1 00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:05,760 Speaker 1: When I right, y'all all across the USC Compton match 2 00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:10,720 Speaker 1: Bank to l A from on the California the Valley, 3 00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:14,320 Speaker 1: we represent that Kelly County. So if you're keeping it 4 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:17,119 Speaker 1: reil on your side of your town, you tune into 5 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:22,880 Speaker 1: Gangster Chronicles. The goals are gonna tell you how we go. 6 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:26,440 Speaker 1: If I line my nose will girl like Pinocchio. We're 7 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 1: gonna tell you the truth and nothing but the truth. 8 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:33,760 Speaker 1: Gangster Chronicals. This is not your average show. You're now 9 00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:37,199 Speaker 1: tuned into the Rail, m C A, Big James and 10 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:48,440 Speaker 1: Bix Fields the Streets. Hello, Welcome to the Gangster Chronicles podcast, 11 00:00:48,479 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 1: the production of My Heart Radio and Black Effect Podcast Network. 12 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:54,360 Speaker 1: Make sure you download the I Heart Happen. Subscribe to 13 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:57,080 Speaker 1: the Gangster Chronicles for my Apple users, hit the Purple 14 00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:59,840 Speaker 1: Michael your front screen, Subscribe Against Chronicles and leave a 15 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:02,600 Speaker 1: start rating the comment. We like to welcome you to 16 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:05,520 Speaker 1: another episode of Against the Chronicles podcast. And I'm with 17 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:09,160 Speaker 1: my Dog and we got our special guests and our 18 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:12,240 Speaker 1: special guest hosts taking m C Gates place while eight 19 00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:14,639 Speaker 1: is out there doing this thistle out there making his money. 20 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:17,559 Speaker 1: Big Court from the Holding Court Podcast, What's Happening court. 21 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:20,480 Speaker 1: What's going on? Roster lou Fella, Salute the Big Jason 22 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:22,840 Speaker 1: lout the Big Still thank you for having me to 23 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,800 Speaker 1: m C. A salute to O G. M C eight 24 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:27,840 Speaker 1: as well for show for show for show. You know, 25 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,400 Speaker 1: we were having some discussions. You know, we always talk 26 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:33,480 Speaker 1: on our own time about everything, and there seems to 27 00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:37,319 Speaker 1: be a problem with drug uses, a pervasive problem with 28 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:41,319 Speaker 1: drug using. The hip hop coach gets an urban coaching period. Um, 29 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:43,720 Speaker 1: I'm a product of the seven. You know. It's born 30 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:47,080 Speaker 1: in the seventies, born in seventy um, raised in the eighties. 31 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 1: And I remember there was a time to where you 32 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:51,480 Speaker 1: didn't want to be labeled as a thing. That was 33 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:53,360 Speaker 1: the most embarrassing thing ever. You didn't want to be 34 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:55,960 Speaker 1: called no smoker. You didn't want to have nothing to 35 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:58,280 Speaker 1: do with no drugs. You remember. At one time that 36 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:00,400 Speaker 1: was a big part of the thing. Even the use it. 37 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:02,880 Speaker 1: They would tell you like crackers wack, we're not working 38 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:04,440 Speaker 1: with that. You know, you don't want to be no thing. 39 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:06,360 Speaker 1: You're smoker. That was the worst thing you can call 40 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:11,200 Speaker 1: the person. But now it's just invaded the whole cooture. 41 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:13,760 Speaker 1: You've got these guys. They sound like they fall to 42 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:16,799 Speaker 1: sleep on their tracks. Man, they do. You know, it's 43 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:21,239 Speaker 1: opiates epidemic in this country, you know, as strong opiate epidemic. 44 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:23,440 Speaker 1: You know, it's a heroin the epidemic. And um, I 45 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:27,400 Speaker 1: know in the New Orleans, for example, heroin has been 46 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:30,959 Speaker 1: the main drug since as far back as I can remember. 47 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:34,720 Speaker 1: Everybody and everybody in New Orleans was on that. Girl. 48 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:37,160 Speaker 1: I think they've been that with that for a long time. 49 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,280 Speaker 1: And then you had used them with the lean movement, 50 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:44,480 Speaker 1: all of us connected back to opious. Yeah, you know that. 51 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:47,000 Speaker 1: The strange thing too, is still like you said, I'm 52 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:50,160 Speaker 1: born in the seventies, raised in the eighties. Um, you 53 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:53,680 Speaker 1: know our parents. You know, at least my mom and 54 00:02:53,919 --> 00:02:56,639 Speaker 1: her her reference of drug to stay away from was 55 00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:59,520 Speaker 1: heron you know what I'm saying, from the Vietna, from Vietnam, 56 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:01,480 Speaker 1: from the city these in the fifties and ships like that. 57 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:04,760 Speaker 1: So cocaine was a uh, you know, there was a 58 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:07,760 Speaker 1: party drug. There's a rich people drug. So you could 59 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:10,440 Speaker 1: see how people my mother's age and even Big J 60 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,960 Speaker 1: you know, their generation got broadsided by crack because they 61 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:16,120 Speaker 1: didn't know what that was. They didn't know what it 62 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:19,000 Speaker 1: was gonna be you know what I'm saying. Um, So 63 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:21,680 Speaker 1: that's why I could never understand why, you know, my 64 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:24,919 Speaker 1: generation or even younger would even touch some of these 65 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:27,200 Speaker 1: hard drugs, you know, because we have reference points of 66 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:30,440 Speaker 1: what it is, cocaine and cracking all of that. And 67 00:03:30,639 --> 00:03:33,560 Speaker 1: I remember, um, you know, I won't say no names, 68 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:35,640 Speaker 1: but you know, we all know street people. But I 69 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:38,080 Speaker 1: remember a couple of my street cats that I that 70 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:41,119 Speaker 1: I that I know, and I would ask them, I would, 71 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:43,520 Speaker 1: I would say, bro, how y'all still making money? Like 72 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:46,880 Speaker 1: I ain't seen a crackhead since the nineties, really, you 73 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:49,680 Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. And and and the nigga told me, 74 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:52,560 Speaker 1: he said, ship, he said, these motherfucker's ridding around on 75 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:55,040 Speaker 1: these twenty sixes and and and and you know what 76 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:57,720 Speaker 1: I mean like them? Them is them? Is the customers 77 00:03:57,800 --> 00:03:59,880 Speaker 1: right there. And I was blown away when he said. 78 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:04,080 Speaker 1: I was like, damn for really, Like, you know, so 79 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:07,680 Speaker 1: I don't know what it's uh, you know, I don't know, bro, 80 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:09,880 Speaker 1: you know, I don't know it is the level of 81 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:13,240 Speaker 1: mental illness. I think we're not talking about the mental 82 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:15,920 Speaker 1: illness part of it as well. And and of course 83 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,279 Speaker 1: we know what the systemic part of it is too 84 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:20,240 Speaker 1: as well, you know what I mean. I think we're 85 00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:25,160 Speaker 1: still uh you know, dealing with the the ripple effects 86 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:27,880 Speaker 1: of crack cocaine as well, because you know that ship 87 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:32,039 Speaker 1: had tentacles. I mean, you got you know, families, you 88 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:35,120 Speaker 1: know that we're broken mandatory minimums. You got niggas just 89 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:37,599 Speaker 1: coming home, you know what I mean, from from them 90 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:40,800 Speaker 1: Drake Coney and sentences and ships or fragmented the family. 91 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:43,640 Speaker 1: So it's so many, it's layers. There's so many layers 92 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:46,400 Speaker 1: to the issues that we see now. And like you said, 93 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:49,520 Speaker 1: it's cool to be a thing. I remember, Uh one 94 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:52,400 Speaker 1: of my little nephews partners, he's talking about he about 95 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:54,520 Speaker 1: to go bust ahead, you know what I mean. And 96 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,479 Speaker 1: I'm thinking to myself, like ship they give you. You're 97 00:04:57,520 --> 00:05:00,040 Speaker 1: the junkie, like he on everything. He don't pe it 98 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:03,240 Speaker 1: was he gonna lean he up, he's down, he's crazy, depressed, 99 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:05,880 Speaker 1: he's happy like they on so much ship, bro, And 100 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:09,320 Speaker 1: that's just the culture. Unfortunately, they celebrate that ship. Watching 101 00:05:09,839 --> 00:05:13,719 Speaker 1: my parents, their friends. They was on the Molly's and 102 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:18,640 Speaker 1: all that ship. The marijuana, uh, the PCP, you know, 103 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:22,080 Speaker 1: that's that was the drug back then, you know what 104 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:27,640 Speaker 1: I'm saying. In the seventies, every ten years, every year 105 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:33,040 Speaker 1: people find different ship, different ways to get high, and 106 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:36,839 Speaker 1: all it did is elevating because marijuana didn't work no more. 107 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:40,719 Speaker 1: The mollys didn't work no more. Now you got uh 108 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:44,240 Speaker 1: the lean, Now you got the uh what's the them 109 00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:48,039 Speaker 1: new pills? I took some of the more fockers before 110 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:53,479 Speaker 1: the who there's those ecstasy? Yeah, Exstacy, I popped. I 111 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:57,000 Speaker 1: popped like Poe Exstacy sitting down on my knees is 112 00:05:57,240 --> 00:06:00,880 Speaker 1: white levies gambling And why I'm shooting one of my 113 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:04,120 Speaker 1: little honeys because I was so fucked up. And but 114 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:10,960 Speaker 1: our kids today, the regular ship, the ship that they 115 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:13,080 Speaker 1: was on back then, they don't do it no more. 116 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:15,520 Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, I don't get you high 117 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:19,400 Speaker 1: no more. So people are looking for what's gonna anticipate 118 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:23,480 Speaker 1: these situations opposed to mellow them out or whatever, because 119 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:27,200 Speaker 1: just like you said, Noring, they're doing different drugs. If 120 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:30,599 Speaker 1: they're doing lean and drinking alcohol right behind it and 121 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:33,880 Speaker 1: smoking weeds, so they're doing four different types of drugs 122 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:37,880 Speaker 1: only one time just to get that that high. And 123 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:43,440 Speaker 1: the tolerance level is so whack these days. They can 124 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:45,840 Speaker 1: do it all day, man, they can. They can smoke weed. 125 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:49,680 Speaker 1: I was straight, just keep umping weeds and and some 126 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:54,880 Speaker 1: of them don't even be hind. Yeah, it just gotten worser, 127 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:58,400 Speaker 1: that's all it is. They don't. And the weed these 128 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:00,840 Speaker 1: days is crazy, you know what I mean when you're 129 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:03,919 Speaker 1: talking about the th C in it and just you 130 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:06,200 Speaker 1: know how, I'm like, damn, how how are you trying 131 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:09,280 Speaker 1: to beat? You know? Well, you know the thing it 132 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:12,480 Speaker 1: was core back in our days. I think, um, if 133 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:15,360 Speaker 1: you smoke some good old a good grade of reef, 134 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:18,080 Speaker 1: you know, like they have. Monkey Paul had different, you 135 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:22,320 Speaker 1: know strings he was running maybe about thirty thirty five 136 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:25,040 Speaker 1: percent t C. Right, you know, you're smoking joint. You 137 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:29,000 Speaker 1: get the giggles, you get the monks. But that's what 138 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:31,280 Speaker 1: I'm saying. That was some good weed back then. Now 139 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:33,800 Speaker 1: the arabage is kind of like fifty four. I've seen 140 00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:37,440 Speaker 1: fifty six, I've seen sixty, and it's like, how high 141 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:39,040 Speaker 1: do you want to be in the thing? It was 142 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:43,000 Speaker 1: these What's happening now is these kids are smoking so 143 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:46,360 Speaker 1: much weed that it's like it's becoming a thing to 144 00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:48,800 Speaker 1: where they gotta smoke more than you gotta. They gotta 145 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:51,680 Speaker 1: damn the smoking ounce just to get that same mind 146 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,200 Speaker 1: instead of to where it used to be a weekend thing. 147 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:57,440 Speaker 1: You may smoke Friday and Saturday, but you know, Sunday 148 00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,800 Speaker 1: through Thursday, whatever, Sunday, you go to church with him 149 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:01,160 Speaker 1: and you're business the rest of the week. And it 150 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:03,680 Speaker 1: was just a weekend thing. Now it's a daily thing. 151 00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:07,160 Speaker 1: You got people smoking joints back to back to back 152 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,880 Speaker 1: to back to back, and it's like they lose the 153 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:11,840 Speaker 1: backs of it and it's not so much weed. And 154 00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:15,680 Speaker 1: I'm worried about this. This opiates. Man, there's these opiates man, um, 155 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:18,200 Speaker 1: you know, opious. They can do a number of things. 156 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,840 Speaker 1: James talked about these guys mixing that lean with the 157 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:23,800 Speaker 1: you know, the promethezine with the alcohol you can leave 158 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:27,720 Speaker 1: to your loans, collapsing um. You know, my boy from 159 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:30,040 Speaker 1: second to None he lost his brother like that. Man, 160 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,599 Speaker 1: he just you know, one day could lapse. Man, he 161 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:34,439 Speaker 1: couldn't breathe and he didn't make it to the hospital. 