Speaker 1: Are you leaving?
Speaker 2: I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 3: Either way, we want to be there. Doesn't matter how
Speaker 3: much baggage you claim and give us time and a
Speaker 3: turn and al and gage. We want to send you
Speaker 3: off inside. We wanna welcome you back home. Tell us
Speaker 3: all about it.
Speaker 4: We scared? Or was it fine? Now porn?
Speaker 5: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Do you need ride?
Speaker 2: Ride with Karen and Chris.
Speaker 6: Today's episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Start building
Speaker 6: your website today at squarespace dot com. Enter the offer
Speaker 6: code do you need to Ride? At checkout and get
Speaker 6: ten percent off Squarespace. Build a beautiful.
Speaker 2: Welcome to Do you need to Ride? This is Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 4: This is Karen Kilgareff.
Speaker 2: We're coming at you live on a Super Bowl Sunday.
Speaker 4: As we get onto the one seventy.
Speaker 7: Three right north, apparently we found the only Super Bowl traffic.
Speaker 7: I guess this is just a line of cars of
Speaker 7: people that ran out of tostitos liquefied kso.
Speaker 4: Oh it was because there was a freeway car accident.
Speaker 4: You don't see those that often did you see that car?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 4: Oh, yeah, that guy was just stopped in the middle
Speaker 4: of the freeway walking around someone just to his car.
Speaker 2: He seems disoriented.
Speaker 7: We should probably go at least wander around with him
Speaker 7: so he doesn't feel like such an outcast.
Speaker 4: It's a good idea, so he's not embarrassed.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, just wander around. Were also in shock the
Speaker 2: middle of a freeway?
Speaker 4: Yeah, just kind of walk in Well, he actually was
Speaker 4: getting something out of his trunk, but didn't seem appropriate.
Speaker 7: It's probably just a gun. It's like, I've had enough
Speaker 7: of this now. He's as good a time as any.
Speaker 4: Walter super Bowl Sunday, Baby, he.
Speaker 7: Named his gun Walter. I have not watched. I've watched
Speaker 7: the beginning of the game.
Speaker 2: I'm on a commercial and I wanted to air during
Speaker 2: the Super Bowl. I'm not sure why.
Speaker 4: What commercial?
Speaker 2: It's a subway commercial.
Speaker 4: Oh what are you doing?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 7: I'm reacting to a crazy newsperson who thinks that something
Speaker 7: called Submageddon is occurring. It's really just a crowd of
Speaker 7: people at a subway excited about the six.
Speaker 2: Dollars foot longs. But this newsperson.
Speaker 7: Who is not playing the straight man because she is
Speaker 7: just in winter clothes and she said, there's you know,
Speaker 7: it's putting stress on the sidewalk, things like that. And
Speaker 7: I walk out and I look at her like, well,
Speaker 7: there's a crazy news lady. And I get in the car.
Speaker 7: I don't say anything.
Speaker 4: Oh, but you do a lot of face acting, yes,
Speaker 4: and maybe a little back ding.
Speaker 2: I have turned around again into.
Speaker 7: The car and a little backne because I'm shirtless in
Speaker 7: the scene.
Speaker 4: That's the secret you brought on stage is that you
Speaker 4: have backne.
Speaker 7: You always have to bring something to your character. And
Speaker 7: I brought mine some backne.
Speaker 4: Just big, just just sores, maybe open weeping sores on
Speaker 4: your back.
Speaker 7: The first thing I said to the director is I
Speaker 7: feel this character should be shirtless.
Speaker 2: He said, let's do it.
Speaker 4: He said, I want to play with it. I want
Speaker 4: let's play with the scene.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he said, play with it. Riff if you will.
Speaker 4: That's awesome. But just with your eyes.
Speaker 2: It was funny. It's funny though you do something like that.
Speaker 7: And I've never gotten so many people texting me and saying, oh,
Speaker 7: I just did I just see you in a It's exciting.
Speaker 4: I see my friends off very often in commercials and
Speaker 4: I shouted out.
Speaker 2: When I see it, should I go right or left?
Speaker 4: I think left.
Speaker 7: There's a graffiti on the sign, which I think that
Speaker 7: it's important as a graffiti artist to establish ownership of
Speaker 7: a sign. I understand that you want to have as
Speaker 7: many signs on your turf as possible, but.
Speaker 4: Is that true.
Speaker 7: I don't know what those lunatics are thinking. I just
Speaker 7: need to know north or south? And you put Z
Speaker 7: Boy This.
Speaker 4: Sherman Way is Z boys area, though I hope we'll
Speaker 4: run into him.
Speaker 2: Got me too, spray you right in the face.
Speaker 4: What if he is actually shaped like a Z like?
Speaker 4: He has terrible posture and he's always kneeling.
Speaker 7: That's why they call me z boy because of my scoliosis.
Speaker 4: Don't say anything about my breeze. He starts crying.
Speaker 2: I am sorry. I'm going to turn off my thing.
Speaker 4: Oh good idea. Yeah, let's let's all agree, you and
Speaker 4: I and the audience. Let's not take phone calls during
Speaker 4: this episode?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Can we please?
Speaker 7: And I'm sorry to be like a stickler about rules,
Speaker 7: but that goes for you at home.
Speaker 4: Yeah, everybody, please, please, no phone calls. We're begging, do
Speaker 4: not pause this, even if it has to happen in
Speaker 4: real time, even if.
Speaker 7: It seems urgent and was prefaced by a text that says,
Speaker 7: please pick up when I call. Oh my god, there's
Speaker 7: so much blood. Yes, do not answer the phone.
Speaker 4: Just let us have our time with you.
Speaker 2: It's an important episode.
Speaker 4: This is the episode where we figure it out.
Speaker 7: Yeah, and oh you have to be all selfish and
Speaker 7: talk to your mema.
Speaker 4: Oh, what was that song?
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know. Then O song. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: I hate it when I bail on you like this.
Speaker 4: Comedically, you're supposed to say you do know the song
Speaker 4: no matter what. Yeah, that's the rule.
Speaker 2: I O you.
Speaker 4: I know it's against the rules of vimprov. I actually
Speaker 4: don't really know what song I'm singing either.
Speaker 7: Well, I'm going to have you re sing it and
Speaker 7: hold my shoes I.
Speaker 2: Am up to your face.
Speaker 4: Oh good idea, And.
Speaker 7: Then I'm gonna do something with that phone. App I'm
Speaker 7: gonna be such a great dad. Just jokes like that.
Speaker 7: It's gonna be so much fun. It's gonna be so
Speaker 7: much fun.
Speaker 5: Guys.
Speaker 4: I do really want to describe the skyline right now,
Speaker 4: because it's kind of like the sun has gone down,
Speaker 4: but the sky is still yellow turning blue.
Speaker 2: I think that's a moth am.
Speaker 4: I wrong, Uh No, mov is more purple.
Speaker 7: Yeah, purplish gray. I was testing you. Oh okay, I
Speaker 7: went to art school. Yes, thank you for one.
Speaker 2: You won?
Speaker 4: I won everything?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you want everything.
Speaker 4: I want art school even though I never went to
Speaker 4: I flunked out of Colin.
Speaker 2: You won a degree from art school.
Speaker 4: Now do you get a degree from our school?
Speaker 7: I have a bachelor's degree in fine arts with an
Speaker 7: analysis in drawing.
Speaker 4: Is that true?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 4: Yes, so that's crazy.
Speaker 2: I could know that.
Speaker 7: Yes, I could put a bee after my name that
Speaker 7: stands for bachelor.
Speaker 2: I think technically I.
Speaker 4: Can until you get married. Yeah, and then you have
Speaker 4: to rip up all of your educational certificates.
Speaker 7: Yep, so sad, or keep them in the den, the
Speaker 7: only place where I can be myself.
Speaker 4: The den cave. Do you think that man caves are
Speaker 4: out at this point?
Speaker 2: The phrase I hope.
