 2: So it's in the science. It really really works. It's
Speaker 2: incredible just how having a piece of nature, even removed
Speaker 2: from its environment in your perspective can really change everything.
Speaker 1: That's the gorpcore and you Simone, I love it.
Speaker 3: It's true. Okay.
Speaker 1: I have two things that bring me a ton of happiness,
Speaker 1: quick little things. The first one, please guess, three guests
Speaker 1: is the first one doesn't count?
Speaker 3: What do you think it is? Sleep? Yes?
Speaker 1: I really feel like sleep is a game changer. And
Speaker 1: I don't mean it just as a joke as a
Speaker 1: sleepy girl. I think if you feel like quitting something,
Speaker 1: if you're crying, if if anything, like, the first question
Speaker 1: should be am I exhausted or is this a real feeling?
Speaker 1: For me?
Speaker 3: It's usually exhaustion.
Speaker 1: But the second thing that brings me happiness that I've
Speaker 1: noticed mostly in my adult life is girlfriends. And I
Speaker 1: don't mean that in a trite way, Like I have
Speaker 1: two girlfriends from college that live in la and we
Speaker 1: try and see each other at least every two or
Speaker 1: three weeks, and we just giggle. We laugh so hard,
Speaker 1: and no matter what any of us is going through,
Speaker 1: like if it's a breakup or a parent is sick
Speaker 1: or anything, just giggling with old friends brings so much
Speaker 1: serotonin to your brain.
Speaker 2: This is honestly a huge requirement for me when I'm
Speaker 2: thinking about, Okay, who do I want to hang out with?
Speaker 3: If we're not laughing, I'm.
Speaker 2: Sorry, we're not ry hanging out, or at least I'm
Speaker 2: not seeing you that often because I got enough of my.
Speaker 3: Life that I'm not laughing about.
Speaker 2: Like when I'm with my friends and taking the time
Speaker 2: to do that, I need to laugh.
Speaker 1: One thousand percent. And you know, the word happiness can
Speaker 1: sometimes feel abstract. It's like, how do we even get there,
Speaker 1: especially when happiness feels out of reach. And so today
Speaker 1: we're breaking down and offering science backsteps to find the
Speaker 1: happiness that we all deserve.
Speaker 2: Our guest today is a true pioneer in the global
Speaker 2: happiness movement and a leader in promoting the science behind
Speaker 2: happiness and well being. Her name is Karen Guggenheim, and
Speaker 2: she's the co founder of the World Happiness Summit. It's
Speaker 2: this conference that brings together experts from around the world
Speaker 2: to explore the science behind happiness and also learn about
Speaker 2: practical tools to help increase well being in all areas
Speaker 2: of life.
Speaker 3: She's also the.
Speaker 2: Founder of the World Wellbeing Policy Forum and the CEO
Speaker 2: of the well being platform WILLHASU, which organizes both the
Speaker 2: Forum and the World Happiness Summit.
Speaker 1: And while all of that is incredibly impressive and important
Speaker 1: to me, it's her personal story that's the most inspiring,
Speaker 1: because she experienced devastating loss in twenty thirteen and it
Speaker 1: was that loss, that seismic moment that kickstarted what she
Speaker 1: calls her intentional happiness journey.
Speaker 2: Her debut book is coming out next month. It's called
Speaker 2: Cultivating Happiness, and it's a practical and accessible guide to
Speaker 2: dealing with adversity and leading more fulfilled and purposeful lives. Well,
Speaker 2: Karen is here with us. Now let's go ahead and
Speaker 2: bring her in. Welcome to the bright side.
Speaker 3: Hi everybody, how are you?
Speaker 2: We are here to talk all about happiness and how
Speaker 2: we can all cultivate it in our own lives. And
Speaker 2: I want to take a moment to talk about how
Speaker 2: you define happiness not as an emotion necessarily, but more
Speaker 2: as a skill. How did you arrive there at that belief?