162 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:38,360 Speaker 1: He died passed away from it. Yeah, I mean, let's explore, 163 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:40,959 Speaker 1: like what's the root of that, you know what I'm saying, 164 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:43,160 Speaker 1: Like like what's the root of it? And and and 165 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:45,960 Speaker 1: then not only the root of it, the influence. You know, 166 00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:49,400 Speaker 1: the rappers, they they influenced that. The music sets the 167 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:51,079 Speaker 1: training for the drug of the day, you know what 168 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:54,000 Speaker 1: I'm saying. When when Chronic came out, everybody was trying 169 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,880 Speaker 1: to get that good weed. It was about trying to 170 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:58,080 Speaker 1: get the chronic, you know what I mean. And then 171 00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:01,520 Speaker 1: you know, I remember doing the late nineties, early two thousand's, 172 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:04,439 Speaker 1: of course with the explosion of you know up north, 173 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:07,240 Speaker 1: the Northern Cali, you know, HiFi movement. It was all 174 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,720 Speaker 1: about them thistles. It was all about that ecstasy. And 175 00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:11,839 Speaker 1: then then the Moley and all of that. And then 176 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:14,360 Speaker 1: of course you had Houston, you know with the screwed 177 00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:16,559 Speaker 1: up ship, you know, with the lean. They've they've been 178 00:09:16,559 --> 00:09:20,400 Speaker 1: doing the lean forever, you know what I'm saying with 179 00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:22,480 Speaker 1: the drink. But I'm gonna tell you something, No, Court, 180 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:26,719 Speaker 1: it just wasn't in Texas they popularized it, right they 181 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:30,880 Speaker 1: the mainstream. But I know Philly, Ohio, and I'm pretty 182 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,320 Speaker 1: sure Beckham, James every it was on that on that 183 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:39,240 Speaker 1: leaning real heavy too. That Now that ain't the West 184 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:41,200 Speaker 1: Coast thing. I never heard of it out on the 185 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:44,760 Speaker 1: West coast, just really located, just really in Houston. To 186 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:46,719 Speaker 1: be very honest with you, but to be honest with you, 187 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:49,520 Speaker 1: like I'm gonna be real court. I had homeboys in Philly, 188 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:53,679 Speaker 1: my homeboys in Pittsburgh, had homeboys in Ohio. It was 189 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:56,400 Speaker 1: a thing. Because you have to remember, and I do 190 00:09:56,559 --> 00:09:58,679 Speaker 1: think that some of this stuff is kind of just 191 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:01,840 Speaker 1: it's two coincident in it because I remember I had 192 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:04,640 Speaker 1: asked me real bad coming up right, And remember my 193 00:10:04,679 --> 00:10:06,560 Speaker 1: mom would take me to the hospital in at one time. 194 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:08,719 Speaker 1: You know, if I had a code was congested, they 195 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:11,640 Speaker 1: would give her a big two leader for to permit 196 00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:14,520 Speaker 1: the zaine. Mm hmm, it will be a two leader. 197 00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:16,079 Speaker 1: And I remember she give me a teaspoon. Now he 198 00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:17,640 Speaker 1: just go to sleep and will knock me right out. 199 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,520 Speaker 1: But the whole leader stayed up there. It might still 200 00:10:20,559 --> 00:10:23,120 Speaker 1: be sitting up in their medicine cabinet. It was there. 201 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:26,320 Speaker 1: You know, I ain't gonna lie bro during COVID, I 202 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:29,120 Speaker 1: called COVID. I had COVID. You know about two years ago. 203 00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:32,800 Speaker 1: I had a super bad cough and and the doctor 204 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:36,680 Speaker 1: prescribed me that that that ship right. I can see 205 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,959 Speaker 1: the appeal of it because I slept good, my nigga, 206 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:41,320 Speaker 1: I ain't gonna lie. I slept good as ship right, 207 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:44,520 Speaker 1: but it robbed me of my day. I can't see 208 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,319 Speaker 1: how niggas functioning on it because I didn't want to 209 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:49,120 Speaker 1: do ship like. I was actually like like a heroin 210 00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:51,320 Speaker 1: at it like I was doze and had that dophine. 211 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:53,200 Speaker 1: Now I'll be watching TV and next thing I know, 212 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:55,800 Speaker 1: I'm not off and ship like. I don't see how 213 00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:58,480 Speaker 1: they how they functioned on it, you know. And then 214 00:10:58,559 --> 00:11:00,800 Speaker 1: I don't think they realized really the effects of it, 215 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:02,800 Speaker 1: like you said with the kidneys and even you can 216 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:05,720 Speaker 1: always tell when these little niggas is on this because 217 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:07,719 Speaker 1: you can't use the bathroom, they get the gut. That 218 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:10,040 Speaker 1: was the thing with man, and you know literally that 219 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:13,160 Speaker 1: means you full of ship because you can't. You can't, 220 00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:16,679 Speaker 1: you can't move your boss, you can't overs if you're 221 00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:19,840 Speaker 1: trying to. It's been people, man. I've heard of people. Man, 222 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:23,240 Speaker 1: the famous people have to go get the surgery because 223 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:25,600 Speaker 1: they they literally couldn't shipp The gotta go in there 224 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:27,800 Speaker 1: and kind of just buy, yeah, it's open to get 225 00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:30,800 Speaker 1: get rid of all the feces and stuff, because you know, 226 00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:34,560 Speaker 1: ahead can tell it. You can go like that, Yeah, 227 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:37,199 Speaker 1: for sure, for sure. But I mean, let's explore, man, 228 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,880 Speaker 1: what you think the the like I said, the root 229 00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:43,000 Speaker 1: of this. Why why you want to get so high? 230 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,920 Speaker 1: Why are they so you know, fascinated with with the 231 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:49,040 Speaker 1: with with the drug culture. Well, we got two different 232 00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:54,560 Speaker 1: dynamics going on court. The first one is life imitating art. 233 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,920 Speaker 1: You know, people see their favorite artists doing stuff in 234 00:11:56,960 --> 00:12:01,160 Speaker 1: the biggest major thing about his undiagnosed depression, self medication. 235 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:04,000 Speaker 1: A lot of people are depressed, a lot of people 236 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:07,080 Speaker 1: having diagnosed depressed, a lot of people don't believe in depression. 237 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:08,520 Speaker 1: A lot of people don't believe. And you want to 238 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:12,559 Speaker 1: go get therapy and things like that. They that's I 239 00:12:12,679 --> 00:12:15,600 Speaker 1: suffered from depression off and known probably for most of 240 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:19,400 Speaker 1: my life, which I believe was hereditary, probably up until 241 00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:22,400 Speaker 1: you know, more recent years. But yeah, that'shi, it real, 242 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,199 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. You just gotta do your 243 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:27,440 Speaker 1: work and understand what your triggers are and like you said, 244 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:32,720 Speaker 1: talk to somebody. That ship is ready. There's depression. We 245 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:37,079 Speaker 1: live in the generation man to where people look at um, 246 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:40,160 Speaker 1: you know, expressing your feelings. Some people, especially in our community, 247 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:43,760 Speaker 1: They look at expressing your feelings as being soft. So 248 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:46,600 Speaker 1: a lot of people self medicate. They smoke weed, they 249 00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:49,520 Speaker 1: drink alcohol. Um. You know, you think if you think 250 00:12:49,559 --> 00:12:52,200 Speaker 1: about the pattern in the hood all day, you know, 251 00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:54,080 Speaker 1: we don't see their man. The morning. They gonna get 252 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:55,760 Speaker 1: them a couple of grams. They stopped the spense for 253 00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:57,920 Speaker 1: get them a couple of grams. They go to store 254 00:12:57,920 --> 00:12:59,640 Speaker 1: and get them a til pact. They sit around and 255 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,280 Speaker 1: drink smoke, will drink smoke. Then they may go up 256 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:05,319 Speaker 1: with their homeboys. Their homeboys got a couple of pills. 257 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:07,600 Speaker 1: Next thing you know, they're popping the motherfucker's. And they're 258 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:10,400 Speaker 1: not just taking these pills. They're not just taking drinking 259 00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:12,200 Speaker 1: them with a glass of water. No, all these motherfucker's 260 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:15,480 Speaker 1: showing these pills, they courting them because each peel, like, 261 00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:19,000 Speaker 1: let's say you get a Tim Millergraham oxycotton, right, that 262 00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:22,480 Speaker 1: Tim Millergraham oxycotton is built to release over six hours. 263 00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:25,480 Speaker 1: It's not built to go on your bloodstream all thet once. 264 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:27,920 Speaker 1: So when you get the showing them motherfucker's and snorting them, 265 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:30,320 Speaker 1: you're taking all of that at once, man, And what 266 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:33,440 Speaker 1: it doesn't overloads your senses almost in where you don't 267 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:34,880 Speaker 1: know what the fun is want. Like you said, you're 268 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:36,880 Speaker 1: nodding off and you don't give a funk about nothing. 269 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:40,760 Speaker 1: That's why you have so many instances of motherfucker's just 270 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:44,199 Speaker 1: popping the motherfucker just for no reason. Pretty much. You know, 271 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:47,760 Speaker 1: motherucker's say something power because you are desensitized to what's 272 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:50,600 Speaker 1: going on around you. And so we have a lot 273 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:54,040 Speaker 1: of people suffering from the addiction and not pray healing 274 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:56,680 Speaker 1: and help for anybody stuck on heroin. I've had heroin 275 00:13:56,720 --> 00:14:00,800 Speaker 1: addicts in my family. It's almost impossible. I've seen people 276 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:03,600 Speaker 1: get off crack. I've seen people get off cocaine. I've 277 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:06,280 Speaker 1: seen people start I've seen people put weed down easy, right. 278 00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:11,880 Speaker 1: But that heroin, it's all It's a strong monkey on 279 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:15,760 Speaker 1: your back. Man. It's almost impossible to leave because by 280 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:18,720 Speaker 1: the time they started getting sick. Man, I had a cousin. 281 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:21,960 Speaker 1: It was on that ship, right and they was going 282 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,920 Speaker 1: through what man, I'm talking about, defecating on themselves, man, 283 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:29,480 Speaker 1: advocating on themselves. The sweats. It's almost like they begged 284 00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,280 Speaker 1: you for that stuff. I had a cousin, Man, they 285 00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:33,520 Speaker 1: literally tied her up when they got her queen, like 286 00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:36,160 Speaker 1: literally her daddy got on the room, tied her up, 287 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,160 Speaker 1: and left friend there. He would come in their feather 288 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:42,600 Speaker 1: suit and he did this for about six months, and 289 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:46,640 Speaker 1: eventually she started getting normal. And but what are he 290 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:50,080 Speaker 1: was doing? He would give her a little doses a ship, right, 291 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:53,600 Speaker 1: like little doses are like um, like what was that ship? 292 00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:55,880 Speaker 1: He would give her on like taling all threes, like 293 00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:58,560 Speaker 1: lower dose medicine because you know, you could die on 294 00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:01,400 Speaker 1: that ship. M you get down on that ship. So 295 00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:03,120 Speaker 1: he would cut like a town and all three up 296 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,320 Speaker 1: the four's and feed her little pieces of it and 297 00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:08,160 Speaker 1: ship like that, so she would get the little thing, 298 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:09,880 Speaker 1: you know, so she could relax a little bit. But 299 00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:12,560 Speaker 1: then eventually he just like cut her off cold turkey 300 00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:16,960 Speaker 1: and she got clean. Man, But it took her. Once 301 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,440 Speaker 1: he got her like that, then he put her in 302 00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:21,200 Speaker 1: the rehab because he did the rehab ship before, and 303 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:23,040 Speaker 1: he was like, funk this ship. I'm not going to 304 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:25,320 Speaker 1: go spend another fifteen thousand dollars for your ass to 305 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:27,360 Speaker 1: come out and be cool. And then they want to 306 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,560 Speaker 1: replace that ship with some other medicine. Because now I 307 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:33,000 Speaker 1: was a little bit better because they have medicine like 308 00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:35,440 Speaker 1: my cousin back then, she's on the medicine. Now she 309 00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:39,000 Speaker 1: takes a peel I think once a day. She takes 310 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,440 Speaker 1: a peal once a day, and she's been clean, works 311 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,320 Speaker 1: a job. You wouldn't You wouldn't know her. I saw 312 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:44,720 Speaker 1: when I was back at the crib and it was 313 00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:47,760 Speaker 1: kind of like, hey, there, you finally back to us. 314 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:50,440 Speaker 1: I'm so proud of you. She's able to hold a 315 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:53,120 Speaker 1: job now, She's probably had to take that medicine for 316 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,160 Speaker 1: the rest of her life. But Dog, it's better than 317 00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:59,040 Speaker 1: the alternative. But it makes