1 00:00:01,520 --> 00:00:04,520 Speaker 1: Well, thank you again for you know, fighting us and 2 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,560 Speaker 1: being here with us showing us. Now I know where 3 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:10,560 Speaker 1: the tree is. That's about a week away from the 4 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:14,440 Speaker 1: sixteenth anniversary of Emory's death. I go to visit her 5 00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:18,640 Speaker 1: grave for the first time. It's about a twenty minute 6 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:21,440 Speaker 1: drive east from where she used to live in City Terrace, 7 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:28,160 Speaker 1: the sloping green lawns of Resurrection Catholic Cemetery. It's a 8 00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:32,599 Speaker 1: peaceful place, a pocket of pine trees and chirping ravens. 9 00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:38,839 Speaker 1: At the cemetery, we meet Crystal, Emory's little sister. She 10 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:41,279 Speaker 1: tells us to meet her by the short but slanted 11 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:45,480 Speaker 1: tree shaped like a lightning bolt. That's how to find 12 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:51,280 Speaker 1: her sister's grave. Directions are really clear. It used to 13 00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:53,599 Speaker 1: be more like in a pine tree, and then they 14 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:55,320 Speaker 1: cut it down and then it grew back like that. 15 00:00:55,600 --> 00:01:01,760 Speaker 1: It's her me, two producers from our team, and Brian Garcia, 16 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:06,600 Speaker 1: also known as Pooky, Emory's former boyfriend. Pookie asked to 17 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 1: be reconnected with Crystal months ago when we interviewed him, 18 00:01:10,319 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 1: when you reached out and whatnot, and I had to ask, 19 00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:17,720 Speaker 1: you know, I had to ask, I was I was 20 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:21,919 Speaker 1: excited that somebody you know was actually talking about Emory. 21 00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:27,800 Speaker 1: Like I had literally been looking for Crystal for years. 22 00:01:27,959 --> 00:01:34,000 Speaker 1: You're looking at me. I don't know if I was 23 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:37,400 Speaker 1: afraid or whatnot, maybe that she wouldn't remember, you know, 24 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:41,360 Speaker 1: who I was, or whatnot. We're in a somber place, 25 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:45,240 Speaker 1: but this is a joyful meeting. The last time they 26 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:48,040 Speaker 1: saw each other was at Emory's funeral when Pooky was 27 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:52,600 Speaker 1: a teenager and Crystal was a little kid. I was 28 00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:56,200 Speaker 1: your first time seeing each other since like, yeah, she 29 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:59,920 Speaker 1: was very young. Oh my god, is he exactly? Like 30 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:05,400 Speaker 1: can you remember now? You're like odd, fifteen years exactly 31 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:13,760 Speaker 1: at years that town. It's wild to see them connect 32 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,720 Speaker 1: like this after so many years. They're kind of like 33 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:20,680 Speaker 1: long lost siblings. Over the years, Pookie has come to 34 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:23,799 Speaker 1: Emory's grave a lot. I find myself coming here as 35 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:29,080 Speaker 1: well when I guess when I just need to get away, 36 00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:33,360 Speaker 1: you know, kinda just come out and vent, you know, 37 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:47,280 Speaker 1: Canada find clarity, you know, answers signs. I don't know. 38 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:51,240 Speaker 1: Her tombstone is a slab of granite on the ground 39 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:57,400 Speaker 1: with an angel end an engraving of La There's an 40 00:02:57,400 --> 00:03:01,560 Speaker 1: oval picture of Emory above the world words in loving 41 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:04,760 Speaker 1: memory of our little girl. Is she wearing a hat 42 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:11,360 Speaker 1: and yeah, she had just got it for Christmas, knitted 43 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:13,240 Speaker 1: hat and then it had like the little like the brim. 44 00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:16,720 Speaker 1: It was a little brim, but it was like knitted over. Yeah, 45 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:23,440 Speaker 1: it was a cute little hot It's one of those 46 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:26,280 Speaker 1: rare grade days in Los Angeles and as we talk, 47 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:31,720 Speaker 1: it starts to drizzle. I'm just getting comfortable, I'm going 48 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:35,520 Speaker 1: to cover the The rain reminds me of a story 49 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:37,960 Speaker 1: Pooky told me on the phone the first time we talked. 