1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,880 Speaker 1: Please be advised the following podcast episode contains subject matter 2 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:06,560 Speaker 1: related to mental health that may be triggering. If you 3 00:00:06,559 --> 00:00:08,600 Speaker 1: were loved one is in need of help, please call 4 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:13,680 Speaker 1: the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at seven three talk, or 5 00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:17,680 Speaker 1: contact the crisis text line by texting home h m 6 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:25,000 Speaker 1: E to seven four one seven four one. So many 7 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:28,319 Speaker 1: athletes are raised creating their identity on their sports, so 8 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:30,920 Speaker 1: much so that when they graduate college and maybe they're 9 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:33,520 Speaker 1: not going to the professional level of there is my sport, 10 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:36,239 Speaker 1: they have an identity crisis because it's like, if I'm 11 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:39,280 Speaker 1: not an athlete or not receiving validation and confirmation on 12 00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:42,880 Speaker 1: my worthiness from statistics, with from my coaches or from fans, 13 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:47,519 Speaker 1: then who am I? And what am I? This is 14 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:51,000 Speaker 1: the Reformed Sports Project, a podcast about restoring healthy balance 15 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:56,080 Speaker 1: and perspective in all areas of sports through education and advocacy. Hi, 16 00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:59,040 Speaker 1: this is Nick Bonacoor from the Reformed Sports Project podcast. 17 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:02,240 Speaker 1: With May being Mental health Awareness month, I'm extra excited 18 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:04,880 Speaker 1: to have on Kayleen Bracket, a sophomore on the Vanderbilt 19 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:08,600 Speaker 1: women's lacrosse team who recently gained nationwide acclaim for her 20 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:12,080 Speaker 1: candid and inspiring article on mental health titled a Letter 21 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:15,119 Speaker 1: to College Sports. Kayleen and I dive into a number 22 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:17,440 Speaker 1: of aspects of mental health, including how to reframe the 23 00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:20,600 Speaker 1: student athletes, a sense of worthiness, why parents and coaches 24 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:24,160 Speaker 1: need prioritize the person over the athlete, and the importance 25 00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:27,520 Speaker 1: of curiosity. Man, I am so I say this all 26 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:30,600 Speaker 1: the time, obviously, but I am extra extra fired up. 27 00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:33,320 Speaker 1: I have an amazing guest. She's taking time out of 28 00:01:33,319 --> 00:01:37,240 Speaker 1: her busy schedule. She is just so inspiring, super tickled 29 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:40,000 Speaker 1: to have her Vanderbilt women's a cross player. She just 30 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:42,120 Speaker 1: released I believe it was a few weeks ago. Uh 31 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:46,120 Speaker 1: an incredible letter, uh titled a letter to College Sports. Uh. 32 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:48,520 Speaker 1: Just there's not enough words to really get into it. 33 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:50,960 Speaker 1: But I'm just super tickled to have her. Kayleen Brack 34 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:53,920 Speaker 1: and Kaylene, thank you so much for hopping on. Thank 35 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:55,560 Speaker 1: you so much for having me. I'm so amped to 36 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:57,960 Speaker 1: be here. Thank you again to the commence on the article. 37 00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:00,440 Speaker 1: Is so awesome to you know how has been the 38 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:02,520 Speaker 1: author of it. But it's even color to be on 39 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,040 Speaker 1: you know, podcast like this in connecting with people like you. 40 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:07,560 Speaker 1: So I'm excited. Well, I appreciate, I'm very humble for 41 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:09,400 Speaker 1: you to say that, um, but I want to just 42 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:12,600 Speaker 1: get into it because, Kayleen, I've interviewed probably now upwards 43 00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:17,080 Speaker 1: of six hundred folks, whether they be professional athletes, college coaches, 44 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:20,480 Speaker 1: you know, doctors and writers and such, and I've actually 45 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:22,079 Speaker 1: heard this a couple of times, and this is where 46 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:23,640 Speaker 1: I want to start with, especially when I've talked to 47 00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 1: several elite athletes, one in particular who's on our advisory board. 48 00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:29,760 Speaker 1: His name is Lenny DeNardo. He he played for the 49 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:33,000 Speaker 1: two thousand four World Series champion Boston Red Sox and 50 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:35,880 Speaker 1: during our you know, time speaking and such, he told me, 51 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,280 Speaker 1: and it's a quote that I've I've never forgotten, but 52 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:42,120 Speaker 1: it's something I've heard across many different athletes and coaches, 53 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,760 Speaker 1: and that is when he was like thirteen or fourteen 54 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:45,640 Speaker 1: years old. He was obviously a very good player, and 55 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:47,320 Speaker 1: one of his coaches, who ended up being someone very 56 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:49,640 Speaker 1: special to him, told them at that young age, Lenny, 57 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:54,240 Speaker 1: remember sports baseball is what you do. It's not who 58 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:56,360 Speaker 1: you are, right. And the reason I'm bringing that up 59 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:58,240 Speaker 1: and want to start there because in your letter, you know, 60 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:01,320 Speaker 1: to College Sports, you talked so and what really grabbed 61 00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:04,520 Speaker 1: my attention with it about coaching the person first, in 62 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:06,960 Speaker 1: the athletes second. What do you mean by that? Can 63 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,480 Speaker 1: you kind of dig in there? Yeah? So I think 64 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:13,040 Speaker 1: that so much of growing up as an athlete, especially 65 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:17,400 Speaker 1: is forming your identity um and developing an identity that 66 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:19,480 Speaker 1: centers on your sport. And I know, for me, like 67 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:22,120 Speaker 1: growing up, i played LA cross. It was my full 68 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:25,919 Speaker 1: year commitment, and I was always so much of the 69 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:29,440 Speaker 1: validation that I received just growing up and as an individual. 