me think sometimes it's like, okay, 318 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:04,320 Speaker 1: you were place one drug with another. Somebody's still getting paid. 319 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:06,240 Speaker 1: How does this ship make it to the streets, bro, 320 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:08,120 Speaker 1: Because we ain't got no you know, they got pelle 321 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:12,000 Speaker 1: princes in the creative stuff like that, But I don't 322 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,040 Speaker 1: think no chemists in the hood like that that's able 323 00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:18,360 Speaker 1: to figure off the pharmacology of Opius. You feel what 324 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:21,400 Speaker 1: I'm saying, the manufacturing gills that ship is coming from somewhere, dog, 325 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:23,520 Speaker 1: and it's coming from the inside. And I'm gonna tell 326 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:27,480 Speaker 1: you another thing too, bro, that fat and all it's 327 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:30,960 Speaker 1: really taking motherfucker's out. I lost one of my little lost, 328 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,360 Speaker 1: one of my cousin lost his son. You know, the 329 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:37,400 Speaker 1: rest in peace, little DJ. But he wasn't on ship. Dog. 330 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,320 Speaker 1: He just got him a job though. He just got 331 00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:42,280 Speaker 1: a job of the city. You know how to her 332 00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:44,680 Speaker 1: his court, we both met West boys. You get a 333 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:48,040 Speaker 1: job with the city, you're making that forty fifty run up. 334 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:50,200 Speaker 1: You can run a four bedroom house for eight hundred 335 00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:52,440 Speaker 1: dollars a month, and that motherfucker you're doing good, you know. 336 00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:55,320 Speaker 1: So his back was hurt, real bad. He went over 337 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:58,160 Speaker 1: one of his home plays house and said, hey, my 338 00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:00,400 Speaker 1: back is killing me. Oh dog, got some for that. 339 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:03,080 Speaker 1: He took that dog, laid on with his little baby 340 00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:05,200 Speaker 1: on his cheff dog. He just never woke up because 341 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:08,120 Speaker 1: it was fitting on. I just got our knee surgery dog. 342 00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:10,520 Speaker 1: And when I was in knee surgery, it was funny 343 00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:13,840 Speaker 1: because you wake up all you remember, you don't remember nothing, 344 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:16,840 Speaker 1: You just remember just just kind of just passing out right, 345 00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:19,440 Speaker 1: and you wake up and your knee in the first 346 00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:21,560 Speaker 1: worst pain in the world. And they got this ice 347 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:24,240 Speaker 1: thing on your knee is properly like, oh, ship, what 348 00:17:24,359 --> 00:17:28,240 Speaker 1: the fund is going on? So I hear the nurse 349 00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:31,719 Speaker 1: one C C f cc affetting all you know, and 350 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:34,240 Speaker 1: she ship that thing. Once she hit that thing dog 351 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,680 Speaker 1: whatever it was, she didn't shake it into that thing. 352 00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:39,600 Speaker 1: I swear I felt the warmthons come up with my 353 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:43,080 Speaker 1: body almost instantly. Nat wasn't hurt, and she told me, 354 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:46,359 Speaker 1: she said, yeah, you're feeling good now, but tomorrow there's 355 00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:49,359 Speaker 1: some time to burl that knat pain heels gonna come back. 356 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:51,560 Speaker 1: That's why they tell you to get your pain medication 357 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,320 Speaker 1: and ship before you even go home, so that ship 358 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:56,159 Speaker 1: is there. And she was just think. I was in 359 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,240 Speaker 1: the middle of doing my therapy. Look shine, he's like 360 00:17:58,359 --> 00:17:59,800 Speaker 1: he been on my leg. All of a sudden that 361 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:02,120 Speaker 1: ain't came back. And I was like, oh, Ship, you've 362 00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:03,960 Speaker 1: been in the two hard you've been in the to her, 363 00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:06,320 Speaker 1: she said, did you take your pain medicine? No? They 364 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:09,680 Speaker 1: kept asking me, Mrs Still, why are you not taking 365 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:13,520 Speaker 1: the pain mess And I'm looking at these white folks 366 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:17,959 Speaker 1: like why are you not taking your main pain medicine. 367 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,800 Speaker 1: I'm like, you're not turning me into a JUNKI and 368 00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:22,440 Speaker 1: this fucking if I don't have to take him my taking. 369 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,840 Speaker 1: But then what I realized was. In order for me 370 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:27,679 Speaker 1: to do my therapy right, I had to take a 371 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:30,000 Speaker 1: mess subscribe. And that's what I did. I took a 372 00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:32,040 Speaker 1: mess subscribe. I took it nothing like. I don't have 373 00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:34,840 Speaker 1: no pain now. I don't funk with the motherfucker's the 374 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:39,040 Speaker 1: motherfucker's in the toilet because I'm a responsible parent. Me no, 375 00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:41,720 Speaker 1: when I got teenagers in the house, I'm not one 376 00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:44,440 Speaker 1: of them. Parents like my Thank God, my kids don't 377 00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:48,200 Speaker 1: do no dope. But teenagers like the experiment. They're curious. 378 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:51,080 Speaker 1: They may go in that medical cabinessty ship Pomp's got 379 00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:53,160 Speaker 1: some mons cottle. I'm gonna trap one of these motherfucker. 380 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:55,040 Speaker 1: It might be the one ship to send them over 381 00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:57,159 Speaker 1: the eggs dog. I ain't going out like that. But 382 00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,159 Speaker 1: I think we got a lot of mental illness in 383 00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:03,119 Speaker 1: our community, bro. We have its in our community, and 384 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:05,760 Speaker 1: it's um and it's to the point, bro, to where 385 00:19:06,359 --> 00:19:10,320 Speaker 1: we don't we don't seek treatment because we want to 386 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,040 Speaker 1: keep getting out using. When people getting clean, it's because 387 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:15,160 Speaker 1: they want to. I had a brother that did crack. 388 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:16,720 Speaker 1: He would tell you. I had a brother that did 389 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:19,920 Speaker 1: cracked for him five years straight, and he told me, said, man, 390 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:23,679 Speaker 1: I smoked thirty five hundred dollars worth ship every day, 391 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,440 Speaker 1: and he made his way to go get that money. 392 00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,399 Speaker 1: He figured out one day he tried to do everything. 393 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:31,640 Speaker 1: My mom's would try to let him in the house. Man. 394 00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:35,360 Speaker 1: You know, she come back on TV, gone rings going, 395 00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,240 Speaker 1: all kinds of ship and he'd be sitting up for 396 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,280 Speaker 1: that motherfucker, like and come back in any of them, 397 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:43,000 Speaker 1: or what's going on, Mama, billy? Where's my stuff at? Like, 398 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,199 Speaker 1: where's all my stuff? I don't know. Somebody must have 399 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:48,440 Speaker 1: broken the crib and eventually, you know, any time a 400 00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:50,600 Speaker 1: mother gets tired of you and kicked her son off 401 00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:56,560 Speaker 1: the crib, they gotta be serious, though, Yeah, we gotta worship. 402 00:19:56,600 --> 00:20:00,879 Speaker 1: That's like a quarterbreak almost, you know that drum like 403 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:07,200 Speaker 1: that's like that's like but yeah, but but I think 404 00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:09,880 Speaker 1: to your point, man, like when you think about you know, 405 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:12,479 Speaker 1: a lot of this ship is systemic too. You know, 406 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:14,960 Speaker 1: it's like they give us the tools to to to 407 00:20:15,119 --> 00:20:17,760 Speaker 1: destroy ourselves. You know what I'm saying, Because you know 408 00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:20,560 Speaker 1: it's so many, it's so many layers to it. You know, 409 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:24,720 Speaker 1: we're already dealing with depression, were already dealing with you know, uh, 410 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:27,800 Speaker 1: mental illness, we're dealing with health issues, we're dealing with 411 00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:31,159 Speaker 1: you know, hopelessness. That that adds to it too, because 412 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,760 Speaker 1: you know there's so many struggles and like that, think 413 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,199 Speaker 1: about it. It's still liquor stores. Like you go to 414 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:38,840 Speaker 1: the hood, you know, Like I live in the valley, 415 00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,680 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So when I'm in Calabasas, 416 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,000 Speaker 1: I don't see liquor stores like that. Like I literally 417 00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:46,200 Speaker 1: kind of go look for one, you know what I'm saying. 418 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:49,480 Speaker 1: But you you go to l a man, the motherfucker's 419 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:52,000 Speaker 1: is all over. It's like you can find anything you want, 420 00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:54,480 Speaker 1: but but you can't find but it's hard to like 421 00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:57,639 Speaker 1: James said, you know, but you can't get health insurance. 422 00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,879 Speaker 1: You know, you can't find you know, a mentor, you 423 00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:03,200 Speaker 1: can't get into college. You can get into jail easier 424 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:04,840 Speaker 1: than you can get into college, you know what i mean. 425 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:08,919 Speaker 1: Like there's not there's not useful resources around you, you 426 00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:11,560 Speaker 1: know what I mean. But you can get anything you want, 427 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:15,800 Speaker 1: any drug you want, fitting all oxy thistles, wet, whatever 428 00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:17,879 Speaker 1: you want. It's out there for you to indulge in. 429 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:21,120 Speaker 1: So a lot of that ship is the stomach bro 430 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:25,959 Speaker 1: A lot of a lot of ships start off recreation 431 00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:28,320 Speaker 1: on a lot of people get hired just because they're 432 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:32,160 Speaker 1: hanging out. You know, I never did marijuana. I've never 433 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:35,919 Speaker 1: seen the reason to do that. Um, when when the 434 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:41,560 Speaker 1: promos came out, everybody homies passing joints. You know what 435 00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:45,520 Speaker 1: I'm saying, doing promos happen to motherfucker's that was hanging 436 00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:48,120 Speaker 1: around only did it because the homies was doing it. 437 00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:53,240 Speaker 1: Everybody was not junkies. But you became a junkie after 438 00:21:55,119 --> 00:21:57,800 Speaker 1: when you're the only motherfucker's still doing great cocaine, you're 439 00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:02,280 Speaker 1: a junkie. You know what I'm saying. Harolin dog food 440 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:06,720 Speaker 1: was totally different because it fed and and and attacks 441 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:12,920 Speaker 1: you from the inside, right, Not no mind ship that 442 00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:18,800 Speaker 1: cocaine was totally different. Motherfucker's was robbing and stealing and 443 00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:21,560 Speaker 1: doing all other kinds of ship for different trugs. But 444 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:25,000 Speaker 1: the kids of the day didn't have to get down 445 00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:28,359 Speaker 1: like in in my days. You know what I'm saying. 446 00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:33,240 Speaker 1: They're doing ship just because the next person is doing it. 447 00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:38,320 Speaker 1: Like you said, they're listening to uh Little Wayne rapping 448 00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:42,840 Speaker 1: about lane or or what you call them talking about percocets. 449 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:46,720 Speaker 1: So the mind tells them, Man, I'm gonna go try 450 00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:51,800 Speaker 1: that ship out, So we'll start off just a taste tester. 451 00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:56,320 Speaker 1: When they start liking it, everybody in the hood wants 452 00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:59,560 Speaker 1: to hang out and be feeling good, especially when they 453 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:02,920 Speaker 1: go to park these yet the nightclubs, everybody already ready 454 00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:06,320 Speaker 1: they pop the theles, they're getting that motherfucker what they're doing. 455 00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:11,240 Speaker 1: They're drinking their ass off. It intensified. They hide, so 456 00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:14,479 Speaker 1: they started getting used to it. It becomes a pattern. 457 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:17,000 Speaker 1: I gotta this is how I gotta do it. So 458 00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:20,520 Speaker 1: you know, if if I walked around the who to 459 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:24,200 Speaker 1: say everybody is doing drug got a mental problem? I'd 460 00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:27,040 Speaker 1: be crazy and the motherfucker No, we're just doing ship 461 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:29,960 Speaker 1: just because everybody else is doing it now, and I'm 462 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:33,000 Speaker 1: doing it because it makes me feel good. Yeah, it's 463 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:36,600 Speaker 1: some people in the hood that that's going through a 464 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:40,880 Speaker 1: whole bunch of ship and doing drugs is a way 465 00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:45,000 Speaker 1: of forgetting you know what I'm saying, like alcohol, you're 466 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:50,760 Speaker 1: the worstest motherfucking drug out there. Theory because m hm, 467 00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:54,080 Speaker 1: when I when I put myself in situations and did 468 00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:57,359 Speaker 1: certain things, I got drunk so I didn't have to 469 00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:00,919 Speaker 1: think about it. But guess what, when you wake up 470 00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:02,840 Speaker 1: that next day, you're gonna wake up with a hangover, 471 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:05,800 Speaker 1: but you still gonna remember the ship you did and 472 00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,560 Speaker 1: I funked up you was, you know what I'm saying. 473 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:13,160 Speaker 1: So alcohol was one of the worstest motherfucking things out there. 