1 00:00:01,320 --> 00:00:04,600 Speaker 1: Hey, lady, is doctor dom here. If you like this 2 00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:07,240 Speaker 1: show and you want to make your own, let me 3 00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:10,840 Speaker 1: tell you about the free platform Anchor. It's a creation 4 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,800 Speaker 1: tool that allows you to record and edit your podcast 5 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:17,280 Speaker 1: right from your phone or computer. You can add songs 6 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:21,000 Speaker 1: from Spotify and create any type of content that you 7 00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:24,400 Speaker 1: are looking for. Anchor will distribute it all for you 8 00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:28,440 Speaker 1: so it can be heard on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and more. 9 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:32,080 Speaker 1: Download the free Anchor app or go to anchor dot 10 00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:33,800 Speaker 1: fm to get started. 11 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:36,440 Speaker 2: On this week's episode. In her Space. 12 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:40,479 Speaker 3: Hopefully started making a lot of money relatively quickly. And 13 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:42,600 Speaker 3: the more money I made, the more money I spent. 14 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:45,800 Speaker 3: And here I am making you a quarter million dollars 15 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:49,120 Speaker 3: a year in my late twenties and paying out between 16 00:00:49,159 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 3: fifteen and twenty thousand dollars a month in bills. I 17 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:54,240 Speaker 3: was spending so much that sometimes we have to have 18 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:59,440 Speaker 3: an outside for us coming and pay our electric bill. 19 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:03,760 Speaker 4: Welcome to her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting women 20 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:09,040 Speaker 4: like you. We're your hosts, Doctor Dominique Broussard, a college 21 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:11,360 Speaker 4: professor and psychologist. 22 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:13,160 Speaker 5: And Terry Lomax, a techie. 23 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:14,120 Speaker 2: And motivational speaker. 24 00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:19,480 Speaker 6: In a world where Black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood. 25 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:24,640 Speaker 6: Please join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything 26 00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:28,240 Speaker 6: from fibroids to fake friends and create a safe space 27 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:30,360 Speaker 6: where black women can just be. 28 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:39,720 Speaker 4: Hey, lady, it's doctor Dom here from the her Space podcast. 29 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:42,319 Speaker 4: Do you have a burning question you're dying to get 30 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:46,039 Speaker 4: feedback on? Do you want an unbiased perspective on a 31 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:51,080 Speaker 4: situation you're facing? If so, visit her spacepodcast dot com 32 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:55,080 Speaker 4: and click ask doctor Dom under the start here option. 33 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:58,320 Speaker 4: Every Tuesday, I'll choose a few questions and answer them 34 00:01:58,360 --> 00:01:58,960 Speaker 4: at random. 35 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:03,000 Speaker 7: Lady, if you've been wanting to get your financial house 36 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:07,160 Speaker 7: in order, today's guest is here just for you. Constance 37 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:10,640 Speaker 7: Carter is the CEO of Catalyst real Estate Professionals, the 38 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:14,640 Speaker 7: largest African American owned real estate firm in Northern California. 39 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:18,320 Speaker 7: Constance is a best selling author, an investor with a 40 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:24,680 Speaker 7: diverse portfolio, a coach, speaker, mentee, and mentor. She's been 41 00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:28,959 Speaker 7: featured on Black Enterprise, The Huffington Post, and Rolling Out magazine, 42 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:32,080 Speaker 7: but her most proudest accomplishment is being a wife and 43 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:36,520 Speaker 7: a mother of four beautiful children. Hey, Ms Carter, Welcome, 44 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:41,520 Speaker 7: to her space. Thank you for the invitation I allowing 45 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:42,760 Speaker 7: me to be on. 46 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:46,080 Speaker 8: And grace your podcast today. So thank you so much. 47 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:47,480 Speaker 2: You are so welcome. 48 00:02:47,919 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 4: We are so excited to have you here, and so 49 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:53,200 Speaker 4: we're going to dive right in. We are going to 50 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:56,919 Speaker 4: start off with our quote of the day, and our 51 00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:01,080 Speaker 4: quote comes from you, missus Carter. When you say things 52 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:04,760 Speaker 4: like I'm broke, you're telling the universe to keep you 53 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:07,640 Speaker 4: in the state of lack, and you're programming your mind 54 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:11,280 Speaker 4: to keep you there. Your words are powerful and prophetic, 55 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:15,120 Speaker 4: and what you say becomes real. If you want to 56 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:19,919 Speaker 4: have more, you have to speak it into existence. MSUs Carter, 57 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:21,679 Speaker 4: I love those words. 58 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:25,440 Speaker 8: Oh wow, I really believe them. I really believe them. 59 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:28,520 Speaker 3: I believe you know, it's a universal principle. Like whatever 60 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:31,799 Speaker 3: you put out there is going to come back. I've 61 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:35,560 Speaker 3: seen it time and time and time again. And our 62 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:38,200 Speaker 3: words not only shift what happens in the universe, but 63 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:39,400 Speaker 3: it shifts our mindsets. 64 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:42,040 Speaker 8: That's why like affirmations are so important. 65 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:44,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, So just whatever you put out there in the universe, 66 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,080 Speaker 3: that's what's going to happen. 67 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:47,760 Speaker 8: And I just I really believe. 68 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:49,960 Speaker 7: That now, Constance, I met you a year ago at 69 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:53,000 Speaker 7: your Wealth Summit and you, you know, looking at you 70 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:55,560 Speaker 7: and where you are today, I mean it's incredible. 71 00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:57,680 Speaker 2: I mean it's just so incredible to see you, to 72 00:03:57,720 --> 00:03:59,680 Speaker 2: see your family, to see all that you've accomplished. 73 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:01,280 Speaker 7: But when I started to reading your book, I was 74 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:04,320 Speaker 7: like what constantly this is where she began Like it 75 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:06,840 Speaker 7: blew me away. So in your book, The Secret of 76 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:10,240 Speaker 7: Breaking the bro Code, you talk about coming from humble beginnings. 77 00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:12,520 Speaker 7: Can you talk a bit about how your upbringing played 78 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:14,360 Speaker 7: a role in your relationship to money. 79 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:17,520 Speaker 3: I think that is the premise for how most people 80 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:20,720 Speaker 3: treat their relationships with money. So sometimes when you come 81 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,880 Speaker 3: from humble beginnings, either it's going to hinder you or 82 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:23,359 Speaker 3: propel you. 83 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:24,440 Speaker 8: It's gonna do one of two things. 84 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:26,360 Speaker 3: Either you're gonna you're gonna repeat those patterns, or you're 85 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:28,479 Speaker 3: gonna really break the cycle and you're gonna do so much. 86 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:32,000 Speaker 8: Better than what you've seen. So my parents came from Arkansas. 