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Speaker 1: Welcome to Reasonably Shady, a production of The Black Effect

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Speaker 1: Podcast Network and I Heart Radio. Welcome to another episode

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Speaker 1: of Reasonably Shady. I am Gazelle Bryant. What's up? What's up? Everyone?

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Speaker 1: This is Robin Dixon. Thank you once again for listening

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Speaker 1: to s Yes, I love when people listen because it

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Speaker 1: allows us to know that we're not just talking to

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Speaker 1: ourselves for no reason. But you know what, even if

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Speaker 1: they didn't listen, at least we get to talk to

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Speaker 1: each other's. Yeah, that is true. That's true. Okay, true

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Speaker 1: to form. It's time for a reasonably shady moment. Of course,

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Speaker 1: m M. My reasonably shady moment kind of taps into

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Speaker 1: what we talked about a couple of weeks ago, a

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Speaker 1: group text messages, because this just happened to me yesterday. Okay,

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Speaker 1: And I think I didn't say this when I talked

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Speaker 1: about how I hate Group Texas. This is why I

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Speaker 1: hate them. And this continues to happen to me to

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Speaker 1: the point where I'm just I just want to throw

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Speaker 1: my phone in the toilet. Okay. So there's a there's

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Speaker 1: a small group text. It's just like me and three

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Speaker 1: other ladies, and I don't like when people ask me

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Speaker 1: direct questions on the group text like Giselle blah blah blah, Like,

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Speaker 1: no direct questions are individual text messages because the answer

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Speaker 1: to the question that you've asked me, I don't that

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Speaker 1: ain't nothing their business. Yeah, the other girl on it,

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Speaker 1: it ain't her business. Actually I don't like that, hope.

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Speaker 1: So I'm just saying, this is why I hate group Texas,

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Speaker 1: because you're you're calling me out and I'm not gonna

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Speaker 1: answer you in the group right. Yeah, that's that is

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Speaker 1: kind of weird when it is a topic that only

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Speaker 1: relates to you tube like why text in the group

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Speaker 1: text exactly? So, and she doesn't know how I really

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Speaker 1: don't like one of the other girls. So maybe it's

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Speaker 1: my fault because I haven't shared that because I've just

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Speaker 1: been keeping that to myself. So I need to say

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Speaker 1: I need to go on an individual text and say

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Speaker 1: I'm not fooling with that whole So I'm gonna answer

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Speaker 1: this individually. Yeah, definitely answer it directly to that person.

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Speaker 1: But do you also so there's four total? Yeah, so

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Speaker 1: then do you just create another group chat with just

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Speaker 1: the three y'all? I I hate groom tact, so I

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Speaker 1: just I just want to get off of it. Just

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Speaker 1: talk to me individually. Okay, yeah, I feel you. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know what this reminds me. Um, I'm about to

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Speaker 1: go off on a tangent. But you remember the issue

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Speaker 1: that we have with the Instagram posts, which one how

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Speaker 1: like we keep seeing like random people's posts. So someone

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Speaker 1: replied to um on the reason with shady page. They

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Speaker 1: told us like, so when you press the little x,

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Speaker 1: it actually there's a option where it says snooze all

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Speaker 1: suggested post for thirty days that Okay, I'm gonna do that.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna do that, And it feels so stupid because

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Speaker 1: it's been there the whole time. I was always just

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Speaker 1: like like, don't you know clicking the one where it's like,

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Speaker 1: don't suggest post from this person, not doing the other part.

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Speaker 1: Shout out to that person, shout out to that. But

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Speaker 1: I have a confession to make. So because I haven't

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Speaker 1: clicked it, I've been getting because I don't follow Maverick City.

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Speaker 1: Maverick City is like I think a gospel group whatever

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Speaker 1: it's Kirk Franklin has something to do with it. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: every now and again, Maverick City will pop up and

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Speaker 1: they'd be like a gospel song and it's just when

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Speaker 1: I need some Jesus. So I'm excited about it, right, Yes,

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Speaker 1: I need some Jesus. That doesn't scare you, Like, wait

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Speaker 1: a minute, how did you know I needed Jesus right

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Speaker 1: this moment? Well, normally I need Jesus on a regulars.

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Speaker 1: All right, what's the shady moment? So my shady moment

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Speaker 1: is happening live in real time, y'all. My internet is

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Speaker 1: not working in my house. Yes, it's a struggle bus.

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Speaker 1: And it's not an issue of turn your router off

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Speaker 1: and turn it back on. Like we've literally done that

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Speaker 1: like fifteen times, and like last night, so summertime, like

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Speaker 1: my kids stay up all night. They're waking me up

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Speaker 1: at one in the morning. Mom, the internet doesn't work

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Speaker 1: because they're playing the video game. They got kicked off

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Speaker 1: the video game and just randomly the internet stopped working

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Speaker 1: at one in the morning. So it's like I can't

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Speaker 1: even tell you why that would have happened. It's a mystery.

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Speaker 1: So now to the point where like it's like, you know,

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Speaker 1: we've been at Walmas on the phone with like technical support.