474 00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:16,280 Speaker 1: But these kids they're doing it. All these niggas out 475 00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:19,639 Speaker 1: here today don't give a fuck. So it's just a 476 00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:24,520 Speaker 1: word of mouth. Let's try this, and everybody is uh 477 00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:29,880 Speaker 1: experimenting with whatever it's new today. Yeah, that's that's crazy 478 00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:31,960 Speaker 1: because you know, I never subscribed to that. And I 479 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,680 Speaker 1: know exactly what you mean, James, because you know, growing up, 480 00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:37,600 Speaker 1: you know, all my friends drank smoke weed. You know, 481 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:40,400 Speaker 1: that was what it was back then. Uh in case 482 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:43,920 Speaker 1: you know wet you know that was the wed daddy, 483 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:47,280 Speaker 1: the button nket that was a thing in the nineties. Um. 484 00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:50,040 Speaker 1: But you know, I think probably because I grew up 485 00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:52,919 Speaker 1: in a household with function and alcoholics, you know, and 486 00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:55,080 Speaker 1: I kind of grew up around drugs like you know, 487 00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:57,159 Speaker 1: I grew up in the eighties, so you know, I 488 00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:00,639 Speaker 1: remember finding you know, when my mother and her friends 489 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:02,720 Speaker 1: and my stepfather would be partying. You know what I'm 490 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:05,440 Speaker 1: on the weekend. I remember finding them trades up under 491 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:07,800 Speaker 1: the couch with the residue. You know what I'm saying. 492 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:09,600 Speaker 1: I used to be drawn in the residute. I didn't 493 00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:11,480 Speaker 1: know what it was, you know what I'm saying. And 494 00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:15,440 Speaker 1: so but you know, I remember my people being inebriated, 495 00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,480 Speaker 1: and I don't know that just that ship just turned 496 00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:20,959 Speaker 1: me off, bro Like, I never wanted to be around it. 497 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:23,439 Speaker 1: I never did it. My friends did it, but you know, 498 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:26,360 Speaker 1: I never followed, you know what I'm saying. Like, and 499 00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:28,040 Speaker 1: and it could be just because I've seen it in 500 00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:31,520 Speaker 1: my household, you know. But you're right though, a lot 501 00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:34,360 Speaker 1: of people fall victim to just being followers and and 502 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:37,119 Speaker 1: just trying to you know, fit in, you know what 503 00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:39,359 Speaker 1: I mean, And they funk around and try something, and 504 00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:41,280 Speaker 1: it takes some years to untry it, you know what 505 00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:43,680 Speaker 1: I mean exactly. And and the thing it was, Court 506 00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:47,080 Speaker 1: I went through my period, man, because being a product 507 00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:50,400 Speaker 1: of Midwest, some stuff was just then out of bordom. 508 00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:52,480 Speaker 1: You're out of sheer boredom. You know. The thing is, 509 00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:55,160 Speaker 1: because you know, being in the Midwest and the small towns, 510 00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:58,480 Speaker 1: you don't already vote on everything that's walking around there 511 00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:01,000 Speaker 1: already and you don't know and everything, and then the 512 00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:04,240 Speaker 1: thing it was somebody got a kick back, they got liquor, 513 00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:06,560 Speaker 1: they got beer, over the wind up getting front. I 514 00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:08,760 Speaker 1: went through a period that went to one summer dog 515 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:10,920 Speaker 1: where I blacked out twice, and that's when I realized 516 00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:13,560 Speaker 1: I didn't. That's when I kind of slowed down, but 517 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:17,000 Speaker 1: I kept going kind of into my arm early twenties, 518 00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:19,159 Speaker 1: and then I remember my little boy came to me 519 00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:21,760 Speaker 1: one day and said, I want to drink beer too, 520 00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:23,399 Speaker 1: And I just looked at the way he looked at me. 521 00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:25,200 Speaker 1: I said, damn, did my son see me as a 522 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:27,919 Speaker 1: drunk motherfucker woving around here? And my wife would kind 523 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:30,720 Speaker 1: of making choice. It's easy to go be that for this, 524 00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:32,800 Speaker 1: and I just left the ship alone. I just stopped. 525 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:34,520 Speaker 1: I didn't go to know where the draws or nothing. 526 00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:37,480 Speaker 1: I just left alone. That was after because after year, 527 00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:42,840 Speaker 1: it was still early for you, like like me, before school. 528 00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:46,359 Speaker 1: Fuck school. We stopped that, just stove and got a 529 00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:51,439 Speaker 1: court of all English, and we drunk beer all the 530 00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:55,240 Speaker 1: way to school. Coming from school, when the sun going down, 531 00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:59,720 Speaker 1: we switched from liquor to bumpy face. Were drank and 532 00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:04,360 Speaker 1: by Jen we we were drinking. That was my way 533 00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:07,400 Speaker 1: of coping with everything that was going on the day. 534 00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:12,960 Speaker 1: So when nighttime hit down, I'm already ready half for 535 00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:17,040 Speaker 1: my motherfucking Shenanigans. Was because I was already drunk, feeling good, 536 00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:20,920 Speaker 1: and ready to go fuck it, you see what I'm saying. 537 00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:23,480 Speaker 1: But I was able to cope with with what was 538 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:27,080 Speaker 1: going on around me for that day. I just didn't 539 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:30,760 Speaker 1: do the weed. Everybody else was drinking with me from 540 00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:35,119 Speaker 1: from from morning tonight on there to to hard liquor. 541 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:41,720 Speaker 1: They smoked weed. I didn't. And then say the early 542 00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:45,760 Speaker 1: part of the eighties that that premo, Yeah, we had 543 00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:51,440 Speaker 1: the Vermont Drive in ten cars and everybody is going 544 00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:54,120 Speaker 1: back and forth back and forth to East Car smoking 545 00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:58,800 Speaker 1: premos and drinking. But when we had that motherfucking fighting there, 546 00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:03,520 Speaker 1: everybody looked like they was paranoid to know what the 547 00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:05,560 Speaker 1: fun to do. And I've seen the best of the 548 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:10,360 Speaker 1: best loss even lost, Like what the funk am I doing? 549 00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:14,520 Speaker 1: Didn't know what to do? So man, that promo should 550 00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:17,320 Speaker 1: smell so terrible. Man, my aunt, you know my first 551 00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:20,600 Speaker 1: introduction in the promo um in the eighties. You know, 552 00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:22,840 Speaker 1: my my aunt used to smoke weed. I used to 553 00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:24,600 Speaker 1: like the smell of weed when I was a kid, 554 00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:27,000 Speaker 1: you know, I always loved the smell of it. And 555 00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:30,200 Speaker 1: my aunt would be smoking and I used to be like, Damn, 556 00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:33,359 Speaker 1: her weed smell funny, Like that was stronger ship. I 557 00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:35,320 Speaker 1: used to be like, why her ship smell like that? 558 00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:39,120 Speaker 1: You know it was. It wasn't until you know, I 559 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:41,000 Speaker 1: got a little bit older where it was like damn, 560 00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:45,560 Speaker 1: aunt was on their mold and she was that with 561 00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:50,040 Speaker 1: that when before she started doing most like my uncle's 562 00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:52,880 Speaker 1: they were they were doing the blow, they were sniffing 563 00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:55,880 Speaker 1: the ship. Yeah, and and once that didn't funk with 564 00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:58,640 Speaker 1: him no more, they went to the next thing. Now 565 00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:03,120 Speaker 1: they're basing now basically you know, now they're doing different ships. 566 00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:06,560 Speaker 1: It's just it intensified once you get it in your 567 00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:09,160 Speaker 1: system and you just want more and you want a 568 00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:11,719 Speaker 1: better effect. You want to you want to get you 569 00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:14,760 Speaker 1: want to be fucked up. So what they're doing, man, 570 00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:18,680 Speaker 1: is the why? Man, I just keep going. But like 571 00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:23,200 Speaker 1: James me, knowing your story, I totally understand. You know again, 572 00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:25,840 Speaker 1: you know why you would be you know, indulge in 573 00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:28,520 Speaker 1: having to uh you know, endure and go through all 574 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:30,480 Speaker 1: the ship you was dealing with you know what I'm saying. 575 00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:33,320 Speaker 1: But but then you know what for for people that's 576 00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:36,800 Speaker 1: dealing with that, like what's the what's the alternative? What? 577 00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:39,200 Speaker 1: What are the alternatives? You know, I know you didn't 578 00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:41,240 Speaker 1: really have them in that day, James, or at least 579 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:43,200 Speaker 1: you didn't know that you had them. But nowadays with 580 00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:46,360 Speaker 1: the Internet and in so much information at our disposal, 581 00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:49,200 Speaker 1: with our fingertips, like what what is the alternative? Even 582 00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:52,440 Speaker 1: though even though I did a lot of alcohol, I 583 00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:56,040 Speaker 1: didn't choose to do marijuana smoke weed like they did 584 00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:59,440 Speaker 1: on the daily. Um, you know, a lot of cats 585 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:05,080 Speaker 1: that hung with us didn't do either one. But in 586 00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:08,000 Speaker 1: due time they're gonna be like everybody funked up looking 587 00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:10,400 Speaker 1: like they're having a good time. Now they want to 588 00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:14,120 Speaker 1: try it. It's just you know, we you hang with 589 00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:16,880 Speaker 1: people now they want to do the ship that they 590 00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:19,720 Speaker 1: see in and that's all they did. Man, if you 591 00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:23,360 Speaker 1: stick to your guns, ain't doing drugs. Likely forward one 592 00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:26,160 Speaker 1: of the homies. He was one of the biggest cats 593 00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:28,960 Speaker 1: in the neighborhood. Never went to prison. Damn, Why is 594 00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:31,600 Speaker 1: this nigga so swollen? And they never met to prison 595 00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:34,880 Speaker 1: because he was a healthy. Motherfucker. He didn't do alcohol, 596 00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:37,320 Speaker 1: he didn't do we he didn't put that ship in 597 00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:41,480 Speaker 1: his body. M see what I'm saying. So it's the 598 00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:45,040 Speaker 1: choices that we made at that time doing it. Just 599 00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:47,880 Speaker 1: like the cast of the day, it's the choices that 600 00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:51,400 Speaker 1: they're making the people that they're hanging around bad influence. 601 00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:56,040 Speaker 1: So we don't have to. Yeah, but you see everybody 602 00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:59,480 Speaker 1: else doing something, so it's like fuck it, and everybody 603 00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:02,200 Speaker 1: is trying to cope and deal with something in their life. 604 00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:05,320 Speaker 1: The next person might be telling them, man, this is 605 00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:08,480 Speaker 1: what I do because I told them, mother nig I get. 606 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:10,960 Speaker 1: I don't give a funk who I shoot. I'm cool. 607 00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,280 Speaker 1: Let me say something real quick to me. A lot 608 00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:18,720 Speaker 1: of this stuff is systemic because if you go back, 609 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:21,120 Speaker 1: you can go back to the nineteen thirties. In the 610 00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:24,360 Speaker 1: black community. It seems like every decade we get a 611 00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:28,080 Speaker 1: tech with a new drug. In the sixties it was heroin. 612 00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,840 Speaker 1: I remember, you know, even two sixties and seventies it 613 00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:33,240 Speaker 1: was heroin. I would go into the back. I remember 614 00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:36,280 Speaker 1: living this apartment building when I was eight years old, right, 615 00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:38,120 Speaker 1: and I would go to the back and it would 616 00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:39,920 Speaker 1: be needles all over the place, and I remember I 617 00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:42,200 Speaker 1: was outside with my shoes off, planning. I remember my 618 00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:45,040 Speaker 1: mama snapped me up and beat my ass. I told 619 00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:47,240 Speaker 1: you don't walk off this house without no shoes on. 620 00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:50,360 Speaker 1: And I didn't understand. I was a little hid on 621 00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:53,360 Speaker 1: why she was so mad, mad mad, But she understood. 