87 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:35,400 Speaker 3: You know, they weren't, you know, very educated, a lot 88 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:38,360 Speaker 3: of love, but it was very tumultuous, and I remember 89 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:40,400 Speaker 3: just hearing all the time like we can't get this 90 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:42,479 Speaker 3: because we got back credit, can't do that because we 91 00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:43,159 Speaker 3: have back credit. 92 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,640 Speaker 8: I had no idea what back credit was when I 93 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:46,160 Speaker 8: was little. I just knew it was going in our lives. 94 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,320 Speaker 3: Whatever this back credit was, I did not want it 95 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:51,080 Speaker 3: because we couldn't do anything because of you. And so, 96 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:53,200 Speaker 3: you know, I was very conscious of that as I 97 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:56,919 Speaker 3: came up, and I made vowels in my mind that 98 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:59,479 Speaker 3: I was gonna do better than than the way I 99 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:02,000 Speaker 3: came and I started off real good, like I started 100 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:04,520 Speaker 3: off great, kept my files and kept my bills, and 101 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:06,440 Speaker 3: like a credit score was great. But I didn't have 102 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:10,440 Speaker 3: a real understanding of how to handle money, because when 103 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:12,359 Speaker 3: I was twenty six, I started in. Let's say, I 104 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:15,520 Speaker 3: got started making a lot of money relatively quickly, and 105 00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:17,679 Speaker 3: the more money I made, the more money I spent. 106 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:20,479 Speaker 3: And here I am making, you know, a quarter million 107 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:23,839 Speaker 3: dollars a year in my late twenties and paying out 108 00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:26,320 Speaker 3: between fifteen and twenty thousand dollars a month in bills. 109 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:29,000 Speaker 3: I was spending so much that sometimes we had to 110 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:32,520 Speaker 3: have an outside force coming and pay our electric bill 111 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,919 Speaker 3: or we couldn't you know, may not have been been 112 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:37,599 Speaker 3: able to buy groceries, or I remember not being able 113 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:39,679 Speaker 3: to buy my kids a day pass of the fair 114 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:41,919 Speaker 3: so they could ride rides because we just didn't have 115 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:43,800 Speaker 3: the money. But I was making all this money, but 116 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:46,800 Speaker 3: I was spending it, so not really understanding how to 117 00:05:46,839 --> 00:05:47,560 Speaker 3: manage that money. 118 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:49,200 Speaker 8: Because you can, you can make a whole lot. 119 00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:52,120 Speaker 3: You know, the difference between you and a person that 120 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:54,040 Speaker 3: makes fifty thousand dollars, and if you make two hundred 121 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:56,560 Speaker 3: fifty thousand dollars, it doesn't matter that person fifty thousand dollars. 122 00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:58,919 Speaker 3: They are good with their money. Financially, they're in a 123 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,680 Speaker 3: much better place. It's going to sustain them a lot longer. 124 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:04,200 Speaker 3: So I had to learn the hard way and ended 125 00:06:04,279 --> 00:06:09,120 Speaker 3: up filing bankruptcy. But those formative years definitely affected how 126 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,880 Speaker 3: I handled money. The credit piece, I was really like 127 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:14,400 Speaker 3: I said, I was really like set on having back credit, 128 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:16,520 Speaker 3: and I was actually I've always been really like credit 129 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:19,320 Speaker 3: conscious and obsessed with credit. But when I had to 130 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:22,200 Speaker 3: file bankruptcy, my credit score went from an eight hundred 131 00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:24,640 Speaker 3: down to a three seventy nine, and so I hit 132 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:27,720 Speaker 3: rock credit bottom. And as my you know, obsession grew, 133 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,400 Speaker 3: I learned more. I ended up taking what I learned 134 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:32,640 Speaker 3: and I started teaching other people and helping them because 135 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:35,480 Speaker 3: I know how critical it is, especially in the African 136 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:40,320 Speaker 3: American community with credit challenges statistically speaking, So I used 137 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:42,680 Speaker 3: that to you know, I always say that I use 138 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:45,320 Speaker 3: my own hardships as a blueprint to help other people, 139 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:47,000 Speaker 3: which is extremely important. 140 00:06:47,279 --> 00:06:50,039 Speaker 4: And so can you share with us. I know that 141 00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:52,760 Speaker 4: you put a lot of this information or all of 142 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:58,320 Speaker 4: this information in your books, but can you share with 143 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:04,800 Speaker 4: our listeners piece about how you go from that mentality 144 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:11,720 Speaker 4: of being broke and separating that from like your family history, 145 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:15,080 Speaker 4: because I think sometimes for a lot of us, it's 146 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:21,960 Speaker 4: hard to separate our family patterns because it almost sometimes 147 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:26,080 Speaker 4: it may feel like we're this in our family right, 148 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:29,960 Speaker 4: like we're saying something negative to break those habits. It's 149 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,520 Speaker 4: almost kind of like we're just in our family. We're 150 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,920 Speaker 4: shaming our family. And so can you talk to us 151 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:37,360 Speaker 4: a little bit about how you navigated that part of it, 152 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:39,280 Speaker 4: because I think that is what keeps a lot of 153 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:42,360 Speaker 4: people stuck in that cycle of poverty. 154 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:46,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I think for me, even though I 155 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:49,040 Speaker 3: made good decisions, that I made bad decisions. 156 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:51,200 Speaker 8: You know, life is full of peaks and valleys. 157 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,680 Speaker 3: I think some things that were helping me in my 158 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:57,160 Speaker 3: formative years really kind of propelled me to. 159 00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:58,560 Speaker 8: Make the decisions that I made. 160 00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:01,280 Speaker 3: So even though I made some bad decisions, I still 161 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:03,160 Speaker 3: had some things that I was taught when I was 162 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:05,560 Speaker 3: young that kind of moved me forward. Like my mom 163 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:07,520 Speaker 3: used to tell me, Like they used to say I 164 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:09,480 Speaker 3: was smart. Right, So since I was really small, they 165 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:11,160 Speaker 3: say I was smart because I knew everybody's. 166 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:14,960 Speaker 8: From her macy what says that phone number? I like 167 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:17,360 Speaker 8: sixteen ny three out? What says that for six two 168 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:17,720 Speaker 8: sixty three? 169 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:18,240 Speaker 5: Like? 170 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:19,680 Speaker 8: Right, So they were like shells. 171 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:22,240 Speaker 3: Everybody says she's so smart, So I believe them, right, 172 00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:24,080 Speaker 3: So first of all, tell you know, whatever you tell 173 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:25,280 Speaker 3: a child, they're gonna believe. 