50 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:41,240 Speaker 1: Over the years, whenever he felt like he needed to 51 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:44,720 Speaker 1: focus or things in his life weren't going right, he 52 00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 1: would visit Emory's grave. One day, he was upset crying 53 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:52,440 Speaker 1: at Emory's tombstone, and he asked her for a sign 54 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:55,920 Speaker 1: that she heard him. The sun was out that day, 55 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,480 Speaker 1: but as he was talking to her, the sky got 56 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:04,120 Speaker 1: cloudy and then it started to drizzle. If you remember, 57 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:08,040 Speaker 1: Emory's nickname was tears, So Brian took the sky crying 58 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:11,600 Speaker 1: tears to mean that Emory was there watching out for 59 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:15,920 Speaker 1: him like today. Yeah, this is the signs that I 60 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:20,760 Speaker 1: talk about every time I'm here. Every time i'm here, Yeah, 61 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:23,159 Speaker 1: I feel like I'm a big believer and you know 62 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:30,680 Speaker 1: little things. Crystal, four year old daughter shows up. They're 63 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:36,120 Speaker 1: going to get some food after this, this is Brooklyn. 64 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:42,480 Speaker 1: They say, why she shy? Just like after her and 65 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:48,760 Speaker 1: makeup alternat Right before we go, I was wondering, like, 66 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:54,200 Speaker 1: you know, I know it's been sixteen years since Emory's staff, 67 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:56,080 Speaker 1: and I was wondering, like, how does it feel too 68 00:04:56,839 --> 00:04:59,919 Speaker 1: like just be here after so much time has passed. 69 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:06,599 Speaker 1: It feels weird because I expected us to grow up together, 70 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:12,520 Speaker 1: like physically together, not viitually separate. I know Brian said 71 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:14,480 Speaker 1: that he like this is a safe space and stuff, 72 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:18,200 Speaker 1: But my safe space with her is like always in 73 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:20,640 Speaker 1: my car all the time, or like in any enclosed 74 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:22,560 Speaker 1: space where I have like a rosary and a picture 75 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:24,480 Speaker 1: of her. I just feel like I can talk to her, 76 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:27,719 Speaker 1: just like ask her for guidance and for signs, and 77 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:29,840 Speaker 1: oddly enough I always get the signs that I ask 78 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:36,839 Speaker 1: of her. A safe space can be so many things. 79 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:40,599 Speaker 1: It can be standing in front of the tombstone of 80 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:43,480 Speaker 1: a loved one, or that time you get a loan, 81 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:48,080 Speaker 1: driving in your car, or even stepping out onto a 82 00:05:48,160 --> 00:06:16,360 Speaker 1: concrete dance floor with your best Friends for My Heart, 83 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:21,400 Speaker 1: Fice and Elias Studios. This is Party Cruz, the Untold Story, 84 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:26,680 Speaker 1: So I'm Janis Amalka. In our final episode, the Legacy 85 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:30,479 Speaker 1: of Emory Story, the importance of safe Space, and what 86 00:06:30,600 --> 00:07:02,960 Speaker 1: it all means. Almost two decades later, Emory's case remains 87 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:07,720 Speaker 1: unsolved to this day. Like we've mentioned before, it's part 88 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:10,840 Speaker 1: of the Central Bureau's Cold Case Unit, which for an 89 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:14,440 Speaker 1: area of about nine hundred thousand people, is a unit 90 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:18,080 Speaker 1: of only two detectives. When we reach out to ask 91 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:21,320 Speaker 1: LAPD for an update, they told us that the biggest 92 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:25,680 Speaker 1: obstacle in her case it's a lack of witnesses and 93 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:28,239 Speaker 1: that there still wasn't any match for the DNA evidence 94 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:32,160 Speaker 1: in CODUS, the national DNA database, but they were still 95 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:35,560 Speaker 1: hoping to get one. But after the family met with 96 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:38,680 Speaker 1: the cold case detectives, it did seem like things were 97 00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:42,080 Speaker 1: moving a bit. We heard from various friends and family 98 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:45,040 Speaker 1: of Emory that the Cold Case Unit had been knocking 99 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:48,560 Speaker 1: on doors and searching for people they may have interviewed 100 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:53,480 Speaker 1: in the original investigation, and in July of twenty twenty two, 101 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:57,440 Speaker 1: the La City Council ended up reissuing a reward for 102 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:02,520 Speaker 1: fifty thousand dollars for any information in her case. It 103 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:14,280 Speaker 1: expired six months later, in January of twenty twenty three. Today, 104 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:17,960 Speaker 1: Emory would have been in her early thirties. She might 105 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,360 Speaker 1: have been a nurse, just like her aunt Becky told 106 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:23,040 Speaker 1: me she wanted to be. She might have had kids, 107 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:29,040 Speaker 1: but instead she is frozen in time. Her death is tragic, 108 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:33,320 Speaker 1: and it's also a loss that is ambiguous without closure. 