WEBVTT - I Choose ME during the Holidays 0:00:01.680 --> 0:00:09.280 You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garl. Hello 0:00:09.920 --> 0:00:14.680 and Happy holidays, Happy Holidays, Welcome to I Choose Me. 0:00:15.280 --> 0:00:19.239 This podcast is all about making choices, choices that help 0:00:19.400 --> 0:00:24.279 create peace and wholeness for you and the people you love. 0:00:24.400 --> 0:00:28.479 Doesn't that sound good? This year, I have had the 0:00:29.120 --> 0:00:33.199 honor of sitting down with some really incredible guests. I've 0:00:33.200 --> 0:00:37.720 been so lucky to have shared some really powerful stories 0:00:37.760 --> 0:00:42.240 but also some powerful ways to choose yourself during the holidays, 0:00:42.440 --> 0:00:44.680 which can be the hardest time to take care of 0:00:44.720 --> 0:00:47.720 our own needs. Let's be honest before we hear from 0:00:47.760 --> 0:00:53.040 my fab friends Gabrielle Carteris Evett, Nicole Brown, Candace Cameron 0:00:53.120 --> 0:00:57.480 Beret and others. Let me share my very favorite and 0:00:57.640 --> 0:01:00.200 very easy I Choose Me moment for this season and 0:01:00.520 --> 0:01:06.039 something I'm gonna do. Choose a holiday tradition because you 0:01:06.120 --> 0:01:09.240 love it, not because they love it. It could be 0:01:09.800 --> 0:01:14.679 watching your favorite holiday movie because you want to watch it. 0:01:15.760 --> 0:01:18.399 Don't let them pick the movie. It could be a 0:01:18.480 --> 0:01:23.400 recipe that brings back those childhood memories, or maybe you 0:01:23.440 --> 0:01:26.399 know something that's going on in your neighborhood. Pick a 0:01:26.480 --> 0:01:31.399 local Christmas eve service you know with beautiful music just 0:01:31.440 --> 0:01:35.800 make you feel so good. So pick one ritual that 0:01:35.880 --> 0:01:40.479 fills you up and make it non negotiable. Because when 0:01:40.560 --> 0:01:44.959 you anchor yourself in something that brings you real comfort, 0:01:45.360 --> 0:01:51.360 it naturally softens everything else around you. So cheers to 0:01:51.480 --> 0:01:55.040 choosing yourself this holiday. Here are some tips from my 0:01:55.120 --> 0:01:59.400 friends to have a happy and stress free holiday season. 0:01:59.560 --> 0:02:03.600 Candice Cameron Burray, what is the one way that you 0:02:03.800 --> 0:02:07.360 find to choose yourself during the holidays to enjoy the 0:02:07.360 --> 0:02:10.200 holiday amidst all of the chaos of the season. 0:02:13.639 --> 0:02:14.240 That's fun day. 0:02:14.919 --> 0:02:19.880 It's it's hard because Christmas is, especially when you've raised kids, 0:02:19.960 --> 0:02:22.440 it's a lot of work. It's a ton of work, 0:02:22.520 --> 0:02:23.240 and you're tired. 0:02:23.680 --> 0:02:30.799 I think, I know, I can I answer this into 0:02:31.160 --> 0:02:32.840 you choose which answer you want. 0:02:32.919 --> 0:02:33.720 Okay, okay. 0:02:34.400 --> 0:02:37.400 I love decorating my Christmas tree and I usually do 0:02:37.480 --> 0:02:39.360 it on myself because no one wants to help me, 0:02:39.480 --> 0:02:40.880 to be honest, but. 0:02:40.919 --> 0:02:41.680 I love it. 0:02:41.880 --> 0:02:45.560 And so I put a Christmas movie on, which is 0:02:45.639 --> 0:02:51.560 usually White Christmas or like Miracle on thirty four Streets, 0:02:51.600 --> 0:02:53.799 something old, and I just love it, but usually White 0:02:53.840 --> 0:02:57.160 Christmas because I love the dancing in it, and I 0:02:57.280 --> 0:03:00.520 just I just decorate like by myself, no when no 0:03:00.560 --> 0:03:03.720 one else is around, and I like, I love it. 0:03:03.760 --> 0:03:07.000 This makes me really happy during the