Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Hello,
Speaker 1: welcome back to I Choose Me. As you know, this
Speaker 1: podcast is all about choices, but today it's a just
Speaker 1: Jenny episode, and I'm going to be talking about something
Speaker 1: that I know is going to hit home for almost
Speaker 1: every person listening, maybe just in different ways. It's that
Speaker 1: thing we are all chasing time. Okay, So here's a question.
Speaker 1: What is up with this constant feeling of just being
Speaker 1: slammed all the time, like go go go every day.
Speaker 1: I mean, truly, it's constantly just grinding, just carrying so
Speaker 1: much on your shoulders. I don't know about you, but
Speaker 1: I can feel it sometimes, like I can feel the
Speaker 1: weight of all the commitments and all of the things
Speaker 1: that I need to do and be. It's heavy. It's
Speaker 1: a lot, and I know if I'm feeling it, you're
Speaker 1: feeling it too, in whatever your scenario is. And it
Speaker 1: doesn't even matter what the weight actually is, because my
Speaker 1: weight is different than your weight. Maybe your weight is.
Speaker 1: You're feeling anxious about the possibility of losing your job.
Speaker 1: I mean, hello, we all need our jobs, but there's
Speaker 1: an underlying fear that I have of not being able
Speaker 1: to take care of myself or my family. And that's
Speaker 1: that's a deep fear. It's always there. Life is Krayz
Speaker 1: right now. Who knows. Maybe you're a new parent and
Speaker 1: you're juggling an entire new life, a new list of responsibilities.
Speaker 1: You got bottles, you got the diapers, you're sleep deprived.
Speaker 1: It's a lot. There's no handbook for Actually, there is
Speaker 1: a handbook for it. I read it. You probably read it.
Speaker 1: What to expect and respecting. But you know what I'm
Speaker 1: saying is, even in different situations, if you're a parent,
Speaker 1: there's the forever epic responsibility of being a good mom
Speaker 1: or dad through every stage and every age. Or maybe
Speaker 1: you're a parent to an adult kid who still needs
Speaker 1: a lot of let's just call it guidance, and we're
Speaker 1: trying to figure out how to do this. You know,
Speaker 1: we're trying to stay connected with our adult kids as
Speaker 1: they're leaving the nest, but also knowing, you know, we
Speaker 1: got to let them fly. So yeah, figuring out that
Speaker 1: whole new rhythm, that whole vibe take some work. Perhaps
Speaker 1: you're all the sudden face having to be a completely
Speaker 1: different kind of parent, like me to an eighty three
Speaker 1: year old infant child who used to be my parent.
Speaker 1: Kind of thing which requires a great amount of love, yes,
Speaker 1: but also patience, so much patience, like all the patients sometimes,
Speaker 1: but you know in your bones that's what you need
Speaker 1: to be doing. Oh and then there's the relationships. They
Speaker 1: are work. A commitment to grow alongside with your person,
Speaker 1: whether you are together or apart, is a lot of work.
Speaker 1: You have to give that time or it will just
Speaker 1: fizzle and you will grow apart, and we don't want
Speaker 1: that to happen. Or maybe it's just all the hoops,
Speaker 1: all the hoops that you've been jumping through trying to
Speaker 1: hustle your schedule so that you can do all the things.
Speaker 1: And then least we forget the you of it, all
Speaker 1: the upkeep of you. You guys, it is real. Your
Speaker 1: physical health, your mental health, your skin and hair health,
Speaker 1: your eyes, your teeth, your gut, your pelvic floor. It's
Speaker 1: like it's never ending. This list is never ending of
Speaker 1: things we need to do to take care of ourselves.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'll let you in on a little insight.
Speaker 1: I am working harder now than I've ever worked in
Speaker 1: my life. When I look at my calendar, I almost
Speaker 1: have a panic attack because literally every hour is accounted
Speaker 1: for in my workday, from getting up, exercising, eating breakfast,
Speaker 1: it's all on the calendar. Sit down and work on
Speaker 1: your book, go to the meeting, get on that zoom
Speaker 1: call design Fall twenty twenty six. Like, there is so
Speaker 1: much to do in every single day. Sometimes I think
Speaker 1: there's no way I'm going to get it all done.
Speaker 1: And sometimes I think, oh my gosh, I don't want
Speaker 1: to be so scheduled. My entire life is like on
Speaker 1: the calendar. It's there's something so helpful about scheduling your time,
Speaker 1: but then there's also something like, ooh, that's a lot,
Speaker 1: and this living of a life, it's a big deal.
Speaker 1: If you're like me, you're saying yes to everything. You
Speaker 1: want to fix every problem, you want to help every person.