Speaker 4: I mean like just the concept of it. Do you
Speaker 4: think that's out? Do you think feminism is beaten down
Speaker 4: man caves?
Speaker 7: I hate to bring this news, but I don't think so.
Speaker 7: I think man caves are here to stay at Karen.
Speaker 4: I mean, I understand that man man want to get away.
Speaker 7: It's weird, and I you know, I don't care about football,
Speaker 7: but there is something missing because I know I'm missing
Speaker 7: the game in it.
Speaker 2: I have thought about it a few times.
Speaker 4: She knew what was going on.
Speaker 7: I wish I had friends, and I wish that we
Speaker 7: were all setting and watching, you know, peripherally watching this
Speaker 7: football game.
Speaker 4: Should we set some goals for next year? At this
Speaker 4: time next year.
Speaker 7: Go this time next year exactly. I'm going to watch
Speaker 7: the super Bowl.
Speaker 4: You're gonna watch a super Bowl.
Speaker 2: And before that, find friends.
Speaker 4: Yet you have a full year to find friends, and
Speaker 4: and I would really suggest that you don't just look
Speaker 4: for football friends because that might take you down a
Speaker 4: path you don't want.
Speaker 2: To per se.
Speaker 7: And then no one's going to bring elegant dishes, which
Speaker 7: is important.
Speaker 4: No, they'll just be rooted out and snapping everything in half.
Speaker 4: Mm hmm. Don't get I'm just saying, keep your eyes open.
Speaker 2: Don't get a bunch of slim gym buddies.
Speaker 4: No, the amount of salt that'll be at that party
Speaker 4: if you only have slim gym friends is dangerous. I
Speaker 4: don't want to think about it.
Speaker 7: No, we're all going to leave with kidney stones. Yeah,
Speaker 7: I think I think that's what kidney stone is. It's
Speaker 7: assault depa. I'm not mistaken.
Speaker 4: I heard there. Just they're tiny pieces of beef jerky.
Speaker 4: Oh that with fingernails growing around. Yeah, you didn't know that.
Speaker 7: No, No, that's that's like an aquating hunger for us aquating.
Speaker 2: Yes, that's what it used to be.
Speaker 7: Originally it was supposed to be in Jamaica quatinas mon.
Speaker 4: And what would the theme songs sound like?
Speaker 2: It would sound like a piece of piece donkeys, jerk chicken.
Speaker 2: Who you calling a jerk?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: Oh God, I can't wait to embarrass kids.
Speaker 4: You were going to I'm so embarrassed right now. And
Speaker 4: I'm incredibly old.
Speaker 7: One time, my dad, it was like a parent teacher
Speaker 7: conference or something. He pulled his pants up, and I
Speaker 7: do believe I recall him falling downstairs on purpose, just
Speaker 7: to make the other kids parents laugh.
Speaker 4: Oh that's genius.
Speaker 7: Yeah, even acted hurt. People ran over, Are you okay,
Speaker 7: mister Fairbanks? Then they got it right in the face
Speaker 7: with a squirting flower.
Speaker 4: And no one ever cut on that that cute, big
Speaker 4: huge daisy that he was wearing pinned to a t
Speaker 4: shirt was a squirting flower no one knows.
Speaker 7: Everyone he met he said, oh this, don't mind this.
Speaker 7: I'm just into gardening, or am I squirts right in
Speaker 7: the eye, right in the open eye.
Speaker 4: Good times.
Speaker 7: They were the best of times.
Speaker 4: So the next big light, you're gonna go right, Okay, cool,
Speaker 4: We're heading over to Jackie Kasion's house. She's done us
Speaker 4: the huge favor of being on this podcast with us.
Speaker 4: We love her and she's one of our favorite guests.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: But also it is Super Bowl Sunday. Yeah, so it's
Speaker 4: kind of like we're cutting into a national holiday.
Speaker 7: I think if, sorry, if the Green Bay Packers were
Speaker 7: in the Super Bowl, she would not be available. But
Speaker 7: like a lot of people, you know, no one cares
Speaker 7: about these teams. Today is the Denver Bronco. The fighting
Speaker 7: Broncos are going pitted against the North Carolina.
Speaker 2: Lurking Ravens Panthers Panthers. That was a see there we go.
Speaker 2: Now everyone knows for sure that I don't follow.
Speaker 4: Football, well, but you will next year.
Speaker 2: Who are the Ravens Baltimore?
Speaker 5: Ah?
Speaker 4: Yes, and I don't also follow football, but I just
Speaker 4: had to work on that pilot where it was all sports.
Speaker 7: The quarterback is Joe Flacco for the Ravens, just so
Speaker 7: I can all of a sudden game back some points.
Speaker 4: Okay, that's gonna that's gonna get you pretty far.
Speaker 2: I only know that because I was in a Testino's commercial.
Speaker 4: Oh that's right.
Speaker 7: I drop a bag of chips, and right when I
Speaker 7: bend over to get him, he sees it as an
Speaker 7: opportunity to confuse it for a hike, and he gets
Speaker 7: behind me.
Speaker 2: He goes Blue forty two, and I just say, time out.
Speaker 2: It's funny. Yes, yes, because I'm homophobe. My character was homophobia.
Speaker 4: Sure we or just maybe you know there is that
Speaker 4: thing where you just maybe don't want people's hands near
Speaker 4: you're junk.
Speaker 7: You know that is what the thing was. Because I'm
Speaker 7: not saying I wasn't attracted to the man.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I remember you talking about what a true specimen
Speaker 4: he was.
Speaker 2: Was a physical specimen and very disarming.
Speaker 7: He was shy, and uh, I'm.
Speaker 2: I guess I'll add handsome.
Speaker 4: Why not?
Speaker 2: Why wouldn't I probably should have been the first thing
Speaker 2: I mentioned.
Speaker 4: That's kind of a given though, because I think we
Speaker 4: talked about this on that episode. But those people who
Speaker 4: dedicate their lives to sports are gorgeous simply by the
Speaker 4: fact that they don't have an ounce of fat on
Speaker 4: their body. Right, They're just They're just what Cardio looks
Speaker 4: like as a person.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna I'm gonna look like that one day.
Speaker 7: I'm gonna get a new hip and I'm going new
Speaker 7: Oh should I turned left?
Speaker 4: Not here?
Speaker 5: Oh yeah?
Speaker 4: Oh sorry, I didn't realize we were there. Okay, Sorry,
Speaker 4: We're trying to be tricky about how to specifically get
Speaker 4: to Jackie's house, and in doing so, I'm almost making
Speaker 4: Chris crash the car.
Speaker 2: Quite all right, we do it again.
Speaker 4: Chris's driver and sound.
Speaker 7: Ma'am today, Grandpa, I just said that to a twenty
Speaker 7: year old.
Speaker 2: Okay, we go.
Speaker 4: It's always the four Aerostars.
Speaker 2: It is. Now there's an American.
Speaker 4: Car that's exactly what you've been looking for.
Speaker 2: To start nuts today. Wrinkles.
Speaker 7: Good lord, Okay, and this is familiar. I feel like
Speaker 7: we're in a We're in Kati territory.
Speaker 4: Yeah, this is it's a real suburban part of I
Speaker 4: think this is Vanu's technically, I can say the city right, yes, okay.
Speaker 2: Yes, you're going to have a great time.
Speaker 7: I don't want to spoil anything, but she I think
Speaker 7: wants to talk about girls counts. Oh, so I'll save
Speaker 7: everything I have to say about that for that moment.
Speaker 7: If she doesn't mention it, I'm gonna bring it up,
Speaker 7: don't you worry.
Speaker 4: Good plan. I just actually had coffee with Jackie the
Speaker 4: other day.
Speaker 2: Oh really, what did you talk about?