70 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:32,280 Speaker 1: Kids need so much validation for parents and adults in 71 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:34,320 Speaker 1: their life, and I've got a lot of that from 72 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:37,760 Speaker 1: the Cross. Of the worthiness um that I felt was 73 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:40,920 Speaker 1: largely a result of my success as an athlete, and naturally, 74 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,920 Speaker 1: because you know, those are the feelings that we want 75 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:45,960 Speaker 1: to continue feeling, we want to continue enforcing that success. 76 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,520 Speaker 1: Civil Across became kind of like the center of my life. 77 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 1: And I luckily since then, you know, in college and 78 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:56,840 Speaker 1: having gone through mental health challenges and then ultimately making 79 00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:59,440 Speaker 1: the decision to step away from across and then eventually 80 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:03,360 Speaker 1: stepping back, you know, off my team, I realized and 81 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:06,840 Speaker 1: I was able to develop an identity outside of lacrosse. 82 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:10,560 Speaker 1: And I think so many athletes are raised creating their 83 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:13,000 Speaker 1: identity on their sports so much so that when they 84 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:15,680 Speaker 1: graduate college and maybe they're not going to the professional 85 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:19,279 Speaker 1: level of their respective sport, they have an identity crisis 86 00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:21,360 Speaker 1: because it's like, if I'm not if I'm not an athlete, 87 00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:24,800 Speaker 1: I'm not receiving validation and confirmation on my worthiness from 88 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:27,440 Speaker 1: you know, statistics or from my coaches, are from fans, 89 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:29,159 Speaker 1: Then who am I and what am I? And where 90 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:32,520 Speaker 1: do I draw that worthiness? And my life has become 91 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:36,039 Speaker 1: so rich really because I've developed myself as an individual 92 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:38,680 Speaker 1: outside of the lacross and I've found so much of 93 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:41,919 Speaker 1: what I love doing and what makes me uh, you know, 94 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:45,479 Speaker 1: versatile human being and somebody who enjoys a lot of 95 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:48,000 Speaker 1: things in life beyond my sport, but can also really 96 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:51,400 Speaker 1: respect and hold space for my sport um so much 97 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:53,839 Speaker 1: that I can remain dedicated to it. But it is 98 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,840 Speaker 1: it's crazy because so many athletes will graduate college and 99 00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:59,440 Speaker 1: having no idea how to like cope with their non 100 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:02,440 Speaker 1: membership the team anymore or as an athlete. And that 101 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:04,240 Speaker 1: was what I was saying, is like, if we just 102 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:08,680 Speaker 1: nurture the human being before we try and develop the athlete, 103 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:10,920 Speaker 1: then it will have a well rounded human being and 104 00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:14,039 Speaker 1: a successful athlete because we'll be tending to both, you know, 105 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,640 Speaker 1: the physical and the mental aspects of their well being, 106 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:19,119 Speaker 1: and that's what creates the best athletes ultimately. But really 107 00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:21,520 Speaker 1: what's more important is that it creates the best human 108 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:24,600 Speaker 1: beings and the healthiest human beings. So that's my perspective 109 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:28,239 Speaker 1: on the way that we develop our identities around our sports. Um. 110 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:30,520 Speaker 1: And there is something we said for the value of 111 00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:33,880 Speaker 1: dedicating yourself to a sport, But when your identity becomes 112 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,640 Speaker 1: being an athlete before being a human being who has 113 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:39,560 Speaker 1: a deep knowing of their worthiness solely because they're you know, 114 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,680 Speaker 1: breathing like I wrote that article, and not because their 115 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:45,240 Speaker 1: scoring goals or gaining accolades, um, that's when I think 116 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,640 Speaker 1: we find the power of just celebrating the human being 117 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:49,720 Speaker 1: and the privilege that it is to play a sport 118 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:51,440 Speaker 1: and to have a kid who plays, supported, to be 119 00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:53,400 Speaker 1: a coach, of a support any really any hand you 120 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:55,680 Speaker 1: have in that is an awesome privilege. So that's what 121 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:58,040 Speaker 1: I was trying to make people acknowledge. I think in 122 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:00,719 Speaker 1: a lot of ways, was just the idea that we 123 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:05,560 Speaker 1: as athletes can celebrate being athletes, but it should never 124 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:09,560 Speaker 1: be something that takes away from our individuality is here 125 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:12,400 Speaker 1: and beings are worthiness. I'm listening to the end and 126 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:15,440 Speaker 1: you you you mentioned the word balance, and you know, 127 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:17,960 Speaker 1: as someone who is a father of six, someone who 128 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,520 Speaker 1: played you know, college sports myself, and now I have 129 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:23,800 Speaker 1: a rising senior who you know, recently committed to a 130 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:26,280 Speaker 1: college and is going to wrestle in college, I totally 131 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:28,760 Speaker 1: get it. I've heard it, I've seen it, I've lived 132 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:31,479 Speaker 1: it what you're describing, and I look at the kind 133 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:34,560 Speaker 1: of the ecosystem now that is the youth sports culture, right. 