Speaker 1: You want to do all the things. But sometimes maybe
Speaker 1: this will happen to you. I was on the phone
Speaker 1: with one of my friends the other day. I was
Speaker 1: wanting to be there for her. Well, of course, listen,
Speaker 1: I want to help her, and I realized I was
Speaker 1: trying to solve a problem that wasn't mine to solve it.
Speaker 1: And you, guys, I have a lot of problems to solve,
Speaker 1: and I felt like it was adding like ten pounds
Speaker 1: of emotional weight to my back. We do that without
Speaker 1: even thinking. We take on other people's problems. But if
Speaker 1: we have any self awareness, hopefully we slow down for
Speaker 1: half a second and we realize, oh, okay, I am
Speaker 1: actually running on fumes here. My tank was getting way
Speaker 1: too close to e and we go to that dialogue,
Speaker 1: Oh okay, it's okay. I just have time today to
Speaker 1: take care of myself. If I only had a little
Speaker 1: more time, if I only had another hour in the day,
Speaker 1: then I would finally find the time to take care
Speaker 1: of me. That thought, if I only had more time
Speaker 1: is the mythical twenty fifth hour. We chase it, but
Speaker 1: we never find it. The truth is that hour is
Speaker 1: a total illusion. So the mythical twenty fifth hour, it's
Speaker 1: the hour we tell ourselves we'll finally rest, I'll finally
Speaker 1: work out. I'll just finally get to sit in silence
Speaker 1: and think about what I'm grateful for. But here's the truth.
Speaker 1: If we magically had a twenty fifth hour in the day,
Speaker 1: most of us wouldn't use it to rest. We'd fill
Speaker 1: it right back up. Another errand another quick phone call
Speaker 1: for work another thing for the kids. It's like dig
Speaker 1: in a hole in the sand and you know you're
Speaker 1: making the space. You're digging in there, you're trying to
Speaker 1: carve out somewhere safe. But before you know it, a wave,
Speaker 1: Yes I'm getting metaphorical here, another task floods the space
Speaker 1: and then before you know another big wave comes along,
Speaker 1: more obligations, more to dos. The sand just collapses. It
Speaker 1: flattens out, like your space never existed. It's gone. Sometimes
Speaker 1: you just have to reorganize things. You have to reprioritize.
Speaker 1: Even though you've got it all laid out and you think,
Speaker 1: here's the plan, this is going to work. Something will
Speaker 1: come up and you will need to add that in
Speaker 1: make that happen, find that time. And for me, it
Speaker 1: is usually about looking at what I have, deciding what
Speaker 1: can slide to the next day, what can go to
Speaker 1: next week, what needs my attention right now? And that's
Speaker 1: how I sort of prioritize my to dos on my calendar.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry to say this, but I'm sausage just talking
Speaker 1: about all this. You guys. The problem, though I want
Speaker 1: you to know, is not the clock. The problem is
Speaker 1: that we don't want to spend time or make the
Speaker 1: effort to take care of ourselves, to keep digging the
Speaker 1: holes and finding that safe space. The problem is we
Speaker 1: stop loving ourselves enough to prioritize our well being over
Speaker 1: all the other noises. We've trained ourselves and crucially, we
Speaker 1: train the people around us that we are endlessly available.
Speaker 1: I've had to learn that the hard way that when
Speaker 1: I drop everything to rescue someone, I'm actually teaching them
Speaker 1: that my time is less valuable than their emergency. I mean,
Speaker 1: you know, unless it's an actual physical emergency. Choosing me
Speaker 1: isn't selfish, Guys, is an act of necessary self love,
Speaker 1: and teaching others how to respect my boundaries is a priority. Okay, So,
Speaker 1: since I've gone a little long here and maybe even
Speaker 1: gotten a little too worked up, I want to leave
Speaker 1: you with a promise this isn't just a venting session.
Speaker 1: We are going to fix this. I am going to
Speaker 1: drop my tips to choosing my time on a bonus
Speaker 1: episode in a couple of days. We're talking concrete steps
Speaker 1: how to schedule your workout without guilt, how to say
Speaker 1: no to a new commitment when you're already overbooked, and
Speaker 1: how to communicate this change to your family and friends,
Speaker 1: So make sure you're subscribed. Hit that follow button right
Speaker 1: now so you know when that's ready, and we will
Speaker 1: continue this conversation and you will get the four to
Speaker 1: one one on how I successfully carve out time for
Speaker 1: myself and start choosing me first. You deserve this, friends,
Speaker 1: you really do. So until the bonus episode, let's do this.
Speaker 1: Let's try claiming fifteen minutes today. Don't fill it with
Speaker 1: a task, just claim it as your own. Sit with it.
Speaker 1: That is your first step toward claiming the twenty fifth
Speaker 1: hour that was already waiting for you. Thank you for
Speaker 1: choosing me. Bye for now,