Speaker 4: Well, I can't I'm not at liberty to say, oh,
Speaker 4: it's down on more but Aaron Foley and I who's
Speaker 4: another great comic who also? God damn it. Oh no,
Speaker 4: I'm right, I'm right. Sorry, it's here. I went to
Speaker 4: coffee with Aaron Foley, and as I'm texting her to
Speaker 4: tell her I'm late, which I always am, She's saying
Speaker 4: it's fine because Jackie Cass already here. So then we
Speaker 4: all like coffee. Oh wow, it was wonderful.
Speaker 2: That sounds fun if you just pull up and just
Speaker 2: start honking. Yeah, let's just look.
Speaker 4: At she's just waiting. She's just sitting on her front porch.
Speaker 2: Way, Oh my goodness, she is. This is almost embarrassing.
Speaker 4: Well, it'll be fun. Did she expect us to be
Speaker 4: here sooner?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 7: Everyone always is. We're always late, all right, We are
Speaker 7: always late. It's hard.
Speaker 2: I had to get gas. I had to get batteries.
Speaker 2: We're sorry, we're late.
Speaker 4: We're finally here.
Speaker 2: She's upset. She's upset. No, shent, No she's not.
Speaker 4: Did you get to see Beyonce?
Speaker 5: Why not?
Speaker 4: Oh? Oh okay, good, it wasn't it. No one took
Speaker 4: it away from you.
Speaker 5: Good.
Speaker 4: That's what I'm checking on. We didn't ruin your evening.
Speaker 2: Oh hey guys, hey, sorry, but just things came up.
Speaker 2: We had to get batteries. We had to get gas.
Speaker 2: We had to get gas and batteries to get.
Speaker 4: Our ship together.
Speaker 5: There's books and that's perfect.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: If you get bored, don't don't be afraid.
Speaker 1: To just.
Speaker 2: A little mic next to you? Or did I blow that?
Speaker 5: You blew it? Brother? You gotta get a light sort
Speaker 5: of lighting situation.
Speaker 2: Oh you just tapped it.
Speaker 7: Oh it's it is right right under your.
Speaker 5: This side up right here.
Speaker 2: Okay, possibly too loud. Yeah, I'm gonna turn that down.
Speaker 2: There we go talking.
Speaker 4: There she is Jackie Case.
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you for getting inside the Honda.
Speaker 5: Hi, this is a beautiful Honda. Unfaithful music. He is
Speaker 5: a little unfaithful.
Speaker 2: I have a book back there.
Speaker 5: Yeah, he doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't stick to the script. No,
Speaker 5: he's like, dude, you were a sky guy, weren't you?
Speaker 5: Or what was his buzz?
Speaker 2: I think what was his buzz?
Speaker 4: Daddy Jackie's into jazz.
Speaker 2: I think he was one of those SKA cats. Wasn't
Speaker 2: he was?
Speaker 5: He?
Speaker 8: Was?
Speaker 5: He? I listened to that, Miam? Is true? Business? Is
Speaker 5: that that? Yes?
Speaker 4: Yes, you're right, huge fan.
Speaker 5: Weirdly enough, I'm going to.
Speaker 4: See him, are you really?
Speaker 2: I would love to see him. I'm a big, big fan.
Speaker 5: You have to go to Orange County. That's where he's
Speaker 5: being kept.
Speaker 2: You guys have coffee in a case?
Speaker 4: Yeah you need coffee?
Speaker 5: Yeah? Yeah, let's go get some coffee.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, let us.
Speaker 4: We should have brought you some. I'm sorry.
Speaker 5: I need to actually because it's Super Bowl Sunday, guys.
Speaker 4: That's right? And so what uh so, what the hell?
Speaker 5: What's the journey going to be?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 5: What's gonna happen?
Speaker 2: There's less traffic.
Speaker 7: I found that so far people are driving at at
Speaker 7: a super Bowl rate, which is nonchalant.
Speaker 8: If you guys see something, say something, yeah I am
Speaker 8: There's an LED readout somewhere on a highway. That tells
Speaker 8: you that if someone's driving drunk, if.
Speaker 5: You can nark on him quick.
Speaker 7: No matter what you see, tell somebody, even if it's boring.
Speaker 4: A T mobile store, have you guys?
Speaker 8: See sometimes there's a there's one of those those floppy
Speaker 8: things here on this corner.
Speaker 5: See the tiny.
Speaker 2: Oh, let's do it.
Speaker 7: Oh there's a human she's on her way to an
Speaker 7: after party for this.
Speaker 5: Bring it, lady. We're across the street from my papa.
Speaker 8: Que Rico used to be a check cashing place, and
Speaker 8: now it is a grilled chicken place.
Speaker 5: Oh, it's really good. It's good, and you can still
Speaker 5: cash a check. Probably.
Speaker 4: I like there's pictures on the sign.
Speaker 5: Always a good, always a good sign.
Speaker 4: They look like was that an army man on the
Speaker 4: sign for a chicken restaurant?
Speaker 5: I don't think it was an army man. Okay, I
Speaker 5: think it's army guys.
Speaker 4: Oh, oh, I see.
Speaker 5: We're gonna hang it right up. Here're gonna do it.
Speaker 4: The Starbucks. Nice, two Starbucks in an hour.
Speaker 5: Two Starbucks. Oh, that's right, you guys just went.
Speaker 4: We should have we should have texted ahead for your
Speaker 4: for your order, my order.
Speaker 5: I thought we were gonna I thought we were gonna
Speaker 5: go to I thought you guys were giving me a
Speaker 5: ride to Starbucks.
Speaker 4: That's what's happening.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's totally what's But.
Speaker 7: You did mention coffee beans. Did you want to buy
Speaker 7: beans in bulk? Can you do that at Starbucks?
Speaker 5: You can't. You could buy you could buy beans.
Speaker 7: What if you like when you're more of a person
Speaker 7: who prefers ground, Oh, I have them.
Speaker 5: Grind them. I have a grinder.
Speaker 8: But it was a short lived day when I wanted
Speaker 8: to grind my own beans and sort of live that life.
Speaker 4: That ended quickly.
Speaker 5: That ended very quickly.
Speaker 4: It's kind of a pain.
Speaker 2: You don't expect the whole lifestyle that goes along with it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, there's a huge commitment, tiny pandfuls of beans and
Speaker 5: then grinding and then a mess and coffee dust.
Speaker 7: Yeah, you have to wear a lot of itchy, itchy smocks.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and gold canners too.
Speaker 4: That's right. Drug addicts, right, they all call it that,
Speaker 4: they all do. I use a coffee grinder on beans,
Speaker 4: and it's very loud.
Speaker 5: It's super loud.
Speaker 4: It's the other thing so obnoxious.
Speaker 8: Do you know that Andy killer has one of the
Speaker 8: those bulbs those water bulb things. Did you see it
Speaker 8: like intelligentsia? Oh, but he's got a fancy coffee situation.
Speaker 4: Going on, like a pour over deals.
Speaker 8: But more than that, it was a wordy it's an
Speaker 8: upcoming episode of the Dark Forest.
Speaker 4: Feel free to listen.
Speaker 5: It'll talk to.
Speaker 8: Me about when I could only say it sounds like
Speaker 8: a beaker of some sort.
Speaker 4: Okay, is it a clover machine? I'm just gonna keep
Speaker 4: guessing now.
Speaker 5: I think it's a four leaf clover machine, and it's
Speaker 5: super lucky if you can get it and you have
Speaker 5: the best coffee in the world.
Speaker 4: Did he just tell you about it or did you
Speaker 4: see it?
Speaker 5: No, he just told me about it.
Speaker 8: It was me him and Bobby Tisdale, and Bobby Tisdale
Speaker 8: wanted to talk about breakfast, so Andy Kidler went off
Speaker 8: on a coffee jag that lasted minutes.
Speaker 5: Pretty great.
Speaker 2: I like when he goes off on Jack's.
Speaker 7: I once heard him go off on a jag about
Speaker 7: the TV show Jazz and that never ended.
Speaker 2: Seemed like it was never gonna end.
Speaker 5: Much like the TV show Jag.