174 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:26,240 Speaker 8: It no matter what. 175 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:29,320 Speaker 3: My my siblings did not have the same thing, right, 176 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,080 Speaker 3: my sister, my sister and brother, they're super smart. My 177 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:35,080 Speaker 3: parents were extremely young when they had them, so they 178 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:36,839 Speaker 3: trying to figure it out. My mom was sixteen when 179 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:38,679 Speaker 3: she had when they heard my dad had my brother, 180 00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:41,000 Speaker 3: and nineteen when they had my sister, you know, twenty 181 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,360 Speaker 3: four when they had me, So they were a little 182 00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:47,120 Speaker 3: bit better by the time they had me, but still 183 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:50,319 Speaker 3: like they didn't instill that those same those same little 184 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:52,960 Speaker 3: things inside them that they instilled in me, if that 185 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:56,120 Speaker 3: makes sense. And so so, even though a lot of 186 00:08:56,120 --> 00:09:00,400 Speaker 3: the habits came from the familial background, but some of 187 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,559 Speaker 3: the things that they instilled in me when I was small, 188 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:05,000 Speaker 3: just insaying that I'm smart, or when my aunt told 189 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:07,160 Speaker 3: me when I was in Sunday School that I was 190 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:10,120 Speaker 3: equally as important as the president of the United States, 191 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:13,040 Speaker 3: like that was that was mind blowing for me because 192 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,680 Speaker 3: you know, as a little black girl, who who you 193 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:19,640 Speaker 3: come into this world are all automatically with a lot 194 00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:20,800 Speaker 3: of chips on your shoulders. 195 00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:22,839 Speaker 8: You know, when I was five, my mom got a. 196 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:24,280 Speaker 3: Black doll and I wanted a white doll because I 197 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:26,240 Speaker 3: didn't think the black doll was good enough for pretty enough, 198 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:28,080 Speaker 3: you know what I mean. So you got back into 199 00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:30,760 Speaker 3: the world with those that sort of thinking because of 200 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:33,640 Speaker 3: those subliminal messaging. So my aunt told me I was 201 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:35,520 Speaker 3: just as important as the president of the United States, 202 00:09:35,559 --> 00:09:37,600 Speaker 3: so I for me, it was like, you can do 203 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:38,480 Speaker 3: whatever you want to do. 204 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:40,360 Speaker 8: Nobody's smarter. 205 00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:43,400 Speaker 3: She said, You're no more important and you're no less important. 206 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,040 Speaker 3: You are equally as important. That's what she told me, 207 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:48,280 Speaker 3: and it always stuck with me. So even though the 208 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:51,880 Speaker 3: cycle in which I grew up in in some ways 209 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:55,600 Speaker 3: was toxic. It was loving also, and I've done much 210 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:57,679 Speaker 3: different than the people in my family. You know, my 211 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:01,000 Speaker 3: siblings they're cool. You know, they work nine to fives 212 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:04,480 Speaker 3: and they live very average lives. But they're all you know, 213 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:06,840 Speaker 3: they're all great human beings. It was only because they 214 00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:09,160 Speaker 3: weren't pushed the way I was pushed. But what I've 215 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:12,800 Speaker 3: done as I started, you know, pushing myself forward and 216 00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:15,920 Speaker 3: started doing the work and doing a lot of personal development, 217 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:19,440 Speaker 3: I always encouraged them and pulled them along too, you know. 218 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:23,440 Speaker 3: So there's no separation in terms of breaking any like 219 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:26,560 Speaker 3: family curses because they're all extremely proud of me. They're 220 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,760 Speaker 3: extremely proud of me. They're like, hey, you do your thing, 221 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:34,240 Speaker 3: that's not us. But I'm always like encouraging and you know, 222 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,600 Speaker 3: we all respect each other as a result of it. 223 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:39,080 Speaker 3: But we're just different. Like I just have always had 224 00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:41,200 Speaker 3: been a go getter, and you know my brother and 225 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:44,199 Speaker 3: sister they're not. And you know that's okay. I used 226 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:45,560 Speaker 3: to for years and years. 227 00:10:45,559 --> 00:10:46,679 Speaker 8: You can do it, you can do it, you can 228 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:46,920 Speaker 8: do it. 229 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,840 Speaker 3: They be hyped up for a minute and then like 230 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:50,319 Speaker 3: they just fall back into their patterns. 231 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:55,959 Speaker 8: They're just not interested. That's okay, but you know what 232 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:56,200 Speaker 8: I mean. 233 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:59,160 Speaker 3: So, so the dynamic of the family, the family is great. 234 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,559 Speaker 3: So my parents they got it. My mom left when 235 00:11:01,559 --> 00:11:03,680 Speaker 3: I was fourteen, and you know. 236 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,960 Speaker 8: She like she left. When she left, she she was 237 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,199 Speaker 8: done and it was just my dad. 238 00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:10,360 Speaker 3: And then my dad kicked me out when I was eighteen, 239 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:13,440 Speaker 3: Like I was homeless right when I was eighteen years old. 240 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:16,760 Speaker 3: But since then, probably within the last I want to say, 241 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:21,920 Speaker 3: ten fifteen years, maybe maybe ten years, my village has 242 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:25,320 Speaker 3: come back together full circle. My dad's remarried to somebody else, 243 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:28,520 Speaker 3: my mom's not, and they're all like friends and they're 244 00:11:28,559 --> 00:11:30,079 Speaker 3: all really great grandparents. 245 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:33,240 Speaker 8: So, like the environment now is very supportive. 246 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:35,120 Speaker 3: And that took like a lot of prayer and all 247 00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:37,160 Speaker 3: that other stuff, all the things we had to overcome 248 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:37,840 Speaker 3: that as a family. 249 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:39,760 Speaker 8: But we're in a really good place now. 250 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:42,760 Speaker 7: That's amazing, and that is I know, Constance, I know 251 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:45,160 Speaker 7: we're talking about finances. When I read your story, that 252 00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:46,760 Speaker 7: was what you started your book with, and I was 253 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,960 Speaker 7: just like, that is a lot to deal with at 254 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,760 Speaker 7: such a young age, you know, having your mom leave 255 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:54,280 Speaker 7: and then also you know you talked about how your dad, 256 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:56,439 Speaker 7: I believe, was with the different woman and kind of 257 00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:57,520 Speaker 7: chose her and her. 258 00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,440 Speaker 5: Girls over you, and it was like, dang, my dad 259 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:01,200 Speaker 5: was my that was my road dog. 260 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:02,600 Speaker 2: And now, yeah, so. 261 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:05,080 Speaker 5: Like, can you talk a little bit about just processing 262 00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:06,960 Speaker 5: that in the midst of your own journey and like 263 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,280 Speaker 5: what you did to even overcome that situation, because that 264 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:11,400 Speaker 5: really stood out to us in the book. 265 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:14,199 Speaker 3: Yeah, that was probably the most painful for me because 266 00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:16,239 Speaker 3: my dad has always been my constant. 