Speaker 3: Well, let me tell you first how I arrived at it,
Speaker 3: and then what my definition is. So actually my happiness
Speaker 3: journey was bumpy, and the origin it really is with
Speaker 3: unhappiness and actually loss. So eleven years ago I lost
Speaker 3: my husband. He died suddenly from the flu, believe it
Speaker 3: or not, before COVID, when I guess it was huge
Speaker 3: shocker that people actually die from the flu. You know,
Speaker 3: At first it was total heartbreak, and I wanted to
Speaker 3: shut off to life and I didn't really want to
Speaker 3: live anymore, and nothing was ever going to be good again.
Speaker 3: I wanted to just go inward, and then I remembered
Speaker 3: I had children, and then I decided that I had
Speaker 3: to live for my kids and if I was going
Speaker 3: to live. I made that decision that I was going
Speaker 3: to live happy, and I didn't know what that looked like.
Speaker 3: I did understand that it wasn't going to be continual
Speaker 3: joyful feelings, but that I would be able to enjoy
Speaker 3: life again, be fully alive again, and so I made
Speaker 3: that choice to be happy. And my journey was through
Speaker 3: purpose and meaning. And the first step actually was understanding
Speaker 3: that it was going to hurt. So I had to
Speaker 3: walk into the pain, walk into the fire with the
Speaker 3: hope that it was going to be okay afterwards and
Speaker 3: I would be able to heal. And so my definition
Speaker 3: of happiness is more about you know, wellbeing, So looking
Speaker 3: at the different elements and dimensions of well being that
Speaker 3: when you cultivate and work on naturally makes more opportunities
Speaker 3: to feel positive emotions. So everybody loves joy, loves positive emotion,
Speaker 3: but sometimes life happens and that can be either disappointing
Speaker 3: and makes you angry, painful, et cetera. And it's so
Speaker 3: important to feel those feelings. But through working on our relationships,
Speaker 3: our physical body, our careers or a financial well being,
Speaker 3: the community as well, and giving to others. So those
Speaker 3: are the ways that I build my happiness. So four
Speaker 3: months after he died, I was getting an NBA George
Speaker 3: Son University. And when I found out that there was
Speaker 3: a science to this and there are steps to it
Speaker 3: and frameworks to become happier, I wanted as many people
Speaker 3: as possible to know that, to learn from that. And
Speaker 3: so I get to have an event and an organization
Speaker 3: and a community that largely lives up to the legacy
Speaker 3: of who my husband was. He was a very kind man,
Speaker 3: he was a scientist. So it's teaching people how to
Speaker 3: become happier from a data driven perspective. I feel that
Speaker 3: I carry his legacy. It was bad enough that he
Speaker 3: died and he didn't get to see his children grow up,
Speaker 3: and I wasn't going to have his whole legacy be
Speaker 3: pain and loss because I could do something about that.
Speaker 3: And in that feeling, in that sense of empowerment and
Speaker 3: agency that I could do something about it, that was
Speaker 3: such a driving force to my healing and then to
Speaker 3: the work that I do today.
Speaker 2: Do you remember the first day that you started to
Speaker 2: feel happiness again after the loss of your husband.
Speaker 3: I can tell you that I remember about eleven ish
Speaker 3: months after he died, and I was with my cohort
Speaker 3: at Georgetown and somebody said a joke and I was
Speaker 3: like analyzing me, and I was saying, that's really funny,
Speaker 3: But does a widow laugh It's been eleven months? Is
Speaker 3: it the right time to laugh? Should I wait for
Speaker 3: a year to laugh? Like I'm having this whole inner conversation, right,
Speaker 3: And then I said, you know, in the same way,
Speaker 3: that is very important not to negate my feelings around
Speaker 3: pain and not to sugarcoat something or go into like
Speaker 3: toxic positivity. It's also authentic that in this moment, I
Speaker 3: find this funny and I'm gonna laugh. And I gave
Speaker 3: myself permission to laugh and to break stereotypes and to like, okay,
Speaker 3: widows laugh and then sometimes I cry. But that was
Speaker 3: about the first time that I really like, yeah, I'm
Speaker 3: gonna laugh, I'm gonna let it flow.
Speaker 1: You know, that's really beautiful When you look back on
Speaker 1: that time, I know you're about practical steps. What was
Speaker 1: something that you did that really made a difference.