109 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:38,800 Speaker 1: Besides that tremendous loss, what I see an Emory story 110 00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:41,360 Speaker 1: is the struggle of a young girl to come of 111 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:44,360 Speaker 1: age in a world that wasn't made for her, A 112 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:47,480 Speaker 1: struggle to come of age safely as a woman of 113 00:08:47,480 --> 00:09:02,120 Speaker 1: color in this country. Thanks for coming out Sunday Sundays 114 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:04,240 Speaker 1: like my Monday. Have worked on Sundays. Oh yeah, so 115 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:07,640 Speaker 1: Sunday's technically my Monday. I remember the first conversation I 116 00:09:07,679 --> 00:09:11,240 Speaker 1: had with Crystal, Emory's sister, who was now in her twenties. 117 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:13,839 Speaker 1: I asked her what she knew of her older sister 118 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:17,760 Speaker 1: and party crews. She was only six then. I remember, 119 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:20,760 Speaker 1: actually when I was little, finding like the flyers and 120 00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:24,240 Speaker 1: my sister's stuff. But I remember just had like cartoons 121 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:27,079 Speaker 1: on it, like it had like Tweetye or Betty Boob 122 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,000 Speaker 1: or something like that. I was just like, Oh, like, 123 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:31,040 Speaker 1: it's a picture we know with the cartoons on it. 124 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:34,240 Speaker 1: I didn't think there was much more than than that. 125 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:37,480 Speaker 1: She didn't really know about the party crew scene beyond 126 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:41,280 Speaker 1: that one flyer, But as we chatted, I realized she 127 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:43,440 Speaker 1: had her own version of a crew. I grew up 128 00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:46,199 Speaker 1: in the Sangabala Valley and Roland Heights. Um, it's off 129 00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:50,480 Speaker 1: to sixty. Yeah, that's why I like speeds on the mets. 130 00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:56,360 Speaker 1: Over there there's carts over and UM and Diamond Bar Plaza. Yeah. 131 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:59,120 Speaker 1: Just like party crews. Car clubs in LA are tight 132 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:02,480 Speaker 1: knit groups get together on the weekends or whenever there's 133 00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:06,280 Speaker 1: a car meet. Historically, they've had their own run ins 134 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:10,480 Speaker 1: with the cops over car modifications or racing, but that's 135 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:13,280 Speaker 1: only a fraction of what the car clubs are. More 136 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:18,800 Speaker 1: than anything, they're a community. Your car club do you 137 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:21,959 Speaker 1: have a name? Uh? Yeah, so we're so called sexism. 138 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:24,240 Speaker 1: I had a TSX before I had my evil. I 139 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:26,679 Speaker 1: got into a really bad accident back in February. Um, 140 00:10:27,559 --> 00:10:31,680 Speaker 1: but normally, you know you've crash your car, you get 141 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:34,160 Speaker 1: kicked out of you know, the group or whatever. Crash 142 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:37,520 Speaker 1: your car, you get kicked off. Well yeah, oh no, 143 00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:41,280 Speaker 1: oh no, But I mean like it's a it's a 144 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:44,000 Speaker 1: it's a group with only one type of car. But yeah, 145 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:47,600 Speaker 1: but these people, um, you know, I we became family 146 00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:49,480 Speaker 1: over time, over time, like I met them, so I 147 00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:52,720 Speaker 1: don't know, we're during the pandemic and we just we 148 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:54,760 Speaker 1: got really really close. And so when I got in 149 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:56,360 Speaker 1: my accident, one of my biggest fears was like, oh 150 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:57,760 Speaker 1: my god, like they're gonna kick me out, you know, 151 00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:00,000 Speaker 1: like my friends. I'm not gonna have my friends anymore. 152 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:01,880 Speaker 1: And they were like, no, dude, like you're a part 153 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:04,360 Speaker 1: of us, you know. But when I heard Crystal talk 154 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,840 Speaker 1: about our car club, to me, it sounded like its 155 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:10,600 Speaker 1: own version of a party crew. Honestly, we became so close, 156 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:14,720 Speaker 1: you know, with time, and we're not just car friends, 157 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:17,720 Speaker 1: you know, we became like the biggest family ever. It's 158 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:20,000 Speaker 1: more than just we're here for the cars. We're here 159 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,720 Speaker 1: for each other, you know, Like half to Tug I said, 160 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:23,440 Speaker 1: at the time we hang out, we forget that the 161 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:26,120 Speaker 1: cars are even there, and we're just enjoying each other's company. 