holidays. The other 0:03:07.080 --> 0:03:10.520 thing I like in that during Christmas time is I 0:03:10.600 --> 0:03:13.160 need everyone to get dressed up. One night. I need 0:03:13.200 --> 0:03:18.440 to put on like the Christmas outfit, and nobody ever 0:03:18.480 --> 0:03:19.240 wants to do that. 0:03:19.360 --> 0:03:20.720 But I don't know why. 0:03:20.960 --> 0:03:23.680 Everyone wants to stay cozy and pjs. But I like 0:03:24.120 --> 0:03:29.280 to get like one night of a holiday Christmas y dressed, 0:03:29.520 --> 0:03:33.960 fancy cocktail night kind of thing. And I don't know. 0:03:34.120 --> 0:03:37.040 I feel like I force everyone to go to something 0:03:37.120 --> 0:03:40.320 during the holidays that they don't want to. So mama 0:03:40.360 --> 0:03:41.440 wants to get dressed up. 0:03:42.360 --> 0:03:47.680 Oh, I think that's great, Jen hat Maker, give me 0:03:48.000 --> 0:03:51.680 one tip, one way we can choose ourselves during the 0:03:51.720 --> 0:03:52.680 holiday season. 0:03:54.280 --> 0:04:01.119 Oh my god, do not be afraid to say no. 0:04:01.760 --> 0:04:04.680 Do not be afraid. You will not ruin everybody's Christmas. 0:04:04.840 --> 0:04:07.200 You will not ruin your Christmas. You will not ruin 0:04:07.280 --> 0:04:11.800 Christmas itself. If something comes up and it feels like 0:04:12.080 --> 0:04:18.120 too much, too long, too far, too hard, too busy, 0:04:18.200 --> 0:04:22.680 you with no equivocation, can say thank you so much 0:04:22.760 --> 0:04:24.880 for inviting me. I cannot I won't be able to 0:04:24.920 --> 0:04:26.840 make that, or I will not be able to put 0:04:26.920 --> 0:04:29.680 up a second Christmas tree this year, or I will 0:04:29.720 --> 0:04:32.280 not be able to be in that gift exchange, or 0:04:32.680 --> 0:04:34.880 I can't come to that party. Thank you, So do 0:04:35.360 --> 0:04:39.120 not be afraid to say no. Everybody is inviting everybody 0:04:39.200 --> 0:04:44.280 to everything everywhere. So I spent a lot of Christmas 0:04:44.400 --> 0:04:46.840 is trying to please everybody who wanted me to be anywhere, 0:04:46.880 --> 0:04:52.839 and it was disastrous. So this is your season. You 0:04:52.960 --> 0:04:55.919 chart your path, You build out your own rhythms in 0:04:55.920 --> 0:04:58.920 a way that feels like delightful to you. 0:04:59.000 --> 0:05:05.480 Perfect Theresa Kabudo, I'm just gonna ask you, how do 0:05:05.520 --> 0:05:08.520 you choose yourself during the craziness of Christmas. 0:05:08.760 --> 0:05:11.760 Oh, I think it's easier now because my kids are old, 0:05:11.920 --> 0:05:14.560 so it's it's easier. But I always put a present 0:05:14.640 --> 0:05:18.400 under the tree from Santa to Teresa. 0:05:20.240 --> 0:05:21.600 You are a smart Oh. 0:05:21.680 --> 0:05:26.200 Yeah, I love I love gifts. I love shopping. I 0:05:26.360 --> 0:05:29.440 just I just I just love things. 0:05:31.200 --> 0:05:34.080 Well, speaking of shopping, be sure to check out your 0:05:34.080 --> 0:05:37.200 beautiful jewelry line Divinely Guided, Finely Guided. 0:05:37.680 --> 0:05:38.479 Yeah, I mean. 0:05:38.320 --> 0:05:39.240 It's so special. 0:05:39.279 --> 0:05:41.640 I mean I really just wanted to create something because 0:05:42.200 --> 0:05:45.160 Heaven and Earth really do meat at the smallest moments, 0:05:45.600 --> 0:05:48.000 and I want everyone to find that. And that's why, 0:05:48.200 --> 0:05:50.080 like even the pieces of wearing tete like this this 0:05:50.200 --> 0:05:54.839 cross that we just it's a for our QBC to 0:05:54.920 --> 0:05:57.400 kind of give people, no matter what faith they are, 0:05:57.800 --> 0:06:00.560 to give them that kind of little their little faith back. 0:06:00.560 --> 0:06:01.480 Just a little reminder. 