1
00:00:01,800 --> 00:00:09,680
Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Hello,

2
00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:13,840
Speaker 1: welcome back to I Choose Me. As you know, this

3
00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:18,000
Speaker 1: podcast is all about choices, but today it's a just

4
00:00:18,239 --> 00:00:22,279
Speaker 1: Jenny episode, and I'm going to be talking about something

5
00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:25,280
Speaker 1: that I know is going to hit home for almost

6
00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:30,720
Speaker 1: every person listening, maybe just in different ways. It's that

7
00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:37,640
Speaker 1: thing we are all chasing time. Okay, So here's a question.

8
00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:43,199
Speaker 1: What is up with this constant feeling of just being

9
00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:49,240
Speaker 1: slammed all the time, like go go go every day.

10
00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:54,720
Speaker 1: I mean, truly, it's constantly just grinding, just carrying so

11
00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:59,320
Speaker 1: much on your shoulders. I don't know about you, but

12
00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:02,960
Speaker 1: I can feel it sometimes, like I can feel the

13
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:07,399
Speaker 1: weight of all the commitments and all of the things

14
00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:11,119
Speaker 1: that I need to do and be. It's heavy. It's

15
00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:14,480
Speaker 1: a lot, and I know if I'm feeling it, you're

16
00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:20,000
Speaker 1: feeling it too, in whatever your scenario is. And it

17
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:23,160
Speaker 1: doesn't even matter what the weight actually is, because my

18
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:26,720
Speaker 1: weight is different than your weight. Maybe your weight is.

19
00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:30,959
Speaker 1: You're feeling anxious about the possibility of losing your job.

20
00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:35,400
Speaker 1: I mean, hello, we all need our jobs, but there's

21
00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:40,480
Speaker 1: an underlying fear that I have of not being able

22
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:44,880
Speaker 1: to take care of myself or my family. And that's

23
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:50,880
Speaker 1: that's a deep fear. It's always there. Life is Krayz

24
00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:56,600
Speaker 1: right now. Who knows. Maybe you're a new parent and

25
00:01:56,800 --> 00:02:02,160
Speaker 1: you're juggling an entire new life, a new list of responsibilities.

26
00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:06,720
Speaker 1: You got bottles, you got the diapers, you're sleep deprived.

27
00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:11,000
Speaker 1: It's a lot. There's no handbook for Actually, there is

28
00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:13,440
Speaker 1: a handbook for it. I read it. You probably read it.

29
00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:15,960
Speaker 1: What to expect and respecting. But you know what I'm

30
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:19,800
Speaker 1: saying is, even in different situations, if you're a parent,

31
00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:24,840
Speaker 1: there's the forever epic responsibility of being a good mom

32
00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:30,359
Speaker 1: or dad through every stage and every age. Or maybe

33
00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:34,240
Speaker 1: you're a parent to an adult kid who still needs

34
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:39,959
Speaker 1: a lot of let's just call it guidance, and we're

35
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,080
Speaker 1: trying to figure out how to do this. You know,

36
00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:45,880
Speaker 1: we're trying to stay connected with our adult kids as

37
00:02:45,919 --> 00:02:49,760
Speaker 1: they're leaving the nest, but also knowing, you know, we

38
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:53,200
Speaker 1: got to let them fly. So yeah, figuring out that

39
00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:58,440
Speaker 1: whole new rhythm, that whole vibe take some work. Perhaps

40
00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:01,960
Speaker 1: you're all the sudden face having to be a completely

41
00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:05,280
Speaker 1: different kind of parent, like me to an eighty three

42
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:08,480
Speaker 1: year old infant child who used to be my parent.

43
00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:13,799
Speaker 1: Kind of thing which requires a great amount of love, yes,

44
00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:18,600
Speaker 1: but also patience, so much patience, like all the patients sometimes,

45
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:22,200
Speaker 1: but you know in your bones that's what you need

46
00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:27,240
Speaker 1: to be doing. Oh and then there's the relationships. They

47
00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:31,520
Speaker 1: are work. A commitment to grow alongside with your person,

48
00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:34,960
Speaker 1: whether you are together or apart, is a lot of work.

49
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,560
Speaker 1: You have to give that time or it will just

50
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:41,320
Speaker 1: fizzle and you will grow apart, and we don't want

51
00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:43,680
Speaker 1: that to happen. Or maybe it's just all the hoops,

52
00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:47,520
Speaker 1: all the hoops that you've been jumping through trying to

53
00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:51,680
Speaker 1: hustle your schedule so that you can do all the things.