Speaker 8: Did you Little Note? Little Note a spin off? N
Speaker 8: Cis that's right?
Speaker 7: Because military mysteries, I would have thought that n CIS
Speaker 7: was its own from.
Speaker 5: The mind of zeus.
Speaker 4: You know why you think that? Because Mark Harmon, Baby,
Speaker 4: he makes you He's the b all end Off.
Speaker 7: I believe I read somewhere that he is the highest
Speaker 7: paid actor in television.
Speaker 4: That would make sense because n C I S has
Speaker 4: been on for at least ten years?
Speaker 5: Thirteen years?
Speaker 4: Is that true?
Speaker 5: A long time? Long time it's been on.
Speaker 4: I wanted to find out that you were a crazy
Speaker 4: huge fan of n c I am.
Speaker 5: Actually a fan of n C I S.
Speaker 4: I am too. I watched a ton of them one year.
Speaker 4: I laid on the couch for an one straight year,
Speaker 4: back to back to back to back, four in a row,
Speaker 4: and then once time afternoon started.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: The guy, the funny guy, yeah whatever, his name is
Speaker 4: real haircut, haircut, and the girl that's from the yep,
Speaker 4: the two of them. I we a breakfast when they
Speaker 4: were at Hugo's one day. They were wearing very fancy clothes,
Speaker 4: and then a couple of days later I saw them
Speaker 4: in those clothes on the cover of TV Guide magazine.
Speaker 5: They were going for OHGUTSI stuff to eat before a shoot.
Speaker 5: I know or do you think it was after.
Speaker 4: It could have been after, but I think they were.
Speaker 4: I think it was after because they had very light,
Speaker 4: light hearted energy about them. They weren't. They seemed to
Speaker 4: be relaxed.
Speaker 5: I can tell you about this strip.
Speaker 8: Mall okay, guys before we we should sit here and.
Speaker 4: Talk to yet I love it.
Speaker 5: This is this is this Coyoshu Ramen place next to
Speaker 5: this Hanabushi Japanese place is all one place. Toto's African Cuisine.
Speaker 5: By the way, Oh my god, you guys.
Speaker 4: Got the Toto's African Cuisine.
Speaker 2: I love that it's called Toto's.
Speaker 7: I mean, that's an inside joke, isn't it inside?
Speaker 5: What though? Issi Africa.
Speaker 2: Has a song called Africa.
Speaker 8: Oh, that's hilarious that it is. All I know is
Speaker 8: that the one time I went to the cuisine, I've
Speaker 8: never seen it open since.
Speaker 5: But they had a dish that was Get this. It
Speaker 5: was a bowl full of chicken legs.
Speaker 8: Just a bowl of legs, chicken legs sticking out of
Speaker 8: a broth.
Speaker 5: Leg up, leg up. You guys know, yeah, did you
Speaker 5: eat that? Oh? Yeah, I'll eat a chicken.
Speaker 4: But the did it still have the talons?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 2: No, that's what I imagined.
Speaker 5: It was a drumsticks.
Speaker 2: I don't know why I had.
Speaker 7: I think it's almost racist that we assumed the towns
Speaker 7: were attached.
Speaker 5: I think definitely.
Speaker 4: I guess it is my racism.
Speaker 7: Was it from an outdoor a wagon where you also
Speaker 7: buying edited DVDs?
Speaker 2: Were there a lot of soldiers nearby?
Speaker 8: Whenever you walk in to Toto's African Cuisine, a twelve
Speaker 8: year old hands you a bag of starbursts and you
Speaker 8: have to watch Rambo.
Speaker 4: No, that's all I know is terrible. And then blood Diamonds,
Speaker 4: and then.
Speaker 8: Apartheid again again again with the apartheid bullshit.
Speaker 5: We're parked in front of an overpriced.
Speaker 7: And we're around a bunch of dudes that, no doubt
Speaker 7: vape and have hoverboards, not the it's so misleading. I
Speaker 7: have to talk about these little glow in the dark
Speaker 7: seas that are called hoverboards.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they aren't hoverboards.
Speaker 7: No, that would be a skateboard from Back to the
Speaker 7: future that that would hoverboard.
Speaker 2: It's a new sege thing and it comes with a
Speaker 2: vape pen.
Speaker 5: Essentially, it's a segue without without the arms.
Speaker 4: Yeah, without the but sorry, does it really come with
Speaker 4: a vape penny? That's your joke.
Speaker 2: I just everyone that I see on them is also vaping.
Speaker 2: It's seen multiple times. They glow in the dark, vaping,
Speaker 2: glow in the dark.
Speaker 7: Vape you have to have a vape pen that glows
Speaker 7: the same color as you're glowing the dark hoverboard.
Speaker 5: What's the mist that you're that you're suck it up?
Speaker 2: It's vapor.
Speaker 7: But I think oftentimes it is closely related to anti
Speaker 7: freeze as far as i've oh.
Speaker 5: You can only hope.
Speaker 8: I remember my introduction to vaping was a front rowsome
Speaker 8: comedy club dude in slippers and then blew his pomegranate
Speaker 8: missed in my face. Uh, and it was pomegranate flavored,
Speaker 8: and I was like, not okay, not okay, I don't care.
Speaker 4: And that man was Owen Wilson. Why why would you
Speaker 4: do it? Because of zuland er two?
Speaker 2: Oh wow, wait a minute.
Speaker 7: Okay, can you guys remind me to own Wilson attempt suicide?
Speaker 4: Yes, when it was probably ten years ago?
Speaker 7: Okay, okay, so he I was at a party once
Speaker 7: and what's that.
Speaker 4: Turn it off?
Speaker 2: Oh? Okay?
Speaker 7: Yeah, And Owen Wilson showed up with Luke Wilson and
Speaker 7: they have a third brother. At this party, someone took
Speaker 7: their picture, and the third brother, that isn't in a
Speaker 7: lot of movies, punched the.
Speaker 2: Guy in the face, WHOA, don't take pictures of my brother?
Speaker 7: And the guy was like, it's my house, it's a party,
Speaker 7: and some famous people showed up, so I thought I'd
Speaker 7: take a pic sure of them. I wasn't like this
Speaker 7: kid didn't know that he had just attempted suicide. So
Speaker 7: I'm the first one to come at you with some
Speaker 7: negative Wilson news.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but that's just that third brother. Imagine his life.
Speaker 7: Well, I don't think Own and Luke were like, you
Speaker 7: shouldn't have done that, older brother.
Speaker 2: They were like yeah, and then they all left.
Speaker 5: Chris Holmesworth guy has a third brother.
Speaker 4: Oh what's he look like?
Speaker 5: He looks exactly like the other two dream birds.
Speaker 2: He just must not be as unshakeably talented.
Speaker 5: I think he's I think he's like seventeen.
Speaker 8: Oh oh, he didn't know he's gonna grow four more
Speaker 8: inches and become the hottest guy who isn't his own brothers.
Speaker 4: I always think about those in those like hot guy families,
Speaker 4: acting families. I always think about their mother's best friend's family.
Speaker 4: There's probably some dorky girl that had to go eat
Speaker 4: dinner at their house all the time. That was just
Speaker 4: like literally on fire with shame and embarrassment being even
Speaker 4: just sitting at the table.
Speaker 8: Yeah, just horrified that and then and then secretly dreaming
Speaker 8: that one day one of them might one day notice her.
Speaker 5: Yes, and that never happens.
Speaker 4: It's like, we can't go to the hemswitz, I have
Speaker 4: a sit Let me please know, put your dress, put
Speaker 4: your jumper on. We're going to the hems with.
Speaker 5: All the time. Is there any way that I can
Speaker 5: get a diuretic before we go?
Speaker 4: We have to go to the lake with them again?
Speaker 4: Can you imagine or just the Owen brother the Wilson brothers.
Speaker 8: I can't imagine River Phoenix and his brother Tree, or.