134 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:37,599 Speaker 1: There's a hyper specialization aspect of it. And you mentioned 135 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:40,320 Speaker 1: the word being versatile, right, so you know those are 136 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:43,360 Speaker 1: all things like we talk about, you know, versatility for instance, 137 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:46,119 Speaker 1: playing other sports, are being around different teammates, not hyper 138 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:49,160 Speaker 1: specializing in one thing. That's a physical component of it. 139 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,880 Speaker 1: But I feel like it's so much easier to recognize 140 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:54,320 Speaker 1: the physical right because it's tangible. We can see it. 141 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:57,159 Speaker 1: You even mentioned statistics and results. But you know, with 142 00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:59,479 Speaker 1: the mental side, I know from my own experience as 143 00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:02,560 Speaker 1: an athlete, I was my best performer when I felt 144 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:04,880 Speaker 1: the best about myself. And my good friend Trot Nixon, 145 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:07,039 Speaker 1: who was another you know Red Sox legend. You know 146 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:10,440 Speaker 1: he mentioned of being a great hitter in baseball? Is 147 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:13,440 Speaker 1: how you feel walking up to the plate, you know, right, 148 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:18,559 Speaker 1: mindset confidence? How do we as sports parents and youth 149 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:23,360 Speaker 1: coaches navigate today's youth sports culture with so much intensity 150 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:27,160 Speaker 1: around performance, right, there's performance to get recognition, there's performance 151 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:29,160 Speaker 1: to get seen at a young age and get you know, 152 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:32,400 Speaker 1: this pursuit for college sports. Did you experience that and 153 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:34,920 Speaker 1: if so, how did you navigate it? How would you 154 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:39,840 Speaker 1: recommend folks navigate that? I think that for parents, so 155 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:43,080 Speaker 1: much of you know, navigating your child's experience with caused 156 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:45,960 Speaker 1: sports or with you know, elite sports. That the whole 157 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,200 Speaker 1: college culture kind of started at a really young age, 158 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:51,040 Speaker 1: especially now with just like recruiting camps starting in like 159 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:53,520 Speaker 1: fifth grade, Like no one's recruiting a ten year old, 160 00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:55,920 Speaker 1: but people will still be at those camps. And I 161 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:58,440 Speaker 1: think that so much of good, honestly for parents, and 162 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:01,520 Speaker 1: again I'm not a parent, is self reflection and asking 163 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:04,440 Speaker 1: yourself and inquiring with yourself, like why am I so 164 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:07,880 Speaker 1: invested in this? Is it because I'm fulfilling my own 165 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:09,920 Speaker 1: needs of wanting to feel like I've been a good 166 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:12,240 Speaker 1: parent who has a successful child, or is it a 167 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:14,920 Speaker 1: matter of really wanting your child to succeed because your 168 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:17,360 Speaker 1: child wants to succeed, Like, those are two different things. 169 00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:20,280 Speaker 1: And I think my my dad, especially, he was a 170 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:23,160 Speaker 1: Division one lacrosse player and has been my coach my 171 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,760 Speaker 1: entire life, not on my teams, but just you know, 172 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:28,480 Speaker 1: behind the scenes, really has been always working with me. 173 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:33,240 Speaker 1: And he never imposed his experience on me. He was 174 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:36,240 Speaker 1: never like, hey, I didn't get to do everything I 175 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:38,080 Speaker 1: wanted to do in lacrosse, so here's what we're gonna 176 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:39,959 Speaker 1: have you do to carry out my dreams. That was 177 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,240 Speaker 1: never this thing. And thank goodness, because I think a 178 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:45,719 Speaker 1: lot of parents, you know, unintentionally and subconsciously imposed their 179 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:49,040 Speaker 1: own needs on to their children, especially in their athletic careers. 180 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,160 Speaker 1: But my dad knew that it was important to me 181 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,320 Speaker 1: that I succeeded him, that I wanted to go far 182 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,200 Speaker 1: in lacrosse, and I wanted to be a collegiate player, 183 00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:56,679 Speaker 1: and so he pushed me because of that, and he 184 00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:59,079 Speaker 1: pushed me with that motivation. And so it never felt 185 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:02,360 Speaker 1: like I was being, um, you know, pushed because you 186 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,400 Speaker 1: wanted to push me. He was pushed me because I 187 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:07,160 Speaker 1: wanted him to push me um. And I think that's 188 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:09,439 Speaker 1: a really important distinction to make, like for parents to 189 00:09:09,559 --> 00:09:12,440 Speaker 1: have you know, the wherewithal to acknowledge when their child 190 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,480 Speaker 1: is having fun and wants to do something versus when 191 00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:17,959 Speaker 1: they want their child to do something as a demonstration 192 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:21,280 Speaker 1: that they're good parent, Like you, as a parent, cannot 193 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:23,319 Speaker 1: ask your child to give you validation. And I think 194 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:26,920 Speaker 1: that's what so many parents unfortunately aren't cognizant of, is 195 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:31,079 Speaker 1: like they asked their child, whether it be overtly or 196 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:35,000 Speaker 1: very subconsciously, for validation and and maybe having you know, 197 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:37,520 Speaker 1: a child be an all American is validation enough for 198 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:42,520 Speaker 1: a parent who values performance in sport. But ultimately, like 199 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:45,360 Speaker 1: you need to inquire with yourself and reflect and say, 200 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:48,040 Speaker 1: like why am I doing this? Why am I behaving 201 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:49,880 Speaker 1: like this around my kid? And why am I telling 202 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:51,880 Speaker 1: them to do X, Y Z or or having them 203 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:53,679 Speaker 1: go to these camps at eleven years old? And if 204 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,440 Speaker 1: it's for your kid because they want to do it, 205 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:57,480 Speaker 1: that's one thing. And if if it's because of you, 206 00:09:57,800 --> 00:10:00,280 Speaker 1: that's another thing. And