622 00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:55,320 Speaker 1: I stepped on one of them needles. I could work 623 00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:59,000 Speaker 1: around the overdose. You know, this was the seventies, you 624 00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:01,640 Speaker 1: know who those I believe the ades was around even 625 00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:03,400 Speaker 1: back then, but they didn't know what it was, you know, 626 00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:06,800 Speaker 1: but anything could have happened, right, and so we had 627 00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:10,960 Speaker 1: we went from heroin, we want to crack. Then they 628 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:13,880 Speaker 1: came back with the you know, with the peels because 629 00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:16,800 Speaker 1: if you remember in the eighties they went through a rash. 630 00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:19,880 Speaker 1: You know, this OPIOU epidemic is nothing new because at 631 00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:23,400 Speaker 1: one time they had hospitals pain management so to speak, 632 00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:25,680 Speaker 1: hospitals that opened up in and it was always in 633 00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:28,280 Speaker 1: the hood to where pretty much you going that motherfucker, 634 00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:30,440 Speaker 1: they gonna write you a prescription for whatever you want 635 00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:32,680 Speaker 1: to get. I mean they was taking quay, lose and 636 00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:35,680 Speaker 1: ship back then, you know, yeah, you know, and here 637 00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:38,400 Speaker 1: we go again. Did you get the lean and we've 638 00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:41,360 Speaker 1: lost so many. Then it's then it's just really pervasive 639 00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:44,800 Speaker 1: in the music, Like, um, I'm a three six Mafia fan. 640 00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:49,600 Speaker 1: They all no qualms, are telling you we snore, we snore, 641 00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:52,920 Speaker 1: we're sniffering, we're drinking, we're pouring up in his motherfucker. 642 00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:56,800 Speaker 1: Then in U g K what we're two of the 643 00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:59,760 Speaker 1: first you know acts that that made it known that 644 00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:03,800 Speaker 1: about snorting. You know they sport the cocaine. Because I'm 645 00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:06,120 Speaker 1: gonna tell you this my pops too. You know, my 646 00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:08,280 Speaker 1: pop is the sixties nigga when they wore the suits 647 00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:10,480 Speaker 1: and they had the pinky rings with the little they 648 00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:12,680 Speaker 1: got a cram and their pinky ring and ship and 649 00:33:12,720 --> 00:33:15,760 Speaker 1: they you know what I mean, doing that. My pop said, 650 00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:17,800 Speaker 1: he did that. Never once got a dig He said, Man, 651 00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:19,680 Speaker 1: I did that ship the party with the party. He said, 652 00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:21,120 Speaker 1: I don't know what they put in this ship. Now 653 00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:24,320 Speaker 1: I ain't working with him, but that's just what they did. 654 00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:26,280 Speaker 1: That was like some baller ship. When you know when 655 00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:29,800 Speaker 1: you that was a baller ship. Nigga happens ringing on 656 00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:31,800 Speaker 1: and he got him a Graham up and that motherfucker 657 00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:35,920 Speaker 1: and he just floating doing his thing. That was the same. 658 00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:38,880 Speaker 1: Excuse me, that was the same way when cocaine came out. 659 00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:43,320 Speaker 1: When cocaine came out, everybody was punching the workers. Everybody 660 00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:46,160 Speaker 1: can do a learner to and go to work and 661 00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:50,560 Speaker 1: be productive. Then when when they come with this other 662 00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:54,680 Speaker 1: ship and now they dope things and everybody stretching. Yeah, 663 00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:58,600 Speaker 1: you had every every hood had that guy to get 664 00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:02,640 Speaker 1: the new ship. And he always had a smoker, somebody 665 00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:07,920 Speaker 1: that smoked weed to test that ship. Yea, And they 666 00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:10,320 Speaker 1: went off a word of out from that one motherfucker 667 00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:14,000 Speaker 1: that tested and was bent over in the corner somewhere. 668 00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:18,480 Speaker 1: Now everybody want that drunk because you get fucked up. 669 00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:21,120 Speaker 1: That's what they're looking for. When they get high. They're 670 00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:23,239 Speaker 1: gonna spend their money so they can get sucked up. 671 00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:27,400 Speaker 1: And so think about go ahead, I'm sorry, James, go ahead. No, 672 00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:29,560 Speaker 1: I was just gonna say, and think about how how 673 00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:33,440 Speaker 1: cold it is today, bro. Nowadays with this fitting all ship. 674 00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:35,880 Speaker 1: Whoever got the ship that mother the hot pack the 675 00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:39,880 Speaker 1: niggas are dying from. They want that ship. That's some 676 00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:43,080 Speaker 1: cold ship. Whoever got the hot pack of catching bodies, 677 00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:44,799 Speaker 1: that's the ship that they want, you know what I mean. 678 00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:50,320 Speaker 1: And the fitting all is just such a new you know, Pariah, 679 00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:53,480 Speaker 1: It's such a new threat because it's so the instability 680 00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:55,680 Speaker 1: of it, you know what I mean, the ship all 681 00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:58,720 Speaker 1: over the place, Yeah, like just a little grain because 682 00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:01,200 Speaker 1: the ship be dope so fucked up, you know. And 683 00:35:01,239 --> 00:35:03,920 Speaker 1: even these pills with these faith, these rock seas and 684 00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:06,439 Speaker 1: these fake as ox seas and all of that ship 685 00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:09,160 Speaker 1: they should be having fitting all and ship all in it. 686 00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:12,960 Speaker 1: And you know that's how motherfucker's be o dn like 687 00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:15,080 Speaker 1: like you said, like you said, with culture though, because 688 00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:17,800 Speaker 1: think about the code that black you know what he said. 689 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:20,160 Speaker 1: I knew the purpose fake, but I ate it anyway, 690 00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:23,040 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. You know, and you don't 691 00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:25,360 Speaker 1: know what the fucking that bitch to be rap boys, 692 00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:28,239 Speaker 1: you don't know what it is. And you know what, 693 00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:31,000 Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you something. I was told to one 694 00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:33,480 Speaker 1: of my own boys the other day and he was 695 00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:35,839 Speaker 1: told about his nineteen year old like the smoke weed 696 00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:37,319 Speaker 1: and ship like that. Right, he was like, I'm a 697 00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:39,480 Speaker 1: whoop his ass. I said, Bro, I'm gonna tell you something. 698 00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:42,480 Speaker 1: You're almost better off because that niggas go smoke weed 699 00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:44,359 Speaker 1: if you want twenty way or now, you're almost better 700 00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:46,400 Speaker 1: off going to get dispensing. Just get this ship for 701 00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:47,759 Speaker 1: him and say, nig, don't do that ship and this 702 00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:49,560 Speaker 1: I was here, you go, because I'm gonna tell you 703 00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:52,279 Speaker 1: they're gonna try it anyway. Bro. Yeah, we can sit 704 00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:54,279 Speaker 1: up here, his parents, We can sit up here as 705 00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:58,200 Speaker 1: parents and look at our kids through rose colored lenses 706 00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:02,759 Speaker 1: just like we went off the right ship. Yeah, big experiment. 707 00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:04,560 Speaker 1: You just up on my kids and know what the 708 00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:08,480 Speaker 1: time and he was, man, just behind nobody. Don't be passed, 709 00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:11,960 Speaker 1: no joints with no motherfucker because give some to the 710 00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,000 Speaker 1: here you walking around this motherfucker, you'll be stuck in 711 00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:18,120 Speaker 1: the twelfth dimension. I know. I know. People just smoke 712 00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:20,960 Speaker 1: ship that never came back from it. Mind in the 713 00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:23,960 Speaker 1: right sense, you know. And and I think that's important 714 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:26,040 Speaker 1: to like what you the point that you're making. Man, 715 00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:28,160 Speaker 1: we have to be one hunted with our kids. You know, 716 00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:30,480 Speaker 1: the same thing with my kids. You know, my kids, 717 00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:32,399 Speaker 1: especially my oldest daughter. You know, I had my first 718 00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:36,080 Speaker 1: shot when I was sixteen, and you know I laced her. 719 00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:38,600 Speaker 1: I raised her like almost like an oldest son. You 720 00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:41,239 Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. And you know I told her 721 00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:44,359 Speaker 1: about drugs and weed. I mean, truth be told. You know, 722 00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:47,480 Speaker 1: WE was my hustle back then, so I even, you know, 723 00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:50,279 Speaker 1: to an extent, exposed her to that side of it 724 00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:52,400 Speaker 1: of getting money, you know. I mean, you know, there's 725 00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:54,839 Speaker 1: no handbook for parenting, you know what I mean, that's 726 00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:59,120 Speaker 1: what happens. But um, you know, and I always told her, man, 727 00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:00,960 Speaker 1: let the things have to have it, you know. Now 728 00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:03,960 Speaker 1: fast forward. You know, my daughter thirty years old, she's 729 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,839 Speaker 1: a grown woman. I respect her. She smokes weed. That's 730 00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:09,920 Speaker 1: her choice, you know, Um, and I don't judge her 731 00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:12,080 Speaker 1: about it. You know what I'm saying. Uh, you know, 732 00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:14,359 Speaker 1: she can't smoke in our house when she's over. She 733 00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:17,920 Speaker 1: asked her to step out, smoke outside, be respectful. But 734 00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:21,040 Speaker 1: you know, I think that you know, and you know, 735 00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:22,759 Speaker 1: back in the day, they used to say WE was 736 00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:27,600 Speaker 1: a gateway drug. Um. I don't know that to be true, 737 00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:30,080 Speaker 1: but I believe for some people it can be with 738 00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:34,080 Speaker 1: addictive personalities and people like James said that could be 739 00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:38,040 Speaker 1: dealing with you know, some type of self medication situation. 740 00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:41,000 Speaker 1: And they wanted to hire. You know, we was the beginning. 741 00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:43,000 Speaker 1: How can I get hired? How can I get hired? 742 00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:46,280 Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, so um, you know, but 743 00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:48,360 Speaker 1: but like I keep saying, you know, what is the 744 00:37:49,239 --> 00:37:51,800 Speaker 1: what is the alternative? You know? You know it's that 745 00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:55,600 Speaker 1: are listening, Like what could be the you know instead 746 00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:58,239 Speaker 1: of trying to self medicate and and and get high 747 00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:00,279 Speaker 1: and try to run away from your problem? Was like, 748 00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:03,280 Speaker 1: what do they do? You know? Do they get help? 749 00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:05,880 Speaker 1: What are they running from? Do they go talk to somebody? 750 00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:08,919 Speaker 1: Do you know what? What? What advice will we get them? 751 00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:11,799 Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying? You know what I think 752 00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:15,840 Speaker 1: you have to be very open and honest with your children. Again, 753 00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:18,160 Speaker 1: I know plenty of pearans to put the rose colored 754 00:38:18,239 --> 00:38:20,600 Speaker 1: lands on. And I'm gonna tell you the way society 755 00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:22,480 Speaker 1: use everybody and knew what your kids are doing, but 756 00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:24,360 Speaker 1: you you'll be sitting up there be the only dumbass 757 00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:27,920 Speaker 1: sitting in La la land and not knowing what's going on. 758 00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:30,319 Speaker 1: You have to give your kids to reel about stuff 759 00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:31,799 Speaker 1: and tell them maybe look, if you try that, you 760 00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:35,040 Speaker 1: may die. Because my biggest thing if I was always 761 00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:37,400 Speaker 1: scared of death because when I was younger, I was 762 00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:40,600 Speaker 1: allowed the opportunity to experiment. The big thing in Ohio 763 00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:43,160 Speaker 1: was what all the white homies would do. They would 764 00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:46,239 Speaker 1: be on that black tar heroin. They would had that 765 00:38:46,239 --> 00:38:48,960 Speaker 1: black tar heir when it was cheap, like everybody had 766 00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:50,759 Speaker 1: that ship and they would be in their smoking that ship. 767 00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:53,440 Speaker 1: They tried to get me to try that ship one day, 768 00:38:53,440 --> 00:38:55,600 Speaker 1: but I remember talking to my pops about that anything 769 00:38:55,640 --> 00:38:58,320 Speaker 1: they had h and I wasn't working with it. Well, 770 00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:00,200 Speaker 1: I was like, I'm cool on that. I don't want 771 00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:01,959 Speaker 1: none of that ship because I see how this nig 772 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,800 Speaker 1: over in the corner doing this, he nodding off and ship. 773 00:39:05,239 --> 00:39:07,120 Speaker 1: I didn't want to funk with it. So my thing 774 00:39:07,239 --> 00:39:10,719 Speaker 1: was this. I actually tried weed when I was younger 775 00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:12,719 Speaker 1: and didn't funk with it. I just I didn't. It 776 00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:15,600 Speaker 1: wasn't for me. My pops is my pop smoke weed 777 00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:17,840 Speaker 1: back then and still is a regular weed smoker. And 778 00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:20,880 Speaker 1: that motherfucker was an account one of the sharpest do was. 779 00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:23,080 Speaker 1: I know, I've never known him to do the other ship. 780 00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:24,879 Speaker 1: He told me said, yeah, in the sixties, I did 781 00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:27,160 Speaker 1: this and that. But my pops ain't never been no 782 00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:30,600 Speaker 1: fiend as nigga. But he he got his little um, 783 00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:33,120 Speaker 1: his little cigar box the crib with his little weed 784 00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:35,720 Speaker 1: and he brought them up with joint. He's sitting if smoked, 785 00:39:35,719 --> 00:39:39,520 Speaker 1: that motherfucker with his woman and watch TV and going 786 00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:42,680 Speaker 1: about his business right and pop on upstairs. You know. So, 787 00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:45,200 Speaker 1: I think the biggest thing quote we have to do 788 00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:49,359 Speaker 1: is realized, man, that we are under attack, and the 789 00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:52,040 Speaker 1: only way we go continue standing under the attack if 790 00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:55,200 Speaker 1: we don't start keeping the reel with ourselves and start saying, man, look, 791 00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:58,279 Speaker 1: we gotta start making different choices. We gotta start looking 792 00:39:58,320 --> 00:40:01,880 Speaker 1: at alternatives. U. We have to start expressing our feelings 793 00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:05,680 Speaker 1: because black men have a tendency the car departmentalized ship. 794 00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:07,960 Speaker 1: But we have ship in our mind and we just 795 00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:11,000 Speaker 1: keep it in there and anything. It's like anything else. 796 00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:13,919 Speaker 1: If we feel the water balloon up to full water, 797 00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:16,200 Speaker 1: what's gonna happen. This will eventually explode. That's what happened. 