WEBVTT - Just Jennie: Chasing that “25th Hour”

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Hello,

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<v Speaker 1>welcome back to I Choose Me. As you know, this

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<v Speaker 1>podcast is all about choices, but today it's a just

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<v Speaker 1>Jenny episode, and I'm going to be talking about something

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<v Speaker 1>that I know is going to hit home for almost

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<v Speaker 1>every person listening, maybe just in different ways. It's that

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<v Speaker 1>thing we are all chasing time. Okay, So here's a question.

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<v Speaker 1>What is up with this constant feeling of just being

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<v Speaker 1>slammed all the time, like go go go every day.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, truly, it's constantly just grinding, just carrying so

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<v Speaker 1>much on your shoulders. I don't know about you, but

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<v Speaker 1>I can feel it sometimes, like I can feel the

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<v Speaker 1>weight of all the commitments and all of the things

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<v Speaker 1>that I need to do and be. It's heavy. It's

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<v Speaker 1>a lot, and I know if I'm feeling it, you're

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<v Speaker 1>feeling it too, in whatever your scenario is. And it

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't even matter what the weight actually is, because my

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<v Speaker 1>weight is different than your weight. Maybe your weight is.

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<v Speaker 1>You're feeling anxious about the possibility of losing your job.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, hello, we all need our jobs, but there's

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<v Speaker 1>an underlying fear that I have of not being able

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<v Speaker 1>to take care of myself or my family. And that's

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<v Speaker 1>that's a deep fear. It's always there. Life is Krayz

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<v Speaker 1>right now. Who knows. Maybe you're a new parent and

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<v Speaker 1>you're juggling an entire new life, a new list of responsibilities.

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<v Speaker 1>You got bottles, you got the diapers, you're sleep deprived.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a lot. There's no handbook for Actually, there is

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<v Speaker 1>a handbook for it. I read it. You probably read it.

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<v Speaker 1>What to expect and respecting. But you know what I'm

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<v Speaker 1>saying is, even in different situations, if you're a parent,

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<v Speaker 1>there's the forever epic responsibility of being a good mom

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<v Speaker 1>or dad through every stage and every age. Or maybe

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<v Speaker 1>you're a parent to an adult kid who still needs

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of let's just call it guidance, and we're

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<v Speaker 1>trying to figure out how to do this. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>we're trying to stay connected with our adult kids as

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<v Speaker 1>they're leaving the nest, but also knowing, you know, we

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<v Speaker 1>got to let them fly. So yeah, figuring out that

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<v Speaker 1>whole new rhythm, that whole vibe take some work. Perhaps

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<v Speaker 1>you're all the sudden face having to be a completely

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<v Speaker 1>different kind of parent, like me to an eighty three

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<v Speaker 1>year old infant child who used to be my parent.

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<v Speaker 1>Kind of thing which requires a great amount of love, yes,

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<v Speaker 1>but also patience, so much patience, like all the patients sometimes,

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<v Speaker 1>but you know in your bones that's what you need

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<v Speaker 1>to be doing. Oh and then there's the relationships. They

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<v Speaker 1>are work. A commitment to grow alongside with your person,

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<v Speaker 1>whether you are together or apart, is a lot of work.

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<v Speaker 1>You have to give that time or it will just

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<v Speaker 1>fizzle and you will grow apart, and we don't want

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<v Speaker 1>that to happen. Or maybe it's just all the hoops,

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<v Speaker 1>all the hoops that you've been jumping through trying to

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<v Speaker 1>hustle your schedule so that you can do all the things.

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<v Speaker 1>And then least we forget the you of it, all

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<v Speaker 1>the upkeep of you. You guys, it is real. Your

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<v Speaker 1>physical health, your mental health, your skin and hair health,

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<v Speaker 1>your eyes, your teeth, your gut, your pelvic floor. It's

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<v Speaker 1>like it's never ending. This list is never ending of

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<v Speaker 1>things we need to do to take care of ourselves.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I'll let you in on a little insight.

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<v Speaker 1>I am working harder now than I've ever worked in

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<v Speaker 1>my life. When I look at my calendar, I almost

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<v Speaker 1>have a panic attack because literally every hour is accounted

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<v Speaker 1>for in my workday, from getting up, exercising, eating breakfast,

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<v Speaker 1>it's all on the calendar. Sit down and work on

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<v Speaker 1>your book, go to the meeting, get on that zoom

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<v Speaker 1>call design Fall twenty twenty six. Like, there is so

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<v Speaker 1>much to do in every single day. Sometimes I think

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<v Speaker 1>there's no way I'm going to get it all done.

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<v Speaker 1>And sometimes I think, oh my gosh, I don't want

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<v Speaker 1>to be so scheduled. My entire life is like on

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<v Speaker 1>the calendar. It's there's something so helpful about scheduling your time,

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<v Speaker 1>but then there's also something like, ooh, that's a lot,

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<v Speaker 1>and this living of a life, it's a big deal.

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<v Speaker 1>If you're like me, you're saying yes to everything. You

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<v Speaker 1>want to fix every problem, you want to help every person.