Speaker 3: First going to Georgetown and deciding to live and to
Speaker 3: do something about it and to retrain. I had to
Speaker 3: retrain I also wanted to meet people because I knew
Speaker 3: that social connection was so important, and then of course
Speaker 3: dedicating my life to promoting well being at scale through
Speaker 3: the world happiness. It was like the most impactful thing
Speaker 3: for myself personally that I was able to do, because
Speaker 3: in helping others, I heal myself. And also a really
Speaker 3: important part, I think is the narratives that we tell
Speaker 3: ourselves about ourselves and who we are in our lives.
Speaker 3: And so I knew that I didn't want to be
Speaker 3: a victim. I wanted to be a hero of my life,
Speaker 3: and so I purposefully did not spend time in the
Speaker 3: victim role. Why me, you know, why so young? What
Speaker 3: if I would have taken him to a different hospital,
Speaker 3: et cetera, et cetera. So I just went into what
Speaker 3: can I control? What is positive, what's constructive? And I
Speaker 3: think it's so important to tap into your strengths, and
Speaker 3: so some of my strengths are curiosity and encourage. So
Speaker 3: a lot of people know about post traumatic stress disorder,
Speaker 3: but there's another concept, which is post traumatic growth. It
Speaker 3: is going through the trauma and you know the challenge
Speaker 3: and you grow from the experience. You don't bypass the pain,
Speaker 3: but you grow from and so that's what happened to me,
Speaker 3: you know, after feeling this incredible amount of pain. Because
Speaker 3: by the way, for those of you who are listening
Speaker 3: to this and our moms, when you see your kids
Speaker 3: in pain, that takes it to a whole new level.
Speaker 3: And so to see my children suffer, and there's nothing
Speaker 3: that I could do except hold space for them because
Speaker 3: I couldn't bring their father back. Obviously, there was a
Speaker 3: lot of pain and a lot of loss, but a
Speaker 3: lot of transformation because I didn't attach to the pain.
Speaker 3: I just let the pain go through me whichever many
Speaker 3: times it was going to go through me like waves,
Speaker 3: and I accepted the feelings and like go of the feelings.
Speaker 3: And I think it's super important to go through the
Speaker 3: loss and the feelings of that and the grief and
Speaker 3: then let it go so that you can have fertile
Speaker 3: ground for your own happiness.
Speaker 2: This conversation is so bright side. I love the contrast
Speaker 2: between post traumatic stress disorder versus post traumatic growth. That's
Speaker 2: so empowering to know that there's another lens through which
Speaker 2: to view trauma. And we also you're on the bright side.
Speaker 2: Love a framework, and Karen, you have created this framework
Speaker 2: that you call the bridge to happiness, and you created
Speaker 2: it for anyone out there who wants to just bring
Speaker 2: more happiness into their daily lives. You say that the
Speaker 2: beginning step is choice. Now I can see the eye
Speaker 2: rolls happening now, right, Like, I'm thinking of my friends
Speaker 2: who are currently going through depressive episodes, mental health episodes,
Speaker 2: and I know what they're thinking. It's not that easy, simon.
Speaker 2: It's not that easy, Karen, to just view happiness as
Speaker 2: a choice. Will you break down why that is so effective?
Speaker 1: Though?
Speaker 3: It depends on your definition of happiness. So if you're
Speaker 3: expecting life to always be easy and to be challenged
Speaker 3: free and to be one positive, you know fast it's
Speaker 3: not going to be like that. So for me, that
Speaker 3: was also something that really helped me was understanding that
Speaker 3: life can be hard. Okay, that made it easier, believe
Speaker 3: it or not. Like, Okay, life is hard and many
Speaker 3: times really hard, right and for a lot of people,
Speaker 3: much harder than for me. And it is difficult and
Speaker 3: challenging to go through the steps, right, particularly if you're
Speaker 3: dealing with a mental health issue. Okay, those are really
Speaker 3: hard because it's inside your head. I've suffered with anxiety.