267 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:19,000 Speaker 8: So my parents, you know, like I said, my parents. 268 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:21,200 Speaker 3: Were very young when they got together, and they used 269 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:24,520 Speaker 3: to get together, separate, get back together, separate. 270 00:12:24,559 --> 00:12:26,400 Speaker 8: But my dad was always very you know, he was 271 00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:26,960 Speaker 8: very stable. 272 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:29,000 Speaker 3: My mom she was just kind of out there, free spirit, 273 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,400 Speaker 3: doing her own thing, getting it with her friends, you know. 274 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:34,680 Speaker 3: But my dad was my constant. So when my mom left, 275 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,000 Speaker 3: it was just me and my dad, my sisters. My 276 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:38,720 Speaker 3: mom was like, hey, my kids are grown, but I 277 00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:41,800 Speaker 3: wasn't grown. You know, my daughter is twenty now, but 278 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:43,959 Speaker 3: I remember when she was fourteen, that was the most 279 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:47,079 Speaker 3: critical time in her life. She needed me as well 280 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:48,760 Speaker 3: as I needed my mom, and she just was like 281 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:52,560 Speaker 3: she had just left. And so it was my dad. 282 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:56,319 Speaker 3: My dad was always my superhero. I mean, like I mean, 283 00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:58,640 Speaker 3: he is to this day. But if you if you 284 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:04,240 Speaker 3: ever understood the ultimate how a daughter feels about her father, 285 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:05,160 Speaker 3: that's how. 286 00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:07,480 Speaker 8: I am about my dad. He's like everything. And so 287 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:07,760 Speaker 8: when he. 288 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:10,920 Speaker 3: Got married, it just like switched from day to night, 289 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:13,880 Speaker 3: like overnight, like he started dating this woman and he 290 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:16,480 Speaker 3: came back and he said, hey, we get married, and well, 291 00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:17,520 Speaker 3: I don't care what y'all think. 292 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:18,960 Speaker 8: And I knew who she was. 293 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:21,240 Speaker 3: I knew because she was my friend's mom, so I 294 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:24,559 Speaker 3: knew like who she really was, but she had a. 295 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:27,439 Speaker 8: Different face with him. It was so strange. 296 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:30,120 Speaker 3: And so when he got married, it was like, you know, 297 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:32,760 Speaker 3: I was there a couple months and then he was like, hey, 298 00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:35,640 Speaker 3: you know, her daughter want your room if you know, 299 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:40,560 Speaker 3: and you know, then they put me out and she 300 00:13:40,679 --> 00:13:42,640 Speaker 3: got mad and he told me to leave and never 301 00:13:42,679 --> 00:13:43,199 Speaker 3: come back. 302 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:45,520 Speaker 8: And that was pretty painful. 303 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:49,840 Speaker 3: But yeah, yeah, especially for you know, again, your dad 304 00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:53,960 Speaker 3: being like your superman and her so that that was 305 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,200 Speaker 3: painful for a while. Was that actually even painful for 306 00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:58,360 Speaker 3: me to even write that in the book, Like as 307 00:13:58,400 --> 00:13:59,800 Speaker 3: I was typing it, like I was. 308 00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:01,559 Speaker 8: I had tears coming down my eyes. And I don't 309 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:02,880 Speaker 8: even cry like that. 310 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,520 Speaker 3: Down my eyes as I was writing it, because it 311 00:14:06,559 --> 00:14:09,000 Speaker 3: took me back to a very painful place. But it 312 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:11,760 Speaker 3: did take you know, my dad still he's still even 313 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:14,280 Speaker 3: in spite of that, because this is his wife started 314 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,440 Speaker 3: to show who she was relatively quickly, and so I mean, 315 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,520 Speaker 3: but he was with her for several years after that. 316 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,000 Speaker 3: But I still was like, Dad, you know, I still 317 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,440 Speaker 3: love my dad. I still wanted to help him, and 318 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:26,880 Speaker 3: you know that that was that just never broke. I 319 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:30,800 Speaker 3: just loved that man so much. And you know there's 320 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:34,000 Speaker 3: you know that he when he when he looks at 321 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,000 Speaker 3: that now, he it hurts him. 322 00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:37,640 Speaker 8: It hurts him so deep. 323 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:42,360 Speaker 3: He's just like, oh baby, don't please, don't please, don't 324 00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:42,760 Speaker 3: say that. 325 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:45,720 Speaker 8: It hurts me. 326 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:48,040 Speaker 7: Did you guys go to therapy or anything to kind 327 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:50,120 Speaker 7: of get okay? 328 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:53,120 Speaker 3: You know sometimes you know, older black man they don't 329 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:55,280 Speaker 3: believe that, right right right? 330 00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:01,560 Speaker 4: So then so that situation was it more of like 331 00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:04,359 Speaker 4: time healed it or yeah. 332 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:06,200 Speaker 8: Okay, yeah for sure for sure. 333 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,440 Speaker 3: But you know, my dad has always been just very 334 00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:10,680 Speaker 3: loving and you know, easy, easy to forgive. 335 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,880 Speaker 8: I knew, I knew he was just weak. 336 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:15,120 Speaker 3: I knew this later that and he was and she 337 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:17,000 Speaker 3: put him in a position where he had to choose, 338 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:19,880 Speaker 3: you know what I mean. And he's just you know, 339 00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:22,920 Speaker 3: he's just always been He's always had these women, even 340 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,600 Speaker 3: with my mom, like these women that were more like really. 341 00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:28,120 Speaker 2: Powerful women, controlling women. 342 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:31,880 Speaker 8: So you know, he just had he happened to get 343 00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:33,600 Speaker 8: another wedd and she was like, yeah, she got to 344 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:36,360 Speaker 8: go and I had to go. So yeah. 345 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:40,680 Speaker 4: So when you look at those formative years and you 346 00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:44,840 Speaker 4: look at those relationship patterns, how do you think that 347 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:50,760 Speaker 4: shaped who you are right now and how you are 348 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:51,640 Speaker 4: with your family? 349 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:55,240 Speaker 8: Oh my god, it is like it is everything. 350 00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:57,840 Speaker 3: And remember I said in the beginning, like whatever you 351 00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:00,000 Speaker 3: go through, either you're going to you're going to do 352 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:03,080 Speaker 3: the same thing. Are you gonna do everything? Like absolutely 353 00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:06,320 Speaker 3: opposite of that. And so that's why for me it's 354 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:09,400 Speaker 3: so important because my parents were so different. My dad 355 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:11,680 Speaker 3: like when I was when I was seven, he had 356 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,720 Speaker 3: gotten saved and he became a deacon in the church 357 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:15,360 Speaker 3: and that became his priority, right. 