Speaker 4: And what Quen and who used to be Leaf. I
Speaker 4: think that's probably what you're thinking.
Speaker 5: I'm in show business, but I'm not the part that
Speaker 5: knows who.
Speaker 7: Anyone is pretay behind the scene.
Speaker 2: Of America.
Speaker 5: MC wait a minute, I'm just trying to riff now.
Speaker 2: It's I do it.
Speaker 7: I want to apologize right now. I've been so quiet.
Speaker 7: I really I get when it's twilight, like, is it twilight.
Speaker 7: It's almost dark, it's night time. I get so nervous
Speaker 7: in the car.
Speaker 4: Do you like it changes.
Speaker 2: Just my podcast character?
Speaker 7: I mean I was I'm sweating from just changing lanes
Speaker 7: and getting into this lot, and I'm just now starting
Speaker 7: to feel like myself.
Speaker 4: Well, and also you have to you're doing too maybe
Speaker 4: even three things right now?
Speaker 2: Yeah, well not now, but you were.
Speaker 7: I am kind of multitasking, but only in my brain,
Speaker 7: which is even worse because there's nothing I can do
Speaker 7: to change anything.
Speaker 5: Hey, there's a football game playing in the background. Did
Speaker 5: you see that.
Speaker 7: Oh, look it's the Broncos.
Speaker 2: Well, we're watching the Super Bowl. I love it to watching.
Speaker 7: The Super Bowl fiftieth year right now, and I don't
Speaker 7: want to. Well, it's not a spoiler. This will come
Speaker 7: out to tomorrow. Denver is up to sixteen, Carolina trailing
Speaker 7: behind at seven. We are in the quarter, just five
Speaker 7: minutes of the third quarter. We have missed the halftime show.
Speaker 7: There has been a fun ball right now they are
Speaker 7: they're scrambling around it.
Speaker 2: It looks like he's been stung by bees.
Speaker 7: There's a guy was running, digging his face into the
Speaker 7: ground like he was a dog covered in bees.
Speaker 2: But everything's okay. And I assume he wasn't covered in bees.
Speaker 4: But yeah, this is it. This is the way to
Speaker 4: watch the game.
Speaker 2: It is the way to watch through your car.
Speaker 7: So when we're near this unmarked h coffee place, did
Speaker 7: you really want to go in and get some grounds?
Speaker 7: We can like pause you and it'll be a moment
Speaker 7: where I put an advertisement.
Speaker 4: Yeah we are commercial here, that'll be kind of we'll
Speaker 4: do it right here.
Speaker 8: Okay, I shall return and we're back.
Speaker 5: I just want to cough into it before when you.
Speaker 7: I think we got that's people like podcasts to be reeling,
Speaker 7: really and.
Speaker 4: It's verites hey is what they call it. So Jackie
Speaker 4: bought some beans? What how did you make your choices
Speaker 4: in there? Is there anything exciting happened?
Speaker 5: Here's the most exciting thing. I said, you guys have
Speaker 5: any Indonesian coffee? And the guy goes, well, we have Kenya.
Speaker 4: Is that into no?
Speaker 5: And he said that I don't. I don't think so,
Speaker 5: and I said, okay, that's right.
Speaker 8: And then he comes back in like three seconds and
Speaker 8: he goes is Sumatra and I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 8: that's in Indonesia and the other the other barista goes
Speaker 8: see the great thing about this job, yoular your geography.
Speaker 2: It's nice. Did he really say that that's great?
Speaker 6: Yeah he did.
Speaker 5: He totally busted on his on his coworkers.
Speaker 4: That's very positive.
Speaker 7: That's the one thing I missed about being a barista
Speaker 7: as everyone was busting each other's balls.
Speaker 4: And insurance plus that came along. I mean, it's such
Speaker 4: a miracle. But Starbucks actually provides benefits for their employees. Imagine.
Speaker 5: I can't.
Speaker 8: Actually I haven't had anything with any sort of benefits
Speaker 8: in a dozen years.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so yeah, you're on around with that.
Speaker 5: This guy has a tiny prop film care.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good idea.
Speaker 5: That's just a prop.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's no nozzle on it, and.
Speaker 5: There's no way that that's actually to be used.
Speaker 2: No, no, And I you know he's coming our way next.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but it's not going to happen, is it.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 4: I'm going to stare over at the CVS sign like
Speaker 4: I'm trying to read something small on it.
Speaker 5: Oh, that guy's we just got a buck?
Speaker 7: Sure he did, of course he did. Oh now he's
Speaker 7: looking in there. What else he gotten there?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, can I can I have a buyer of
Speaker 2: that sandwich.
Speaker 5: Thank God, it's great. We don't have to.
Speaker 2: Watch ignore that you're in the road. For God's sake.
Speaker 4: Those people I you always hear those stories of like
Speaker 4: how people that panhandle like that make like two thousand
Speaker 4: dollars a day, right right, I just keep that in mind.
Speaker 4: I like to tell myself that makes myself, makes me
Speaker 4: feel better. I don't.
Speaker 5: It is weird, even though we do have a guy
Speaker 5: we could take a little drive by.
Speaker 8: There's a guy who lives in front of my seven
Speaker 8: to eleven. I think about him every time someone spends eighty.
Speaker 5: Dollars on their dog.
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, it's there is People do to say that,
Speaker 7: and I tend to think, no, they don't.
Speaker 5: But and the humiliation of begging might.
Speaker 7: Be worth two those right, That's what I was gonna say. Yeah,
Speaker 7: it's like you are, you're earning that. And there was
Speaker 7: one time though that I saw the the Venice rollerblading
Speaker 7: guitar guy.
Speaker 4: He's famous. I mean, he's.
Speaker 7: Big, he had a very nice car. He was getting
Speaker 7: into a very nice Mercedes.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that guy works a good eight twelve hour days
Speaker 5: and he's talented. I think eight and play the guitar.
Speaker 2: Yes, I hope he's okay health wise. I haven't seen
Speaker 2: him for a while.
Speaker 4: When I lived in San Francisco, we lived in the
Speaker 4: Upper Height and I would pass by kids like punk
Speaker 4: rock kids who were sitting on the sidewalk bagging and
Speaker 4: really obnoxious about it too. And one time and I
Speaker 4: was walking home from my second job of taking the
Speaker 4: bus from it and walked by a kid. Watched him
Speaker 4: big and then get up and get into an Audie
Speaker 4: and drive because they're just like Marine. Some of them
Speaker 4: are like Marine, punk rock kids that are like, fuck you, mom,
Speaker 4: I'm going to go into the city for the day.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 7: The homeless my choice thing. I didn't know that was
Speaker 7: a thing. I saw that in a lot in Austin.
Speaker 7: Also I saw I think it.
Speaker 8: Was invented in San Francisco, but I saw that in Minneapolis.
Speaker 8: My sister said we were living together, we both had
Speaker 8: the two of the shittiest jobs in the world.
Speaker 5: And she came.
Speaker 8: Home through her apartment with our third roommate and she said, Hey,
Speaker 8: a kid tried to panandle be uptown today in Minneapolis and.
Speaker 5: He was wearing Doc Martin.
Speaker 8: So I said, I'll give you five dollars for you
Speaker 8: day Mark anyway, you know what she's cost, she goes.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that is why I would give you dime, nun.
Speaker 4: Yeah, sell your nose ring if you're so broke.
Speaker 7: Yeah, the tattoo. Tattoos are very expensive. I think there
Speaker 7: was a point where I wanted a bunch of tattoos.
Speaker 2: Sometimes. No, they're very expensive.
Speaker 7: Tattoos and permanent and yes, yeah, and so I never
Speaker 7: did get any. So I when a kid that's like
Speaker 7: got full sleeves, Listen, eight hundred dollars arms.
Speaker 5: Clearly you're not using your money for education, right.
Speaker 7: Right, unless there's you know, very sought after literature written
Speaker 7: on your arm?