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Speaker 1: They couldn't solve it. From the phone. Someone has to

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Speaker 1: come out like who has time? Who? Wh and can

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Speaker 1: you like when my kids think? I don't y'all, it's

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Speaker 1: twelve three and my kids still sleep when they wake

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Speaker 1: up and they see that they don't have internet. Okay,

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Speaker 1: we'n pause. It's twelve thirty in the afternoon. Guys, why

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Speaker 1: your kids still sleep? Because they're growing. Boys, they're growing

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Speaker 1: growing your sleep. Okay, so we forget breakfast. We we

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Speaker 1: damn never forget lunch. We passed lunch time. But you

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Speaker 1: grow in your sleep, right Listen, I'm telling you these

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Speaker 1: teenage boys, they can sleep. Corey literally I think one

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Speaker 1: time slept like sixteen hours straight at I make no

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Speaker 1: damn sense because my girls be up now. I kind

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Speaker 1: of wake him up, like like, Hi, play with me,

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Speaker 1: remember me, I'm here, it's me, Termine. What are you

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Speaker 1: doing today? Stop had stop hating because you have boys? Okay,

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Speaker 1: stop Haydan All right now listen, I do want to

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Speaker 1: I do want to um because by the time this airs,

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Speaker 1: Black Effect is having a podcast festival and you need

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Speaker 1: and you know, reasonably shady of course we'll be showing

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Speaker 1: up and showing out, but you need to get your ticket. Yes,

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Speaker 1: get your ticks, So definitely either go to the Black

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Speaker 1: Effect page on Instagram or go to reason Shady page.

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Speaker 1: Go somewhere and get your tickets so you can be

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Speaker 1: there with us. It's I believe August is in Brooklyn

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Speaker 1: and New York and Reasonably Shady will be all over

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Speaker 1: it and we will be in the building with other

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Speaker 1: Black Effects. Yes, podcasts amazing ones, horrible, decisions are decisions

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Speaker 1: are girls. They'll be there. We'll be there. So it's

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Speaker 1: gonna be a good time, y'all. So definitely you want

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Speaker 1: to check that out. But you know, today's podcast is

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Speaker 1: all about friendship. We love this topic. This is like

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Speaker 1: a topic that you can just talk about forever and

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Speaker 1: ever and ever you can you can't. But before we

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Speaker 1: get into it, I do want to say a couple

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Speaker 1: of things that have been happening in the world that

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Speaker 1: we didn't talk about the last time, because you know,

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Speaker 1: last time it was the fourth of July. So I

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Speaker 1: do want to give a little shout out to the

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Speaker 1: b ET Awards. Happened okay a little while ago, and

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Speaker 1: Robin missed the whole damn thing. I am, I am,

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Speaker 1: I have officially aged out of the I know, but

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Speaker 1: you know I did too. However, my little sister, her

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Speaker 1: name is Latto. Everybody says she, you know, we look alike.

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Speaker 1: She won. She's like the new artist of the year. Okay.

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Speaker 1: So she gave a little speech, and her speech she

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Speaker 1: was crying and she was like, you know, y'all didn't

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Speaker 1: think I could do this, but I could do this,

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Speaker 1: and I got this the first award I've ever gotten

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Speaker 1: from my people, and I'm so excited and thank you, Giselle,

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Speaker 1: and blah blah. Okay, fine, she didn't think but she

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Speaker 1: is like a little cute pot and I just want

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Speaker 1: to congratulate her publicly. Oh that's sweet, yes, very sweet. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we're not related to y'all, but she, you know, everybody

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Speaker 1: says she looked like my little SIPs. Very cute. It's

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Speaker 1: giving about fit. Thank you guys, thank you Mom. I

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Speaker 1: know you're watching. Oh, thank you to my tea. I'm

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Speaker 1: like and and um, before we moved further because this

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Speaker 1: this interested me. Okay, So we also want to talk

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Speaker 1: about the fact that R. Kelly. You got thirty years, sir,

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Speaker 1: and I'm so happy about it. So if you got

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Speaker 1: thirty years in your how old is R Kelly probably good.

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Speaker 1: So that brings you to what two about eight, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's where you need to be for the rest of

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Speaker 1: your life. And you have charges pending in other cities,

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Speaker 1: so I hope they get you on that too. They

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Speaker 1: just added on okay, because we don't never need to

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Speaker 1: see you out, I know. And you know, it's a

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Speaker 1: damn shame it took this long. It's actually a damn

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Speaker 1: shame that it took a documentary to make this happen,

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Speaker 1: like a picture this If that documentary did not air,

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Speaker 1: it was not made, he would still be doing this

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Speaker 1: ship he should be doing it for a very long time.

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Speaker 1: And I like, I just feel so bad for the

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Speaker 1: young ladies who have to deal with the you know,

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Speaker 1: the memories and the are he ruined families? He ruining

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Speaker 1: hundreds of families lives like they have to deal with

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Speaker 1: that for the rest of their life. So I almost

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Speaker 1: think thirties not enough. It's not And and let's keep

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Speaker 1: in mind that this went on so long because these

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Speaker 1: were black girls and don't nobody care about us. But finally,

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Speaker 1: you know, due to the documentary, this man is getting

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Speaker 1: thirty years today. Hopefully they'll add more years to him.