358 00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:18,880 Speaker 8: My mom did not. She was still doing. 359 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:21,480 Speaker 3: Her thing, kicking it with her friends and hanging out 360 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:26,280 Speaker 3: and just whatever, partying or whatever. So they were so 361 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:30,600 Speaker 3: so opposite. We never had family time. We never I 362 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,360 Speaker 3: don't think we ever. I think we may have ridden 363 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:33,960 Speaker 3: in the car. We didn't think we rode in a 364 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,200 Speaker 3: car together until we were grown, like and they weren't 365 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:38,480 Speaker 3: even married anyway, it was quite a few years ago, right. 366 00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:40,840 Speaker 3: We never owned the car together, never went on family 367 00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:45,240 Speaker 3: vacations together, never ate dinner at the dinner table together, like, none. 368 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:45,600 Speaker 8: Of that stuff. 369 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:49,120 Speaker 3: And so that's why it's so important for me, Like 370 00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:50,960 Speaker 3: and I used to long for that. I used to 371 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,800 Speaker 3: be like, I just want to be a normal family. 372 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:54,920 Speaker 3: I just wanted to be a normal family. So for me, 373 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:57,880 Speaker 3: I probably overdo it with my kids are probably like, 374 00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:01,560 Speaker 3: I'm ever you remember that. I don't know if you 375 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:03,160 Speaker 3: were that car too. And it was like Loudie too, 376 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:05,359 Speaker 3: when that girl was when she had her cat and 377 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:07,359 Speaker 3: she was just hugging and kissing the cat so much. 378 00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:14,080 Speaker 3: I overdo it. They're just like, oh my god, I 379 00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:16,199 Speaker 3: get away from me. But I make sure we have 380 00:17:16,359 --> 00:17:18,240 Speaker 3: that time. You know, I may not have a lot 381 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:22,920 Speaker 3: of time, but the quality of time is paramount, going 382 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:26,080 Speaker 3: on vacations like we do, like anywhere. It depends on 383 00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:27,800 Speaker 3: the year, but we do anywhere between five and ten 384 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:31,119 Speaker 3: vacations a year. We eat dinner at the dinner table, 385 00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:33,840 Speaker 3: we go like you might if you see me on 386 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:36,680 Speaker 3: Facebook with my family, like in a car together, we're 387 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:37,640 Speaker 3: just drying whatever. 388 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:40,639 Speaker 8: Like that is the absolute. 389 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:44,240 Speaker 3: Epitome of a great moment for me, just being with 390 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:47,480 Speaker 3: my husband and my four children, Like that's everything. 391 00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:49,520 Speaker 8: So it has that. 392 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:51,760 Speaker 3: It was something that I longed for when I was younger, 393 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,600 Speaker 3: and it was something that I created in my own life. 394 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:56,639 Speaker 8: And of course I'm not perfect. You know. 395 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:58,000 Speaker 3: Some of the one of the things that I tell 396 00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:00,879 Speaker 3: my kids and having conversation is with them, is you know, 397 00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:03,000 Speaker 3: on a scale of one to ten, how would you 398 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:07,399 Speaker 3: rate our relationship? And I thought, you know, I'm thebomb 399 00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:10,919 Speaker 3: dot com mom. Of course I'm gonna get tens. Of course, 400 00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:14,800 Speaker 3: ye absolutely, And they're like, yeah, around a eight, you know, 401 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,320 Speaker 3: maybe some some nine. 402 00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:19,359 Speaker 8: And I was like what oh. And I was like, okay, 403 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:20,760 Speaker 8: what can I do to become a ten? 404 00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:23,199 Speaker 3: And they're like, you know, sometimes you're not You're just 405 00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:25,719 Speaker 3: you know, you work a lot, or sometimes I know 406 00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:27,760 Speaker 3: you're you're gone. I know you're doing it for us, 407 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,480 Speaker 3: but I just like you to be more engaged. And 408 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:33,200 Speaker 3: so like I'm not perfect. I'm just trying. I'm trying 409 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:34,560 Speaker 3: to be the best mom that I could be. But 410 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:37,119 Speaker 3: what I do tell my kids is that whatever you 411 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:40,480 Speaker 3: don't like in me or your father, make sure you 412 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:43,000 Speaker 3: do something different when you become older, you know, don't 413 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,119 Speaker 3: pick up those same habits and the same patterns. I 414 00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:47,440 Speaker 3: want you to be the best, best version of yourself. 415 00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:49,280 Speaker 8: So that's what I try to do. 416 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:51,800 Speaker 3: Like the stuff that I didn't like with my family, 417 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:55,760 Speaker 3: I just recreated a whole new family dynamic for mine 418 00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:57,960 Speaker 3: and so it's it's the epitome of everything that I 419 00:18:57,960 --> 00:18:59,919 Speaker 3: always wanted with my own family, with my parents. 420 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:02,439 Speaker 2: That is so incredible and constance. 421 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,520 Speaker 7: We can definitely see that online when you post the 422 00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:07,359 Speaker 7: videos and the pictures. I saw you had a post 423 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:09,919 Speaker 7: of you did your holiday pictures for this year, and 424 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:11,720 Speaker 7: I saw I think we had twenty five years of 425 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:14,960 Speaker 7: holiday pictures. Yeah, your daughter first, and then you had 426 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,480 Speaker 7: to sign and I was like, this is so beautiful 427 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:18,199 Speaker 7: and I want to know. 428 00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:20,639 Speaker 2: Okay, so you right now, you are goals. 429 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:21,960 Speaker 7: I'm sure for a lot of people, right, A lot 430 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,400 Speaker 7: of people are like hashtag relationship goals or family goals 431 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:25,200 Speaker 7: or business goals. 432 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,400 Speaker 2: Can you just let people know, like, how does it 433 00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:28,960 Speaker 2: feel to be on the other side. 434 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,560 Speaker 7: You've come so far, what does it feel like to 435 00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:33,879 Speaker 7: be on the other side of reaching your wildest dreams? 436 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:35,720 Speaker 2: Like what is the scoop? What's the inside scoop for. 437 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:37,320 Speaker 7: Us that are still trying to get to that point 438 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:39,639 Speaker 7: where we have our finances in order, we have the 439 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,200 Speaker 7: family and we're flourishing. 440 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:42,120 Speaker 2: What does that look and. 441 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:42,800 Speaker 8: Feel like for you? 442 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:43,200 Speaker 5: Oh? 443 00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,600 Speaker 8: My god, I don't know, because I think it's I 444 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:48,720 Speaker 8: think it's a it's an evolutionary process, right. I don't 445 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:50,400 Speaker 8: think you ever get to a place where you arrive. 