798 00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:19,080 Speaker 1: That's when people have nervous breakdowns. That's when you see 799 00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:21,640 Speaker 1: the little rampages that you see. That's why you see 800 00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:23,839 Speaker 1: so much real rage. Now the people actually don't got 801 00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:26,120 Speaker 1: a problem with each other, but motherfucker, the stress level 802 00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:28,839 Speaker 1: is so high. It's just that person in that car 803 00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:30,480 Speaker 1: that might have cut you off, that may not be 804 00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:32,759 Speaker 1: thinking about you. He laid for work, so he's trying 805 00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:34,319 Speaker 1: to get the work. He go around you and cut 806 00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:37,439 Speaker 1: you off. You're mad. Now you chased this motherfucker down 807 00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:38,880 Speaker 1: up the road and you're open his ask when he 808 00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:40,600 Speaker 1: get off the car, you might get shot and lose 809 00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:44,200 Speaker 1: your life all because you didn't have nobody to talk to. 810 00:40:44,239 --> 00:40:46,440 Speaker 1: You didn't want to express your feelings. You know what 811 00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:49,279 Speaker 1: I mean, Because you think about it, life can be 812 00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:51,759 Speaker 1: stressful in the motherfucker. You've got people especially and what 813 00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:55,600 Speaker 1: were yet right now, You've got people whose financial who 814 00:40:55,719 --> 00:40:59,160 Speaker 1: financially have not recovered since COVID. Because I'm gonna tell 815 00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:01,319 Speaker 1: you one thing, had that king about COVID and all 816 00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:04,400 Speaker 1: that stimulus money. You had some people that was making 817 00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:07,040 Speaker 1: more money than they ever made. You know, you had 818 00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:09,560 Speaker 1: a guy that worked at McDonald's. He getting unemployment. Now 819 00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:12,080 Speaker 1: now he's getting eight hundred of thousand dollars a week. 820 00:41:12,719 --> 00:41:15,880 Speaker 1: To him, that's the world. Now, he don't want to 821 00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:18,200 Speaker 1: go back to that job. But mcdownalds or that job. 822 00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:21,600 Speaker 1: But mcdownalds ain't dead for him no more. And he's depressed. 823 00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:24,080 Speaker 1: When you can't take care of your family and provide 824 00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:26,040 Speaker 1: a lot, a lot, he said, I remember the darkest 825 00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:29,640 Speaker 1: period I had, man and I suffered from depression, and 826 00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:32,200 Speaker 1: I've been very open about it. I was suffered from depression. 827 00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:35,680 Speaker 1: Before the darkest period I've ever had, I was working 828 00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:38,880 Speaker 1: for a publishing company. I was making a quarter million 829 00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:41,359 Speaker 1: dollars a year. I was doing my thing. I had 830 00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:43,359 Speaker 1: a black card or whatever I wanted to go get 831 00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:45,399 Speaker 1: it if I would, and bought a ten thousand dollars suit. 832 00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:48,360 Speaker 1: They won. Question. We was making a lot of money 833 00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:52,760 Speaker 1: back then. Um, I was getting a lot of money 834 00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:55,480 Speaker 1: from other little stuff. You know, I'm managing glasses and 835 00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:58,359 Speaker 1: glasses and cracking at that time, so I'm getting money 836 00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:00,480 Speaker 1: from everywhere. I'm getting money and nothing lumps, you know 837 00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:02,879 Speaker 1: what I mean. I got good money. I remember when 838 00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:07,800 Speaker 1: I lost that job. I lost my identity almost and 839 00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:10,560 Speaker 1: I said after that, it was hard for me to 840 00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:13,200 Speaker 1: go back because I was making money even before that, right, 841 00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:16,359 Speaker 1: it was hard for me to go back to the 842 00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:20,080 Speaker 1: idea of what am I going to do now? Because 843 00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:24,359 Speaker 1: when you're in the industry, you know this cord that's 844 00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:26,760 Speaker 1: the best time to get a job. I had people 845 00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:29,279 Speaker 1: from Turtle Music offer me jobs. I had people from 846 00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:32,440 Speaker 1: Universal Music offer me jobs. I wouldn't leave because they 847 00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:34,799 Speaker 1: couldn't max with that one company was giving me right. 848 00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:38,799 Speaker 1: So once I lost that job and I kind of 849 00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:42,600 Speaker 1: was being arrogant, my u brisk. I can do that 850 00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:45,600 Speaker 1: now through constling years later and say that was my fault, 851 00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:48,840 Speaker 1: because you know what, I remember when they closed the 852 00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:50,920 Speaker 1: office down, the lady told me, she said, well you 853 00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:54,480 Speaker 1: can continue working from the house. But I was so 854 00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:56,640 Speaker 1: arrogant like that. You know, They're gonna cut my pin 855 00:42:56,719 --> 00:42:58,080 Speaker 1: in half and I'm gonna work at the house, ain'tle 856 00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:01,920 Speaker 1: I got something that ass. I quit calling them from 857 00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:04,200 Speaker 1: them everybody else. So what you're doing in mind right now? 858 00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:07,680 Speaker 1: Oh well I'm no longer with them. Oh let me 859 00:43:07,680 --> 00:43:10,400 Speaker 1: get back with you. And I learned how the industry 860 00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:13,880 Speaker 1: work because those people and actually wanted me. They wanted 861 00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:15,160 Speaker 1: me to go, and there appeal for some of the 862 00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:18,239 Speaker 1: people I brought over there. You gotta remember I'd had 863 00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:21,120 Speaker 1: my first platinum record with the ice cream paining job ship, 864 00:43:21,239 --> 00:43:25,000 Speaker 1: right that was. I had something to do with that record. 865 00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:28,600 Speaker 1: I signed that producer. I found him and actually you know, 866 00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:31,400 Speaker 1: helped put that whole thing together. Um, we had some 867 00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:34,200 Speaker 1: other stuff going on. We had an opportunity at that 868 00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:37,799 Speaker 1: time to sign Kenfred Lamar they passed on. We could 869 00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:40,279 Speaker 1: have actually signed the whole TV roster. They passed on it. 870 00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:43,200 Speaker 1: You know, when I thought about all that stuff, and man, 871 00:43:43,719 --> 00:43:45,879 Speaker 1: I was just kind of stuck. Man Like, I went 872 00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:50,360 Speaker 1: through a period of um where I was just almost 873 00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:52,759 Speaker 1: the only way I could describe it as a mobilarity, 874 00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:56,400 Speaker 1: to where I just couldn't move. I was just like stuck. 875 00:43:56,800 --> 00:44:01,560 Speaker 1: Every day I woke up at twelve o'clock, kind of 876 00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:04,439 Speaker 1: walked around his motherfucking the days. Man, you know, would 877 00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:06,400 Speaker 1: go sometimes a day or two it. I was washing 878 00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:09,200 Speaker 1: my ass dog, and I was just gained a bunch 879 00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:12,120 Speaker 1: of fucking weight. The little bit of money I did. 880 00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:13,920 Speaker 1: That is when you got it. Back then, I wouldn't 881 00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:16,279 Speaker 1: save the ship dog, and I was thinking, you know, 882 00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:17,880 Speaker 1: when I put the job, but I just traded. I 883 00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:20,040 Speaker 1: got this man, that money went so fucking fast because 884 00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:22,480 Speaker 1: you still have those same bills, and you still have 885 00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:25,640 Speaker 1: the same lifestyle, you know, And when you wake up 886 00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:28,160 Speaker 1: a look outside and see tolds getting cars getting told 887 00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:30,520 Speaker 1: off the driveway and ship they came to the point, dog, 888 00:44:30,560 --> 00:44:32,319 Speaker 1: I even get a funk. I sat up here and 889 00:44:32,320 --> 00:44:34,239 Speaker 1: watched them, told my escalator way, and I was just 890 00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:39,640 Speaker 1: so fucking just stuck, man, And you really, you know, 891 00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:44,640 Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you. That's where my wife leaned being 892 00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:47,960 Speaker 1: on me. And she started telling me, hey, let's go 893 00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:51,000 Speaker 1: to church. You know, I don't wanna go to church. 894 00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:53,800 Speaker 1: Once I started going back to my roofs dog and 895 00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:57,600 Speaker 1: hearing the word of God, I realized that I turned 896 00:44:57,600 --> 00:45:01,000 Speaker 1: into a man that I didn't want to be. I 897 00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:04,439 Speaker 1: wasn't no good to my family. Um. I went back 898 00:45:04,440 --> 00:45:06,319 Speaker 1: in the regular world for a minute. Court. I went 899 00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:09,240 Speaker 1: and got me a job. You know what I realized, 900 00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:10,759 Speaker 1: I said, you know what, I got an education. I'm 901 00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:12,279 Speaker 1: gonna get me a job, you know what I mean. 902 00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:14,719 Speaker 1: So I wouldn't have got me a sales job. And 903 00:45:14,719 --> 00:45:17,040 Speaker 1: I went back into regular world for a little bit. Man, 904 00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:21,480 Speaker 1: I started coaching my son's football team. And so really 905 00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:23,840 Speaker 1: were most people leaning the drugs. I leaned in the 906 00:45:23,840 --> 00:45:28,040 Speaker 1: guy the family. Yeah, I'm leaning the guy of family. 907 00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:31,120 Speaker 1: And my wife she really helped me through that period. Dog, 908 00:45:31,440 --> 00:45:33,600 Speaker 1: She really helped because it was a very dark period 909 00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:36,040 Speaker 1: for me. Ain't thinking happened. Dog. I thought of killing 910 00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:39,120 Speaker 1: myself because I I was identifying. You know, I went 911 00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:42,680 Speaker 1: from being this provider to where whenever she needed something. 912 00:45:42,680 --> 00:45:44,959 Speaker 1: Dog Like my wife, you know, when my daughter was born, 913 00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:46,680 Speaker 1: she took two years off of work. You know, it 914 00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:49,480 Speaker 1: was like, you don't worry about that. You gotta think 915 00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:51,799 Speaker 1: about the court. At that time, when I had my 916 00:45:51,920 --> 00:45:55,600 Speaker 1: situation with Mind of Music, they assigned me as a 917 00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:58,160 Speaker 1: writer and I had a couple of deals. I had 918 00:45:58,200 --> 00:45:59,880 Speaker 1: to deal with a company called Peak would go for 919 00:45:59,880 --> 00:46:02,360 Speaker 1: an England and they were paying me nine dollars a 920 00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:06,000 Speaker 1: record nine nine hours, but nine pounds a record. At 921 00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:08,200 Speaker 1: that time, the pound was like two to one, so 922 00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:10,480 Speaker 1: I was wind up getting seventeen dollars a record. So 923 00:46:10,520 --> 00:46:12,880 Speaker 1: I wasn't doing them selling five six thousand pieces. But 924 00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:15,640 Speaker 1: I was releasing albums every three months. I was distributing 925 00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:18,120 Speaker 1: all that you know Big eight during that time, I 926 00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:21,360 Speaker 1: was distripping all the dog ship over there. So I 927 00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:23,719 Speaker 1: just had an abundance of money because I got these 928 00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:26,200 Speaker 1: people paying me a quarter million dollars a year. I'm 929 00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:28,960 Speaker 1: making about thirty forty rats a month from just selling 930 00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:32,440 Speaker 1: records dog overseas at the time. And then what happened 931 00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:36,280 Speaker 1: was that ship slowed these you remember when Drama got busted. Yeah, 932 00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:39,000 Speaker 1: but drama got cracked. That's when all that ship, even 933 00:46:39,040 --> 00:46:41,920 Speaker 1: though my ship was legitimate, anything that you didn't talk 934 00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:44,719 Speaker 1: about drama from Atlanta. Yeah, when he got busted with 935 00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:47,160 Speaker 1: all that stuff, I was doing the same stuff he 936 00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:49,080 Speaker 1: was doing, but I was doing it with legal stuff. 