0:06:01.640 --> 0:06:03.080 This is the let the light impendent. 0:06:03.200 --> 0:06:05.680 Okay, you I got that one. That's the one you 0:06:05.720 --> 0:06:08.240 sent me. That's the light dependent. 0:06:08.320 --> 0:06:11.039 Yeah, because in our darkest times we have to remember 0:06:11.120 --> 0:06:14.520 to let the light in. And this is when the 0:06:14.600 --> 0:06:18.400 light hits this. You can see it like it reflects it, 0:06:18.640 --> 0:06:21.440 but it also comes in and it's surrounded by on 0:06:21.520 --> 0:06:25.240 the top it says grounding strength and power to remind 0:06:25.279 --> 0:06:28.120 ourselves to ground us and that we have the strength 0:06:28.120 --> 0:06:31.080 and power to let the light in even in our 0:06:31.120 --> 0:06:31.760 darkest moment. 0:06:31.800 --> 0:06:33.320 Oh my gosh, I gotta go put it on. 0:06:35.000 --> 0:06:37.040 See and then I'm also wearing what my rosary beats. 0:06:37.320 --> 0:06:43.680 Oh my gosh, that's so good. How does Evette Nicole 0:06:43.720 --> 0:06:49.679 Brown get through the chaos of the holidays woo. 0:06:49.120 --> 0:06:51.520 By not partaking in any of it? 0:06:52.440 --> 0:06:55.760 I answer, I've heard telling you. I don't. I don't 0:06:55.839 --> 0:06:59.240 trick or treat. I don't dress up for halle Thanksgiving. 0:06:59.279 --> 0:07:00.400 I usually get me a. 0:07:00.320 --> 0:07:04.400 Little smoked turkey breast from a honey baked ham, like 0:07:04.440 --> 0:07:07.680 two weeks before Thanksgiving and make my little meal. And 0:07:07.800 --> 0:07:10.160 by the time everybody else eating Thanksgiving, I've already had 0:07:10.680 --> 0:07:14.960 my turkey and sweet potatoes over and over again. And 0:07:15.000 --> 0:07:18.480 then when it comes to Christmas, you know, I don't 0:07:18.480 --> 0:07:21.760 do the family card, I don't do the year letter. 0:07:22.960 --> 0:07:25.000 I feel repulsed by both of those things. 0:07:25.160 --> 0:07:27.320 Yeah, I just think like I can't. I don't have it. 0:07:27.400 --> 0:07:29.680 I don't remember what happened yesterday. Let alone tell you 0:07:29.760 --> 0:07:31.680 what happened in January and walk you through it. 0:07:32.320 --> 0:07:35.600 And I may have a Christmas tree that's been up 0:07:35.640 --> 0:07:36.400 for two years. 0:07:36.680 --> 0:07:38.960 Oh it's just ready. 0:07:39.240 --> 0:07:40.040 So that song. 0:07:40.080 --> 0:07:41.840 We need a little Christmas right this very minute, going 0:07:41.840 --> 0:07:43.400 to the family room. There's some Christmas body. 0:07:43.680 --> 0:07:46.520 So I honestly do not. I don't deal with any 0:07:46.560 --> 0:07:47.560 of it. I don't do any of it. 0:07:48.080 --> 0:07:52.600 Well, Merry Christmas, happening, all the things forever, we don't 0:07:52.640 --> 0:07:53.880 ever have to talk about it again. 0:07:54.200 --> 0:07:56.400 Yeah, I don't do it. 0:07:56.520 --> 0:07:59.080 Hard enough, I don't want it, says take it easy 0:07:59.080 --> 0:07:59.920 on yourselves people. 0:08:00.120 --> 0:08:01.920 That's what I'm trying to tell people. Y'all better relax. 0:08:02.160 --> 0:08:03.760 How about you enjoy the day? 0:08:04.080 --> 0:08:04.760 How about. 0:08:06.000 --> 0:08:06.400 All right? 0:08:06.440 --> 0:08:09.160 Thank you so much for spending time with me. I 0:08:09.200 --> 0:08:10.040 really love seeing you. 0:08:10.320 --> 0:08:15.200 Yes, thank you, Brooke Broke. 0:08:15.320 --> 0:08:18.520 What is the one way that you find to separate 0:08:18.560 --> 0:08:22.040 yourself from the chaos that is the holiday season? 0:08:22.520 --> 0:08:26.440 So hard? Holidays have always been madness around my house. 