446 00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:52,920 Speaker 3: One of my mentors, Lisa Nicholas, she says balance is 447 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,439 Speaker 3: a myth, but harmony is a musk, right, So you 448 00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:58,720 Speaker 3: can't try to balance give everything equal time, but just 449 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,679 Speaker 3: trying to create that harmony. So I just try to 450 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:04,320 Speaker 3: live like the best life that I can every day. 451 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:06,479 Speaker 3: That is the only thing I can tell you. And 452 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:09,840 Speaker 3: so that's just being conscious about making decisions that's going 453 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:11,040 Speaker 3: to just be positive. 454 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:13,080 Speaker 8: Like I love to laugh, you guys. 455 00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:15,560 Speaker 3: Like when I'm at the office, That's what me and 456 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:18,640 Speaker 3: Glinda do all day is we laugh. When I come home, 457 00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:21,800 Speaker 3: I like to laugh and just be open and free 458 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:26,480 Speaker 3: and not stressed out about any bs. You know, that's 459 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:30,720 Speaker 3: goals for me, is just just being happy and laughing 460 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:34,000 Speaker 3: and enjoying life. You know, of course, you know, you 461 00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:36,000 Speaker 3: never get to a place where you arrive. You never 462 00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:38,679 Speaker 3: get to a place where everything is perfect. But I 463 00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:42,080 Speaker 3: think in the journey, I think being more focused on 464 00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:46,159 Speaker 3: the journey, right and not the destination, and just lavishing 465 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:49,000 Speaker 3: in the journey and you know, the pitfalls yet and flow, 466 00:20:49,119 --> 00:20:52,080 Speaker 3: all the good and the bad, just languishing it with 467 00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:56,719 Speaker 3: it as you go and just taking it and rolling 468 00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:57,920 Speaker 3: with it because I do. 469 00:20:58,240 --> 00:20:59,240 Speaker 8: There are some you. 470 00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:00,399 Speaker 3: Know, I don't know if you if you see my 471 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:02,720 Speaker 3: video the other day, Like I lost almost one hundred 472 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,880 Speaker 3: thousand dollars in a building a couple of years ago, 473 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:07,720 Speaker 3: and I was like, you know, that's that's hard. 474 00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:09,920 Speaker 8: But I just had to roll with the punches, like, okay, God, 475 00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:11,600 Speaker 8: what are you doing? I know this is gonna be 476 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:12,959 Speaker 8: something greater later. What is it? 477 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:15,360 Speaker 3: And then he blessed us to be able to purchase 478 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:19,560 Speaker 3: another property that was ten times better. But just trying 479 00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:22,080 Speaker 3: to find the good in everything. I remember when like 480 00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:24,879 Speaker 3: earlier on and like I just had to think I 481 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:28,120 Speaker 3: had my daughter, I lost my job, my husband lost 482 00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:31,000 Speaker 3: his job, and we were behind on our mortgage, and 483 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:35,720 Speaker 3: like everything was going wrong. And my friend Kesha, she said, dang, 484 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:38,360 Speaker 3: how are you still able to maintain to be positive? 485 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:40,560 Speaker 3: And I think, I'm like, what twenty four at this time, 486 00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:42,399 Speaker 3: and she was like, how are you? Like I was 487 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,240 Speaker 3: still optimistic. I remember having this conversation. Obviously I was 488 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:47,959 Speaker 3: still optimistic, but I remember her telling her because I 489 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,920 Speaker 3: know this is not where I'm meant to be. 490 00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:52,640 Speaker 8: I know it's going to be better. So just having that. 491 00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:55,200 Speaker 3: Mentality because and that goes back to my auntie telling 492 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:57,720 Speaker 3: me I deserved you know what I mean? So when 493 00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:02,120 Speaker 3: to deserve more that God is not bringing you anywhere 494 00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:04,719 Speaker 3: to leave you. When you understand that greatness is in 495 00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:07,840 Speaker 3: your plan, that you deserve it, then you can just really, 496 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:11,200 Speaker 3: like I said, language in the journey and not worry 497 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:14,640 Speaker 3: about the destination. So wherever people are, they're where they're 498 00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:17,520 Speaker 3: supposed to be, you know, don't get weary and well 499 00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:21,080 Speaker 3: doing stay the course because I'm not goals. I'm not 500 00:22:21,119 --> 00:22:24,119 Speaker 3: goals for anybody. Your situation is your situation. But just 501 00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:28,080 Speaker 3: be happy in your situation, right, be able to laugh 502 00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:30,040 Speaker 3: through it and all that stuff. 503 00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:34,000 Speaker 4: I love that of like telling people, making sure that 504 00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:37,960 Speaker 4: people really hear that each one of us has our 505 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:41,040 Speaker 4: own unique story, our own unique journey, and that we 506 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:45,040 Speaker 4: shouldn't be striving to be what someone else is and 507 00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:47,399 Speaker 4: we should be focused on who we are. And so 508 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:53,000 Speaker 4: when I hear that, I think about some of our listeners. 509 00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:55,520 Speaker 4: You know, we have women of all ages listening, and 510 00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:57,320 Speaker 4: so we have some women who may be in their 511 00:22:57,359 --> 00:23:00,800 Speaker 4: fifties or sixties and in their where they are in 512 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:06,679 Speaker 4: their journey, they are still trying to figure out budgeting 513 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:11,159 Speaker 4: and managing finances. And then we have some young women 514 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:15,119 Speaker 4: who are like eighteen nineteen and are just starting to 515 00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:18,760 Speaker 4: really learn about budgeting and finances for themselves for their 516 00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:23,080 Speaker 4: journey ahead. And so what does it look like no 517 00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:26,640 Speaker 4: matter where you are in your journey, and you're saying, Okay, 518 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:30,720 Speaker 4: I need to start, I need to start fresh. I 519 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:34,960 Speaker 4: need to figure out how to budget, how to save, 520 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:38,600 Speaker 4: how to invest. Where would you tell that person to 521 00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:39,240 Speaker 4: start off? 522 00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:41,000 Speaker 5: So? 523 00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:44,159 Speaker 3: I think a lot of times that goes back to mindset, right. 524 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:46,200 Speaker 3: I think a lot of times people focus on what 525 00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:49,200 Speaker 3: they can't do or what they don't have. They focus, 526 00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:51,760 Speaker 3: they and they get stuck there instead of saying, okay, 527 00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:53,440 Speaker 3: let me just do it, and let me just figure 528 00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:55,439 Speaker 3: out the resources in order to get there, so you 529 00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:57,000 Speaker 3: can find you can. First of all, you can figure 530 00:23:57,040 --> 00:24:01,240 Speaker 3: out anything on the Internet, right a G test Google 531 00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:03,840 Speaker 3: that Shita. 