937 00:46:49,080 --> 00:46:51,840 Speaker 1: But they were records that wasn't necessarily cleared from the 938 00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:54,680 Speaker 1: label like Das. You know he had ship was distributing 939 00:46:54,719 --> 00:46:57,960 Speaker 1: snoops mixtapes and you know you figured like this, you 940 00:46:57,960 --> 00:47:00,799 Speaker 1: know Big eight, Big eight I was a CD. He 941 00:47:00,880 --> 00:47:04,040 Speaker 1: cool with that. I'm I'm talking and he was on 942 00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:06,719 Speaker 1: the CDs because it's just us lying, ribbing nobody. But 943 00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:09,239 Speaker 1: it's an usle Dog. I used to walk around dog, 944 00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:11,879 Speaker 1: and then I was do tours over in Japan and stuff. Bro. 945 00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:15,480 Speaker 1: I would come back home with just rows of money 946 00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:19,080 Speaker 1: dog Like. I remember one time he got so bad man. 947 00:47:19,120 --> 00:47:21,839 Speaker 1: Remember when he used to win him to both chains. Yeah, 948 00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:25,200 Speaker 1: I remember one time I had like thirty five dollars 949 00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:26,880 Speaker 1: in one of my pockets and my wife watched them 950 00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:28,680 Speaker 1: and the money got kind of fucked up. I wasn't 951 00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:31,880 Speaker 1: like shot. I gave that ship to my kids though. Yeah, 952 00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:33,880 Speaker 1: it was just like that dog. I didn't have no 953 00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:36,640 Speaker 1: respect to what was going on. And when you lose 954 00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:38,960 Speaker 1: that dog, and I'm gonna tell you God got away, man. 955 00:47:38,960 --> 00:47:41,239 Speaker 1: And when your eagle get out of control, God has 956 00:47:41,239 --> 00:47:44,399 Speaker 1: a way of stripping you down to your very minimum dog. Okay, 957 00:47:44,440 --> 00:47:46,480 Speaker 1: you don't want to listen, I'm about to strip your 958 00:47:46,480 --> 00:47:48,879 Speaker 1: ass down and and make you back. You know, people, 959 00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:51,879 Speaker 1: you're back up again. I learned. I learned a less 960 00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:56,400 Speaker 1: than humility dog. And it really was a very humbling 961 00:47:56,560 --> 00:47:59,520 Speaker 1: and life changing experience. Because that's why I talked to 962 00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:02,560 Speaker 1: people when I when I tell people, oh man, somebody 963 00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:04,320 Speaker 1: to kill themselves. That week I was saying all that 964 00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:06,000 Speaker 1: in that week, bro, I said, you can you don't 965 00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:08,280 Speaker 1: never know what no men and going through. When you're depressing, 966 00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:12,000 Speaker 1: you are in a black hole. Literally, you feel no happiness, 967 00:48:12,760 --> 00:48:15,200 Speaker 1: You don't want to be living and and you know 968 00:48:15,840 --> 00:48:20,000 Speaker 1: suicide that that happens when you're coping. Mechanisms have failed, 969 00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:23,040 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. When you lose hope, um, 970 00:48:23,080 --> 00:48:25,279 Speaker 1: you know, And I think like sometimes what people have 971 00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:27,880 Speaker 1: to understand is when you can identify a purpose in 972 00:48:27,880 --> 00:48:31,000 Speaker 1: your life. When you identify a purpose, then you tend 973 00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:33,880 Speaker 1: to make you know different choices. You know, what I'm saying. 974 00:48:34,080 --> 00:48:37,600 Speaker 1: Um but yeah, you know that depression ship. Like you said, 975 00:48:37,640 --> 00:48:39,719 Speaker 1: it's a it's a it's a dark hole. And you know, 976 00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:43,120 Speaker 1: after my mom passed away, I went into a deep depression. 977 00:48:43,160 --> 00:48:45,560 Speaker 1: And like you said, I used to you know, everybody 978 00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:47,279 Speaker 1: else in the house would get up. My kids will 979 00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:49,759 Speaker 1: go to school, my wife will go to work. I 980 00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:52,200 Speaker 1: would just lay in the in the room, sometimes with 981 00:48:52,239 --> 00:48:54,439 Speaker 1: the TV not not on, you know what I mean. 982 00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:57,759 Speaker 1: And and I can remember when everybody would come home, 983 00:48:57,800 --> 00:48:59,439 Speaker 1: I would get up and act like I've been doing 984 00:48:59,440 --> 00:49:01,840 Speaker 1: some ship like you know what I mean. And you 985 00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:03,640 Speaker 1: know my money was straight at the time, so I 986 00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:06,520 Speaker 1: didn't necessarily have to be doing anything. But you know, 987 00:49:06,760 --> 00:49:09,520 Speaker 1: um man, that was the U you know, a really 988 00:49:09,560 --> 00:49:11,960 Speaker 1: bad time. But you know, at the end of the day, 989 00:49:12,120 --> 00:49:14,480 Speaker 1: you know again in this world, because you know this 990 00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:16,680 Speaker 1: world as a motherfucker, it would beat you down and 991 00:49:16,719 --> 00:49:18,680 Speaker 1: it will hold you down to keep you down. This 992 00:49:18,760 --> 00:49:21,720 Speaker 1: world would literally stick its long arm to the elbow, 993 00:49:21,840 --> 00:49:24,160 Speaker 1: up your ass and wave you around like a puppet. 994 00:49:24,200 --> 00:49:27,359 Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. And and and so what 995 00:49:27,400 --> 00:49:31,080 Speaker 1: I found is you you have to be mentally strong, 996 00:49:31,600 --> 00:49:35,640 Speaker 1: spiritually strong, emostly strong, physically strong in this world, you 997 00:49:35,680 --> 00:49:37,879 Speaker 1: know what I mean. And I think a lot of people, 998 00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:39,920 Speaker 1: like I said, you have to do your work. I 999 00:49:39,920 --> 00:49:41,759 Speaker 1: had to learn to do my work. Like you deal 1000 00:49:41,800 --> 00:49:44,600 Speaker 1: with anxiety. You know. Anxiety is worried about ship that 1001 00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:48,440 Speaker 1: ain't even happened. You're you're worried about the future. You know, depression. 1002 00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:50,520 Speaker 1: A lot of times you're stuck in the past. You're 1003 00:49:50,520 --> 00:49:54,520 Speaker 1: worried about ship you can't even change. It ain't even 1004 00:49:54,560 --> 00:49:57,120 Speaker 1: exist anymore, you know what I mean. So I think 1005 00:49:57,320 --> 00:50:01,200 Speaker 1: when you consider yourself and and and find and be present, 1006 00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:03,960 Speaker 1: and then you know almost like the a A say 1007 00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:06,520 Speaker 1: what they saying that they say, you know, uh, what 1008 00:50:06,680 --> 00:50:11,360 Speaker 1: is it? You know accepted things? You cannot change that 1009 00:50:11,480 --> 00:50:13,520 Speaker 1: And that's the real that's the truth. You know, you 1010 00:50:13,560 --> 00:50:15,640 Speaker 1: have to be president. And I think, like I say, 1011 00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:18,000 Speaker 1: when you feel like you have something to live for 1012 00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:20,480 Speaker 1: and you have a purpose. That's why I tell people, man, 1013 00:50:20,560 --> 00:50:22,440 Speaker 1: be a purpose chase and not a paper chaser. You 1014 00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:25,319 Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, Because you know, chasing money that 1015 00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:30,000 Speaker 1: that that don't give you nothing. You know, money, But 1016 00:50:30,040 --> 00:50:33,080 Speaker 1: when you identify a purpose, when you really feel like, damn, 1017 00:50:33,520 --> 00:50:37,880 Speaker 1: I'm here for something, and then you're giving. Sometimes giving 1018 00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:40,840 Speaker 1: is just affecting other people, you know, because people remember 1019 00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:43,520 Speaker 1: how they how you made them feel. People don't remember 1020 00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:45,840 Speaker 1: the car you had, the jury you had, all that bullshit, 1021 00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:47,839 Speaker 1: but people remember how you made them feel. And that's 1022 00:50:47,880 --> 00:50:51,600 Speaker 1: your leg. So and then and then sometimes just got 1023 00:50:51,640 --> 00:50:56,040 Speaker 1: damn meditate. I meditate every day and I take inventory 1024 00:50:56,160 --> 00:50:59,000 Speaker 1: on my life, right, I think about, you know, the 1025 00:50:59,040 --> 00:51:01,840 Speaker 1: things that I need, the things that I don't, situations 1026 00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:04,640 Speaker 1: and different things like that to try to so so 1027 00:51:04,760 --> 00:51:07,279 Speaker 1: you know, unfuncked my mind and keep it as clear 1028 00:51:07,280 --> 00:51:10,560 Speaker 1: as possible. So I think that, you know, and I'm 1029 00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:14,040 Speaker 1: saying all this to say, these are tools, and these 1030 00:51:14,080 --> 00:51:16,560 Speaker 1: are ways that people can train their minds where they 1031 00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:19,720 Speaker 1: don't have to the further drugs. You know what I'm saying. 1032 00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:22,480 Speaker 1: Just deal with your ship, sift through your ship. And 1033 00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:25,280 Speaker 1: I know for some you know, it may be easier 1034 00:51:25,440 --> 00:51:28,800 Speaker 1: said than done. You know, everybody's you know, mental for 1035 00:51:28,960 --> 00:51:31,840 Speaker 1: to tow and emotional intelligence isn't developed like that, but 1036 00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:35,160 Speaker 1: with practice it can be. Because see, the language that 1037 00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:39,600 Speaker 1: I'm giving now is not something that I knew years ago. 1038 00:51:39,719 --> 00:51:42,719 Speaker 1: This is over time, you know what I'm saying. Hopefully 1039 00:51:42,840 --> 00:51:45,359 Speaker 1: I could share it with somebody that's going through it 1040 00:51:45,440 --> 00:51:48,120 Speaker 1: now and they could hear it and it could inspire 1041 00:51:48,160 --> 00:51:50,440 Speaker 1: them to say, oh shift, I'm not alone. Because depression 1042 00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:53,320 Speaker 1: will make you have make you feel like you by yourself, 1043 00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:57,160 Speaker 1: like like God is picking on you, like like God 1044 00:51:57,239 --> 00:51:59,959 Speaker 1: don't like me. He just sucking over me and every 1045 00:52:00,040 --> 00:52:02,799 Speaker 1: body else. You know. But you know, people, you know, 1046 00:52:02,840 --> 00:52:06,160 Speaker 1: everybody's fighting a battle that you know, our battles that 1047 00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:08,200 Speaker 1: know what body knows about you know what I'm saying. 1048 00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:11,640 Speaker 1: One thing I found without man with dealing with my therapist, 1049 00:52:11,719 --> 00:52:14,800 Speaker 1: right because you know your therapist still go to therapy 1050 00:52:14,960 --> 00:52:17,799 Speaker 1: twice a month now, you know, because there's certain things 1051 00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:20,640 Speaker 1: that man, we need to have conversation sometimes with people 1052 00:52:21,040 --> 00:52:23,279 Speaker 1: that you may nothing necessarily I could talk to my 1053 00:52:23,280 --> 00:52:25,520 Speaker 1: wife about anything, but some stuff I can't talk to 1054 00:52:25,560 --> 00:52:27,440 Speaker 1: my wife about. Everything is some stuff. As a man 1055 00:52:27,480 --> 00:52:29,440 Speaker 1: that I go through the shot will have no clue 1056 00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:33,359 Speaker 1: to show, you know, you know, he's supposed to let 1057 00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:36,359 Speaker 1: them know. We gotta shoulder that ships as unhealthy as 1058 00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:37,880 Speaker 1: it is, that's just what it is. You know what 1059 00:52:37,880 --> 00:52:41,439 Speaker 1: I'm saying. That's us as protector. Sometimes we gotta protect them, 1060 00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:44,640 Speaker 1: you know, we may not know. It's been times where fuck, 1061 00:52:44,800 --> 00:52:46,960 Speaker 1: I don't know how I'm gonna do certain ship. I 1062 00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:49,480 Speaker 1: don't you know, ship maybe a little worse than what 1063 00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:52,360 Speaker 1: my old lady may know. But I showed her that, 1064 00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:53,880 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, because as a man, as 1065 00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:56,160 Speaker 1: a protector, that's what I do for my kids. I 1066 00:52:56,239 --> 00:52:58,520 Speaker 1: never wanted my kids or my old lady to be 1067 00:52:58,600 --> 00:53:01,839 Speaker 1: frettened about nothing. You and me, I've always been kind 1068 00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:05,560 Speaker 1: of a leader, right, So it's like with me, you know, 1069 00:53:05,640 --> 00:53:09,520 Speaker 1: even with me running this network, I have multiple families 1070 00:53:09,520 --> 00:53:12,440 Speaker 1: that depend on me, right, So I remember, man, I 1071 00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:16,440 Speaker 1: would like, really, I don't think people had no idea 1072 00:53:16,520 --> 00:53:19,560 Speaker 1: how many months I would forfeit getting paid to make 1073 00:53:19,600 --> 00:53:22,319 Speaker 1: sure that they had some money. And it's just not 1074 00:53:22,440 --> 00:53:25,000 Speaker 1: one person, you're talking about four or five different people. 1075 00:53:25,480 --> 00:53:27,759 Speaker 1: And my therapist told me one day, he said, you know, 1076 00:53:28,760 --> 00:53:31,400 Speaker 1: to dye on self, be true. You can't be a 1077 00:53:31,440 --> 00:53:33,520 Speaker 1: blessing to nobody if you funked up. You gotta make 1078 00:53:33,560 --> 00:53:35,120 Speaker 1: sure you straight or you're not gonna be able to 1079 00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:37,840 Speaker 1: help nobody. And then one thing he told me to 1080 00:53:38,400 --> 00:53:42,920 Speaker 1: is take responsibility for situations that you create. Because I 1081 00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:45,680 Speaker 1: remember at one time it led to me having a problem. 1082 00:53:45,719 --> 00:53:48,680 Speaker 1: I wanted to put everybody on that one time. Anybody 1083 00:53:48,680 --> 00:53:50,439 Speaker 1: that can't I wanted to put them on, but didn't. 1084 00:53:50,440 --> 00:53:54,799 Speaker 1: I realized everybody is not worth Everybody can't go. My 1085 00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:57,719 Speaker 1: mom used to tell me that everybody can't go. Everybody 1086 00:53:57,760 --> 00:54:00,200 Speaker 1: can't go. And it's been people that I love that 1087 00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:02,920 Speaker 1: I've had to ex out my life just because it 1088 00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:06,080 Speaker 1: was unhealthy for me to be around them. And it's 1089 00:54:06,160 --> 00:54:08,120 Speaker 1: just like I had to take care of me. I 1090 00:54:08,160 --> 00:54:09,880 Speaker 1: had to take care you know, if this person is 1091 00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:13,280 Speaker 1: not bringing nothing genuine to know the type of value, 1092 00:54:13,680 --> 00:54:16,040 Speaker 1: what is he wrong for? If he's you know, giving 1093 00:54:16,080 --> 00:54:19,799 Speaker 1: you bad information and making you feel even worse, why 1094 00:54:19,920 --> 00:54:23,600 Speaker 1: even have them around? Yeah, because you know a phrase 1095 00:54:23,640 --> 00:54:26,520 Speaker 1: of the addicts that misery loves company is very true. 1096 00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:28,600 Speaker 1: You would have people going to this stuff and they 1097 00:54:28,640 --> 00:54:31,160 Speaker 1: would track you down the stuff. It's like dog. One 1098 00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:32,920 Speaker 1: thing my uncle Doug told me, and I thought it 1099 00:54:32,960 --> 00:54:36,200 Speaker 1: was the coldest in the world. He told me. I 1100 00:54:36,280 --> 00:54:38,279 Speaker 1: asked him one day, man, what were your own? Boy? 1101 00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:40,080 Speaker 1: Let me when he said, man, I had to stop 1102 00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:42,320 Speaker 1: working with him myself. Why Because he said that motherfucker 1103 00:54:42,360 --> 00:54:45,120 Speaker 1: always got some ship going on. He said it just 1104 00:54:45,200 --> 00:54:47,719 Speaker 1: like that. He said, every time I leave them mother 1105 00:54:47,719 --> 00:54:50,680 Speaker 1: Funcker's house, I'm depressed. I stopped with him because he 1106 00:54:50,680 --> 00:54:53,839 Speaker 1: was an unlucky motherfucker, and I learned that that's real game. 1107 00:54:53,920 --> 00:54:57,080 Speaker 1: You have to not not that you get insensitive for people, 1108 00:54:57,160 --> 00:55:01,640 Speaker 1: but sometimes you need to hear. Everybody helps ship. I mean, 1109 00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:05,319 Speaker 1: energies are contagious. Energies are contagious, and sometimes you have 1110 00:55:05,400 --> 00:55:07,960 Speaker 1: to moderate that ship, like you could care for someone 1111 00:55:08,080 --> 00:55:10,279 Speaker 1: you know. But I always say, you don't have to 1112 00:55:10,719 --> 00:55:13,360 Speaker 1: set yourself on fire to keep other people warm, you 1113 00:55:13,360 --> 00:55:16,280 Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, Like you have to know you know, man, 1114 00:55:16,400 --> 00:55:19,400 Speaker 1: energy is is that's everything where we put out what 1115 00:55:19,560 --> 00:55:22,359 Speaker 1: we receive and we have to control that because yeah, 1116 00:55:22,440 --> 00:55:25,680 Speaker 1: that ship can be parasitic, especially when it's not reciprocated. 1117 00:55:25,920 --> 00:55:27,960 Speaker 1: You know what the energy is a motherfucker's it's like 1118 00:55:28,840 --> 00:55:32,000 Speaker 1: you know what I knowiced thumb. Whenever something good would happen, 1119 00:55:32,880 --> 00:55:35,520 Speaker 1: you get certain people that won't never call you. You 1120 00:55:35,520 --> 00:55:38,040 Speaker 1: don't hear from something good, but the moment they think 1121 00:55:38,080 --> 00:55:40,680 Speaker 1: they found something where they gotta barrel over you. Oh man, 1122 00:55:40,760 --> 00:55:43,200 Speaker 1: you saw it with such a suckceed about you, so 1123 00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:45,279 Speaker 1: with such and such they send you missed, just the 1124 00:55:45,440 --> 00:55:47,080 Speaker 1: videos and ship. It's like I have to tell the 1125 00:55:47,160 --> 00:55:49,840 Speaker 1: motherfucker's stop sending me ship. Man. I got a computer 1126 00:55:49,920 --> 00:55:51,399 Speaker 1: with this motherfucker. I don't need to see that ship. 1127 00:55:51,400 --> 00:55:54,320 Speaker 1: I don't care about what they said. I entertained myself 1128 00:55:54,320 --> 00:55:57,759 Speaker 1: with that stuff. Let them do what they go do. Yeah, 1129 00:55:58,320 --> 00:56:00,160 Speaker 1: let them do what they go doing. Another thing I've 1130 00:56:00,239 --> 00:56:05,440 Speaker 1: learned in therapy to court is that you have to 1131 00:56:05,480 --> 00:56:11,239 Speaker 1: take time out for yourself sometimes. I've learned. Man. My 1132 00:56:11,320 --> 00:56:13,279 Speaker 1: therapist told me one day, he said, I want you 1133 00:56:13,280 --> 00:56:15,399 Speaker 1: to cut your phone off. You know, I don't mean 1134 00:56:15,480 --> 00:56:17,479 Speaker 1: just cut your phone off for a thing. I want 1135 00:56:17,520 --> 00:56:19,400 Speaker 1: you to just cut this buttfuck off outside. You know, 1136 00:56:19,400 --> 00:56:21,600 Speaker 1: because my mama got my wife's number. You' wanna get me, 1137 00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:24,960 Speaker 1: he said, cut your phone off a week. I've learned. 