that's something I would implore that 207 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:05,080 Speaker 1: you know, adults have the perspective to ask themselves and 208 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,360 Speaker 1: be honest in our answers about like am I doing 209 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:10,400 Speaker 1: this for me? Or am I doing it for them? Uh? 210 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:13,120 Speaker 1: And there's so much I think with parents now beguting 211 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:16,320 Speaker 1: it and the pressure coming from other parents, because it's 212 00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:18,280 Speaker 1: the same thing with like, you know, if if your 213 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:21,000 Speaker 1: neighbor brings their toddler to the best preschool ever, like, 214 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,720 Speaker 1: you're going to feel some pressure to bring your toddler 215 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:26,200 Speaker 1: to the best preschool ever. Two And it's this external 216 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:28,160 Speaker 1: pressure And I think we have to have, like I said, 217 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:30,960 Speaker 1: the wherewithal to know that so many of these things 218 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:34,319 Speaker 1: are superficial and egotistical, and yes they're they're totally the 219 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:37,120 Speaker 1: human experience of acknowledging those things and being like, damn, 220 00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:39,040 Speaker 1: I really do feel like I'm falling behind if I'm 221 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:41,000 Speaker 1: not bringing my kid to the best camps or paying 222 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:42,920 Speaker 1: for the best coaches, or or having my kid get 223 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:46,120 Speaker 1: in front of these college coaches, um. But being able 224 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:49,280 Speaker 1: to say I acknowledge these things well also having the 225 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,560 Speaker 1: perspective of the fact that it's just a sport and 226 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:53,160 Speaker 1: at the end of the day, it's supposed to be 227 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:55,400 Speaker 1: fun for my kid and for me, and it's it's 228 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:57,520 Speaker 1: a privilege to be able to play these sports, and 229 00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:59,480 Speaker 1: especially to be able to play them at a college 230 00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:02,320 Speaker 1: level and have the access to resources like going to 231 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,880 Speaker 1: camps and working with coaches and all of these things 232 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:07,920 Speaker 1: that we kind of almost act like are these huge 233 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,640 Speaker 1: burdens on us, when realistically a huge parblege should be 234 00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:13,160 Speaker 1: able to even fund those things. So having any think 235 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,120 Speaker 1: perspective is really the best thing we can do. Is, 236 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:17,840 Speaker 1: you know, people who will eventually be parents, people who 237 00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:20,320 Speaker 1: are parents now, and coaches and also kids to have 238 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,559 Speaker 1: the understanding of, like the fact that often parents aren't 239 00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:25,760 Speaker 1: acting out of malice once out there, acting out of 240 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,560 Speaker 1: wanting the best for their child and not knowing how 241 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:30,880 Speaker 1: to get there. That's such a great point and you know, 242 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,040 Speaker 1: to kind of shift gears a little bit in you know, 243 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,760 Speaker 1: I remember my senior year of high school was one 244 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:38,160 Speaker 1: of the most fun experiences of my life, and it 245 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:40,280 Speaker 1: was all because it was my senior baseball and that's 246 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:41,800 Speaker 1: what I love to do. And I know, you know, 247 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:44,000 Speaker 1: based on reading your articles and kind of listening to 248 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:46,920 Speaker 1: some of your interviews, you know you're a victim of 249 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:49,720 Speaker 1: the pandemic right where your senior season in high school 250 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:52,439 Speaker 1: got shut down right. That's something that no one alive 251 00:11:52,559 --> 00:11:55,400 Speaker 1: today really ever went through before write a pandemic um, 252 00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:58,680 Speaker 1: not that I'm aware of. So it was uncharted territory 253 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:02,760 Speaker 1: for adults and kids, and we all believe and kind 254 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:05,760 Speaker 1: of know. You know, kids are developing so much. You know, 255 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:08,080 Speaker 1: there's so much that's going on, There's so much changing, 256 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,440 Speaker 1: and so many things are being learned. What was it 257 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:14,240 Speaker 1: like for you losing that senior high school and then 258 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:16,800 Speaker 1: of course still going on to Vanderbilt and playing, Like, 259 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:20,280 Speaker 1: did you feel extra pressure having that year off? Was 260 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:22,480 Speaker 1: there any relief or did you miss it? Like? What 261 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:24,840 Speaker 1: did it do to you from an athletic standpoint? In turn, 262 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:26,640 Speaker 1: you know, from a mental standpoint, how did it make 263 00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:29,040 Speaker 1: you approach when you got on you know, Vanderbilt's campus. 264 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:32,520 Speaker 1: I was so honestly, I was struggling a lot of 265 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:35,080 Speaker 1: senior year with my mental health. I senior high school, 266 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:39,240 Speaker 1: and I actually was really relieved when we ended up 267 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:42,320 Speaker 1: having like the pandemic, just because I think and not 268 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:45,200 Speaker 1: really because obviously that was a massive crisis, but in 269 00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:47,400 Speaker 1: terms of autocross these main cancer I think it was 270 00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:50,240 Speaker 1: like timely in a lot of ways, I was struggling 271 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:53,800 Speaker 1: so much I needed space and time. But also I 272 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:55,720 Speaker 1: think in a lot of ways it was really difficult 273 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:59,280 Speaker 1: because not having that senior season, I had struggled in 274 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:01,280 Speaker 1: like our off season, and I wasn't really like super 275 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:04,240 Speaker 1: enthusiastic about sport. I was a captain um, and I 276 