Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,
Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
Speaker 1: tip is to make your expectations and needs explicit. In
Speaker 1: other words, don't just drop hints. We've all found ourselves
Speaker 1: disappointed because someone didn't live up to our expectations, only
Speaker 1: to realize later that the other person had not actually
Speaker 1: understood our expectations or realized that we needed help. Whether
Speaker 1: it's assuming that your team member will let you know
Speaker 1: in advance if he's not going to meet an important deadline,
Speaker 1: or that your partner will send flowers on your anniversary.
Speaker 1: We're taking a risk if we have strongly held expectations
Speaker 1: for someone's behavior but don't let the person know about them.
Speaker 1: Other people simply cannot read our minds, and we waste
Speaker 1: all kinds of time behaving as though they can, and
Speaker 1: then recovering from the disappointment or dropped balls when it
Speaker 1: turns out they can't. The only solution to this is
Speaker 1: to stop dropping hints. When you want something. Everyone is
Speaker 1: better off if you just say it. Well. Easier said
Speaker 1: than done, of course, sometimes people feel awkward asking for
Speaker 1: help or stating their hopes or expectations directly. Does it
Speaker 1: sound pushy? Is it insulting to suggest someone wouldn't know
Speaker 1: that you like meetings to start on time, or that
Speaker 1: you expect the person who finishes the paper towel roll
Speaker 1: will replace it. But if we beat around the bush
Speaker 1: and drop hints, other people may misunderstand what we mean
Speaker 1: and the results may not be what we intend. So
Speaker 1: here are some ways to raise issues directly. Think clear
Speaker 1: collaborative congenial. That means using direct language, assuming that you
Speaker 1: and the other person are mutually focused on good outcomes
Speaker 1: and keeping the tone positive and friendly. Since on deadlines,
Speaker 1: you could say I'm counting on being able to review
Speaker 1: your report Monday afternoon. That's the time I've carved out
Speaker 1: to work on this because I'm attending a conference later
Speaker 1: in the week. If you foresee a problem getting their
Speaker 1: report to me by lunchtime on Monday, please let me
Speaker 1: know in advance. Or for household expectations, I would really
Speaker 1: appreciate it if you change the sheets and took out
Speaker 1: the trash the last day your house sitting because we'll
Speaker 1: be getting home late. Would that be doable? Or when
Speaker 1: you're asking for affection and support from family and friends.
Speaker 1: Next Tuesday is my birthday. I'd love to celebrate it
Speaker 1: with you. I was thinking a small group of us
Speaker 1: would have lunch at the sushi place near my office,
Speaker 1: but I'm open to other suggestions. The general approach should
Speaker 1: be to share the hope, expectation, or need and then
Speaker 1: invite the other person to give a thumbs up or
Speaker 1: weigh In. That way, you're not assuming anything. Instead, you're
Speaker 1: sharing your expectations in a way that gives the other
Speaker 1: person the chance to confirm that these expectations are shared,
Speaker 1: or to suggest a different plan that's not pushy instead.
Speaker 1: This approach greatly increases the chances that your needs are met.
Speaker 1: It's hard to see the downside in that. So today,
Speaker 1: if you find yourself hoping that someone will do something,
Speaker 1: why not stop and ask the person directly. Save the
Speaker 1: mind reading for carnivals and everyone will be better off
Speaker 1: in the meantime. This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and
Speaker 1: here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,
Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you. You can send me
Speaker 1: your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with
Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod.
Speaker 1: That's b E. The number four, then Breakfast pod. You
Speaker 1: can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast podcast
Speaker 1: at iHeartMedia that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all
Speaker 1: the letters. Thanks so much. Should I look forward to
Speaker 1: staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartRadio.
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