Speaker 3: It's horrible, it's brutal. You know, it's like termites in
Speaker 3: your head. And still sometimes I have it, but I
Speaker 3: go into the framework. See, so I know that if
Speaker 3: I don't do something about it, which means the choice,
Speaker 3: it's going to balloon into something for me that it's
Speaker 3: really really toxic and difficult to get out of. For example,
Speaker 3: if I go out for a walk and see nature,
Speaker 3: even if I don't want, I don't wait to oh gee, wonderful,
Speaker 3: I'm feeling like crap and I want to just go
Speaker 3: in nature. Yeah, you know, no, I feel anxious. So
Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, I need to go out in nature
Speaker 3: because I know that's what's happening biologically is going to
Speaker 3: help me get out of this mood. And then visually
Speaker 3: I'm seeing nature. And also science says that if you're
Speaker 3: seeing nature, that also improves your well being. So I'm
Speaker 3: letting my body help me hedging myself towards possibly getting
Speaker 3: out of it. Then maybe I will call a friend.
Speaker 3: Then maybe i'll put music on as I'm working, I'll
Speaker 3: read something inspiring. There's a bunch of things that I
Speaker 3: do depending on how anxious I'm feeling so that I
Speaker 3: can reset and that it actually works because I've tried it.
Speaker 3: You know, I've experimented, So why not experiment on certain
Speaker 3: things that the social scientists have researched that show that
Speaker 3: improve your well being. And maybe it's not instant, but
Speaker 3: over time, small action lead to big change because of
Speaker 3: the neuroplasticity of our brain. Our brain can adapt or
Speaker 3: brain can change, we can build new mindsets. And certainly
Speaker 3: when you're in right now, if you're going through a
Speaker 3: very difficult time, it does sound like almost like magic
Speaker 3: or negating, but it actually works. It's not immediate. Losing
Speaker 3: weight is not immediate. It takes you know, you have
Speaker 3: to go and for a walk, you have to go
Speaker 3: to a gym, you have to sweat a little bit.
Speaker 3: But eventually you start to see some change. And it's
Speaker 3: the same thing for our minds and our mindsets.
Speaker 1: We're taking a quick break, but we'll be right back
Speaker 1: with Happiness and Well Being Advocate Karen Guggenheim.
Speaker 3: And we're back.
Speaker 1: Karen, what you're talking about sounds to me like a bridge,
Speaker 1: like you start one place and then you cross the
Speaker 1: bridge to get somewhere else. Your ted talk was actually
Speaker 1: titled the Bridge to happiness, but you say that the
Speaker 1: bridge is really meaning. I'm wondering if you can share
Speaker 1: more about that.
Speaker 3: Happiness is like a practice. Okay, So when we're talking
Speaker 3: about this, like the world happiness of it, or with
Speaker 3: the experts that come there, it's a practice, right, It's
Speaker 3: a daily practice that you do. It's not a pursuit
Speaker 3: or a place that you're going because actually, happiness is
Speaker 3: inside you, right, That's where it is. So you can
Speaker 3: keep looking outside at a job, at a person, at
Speaker 3: a car, at a house, at an outfit, at a trip,
Speaker 3: and you can be happy in the moment. But for
Speaker 3: sustainable happiness, you have to go inside and practice self care.
Speaker 3: Sometimes it's self compassion, self love, self forgiveness, forgiveness of others,
Speaker 3: work in your relationships, leave a relationship, leave a job,
Speaker 3: All of these different things those compose you know your
Speaker 3: own internal happiness and what matters to you. But the
Speaker 3: bridge of meaning what you aspire or pursue, for example,
Speaker 3: is purpose. And the beautiful thing about that is that
Speaker 3: you don't even have to accomplish the purpose is the
Speaker 3: pursuit that is a satisfying part because you're taking actions
Speaker 3: that are aligned with your values. Right, So once you
Speaker 3: know your purpose and what that is, then you connect
Speaker 3: with values and actions that are align with those values.