1138 00:56:25,239 --> 00:56:28,120 Speaker 1: The worst thing in our lives right now is this 1139 00:56:28,239 --> 00:56:32,400 Speaker 1: motherfucker right here, because for the first time in history, 1140 00:56:33,040 --> 00:56:36,200 Speaker 1: do you remember when we just had home phones? James, Yeah, 1141 00:56:36,920 --> 00:56:39,440 Speaker 1: Moco call your house. They catch you when they catch you, right, 1142 00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:43,840 Speaker 1: But you know, when you land up with your wife somewhere, 1143 00:56:43,880 --> 00:56:46,879 Speaker 1: your kids and Disneyland, that motherfucker ring the first thing 1144 00:56:46,920 --> 00:56:49,960 Speaker 1: you want to do is what's that Now you wind 1145 00:56:50,040 --> 00:56:51,879 Speaker 1: up spending the time next you can have with your family. 1146 00:56:51,880 --> 00:56:53,839 Speaker 1: And I'm gonna tell you something. Time is the most 1147 00:56:53,920 --> 00:56:57,040 Speaker 1: precious commodity on this planet because when we lose time 1148 00:56:57,120 --> 00:56:59,799 Speaker 1: court we are never going to get that time back. 1149 00:56:59,840 --> 00:57:01,680 Speaker 1: You can't get it back. It's not like you've got 1150 00:57:01,719 --> 00:57:03,960 Speaker 1: time banked up somewhere. Well you know what, I'm gonna 1151 00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:06,160 Speaker 1: go take me a couple of months out or I 1152 00:57:06,200 --> 00:57:08,080 Speaker 1: want to do that. No, you're not gonna get that 1153 00:57:08,160 --> 00:57:11,000 Speaker 1: time back. So you have to value your time. Especially 1154 00:57:11,280 --> 00:57:13,640 Speaker 1: I hear so many older people want to lose their spouse. 1155 00:57:13,960 --> 00:57:16,160 Speaker 1: The first thing they say is I wish I would 1156 00:57:16,200 --> 00:57:19,080 Speaker 1: have spent more time. Yeah, we all say that when 1157 00:57:19,080 --> 00:57:21,400 Speaker 1: we lose loved ones. You know what I'm saying, because 1158 00:57:21,840 --> 00:57:25,360 Speaker 1: you know, it's almost like that that that emotion of 1159 00:57:25,360 --> 00:57:29,320 Speaker 1: of of of you know, guilt or or regret is 1160 00:57:29,360 --> 00:57:32,560 Speaker 1: stronger than gratitude. You know what I'm saying. Um, you know, 1161 00:57:32,680 --> 00:57:35,520 Speaker 1: but you know, hey, like I say, man, life is 1162 00:57:35,600 --> 00:57:37,600 Speaker 1: hard as ship bro. You know it's But but what 1163 00:57:37,640 --> 00:57:41,840 Speaker 1: I've learned too is you know what what life? Life 1164 00:57:41,920 --> 00:57:45,360 Speaker 1: is hard, but sometimes humans complicated. To be very honest, 1165 00:57:45,400 --> 00:57:48,840 Speaker 1: with you. You have to exercise a level of funcket 1166 00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:51,960 Speaker 1: in life. You have to sure, you gotta understand the 1167 00:57:52,040 --> 00:57:54,880 Speaker 1: controls and illusion. The best thing that we can do 1168 00:57:55,080 --> 00:57:58,360 Speaker 1: is try to influence the outcome that we want. But 1169 00:57:58,480 --> 00:58:00,200 Speaker 1: at the end of the day, it's gonna be what 1170 00:58:00,280 --> 00:58:02,920 Speaker 1: it's gonna be. So you know, all we can do 1171 00:58:03,080 --> 00:58:05,600 Speaker 1: is do our best, you know, be the best people 1172 00:58:05,640 --> 00:58:08,240 Speaker 1: that we can be. You know. Um, I was having 1173 00:58:08,240 --> 00:58:10,720 Speaker 1: a conversation with someone the other day. I tend to 1174 00:58:10,800 --> 00:58:13,600 Speaker 1: kind of have these conversations with millennials, and you know, 1175 00:58:13,640 --> 00:58:16,920 Speaker 1: millennials are built a lot different, you know, you know, 1176 00:58:17,040 --> 00:58:19,960 Speaker 1: And I was talking to him about grace and mercy 1177 00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:23,680 Speaker 1: and forgiveness. You know, we carried so much unnecessary baggage 1178 00:58:23,680 --> 00:58:27,600 Speaker 1: in life. That's what that's what contributes to depression and 1179 00:58:27,720 --> 00:58:30,840 Speaker 1: anxiety and drug use because we got all these unnecessary 1180 00:58:30,960 --> 00:58:33,560 Speaker 1: fucking baggage. You know, you gotta learn how to cut 1181 00:58:33,600 --> 00:58:36,360 Speaker 1: that ship off. Sometimes we are own worse enemy because 1182 00:58:36,360 --> 00:58:38,120 Speaker 1: we were in our heads with a bunch of ship, 1183 00:58:38,200 --> 00:58:40,560 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Um, you know, pass ship. 1184 00:58:40,640 --> 00:58:42,800 Speaker 1: We all got pass ship, you know, But at the 1185 00:58:42,880 --> 00:58:44,720 Speaker 1: end of the day, that ship don't exist no more, 1186 00:58:44,880 --> 00:58:46,600 Speaker 1: you know, what I'm saying that we're carrying it around. 1187 00:58:46,640 --> 00:58:49,640 Speaker 1: So I think, you know, just going to the self work, 1188 00:58:49,840 --> 00:58:52,880 Speaker 1: you know, just doing the work. You know. And one 1189 00:58:52,920 --> 00:58:56,240 Speaker 1: thing about me, a quality that that I have is 1190 00:58:56,440 --> 00:58:59,040 Speaker 1: I can be a hundred percent honest with myself, no 1191 00:58:59,080 --> 00:59:02,480 Speaker 1: matter how uncomfortable the situation is. Many people lie to themselves, 1192 00:59:02,880 --> 00:59:04,960 Speaker 1: you know, when you start trying. It's one thing that's 1193 00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:06,960 Speaker 1: trying to slick somebody else, but when you try to 1194 00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:13,840 Speaker 1: start slicking yourself, you funked up. You know. Yeah, So 1195 00:59:14,240 --> 00:59:17,000 Speaker 1: you know, I always encourage people, man, just do the work, 1196 00:59:17,040 --> 00:59:20,000 Speaker 1: because everybody's self work is different, you know what i mean. Like, 1197 00:59:20,280 --> 00:59:22,680 Speaker 1: you know, with me, I knew I had them. You know, 1198 00:59:22,720 --> 00:59:25,040 Speaker 1: even though I'm cool and I'm calm and I'm reserved, 1199 00:59:25,160 --> 00:59:28,080 Speaker 1: I have a very vengeful spirit, you know what I'm saying. 1200 00:59:28,320 --> 00:59:32,400 Speaker 1: You know, if you do something to me, it's like 1201 00:59:32,400 --> 00:59:35,040 Speaker 1: like I'm I'm gonna get you. You know what I'm saying. 1202 00:59:35,040 --> 00:59:37,800 Speaker 1: If it's ten years from now, like I'm not gonna forget. 1203 00:59:37,880 --> 00:59:40,440 Speaker 1: And I knew that that wasn't healthy. I was like, okay, 1204 00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:43,160 Speaker 1: I'm putting out bad energy even with that, you know 1205 00:59:43,200 --> 00:59:45,080 Speaker 1: what I'm saying, that's why I say grace and mercy, 1206 00:59:45,160 --> 00:59:48,200 Speaker 1: forgiveness is usually for you. It's for you always, not 1207 00:59:48,360 --> 00:59:50,840 Speaker 1: even for the other motherfucker. You know. So when you're 1208 00:59:50,880 --> 00:59:53,960 Speaker 1: carrying in those gripes and those that that's heavy baggage 1209 00:59:53,960 --> 00:59:56,320 Speaker 1: and all that ship weighs you down and it alters 1210 00:59:56,360 --> 00:59:59,560 Speaker 1: your perspective because you know, perspective is the biggest thing, 1211 00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:01,640 Speaker 1: and it's fun is all about how you see. Ship 1212 01:00:01,760 --> 01:00:04,920 Speaker 1: is your disposition, you know what I'm saying, and it 1213 01:00:04,920 --> 01:00:07,160 Speaker 1: it tends to cater to your attitude as well. And 1214 01:00:07,200 --> 01:00:10,680 Speaker 1: your attitude is gonna reflect the ship that you you know, uh, 1215 01:00:10,720 --> 01:00:13,800 Speaker 1: that you receive, you know. So yeah, I think it's 1216 01:00:13,800 --> 01:00:16,240 Speaker 1: just doing the self work, bro, you know, just doing 1217 01:00:16,240 --> 01:00:19,200 Speaker 1: that health work. You know. One thing I want to say, Court, 1218 01:00:19,800 --> 01:00:24,960 Speaker 1: is that this right here, Um, we don't have time machines. 1219 01:00:25,680 --> 01:00:27,680 Speaker 1: And that's one thing you know, I learned my therapist. 1220 01:00:27,720 --> 01:00:29,480 Speaker 1: He said, you know, because I had all this stuff 1221 01:00:29,520 --> 01:00:31,320 Speaker 1: that I didn't realize it's bothering me. That was in 1222 01:00:31,320 --> 01:00:35,040 Speaker 1: the past, right he said, Man, check this out. We 1223 01:00:35,120 --> 01:00:37,360 Speaker 1: don't have time machines. Why are you worried about that ship. 1224 01:00:37,440 --> 01:00:39,040 Speaker 1: It's not like you can go back and correct it. 1225 01:00:39,080 --> 01:00:41,360 Speaker 1: Because even if you did, even if we could, you 1226 01:00:41,400 --> 01:00:43,160 Speaker 1: can may go back and funk up something and you 1227 01:00:43,200 --> 01:00:45,120 Speaker 1: come back in your life, you've got another problem all 1228 01:00:45,120 --> 01:00:47,840 Speaker 1: that you're dealing with. One thing about it, bro, we 1229 01:00:47,960 --> 01:00:51,520 Speaker 1: are going to always have issues. We are always going 1230 01:00:51,600 --> 01:00:53,640 Speaker 1: to have complications. And I don't care if you've got 1231 01:00:53,720 --> 01:00:57,160 Speaker 1: twenty million dollars in the bank, that don't matter. Nobody's 1232 01:00:57,160 --> 01:01:01,920 Speaker 1: in nobody don't matter, That don't matter. You hear about 1233 01:01:01,920 --> 01:01:04,800 Speaker 1: people all the time worth thirty forty million dollars putting 1234 01:01:04,800 --> 01:01:08,080 Speaker 1: a pistol in their mouth and just ding all because 1235 01:01:08,120 --> 01:01:10,160 Speaker 1: they cannot deal with it all. All the money they 1236 01:01:10,200 --> 01:01:13,400 Speaker 1: have is not go sure the elves that they got 1237 01:01:13,440 --> 01:01:16,160 Speaker 1: going in their life. But this is one thing I 1238 01:01:16,240 --> 01:01:19,080 Speaker 1: want to say, Man, if you've got a problem with drugs, 1239 01:01:19,320 --> 01:01:22,520 Speaker 1: go get some help. Drugs ain't drugs, ain't nomber the 1240 01:01:22,520 --> 01:01:25,760 Speaker 1: band day. They're not gonna fix nothing. They don't fix 1241 01:01:25,800 --> 01:01:27,360 Speaker 1: the damn thing. All they're gonna do is make it, 1242 01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:31,520 Speaker 1: make it, make it worse, and find some you know, 1243 01:01:31,640 --> 01:01:34,480 Speaker 1: find a spiritual You know, I'm not saying you have 1244 01:01:34,560 --> 01:01:38,240 Speaker 1: to be a Christian or a Muslim, but whatever that 1245 01:01:38,240 --> 01:01:41,120 Speaker 1: that moves you to to peace. You know what I'm saying, 1246 01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:44,720 Speaker 1: and to believe in something higher than yourself, you know 1247 01:01:44,800 --> 01:01:47,160 Speaker 1: what I mean, and something you can be relied upon, 1248 01:01:47,320 --> 01:01:50,680 Speaker 1: like make the necessary changes. That's really what this life 1249 01:01:50,680 --> 01:01:53,520 Speaker 1: ship is is to continue to evolve. If you don't 1250 01:01:53,520 --> 01:01:55,840 Speaker 1: evolve or nigga dissolved, you know what I'm saying, So 1251 01:01:56,120 --> 01:01:58,400 Speaker 1: you can't stay in the same place. Be open to 1252 01:01:58,480 --> 01:02:01,760 Speaker 1: new ideas, like from the hood, just like all of y'all, 1253 01:02:01,800 --> 01:02:04,920 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Like I've done some of 1254 01:02:04,960 --> 01:02:07,560 Speaker 1: this ship. You know I was. I ain't gonna say 1255 01:02:07,600 --> 01:02:10,400 Speaker 1: I was as gangster as James, but you know I 1256 01:02:10,600 --> 01:02:13,760 Speaker 1: did my ship right, you know. But so at this point, 1257 01:02:13,760 --> 01:02:16,600 Speaker 1: but I had to allow myself to evolve and accept 1258 01:02:16,720 --> 01:02:18,600 Speaker 1: new ideas, you know what I'm saying. So I think 1259 01:02:18,640 --> 01:02:21,480 Speaker 1: a lot of people, you know, it's easier to blame 1260 01:02:21,520 --> 01:02:24,280 Speaker 1: than it is to change. It's easy to say, mom, daddy, 1261 01:02:24,840 --> 01:02:26,800 Speaker 1: you know, it wasn't it was this, it was dad, 1262 01:02:26,800 --> 01:02:28,600 Speaker 1: it's the homies, it's this, that and the other. No, 1263 01:02:28,800 --> 01:02:31,800 Speaker 1: at some point, motherfucker, you making choices. You know. Anybody 1264 01:02:31,880 --> 01:02:33,880 Speaker 1: that don't allow you to grow past that person, Like 1265 01:02:33,920 --> 01:02:36,000 Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you something, they're gonna fall off. From you. 1266 01:02:36,040 --> 01:02:40,200 Speaker 1: They're gonna fall out here. The worst thing I ever heard, 1267 01:02:40,560 --> 01:02:42,200 Speaker 1: and I'm not gonna get the singing name because it 1268 01:02:42,240 --> 01:02:45,840 Speaker 1: ain't the pop that I heard somebody saying, I told 1269 01:02:45,880 --> 01:02:49,200 Speaker 1: you I could turn them back into Maum James, and 1270 01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:52,000 Speaker 1: it sounded so evil, bro, it was kind of like, damn, 1271 01:02:52,200 --> 01:02:53,920 Speaker 1: So you just want to homely, just to go back 1272 01:02:53,960 --> 01:02:56,000 Speaker 1: and just sunk all this ship off now because he's 1273 01:02:56,040 --> 01:02:58,480 Speaker 1: making progress. When this life it bothers you that bad? 1274 01:02:59,120 --> 01:03:01,080 Speaker 1: You really you really want to see this man back 1275 01:03:01,120 --> 01:03:06,480 Speaker 1: on the block on his ass. Yeah, they ally, they 1276 01:03:06,560 --> 01:03:09,640 Speaker 1: still listen. There's powers that be. That's the devil, bro. 1277 01:03:09,920 --> 01:03:12,360 Speaker 1: It's niggas trying to trick me out of my spot. 1278 01:03:12,480 --> 01:03:14,960 Speaker 1: Is niggas trying to trick James, trick you? And I 1279 01:03:14,960 --> 01:03:17,520 Speaker 1: didn't have them. I didn't almost been tricked to. You 1280 01:03:17,560 --> 01:03:19,960 Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, I don't almost fail for the 1281 01:03:20,000 --> 01:03:23,920 Speaker 1: fucking banana tailpipe. But yeah, man, like that's that's why 1282 01:03:23,920 --> 01:03:27,600 Speaker 1: I say Nigga's especially Nigga's just doing something. Nigga's gotta 1283 01:03:27,640 --> 01:03:31,080 Speaker 1: be emostly strong, mentally strong, you know what I'm saying, 1284 01:03:31,160 --> 01:03:33,440 Speaker 1: Spiritually strong, all of that ship. You gotta keep that 1285 01:03:33,600 --> 01:03:36,360 Speaker 1: arm wrong when you nigga, it's a war outside. That's 1286 01:03:36,400 --> 01:03:39,080 Speaker 1: how I look at my life. There's a war outside, 1287 01:03:39,120 --> 01:03:43,000 Speaker 1: so many fucking wars. It's financial war, emotional war. It's 1288 01:03:43,080 --> 01:03:45,440 Speaker 1: bitches trying to get at me, trying to funk up 1289 01:03:45,480 --> 01:03:49,480 Speaker 1: my my, my relationship and temp me. It's it's niggas 1290 01:03:49,480 --> 01:03:51,800 Speaker 1: trying to you know, play with me and trick me 1291 01:03:51,840 --> 01:03:54,160 Speaker 1: off the streets. Is niggas trying to rob me, A 1292 01:03:54,320 --> 01:03:56,680 Speaker 1: police trying to arrest me? Is you know what I'm 1293 01:03:56,720 --> 01:03:59,680 Speaker 1: saying like, And nigga gotta just you know, keep it 1294 01:03:59,720 --> 01:04:03,880 Speaker 1: tie bro right. A moultitude of motherfucker's and you know 1295 01:04:03,960 --> 01:04:07,360 Speaker 1: we call them haters, no man, but there's people out 1296 01:04:07,400 --> 01:04:10,240 Speaker 1: there that really can't stand and see somebody else content, 1297 01:04:10,360 --> 01:04:12,560 Speaker 1: so they want to throw everybody of misery and way 1298 01:04:12,560 --> 01:04:15,240 Speaker 1: they're feeling like. I'll tell everybody all the time if 1299 01:04:15,240 --> 01:04:18,160 Speaker 1: you catch your troll in your comments me, I don't 1300 01:04:18,160 --> 01:04:19,680 Speaker 1: go out my way to look at ship that don't 1301 01:04:19,800 --> 01:04:22,720 Speaker 1: enterest me. But you have the same motherfucker all in 1302 01:04:22,760 --> 01:04:25,800 Speaker 1: your mix. He telling you about this over you ain't 1303 01:04:25,840 --> 01:04:27,800 Speaker 1: this and man, you'd be thinking, Man, I'm pretty sure 1304 01:04:27,800 --> 01:04:30,919 Speaker 1: I'm doing better than your bum mass Yeah, real talk. 1305 01:04:31,280 --> 01:04:33,080 Speaker 1: You can just tell by the comment and nigga. You 1306 01:04:33,080 --> 01:04:35,040 Speaker 1: can tell all about the nigga with what come out 1307 01:04:35,040 --> 01:04:37,600 Speaker 1: of his mouth. If a nigga is hating all the 1308 01:04:37,640 --> 01:04:40,360 Speaker 1: time and gossiping and talking about other niggas, he's talking 1309 01:04:40,360 --> 01:04:43,160 Speaker 1: about you too. He gossip in about you too, you 1310 01:04:43,200 --> 01:04:45,080 Speaker 1: know what I mean. So I always say, like I 1311 01:04:45,200 --> 01:04:47,680 Speaker 1: used to tell motherfucker's all the time. Man, you hang around, 1312 01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:52,320 Speaker 1: you know, uh, nine broken niggas, nine negative niggas. You're 1313 01:04:52,320 --> 01:04:55,160 Speaker 1: finn to be the tent. You know, you could tell 1314 01:04:55,440 --> 01:04:57,840 Speaker 1: what the nigga owned. You just let him talk, you know. 1315 01:04:58,640 --> 01:05:01,960 Speaker 1: And when we go ind and right there, that was perfect. Well, 1316 01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:04,960 Speaker 1: that concludes another episode of Against the Chronicles podcast. Be 1317 01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:07,160 Speaker 1: sure to download the I Heart app and subscribe to 1318 01:05:07,200 --> 01:05:10,400 Speaker 1: The Gangster Chronicles podcast. For Apple users, find a purple 1319 01:05:10,520 --> 01:05:12,520 Speaker 1: mic on the front of your screen, subscribe to the show, 1320 01:05:12,600 --> 01:05:15,480 Speaker 1: leave a comment and rating. Executive producers for The Gangster 1321 01:05:15,560 --> 01:05:19,320 Speaker 1: Chronicles podcast and Norman Steve James McDonald, Aran m c tyler, 1322 01:05:19,680 --> 01:05:22,800 Speaker 1: our visual media directors Brian White, and our audio editors 1323 01:05:22,840 --> 01:05:25,400 Speaker 1: Taylor Hayes. The Gangster Chronicles is a production of I 1324 01:05:25,520 --> 01:05:28,640 Speaker 1: Heart Media Network and The Black Effect podcast Network. For 1325 01:05:28,720 --> 01:05:31,200 Speaker 1: more podcast from My heart Radio, visit the I heart 1326 01:05:31,280 --> 01:05:34,320 Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple podcast wherever you're listen to your podcasts,