0:08:26.680 --> 0:08:32.240 I bett they're organizing the clean up. I love the 0:08:32.320 --> 0:08:33.120 family time. 0:08:33.280 --> 0:08:33.880 It's hard. 0:08:34.800 --> 0:08:38.720 I feel like my children are older now, so it's 0:08:38.760 --> 0:08:41.600 a little bit less is more. You remember the days 0:08:41.600 --> 0:08:43.920 of trying to do all these We still do stockings, 0:08:43.960 --> 0:08:45.840 by the way, even for my older kids. It's fun 0:08:46.280 --> 0:08:48.720 thing in our house. But letting them really, I guess, 0:08:48.760 --> 0:08:51.040 get involved and make some wishes and get the more 0:08:51.160 --> 0:08:54.920 significant thing instead of a bunch. But I don't compromise 0:08:55.040 --> 0:08:59.160 my wellness around the holidays. I find that yoga is 0:08:59.200 --> 0:09:04.000 my reset, my therapy, it's my medicine. It's calming for me. Lately, 0:09:04.040 --> 0:09:07.360 I'm trying to do one class in the evening because 0:09:07.400 --> 0:09:09.600 it helps me really wind down and drop into a 0:09:09.640 --> 0:09:14.320 greater sleep state. But I'm walking a lot trying to 0:09:14.360 --> 0:09:18.920 take some digestion walks because there's more food, there's more flavors, 0:09:18.920 --> 0:09:21.880 there's more decades we're drinking, like whatever your jam is. 0:09:21.880 --> 0:09:25.360 There's just a lot more going on. And I maybe 0:09:25.520 --> 0:09:29.040 add in a class. It schedule allows during the holidays. 0:09:29.640 --> 0:09:31.520 One of the reasons why I like the app world 0:09:31.640 --> 0:09:33.800 or the digital world, whether it's with me or somebody else, 0:09:33.840 --> 0:09:35.920 even on YouTube, get free content. I don't have to 0:09:36.000 --> 0:09:38.200 drive anywhere or go anywhere. I can kind of say 0:09:38.280 --> 0:09:42.520 thirty forty minutes and it helps me reset so much 0:09:42.559 --> 0:09:45.160 of what I do in fitnesses for my head, my energy, 0:09:45.200 --> 0:09:48.760 and my strap and I'm in a much better mood after. 0:09:48.840 --> 0:09:49.680 That work out. 0:09:50.040 --> 0:09:53.600 That's good for the holidays. Everybody wants mama to be 0:09:53.840 --> 0:09:56.240 happy during the holidays and not straight. 0:09:56.360 --> 0:09:59.240 It's fun. Maybe you'll join us. We do it a 0:09:59.360 --> 0:10:03.280 live stream a turkey burn, a like post turkey sodio 0:10:03.400 --> 0:10:07.040 burn Thanksgiving. So it's really I just do it from 0:10:07.080 --> 0:10:09.839 your own home. But I think fitness has to be fun, 0:10:10.400 --> 0:10:13.319 and it's fun during the holidays to do it with family, friends, 0:10:13.360 --> 0:10:13.920 love and just. 0:10:13.840 --> 0:10:14.520 Take a walk. 0:10:14.840 --> 0:10:17.240 Yeah yeah, just take a walk, move your body. 0:10:17.400 --> 0:10:23.560 Family walks on my list, got it. Gabrielle Carterris. The 0:10:23.559 --> 0:10:25.440 holiday season is here. 0:10:25.400 --> 0:10:26.240 It is upon us. 0:10:26.600 --> 0:10:28.880 What do you do to choose yourself during the holidays 0:10:28.920 --> 0:10:31.400 to keep saying and to truly enjoy them? 0:10:31.840 --> 0:10:33.679 The holidays are not as hard for me to get 0:10:33.679 --> 0:10:37.040 through with peace. So what I say for me enjoy 0:10:38.040 --> 0:10:40.920 whatever to get through peace. Make sure to give time 0:10:40.960 --> 0:10:45.280 to yourself. I find I am committed to it at 0:10:45.360 --> 0:10:47.040 least an hour a day, that's just myself. 