Speaker 3: That takes you on this kind of life journey. And
Speaker 3: along the way you are feeling more fulfillment, more optimal
Speaker 3: emotion and flourishing, and also building resilience for when life happens,
Speaker 3: so you're able to build that muscle for when you
Speaker 3: need it. Something else that is really important when I
Speaker 3: talk about the bridge, The other two components of meaning
Speaker 3: is coherence and significance. Right, So significance that could be
Speaker 3: like where you attach also with your values. What is
Speaker 3: important to you, what makes life worth living? That's significance
Speaker 3: and coherence is that things make sense. Right, So we
Speaker 3: need our lives to make sense to us. When you
Speaker 3: experience a loss, a loss of a job, a divorce,
Speaker 3: anything that ties into your identity, it's very disorienting for
Speaker 3: people because it taps into coherence, and so that shakes
Speaker 3: your meaning. And we are meaning making machines. We're social
Speaker 3: animals and meaning making machines, and we're doing that all
Speaker 3: the time. And I read something today and I thought
Speaker 3: it was kind of inspiring, and it was like, there're
Speaker 3: two prisoners right, looking up the jail cell out of
Speaker 3: the window, and one sees mud and another one sees
Speaker 3: a starry night.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 3: Both are true, both are reality based. But you have
Speaker 3: a choice on which one you want to focus on.
Speaker 3: We can process the other one take action on the
Speaker 3: other things. But largely I think that we tend to
Speaker 3: look at what we don't have or how we are
Speaker 3: left out. And I'm not talking about systemic exclusion or
Speaker 3: something like that, talking in everyday life and in every
Speaker 3: day common relationships, where we focus on maybe what we
Speaker 3: didn't get instead of all the things that we have
Speaker 3: or did get. How can we contribute to somebody else
Speaker 3: getting right? And another part of the work that we
Speaker 3: do from our foundation and our nonprofit work with the world,
Speaker 3: will being a policy form, is also to look at
Speaker 3: how we can change systemic policies, you know, in the
Speaker 3: workplace and in government and education so that we can
Speaker 3: promote well being.
Speaker 1: Will you give us an example of that, because I
Speaker 1: find that so interesting, Like I'm not sure in America
Speaker 1: our systems are in place for happiness.
Speaker 3: I agree that our systems are not in place, and
Speaker 3: that's why we fell out of the top twenty in
Speaker 3: the World Happiness Report rankings for the first time, and
Speaker 3: our youth is like sixty first in the world in happiness.
Speaker 3: I think we have a lot of social comparison with
Speaker 3: the social media, which is a place of everybody's having
Speaker 3: a better time than you, everybody has it better than you.
Speaker 3: So comparison is like a happiness killer because obviously with
Speaker 3: filters and all these joyous things that you see and
Speaker 3: you don't see the background or what it took to
Speaker 3: get there. By the way we feel little, it makes
Speaker 3: us feel small, It makes us feel real small. We
Speaker 3: need to work on feelings of belonging and maybe redefining success,
Speaker 3: maybe looking at policies that quantify success beyond money and GDP,
Speaker 3: but look at, for example, inclusion and belonging and how
Speaker 3: is the environment doing, and how do we create more
Speaker 3: win wind scenarios. How do we teach our kids right?
Speaker 3: We teach them like trigonometry and calculus, and that's amazing.
Speaker 3: I've never used calculus in my professional life. I don't
Speaker 3: know about you, ladies, but I would have loved the
Speaker 3: classroom well being. And about me, how does my brain work?
Speaker 3: What's a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset? How do
Speaker 3: I change that. What are the guide rails around media?
Speaker 3: Do I really want to go there? And so I
Speaker 3: think that we need a shift in how we think
Speaker 3: about success. If we're talking about the United States and
Speaker 3: in American society.
Speaker 2: I always come back to that concept of the internal
Speaker 2: locus of control, which is what you mentioned earlier, this
Speaker 2: idea of focusing on the things you are truly empowered
Speaker 2: to do on your own. And I'm so heartened to
Speaker 2: hear about the policies that could improve happiness for us
Speaker 2: in America. But at the same time, I also just
Speaker 2: know that no one is coming to save the day,
Speaker 2: save us and fix everything. So I think the responsibility
Speaker 2: is really on us to focus on what we can control.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, it's both scary and empowering you think about it,
Speaker 3: because we can do something about it. Yeah, right, But
Speaker 3: if you're the one saying it's too hard or what
Speaker 3: is one person going to do, let me tell you something.