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Speaker 1: Sir okay, but I want to I want to first

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Speaker 1: talk about We're gonna we're going to get into talking

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Speaker 1: about friendships by first talking about Drake, okay, because I

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Speaker 1: have decided Drake don't have no friends. Okay, he he

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Speaker 1: has no friends tat all, no friends. No. So I

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Speaker 1: was on the Instagram and when I was there, I

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Speaker 1: saw a little video of Drake in the club dancing, okay,

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Speaker 1: and it was the Goofy is non dance I've ever seen.

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Speaker 1: It was like a two step of four step, a

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Speaker 1: six step goofy dance. Yeah, but see I am goofy okay,

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Speaker 1: and maybe he is. No, he's Mr Swamp to see

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Speaker 1: this video. The video was terrible, okay, but all his

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Speaker 1: friends around him were like tapping him up, like yeah, Drake,

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Speaker 1: do it, Drake, Drake, Drake Drake. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: you look goofy, You look goofy. You don't have no friends.

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Speaker 1: I am convinced you're just a Drake hater. I am, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I know, question about it. I think his fans know

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Speaker 1: he can't dance, they know he's goofy, they know he's like,

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Speaker 1: you know, a little goofy boy from Toronto, and none

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Speaker 1: of them care because he's uber duber Rich Megan music

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Speaker 1: making all this little dance music that people are gonna

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Speaker 1: play at the pool of Miami, and he's because they're

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Speaker 1: gonna plays his new stuff. They're gonna play that nowhere else. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they're playing the pool with them in Miami or like

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Speaker 1: somewhearing the Beza or something. But he was smart actually

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Speaker 1: making that that album because dance music. Yes, it's huge.

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Speaker 1: It's really big, especially in Europe. So so although like

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Speaker 1: you know, our people not feeling it. Oh, the people overseas,

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Speaker 1: they're gonna listen to it. They're gonna play the album

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Speaker 1: on repeats, yes, all up and through because it's all

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Speaker 1: one song exactly. Yeah, it is all one song. It

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Speaker 1: literally is like I mean, it all sounds the same.

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Speaker 1: But he was smart with it. He really was. Even

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Speaker 1: though people don't like it, he was smart we think

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Speaker 1: Do we think he was smart? Yes? You know how

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Speaker 1: much money don't eat m and dance dance music DJs make.

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Speaker 1: He's going to make a lot of money just that.

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Speaker 1: I just want to everybody trash. I just wanted Drake

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Speaker 1: to go away, but he since he ain't going away.

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Speaker 1: Drake is is borderline for me almost to the Kanye mode,

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Speaker 1: meaning this is the last time we're talking about Drake,

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Speaker 1: because you know, we don't talk about Kanye anymore, friendship

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Speaker 1: might break up. I'm just letting you know that right now. Okay, okay, fine,

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Speaker 1: we're talking about I mean, we're gonna talk about him

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Speaker 1: three more times and we're done. I'm gonna put him

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Speaker 1: in the Kanye buckets. Speaking of friendship, okay. So, and

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Speaker 1: we kind of touched on it a little bit. So

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Speaker 1: if if you're with a group of girlfriends and let's

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Speaker 1: say Robin you're not there and all of the group

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Speaker 1: is trashing Robin Dixon, Oh my gosh. First of all,

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna allow that to happen, right Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, definitely not. I'm shutting it all my down.

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Speaker 1: But if they did get some snippets out, some hate

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Speaker 1: duration out before I was able to shut it down,

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Speaker 1: do I immediately tell you you better? Okay, So you

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Speaker 1: immediately tell the person, yeah, because like I'm thinking about it,

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Speaker 1: like it's kind of okay, it's gosh, it's like you

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Speaker 1: you almost have to wonder, like, okay, the dynamics of

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Speaker 1: the friendship, like who's closer with who, and who's saying what?

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Speaker 1: But you know, when you put it on a level like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: if it was a group of friends and it was

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Speaker 1: you and I and somebody was trashing you, then yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, we're gonna talk and you're gonna be like, hey, girl,

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Speaker 1: how is the party? I'm like, girl, the party is

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Speaker 1: all right. But let me tell you immediately what mary

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Speaker 1: Sue said about you. Okay, but let's say it's one

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Speaker 1: of the girlfriends that's not necessarily as close to you

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Speaker 1: and they were they were trashing this particular girlfriend. Do

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Speaker 1: you then call her on the phone and say, hey girl,

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Speaker 1: let me tell you what went down last night? Or

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Speaker 1: do you just like let it ride? So if I'm

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Speaker 1: not that close with them, yeah, yeah, I'm probably staying

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Speaker 1: out of it. You're staying out, You're just gonna let

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Speaker 1: it RIDEE. Does that make you less of a friend? Um?

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Speaker 1: I don't think so, because I think it's WoT. I

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Speaker 1: feel like, no, it doesn't make you less of a friend.