0:10:47.080 --> 0:10:47.560 What do you do? 0:10:48.360 --> 0:10:52.120 I get up very early. I get five o'clock. Yeah, 0:10:52.280 --> 0:10:54.679 today was four thirty, but at five o'clock I have 0:10:54.720 --> 0:10:59.600 thirty I try not to go on my phone. Right 0:11:00.800 --> 0:11:03.360 sometimes I do, I go, but I go away from it. 0:11:03.920 --> 0:11:07.640 I have a cup of tea. Sometimes I stand outside 0:11:07.679 --> 0:11:10.440 just to smell the air because I think that's to 0:11:10.480 --> 0:11:13.000 remember where I'm at. And then like today, I woke 0:11:13.080 --> 0:11:15.679 up at six thirty, but when the sun came up 0:11:15.720 --> 0:11:18.560 to quarter seven, because I won't walk outside by myself 0:11:18.559 --> 0:11:21.080 other than I went to start on a three mile 0:11:21.200 --> 0:11:26.760 walk and I just smell the air and I literally 0:11:26.880 --> 0:11:30.080 just live in gratitude in that moment. That's what I 0:11:30.120 --> 0:11:32.080 try to do. And so this holiday will be the 0:11:32.120 --> 0:11:34.520 same thing for me, I'll take that time because I 0:11:34.520 --> 0:11:36.960 will hope to carry with my to my family. But 0:11:37.080 --> 0:11:40.480 for me, because I I'm in a good place with 0:11:40.559 --> 0:11:42.680 my family. We're not all there and I know that, 0:11:43.400 --> 0:11:46.439 but I would say, family or loved ones, take the 0:11:46.480 --> 0:11:51.160 time to see them, don't rush through that moment. Maybe 0:11:51.240 --> 0:11:53.600 even let them know what they do for you in 0:11:53.640 --> 0:11:54.280 your life. 0:11:54.360 --> 0:11:54.960 And just. 0:11:57.000 --> 0:11:59.319 For me, I will be living in gratitude. I feel 0:11:59.520 --> 0:12:02.960 very blessed, and I will shower them all with the 0:12:03.000 --> 0:12:05.800 love that I have. And I love this time of year. 0:12:06.120 --> 0:12:09.040 You're a big entertainer. You must be excited. 0:12:09.600 --> 0:12:11.800 It's gonna be great. I'll have tons of parties on 0:12:12.000 --> 0:12:15.080 everybody for dinner. I just love it. I love cooking 0:12:15.120 --> 0:12:18.040 for everybody. I don't even have to talk. I can 0:12:18.120 --> 0:12:20.400 just like listen to them talk. It makes me very happy. 0:12:21.240 --> 0:12:26.880 It's my my happy place. You're such a giver, very lucky. 0:12:28.440 --> 0:12:30.200 What will you be doing. I get up. 0:12:30.080 --> 0:12:33.280 Earlier now so I have that buff buffer, so that 0:12:33.480 --> 0:12:35.760 I know I have time to not look at my phone. 0:12:35.800 --> 0:12:38.000 Nobody's awake yet, I don't have to deal with anything. 0:12:38.080 --> 0:12:38.440 That's right. 0:12:38.480 --> 0:12:40.800 It's quiet, it's quiet. I usually do a little. I 0:12:40.880 --> 0:12:43.280 learned this from Brook Burk. Do a little red mask 0:12:43.640 --> 0:12:46.360 therapy while I'm meditating in the morning, while I'm thinking 0:12:46.400 --> 0:12:47.640 of the things I'm grateful for. 0:12:48.160 --> 0:12:48.400 Great. 0:12:48.520 --> 0:12:50.680 Then from there great kind of hit the ground running. 0:12:50.720 --> 0:12:53.040 And the busier you get, the more you have to 0:12:53.040 --> 0:12:56.040 take time for yourself. Yes, that's great, Jen, because you 0:12:56.080 --> 0:12:58.320 know what, I really believe this, If you take some 0:12:58.400 --> 0:13:01.160 time to yourself, more time for Jayley and the holidays, 0:13:01.160 --> 0:13:03.840 when you're feeling and you're up against the wall, you'll 0:13:03.880 --> 0:13:04.440 get more done. 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:08.280 You get more done, You're just more present. And isn't 0:13:08.320 --> 0:13:09.960 that what the holidays are supposed to be about. 0:13:10.240 --> 0:13:12.920 It's because all this is make believe. But even that 0:13:12.960 --> 0:13:15.600 you're doing this stuff, it's all great. Yeah, your family 0:13:15.800 --> 0:13:18.400 and your friends in your life, that's the real truth. 