Speaker 8: Did you Okay? Do you guys have theoretical tattoos? I
Speaker 8: have recently come up with sort of the joke, but
Speaker 8: not a joke, like if I were a different person.
Speaker 5: Entirely, I would gotten this tattoo. How about you?
Speaker 4: I have mine?
Speaker 5: Would you get one? Yeah? Is it a butterfly on
Speaker 5: your lower back?
Speaker 4: It is a salmon on my lower back?
Speaker 8: Is it really?
Speaker 4: It's I was super drunk. It's this story is boring
Speaker 4: and I've told a thousand times, but basically I was
Speaker 4: with my tattoo friends who had lots of tattoos, and
Speaker 4: they're like, let's go get tattoos. And we were gonna
Speaker 4: get pog mahone written on our asses, which is Gaelic
Speaker 4: for kiss my ass. We thought that would be very funny.
Speaker 4: And when we got to the tattoo place, the tattoo
Speaker 4: artist was like, no, I would have to make that
Speaker 4: really big for it to be readable, and it'll look crazy,
Speaker 4: and no, I won't give you that tattoo. So everybody
Speaker 4: had a plan B except for me, Drunkeles, and so
Speaker 4: I was like, it'll be funny if I just get
Speaker 4: a salmon tattooed like out of the Out of the
Speaker 4: Fish and Game book, where it literally is it is
Speaker 4: the sticker that's on the the truck cabs where if
Speaker 4: like there's a fisherman that's like, I like to fish
Speaker 4: for salmon. It's that salmon told.
Speaker 5: The story thousands of dives, but I've.
Speaker 4: Never heard You've never heard it neither. Yeah, So now
Speaker 4: that's what I have. And it just kind of looks
Speaker 4: like an old Varicos vein that's luckily in the shape
Speaker 4: of a fish. Horrible, terrible mistake, dumb only regrets from
Speaker 4: the moment it happened, just.
Speaker 7: A really lucky, grease shaped oil burn.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it just looks right, but you know what it is.
Speaker 4: It's the reminder that I should probably never start drinking again,
Speaker 4: because that's the kind of shit I do when I'm drunk.
Speaker 7: I soberly got a band aid tattooed on over a
Speaker 7: mistake tattoo that I.
Speaker 2: Got with someone.
Speaker 7: Oh my god, I have a band aid on my ankle,
Speaker 7: and I always thought it might be kind of funny
Speaker 7: to have band aid's tattooed on my knees and elbows,
Speaker 7: so that that would be my joke thing if I
Speaker 7: ever got I would get band aids on my elbows
Speaker 7: and knees.
Speaker 4: I think it's funny, though we know people who would
Speaker 4: do that, and it's that kind of thing where comedians
Speaker 4: are always like, but this would be the funny thing
Speaker 4: to get. It's like, yeah, but then there's the rest
Speaker 4: of your life, Like you then you have to go
Speaker 4: to a funeral with, you know, band aids on your
Speaker 4: elbows or.
Speaker 5: It's dark enough everywhere. And I said the word hose,
Speaker 5: I'm a million years ago, that's right.
Speaker 8: Can I get my coin purse out if my pocketbook
Speaker 8: is stuck behind this?
Speaker 4: Do you have any SERTs in there.
Speaker 8: I thought for a minute that if I would have
Speaker 8: been drunk and we got tattoos in nineteen ninety four,
Speaker 8: I think I actually would have gotten night Wolf from
Speaker 8: Mortal Combat tattooed.
Speaker 4: On my leg.
Speaker 2: That's amazing.
Speaker 4: What does he look like? Okay?
Speaker 8: And he has a green, glowing tomahawk. Oh, and he
Speaker 8: is not in it.
Speaker 5: I would be an entirely different person, I think. I
Speaker 5: think if a tattoo could change somebody.
Speaker 8: If I'd gotten on my calf a tattoo of Nighthawk
Speaker 8: from Ultimate Mortal Combat or Mortal comb at three, what.
Speaker 4: Would be the difference, Shack, just give me some highlights
Speaker 4: of your day.
Speaker 5: I think it would have become a Sandinista rebel.
Speaker 8: Oh, I think it would have gone to I would,
Speaker 8: and I would.
Speaker 5: I'd be fighting for justice.
Speaker 4: You your thirst for justice. Justice would be unquenchable.
Speaker 7: It's Nicaraga in Indonesia, is right next to ken Ye.
Speaker 5: Well.
Speaker 7: The funny thing is that everyone the manager at a
Speaker 7: bank has tattoos on his neck.
Speaker 2: Now, so sure it really? I don't think manners anymore.
Speaker 5: Talking about some dark hose, though needed some dark dark hose.
Speaker 4: The tallest of turtlenecks could not help you.
Speaker 5: My brother.
Speaker 8: I've told this story one thousand times. My brother Scott
Speaker 8: got him and his buddy. You know, when you're little
Speaker 8: and your sister says, I turn around.
Speaker 5: Now and go back up this.
Speaker 8: Okay, Okay, my sister, when I was very little, she said, hey,
Speaker 8: let's cut each other's hairs.
Speaker 5: And then she cut my hair. And then she said, no,
Speaker 5: I don't think it's a good idea my hair.
Speaker 4: She's just real quick. That story is every older sister
Speaker 4: younger sister story. You just substitute the nouns. They do
Speaker 4: that to you over and over. You never learn.
Speaker 5: Never.
Speaker 8: It is a Lucy and Charlie Brown Roman constant, and
Speaker 8: it is no, I don't feel like it anymore classic.
Speaker 4: Okay, sorry.
Speaker 8: So my brother Scott did that with tattoos with a
Speaker 8: buddy of his when he was fourteen. And so Scott,
Speaker 8: older boy wanted across on one shoulder and he is
Speaker 8: hands and his buddy, fourteen year old buddy put a
Speaker 8: plus sign on.
Speaker 4: His because he was agnostic, because he was a mathematician.
Speaker 5: Yes, Scott since gotten that fixed.
Speaker 8: It had turned into a very beautiful or mean cross,
Speaker 8: if such can be said yes on a fifty year
Speaker 8: old Yeah, but so beautiful, so beautiful, gorgeous and has
Speaker 8: never been able to be corrected.
Speaker 5: Hang a left.
Speaker 8: Okay, what has never been able to be corrected is
Speaker 8: the fact that his buddy tattooed and Scott must have
Speaker 8: asked for it.
Speaker 5: Scott's name on his right. No, God, his own name
Speaker 5: Scott s C O T T. And there's no way
Speaker 5: to fix that. There's no way to wait.
Speaker 4: Scott got Scott's name, or Scott made his friend get
Speaker 4: Scott Scott's name?
Speaker 7: What right.
Speaker 5: His own name? Zone?
Speaker 8: I mean it would have been different if Scott was
Speaker 8: in love with his buddy when they were fourteen, but
Speaker 8: it was not.
Speaker 5: So uh, this is Scott and so he hasn't been
Speaker 5: able to fix that one. But I did not get
Speaker 5: to do his buddy.
Speaker 2: My friends. I have two friends at home in Montana.
Speaker 7: They always beat on and of course it's like college
Speaker 7: football or something that doesn't matter, but they have One
Speaker 7: of them has a tattoo of him going behind the
Speaker 7: other guy like in ghost and he's throwing a pot yes,
Speaker 7: And the other has my little pony with that guy's
Speaker 7: face on his thigh like they have to.
Speaker 4: Get if they lose the bet.
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, they and it's expensive and they have to
Speaker 7: pay for it themselves.
Speaker 5: And it's because of a football game.
Speaker 7: Yes, these are men, men, grown men with children and
Speaker 7: teaching jobs.
Speaker 4: I'm telling you though, and it's great. If I met
Speaker 4: a guy and he was like, can I show you
Speaker 4: this tattoo? And he opened it up and it was
Speaker 4: him and his friend in the ghost position, I would
Speaker 4: be like, I'm deeply in love with you. I need you.
Speaker 4: They need you in my life.
