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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter and listen.

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Speaker 1: If you need advice on relationships, on dating, works, sex, parenting,

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Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve BARBFM

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Speaker 1: dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be

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Speaker 1: reading your letter live on the air, just like we're

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Speaker 1: going to read this one right here, right now, and

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Speaker 1: you never know, it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: You never know. Buckle up and hold on tight. We

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Speaker 2: got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, not for your subject. He has to step

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Speaker 1: away to take calls. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a thirty

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Speaker 1: six year old married woman and my husband is thirty three.

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Speaker 1: We've been married for almost eight years, and he has

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Speaker 1: told me that he regrets getting married so young. I

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Speaker 1: asked him if he needed a break from the marriage,

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Speaker 1: and he said no. He told me we could find

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Speaker 1: ways to make our marriage work. So we planned a

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Speaker 1: trip back to our hometown and it didn't work out

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Speaker 1: as planned. We went for Thanksgiving and there was a

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Speaker 1: big game in town, so we barely saw each other.

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Speaker 1: I was busy with my parents and he was out late.

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Speaker 1: Every night. He came into my parents' home late, and

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Speaker 1: I noticed on the third night that his cell phone

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Speaker 1: was off while he slept. I asked him about it

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Speaker 1: the next morning, and he said it must have died,

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Speaker 1: but it wasn't dead because I turned it on and

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Speaker 1: back off that same night. After we spent the time

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Speaker 1: in our hometown, his attitude changed. He started posting more

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Speaker 1: pictures on Instagram, and he was constantly on his phone,

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Speaker 1: scrolling through social media posts. He also started to get

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Speaker 1: phone calls late in the evening, and he would ignore them.

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Speaker 1: I would check the phone when he wasn't around, and

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Speaker 1: I could see that he'd always delete the incoming call log. Then,

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Speaker 1: over the holidays, a few calls came in and he

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Speaker 1: had to step away to take them. It happened when

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Speaker 1: we had company or we were out, so I couldn't

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Speaker 1: question him or cause a scene. On New Year's Eve,

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Speaker 1: we decided to stay in and have champagne at home.

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Speaker 1: He was distant and he played with his phone all night.

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Speaker 1: At the stroke of midnight, his phone rang and he

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Speaker 1: stepped outside to take the call. He told me he

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Speaker 1: was going to see the firewark. Should I have confronted

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Speaker 1: him at that moment and ruined the beginning of a

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Speaker 1: new year. What's my husband up to?

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Speaker 2: All? Right? Sis?

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Speaker 1: This is bad, this is really bad. He's really doing

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Speaker 1: too much with all of this. And yes, you should

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Speaker 1: have confronted him at that moment. Who says it would

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Speaker 1: have ruined the beginning of a new year. He's getting

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Speaker 1: phone calls all night, walking away from you to talk.

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Speaker 1: It's like he hasn't even told whoever it is, that

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Speaker 1: he's got a wife. You asked Steve and I what

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Speaker 1: is your husband up to? Well? What do you think

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Speaker 1: he's up to? I mean, what do you think he's doing?

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Speaker 1: I think he's disrespecting you right in your face. I mean,

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Speaker 1: you have to say something right then and there when

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Speaker 1: it's happening. He gets called out where the stuff happens,

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Speaker 1: you know, that's when he gets called out where he's

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Speaker 1: doing it.

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Speaker 2: That's it, period.

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Speaker 1: I get that you don't want to cause a scene,

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Speaker 1: you don't want to let people in your business and

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Speaker 1: all that, But when he's already doing that, he is,

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Speaker 1: he's already doing that when he steps away to take

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Speaker 1: a call. What do you think they're thinking when he

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Speaker 1: does that? The only thing he's trying to hide is

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Speaker 1: who it is. He's definitely not trying to hide the

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Speaker 1: fact that there's someone else he's talking to. Doesn't he

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Speaker 1: get that this is wrong? Doesn't he understand that? Is

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Speaker 1: that what he meant when he said he could find

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Speaker 1: ways to make the marriage work, or you guys can

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Speaker 1: find ways to make the marriage work. It sounds like

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Speaker 1: he thinks you're stupid because you even asked him before

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Speaker 1: all of this, did he need a break from the

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Speaker 1: marriage whatever that means, and he said no. I just

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Speaker 1: think you know, as you can see these calls and

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Speaker 1: your man or just out of control. You're letting him

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Speaker 1: do whatever he wants to do and you're not saying anything.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I think it's way past time for you

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Speaker 1: to let him have it. You need to shut it down.

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Speaker 1: Start with this. You got a car, I'm sure you

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Speaker 1: have a car. Well, accidentally on purpose run over his

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Speaker 1: phone with your car today, okay, And then when he

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Speaker 1: asked you about it, what he does, Just get a

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Speaker 1: phone call. Just get them You heard me, You heard

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Speaker 1: me run over his phone with the car. All right,

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Speaker 1: walk away? Do what he does when he gets a

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Speaker 1: phone call when he asks you, just walk away, Steve.