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Speaker 1: But I feel like if you were to tell that friend,

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Speaker 1: then maybe makes you more of a friend. Do you

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Speaker 1: know what I'm saying? So if you say nothing, you

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Speaker 1: just you just level out exactly exactly, but I would

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Speaker 1: expect you know, on the on first of all, yes,

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Speaker 1: if some if we're if we're if I'm not there

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Speaker 1: and someone's talking about me, like, oh, I'm pretty sure

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Speaker 1: you're gonna shut it down there immediately, like you're gonna

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Speaker 1: speak up, You're gonna be like, we ain't doing this,

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Speaker 1: that's not what we're doing, right exactly. Yeah, Okay, Now

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Speaker 1: this is another question. So if if we're talking about

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Speaker 1: if there's a group of girls that says five of

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Speaker 1: us and we're and one person starts talking about a

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Speaker 1: woman a lady that's not there, and then three of

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Speaker 1: us chime in to co sign the drag nation of

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Speaker 1: it all like let's let's let's say we co sign

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Speaker 1: and what is being said? Are we wrong for co sign?

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Speaker 1: And what is being said because we didn't bring it up,

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Speaker 1: We just co signed it as it was coming out

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Speaker 1: somebody else's mouth. A very good question, you know what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying, Like, it's this really gossip. It's hard because

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Speaker 1: it's like if it's if it's like true, or if

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Speaker 1: people can co sign it and you're like really friends,

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Speaker 1: then this is it's it is really hard, um because

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Speaker 1: this because I feel like this should be entitled what

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Speaker 1: the F Not to do? If you are in a

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Speaker 1: friendship with a group of girls. Okay, so if one

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Speaker 1: if if there's a girlfriend that's not there and somebody

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Speaker 1: else who's who's at the table is spilling her beans

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Speaker 1: and telling all her business and everybody else at the

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Speaker 1: table agrees. Is everybody else at the table wrong? Oh god,

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Speaker 1: it's so hard I kind of say no. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: say no as well, because she just depends, all right.

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Speaker 1: So so clearly the person that's like spilling the beans

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Speaker 1: has you know, has it out for that person, right,

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Speaker 1: And but if that, but if they are saying something

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Speaker 1: that's true, the other people sitting there, like I can't

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Speaker 1: sit there, shouldn't sit there and be like I don't

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Speaker 1: know what you're talking about? Right, right, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean? But it's like that one person opened the

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Speaker 1: can of worms. This this is true. Um, it's just

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Speaker 1: but maybe she's just maybe as a friend, you should

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Speaker 1: just kind of like stay out of it. Yeah, I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's just hard because like when you have a group

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Speaker 1: of friends, not everyone has the same level of friendship

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Speaker 1: with each other. So so yeah, it's like it's hard

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Speaker 1: to stay out of it, and I'm so shady. I

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Speaker 1: want to be in it exactly, and you want to

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Speaker 1: know like what's being said, So yes, tell me more

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Speaker 1: and then give me the facts. Run it down, right,

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Speaker 1: So it's better just to be like, tell me more,

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Speaker 1: but not to like say anything in reply. Yeah, okay, okay, Okay.

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Speaker 1: So that's what she should do. You should not necessarily

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Speaker 1: you should get all the information, but don't chime in exactly.

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Speaker 1: That is what you should give me the t Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I got nothing to say in response. I got

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Speaker 1: nothing to say in response. Okay. So let's say you

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Speaker 1: had a girlfriend and she's going through a divorce, right,

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Speaker 1: and the divorce isn't final, they're just going through the divorce.

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Speaker 1: And the guy she's divorcing is around town on dates

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Speaker 1: and we see that happening. Do we tell our girlfriend

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Speaker 1: that he's going that he's around town on dates? Do

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Speaker 1: we stay out of it? Do we add field to

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Speaker 1: the fire and let her know? What? Do we do? Yes,

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Speaker 1: we definitely tell her. Why do we tell her? Does

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Speaker 1: she care that going through a divorce? I mean, why

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Speaker 1: wouldn't you tell her? I feel like, and so it's hard.

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Speaker 1: I feel like My question is when people are going

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Speaker 1: through a divorce as their friend. Is it better to say,

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Speaker 1: all right, girl, we well, we're gonna get you out

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Speaker 1: in the streets, We're gonna find you somebody to date.

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Speaker 1: Or is it like you know what like for me, Like, okay,

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Speaker 1: I believe in um, you know, trying to keep marriages together,

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Speaker 1: trying to keep families together. Like, so I'm not gonna

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Speaker 1: be like so quick to be like our girl, let's

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Speaker 1: get you out. So it's like, when do you bring

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Speaker 1: you When do you kind of encourage your separated friend

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Speaker 1: who's going through divorce not yet divorce, to actually like

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Speaker 1: go out. Okay, So this is what I would do.

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Speaker 1: I don't I don't know the answer to that question.

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Speaker 1: Oh wait, man, as soon she tells me she's getting

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Speaker 1: a divorce, it's on it popping. I'm immediately trying to

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Speaker 1: set you up with other people, no question, not saying

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Speaker 1: I just feel like I would wait until the divorce's final.