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:07,560 Speaker 1: just wasn't really like able to kind of turn myself 277 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:10,560 Speaker 1: into the intensity of the season or the excitement about 278 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,360 Speaker 1: it really And then we had one practice in the 279 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,280 Speaker 1: next day we found out that we were not going 280 00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:16,120 Speaker 1: to have a season. So in a lot of ways, 281 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:18,280 Speaker 1: I felt like I lost so much, and I think 282 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:21,719 Speaker 1: my other teammates really were grieving losing our senior year. 283 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:24,080 Speaker 1: But also for me, I think I almost wish I 284 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:26,360 Speaker 1: had that senior year because I think it would have 285 00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:28,280 Speaker 1: reminded me of how much I loved the sport, and 286 00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:30,160 Speaker 1: it would have given me the opportunity to have that 287 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:33,240 Speaker 1: final season that I could really appreciate, kind of free 288 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:35,040 Speaker 1: of as much pressure as you have when you've got 289 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,480 Speaker 1: to college. Because then I got to college, and I 290 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:39,720 Speaker 1: had already spent months being like, I'm not really sure 291 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:41,800 Speaker 1: if I even want to play calls across, and then 292 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:43,880 Speaker 1: I get to college and it's still in a pandemic 293 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:47,199 Speaker 1: Invaderable is a medical campus, so we have a hospital 294 00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:50,200 Speaker 1: on campus and everything is incredibly strict, which I respect, 295 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:53,559 Speaker 1: but it was insane, like to get on campus. I 296 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,800 Speaker 1: got COVID the second day I was on campus, and 297 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:58,920 Speaker 1: so it was a horrible start to my college career, truly, um. 298 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:00,480 Speaker 1: And so when I got to college, I wasn't even 299 00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:02,080 Speaker 1: certain that I wanted to play across and it was 300 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:04,400 Speaker 1: kind of just like this whole culmination of all of 301 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:07,679 Speaker 1: these uncertainties and then COVID and everything. And what I've 302 00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:10,040 Speaker 1: been thinking about for the past few weeks, especially as 303 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:12,480 Speaker 1: I've engaged in one of these conversations, has been the 304 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:16,320 Speaker 1: fact that we're talking about college athletics, and especially a 305 00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:18,319 Speaker 1: lot of people have noticed have cited an n C 306 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:21,400 Speaker 1: double a study from twenty I believe, and it's like 307 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,880 Speaker 1: thirty of athletes have dealt with you know, the severe 308 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:27,960 Speaker 1: departional anxiety or eating disorders x y Z, essentially saying 309 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:30,960 Speaker 1: that of student athletes said yes, that they've dealt with 310 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:34,880 Speaker 1: mental health challenges on a pole. And to me, it's 311 00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:38,400 Speaker 1: starring that people are even citing these statistics knowing that 312 00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:41,480 Speaker 1: they were taken in which is pre pandemic, and the 313 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:45,280 Speaker 1: pandemic has had tremendous effects on people's mental health, and 314 00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:47,960 Speaker 1: that's something that cannot be overlooked and should not be overlooked, 315 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:50,160 Speaker 1: especially as we assess the mental health of the current 316 00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:53,320 Speaker 1: population of student athletes in college. Like, we went through 317 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:56,480 Speaker 1: this incredibly life changing event, and so did the coaches 318 00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:59,280 Speaker 1: and still have parents and everyone, I think in a 319 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:01,320 Speaker 1: lot of ways of a bit softer in a way 320 00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:04,160 Speaker 1: that is admirable, and are we just handle life with more, 321 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:07,080 Speaker 1: you know, gentleness, And so it's hard to go through 322 00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:09,280 Speaker 1: a pandemic and to be kind of out of commission 323 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:11,720 Speaker 1: for almost a year, and then to get on a 324 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:14,280 Speaker 1: campus for your freshman year of college and be expected 325 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:17,400 Speaker 1: to be intense and expect to be competitive when you've 326 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:19,920 Speaker 1: just been given this whole life shift in which your 327 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:22,880 Speaker 1: perspective inevitably changes on a lot of things. And for me, 328 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:25,200 Speaker 1: I think I stepped back in a lot of ways 329 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:28,480 Speaker 1: and was looking at lacrosse from the zoomed out lens 330 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:31,680 Speaker 1: of saying like, Okay, clearly, this is not the most 331 00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:34,080 Speaker 1: important thing to me. There are other things in my 332 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:36,280 Speaker 1: life that I care about more than across and then 333 00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:39,200 Speaker 1: extracting what from across I value and it's like the 334 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:43,080 Speaker 1: connections the teamwork and the actual lessons that I learned 335 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:45,600 Speaker 1: in the sport that have nothing to do with my performance, 336 00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:47,800 Speaker 1: but have everything to do with what I will take 337 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:49,920 Speaker 1: from the sport when I ultimately, you know, hang out 338 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:53,080 Speaker 1: the cleaves. And it's really interesting to see the way 339 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:56,320 Speaker 1: the pandemic has affected calluge sports and then the lack 340 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,800 Speaker 1: of consideration. I think a lot of people have demonstrated 341 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:02,160 Speaker 1: about the effect that pandemic has actually had the mental 342 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:05,760 Speaker 1: health of students. After the break, Kayline and I continue 343 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:15,400 Speaker 1: to discuss mental health. Where we left off, Kayline and 344 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,720 Speaker 1: I were about to dig further into how parents and 345 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:20,840 Speaker 1: coaches can help improve the mental health of student athletes 346 00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:24,760 Speaker 1: and the importance of curiosity. How would you you know 347 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:27,280 Speaker 1: now having gone through this, and you know you've rejoined 348 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:29,680 Speaker 1: the team, and you know it sounds like you have learned. 