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Speaker 3: Let me just address this last comment that crazy made

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Speaker 3: in the new year.

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Speaker 2: Just his phone. Who you call?

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Speaker 1: You're calling me crazy kills men run over run over

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Speaker 1: it with your car.

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Speaker 3: Yes, if you got to run over your man's phone

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Speaker 3: with a car, the problem ain't the phone. Now, let's

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Speaker 3: go to the letter. He has to step away to

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Speaker 3: take calls. Now, this thirty six year old woman. He's

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Speaker 3: married to a third three year old man and they've

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Speaker 3: been married about eight years. He made the announcement that

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Speaker 3: he regrets getting married so young.

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Speaker 2: Did the math.

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Speaker 3: He's gotten married at twenty five, that is young. He

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Speaker 3: has regretted it. He didn't get the full OAHs so

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Speaker 3: in season in he didn't get a lot of stuff

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Speaker 3: out of his system. He didn't get rid of the

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Speaker 3: things he needed to get rid of before he got married.

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Speaker 3: So when he got married, he did like a minister

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Speaker 3: taught me. He found out that the only thing changes

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Speaker 3: the day after you get married is the appearance of

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Speaker 3: your left hand third finger. I asked him if he

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Speaker 3: needed a break from the marriage. He said no, that's

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Speaker 3: because most men don't want to say let's take a

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Speaker 3: break from the marriage, or don't want to get a

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Speaker 3: divorce or admit to defeat. We just find ways around

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Speaker 3: it he said. He told me he could find ways

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Speaker 3: to make our marriage work. That is the key to

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Speaker 3: this whole letter, because you should have asked what all

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Speaker 3: did he mean? You should have had a thorough discussion

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Speaker 3: about you gonna find ways to make our marriage work.

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Speaker 3: What you thought he said was he was gonna work

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Speaker 3: on the marriage. Oh, you interpret it as he said

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Speaker 3: he's gonna work on the marriage.

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Speaker 2: You didn't explore fine ways to.

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Speaker 3: Make our marriage work, even though I regret doing it

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Speaker 3: so long.

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Speaker 2: When I come back, I'll explain the rest of him.

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Speaker 1: Hold I thought Steve coming up. We'll have part two

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Speaker 1: of Steve's response too. He has to step away to

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Speaker 1: take phone calls. That is the subject of today's Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: We'll get back into it at twenty three minutes after

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Speaker 1: the hour right after this.

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Speaker 4: Hey, it's Carla Farroll. Kick that old mop and bucket aside?

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Speaker 4: Are you ready for a mop and bucket clean? And

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Speaker 4: half the time make the swap to swiffer power Mom

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Speaker 4: with ease Plus. It'll leave your home smelling great for

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Speaker 4: hours after cleaning. Get yours today and mop smarter with

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Speaker 4: the Swiffer Power Mop.

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Speaker 1: All right, Steve, come on, let's recap today's strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: The subject is he has to step away to take calls.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, he do.

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Speaker 3: The reason he has to step away is because is

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Speaker 3: no way you need to hear these phone calls. Let's

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Speaker 3: just get with the obvious. Now, you can't get a

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Speaker 3: man at least some credit. At least he's stepping away.

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Speaker 3: It's trying to be nucause.

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Speaker 2: Let me tell you something. If he don't step away, huh.

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Speaker 2: He just told you in the.

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Speaker 3: Letter he was gonna find ways to make the marriage work. Well,

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Speaker 3: the way he found you don't need to hear this

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Speaker 3: now he got married at twenty five.

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Speaker 2: Like my answer, well see, but not see.

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Speaker 3: You don't like mine because my answer to truth. Your

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Speaker 3: answer was filled with speculation.

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Speaker 2: And phones and stuff. You pull the man phone out

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Speaker 2: and try to run over with the car. Yeah, that's

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Speaker 2: them an ass ass late response.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but you guys know how you are about your phone.

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Speaker 3: But let's get to the call of what's wrong. The

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Speaker 3: problem ain't the phone. He get new phone. See him

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Speaker 3: called all his stuff.

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Speaker 2: In the clouds.

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Speaker 1: He can do all.

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Speaker 3: Yeh, he'll get a new phone by this evening. See now,

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Speaker 3: because you acting funky running over cars, he gonna fix

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Speaker 3: your ass.

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Speaker 2: Because he gonna not. He gonna get track phone.

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Speaker 3: See, he gonna buy a phone at Walmart and put

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Speaker 3: some minutes on it.

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Speaker 2: You run over all these you want to.

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Speaker 1: That's for starters.

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Speaker 3: See that's so, let's just underst staying that. Y'all ain't

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Speaker 3: doing nothing with this phone, and you're gonna mess around.