532 00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:06,359 Speaker 8: You can get it. I love it. 533 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:09,600 Speaker 3: So understand that the answer to your problem is likely 534 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:13,280 Speaker 3: on Google. So but it's really just shifting your mindset 535 00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:17,000 Speaker 3: to say, Okay, I'm going to establish I'm going to 536 00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:17,760 Speaker 3: establish a goal. 537 00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:20,040 Speaker 8: This is what I want to do, and I say. 538 00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:21,840 Speaker 3: Do a brain dump, this is this, these are all 539 00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:24,440 Speaker 3: my ideas, and then start to put a like put 540 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:26,919 Speaker 3: it in a plan, and then begin to execute. But 541 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:30,000 Speaker 3: I think the whole thing is stop getting stuck at 542 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:34,399 Speaker 3: start just do it right and create a plan around 543 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:36,840 Speaker 3: doing it. I think the mindset is what holds us 544 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:40,000 Speaker 3: back because we get overwhelmed in what we don't know, 545 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:43,360 Speaker 3: and so just starting to do the research and figuring out, 546 00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:45,520 Speaker 3: you know, because we don't know, we don't know. But 547 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:49,840 Speaker 3: start you know, just basic stuff, reading basic books about budgeting, 548 00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:53,320 Speaker 3: reading you know, understanding what your finances are, how much 549 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:55,600 Speaker 3: you have a lotted for whatever it is that you 550 00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:58,879 Speaker 3: you need, your needs and then worry about you know 551 00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:01,919 Speaker 3: what your wants are, but you prioritize that, and you know, 552 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:03,760 Speaker 3: you got to cut out a lot of the frivolous spending. 553 00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:06,320 Speaker 3: I know, I was there two hundred and fifty thousand 554 00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:09,359 Speaker 3: dollars a year, frivolous spending. You know, I could have 555 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:11,720 Speaker 3: been so much further along today than I am than 556 00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:13,879 Speaker 3: I am because of my frivolous spending. But I had 557 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:16,920 Speaker 3: to file bankruptcy making two hundred and fifty thousand dollars 558 00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:19,920 Speaker 3: a year, which is crazy, But I was in the 559 00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:21,960 Speaker 3: same position as a lot of people. Whether you're making 560 00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:24,800 Speaker 3: twenty five fifty one hundred thousand dollars, if your mindset 561 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:26,720 Speaker 3: ain't right, then you're not going to be able to 562 00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:30,760 Speaker 3: get anywhere. So stepping back, saying, okay, making a conscious 563 00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:34,000 Speaker 3: decision of this is what I want to do, writing 564 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,760 Speaker 3: it down, putting it in paper, organizing it in a 565 00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,760 Speaker 3: concise way, and then you know, do whatever research you 566 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:42,280 Speaker 3: need to do in order to make a plan of 567 00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:44,439 Speaker 3: action so that you could execute counsels. 568 00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:46,560 Speaker 7: We're about to shift up the energy a little bit 569 00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:51,000 Speaker 7: on our on our interview today. So because we recognize, appreciate, 570 00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:53,840 Speaker 7: and celebrate the multifaceted woman and believe that it's okay 571 00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:56,760 Speaker 7: to be classy and ratchet and you can be elegant 572 00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:58,600 Speaker 7: and still dance to strip club music. 573 00:25:59,000 --> 00:25:59,440 Speaker 8: I want to. 574 00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:03,400 Speaker 2: Invite you to the oh when You clash It segment. 575 00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:06,320 Speaker 2: So do you take on the challenge? 576 00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:09,480 Speaker 8: Absolutely, I'm a little nervous, So. 577 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:13,400 Speaker 2: All right, we're gonna go with some of the fun questions. 578 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:15,720 Speaker 7: So the first question for you is what song gets 579 00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:18,280 Speaker 7: you on the dance floor at the club or party? 580 00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:19,600 Speaker 2: What song? 581 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:23,960 Speaker 3: Yes, oh, let's seek big old freak Megan. 582 00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:34,160 Speaker 2: Oh all right. 583 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:39,480 Speaker 4: And so speaking of getting on the dance floor or 584 00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:40,560 Speaker 4: two steps. 585 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:43,280 Speaker 8: Oh oh, it depends on the song. I can do 586 00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:46,120 Speaker 8: them both. I can do both, and I will do both, 587 00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:47,040 Speaker 8: and I do do both. 588 00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:56,000 Speaker 3: So oh so preference, I'll say two steps? 589 00:26:57,600 --> 00:26:59,240 Speaker 8: Okay, all right, all. 590 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:01,920 Speaker 7: Right, now, constant, who is your bad boy or bad 591 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:03,600 Speaker 7: girl crush? 592 00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:04,080 Speaker 4: Oh? 593 00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:10,520 Speaker 8: Bad boy? Oh shoot, god boy crush. 594 00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:12,360 Speaker 2: I didn't want to make me go look at Instagram? 595 00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:14,840 Speaker 2: Who's who I'm following? 596 00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:21,399 Speaker 8: Who is about bad boy crush? Oh my god? Okay, okay, 597 00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:22,679 Speaker 8: come back to me on that one. 598 00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:24,520 Speaker 2: Right, we'll come back. You're gonna do a. 599 00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:34,000 Speaker 4: Little Instagram sir, shifting gears just a little bit. What's 600 00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:35,240 Speaker 4: your favorite book. 601 00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:38,840 Speaker 3: I want to say a book that I probably read 602 00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:42,159 Speaker 3: like five six times was A Millionaire of Mind by 603 00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:42,920 Speaker 3: t Harbecker. 604 00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:48,639 Speaker 4: Okay to the show. Note Yes, and what was it 605 00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:50,600 Speaker 4: about that book? Then, because you said you read it 606 00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:53,920 Speaker 4: five or six times? So what was it about that book? Yeah? 607 00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:55,879 Speaker 3: You know, and I always tell my ages to read it, 608 00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:57,719 Speaker 3: and some are like, yeah, blah blah blah, ain't all 609 00:27:57,720 --> 00:27:58,040 Speaker 3: that great. 610 00:27:58,080 --> 00:27:59,920 Speaker 8: But I just think it's just a great because it was. 611 00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:03,520 Speaker 3: He talks about the mindset of a millionaire, how a 612 00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:06,119 Speaker 3: millionaire thinks. You know, a poor person thinks like this 613 00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:09,080 Speaker 3: and here's why they're poor, and a millionaire thinks like this, 614 00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:11,040 Speaker 3: and here's why they're a millionaire. 615 00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:12,280 Speaker 8: This is why they're wealthy. 616 00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:15,359 Speaker 3: And so it really it's really like spring up a 617 00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:17,399 Speaker 3: bunch of different light bulbs, and it allowed me to 618 00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:21,160 Speaker 3: like look around at my environment and say, yeah, that's 619 00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:24,360 Speaker 3: why they ain't got shit, or yeah, this is what 620 00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:26,439 Speaker 3: I need to do in order to get there. You know, 621 00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:28,800 Speaker 3: it's easier for you know, like if you have two 622 00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:31,840 Speaker 3: people that are broke and one was wealthy before, it's 623 00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:34,000 Speaker 3: easier for the wealthy person to get wealthy again because 624 00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:34,640 Speaker 3: it's the mindset. 