Speaker 3: You know, with this World Happiness Summit, I devoted my
Speaker 3: life to it because I just felt it, just felt
Speaker 3: it was the right thing to do, something that I
Speaker 3: could do and I could control, right, And it created
Speaker 3: a lot of meaning for me, and it has created
Speaker 3: a lot of meaning for a lot of other people
Speaker 3: and has helped so many people. I would have never
Speaker 3: imagined that I could do something like that that would
Speaker 3: have significance for others and help others at scale. Now,
Speaker 3: is it going to curate everything? No, But if we
Speaker 3: can all at least think that it could be possible
Speaker 3: and start acting in ways of things that we can control,
Speaker 3: then we start to move the needle, yeah, and have
Speaker 3: a ripple effect.
Speaker 2: It's time for another short break. But when we come back,
Speaker 2: Karen Guggenheim tells us how to fight hopelessness and despair,
Speaker 2: and we're back with happiness and well being Advocate Karen Guggenheim,
Speaker 2: The hopelessness is the killer right Because I'll be honest,
Speaker 2: I'm in a really good mental health space right now.
Speaker 2: The past couple of months was a bit turbulent and
Speaker 2: up and down for me in terms of my mood
Speaker 2: and my just outlook on life and my emotions. I'm
Speaker 2: in a place right now where I can really absorb
Speaker 2: everything you're telling me, and I can absorb this framework.
Speaker 2: But when you feel hopeless, it's really hard to do that.
Speaker 2: It's really hard to stay consistent with this kind of framework.
Speaker 2: So what are the keys to keeping this in mind
Speaker 2: when you do feel that sense of despair or hopelessness.
Speaker 3: The theme for the next timent actually is hope and community.
Speaker 3: So hope is so powerful, it's so important, and I
Speaker 3: think that when you're feeling hopeless, it's like what you're saying,
Speaker 3: you feel like you have no internal locus of control.
Speaker 3: So it's super freaking scary. You feel like out of control,
Speaker 3: and that's really hard. And so first of all, we're okay,
Speaker 3: Like in even if we're not feeling okay, we're okay.
Speaker 3: We're all different, we're all dealing with a lot. We
Speaker 3: live in a society which is barrashed with information, right,
Speaker 3: So it's a lot. It's a lot that's going on,
Speaker 3: and it's a lot that's scary. And then, okay, the
Speaker 3: other thing is do you feel more hopeless when you're
Speaker 3: listening to the news and when you have alerts coming everywhere?
Speaker 3: I have zero alerts on my phone. I hardly look
Speaker 3: at the news because I stay just peripherally informed as
Speaker 3: to the large events. But I know how it impacts
Speaker 3: me and not in a good way, and so what
Speaker 3: I choose to do is use my energy to put
Speaker 3: it into the working solutions that then can help inform
Speaker 3: people who are making policy decisions or business leaders or individuals.
Speaker 3: So if for you there is a trigger that you know,
Speaker 3: don't do it. Don't go there. Protect yourself. So I'm
Speaker 3: very disciplined. I don't look at my phone first thing
Speaker 3: in the morning or last thing at night. So after
Speaker 3: nine pm, I don't check my phone because if I do,
Speaker 3: whether it's good or a bad message or whatever, I'll
Speaker 3: think about it and ruminate while being thinking about it
Speaker 3: at night, and then if I don't sleep well, then
Speaker 3: I'm going to be cranky the next morning. I'll have
Speaker 3: less energy, and that's going to then multiplying to something
Speaker 3: that most probably is not going to be great for
Speaker 3: me down the line. So those things are really important
Speaker 3: to see what are your triggers and what are your glimmers,
Speaker 3: and then what makes you feel good. If being with
Speaker 3: a friend or playing with your dog or whatever it
Speaker 3: is that just gives you a bit of a nudge
Speaker 3: in a direction that makes you feel better, then do
Speaker 3: more of that. Help. If you feel lonely, reach out
Speaker 3: to somebody and off for help. We're hardwired to feel
Speaker 3: better when we help other people, and so try some
Speaker 3: of that, Try some of these things and see what
Speaker 3: feels better for you, and understand that sometimes you just
Speaker 3: cannot feel well and that's okay, Karen.
