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Speaker 1: Angie Martinez in Real Life Podcast. This episode and conversation

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Speaker 1: is powered by I Do Say Hello Everybody. It is

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Speaker 1: another addition to Angie Martinez IRL. This is Takeaways, our

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Speaker 1: takeaway audio only episodes where we talk about some of

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Speaker 1: our interview episodes and we reflect on what our takeaways

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Speaker 1: were from them and man, this episode, I mean, none

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Speaker 1: of us could have anticipated what Taraji p Henson would share.

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Speaker 1: So if you haven't seen the episode or listen to

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Speaker 1: the full Taragi p episode, I'm just gonna give you

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Speaker 1: a little clip of this part here. I thought I

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Speaker 1: was happy, but the things that I thought I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: get emotional, I don't want to. The things that I

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Speaker 1: thought was making me happy, they don't. They don't cut

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Speaker 1: it anymore. And so I'm in a place where what

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Speaker 1: does that look like? And I'm kind of spinning because

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Speaker 1: I don't know the things that made me happy before,

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Speaker 1: Like you know, when I was going to get married

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Speaker 1: and I didn't workout. It's not that it's not marriage,

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Speaker 1: it's not a man, it's not. So it's for me

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Speaker 1: to tap into find my happiness. And to be quite

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Speaker 1: honest with you, Angie, I haven't been happy like purely

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Speaker 1: happy in a long time. Oh, give me your hand,

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Speaker 1: I haven't. I'm sorry. Oh it was intense, by the way.

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Speaker 1: I'm joined today by Brittany who was my show producer,

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Speaker 1: Ashley dear Young Queen, our digital consultant, and Candice Marie

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Speaker 1: Bembo are one of our favorite journalists. First of all,

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Speaker 1: I love to Argie. She's an icon. She is a

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Speaker 1: legend at this point. Her body of work speaks for itself.

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Speaker 1: So I didn't know what was going to happen when

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Speaker 1: we sat down across from each other. I knew it

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Speaker 1: would be entertaining to Rogie is always entertaining. I didn't know,

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Speaker 1: as her friend, where she was in her life. I

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Speaker 1: didn't know. I mean, I know she had challenges like

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Speaker 1: we all do, but I didn't know that she had

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Speaker 1: planned to share some of them in this way. But

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Speaker 1: I was so grateful for it, especially when I saw

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Speaker 1: the reaction when I especially when I saw how many

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Speaker 1: people needed to hear someone say that, Hey, I'm not

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Speaker 1: that happy right now in my life. Yeah, I'm acknowledging it,

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Speaker 1: and I'm going to do something about it. And there's

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Speaker 1: something even more powerful about seeing someone that you think

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Speaker 1: should be happy. Yeah, admit that they're not happy. Yeah, right,

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Speaker 1: Like it's one thing for me to maybe be at

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Speaker 1: home not happy with my job and my man pissing

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Speaker 1: me off, and maybe rent do that I don't really

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Speaker 1: want to pay. But it's another thing to see somebody

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Speaker 1: who looks like she has it all together, who's not

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Speaker 1: worried about financial responsibilities. Say, no, I got those same

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Speaker 1: worries even when she fed that life is spiritual warfare

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Speaker 1: and that you know, she has to every day fight

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Speaker 1: for her joy. I think so many people could relate

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Speaker 1: to that and maybe never had the language to put

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Speaker 1: it in that kind of frame and framework and terminology,

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Speaker 1: but could be like, yeah, like it is a battle

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Speaker 1: every day to choose happy and and somedays battle exactly. Yeah. No,

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Speaker 1: I love that. I love the freeness and I love

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Speaker 1: that it was She made it feel like it wasn't

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Speaker 1: crazy that she was sharing that. She made it feel like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm not good, but it's okay, and I'm a cry

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Speaker 1: and I'm a cry and angree, do not edit any

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Speaker 1: of this out. Because she's very aware of her gift

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Speaker 1: and her voice, and she's very aware how how she

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Speaker 1: uses it can affect other people, and so um, you know,

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Speaker 1: I admire that and respect that that she was willing

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Speaker 1: to put herself in her own vulnerability out there on

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Speaker 1: the line because she knows that by doing that it

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Speaker 1: will could it could potentially affect other people. And then

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Speaker 1: in fact it did. I saw it, did it really did.