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Speaker 1: Nah nah, because you're like done. If you're getting a divorce,

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Speaker 1: and if you have it in your in your spirit

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Speaker 1: and you didn't call it an attorney, then you want

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Speaker 1: to be out. But there's always a chance of reconciliation.

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Speaker 1: So reconcile after you didn't sat on a couple of penuts.

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Speaker 1: That's that's when you reconcile. You got in. I guess

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Speaker 1: it depends, Like I guess, I feel like if I

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Speaker 1: think you know it's worth saving this marriage, Like if

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Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, y'all divorcing for like silly reasons you

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Speaker 1: got kids or whatever, Like I'm not ready to throw

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Speaker 1: you into the streets. Okay, I'm ready to throw you

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Speaker 1: into the streets now because you want them to join you.

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Speaker 1: I mean, yes, I want company in the streets. Okay,

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Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with that. Okay, I'm gonna trying to

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Speaker 1: keep your marriage. I'm trying to save it. Okay. So basically,

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Speaker 1: Robin is saying what you're not supposed to effing do

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Speaker 1: is what I just said. However, um let's let's say that, uh,

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Speaker 1: you you're you're going through your divorce or whatever. Your

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Speaker 1: husband's out here in these streets, he's on dates. I

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Speaker 1: want you to know, I'm the girl that's gonna take

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Speaker 1: two pictures and the videos and I'm going to send

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Speaker 1: them to you, right Okay, it's as you might need

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Speaker 1: them in your in your like divorce settlement okay, okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: I thought you're gonna tell me no I should I

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Speaker 1: should stay out of it. No, no, no, yeah, take

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Speaker 1: two pictures tell me whatever. You know what I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: like if if I don't, I feel like because you

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Speaker 1: just never know when people agree to divorce, you never

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Speaker 1: know if they actually going to go through with it

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Speaker 1: or or you know, if it turns contentious or whatever,

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Speaker 1: if it's a bunc he says, she say all that

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Speaker 1: type of stuff, like, yeah, let's tell them, tell your friends,

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Speaker 1: Oh I saw your man whatever, your ex husband. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I believe in in in the cheating situations, unless you

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Speaker 1: have receipts, they didn't cheat. I could because this is

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Speaker 1: this is how I feel because like if you say, oh,

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Speaker 1: just that I saw your dude walking down the street

360
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:07,040
Speaker 1: holding hands with somebody, unless you gotta picture that it

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Speaker 1: didn't happen or the street or that's what they say.

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Speaker 1: They said, they said they saw you walking down the street.

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Speaker 1: That's what. Who the hell is they? Right? So unless

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Speaker 1: you can tell me who they is, unless they have

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Speaker 1: some sort of video footage, then don't come to me

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Speaker 1: with this because you don't have no receipts. So you're

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Speaker 1: making a sen and then only have to be like

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Speaker 1: she lying, that wasn't me right in the story. Right,

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Speaker 1: Because if you go to your dude and you're like,

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Speaker 1: did you were you walking there the street told her

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Speaker 1: hands with somebody, He's gonna be like, we're no res. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he's gonna be like, no, that won't me. That was

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Speaker 1: another black man that looked like me. Next, and then

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Speaker 1: and then you have nothing to back that up, and

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Speaker 1: then you look stupid. Right, Yeah, So unless you have receipts, ladies,

376
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Speaker 1: then keep it to yourself. I agree. Let's let's talk

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Speaker 1: about sensitive issues, sensitive topics. Because you know, we're women.

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Speaker 1: We have like scares, health scares, We've got, um, you know,

379
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:06,080
Speaker 1: our hair has fallen out, we have ingrown tone nails.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. We have stuff that happens and to

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Speaker 1: us that's sensitive to us. Um are we sharing that

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Speaker 1: with our girlfriends? Do we share that information? Do we

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00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:17,760
Speaker 1: keep that to ourselves? I mean, it depends on what

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Speaker 1: it is. I think, Gosh, I think there's like a

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Speaker 1: time and a place for which you share. And you know, well,

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00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,840
Speaker 1: first of all, I'm sure people you share stuff with

387
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Speaker 1: your like closest girlfriend the way you talked to all

388
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:33,399
Speaker 1: the time, right, but like do you share it with

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Speaker 1: the group all at once? And like what is it?

390
00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:39,240
Speaker 1: So what are we talking about? Like, okay, because you

391
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:43,080
Speaker 1: have differently Okay, I'm pregnant. No, no, let's let's say

392
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Speaker 1: you have a tumor. Okay, under underneath your arm pit?

393
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:49,479
Speaker 1: God forbid. I mean, I don't know if that ever happens.

394
00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:51,399
Speaker 1: But let's but you're not really sure whether or not

395
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:53,680
Speaker 1: it's a tumor. You're just going through the process with

396
00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:56,640
Speaker 1: the doctors. Do you come to a group of girlfriends

397
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,439
Speaker 1: and then do you share this information? Because if you

398
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:01,760
Speaker 1: share this information is really nothing to it, Like, there's

399
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:04,439
Speaker 1: nothing really wrong with you. Don't you just look like

400
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,159
Speaker 1: a person that's like, look at me, look at me.