349 00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:31,440 Speaker 1: I mean, I can only imagine. I know, I've learned 350 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,080 Speaker 1: just an incredible amount as a parent, I mean what 351 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,400 Speaker 1: I learned most from And we have six kids, and 352 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,480 Speaker 1: here we are during the pandemic. We got kids at home, 353 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:40,640 Speaker 1: you know, doing all their school work. You know, it 354 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:42,880 Speaker 1: was just it was mayhem in my house, as it 355 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:44,600 Speaker 1: was for a lot of people, right, most of us. 356 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:46,960 Speaker 1: I mean, it was uncharted territory as we kind of described. 357 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:49,120 Speaker 1: But I learned a lot. I learned that I'm capable 358 00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:51,000 Speaker 1: of more through it. I learned that I can really 359 00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:53,560 Speaker 1: push through and work through things. And I also learned 360 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:56,040 Speaker 1: that it's much more comforting when you know you're not 361 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:59,440 Speaker 1: going through something a challenge alone. Right when everyone's kind 362 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:02,600 Speaker 1: of feeling this a way, it was easy to communicate 363 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:04,680 Speaker 1: about it. Well. Mental health is one of those things 364 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:06,840 Speaker 1: where I feel like there's less of a stigma now. 365 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,960 Speaker 1: But let's face it, for a long time, there was 366 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:12,239 Speaker 1: like it was people probably felt uncomfortable to talk about it, 367 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:15,520 Speaker 1: and and that's heartbreaking. But people like yourself are making 368 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:18,959 Speaker 1: it a conversation and shedding light on something that is 369 00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:22,280 Speaker 1: so vital, you know, to human development. And what are 370 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:25,160 Speaker 1: some ways as could I know, based on what you've said, 371 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:28,560 Speaker 1: Vanderbilt has been your coaching staff have just been incredible 372 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:31,639 Speaker 1: with support for you. And it sounds like you've got 373 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:34,439 Speaker 1: so much help dealing with everything. But what are some 374 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,160 Speaker 1: things that parents and coaches and like, how do we 375 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:39,720 Speaker 1: recognize when a kid might be struggling. Is is it 376 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:41,560 Speaker 1: just simple as hey, how are you doing? How do 377 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:44,200 Speaker 1: you kind of break through to maybe get a kid 378 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:47,320 Speaker 1: to get vulnerable. It's such a loaded question, like honestly, 379 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,760 Speaker 1: like there's so many answers, I think, and not to 380 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:51,840 Speaker 1: conversation in and of itself, I think needs to be 381 00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:53,560 Speaker 1: had on a lot of levels and with a lot 382 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:55,440 Speaker 1: of people. And that's kind of my goal, I think, 383 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:57,879 Speaker 1: is giving people a language to start that conversation. And 384 00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,680 Speaker 1: even if someone can just print out the article and 385 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:01,359 Speaker 1: bring us their coach and say, hey this. You know 386 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:03,520 Speaker 1: this girl from Vinerable wrote an article and she expressed 387 00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,359 Speaker 1: how I felt really well, and I would I would 388 00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:07,440 Speaker 1: love to have this conversation. That's something that I think 389 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:11,040 Speaker 1: is really valuable. But to think about what you can 390 00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:13,159 Speaker 1: do as a coach or a parent to make you 391 00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:17,080 Speaker 1: know your athletes more vulnerable in a way, it's really 392 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:20,600 Speaker 1: interesting because I don't think there's actually a hesitance as 393 00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:23,360 Speaker 1: much of a hesitance on the part of student athletes 394 00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:26,480 Speaker 1: to be vulnerable. I think luckily like Generation Z and 395 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,199 Speaker 1: I don't want to make it about age, but a 396 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,320 Speaker 1: lot of kids that have been raised in our generation 397 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,520 Speaker 1: are really comfortable talking about their mental health. And I 398 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,720 Speaker 1: think that also for men, and I can't speak the 399 00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:37,560 Speaker 1: experience of the young men in my generation um is different. 400 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:40,000 Speaker 1: And I absolutely have a lot of compassion for the 401 00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:43,040 Speaker 1: Conference of Masculinity on talking about your feelings. But I 402 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:46,359 Speaker 1: think just generally there is like there's more comfortability talking 403 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:48,400 Speaker 1: about our feelings and our mental health. And I think 404 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:51,320 Speaker 1: right now, the problem, and it's a problem with you know, 405 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:54,680 Speaker 1: great opportunities for solution, is a lot of the coaches 406 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:58,359 Speaker 1: and parents you know right now are generation ex or 407 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:00,800 Speaker 1: their millennials, and so they have a been raised and 408 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,520 Speaker 1: this is no fault of their own, but they haven't 409 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,919 Speaker 1: been raised in a culture that socialized them to be 410 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:08,560 Speaker 1: comfortable talking about mental health. And so the problem is 411 00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:10,879 Speaker 1: that a lot of kids and you know, young adults 412 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:12,959 Speaker 1: are going to their parents and their coaches and they 413 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:15,400 Speaker 1: are