162 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:29,040 Speaker 1: So I think that it ties in with my sister 163 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:31,600 Speaker 1: because she had, you know, her group of people that 164 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:33,920 Speaker 1: she felt like she could fall back on. I understand 165 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,439 Speaker 1: what it's like to have a family outside your family. 166 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:41,240 Speaker 1: While reporting this series, I've been thinking a lot about 167 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:44,360 Speaker 1: how coming of age is all about finding who you 168 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:48,520 Speaker 1: are outside of your family, expanding your sense of what 169 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:53,719 Speaker 1: family and community even is. We all need those experiences, 170 00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:58,480 Speaker 1: especially as teams, that space away from parents and supervision, 171 00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:01,720 Speaker 1: to let loose, fuck up up, make mistakes, and learn 172 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:06,200 Speaker 1: from them. It's how we grow into independent adults. But 173 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:09,800 Speaker 1: what I'm also realizing is that as Latin X kids 174 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:18,360 Speaker 1: growing up in LA, our options were always limited. They 175 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:22,959 Speaker 1: are an all female party grew called Unpredictable Ladies or 176 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:26,559 Speaker 1: upl and they're on their way to a Saturday night 177 00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:31,040 Speaker 1: party right now. This is a clip from an undercover 178 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:34,760 Speaker 1: news special from nineteen ninety six, so a decade before 179 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:38,240 Speaker 1: my time, but I feel like it captures my experience too. 180 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:42,480 Speaker 1: Chris Blatchford, a TV news reporter at Fox eleven, the 181 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:46,560 Speaker 1: local LA Fox news station, went to parties, captured footage 182 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:50,040 Speaker 1: and interviewed teens in the scene. They walked down the 183 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:54,880 Speaker 1: street like they own it. Life for sure. The camera 184 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:59,040 Speaker 1: follows a group of girls and nineties outfits, little miniskirts 185 00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:02,800 Speaker 1: and crop tops, complete with that iconic shade of reddish 186 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:08,680 Speaker 1: brown lipstick, and in a way they do admires, stop 187 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:15,400 Speaker 1: to watch and move it but becomes predictable weight He's 188 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:18,199 Speaker 1: just keep on going. They have a party to get. 189 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:22,680 Speaker 1: Something else I want to point out is that the 190 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,440 Speaker 1: vibe of these news clips is also very much like 191 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:29,840 Speaker 1: look at these girls gone wild. The dancing is often provocative, 192 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:34,400 Speaker 1: and these girls, the youngest fifteen say they don't worry 193 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:36,920 Speaker 1: about what mom might think. She loves how we danced 194 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:39,240 Speaker 1: and not how we like to get down and dirty, 195 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:42,320 Speaker 1: how we danced, but she can't do nothing about it. 196 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,480 Speaker 1: It's the same vibe I saw on the coverage of 197 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:48,000 Speaker 1: party crews in the two thousands, like who is letting 198 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:51,600 Speaker 1: these girls be out here like that? On the dance floor. 199 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:54,920 Speaker 1: My friends and I were discovering how others responded to us. 200 00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:59,160 Speaker 1: We wanted to be lusted after and desired. We thought, 201 00:13:59,679 --> 00:14:03,439 Speaker 1: isn't that what it meant to be a woman? You 202 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:06,080 Speaker 1: can look you, you can feel whatever, but you can 203 00:14:07,679 --> 00:14:11,480 Speaker 1: At the same time, we were learning that society saw 204 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:15,839 Speaker 1: our bodies as dangerous, that being too free with them 205 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:20,120 Speaker 1: made us bad. I think the fact that this is 206 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,640 Speaker 1: how society saw us, how they saw the party crew 207 00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:26,600 Speaker 1: scene and Latin X teens who participated in it, as 208 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:29,800 Speaker 1: part of why some people automatically assume that Emory's death 209 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:33,160 Speaker 1: was connected to the scene and this part of the 210 00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:35,840 Speaker 1: news clip, the crowd at a party is channing take 211 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:39,440 Speaker 1: it off as a party crew called Cutie's dances on stage. 