401
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,200
Speaker 1: It's nothing wrong with you if you have a tum

402
00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:10,840
Speaker 1: no I'm saying. I'm saying if the doctor says, it's

403
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:13,399
Speaker 1: just fat, right, the doctor, you thought it was a tumor,

404
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:17,760
Speaker 1: it's just fat. Girl. You you ate too much, So

405
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:21,159
Speaker 1: you know, you're basically sharing a lot of information with

406
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:27,240
Speaker 1: a group of girls that might not care. I mean, okay,

407
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:30,640
Speaker 1: I feel like, as women, there's nothing wrong with sharing

408
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:34,800
Speaker 1: our ailments in case someone else can say like, oh,

409
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:36,600
Speaker 1: you know, so if you're like, oh you know, I

410
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:40,440
Speaker 1: got a little lump under my arm, what might that be? Right? Okay,

411
00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:44,640
Speaker 1: you're looking for help, yeah, like advice. But if it's

412
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:48,879
Speaker 1: like if you're like sounding the alarm, you know what

413
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:52,000
Speaker 1: I'm saying. And if you're like, oh my gosh, like

414
00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:54,400
Speaker 1: if you're like jumping the gun, yes, you're jumping the gun.

415
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 1: I think people should wait. I think people should wait.

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00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:02,119
Speaker 1: It's just all abounch of delivery, you know what I'm saying. Okay,

417
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:04,840
Speaker 1: I don't know. This is a really hard question because

418
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Speaker 1: I don't want people to think that they can't share

419
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:11,879
Speaker 1: um things with their friends that are maybe scary, frivolous

420
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:16,120
Speaker 1: or scary. It could be scary or could be just

421
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:18,800
Speaker 1: like ships and giggles. It's really not a thing, and

422
00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:20,640
Speaker 1: you're trying to make it a thing because you want attention.

423
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:23,000
Speaker 1: Could be that, I mean, you could have that, But

424
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,680
Speaker 1: how are we supposed to know his friends? So women,

425
00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:27,399
Speaker 1: so I'm supposed to sit there and sit around and

426
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:31,560
Speaker 1: be like, okay, um, I don't believe you're lying, Like no,

427
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:34,119
Speaker 1: you don't say that, but you think it. Yeah, so

428
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,120
Speaker 1: you just keep it to yourself, but as a friend.

429
00:22:36,119 --> 00:22:38,240
Speaker 1: So okay, so you keep it to yourself that you

430
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:42,440
Speaker 1: don't believe them, or you show like empathy and ask

431
00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:44,600
Speaker 1: more questions. Oh, you're gonna show empathy. We gotta show

432
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:47,080
Speaker 1: we support. But as you drive home after you've had

433
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:48,879
Speaker 1: a conversation with the supposition, you're saying to yourself, this

434
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:53,919
Speaker 1: bitch lying and who cares? Yes, so we're dealing with

435
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:58,359
Speaker 1: a hypochondriacy, just like, Yeah, since a hypochondric or just

436
00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:00,719
Speaker 1: somebody that just wants attention, what do you do? I

437
00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:04,720
Speaker 1: think you should be supportive? Yeah, yeah, I think it's hard.

438
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:06,159
Speaker 1: But I mean if they do a multiple times, you

439
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:07,720
Speaker 1: gotta like call them out on it, you know what

440
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:11,680
Speaker 1: I mean? Yeah, so what's multiple to three? I think

441
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:14,760
Speaker 1: it's hard, Like there's levels to this to this question,

442
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:19,520
Speaker 1: that there's different degrees of severity and you know how

443
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:22,840
Speaker 1: deep is the issue? Okay? All right? I do think

444
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:27,440
Speaker 1: like if someone is going through something a health issue, um,

445
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:29,800
Speaker 1: but you don't really know what it is, but you

446
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:31,000
Speaker 1: want to share it with your friends. I think you

447
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:34,359
Speaker 1: pose it as like this is what I'm experiencing. Does

448
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:43,479
Speaker 1: anyone have experience in this? Okay? I like that. All right,

449
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:46,560
Speaker 1: this is the last friendship question. So let's say it's

450
00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:49,560
Speaker 1: a group of girls. Let's say seven girls, random number,

451
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:53,800
Speaker 1: random number seven, maybe nine nine girls. Okay, so let's

452
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:59,719
Speaker 1: just say there's one you don't give two ships about. Okay,

453
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:04,359
Speaker 1: do you even acknowledge your presence or do you just

454
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:07,879
Speaker 1: talk to the other eight? Because there's nine, you just

455
00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:09,800
Speaker 1: talk to the other eight. So I mean, I believe

456
00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:12,639
Speaker 1: in a in a group that big, you're not going

457
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:14,640
Speaker 1: to be friends with everybody. So let's narrow down a seven.

458
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:18,040
Speaker 1: So seven girls, one you just you care nothing for.

459
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:21,080
Speaker 1: But you don't even say hello? Do you? I'm asking

460
00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:23,400
Speaker 1: that's a question. Do you even you? Do you say hello?