54
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:56,160
Speaker 1: And then least we forget the you of it, all

55
00:03:56,320 --> 00:04:00,720
Speaker 1: the upkeep of you. You guys, it is real. Your

56
00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:04,760
Speaker 1: physical health, your mental health, your skin and hair health,

57
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:08,480
Speaker 1: your eyes, your teeth, your gut, your pelvic floor. It's

58
00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:11,680
Speaker 1: like it's never ending. This list is never ending of

59
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:14,200
Speaker 1: things we need to do to take care of ourselves.

60
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,880
Speaker 1: I mean, I'll let you in on a little insight.

61
00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:20,200
Speaker 1: I am working harder now than I've ever worked in

62
00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:23,320
Speaker 1: my life. When I look at my calendar, I almost

63
00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:27,680
Speaker 1: have a panic attack because literally every hour is accounted

64
00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:32,680
Speaker 1: for in my workday, from getting up, exercising, eating breakfast,

65
00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:35,359
Speaker 1: it's all on the calendar. Sit down and work on

66
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,800
Speaker 1: your book, go to the meeting, get on that zoom

67
00:04:38,839 --> 00:04:44,480
Speaker 1: call design Fall twenty twenty six. Like, there is so

68
00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:47,400
Speaker 1: much to do in every single day. Sometimes I think

69
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:49,359
Speaker 1: there's no way I'm going to get it all done.

70
00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:51,560
Speaker 1: And sometimes I think, oh my gosh, I don't want

71
00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:54,920
Speaker 1: to be so scheduled. My entire life is like on

72
00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:59,920
Speaker 1: the calendar. It's there's something so helpful about scheduling your time,

73
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:02,599
Speaker 1: but then there's also something like, ooh, that's a lot,

74
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,479
Speaker 1: and this living of a life, it's a big deal.

75
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:09,719
Speaker 1: If you're like me, you're saying yes to everything. You

76
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:12,480
Speaker 1: want to fix every problem, you want to help every person.

77
00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:16,640
Speaker 1: You want to do all the things. But sometimes maybe

78
00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:18,680
Speaker 1: this will happen to you. I was on the phone

79
00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:21,320
Speaker 1: with one of my friends the other day. I was

80
00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:23,760
Speaker 1: wanting to be there for her. Well, of course, listen,

81
00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:26,640
Speaker 1: I want to help her, and I realized I was

82
00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:29,480
Speaker 1: trying to solve a problem that wasn't mine to solve it.

83
00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:31,440
Speaker 1: And you, guys, I have a lot of problems to solve,

84
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:35,679
Speaker 1: and I felt like it was adding like ten pounds

85
00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:38,599
Speaker 1: of emotional weight to my back. We do that without

86
00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:42,440
Speaker 1: even thinking. We take on other people's problems. But if

87
00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:47,120
Speaker 1: we have any self awareness, hopefully we slow down for

88
00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:52,560
Speaker 1: half a second and we realize, oh, okay, I am

89
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:56,320
Speaker 1: actually running on fumes here. My tank was getting way

90
00:05:56,360 --> 00:06:00,760
Speaker 1: too close to e and we go to that dialogue,

91
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:04,960
Speaker 1: Oh okay, it's okay. I just have time today to

92
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,159
Speaker 1: take care of myself. If I only had a little

93
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,040
Speaker 1: more time, if I only had another hour in the day,

94
00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:11,520
Speaker 1: then I would finally find the time to take care

95
00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:14,440
Speaker 1: of me. That thought, if I only had more time

96
00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:18,360
Speaker 1: is the mythical twenty fifth hour. We chase it, but

97
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:28,719
Speaker 1: we never find it. The truth is that hour is

98
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:32,120
Speaker 1: a total illusion. So the mythical twenty fifth hour, it's

99
00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:36,200
Speaker 1: the hour we tell ourselves we'll finally rest, I'll finally

100
00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:39,880
Speaker 1: work out. I'll just finally get to sit in silence

101
00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:43,440
Speaker 1: and think about what I'm grateful for. But here's the truth.