212 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:43,880 Speaker 1: The cuties eventually make it back on stage, eliciting shout 213 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:48,040 Speaker 1: so take it off from the ground. They don't we 214 00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:51,360 Speaker 1: be pleasers. We get a reputation so rather teas that please. 215 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:54,720 Speaker 1: But when I look back at this clip as an adult, 216 00:14:55,600 --> 00:15:00,240 Speaker 1: I don't see anyone doing anything surprising or wrong. What 217 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,000 Speaker 1: I see is a group of young teens trying to 218 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:06,800 Speaker 1: figure out an impossible balance. And I'm not the only 219 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:11,680 Speaker 1: one who felt that tension. I feel like we were 220 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:14,360 Speaker 1: just trying to explore. Like we were like, oh, what 221 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,880 Speaker 1: does it like to be a sexy woman? We were 222 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:19,080 Speaker 1: like kids, you know, I wouldn't like to get out 223 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:21,600 Speaker 1: of guy's attention and walk into to a party with 224 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:24,440 Speaker 1: a group of girls and everyone's looking at us, and 225 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:28,240 Speaker 1: it was fun though it made me feel like I'm 226 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:32,040 Speaker 1: a part of this world and I could be open 227 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:35,160 Speaker 1: and free and noyone's gonna judge me here. I could 228 00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:36,960 Speaker 1: go kiss a girl right now and it's I'm not 229 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:40,360 Speaker 1: gonna get in trouble. It was fun, but I don't know, 230 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:43,000 Speaker 1: I just feel like maybe guys, like, looking back at 231 00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:47,320 Speaker 1: it now, guys probably just didn't respect us as much. 232 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,040 Speaker 1: Girls would go and be dancing, and guys would go 233 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,600 Speaker 1: and grab their butt, or they didn't look at you 234 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:57,160 Speaker 1: like his candy and just be there. Like a few 235 00:15:57,240 --> 00:16:00,640 Speaker 1: years back, while traveling solo in Cuba, I met a 236 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:03,200 Speaker 1: white girl from the East Coast who told me about 237 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:06,200 Speaker 1: her time away from home at summer camps. She had 238 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:10,440 Speaker 1: her first kiss, her first boyfriend, lots of firsts. But 239 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:15,760 Speaker 1: from what I understood, there was supervision, mostly young adult counselors, 240 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:18,280 Speaker 1: but it still felt like a world built for kids. 241 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:23,160 Speaker 1: A lot of the teens and the crews were kids 242 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:27,880 Speaker 1: of immigrants or kids from working class families, communities dealing 243 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:35,000 Speaker 1: with poverty, domestic abuse, language barriers, immigration, families with packed homes, 244 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,800 Speaker 1: no room to breathe or have a moment for yourself, 245 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,040 Speaker 1: And when you don't have a place like summer camp 246 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:44,680 Speaker 1: to go to the scene and its freedom just feel 247 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:49,480 Speaker 1: more worth it. The reality was that we desensitize ourselves 248 00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:52,800 Speaker 1: to the violence happening around us, whether it was from 249 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:56,560 Speaker 1: within the crew, scene, gang related, or police raiding parties. 250 00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:01,720 Speaker 1: Looking back, I feel guilt for potentially putting myself in 251 00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:05,639 Speaker 1: danger while my parents were just trying to keep us alive, 252 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:10,080 Speaker 1: specifically my mom, which is a big part of why 253 00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:14,200 Speaker 1: I buried this time in my life deep down. But 254 00:17:14,359 --> 00:17:18,040 Speaker 1: as I've been reporting the series, I'm starting to understand 255 00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:21,080 Speaker 1: that maybe I want to bring this time and these 256 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:27,120 Speaker 1: questions out in the open with my mom. That's after 257 00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:59,640 Speaker 1: the break, this is my mom, or just casually sitting 258 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:02,520 Speaker 1: at the table with a couple of microphones in front 259 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:05,879 Speaker 1: of us. My mom and I seem like total opposites, 260 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:09,240 Speaker 1: but at the same time, we have a lot in common. 