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Speaker 1: I thank you guys. By the way, everybody who's commented

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Speaker 1: and shared don't take for I don't take for granted

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Speaker 1: any of that. You know, sometimes you might see a

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Speaker 1: whole bunch of comments and you think, what is my

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Speaker 1: comment matter? It matters? It does? We read them all.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate them all, and it's not just for us.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes other people who are inside the comments need to

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Speaker 1: know that they're not alone in feeling the things that

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Speaker 1: they're feeling. So as much as you guys share, we

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Speaker 1: don't take any of that for granted. And there was

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Speaker 1: a lot of sharing on this episode. It made it

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Speaker 1: made for me. I saw the community that I ral

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Speaker 1: had episode right. There are a few episodes where you

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Speaker 1: can kind of really see people rally behind the messaging

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Speaker 1: behind it. Kelly Roland was one. This Taragi episode was another.

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Speaker 1: Candice and everything that happened along with that Ashanti episode

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Speaker 1: was another right, there are just some moments where like

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Speaker 1: people need it. This was a moment I think also too.

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Speaker 1: We put it out right before the end of the year,

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Speaker 1: right as everybody was going into the new year. To

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Speaker 1: days are a hard time for a lot of people.

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Speaker 1: It's so funny because you know that was off schedules.

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Speaker 1: It was like, Okay, our episode is not supposed to

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Speaker 1: drop till next week. But something in my spirit was

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Speaker 1: just like, no drop it right now people because people

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Speaker 1: need it, and people that I think they did, they did. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think they did. But then you know, you do

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Speaker 1: that and you don't know you and then so then

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Speaker 1: when people do resonate to it, um, it was nice

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Speaker 1: to see, like you said, the community, the community was present.

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Speaker 1: And then I also think you said it kind of

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Speaker 1: at the beginning of this that you didn't know Taraji

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Speaker 1: was going through that. As a viewer, it was so

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Speaker 1: beautiful to watch your friendship on camera, to see you

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Speaker 1: were learning it as we the viewer was learning it

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Speaker 1: and at the same time trying to be there for

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Speaker 1: your friend. There was a moment where even you were

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Speaker 1: kind of like forget the rest that's going on, Like

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Speaker 1: you need a second and she was like no, yeah,

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Speaker 1: she was like no, I want people to see and

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Speaker 1: it's it's just it restored kind of that faith I

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Speaker 1: think in people that those that we lean on most

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Speaker 1: don't even know our deepest for sure, they don't even

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Speaker 1: know the deepest things of what we're going through. By

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Speaker 1: the way, Nila just walked in Nile Simone, DJ Nil Simone,

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Speaker 1: Young Naila, she actually you loved the Taragi episode. That

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Speaker 1: makes me so happy. I mean, I really liked me.

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Speaker 1: Y'all talked about being your best self versus like being

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Speaker 1: the best, because I feel like that's a conversation that

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Speaker 1: a lot of people have these days on social media.

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Speaker 1: You can be like I'm the best anything. But the

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Speaker 1: way you guys really pulled through that. Yes, and then

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Speaker 1: she said that, um, you gotta be careful who you're worshiping.