0:13:18.480 --> 0:13:21.640 I'd pray that's what I'm going to think about you. 0:13:21.800 --> 0:13:24.080 But you have that This holiday thank you. 0:13:30.760 --> 0:13:35.040 Isn't Gabrielle the best. My guests shared some beautiful I 0:13:35.120 --> 0:13:37.440 Choose Me moments for the holidays. But the truth is 0:13:37.520 --> 0:13:42.079 these reminders aren't just seasonal. They're kind of like tools 0:13:42.120 --> 0:13:44.720 that help us find peace and wholeness all year long. 0:13:45.360 --> 0:13:48.400 So congratulations for taking this. I choose me moment to 0:13:48.440 --> 0:13:51.840 be with me right now. Here are some more from 0:13:51.920 --> 0:13:57.120 this year's conversations with my amazing and wise friends Jason Priestley. 0:13:57.160 --> 0:14:00.440 What was your last I Choose me moment? 0:14:01.280 --> 0:14:04.640 You know what, I choose me almost every day when 0:14:04.679 --> 0:14:08.960 I go to pilates because it is a totally selfish endeavor. 0:14:09.679 --> 0:14:11.880 And whether I'm going there or I'm just going to 0:14:11.880 --> 0:14:14.560 the gym. You know, I work out six days a week. 0:14:14.720 --> 0:14:15.640 But that's not selfish. 0:14:15.679 --> 0:14:16.320 I got to stop you. 0:14:16.360 --> 0:14:17.240 That's not selfishish. 0:14:17.280 --> 0:14:18.480 It is no, no, no, no. 0:14:18.360 --> 0:14:21.440 No, it's not selfish because you have to take care 0:14:21.480 --> 0:14:23.040 of yourself so that you can be there for your 0:14:23.080 --> 0:14:24.320 kids and you have to stay healthy. 0:14:25.400 --> 0:14:26.160 Well, that's true. 0:14:26.520 --> 0:14:28.480 You're taking care of yourself so you can be a 0:14:28.480 --> 0:14:31.880 better caretaker and okay father figure. 0:14:32.000 --> 0:14:34.240 Yes, okay, okay, okay. 0:14:34.520 --> 0:14:36.320 I don't want you to feel like it's selfish. 0:14:36.720 --> 0:14:39.440 Okay, I don't. I don't think itself is in a 0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:42.400 bad way. But I think it's I feel like it's 0:14:42.440 --> 0:14:47.400 it is. It is a self serving act, you know what. 0:14:47.560 --> 0:14:50.160 You know. I also I also want to keep myself 0:14:50.160 --> 0:14:54.200 in shape so I feel better. Yes, right, I mean, 0:14:54.200 --> 0:14:57.280 I you know, being being there for my kids and 0:14:57.320 --> 0:14:59.360 being a better father for my kids. And it's sort 0:14:59.360 --> 0:15:02.200 of a byproduct, but I feel, you know, I don't 0:15:02.280 --> 0:15:04.480 I don't ever want to be that guy. And I 0:15:04.520 --> 0:15:06.400 was talking to another actor friend of mine about this 0:15:06.880 --> 0:15:09.960 the other night and just talking about, you know, like 0:15:10.200 --> 0:15:13.040 getting older and how you know, as we get older, 0:15:13.080 --> 0:15:15.520 our bodies start eating all our muscle mass, and so 0:15:15.560 --> 0:15:19.000 it's really important to you know, to resistance train and 0:15:19.560 --> 0:15:23.240 keep your skin bag full so you get because if 0:15:23.240 --> 0:15:25.880 you know, once your body eats all its muscle, then 0:15:25.920 --> 0:15:27.840 then your bones start to get brittle and you fall 0:15:27.880 --> 0:15:30.360 over and you break a hip and next thing you know, 0:15:31.320 --> 0:15:35.160 you're you're home sucking a brew. Now that doesn't work there, 0:15:35.760 --> 0:15:36.280 I mean. 0:15:37.680 --> 0:15:41.080 The aging thing. It's good to know that you have 0:15:41.120 --> 0:15:45.960 conversations like that with your friends, because I do too. Yeah, 0:15:46.920 --> 0:15:51.240 conversations I never saw myself having, but they matter. They 0:15:51.360 --> 0:15:54.479 mean something to me. And sharing like knowledge and information 