WEBVTT - Second Cup: You don't have to finish

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to before breakfast, a production of I heart radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good morning, this is Laura. Welcome to the before breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is that if you're doing something for fun

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<v Speaker 1>and it turns out not to be fun, you can stop.

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<v Speaker 1>Just because you started doesn't mean you have to finish.

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<v Speaker 1>I know that before breakfast listeners are diligent and persistent people,

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<v Speaker 1>so my guess is that many folks listening to this

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<v Speaker 1>have started watching a movie and then realized five minutes

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<v Speaker 1>in that it was going to be a dud. Yet

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<v Speaker 1>you stayed until the end. You have finished books that

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<v Speaker 1>you didn't enjoy. You have eaten a whole order of

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<v Speaker 1>French fries which, from the first bite, was irredeemably cold

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<v Speaker 1>and soggy. You have dutifully shown up at a book

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<v Speaker 1>club every month, even though you dreaded it. What's funny

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<v Speaker 1>about this is that people go to movies, read books,

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<v Speaker 1>eat French fries and make social plans because these things

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<v Speaker 1>are supposed to be enjoyable. It's not like your soul

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<v Speaker 1>was going to be elevated by that action movie or

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<v Speaker 1>that the French fries were going to have any nutritional value.

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<v Speaker 1>They are supposed to be fun full stop. So why

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<v Speaker 1>do we continue doing things that we are supposed to

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<v Speaker 1>enjoy if they are not enjoyable? I've thought about this

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<v Speaker 1>a lot and I suppose sometimes we go on autopilot.

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<v Speaker 1>We stick with what we started because we aren't really

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<v Speaker 1>noticing that we're not getting anything out of it. Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>other times we are hoping against hope that it will

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<v Speaker 1>get better eventually, that next French fry will be hot

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<v Speaker 1>or the next book club get together will be fun.

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<v Speaker 1>And then sometimes we may feel guilty or embarrassed or

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<v Speaker 1>silly that we've sunk time and money into something like

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<v Speaker 1>maybe that flamenco dancing class that we thought we'd like

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<v Speaker 1>but we actually hate. But you know what, even if

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<v Speaker 1>you have bought the shoes and paid for the lessons,

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<v Speaker 1>you can still stop. Sunk costs are sunk. If you

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<v Speaker 1>are not enjoying what you are doing for enjoyment, you

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<v Speaker 1>can walk away. Don't spend any more time in a

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<v Speaker 1>way that you aren't enjoying, as is so often true.

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<v Speaker 1>It is helpful to get clear on your purpose, because

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<v Speaker 1>of course there are plenty of things in life that

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<v Speaker 1>we are obligated to persist in. You probably have to

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<v Speaker 1>persist in your jaw up until you can find a

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<v Speaker 1>new one. You have to persist in a volunteer leadership

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<v Speaker 1>role until you can find a replacement. You have to

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<v Speaker 1>persist in parenting until your kids are grown, even if

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<v Speaker 1>the little angels can turn into little monsters with some regularity.

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<v Speaker 1>There are also things we choose to do for reasons

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<v Speaker 1>beyond enjoyment. Even if you don't like to exercise, you

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<v Speaker 1>may do it anyway to keep your heart healthy. Driving

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<v Speaker 1>a long way to visit an elderly relative may not

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<v Speaker 1>be fun, but you love your relative and you value family,

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<v Speaker 1>so you do it. Perhaps you even hate chopping, but

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<v Speaker 1>you do have to get closed somehow. There are things

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<v Speaker 1>we do out of obligation and things we do for

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<v Speaker 1>higher purposes. But if you are doing something for enjoyment

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<v Speaker 1>and you are not enjoying it, then something is off.

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<v Speaker 1>So remind yourself that it is okay not to finish.

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<v Speaker 1>You can throw away the cold fries, you can quit

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<v Speaker 1>the Tedious Book Club, you can shut the bad book

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<v Speaker 1>or walk away from the boring movie. When you are

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<v Speaker 1>clear on your purpose, you will be able to decide

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<v Speaker 1>what to stick with and what to let go of.

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<v Speaker 1>Is there anything that you think you'd be better off quitting.

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<v Speaker 1>I'd love to hear about it. You can let me

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<v Speaker 1>know at Laura at Laura Vanderkam DOT com. In the meantime,

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<v Speaker 1>this is Laura. Thanks for listening and here's to making

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<v Speaker 1>the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to

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<v Speaker 1>hear from you. You can send me your tips, your

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<v Speaker 1>questions or anything else. Just connect with me on twitter,

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<v Speaker 1>facebook and instagram at before breakfast pod. That's B e,

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<v Speaker 1>the number four, then breakfast P O d. You can

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<v Speaker 1>also shoot me an email at before breakfast podcast at

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<v Speaker 1>I heeart media DOT COM. That before breakfast is spelled

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<v Speaker 1>out with all the letters. Thanks so much. Should I

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<v Speaker 1>look forward to staying in touch. Before breakfast is a

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<v Speaker 1>production of I heart radio. For more podcasts from my

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<v Speaker 1>heart radio, visit the I heart radio APP, apple podcasts

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<v Speaker 1>or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.