261 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,080 Speaker 1: We have the same beauty mark on the right side 262 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:16,040 Speaker 1: of our nose. People tell me I look exactly like her, 263 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:20,600 Speaker 1: and one Christmas we were complete cry babies when we 264 00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:24,360 Speaker 1: watched Marley and Me at the movie theater. My mom 265 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:27,879 Speaker 1: and I also have similar humor. We both like to 266 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:30,320 Speaker 1: make fun of each other and we try not to 267 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:44,359 Speaker 1: take ourselves too seriously, okay, just welcome to my precious daughter. 268 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:51,679 Speaker 1: As I said before, my mom was born and raised 269 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:55,040 Speaker 1: in Lima. She came to this country and settled in 270 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:57,520 Speaker 1: La County when she was twenty one years old in 271 00:18:57,560 --> 00:19:01,040 Speaker 1: the mid eighties. I was born a few years later. 272 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:05,040 Speaker 1: We both grew up in different places from our parents. 273 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:08,520 Speaker 1: My grandparents are from rural towns and the Andes, and 274 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:12,040 Speaker 1: they both spoke get One as the first language. They 275 00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:15,359 Speaker 1: later moved from their pueblos to produce capital in search 276 00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:19,120 Speaker 1: of a better future. And she was the oldest daughter, 277 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:42,520 Speaker 1: just like me, and so when as the oldest she 278 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:59,720 Speaker 1: took care of her two sisters Manda, she helped the 279 00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:02,960 Speaker 1: family only do all kinds of tasks. At ten years old, 280 00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:06,200 Speaker 1: she was running errands taking cash deposits to the bank. 281 00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:09,960 Speaker 1: She says that as a team, her parents weren't strict 282 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,840 Speaker 1: with her because they didn't have to be. She didn't 283 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:24,080 Speaker 1: stay out late, so Alitas weren't strict and if she 284 00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:26,720 Speaker 1: were to act up, her parents would have first sure 285 00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:31,120 Speaker 1: said something, but I'm not buying it, so you will 286 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:37,280 Speaker 1: see perfect, not perfect at all, I wish at all. 287 00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:47,200 Speaker 1: It's m She says she navigated life as a team, 288 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:50,679 Speaker 1: thinking about her parents so that they would never have 289 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:55,320 Speaker 1: to worry about her. I know the feeling her parents 290 00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:58,320 Speaker 1: worked hard to keep us afloat and to provide us 291 00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:01,920 Speaker 1: with the opportunities they never had. The least you could 292 00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:05,440 Speaker 1: do as a kid was be good and stay out 293 00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:09,320 Speaker 1: of the way. I asked her when she felt the 294 00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:19,480 Speaker 1: most free as a teen. H She says it was 295 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:22,119 Speaker 1: with her friends from church, who she laughed and joked 296 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:40,840 Speaker 1: around with. I'm not surprised. My mom has always been 297 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:44,680 Speaker 1: a prankster. Here she's telling me that as a teen, 298 00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:48,240 Speaker 1: she's stuff little firecrackers into the shoelaces of her guy 299 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:51,560 Speaker 1: friend's shoes, and sometimes it would at the bottom of 300 00:21:51,560 --> 00:22:05,400 Speaker 1: their pants on fire. Yes, of course that's funny. Oh yeah, 301 00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:17,320 Speaker 1: like an adult, she still loves pranking people. I wanted 302 00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:19,600 Speaker 1: to share with my mom how it was for me 303 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,800 Speaker 1: as a teen, so I started by asking her, do 304 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:44,760 Speaker 1: you remember how I was dressed back then? Oh yeah, 305 00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:58,480 Speaker 1: come on, Cortos. Of course, she remembers. It was the 306 00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:03,000 Speaker 1: era of low rider gene and crop tops. I was sixteen, 307 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:06,440 Speaker 1: and she tells me she remembers teasing me about it, 308 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:09,560 Speaker 1: telling me I'm going to get sick because my stomach 309 00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:12,960 Speaker 1: was exposed, or pointing out that I forgot my pants 310 00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:19,160 Speaker 1: when I wore short skirts. But there's also so much 311 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:33,000 Speaker 1: of that time that she didn't see. Yo Um. I 312 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:36,680 Speaker 1: told her I had my first drink at fourteen. It 313 00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:40,359 Speaker 1: was what all the rebels drink, a bottle of Smirnoff ice, 314 00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:52,360 Speaker 1: and that I used to sneak out of the house. Clara, 315 00:23:52,760 --> 00:24:07,720 Speaker 1: my mom tells me she caught me once we see. 316 00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:13,159 Speaker 1: I point to the door behind us that leads the backyard. 