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Speaker 1: Let's actually play that clip. I don't want to get

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Speaker 1: it myself in any trouble, but just look at the

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Speaker 1: lives of the people who said I'm the greatest and

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Speaker 1: how it ended. That's all I'm gonna say. God is

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Speaker 1: the greatest. You feel me that God put you here

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Speaker 1: to do his work. Check your ego. I don't strive

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Speaker 1: to be the greatest, because that's serving something else. The

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Speaker 1: humble man knows that God gave him those talents to

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Speaker 1: change and shift the world into a better place. But

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Speaker 1: when you get into me, I, I, I, that's another God. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that was a good one. The real life no, well

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Speaker 1: no pun intended there. That was weird, but the real

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Speaker 1: life story of how like you went on the vacation,

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Speaker 1: you wasn't really feeling like your best self, but at

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Speaker 1: the end you got rejuvenated, and how like sometimes it's

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Speaker 1: cool to just give people their space, like you can

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Speaker 1: still be around them, but not. Yeah, a lot of

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Speaker 1: it's a lot of gyms in there. Is she back

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Speaker 1: from her trip. She is back from her trip. We

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Speaker 1: partied at super Bowl together. She was in great spirits

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Speaker 1: at super Bowl right after Bali. Her trip was amazing,

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Speaker 1: she said. She by the way she looks rejuvenated. It

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Speaker 1: looked like she had just a refreshing time and whatever

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Speaker 1: she needed. And I think what is important and I

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Speaker 1: hope people took away. It's like, even if it's a

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Speaker 1: weekend at the spy, or even if if you're telling

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Speaker 1: your friend can't or your family member, can you take

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Speaker 1: your kids for a weekend night. Yes, Candice, Yes Candice.

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Speaker 1: Not everybody could go to Bally for a month. This

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Speaker 1: is we know not everybody could go to Bally for

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Speaker 1: a month. But it's that it's that thing that you

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Speaker 1: tell yourself where like, oh my god, what do I

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Speaker 1: really need? I need something I need? You said like

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Speaker 1: take my kids, I need a weekend, I need a day,

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Speaker 1: I need an afternoon, like really making time for yourself

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Speaker 1: to serve whatever your needs are. I totally agree and

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Speaker 1: I hope that we also have. When you watch this,

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Speaker 1: you also recognize that sometimes it may not just be

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Speaker 1: your friend reaching out to say can you take them?

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Speaker 1: It maybe you having to reach out to say, hey,

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Speaker 1: let me get them for the weekend, let me get

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Speaker 1: the kids for the weekend. Let's do something. What do

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Speaker 1: you need? Because all of us may not always be

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Speaker 1: able to say or articulate what we need or feel

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Speaker 1: like if we say it, we might be, you know,

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Speaker 1: burdening our friends or burdening our family. But sometimes we

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Speaker 1: have to we have to be proactive for to be like, hey,

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Speaker 1: I got you. And that's Cannice. I recently saw a

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Speaker 1: post that you put up that was a conversation between

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Speaker 1: you and your friend about a friend kind of having

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Speaker 1: some vulnerability and a tough time parenting, saying like, girl,

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Speaker 1: don't have kids because this is a headache and I'm

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Speaker 1: so stressed out about it and all of that, and

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Speaker 1: Cannice kind of put her opinion out there and then

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Speaker 1: got some feedback from other parents that were like, Hey,

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Speaker 1: if we can't be honest with our friends, where can

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Speaker 1: we be honest? This episode, to me was exactly a

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Speaker 1: reflection of that. If Taraji had nowhere else to say,

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Speaker 1: I am not fucking happy, it was sitting right down

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Speaker 1: next to her friend, and we were so blessed to

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Speaker 1: have the opportunity where the rest of us could could

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Speaker 1: chime into that real, genuine friendship conversation. We need to

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Speaker 1: provide more spaces with our friends to be honest and vulnerable,

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Speaker 1: and I think that's the That's the other piece too,

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Speaker 1: is like this came at the end of the year,

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Speaker 1: but it has still been a heavy beginning of twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty three, right, It has been relentless. And that's this

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Speaker 1: like heaviness that if you aren't tapped into your friends,

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Speaker 1: if you aren't connected into your community, to just be

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Speaker 1: able to say, like look, I'm not good. That's when

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Speaker 1: things get really really dark, and that's when things can

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Speaker 1: get really scary. So I'm one of the I think

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Speaker 1: the one of the things in addition to her bravery

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Speaker 1: was what does it look like when you just finally