461
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:26,919
Speaker 1: Say hello? Okay, you say hello? But I don't. I

462
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:31,040
Speaker 1: don't really like forced small talk, right, First of all,

463
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:33,880
Speaker 1: I hate small talk. Yeah, I'm like, if we're talking,

464
00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:36,200
Speaker 1: we're talking about something important. Yeah yeah, So if it

465
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,480
Speaker 1: like starts to feel weird, like I don't, I don't want.

466
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:41,760
Speaker 1: I don't think any friendship should be forced. And I

467
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:44,840
Speaker 1: definitely don't think if there's two people that like clearly

468
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:47,520
Speaker 1: don't like each other or don't vibe like, there's no

469
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:50,239
Speaker 1: point in even trying a small talk at all. So

470
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,080
Speaker 1: what if the majority of the group doesn't like her,

471
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:56,480
Speaker 1: I think she should just go and find another group. Well,

472
00:24:56,480 --> 00:25:00,640
Speaker 1: how did she get there? Somebody somebody liked girl? Gonna

473
00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:04,159
Speaker 1: find another group. I don't know she she got in,

474
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:06,840
Speaker 1: I get I don't I don't know. Somebody liked her

475
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:12,000
Speaker 1: at some point. Okay, I mean I don't. You know,

476
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:15,600
Speaker 1: I've had I have multiple friend circles where like friends

477
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:18,680
Speaker 1: come and go, you know, like like literally you start

478
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:22,200
Speaker 1: with one circle, you add some people, somebody falls off.

479
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 1: In a couple of years, they come back and falls off.

480
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:29,080
Speaker 1: So I just think sometimes you just realize, like you

481
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:32,840
Speaker 1: gotta meet people where they are, and you know, just

482
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:39,119
Speaker 1: if you're you know, if everyone can come to the

483
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:42,159
Speaker 1: table with an open mind and the open heart, you know,

484
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,439
Speaker 1: there's always opportunity for that person to be back in.

485
00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:47,480
Speaker 1: I I appreciate that. I appreciate that. I would love

486
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:51,879
Speaker 1: for some of our listeners to give us scenarios of

487
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:55,480
Speaker 1: their girlfriend's circles, because I'm sure we're not the only

488
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:59,639
Speaker 1: one to have girlfriend's circles that are dysfunctional. And you know,

489
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:02,479
Speaker 1: at us, know, if you're feeling like you're the shady one,

490
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:04,880
Speaker 1: in the in the circle, if you feel like it's

491
00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:08,720
Speaker 1: dysfunction in the circle, if you need help navigating the circle,

492
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:11,240
Speaker 1: we're robbing her here to help, right, Yes, yes we

493
00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:13,800
Speaker 1: want to. I mean honestly, like I feel like everybody

494
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:15,199
Speaker 1: can relate to this type of stuff. Like I just

495
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:18,159
Speaker 1: think about like in in Okay, So if you have

496
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:22,119
Speaker 1: a friend group and there's nothing wrong with two or

497
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:25,679
Speaker 1: three people talking amongst themselves about what's going on in

498
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:28,440
Speaker 1: the group either, because I do find sometimes like people

499
00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:32,200
Speaker 1: get mad when they find out, oh songs, so we're

500
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:34,080
Speaker 1: talking about me and blah blah blah blah blah. And

501
00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:37,240
Speaker 1: I'm like, that's just like normal, that's normal. It's normal.

502
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:40,160
Speaker 1: It's human nature for people, not in like a mean way,

503
00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:42,960
Speaker 1: but like, oh, what is going on with her? Yes,

504
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:44,840
Speaker 1: you know, what do we do? Should we talk to her?

505
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,040
Speaker 1: What's the you know, the course of action we should take?

506
00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:50,720
Speaker 1: Or is everything okay? Like so that's what I hate

507
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:54,000
Speaker 1: about friend circles when people fall out because then because

508
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:56,560
Speaker 1: when they find out, like people were talking about you

509
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:59,119
Speaker 1: behind your back, and it's not necessarily in like a

510
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:01,600
Speaker 1: mean way. It's more like this is what's going on

511
00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:04,840
Speaker 1: the way, But if you. If you can't be talked about,

512
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:08,520
Speaker 1: you need to get out the group, right, because that's

513
00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:11,520
Speaker 1: just we're humans. We have nothing else to talk about

514
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:13,240
Speaker 1: but each other, right, Yeah, I mean, so that's what

515
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:15,120
Speaker 1: we're gonna do. Yeah. If if some people think they're

516
00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:18,000
Speaker 1: like too perfect to like even have some sort of

517
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:20,439
Speaker 1: conflict or whatever or disagreement or not be on the

518
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:23,320
Speaker 1: same page, that's a problem. But I think that just

519
00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:27,600
Speaker 1: requires open minds and open hearts. Um. Yeah, but I

520
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:31,000
Speaker 1: don't really expect a group of friends to all be friends,

521
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,760
Speaker 1: like the hop of Like, okay, a group of four, yeah,

522
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:36,160
Speaker 1: y'all should all be friends, right, but like a group

523
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:39,800
Speaker 1: of six, it's a little shanky. Anything over six is

524
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:43,359
Speaker 1: a little shaky somebody. And then you women, Right, so

525
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:49,080
Speaker 1: we're harmoral, hormonal, hormonal, what's the word horror? Horror? Yeah,

526
00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:53,719
Speaker 1: we're her hormonal. I can't say that word. We got issues, right,

527
00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:56,840
Speaker 1: we got issues, and you know, any given day we

528
00:27:56,920 --> 00:27:59,840
Speaker 1: might just pop off, right, But but they don't even

529
00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:01,600
Speaker 1: have to be about popping off. It can just literally

530
00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:05,320
Speaker 1: be about we don't vibe, do you know what I'm saying?