talking about mental health and they are initiating these 414 00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:19,760 Speaker 1: vulnerable conversations. But ultimately those conversations aren't being received well. 415 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:23,320 Speaker 1: They're not being received with love and compassion and curiosity. Rightly, 416 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:26,840 Speaker 1: they're being received with judgment because coaches and parents haven't 417 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:29,760 Speaker 1: been trained or educated on how to have these conversations, 418 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:31,520 Speaker 1: and like I said, like that is no fault of 419 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:33,399 Speaker 1: their own, and that is the change that needs to 420 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,480 Speaker 1: be made. It needs to be you know, a widespread 421 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:39,560 Speaker 1: education opportunity for coaches and a requirement really for people 422 00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:41,520 Speaker 1: that are working with young adults. They need to be 423 00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:43,680 Speaker 1: trained and how to talk to young adults, and how 424 00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:46,600 Speaker 1: to meet young adults with with love and with compassion 425 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:50,040 Speaker 1: and curiosity and patients rather than meeting them with judgment 426 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:52,479 Speaker 1: or you know, even awkwardness. I think some people are 427 00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:55,160 Speaker 1: just uncomfortable talking about mental health and it really will 428 00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:58,920 Speaker 1: be a group offered. It will be policy that needs 429 00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:01,600 Speaker 1: to be you know, initiated. And right now, I think 430 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,640 Speaker 1: I'm at a place where I'm trying to figure out 431 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:05,960 Speaker 1: what it is I can do and what it is 432 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,399 Speaker 1: I want to do to make these changes. And I 433 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:10,480 Speaker 1: know I'm expected to do it alone, of course, and 434 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:13,199 Speaker 1: I've really connected with amazing people like yourself that have 435 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:16,560 Speaker 1: are making strides here, and it's it's so encouraging to 436 00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:18,680 Speaker 1: know that there's just a community of people who are 437 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:24,040 Speaker 1: so passionate about this um and again, like it's it's 438 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:26,080 Speaker 1: hard to answer, like you know, there's no like twelve 439 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:29,119 Speaker 1: steps to making yourself a better coach about her parents, 440 00:20:29,119 --> 00:20:30,639 Speaker 1: and if there were, I would, you know, write a 441 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:33,720 Speaker 1: book about it and probably do pretty well. But it's 442 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:36,680 Speaker 1: it's a convlutive thing, I think, and especially me not 443 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:38,639 Speaker 1: being a parent, I try to have as much compassion 444 00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:41,600 Speaker 1: and curiosity for you know, the experience of coaches and 445 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:44,600 Speaker 1: parents as I can. But again, at nineteen years old, 446 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:47,399 Speaker 1: I have still plenty to learn. That's what I have 447 00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:50,240 Speaker 1: right now is like proceeding with compassion and I think 448 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:54,040 Speaker 1: normalizing the conversations and also like I'm kind of over 449 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:57,000 Speaker 1: the whole break the stigma because I think it's so empty, 450 00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:58,960 Speaker 1: like you can, you can say break the stigma a 451 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:02,040 Speaker 1: million times, but until you explain what that really means, 452 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,800 Speaker 1: that how we get there, it really is, it's, you know, 453 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:06,640 Speaker 1: a shot in the dark to be like, let's break 454 00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:09,040 Speaker 1: the stigma or you know, let's just it's okay to 455 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:11,439 Speaker 1: not be okay. Like to me, of course it's okay 456 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:13,719 Speaker 1: to not be okay. Like that's so standard, and I 457 00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:16,040 Speaker 1: want it to be standard, Like I want these conversations 458 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:18,399 Speaker 1: to be normal, and I don't want mental health to 459 00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:21,080 Speaker 1: be this esoteric thing where you can only go to 460 00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:24,800 Speaker 1: your coaches or access these resources. If you're having a crisis, 461 00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:28,120 Speaker 1: or if you're you know, severely anxious or severely depressed, 462 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,560 Speaker 1: or you're dealing with something that is, you know, life threatening, 463 00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,679 Speaker 1: it should be a normal conversation to just go to 464 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:34,960 Speaker 1: your coaches, your parents and be like, hey, I don't 465 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,600 Speaker 1: really know what it is. I can't really explain it, 466 00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:38,399 Speaker 1: but I haven't been having as much fun playing my 467 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:40,640 Speaker 1: sport recently. Things like that. I think if we can 468 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:43,680 Speaker 1: make those conversations standard and just make it more accessible 469 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:46,439 Speaker 1: to talk about these things and not so such a 470 00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:49,760 Speaker 1: big deal, I think it'll be a lot more approachable 471 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,960 Speaker 1: for everyone, like all parties involved. You've used that word 472 00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:56,480 Speaker 1: curiosity several times, and I gotta tell you, I love, 473 00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:58,560 Speaker 1: I love the way you're using it. I love. I 474 00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:01,879 Speaker 1: think it's such a great war because I often, you know, 475 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:03,879 Speaker 1: you go on social media, which you know I'm on 476 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:06,399 Speaker 1: there a lot, because obviously you know, sharing content and 477 00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:09,120 Speaker 1: try to engage in conversations with folks. And one thing 478 00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:12,280 Speaker 1: I noticed is that I know, for me, if I'm 479 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:16,159 Speaker 1: closed minded, I'm I'm really not giving myself an opportunity 480 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:18,320 Speaker 1: for growth at all as a human being, as a parent, 481 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,880 Speaker 1: as a coach, as whatever. That's just a human being. 