Speaker 7: Would fall in love with Lance Hughes immediately's does he
Speaker 7: a blonde hair? No, he's a bit of a redhead.
Speaker 4: Oh redhead though, and he's.
Speaker 2: A big supporter of our podcast.
Speaker 4: Oh hia. I basically just told Lance Hughes I loved him.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well I want.
Speaker 4: Father of seven.
Speaker 2: Finally, it's her great kids. You're going to love them.
Speaker 2: You're going to love them.
Speaker 4: I just got mom smoking outside. But who did I marry?
Speaker 4: Excuse me?
Speaker 2: It's quite all right, thank.
Speaker 4: You, Jackie. I like this area.
Speaker 8: It's a roomy, it's well, it is roomy, and it's
Speaker 8: crying out for gentrification. So if anybody has millions of
Speaker 8: dollars and really wants to open up some sort of
Speaker 8: uh bubble coffee shop next to us bail bondsman bailed
Speaker 8: next to a bail Happy Dogs.
Speaker 5: When I got my last do ui you guys? I
Speaker 5: went to Happy Dogs when I was when the when
Speaker 5: the when I was done being sentenced, Jackie.
Speaker 4: When you say last, do you mean most recent or
Speaker 4: the final one? Hopefully how many of you had to?
Speaker 7: I can't imagine you getting a d y, and that's
Speaker 7: me being judgmental.
Speaker 2: Well, can imagine me getting one? And I never have
Speaker 2: gotten one drunk.
Speaker 8: As I drove drunk every day of my life, Yeah,
Speaker 8: until I didn't until.
Speaker 2: The second, until the last day you drove, until the last.
Speaker 8: Day when I had had eight shots of US and
Speaker 8: eleven beers and Hollywood.
Speaker 5: Oh wow, Oh Eddie.
Speaker 8: Eddie the bartender tumbler glass full of yeah, which is
Speaker 8: essentially just.
Speaker 4: What was it? It was clear toothpaste, it was yeah yeah.
Speaker 5: And it's gold schlog Er esque.
Speaker 7: It's a dangerous yes, it's yer Jagermeister esque god.
Speaker 5: And I had learned from my first U.
Speaker 8: I when this guy pulled me over on Laurel Canyon,
Speaker 8: off right off the Laurel Canyon, he.
Speaker 5: Said ma'am, have you been drinking?
Speaker 8: And I said a lot, But I'm okay, Oh that's
Speaker 8: the best.
Speaker 2: It's you just we're gonna We're gonna kill him with honesty.
Speaker 8: Well, the previous to you, I the guy had pulled
Speaker 8: me over and said, ma'am, if you've been drinking?
Speaker 5: And I said I have drunk and he was like wow.
Speaker 2: So it wasn't improvable.
Speaker 5: Please step out of the field.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, good for you. Just blurting honestly, I mean.
Speaker 4: Yeah, no filter.
Speaker 5: I don't have a filter. Sober Can you imagine smokes?
Speaker 4: Wait? Did you stop drinking entirely? Yes?
Speaker 5: I stopped drinking entirely. I thought if I drink anything,
Speaker 5: this is probably gonna.
Speaker 4: End in tears or driving, which seems a heavy machinery.
Speaker 4: Once I start drinking and then.
Speaker 5: The officers of the log get involved and.
Speaker 7: Close to ten grand, it's a great time to try
Speaker 7: my hand at a tractor.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 8: Well, you know the DOUI does not affect like lawnmowers
Speaker 8: and firm.
Speaker 2: Oh no, good, all you want.
Speaker 5: That's it?
Speaker 4: You can.
Speaker 5: You can drive your putt putt to.
Speaker 4: The to the local barn.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, good.
Speaker 5: Once you got a couple of you guys gotten a couple.
Speaker 7: Of I want to get those under your belt. I've
Speaker 7: not gotten and don't believe we'll ever get one. Now
Speaker 7: it's easier to avoid them because you have uber and
Speaker 7: things like that. Yeah, and I'm an active beverage over
Speaker 7: but I'm not gonna for a month. You taking a break,
Speaker 7: I'm gonna take a break and do a little cleanse.
Speaker 4: Oh that's a good idea.
Speaker 5: Do some naval gazing. Man, maybe it's super fun.
Speaker 4: We really look inside.
Speaker 7: Do you have to go down to San Diego? Where's
Speaker 7: the nearest bace comedy?
Speaker 4: You can slap that Elvis Costello book if you really
Speaker 4: need to.
Speaker 7: Jackie you mentioned because I saw some girl Scouts today
Speaker 7: and they they had they were they were really business savvy.
Speaker 7: They had rented one of those tents like pop up tents,
Speaker 7: and they had a.
Speaker 2: Mom with them. But they were so organized, and so
Speaker 2: from something.
Speaker 7: They said, would you like any cookies today? And I
Speaker 7: my girlfriend with me. She had just bought four boxes,
Speaker 7: and so I said she just bought some, and they
Speaker 7: interrupted me and they said, well, thank you for supporting
Speaker 7: the girl Scouts, And I was like, oh, man, okay,
Speaker 7: I guess I yes, I should have bought them. I
Speaker 7: don't want them. I don't want them. I don't want
Speaker 7: I don't want cookies. That's what they don't know.
Speaker 4: About me is I'm not should have that right in
Speaker 4: the face.
Speaker 8: I don't care if iout door Girl Scout.
Speaker 5: The mom and dad were. They had a wagon full
Speaker 5: of Girl Scout cookies on Super Bowl Sunday.
Speaker 8: We're going door to door, brilliant, the wagon decorated with
Speaker 8: balloon animals.
Speaker 2: Oh that's cue.
Speaker 8: And the brother, the little brother desperately wanting in on it,
Speaker 8: but not a Girl Scout.
Speaker 5: So it was just kind of hopping around behind the
Speaker 5: door as he left here.
Speaker 7: That's why I like the Girl Scouts. They probably would
Speaker 7: allow that little brother to be in because the Boy
Speaker 7: Scouts or the cub Scouts are very They're like they
Speaker 7: won't let remember they don't. I don't think they let
Speaker 7: gay kids in.
Speaker 5: Do you guys want to meet Larry? Here's my seven eleven.
Speaker 8: The yeah, so ding dong. I just finished recording a
Speaker 8: door for us. And about the sping. That's the doorbell,
Speaker 8: that's the doorbell, that's that's the space work, that's the audience.
Speaker 4: Night.
Speaker 2: It's hard audience.
Speaker 8: And uh, and so I answered the door and it
Speaker 8: is an adorable like six or seven year old and
Speaker 8: right here, okay.
Speaker 9: So the the the kid, I was like, well, I
Speaker 9: don't know, there's an adorable tiny child, but the girl's
Speaker 9: got uniform.
Speaker 8: I don't know how to say no to that, right,
Speaker 8: And my guest sovereign sien.
Speaker 4: Sovereign, Yeah, yeah she was.
Speaker 8: She was like, oh, I don't know how you would
Speaker 8: turn it down, and the mom just grinned and the
Speaker 8: little boy danced. And I bought four boxes because she
Speaker 8: didn't change for twenty but you probably did.
Speaker 4: Can I guess your flavors?
Speaker 5: Yep?
Speaker 4: Jackie Casion would absolutely do thin mint it away. She's
Speaker 4: putting them in the blender and then how it used
Speaker 4: to be. And then I bet you would go for
Speaker 4: a samoa? Is that what they're called the caramel chocolate?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Yeahmosa what I called.
Speaker 4: Itmosas or samoa?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 5: And Hawaiian are.
Speaker 7: They yeah, not to be confused with the exactly they're larger,
Speaker 7: they're huge and uh. According to a lot of racism,
Speaker 7: quick to anger, cookies.
Speaker 2: Long hair, my racism.
Speaker 4: Really not yours.
Speaker 5: I never just super racism.
Speaker 4: Do you did you do a dozy dough.