Speaker 1: I love the word glimmer you said, triggers and glimmers.
Speaker 1: The imagery of it is so bright and powerful to me,
Speaker 1: at least when I think about a glimmer, I do
Speaker 1: think about service. I also think about gratitude. And I
Speaker 1: know this is kind of like a played out thing
Speaker 1: in our zeitgeist because we talk about gratitude a lot.
Speaker 1: Easy to talk about, sometimes harder to implement what actually
Speaker 1: happens in our brain when we experience gratitude.
Speaker 3: What's really interesting about gratitude is that it's very hard
Speaker 3: to be unhappy and be grateful at the same time.
Speaker 3: It primes your brain towards the positive. So whether you
Speaker 3: if you want, some people are like, oh, I don't
Speaker 3: like to do gratitude lists. Just say it in your brains,
Speaker 3: in your mind as you're brushing your teeth, right, think
Speaker 3: about things you're grateful for. Take that opportunity brushing teeth.
Speaker 3: I'm going to just say something that I'm grateful for.
Speaker 3: And it's the act of being grateful that primes yourself
Speaker 3: towards a positive feeling or seeing life in a different way.
Speaker 3: Also understand that feelings come and go, so you are
Speaker 3: not your feelings. It's data. So if you see it like, Okay,
Speaker 3: my feelings are telling me something, am I hungry and
Speaker 3: my lonely, break it down into like what it is
Speaker 3: that you're feeling, and then maybe then you can take well,
Speaker 3: I didn't sleep or I forgot to get a hug,
Speaker 3: Like a hug is also an amazing, amazing boost. I love.
Speaker 1: I'm such a hugger, Karen. I totally agree with you.
Speaker 1: If I hug somebody I care about, it feel better.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I just I breathe easier. I think
Speaker 1: that's a glimmer, Karen.
Speaker 2: As we come to an end, I want to talk
Speaker 2: to you about relationships and how this factors into the
Speaker 2: happiness equation, because you've said that, out of everything in
Speaker 2: our lives, relationships have the biggest impact on our happiness.
Speaker 3: Why. Like I said before, we're social creatures, and so
Speaker 3: you know it's about people, it's about relationships, and we're
Speaker 3: not meant to be alone. You know, loneliness doesn't feel
Speaker 3: good now, difference from solitude and we all like our
Speaker 3: alone time, and that's what I'm talking about. But the
Speaker 3: feeling of loneliness and isolation is very impactful. The Surgeon
Speaker 3: General talks about that we're very people centric, so people
Speaker 3: matter to us. So our relationships matter, whether it's a
Speaker 3: personal relationships or professional relationships. This is kind of like
Speaker 3: why we do what we do, but it's like it's meaning.
Speaker 3: People are meaning. They create meaning in our lives. They
Speaker 3: are the mirrors that reflect who we are. Many times,
Speaker 3: whether it's a friend or a loved one, it can
Speaker 3: be like going home, you know, in a relationship with
Speaker 3: a person.
Speaker 1: Amazing, Karen, thank you so much for joining us today.
Speaker 3: Absolutely my pleasure, Karen, this was awesome. It was so
Speaker 3: great to meet you. Thank you.
Speaker 1: Karen Guggenheim is a happiness and well being advocate, author
Speaker 1: and founder of WAHASU, the organizing body behind the World
Speaker 1: Happiness Summit. Her first book, Cultivating Happiness, is out next month.
Speaker 3: That's it for today's show.
Speaker 2: Tomorrow, we're joined by the most awarded artists in the
Speaker 2: accadem Me of Country Music Awards history and three time
Speaker 2: Grammy winner Miranda Lambert.
Speaker 1: Thank you to our partners at Coligard, The one of
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Speaker 2: I'm Simone Boye. You can find me at Simone Voice
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Speaker 1: I'm Danielle Robe on Instagram and TikTok.
Speaker 3: That's ro Ba.
Speaker 2: Y see you tomorrow, folks. Keep looking on the bright side.