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<v Speaker 1>You want to do all the things. But sometimes maybe

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<v Speaker 1>this will happen to you. I was on the phone

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<v Speaker 1>with one of my friends the other day. I was

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<v Speaker 1>wanting to be there for her. Well, of course, listen,

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<v Speaker 1>I want to help her, and I realized I was

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<v Speaker 1>trying to solve a problem that wasn't mine to solve it.

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<v Speaker 1>And you, guys, I have a lot of problems to solve,

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<v Speaker 1>and I felt like it was adding like ten pounds

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<v Speaker 1>of emotional weight to my back. We do that without

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<v Speaker 1>even thinking. We take on other people's problems. But if

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<v Speaker 1>we have any self awareness, hopefully we slow down for

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<v Speaker 1>half a second and we realize, oh, okay, I am

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<v Speaker 1>actually running on fumes here. My tank was getting way

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<v Speaker 1>too close to e and we go to that dialogue,

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<v Speaker 1>Oh okay, it's okay. I just have time today to

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<v Speaker 1>take care of myself. If I only had a little

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<v Speaker 1>more time, if I only had another hour in the day,

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<v Speaker 1>then I would finally find the time to take care

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<v Speaker 1>of me. That thought, if I only had more time

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<v Speaker 1>is the mythical twenty fifth hour. We chase it, but

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<v Speaker 1>we never find it. The truth is that hour is

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<v Speaker 1>a total illusion. So the mythical twenty fifth hour, it's

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<v Speaker 1>the hour we tell ourselves we'll finally rest, I'll finally

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<v Speaker 1>work out. I'll just finally get to sit in silence

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<v Speaker 1>and think about what I'm grateful for. But here's the truth.

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<v Speaker 1>If we magically had a twenty fifth hour in the day,

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<v Speaker 1>most of us wouldn't use it to rest. We'd fill

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<v Speaker 1>it right back up. Another errand another quick phone call

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<v Speaker 1>for work another thing for the kids. It's like dig

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<v Speaker 1>in a hole in the sand and you know you're

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<v Speaker 1>making the space. You're digging in there, you're trying to

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<v Speaker 1>carve out somewhere safe. But before you know it, a wave,

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<v Speaker 1>Yes I'm getting metaphorical here, another task floods the space

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<v Speaker 1>and then before you know another big wave comes along,

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<v Speaker 1>more obligations, more to dos. The sand just collapses. It

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<v Speaker 1>flattens out, like your space never existed. It's gone. Sometimes

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<v Speaker 1>you just have to reorganize things. You have to reprioritize.

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<v Speaker 1>Even though you've got it all laid out and you think,

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<v Speaker 1>here's the plan, this is going to work. Something will

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<v Speaker 1>come up and you will need to add that in

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<v Speaker 1>make that happen, find that time. And for me, it

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<v Speaker 1>is usually about looking at what I have, deciding what

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<v Speaker 1>can slide to the next day, what can go to

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<v Speaker 1>next week, what needs my attention right now? And that's

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<v Speaker 1>how I sort of prioritize my to dos on my calendar.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry to say this, but I'm sausage just talking

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<v Speaker 1>about all this. You guys. The problem, though I want

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<v Speaker 1>you to know, is not the clock. The problem is

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<v Speaker 1>that we don't want to spend time or make the

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<v Speaker 1>effort to take care of ourselves, to keep digging the

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<v Speaker 1>holes and finding that safe space. The problem is we

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<v Speaker 1>stop loving ourselves enough to prioritize our well being over

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<v Speaker 1>all the other noises. We've trained ourselves and crucially, we

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<v Speaker 1>train the people around us that we are endlessly available.

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<v Speaker 1>I've had to learn that the hard way that when

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<v Speaker 1>I drop everything to rescue someone, I'm actually teaching them

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<v Speaker 1>that my time is less valuable than their emergency. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, unless it's an actual physical emergency. Choosing me

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<v Speaker 1>isn't selfish, Guys, is an act of necessary self love,

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<v Speaker 1>and teaching others how to respect my boundaries is a priority. Okay, So,

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<v Speaker 1>since I've gone a little long here and maybe even

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<v Speaker 1>gotten a little too worked up, I want to leave

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<v Speaker 1>you with a promise this isn't just a venting session.

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<v Speaker 1>We are going to fix this. I am going to

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<v Speaker 1>drop my tips to choosing my time on a bonus

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<v Speaker 1>episode in a couple of days. We're talking concrete steps

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<v Speaker 1>how to schedule your workout without guilt, how to say

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<v Speaker 1>no to a new commitment when you're already overbooked, and

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<v Speaker 1>how to communicate this change to your family and friends,

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<v Speaker 1>So make sure you're subscribed. Hit that follow button right

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<v Speaker 1>now so you know when that's ready, and we will

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<v Speaker 1>continue this conversation and you will get the four to

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<v Speaker 1>one one on how I successfully carve out time for

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<v Speaker 1>myself and start choosing me first. You deserve this, friends,

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<v Speaker 1>you really do. So until the bonus episode, let's do this.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's try claiming fifteen minutes today. Don't fill it with

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<v Speaker 1>a task, just claim it as your own. Sit with it.

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<v Speaker 1>That is your first step toward claiming the twenty fifth

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<v Speaker 1>hour that was already waiting for you. Thank you for

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<v Speaker 1>choosing me. Bye for now,