Speaker 5: I didn't so just those two those two.
Speaker 4: Oh two boxes of boxes. I'm sorry? Did I get both?
Speaker 4: Is exactly right. That's my new thing. I will tell
Speaker 4: you what what cookie you like from the Girls Scouts.
Speaker 5: I'll do it. You know, what have you thought about
Speaker 5: a little side job?
Speaker 4: We're uh next to the Girl Scouts outside of the
Speaker 4: grocery store, and let me tell you what you're gonna get?
Speaker 2: Yeah, plug in a crystal ball.
Speaker 5: Oh this just.
Speaker 4: Starts screaming lemon cream at people as they walk up,
Speaker 4: and like.
Speaker 5: The Crucible, you can just point and yell the kind
Speaker 5: of the kind of cookie.
Speaker 4: Jackie. We just basically this is due. You need to
Speaker 4: run an errand that's what just happens.
Speaker 2: It's not as catchy, but I know you have a
Speaker 2: show and I do.
Speaker 5: Here's all right. Here's the weird thing is I need
Speaker 5: a ride to the airport.
Speaker 8: But I wouldn't ask anyone to drive me to the
Speaker 8: airport for a ten am flight to lax from air
Speaker 8: because then you would have to get me there around
Speaker 8: eight eight thirty, right, and then come back up the
Speaker 8: four or five.
Speaker 4: Don't do that.
Speaker 2: We've been yeah, we've been doing fewer, lax. Right, So
Speaker 2: it's part of our original I call it mission statement.
Speaker 2: But I wish I could say something else.
Speaker 8: Well, Andy told me that he would drive me, because
Speaker 8: aie always drives me. I mean, we've been together too
Speaker 8: long for him still to be picking me up at
Speaker 8: the airport, don't.
Speaker 2: You think, No, no, no, he's he's legally bound.
Speaker 5: To do.
Speaker 4: Because we're a better way well Burbank. But lax, that's
Speaker 4: a test of your love.
Speaker 5: It's a total test of my love.
Speaker 4: How you know?
Speaker 5: You know what.
Speaker 8: I every single time I say I could take the
Speaker 8: fly away. You guys, you guys know about the flyway,
Speaker 8: and they.
Speaker 4: Drop you off so nice, But then you have to
Speaker 4: wait for them to pick up every other person in
Speaker 4: Los Angeles County.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't.
Speaker 8: You have to go to the Flyway, and they like
Speaker 8: to change the way you pay for it. Sometimes it's cash,
Speaker 8: sometimes it's a credit card. Sometimes they only dig debit cards.
Speaker 8: Sometimes you have to bring a chicken.
Speaker 4: It's really bad with the feet sticking out.
Speaker 8: Right, And it used to be like two bucks, which
Speaker 8: of course is absurd, right from van to the to
Speaker 8: the airport. Yeah, and now it's eight, which is still
Speaker 8: pretty decent.
Speaker 4: How do they make money off of that?
Speaker 5: I think it's subsidized by the US government sometimes. Oh
Speaker 5: I see, I think Bernie Sanders.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've walked.
Speaker 7: You can walk a mile from my house and get
Speaker 7: on the SETI bus and it's one dollar and they
Speaker 7: take you to l A X.
Speaker 2: But there's too many things that might go wrong, yeah.
Speaker 4: Risk, too many knives, yes, yes.
Speaker 7: Too many, plus the walking with you with all my
Speaker 7: luggage and my shirt, you know, my koozies, my coasters.
Speaker 4: The limited edition posters.
Speaker 8: Yes, I have the much merge by the way I
Speaker 8: have as a stand up comic. I don't know anyone
Speaker 8: who has more items than I do and sells less stuff.
Speaker 5: But I like to bring a lot of different choices.
Speaker 4: It's about choice these days. It's about choices. You're smart.
Speaker 5: And somebody likes to always come up and say, do
Speaker 5: you have them? Like a women's cut?
Speaker 8: Do I have I American Apparel?
Speaker 4: Pull out some scissors and cut the.
Speaker 2: Shirt in front of here you go. There you go,
Speaker 2: throw it in the air and toss the switchblade at it.
Speaker 4: What's your show tonight?
Speaker 5: I'm doing. It's after the super Bowl.
Speaker 8: Super Bowl. It's called the nerd bowl. I don't know
Speaker 8: what it means. All I know is that Flappers asked
Speaker 8: me if I knew any nerds, and I was like, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 8: sure do And I said Dan Telfer, Yeah, so he's
Speaker 8: gonna ken team of nerds. And then I don't know
Speaker 8: who else is on the show, but I told him
Speaker 8: a bunch of comics that are that are complete dorks.
Speaker 4: And and what are you doing like a quiz bowl
Speaker 4: thing like trivia or I don't.
Speaker 5: Know, I'm planning on doing my act. What the heck?
Speaker 2: Of course that's what you should do.
Speaker 4: Yes, Sometimes there's those homework shows though that you had
Speaker 4: to come and do a whole different act.
Speaker 2: I did Largo.
Speaker 7: The other it was Bringing the Rock, and I uh
Speaker 7: catered my whole set to this Van Halen moment that
Speaker 7: I had and uh but then everyone else kind of
Speaker 7: did their material and ended with a thing yeah right,
Speaker 7: And I was like, man, I really wish i'd done that, Yeah,
Speaker 7: especially Margo.
Speaker 5: I've only don't Bring the Rock once.
Speaker 8: As a person who knows my aim is true from
Speaker 8: Elvis Costello, you can.
Speaker 5: Imagine how it went.
Speaker 8: It didn't go well because I did try to talk
Speaker 8: about music and I don't know enough about it. I
Speaker 8: have you know it's playing in K Rock k Jackie
Speaker 8: right now is a song that Aaron Bursings in the
Speaker 8: musical Hamilton.
Speaker 4: Jackie the Best. It's the Aaron Burslo.
Speaker 5: He's got a lot of Hey, thanks for the ride.
Speaker 5: I don't want to get my coffee.
Speaker 4: Yeah, please, don't thank you so much for being our
Speaker 4: super Bowl guest.
Speaker 2: We're doing great great, Yeah, yeah, we did we did well.
Speaker 4: We did it, we got it done.
Speaker 5: Thanks guys.
Speaker 4: And do you want to plug anything?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 8: I do stand up comedy and I have a podcast
Speaker 8: called The Dork Forest. Plus I have the new podcast
Speaker 8: with Lori kill Martin, where little did I know people
Speaker 8: have always wanted to hear me a bitch.
Speaker 5: About stand up comedy in come. That's right, So Lori
Speaker 5: Martin unnerdiced.
Speaker 4: What's it called on Laurie and Jackie The Jackie Lorrie Show?
Speaker 5: I did you name? It's with the Jackie Lord Show.
Speaker 5: And I was called the Laurie and Jackie Show.
Speaker 2: Because you're both not selfish.
Speaker 4: That's right.
Speaker 8: We give and we give and we talk about how
Speaker 8: women comics give too much.
Speaker 5: That's yeah.
Speaker 4: Anyway, he's nervous about the game.
Speaker 2: We're down to the wire.
Speaker 8: All right, I'm gonna drive the flappers you guys, I'm
Speaker 8: gonna go get my my car ont A Hawk.
Speaker 4: But thanks for driving course, of course, thank you.
Speaker 2: Jackie Podcast. Jaggie, you've been listening to Do you Need
Speaker 2: a Ride?
Speaker 5: D Y N A R? Are leaving?
Speaker 2: You want way back?
Speaker 4: Either way, we want to be there. Doesn't matter how much.
Speaker 3: Baggage you clive us time and day turning on Gaye.
Speaker 3: We want to send you up inside. We wanna welcome
Speaker 3: you back home.
Speaker 4: Tell us all about every scared he was?
Speaker 5: It fine.
Speaker 4: Now porn. Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Do you need ride? Do you need to ride? Do
Speaker 4: you need
Speaker 2: With Karen and Chris