317 00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:18,840 Speaker 1: I tell my mom, I sneak out the back WI see, 318 00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:37,960 Speaker 1: keep doing there? Yeah? Yeah, I tell her. At least 319 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:43,440 Speaker 1: I got back in time for church. She's surprised, not mad, 320 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:50,880 Speaker 1: maybe more so a little impressed. So that's why you'd 321 00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:54,399 Speaker 1: always fall asleep at church, she tells me, with a smirk. 322 00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:59,080 Speaker 1: When I'm nervous, I don't fully think in one language. 323 00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:03,360 Speaker 1: My would start weaving in and out of English and Spanish, 324 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:22,560 Speaker 1: you know, like hurt anyone, you know, hoven Um, I 325 00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:26,360 Speaker 1: tell her that I was looking for a little freedom. 326 00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:29,560 Speaker 1: My mom sat across from me at the table, calmly. 327 00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:34,080 Speaker 1: She was nodding and listening. I was worried she wouldn't 328 00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:37,960 Speaker 1: understand my nervous Spanish. I was kind of expecting my 329 00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:41,520 Speaker 1: mom to blow up at me or cry or something 330 00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:57,679 Speaker 1: umsciento like normal and like scary. Was so scared. I 331 00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:06,240 Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, Mama, I know, it doesn't 332 00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:10,120 Speaker 1: seem like a big deal. Now, the weight of potentially 333 00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:15,639 Speaker 1: disappointing my parents weighs so heavy on me even today. 334 00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:19,600 Speaker 1: I tell her how scared I was to let her down. 335 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:23,800 Speaker 1: She tells me, these are things that happened in the past. 336 00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:31,439 Speaker 1: What could I do now? I mean, I don't know. 337 00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:34,080 Speaker 1: I thought, you guys, oh my god, I'm gonna let 338 00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:43,760 Speaker 1: her down, you know, Like, is the pressure pressure instead, 339 00:26:46,040 --> 00:27:01,919 Speaker 1: like like Santo pressure. No. I tell her that I 340 00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:06,679 Speaker 1: feel this immense pressure from being the oldest daughter and 341 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:10,600 Speaker 1: being the first born in this country. That pressure is 342 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:16,879 Speaker 1: still with me today. When I was in my early twenties, 343 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:19,600 Speaker 1: I was in a bad car accident coming home from 344 00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:23,399 Speaker 1: being out late at a bar. I broke my back 345 00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:27,159 Speaker 1: and other important bones. I was in the hospital for months. 346 00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:31,960 Speaker 1: I couldn't walk or sit up on my own. Then 347 00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:36,159 Speaker 1: I spent several months recovering at home. I had to 348 00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:39,000 Speaker 1: go to physical therapy to relearn how to do basic 349 00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:41,560 Speaker 1: shit like hold a water bottle with my left hand. 350 00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:46,639 Speaker 1: I even had to relearn how to walk. I'm not 351 00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:49,000 Speaker 1: a person that likes to ask for help, but I 352 00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:52,359 Speaker 1: had no choice, and my family helped me every step 353 00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:58,920 Speaker 1: of the way. I'm eternally grateful for them, but it's 354 00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:02,560 Speaker 1: still hard for me to talk about that time with them. 355 00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:05,240 Speaker 1: I sometimes feel like if I had been that proper daughter, 356 00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:11,280 Speaker 1: you know, maybe it wouldn't have happened to me in 357 00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:17,040 Speaker 1: the first place. Back then, it felt like I wasn't 358 00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:27,119 Speaker 1: allowed to make mistakes. Yeah, I thought, I think, no, sa, 359 00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:46,240 Speaker 1: I think like pressure, No, the pressure. My mom sounded surprised. 360 00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:50,280 Speaker 1: I tell her I've learned to deal with the pressures 361 00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:54,160 Speaker 1: as an adult, but growing up, I didn't have the 362 00:28:54,200 --> 00:29:00,600 Speaker 1: tools I have now, and I wanted to escape grades 363 00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:04,760 Speaker 1: best college. But to make you guys happy. All I 364 00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:08,160 Speaker 1: wanted to do was make them happy. So there's a 365 00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:13,680 Speaker 1: lot of pressure, I think, But I mean, come on. 366 00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:19,440 Speaker 1: So my mom tries to be comforting. She tells me 367 00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:22,480 Speaker 1: that both her and my dad are happy with the 368 00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:35,480 Speaker 1: way their kids have turned out, that even though there 369 00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:40,320 Speaker 1: have been hard times, we have gotten through it. I 370 00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:50,360 Speaker 1: just never wanted to hurt them. I mean, I'm saying. 