531
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:10,080
Speaker 1: Like I don't find myself communicating with that person or

532
00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:12,040
Speaker 1: having fun with that person, or laughing with that person,

533
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:14,840
Speaker 1: or wanting to spend one on one time with that person. Yes,

534
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:17,399
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like that's it's it's not

535
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:19,600
Speaker 1: even you don't have to fight and argue with that person.

536
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:23,639
Speaker 1: It's okay if y'all just don't vibe whatsoever. Yeah, but

537
00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:26,240
Speaker 1: if you are in a club and you're dancing and

538
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:28,240
Speaker 1: you look goofy, I'm gonna need for your friends to

539
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:31,800
Speaker 1: tell you. That's the bottom line on that, because let

540
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:35,080
Speaker 1: your friend have fun, let your friend live their live

541
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:39,200
Speaker 1: because you're looking crazy, girl, Rob And this has been

542
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:41,320
Speaker 1: many times where you're like, just I'll stop your chicken dance.

543
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:43,520
Speaker 1: Your chicken dances out of control, and you keep doing

544
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:47,600
Speaker 1: so I'm not going to tell you that anymore. Be like,

545
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:52,920
Speaker 1: sek out, Okay, I do. I do like my chicken

546
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:56,800
Speaker 1: my chicken dance, and I do like you know, it's

547
00:28:56,800 --> 00:29:00,080
Speaker 1: hard to surround yourself with people, and it's hard to

548
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:02,880
Speaker 1: meet new people and bring new people into into your

549
00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:06,800
Speaker 1: space and into your life, but I do. For instance,

550
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:08,400
Speaker 1: we do have a girlfriend that was around us a

551
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:11,280
Speaker 1: lot a long time ago, and we didn't see her much,

552
00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:13,800
Speaker 1: and then now she's back into our lives a lot.

553
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:16,480
Speaker 1: I can say her name. I think I can say

554
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:18,240
Speaker 1: her name. Okay, I can't say her name, Taylor, take

555
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:22,120
Speaker 1: that out. But I'm super happy when people come back

556
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 1: into the friends circle that bring value, that bring a

557
00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:34,600
Speaker 1: sense of um stability and class and style, and are

558
00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:36,720
Speaker 1: open to share their lives and are open to be

559
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:39,000
Speaker 1: down for whatever. Like I love that. Yeah, But I

560
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:40,720
Speaker 1: also think it's great when a friend can kind of

561
00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:43,360
Speaker 1: like step away from the group, you know, go through

562
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:47,520
Speaker 1: whatever friendship you know, life challenges they may have, and

563
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:49,719
Speaker 1: then come back when it's time, you know, when they

564
00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:52,640
Speaker 1: feel settled, and the group can be like, hey girl, yeah,

565
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:54,360
Speaker 1: glad you're here. You know what I mean. And and

566
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:58,480
Speaker 1: but that's what friendship. Yes, that's what we can. We

567
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:02,400
Speaker 1: sing Dion song, that's what keep keep listen, y'all better

568
00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:06,160
Speaker 1: keep shying, all right. So definitely Okay, Robin didn't know

569
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:09,160
Speaker 1: it was it was over? Yeah? Are you? Are you done?

570
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:16,520
Speaker 1: That's that's what friends up. She's done, Okay, so good,

571
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:21,720
Speaker 1: and she's to me on your side forever. Keep your

572
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 1: day job, Keep your day job. We would love for

573
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:30,360
Speaker 1: you all to send us scenarios on what's up at

574
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:33,360
Speaker 1: reasonably shady dot com. We love y'all so much. We

575
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:35,160
Speaker 1: thank y'all so much for listening to us over and

576
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:38,320
Speaker 1: over again every week. Don't ever forget to live your life,

577
00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:45,520
Speaker 1: either reasonable or hey do o boat and enjoy your

578
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:48,200
Speaker 1: summer and tell people that you love them. Life is short, y'all.

579
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:51,080
Speaker 1: Tomorrow is not promise. I don't want to talk about that. Okay,

580
00:30:51,120 --> 00:31:04,400
Speaker 1: alright bye, you're right by Yeah. Reasonably Shady is a

581
00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:08,800
Speaker 1: production of the Black Affect podcast Network. For more podcasts

582
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:11,560
Speaker 1: from our heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app,

583
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 1: Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows,

584
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:18,200
Speaker 1: and you can connect with us on social media at

585
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:28,600
Speaker 1: Robin Dixon, ten, Giselle Briant, and Reasonably Shady.