482 00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:24,520 Speaker 1: And I feel like approaching things with curiosity but also 483 00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:28,080 Speaker 1: with open mindedness, right like, I don't have all the answers. 484 00:22:28,359 --> 00:22:30,520 Speaker 1: And the minute I start thinking I have all the answers, 485 00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:32,600 Speaker 1: I think I'm in trouble. You know, I'm learning a 486 00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:35,320 Speaker 1: lot from you. You're nineteen years old, and you know, 487 00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:37,920 Speaker 1: some people might say, well, and I'm I'm I'm gonna 488 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:40,280 Speaker 1: be forty three years old. You know, if I start thinking, 489 00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,280 Speaker 1: because I've been on this earth, you know, twenty plus 490 00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:44,040 Speaker 1: years longer than you, that I know more than you 491 00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:46,120 Speaker 1: with and I'm in trouble. You know. I can have 492 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,720 Speaker 1: my own experiences, but so do you. And I don't 493 00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:50,280 Speaker 1: know what it's like to stand in your shoes, and 494 00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:51,720 Speaker 1: you don't know what it's like to stand in mind. 495 00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:54,879 Speaker 1: I think that that curiosity, that willingness to have that conversation, 496 00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:57,760 Speaker 1: to be open minded, is such a powerful tool that 497 00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,159 Speaker 1: allows for growth. And the more that we can have 498 00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:03,040 Speaker 1: these conversations and people like yourself can speak on there, 499 00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:05,040 Speaker 1: I think the personal experience aspect of it is so 500 00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:07,600 Speaker 1: critical because you're not telling me what to do, You're 501 00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:10,320 Speaker 1: telling me your experience and that in and of itself 502 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:13,439 Speaker 1: is powerful and it makes me curious. So I'm so 503 00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,479 Speaker 1: grateful for that. And I want to end with this 504 00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:17,760 Speaker 1: because so grateful for you to come on here. But 505 00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:21,000 Speaker 1: what are you grateful for? Oh my goodness, I love 506 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:23,280 Speaker 1: that this is my favorite question in the world. And 507 00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:26,199 Speaker 1: also I really love that you commended the curiosity thing, 508 00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:29,040 Speaker 1: because curiosity is like my most prominent trait and it's 509 00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,800 Speaker 1: what's gotten me to be so, you know, have such 510 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:34,000 Speaker 1: a rich life of getting to know people and connect 511 00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:37,639 Speaker 1: with people. Um, I am so so grateful for the 512 00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:41,680 Speaker 1: people in my life. I have just the most incredible, 513 00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:45,119 Speaker 1: you know, collection of people that I surround myself with, 514 00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:47,720 Speaker 1: and every day I'm just overwhelmed with love for the 515 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:49,800 Speaker 1: amount of people in my life with whom I can 516 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:53,920 Speaker 1: have just amazing, meaningful conversations. And it's it's so wide 517 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:56,399 Speaker 1: reaching people all over the world that I've connected with 518 00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:58,640 Speaker 1: and threw across, but also through a lot of other 519 00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:01,760 Speaker 1: you know, avenues through and are both through connections like 520 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:04,800 Speaker 1: this and my family and my friends. And I just 521 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:06,879 Speaker 1: feel like the way that I show up in the 522 00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:10,280 Speaker 1: world is such a reflection of the beautiful collection of 523 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:12,840 Speaker 1: people that I, you know, pour into every day in 524 00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:17,360 Speaker 1: those relationships. So I am forever, forever the most grateful 525 00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:19,240 Speaker 1: for the people that I surround myself with and the 526 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:20,960 Speaker 1: people who love me and the people that I love, 527 00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:23,840 Speaker 1: because I would not be anywhere without them, and I 528 00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:25,760 Speaker 1: would not be able to give so much love if 529 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:28,879 Speaker 1: I were not receiving just as much. So, Kileen Bracken, 530 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,199 Speaker 1: I am so grateful for the opportunity to speak with you. 531 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,560 Speaker 1: I can't thank you enough. Your work is wonderful. Keep 532 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:37,639 Speaker 1: doing what you're doing. You're inspiring not only myself but 533 00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:40,719 Speaker 1: the whole Reformed Sports Project team. You're inspiring student athletes, 534 00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:43,800 Speaker 1: you're inspiring coaches, and you are really, you know, just 535 00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:45,600 Speaker 1: doing amazing work. I just can't thank you enough for 536 00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:48,000 Speaker 1: your time. Thank you so much, Nick, I really appreciate it. 537 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:52,520 Speaker 1: That's Kayleen Bracken, mental health advocate, Vanderbilt women's lacrosse player 538 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:55,560 Speaker 1: and author of a Letter to college Sports. Thanks for 539 00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:59,080 Speaker 1: listening to the Reformed Sports Project podcast. Dominick Boticourt and 540 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:01,600 Speaker 1: our goal is to were a healthy balance and perspective 541 00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:05,640 Speaker 1: in all areas of sports through education and advocacy. For updates, 542 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:08,920 Speaker 1: please follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, or check 543 00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,760 Speaker 1: out our website by searching for the Reform Sports Project. 544 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,679 Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to this podcast episode. If you 545 00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:17,560 Speaker 1: were a loved one is in need of help, please 546 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:22,080 Speaker 1: call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at to seven three 547 00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:25,280 Speaker 1: talk that's t a l K, or contact the Crisis 548 00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:28,200 Speaker 1: text line by texting home h O m E to 549 00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:30,480 Speaker 1: seven four one one