0:15:55.240 --> 0:15:59.680 with people my same age worrying or thinking or focusing 0:15:59.720 --> 0:16:03.000 on this things is so important. Yeah, that's one of 0:16:03.040 --> 0:16:05.200 the reasons I love doing this podcast because we can 0:16:05.280 --> 0:16:07.920 really share a lot of a lot of information with 0:16:07.960 --> 0:16:10.240 a lot of people. And I think you're that message 0:16:10.240 --> 0:16:14.040 of that what you're doing and choosing yourself for yourself 0:16:14.480 --> 0:16:18.480 and as a byproduct for your family, there's nothing wrong. 0:16:18.560 --> 0:16:20.760 That's that's what it's all about, is taking care of 0:16:20.800 --> 0:16:23.160 yourself because guess what nobody else. 0:16:23.080 --> 0:16:23.680 Is going to do it? 0:16:24.040 --> 0:16:30.280 Goshcha Oliver Hudson, how do you find your own peace 0:16:30.320 --> 0:16:33.160 and wholeness? What was your last I choose me moment? 0:16:33.840 --> 0:16:34.240 Mmmm? 0:16:36.280 --> 0:16:37.280 This, it's a good question. 0:16:38.440 --> 0:16:41.840 The last time you said I'm gonna do this for myself. 0:16:41.560 --> 0:16:47.160 I choose Okay. This is great because I think there 0:16:47.160 --> 0:16:50.760 are little things. I think you have to choose yourself 0:16:51.440 --> 0:16:55.720 at times, many times in the day, little things I 0:16:55.800 --> 0:16:58.600 really do I'm going to take this more for myself. 0:16:59.440 --> 0:17:02.160 They're the big ones. But I think every day you 0:17:02.320 --> 0:17:04.520 have to You have to choose yourself, even if you 0:17:04.560 --> 0:17:06.679 have kids, even if you're busy, even if you're you know, 0:17:06.720 --> 0:17:09.720 in a workplace. There are the moments where you're choosing 0:17:09.760 --> 0:17:13.040 you every day. You have to find that, you know. 0:17:13.720 --> 0:17:19.160 I think my big choose me moment was probably in November. 0:17:20.160 --> 0:17:24.400 I go on these big fishing trips. Ten days I'm 0:17:24.400 --> 0:17:26.439 out to see you can barely get a hold of 0:17:26.480 --> 0:17:28.680 me and leave out of San Diego. I'm on a boat. 0:17:28.720 --> 0:17:30.200 Don't get off the boat near in the middle of 0:17:30.240 --> 0:17:34.320 the ocean, just catching tuna and with the twenty eight people, 0:17:34.600 --> 0:17:37.400 you know, random people who now I know after being 0:17:37.440 --> 0:17:41.760 on this specific trip. And again, Aaron's amazing and she 0:17:41.840 --> 0:17:44.680 knows it's a passion of mine. But you know, I'm 0:17:44.800 --> 0:17:47.160 choosing that this is something that I need to do. 0:17:47.280 --> 0:17:51.880 It's personal. I love it, it's cleansing. It's the most as 0:17:51.880 --> 0:17:54.639 cathartic as you can get in the middle of the ocean, 0:17:54.720 --> 0:17:58.119 doing what I love to do and just separating, you know. 0:17:58.600 --> 0:18:01.119 So that was my last like choose me moment. And 0:18:01.119 --> 0:18:03.359 I'm gone for ten plus days, and it's it's a 0:18:03.359 --> 0:18:05.080 long time to be away from the family when I'm 0:18:05.119 --> 0:18:08.840 not working, and you know, I do it all well, 0:18:08.880 --> 0:18:10.000 it fills you up here. 0:18:10.119 --> 0:18:11.919 Oh my gosh, yeah. 0:18:12.280 --> 0:18:14.840 One hundred percent. And then her, she has hers too. 0:18:14.920 --> 0:18:18.080 You know, she's big on her friends, and she goes 0:18:18.200 --> 0:18:21.320 to sleepovers, you know, for two or three nights and 0:18:21.320 --> 0:18:23.359 I'm with the kids, or you know, she just did 0:18:23.400 --> 0:18:24.879 a whole trip to New York with all of her 0:18:24.880 --> 0:18:29.119 girlfriends for four nights, you know, and you know, I 0:18:29.119 --> 0:18:32.879 think relating it to relationships, you have to let your 0:18:32.920 --> 0:18:35.960 partner have those choose me moments whenever the hell they want, 0:18:36.200 --> 0:18:36.399 you know. 0:18:37.119 --> 0:18:38.960 Yeah, I've learned that kind of the hard way. I 0:18:39.040 --> 0:18:41.480 used to be like I felt left out. I don't 0:18:41.480 --> 0:18:44.240 know if that's jealousy. I felt. I would feel left out, 0:18:44.640 --> 0:18:48.320 I would feel like unincluded, like you know, I had 0:18:48.359 --> 0:18:52.000 all those very unhelpful feelings. And then something just sort 0:18:52.040 --> 0:18:54.800 of changed where I was like, Okay, you are your 0:18:54.800 --> 0:18:57.560 own person. You have your own needs, and I have 0:18:57.640 --> 0:19:00.240 my own needs, and there's nothing wrong with each of 0:19:00.280 --> 0:19:03.160 us having the things that you know, fill us up 0:19:03.320 --> 0:19:04.760 and they don't. They're not always going to be the 0:19:04.800 --> 0:19:08.080 same things. Of course, of course we're different people. 0:19:08.680 --> 0:19:12.919 Yeah, one pillar, that codependency. That one. If you're going 0:19:12.960 --> 0:19:16.920 to hold up a big stone, you know, slab, one 0:19:17.000 --> 0:19:20.600 pillar right there's going to be effected, the wind might blow. 0:19:20.640 --> 0:19:22.639 That ship is much easier, it's easier, going to be 0:19:22.640 --> 0:19:26.280 easier to tip. And that's the codependency. If you've got two, 0:19:27.240 --> 0:19:29.600 that ship is going to stand strong, you know what 0:19:29.600 --> 0:19:33.879 I mean, whether that's family, relationship, whatever it is. You know, 0:19:33.960 --> 0:19:36.800 that's why you need to have separate lives. You need 0:19:36.840 --> 0:19:42.240 to have dependent and relationships independent of each other gets 0:19:42.280 --> 0:19:45.760 way too messy. And I've seen it so much with 0:19:46.040 --> 0:19:49.440 friends or it's like a dear but what it's up, 0:19:49.640 --> 0:19:51.320 you know, like you need to have your own ship. 0:19:51.440 --> 0:19:54.520 I mean it's so important and refreshing and you know 0:19:55.520 --> 0:19:56.480 it's energizing. 0:19:59.280 --> 0:20:02.560 Chelsea Hand. I know you've worked so hard this year. 0:20:03.240 --> 0:20:06.520 How have you learned to choose yourself anytime? 0:20:06.800 --> 0:20:09.879 Now that I'm resistant towards anything, I just go for it. 0:20:09.960 --> 0:20:11.160 I'm like, oh, yes, you have. 0:20:11.119 --> 0:20:11.560 To do it. 0:20:11.760 --> 0:20:15.480 Like I'm really bad at dancing, and I'm decided I'm 0:20:15.520 --> 0:20:16.479 just going to start dancing. 0:20:16.600 --> 0:20:17.760 I'm very self conscious. 0:20:17.800 --> 0:20:19.359 I know I'm a bad dancer, and i feel like 0:20:19.359 --> 0:20:20.919 everyone's staring at me, and I'm like, you know what, 0:20:21.040 --> 0:20:23.320 this is good. You're going to start dancing at fifty 0:20:23.400 --> 0:20:24.560 and it doesn't matter. 0:20:24.359 --> 0:20:26.639 That you were kind of dancing just like solo dancing, 0:20:26.720 --> 0:20:27.359 any dancing. 0:20:27.400 --> 0:20:29.119 Like I can't even dance to a beat, like at 0:20:29.160 --> 0:20:32.800 the tailor shoone, like just go two step and you 0:20:32.840 --> 0:20:33.639 feel like you. 0:20:33.520 --> 0:20:36.840 Want to dance, but you hold yourself back because it's 0:20:36.840 --> 0:20:38.199 not nobody needs to see that. 0:20:38.720 --> 0:20:42.320 Yes, yeah, totally like self conscious It's like, my self 0:20:42.320 --> 0:20:44.720 conscious thing is my dancing, and. 0:20:44.680 --> 0:20:47.320 You should be free to just dance. I'm happy you 0:20:47.320 --> 0:20:49.400