625 00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:36,520 Speaker 8: They know how to do it. But a poor person 626 00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:37,879 Speaker 8: is always going to stay poor. 627 00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:40,160 Speaker 3: Not necessarily, but they you know, they'll be quicker to 628 00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,480 Speaker 3: stay poor because just because they have that poor mindset. 629 00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:45,720 Speaker 3: So just understanding the difference between a poor mindset and 630 00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:47,720 Speaker 3: a wealthy mindset is everything that's. 631 00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:49,720 Speaker 7: So powerful too, because constant, I feel like I always 632 00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:51,920 Speaker 7: thought that it's all about Okay, I got a budget 633 00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:53,880 Speaker 7: and saying an investment. It sounds like the first step 634 00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:56,360 Speaker 7: before you do anything is shifting your mindset. 635 00:28:57,280 --> 00:28:58,959 Speaker 2: If you feel stuck right now, it sounds like you've 636 00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:00,280 Speaker 2: got to read these three books. 637 00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:03,440 Speaker 7: Right, Constance Books and then this Millionaire Mindset book right 638 00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:05,920 Speaker 7: to really game plan for how you're going to use. 639 00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:08,800 Speaker 5: Your finances or allocate them in twenty twenty. 640 00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:15,600 Speaker 3: Absolutely absolutely okay, And one more question, all right, what's 641 00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:22,040 Speaker 3: the best compliment you've ever received that I have changed 642 00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:26,360 Speaker 3: someone's life? That is the best thing that you can 643 00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:29,120 Speaker 3: tell me. Okay, I'll tell you another one too, So 644 00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:31,640 Speaker 3: that one, and I'm gonna give you another one that 645 00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:34,560 Speaker 3: you have prayed for me, Like that's the best thing 646 00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:36,680 Speaker 3: that you can ever say. You know what I prayed 647 00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:38,680 Speaker 3: for you. That means you thought about me and you 648 00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:40,080 Speaker 3: went to God on my behalf. 649 00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:40,800 Speaker 8: That's huge. 650 00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:43,520 Speaker 2: That is yeah, amazing. 651 00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:45,600 Speaker 7: Well, Constance, we just want to thank you so much 652 00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:48,400 Speaker 7: for spending some time with us and sharing your insights. 653 00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:51,480 Speaker 8: Yay, it's been amazing. This was so fun. 654 00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:54,040 Speaker 3: I am honored that you would even consider me so 655 00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:55,520 Speaker 3: thank you, thank you, thank you so much. 656 00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:58,880 Speaker 4: And before we go, can you tell all of our 657 00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:00,640 Speaker 4: listeners where they can find you? 658 00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:03,600 Speaker 8: Absolutely so. A couple of things. 659 00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,440 Speaker 3: I am having a weekend of wealth Retreat, which I'm 660 00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:09,520 Speaker 3: so excited about. I'll be celebrating my forty fourth birthday 661 00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:13,280 Speaker 3: and that's February twentieth through twenty third in Napa. So 662 00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:14,720 Speaker 3: we're going to do one in Napa and then we're 663 00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:17,320 Speaker 3: doing one in Costa Rica. And that one is going 664 00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:19,880 Speaker 3: to shift you from what do I do? I may 665 00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:21,800 Speaker 3: want to start a business, I want to start investing, 666 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,440 Speaker 3: and we're gonna I'm gonna help you walk away with 667 00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:28,600 Speaker 3: an actual plan when you leave. And I'm super happy 668 00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:31,000 Speaker 3: to partner with Susie Carter. You may or may not 669 00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:33,479 Speaker 3: know her. She was actually Lisa Nichols coach. She's going 670 00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:35,800 Speaker 3: to be partnering with me on our on our next 671 00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:38,440 Speaker 3: couple of retreats, so she's going to be also teaching, 672 00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:41,200 Speaker 3: you know, profitability and all those great things. So it's 673 00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:43,600 Speaker 3: gonna be awesome. So you can go to weekend too 674 00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:46,560 Speaker 3: wealth dot com and if you'd like to join us 675 00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:49,160 Speaker 3: in NAPA or in Costa Rica, we would love to 676 00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:52,320 Speaker 3: have you. Napa is all women, Costa Rica is going 677 00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:54,120 Speaker 3: to be women, and Man is going to be co ed. 678 00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:57,160 Speaker 8: The mansions are absolutely beautiful. They're spectacular. 679 00:30:57,360 --> 00:31:00,160 Speaker 3: You're gonna get some rest, some respite, you're gonna get 680 00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:03,880 Speaker 3: to rejuvenate yourself, transform your mindset. It's gonna be amazing. 681 00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:07,840 Speaker 3: So weekend to Wealth dot com. But they can reach me. 682 00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:11,320 Speaker 3: They can go to my Facebook at nobody work harder 683 00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:17,240 Speaker 3: than Constance Carter or my Instagram is ask Constance. See 684 00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:21,600 Speaker 3: in my website it is Constancecarter dot com. 685 00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:25,360 Speaker 5: Hey girl, Hey, it's Terry here from the Heirspace podcast. 686 00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:29,320 Speaker 5: Every Wednesday, I release a Wisdom Wednesday mini episode that 687 00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:32,240 Speaker 5: will give you the quick boost you need to get 688 00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:36,200 Speaker 5: you through hump day. Visit herspacepodcast dot com and click 689 00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:40,000 Speaker 5: the Wisdom Wednesday with terrylink under Start here to get 690 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:41,160 Speaker 5: your weekly gens. 691 00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:42,320 Speaker 2: I hope to see you there. 692 00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:47,680 Speaker 4: Thanks for joining us today in her Space. Please note 693 00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:52,200 Speaker 4: that our show may contain conversations about self health, advice, 694 00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:55,960 Speaker 4: self empowerment, and mental health, but it is by no 695 00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:59,400 Speaker 4: means meant to be a substitute for an ongoing formal 696 00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:04,160 Speaker 4: relationship with a trained mental health provider. If you are 697 00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:07,120 Speaker 4: someone you know is in need of mental health care, 698 00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:11,800 Speaker 4: please visit the Therapy for Black Girls directory Psychology today 699 00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:14,240 Speaker 4: or contact your insurance provider. 700 00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:16,480 Speaker 7: If you liked what you heard and want to keep 701 00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:19,880 Speaker 7: the conversation going, connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, and 702 00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:25,000 Speaker 7: Twitter at Herspace podcast or check out our website at 703 00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:29,640 Speaker 7: herspacepodcast dot com. And before we meet again, repeat after me, 704 00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:34,440 Speaker 7: There's something inside of me that's bigger than any obstacle. 705 00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:36,840 Speaker 2: We'll see you next week, Lady,