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Speaker 1: decide I'm just gonna say something? And in that was

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Speaker 1: the hope that it's not gonna be like this always

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Speaker 1: Like as as as she was hying, as so as

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Speaker 1: he was telling her, telling her truth and she was

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Speaker 1: sharing with Angie, one of the things that you did

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Speaker 1: know was she might not be happy to day that day,

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Speaker 1: but she was gonna make sure that she found happiness

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Speaker 1: and joy in her future. Right. She was going to

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Speaker 1: own it herself. And I think that that's one of

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Speaker 1: one of the hopes that we have to take, is

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Speaker 1: that it may not be right now, but we can

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Speaker 1: be happy, but we can be happy. There was also

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Speaker 1: something dope that I thought that she shared on there,

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Speaker 1: which was so cool, which was an understanding of how

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Speaker 1: her art helped other people. And so she knew that

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Speaker 1: when she played certain characters that they had somebody would

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Speaker 1: feel seen. But then she also knew, and she stepped

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Speaker 1: on this podcast, yes for sure, that somebody would take

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Speaker 1: away something that I'm always really I don't know, I'm

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Speaker 1: always really protective, especially if people I have relationship with,

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Speaker 1: like I never want them to have like you said that,

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Speaker 1: that vulnerability hangover type of thing, and so I was

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Speaker 1: worried about that. But the second I said to her,

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Speaker 1: I was like, are you sure, and she was like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: don't don't delete any of this. I knew that it

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Speaker 1: was intentional, but she wasn't sharing. She was sharing this

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Speaker 1: with the intention of making sure that other people felt seen.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. The way she delivered that message was

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Speaker 1: really just beautiful and brilliant. I'm so grateful she chose

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Speaker 1: here to do that, and yeah, and I'm grateful to

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Speaker 1: how it was received. So to everybody who sent a

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Speaker 1: post and a comment, thank you, and please know that

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Speaker 1: all your comments are we read every one of them.

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Speaker 1: I got to do a better job at getting in

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Speaker 1: the comments, yeah, and responding, because sometimes I just read

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Speaker 1: them and then I take it away and it's in

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Speaker 1: my mind I want to do Actually, you have to

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Speaker 1: hold me accountable to this. I really want to do

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Speaker 1: a better job at getting in there on it because

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Speaker 1: I want you guys to know that I see your

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Speaker 1: comments and they really do mean a lot, and I

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Speaker 1: want to engage with you more as we build this community.

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Speaker 1: So I thank you to everybody who shared a comment.

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Speaker 1: Please comment, Please subscribe, and if you haven't seen the

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Speaker 1: Taragi episode yet, you can listen to it here or

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Speaker 1: you could watch it on my YouTube page. Angie Martinez

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Speaker 1: I r L. Please make sure you subscribe, and like

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Speaker 1: I said, please make sure you comment. And I'm going

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Speaker 1: to I today vow. I'm gonna get up in there

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Speaker 1: with you guys. Um so she follow up? I need

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Speaker 1: you to go back now. I know we need everybody

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Speaker 1: saying we need to do a follow up like a

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Speaker 1: post BOLLI follow up seriously, not even just for Taraji though.

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Speaker 1: I want to follow up with Kelly and her relationship

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Speaker 1: with her dad and her kids. Like I want to

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Speaker 1: follow up but a lot. I know we can't just

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Speaker 1: do takeaways. We have to do follow ups, right. It's

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Speaker 1: so funny. I thought about Kelly the other day and

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Speaker 1: I wonder how her and her dad were coming along.

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Speaker 1: Great content and like this is I'm so happy you

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Speaker 1: like it. Top tier. Every Sunday I get my one.

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Speaker 1: I love that. Thanks guys, Thank you all too for

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Speaker 1: checking out this episode. We'll be back with some more

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Speaker 1: takeaways from some of your favorite episodes again. Catch them

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Speaker 1: on IRL YouTube page and wherever podcasts I heard. We're

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Speaker 1: out guys, thank you so much