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Speaker 3: Ain't gonna see what track phone do. Ain't no clouds

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Speaker 3: for that, ain't no tracking now. So thirty six year

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Speaker 3: old woman married this boy that was twenty five. He

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Speaker 3: told her one day he regrets getting married so young.

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Speaker 3: I asked him if he needed a break from the marriage.

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Speaker 3: He said no, He told me to find ways to

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Speaker 3: make our marriage work. What you should have did, like

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Speaker 3: I told you, was talk to him about what all

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Speaker 3: he meant by that, Because what he meant by that,

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Speaker 3: you thought he meant.

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Speaker 2: He was gonna work on the marriage.

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Speaker 3: No, he gonna find some ways to make the marriage

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Speaker 3: work for him. So we planned the trip back to

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Speaker 3: our hometown. Oh, you thought that was it. You thought

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Speaker 3: of y'all went back to the hometown.

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Speaker 2: That was gonna fix it. And then she said right

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Speaker 2: away it didn't work out his plan. Because if that

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Speaker 2: wasn't his plan, see that was y'all's plan. You said,

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Speaker 2: let's go back to where it all started, where it

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Speaker 2: all started. He was twenty four, where it all started.

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Speaker 2: He was sowing oats.

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Speaker 3: So you went to Thanksgiving and that was a big

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Speaker 3: game in town. We badly saw each other. I was

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Speaker 3: busy with my parents. He was laid out every night.

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Speaker 3: He came into my parents home late, and I noticed

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Speaker 3: the third night that his cell phone was off while

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Speaker 3: he slept. I asked him about it the next morning.

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Speaker 3: He said it must have died, or he could have

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Speaker 3: used another excuse and says, I turned my phone off

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Speaker 3: to give it some rest. Because you turned this phone

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Speaker 3: off at night so it could recharge itself at a break.

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Speaker 2: Every now and then.

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Speaker 3: You know, you have to cut your phone off and

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Speaker 3: cut it back off again, put it on and just left.

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Speaker 2: It needed a break because I needed to reset it.

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Speaker 3: So anyway, but it wasn't dead because I turned it

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Speaker 3: back on and off the same night. That's why you

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Speaker 3: use the other live fellas go with the I turned

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Speaker 3: it off.

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Speaker 2: To reset it.

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Speaker 3: After we spent time in our hometown. His attitude change.

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Speaker 3: He started posting more pictures on Instagram. He was constantly

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Speaker 3: on his phone scrolling through social media post Then he

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Speaker 3: started to get phone calls late in the evening. He would

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Speaker 3: ignore them, but I would check the phone when he

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Speaker 3: was around. I could see that he'd always delete the

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Speaker 3: incoming call.

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Speaker 2: Law my dog, your dog.

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Speaker 3: Well, he do it all the right things to work

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Speaker 3: on his marriage, to save his marriage.

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Speaker 2: No, listen to me. I want you all to hear me,

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Speaker 2: so you learn how to question your man.

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Speaker 3: When he said he was gonna find ways to make

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Speaker 3: our marriage work, you should have asked him exactly what

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Speaker 3: he meant by that, because it damn showed wasn't a

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Speaker 3: trip back to the hometown.

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Speaker 2: That was part of it. But who was at the

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Speaker 2: hometown at the game is what you didn't know. That's what.

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Speaker 3: So so now he racing call loss. You can't track

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Speaker 3: no calls. He ain't got no names listening. Then over

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Speaker 3: the holidays, a few calls came in and he had

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Speaker 3: to step away to take them, and it happened we

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Speaker 3: had company or when we were out, so I couldn't

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Speaker 3: question him or cause of sin. Well, that's where being

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Speaker 3: a little bit polite, because most women I know would

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Speaker 3: have opened up with where you're going? Yeah, yeah, I

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Speaker 3: get well, I we'll all be outside taking calls.

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Speaker 2: She'll walk out there with you and listen. So I

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Speaker 2: don't know how.

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Speaker 3: On New Year's Eve we decided to stay in and

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Speaker 3: have shamp champagne. He was distant. He played with his

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Speaker 3: phone all night. At the stroke of midnight, his phone

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Speaker 3: ring and he stepped outside to.

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Speaker 2: Take the call. He you don't need to hear him

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Speaker 2: wishing her happiness. Father, I love you, I miss you.

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Speaker 2: Happy New Year, wish you was here. All that.

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Speaker 3: He working on staying with you, and this is the

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Speaker 3: only way he can do it. Don't you understand? You

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Speaker 3: should have asked him what I meant when he said,

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna work on making this work, because he's doing

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Speaker 3: some shit. I have confronted him at that moment of

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Speaker 3: the New Year. I yes, you should have what's my

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Speaker 3: husband up to? You're stupid for asking the question.

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Speaker 1: Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey

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Speaker 1: FM on Instagram and on Facebook, and check out the

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. You're listening to the Steve

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Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show.