102
00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:46,920
Speaker 1: If we magically had a twenty fifth hour in the day,

103
00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:51,120
Speaker 1: most of us wouldn't use it to rest. We'd fill

104
00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:54,520
Speaker 1: it right back up. Another errand another quick phone call

105
00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:58,680
Speaker 1: for work another thing for the kids. It's like dig

106
00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:01,440
Speaker 1: in a hole in the sand and you know you're

107
00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:04,720
Speaker 1: making the space. You're digging in there, you're trying to

108
00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:08,320
Speaker 1: carve out somewhere safe. But before you know it, a wave,

109
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:13,200
Speaker 1: Yes I'm getting metaphorical here, another task floods the space

110
00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:15,960
Speaker 1: and then before you know another big wave comes along,

111
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:20,600
Speaker 1: more obligations, more to dos. The sand just collapses. It

112
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:25,560
Speaker 1: flattens out, like your space never existed. It's gone. Sometimes

113
00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:28,600
Speaker 1: you just have to reorganize things. You have to reprioritize.

114
00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:31,400
Speaker 1: Even though you've got it all laid out and you think,

115
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:34,400
Speaker 1: here's the plan, this is going to work. Something will

116
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:38,120
Speaker 1: come up and you will need to add that in

117
00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:42,160
Speaker 1: make that happen, find that time. And for me, it

118
00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:46,920
Speaker 1: is usually about looking at what I have, deciding what

119
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,720
Speaker 1: can slide to the next day, what can go to

120
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:54,600
Speaker 1: next week, what needs my attention right now? And that's

121
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:58,480
Speaker 1: how I sort of prioritize my to dos on my calendar.

122
00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:00,800
Speaker 1: I'm sorry to say this, but I'm sausage just talking

123
00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:03,840
Speaker 1: about all this. You guys. The problem, though I want

124
00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:07,600
Speaker 1: you to know, is not the clock. The problem is

125
00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:10,600
Speaker 1: that we don't want to spend time or make the

126
00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:14,360
Speaker 1: effort to take care of ourselves, to keep digging the

127
00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:19,240
Speaker 1: holes and finding that safe space. The problem is we

128
00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:23,000
Speaker 1: stop loving ourselves enough to prioritize our well being over

129
00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:28,520
Speaker 1: all the other noises. We've trained ourselves and crucially, we

130
00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:32,559
Speaker 1: train the people around us that we are endlessly available.

131
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:35,520
Speaker 1: I've had to learn that the hard way that when

132
00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:39,440
Speaker 1: I drop everything to rescue someone, I'm actually teaching them

133
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:44,280
Speaker 1: that my time is less valuable than their emergency. I mean,

134
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:48,000
Speaker 1: you know, unless it's an actual physical emergency. Choosing me

135
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:52,160
Speaker 1: isn't selfish, Guys, is an act of necessary self love,

136
00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:58,920
Speaker 1: and teaching others how to respect my boundaries is a priority. Okay, So,

137
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:01,120
Speaker 1: since I've gone a little long here and maybe even

138
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:03,439
Speaker 1: gotten a little too worked up, I want to leave

139
00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:06,480
Speaker 1: you with a promise this isn't just a venting session.

140
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:09,800
Speaker 1: We are going to fix this. I am going to

141
00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:13,360
Speaker 1: drop my tips to choosing my time on a bonus

142
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:16,840
Speaker 1: episode in a couple of days. We're talking concrete steps

143
00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:20,280
Speaker 1: how to schedule your workout without guilt, how to say

144
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:23,440
Speaker 1: no to a new commitment when you're already overbooked, and

145
00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:27,360
Speaker 1: how to communicate this change to your family and friends,

146
00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:31,079
Speaker 1: So make sure you're subscribed. Hit that follow button right

147
00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:34,520
Speaker 1: now so you know when that's ready, and we will

148
00:09:34,559 --> 00:09:37,640
Speaker 1: continue this conversation and you will get the four to

149
00:09:37,679 --> 00:09:40,840
Speaker 1: one one on how I successfully carve out time for

150
00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:46,920
Speaker 1: myself and start choosing me first. You deserve this, friends,

151
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:50,880
Speaker 1: you really do. So until the bonus episode, let's do this.

152
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:55,360
Speaker 1: Let's try claiming fifteen minutes today. Don't fill it with

153
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:59,280
Speaker 1: a task, just claim it as your own. Sit with it.

154
00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:03,559
Speaker 1: That is your first step toward claiming the twenty fifth

155
00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:07,079
Speaker 1: hour that was already waiting for you. Thank you for

156
00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:10,479
Speaker 1: choosing me. Bye for now,