371 00:29:56,920 --> 00:30:00,160 Speaker 1: My mom tells me she wished I had I had 372 00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:03,560 Speaker 1: opened up to her, that it could have trusted her 373 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:19,240 Speaker 1: to listen. She says, as a parent, she never wanted 374 00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:22,760 Speaker 1: to see me suffer and would have loved to make 375 00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:27,560 Speaker 1: life easy for me. But kids, they don't always let 376 00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:53,880 Speaker 1: themselves be helped. Thank you, You're welcome, You're like. Before 377 00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:56,640 Speaker 1: I sat down with my mom, I also thought a 378 00:30:56,640 --> 00:31:00,560 Speaker 1: lot about Emery and her mom. How lucky I was 379 00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:03,160 Speaker 1: to have this moment, to have the chance to make 380 00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:09,480 Speaker 1: mistakes and grow and evolve our relationship. Someone took that 381 00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:14,480 Speaker 1: opportunity away from Emory and left her family without answers. 382 00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:17,960 Speaker 1: There isn't a class to teach you what adulthood is, 383 00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:21,520 Speaker 1: even if they wanted to. I don't think the insult 384 00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:25,080 Speaker 1: in your life can fully do that for you. So 385 00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:29,200 Speaker 1: we learned by following our feelings, our bodies, our instincts, 386 00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:32,680 Speaker 1: and for some of us, that space was the party 387 00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:42,720 Speaker 1: crew scene. When I close my eyes, I can still 388 00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:44,880 Speaker 1: feel the dew from the fog machine on my skin 389 00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:49,560 Speaker 1: and the heavy vibrations from the shady floor speaker. Standing 390 00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:54,040 Speaker 1: too close to teenage bodies. I can see groups of 391 00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:57,240 Speaker 1: girls and matching peak tops and hear them chanting their 392 00:31:57,280 --> 00:32:01,000 Speaker 1: crew names at the top of their lungs, the lights 393 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:04,440 Speaker 1: bouncing off the laminated crew badges hanging around their necks. 394 00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:10,240 Speaker 1: We turned a muddy backyard into a magical playground, and 395 00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:13,040 Speaker 1: we imagined a future beyond what we could see at 396 00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:19,280 Speaker 1: home and in our neighborhoods. We built a world, at 397 00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:36,760 Speaker 1: least for one night. This episode was written, reported, and 398 00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:40,800 Speaker 1: hosted by me Janas Yamoka. Our show is produced and 399 00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:45,560 Speaker 1: reported by Sofia Polissa car, Victoria Lejandro, and Kyle Chang, 400 00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:51,680 Speaker 1: and edited by Antonio Seihido. Additional editing by any Ables, 401 00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:56,720 Speaker 1: back checking by Nidia about these Steps. Sound design and 402 00:32:56,800 --> 00:33:02,120 Speaker 1: original music composition by Kyle Murdoch. Our supervising producer is 403 00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:08,200 Speaker 1: Janet Lee. Art by Julie Ruiz and Victoikion. Our executive 404 00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:12,440 Speaker 1: producer from Vice Audio is Kate Osborne. Our executive producers 405 00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:17,400 Speaker 1: from Elias Studios are Antonia Shido and leog Our Vice 406 00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:23,080 Speaker 1: President of Podcasts from Elias Studios is Shana Naomi Krocmam. 407 00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:27,120 Speaker 1: Special thanks to the UCLA Department of Communication Archive for 408 00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:31,440 Speaker 1: access to their news collection. In special thanks to therapist 409 00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:34,840 Speaker 1: and my good friend Joanna Flores for all her sport. 410 00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:39,000 Speaker 1: Extra special thanks to all the party crew people who 411 00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:43,480 Speaker 1: spoke to us. Pops from Infamous Ladies, Caramel Diva from 412 00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:48,680 Speaker 1: Lustful Ladies, Nssa from Clover Ladies, Wonders from the Dope Squad, 413 00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:54,920 Speaker 1: Armando from Losapos, Triple X from Huggy's Production, MiGs from 414 00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:59,680 Speaker 1: me hinthe Miss Sick from Lady Devotion, Chris from the 415 00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:05,160 Speaker 1: Hen Some Devils, Partygoer, Max from Alhambra, and Springles from 416 00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:10,920 Speaker 1: Code Read. Thank you for lending us your voice and hey, 417 00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:14,160 Speaker 1: were you and a party crew Senator, party flyers or photos? 418 00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:17,319 Speaker 1: I'd love to see them, even a voice message about 419 00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:19,920 Speaker 1: your memories anything. 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