Speaker 1: Welcome to before breakfast, a production of I heart radio.
Speaker 1: Good morning, this is Laura. Welcome to the before breakfast podcast.
Speaker 1: Today's tip is that if you're doing something for fun
Speaker 1: and it turns out not to be fun, you can stop.
Speaker 1: Just because you started doesn't mean you have to finish.
Speaker 1: I know that before breakfast listeners are diligent and persistent people,
Speaker 1: so my guess is that many folks listening to this
Speaker 1: have started watching a movie and then realized five minutes
Speaker 1: in that it was going to be a dud. Yet
Speaker 1: you stayed until the end. You have finished books that
Speaker 1: you didn't enjoy. You have eaten a whole order of
Speaker 1: French fries which, from the first bite, was irredeemably cold
Speaker 1: and soggy. You have dutifully shown up at a book
Speaker 1: club every month, even though you dreaded it. What's funny
Speaker 1: about this is that people go to movies, read books,
Speaker 1: eat French fries and make social plans because these things
Speaker 1: are supposed to be enjoyable. It's not like your soul
Speaker 1: was going to be elevated by that action movie or
Speaker 1: that the French fries were going to have any nutritional value.
Speaker 1: They are supposed to be fun full stop. So why
Speaker 1: do we continue doing things that we are supposed to
Speaker 1: enjoy if they are not enjoyable? I've thought about this
Speaker 1: a lot and I suppose sometimes we go on autopilot.
Speaker 1: We stick with what we started because we aren't really
Speaker 1: noticing that we're not getting anything out of it. Maybe
Speaker 1: other times we are hoping against hope that it will
Speaker 1: get better eventually, that next French fry will be hot
Speaker 1: or the next book club get together will be fun.
Speaker 1: And then sometimes we may feel guilty or embarrassed or
Speaker 1: silly that we've sunk time and money into something like
Speaker 1: maybe that flamenco dancing class that we thought we'd like
Speaker 1: but we actually hate. But you know what, even if
Speaker 1: you have bought the shoes and paid for the lessons,
Speaker 1: you can still stop. Sunk costs are sunk. If you
Speaker 1: are not enjoying what you are doing for enjoyment, you
Speaker 1: can walk away. Don't spend any more time in a
Speaker 1: way that you aren't enjoying, as is so often true.
Speaker 1: It is helpful to get clear on your purpose, because
Speaker 1: of course there are plenty of things in life that
Speaker 1: we are obligated to persist in. You probably have to
Speaker 1: persist in your jaw up until you can find a
Speaker 1: new one. You have to persist in a volunteer leadership
Speaker 1: role until you can find a replacement. You have to
Speaker 1: persist in parenting until your kids are grown, even if
Speaker 1: the little angels can turn into little monsters with some regularity.
Speaker 1: There are also things we choose to do for reasons
Speaker 1: beyond enjoyment. Even if you don't like to exercise, you
Speaker 1: may do it anyway to keep your heart healthy. Driving
Speaker 1: a long way to visit an elderly relative may not
Speaker 1: be fun, but you love your relative and you value family,
Speaker 1: so you do it. Perhaps you even hate chopping, but
Speaker 1: you do have to get closed somehow. There are things
Speaker 1: we do out of obligation and things we do for
Speaker 1: higher purposes. But if you are doing something for enjoyment
Speaker 1: and you are not enjoying it, then something is off.
Speaker 1: So remind yourself that it is okay not to finish.
Speaker 1: You can throw away the cold fries, you can quit
Speaker 1: the Tedious Book Club, you can shut the bad book
Speaker 1: or walk away from the boring movie. When you are
Speaker 1: clear on your purpose, you will be able to decide
Speaker 1: what to stick with and what to let go of.
Speaker 1: Is there anything that you think you'd be better off quitting.
Speaker 1: I'd love to hear about it. You can let me
Speaker 1: know at Laura at Laura Vanderkam DOT com. In the meantime,
Speaker 1: this is Laura. Thanks for listening and here's to making
Speaker 1: the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to
Speaker 1: hear from you. You can send me your tips, your
Speaker 1: questions or anything else. Just connect with me on twitter,
Speaker 1: facebook and instagram at before breakfast pod. That's B e,
Speaker 1: the number four, then breakfast P O d. You can
Speaker 1: also shoot me an email at before breakfast podcast at
Speaker 1: I heeart media DOT COM. That before breakfast is spelled
Speaker 1: out with all the letters. Thanks so much. Should I
Speaker 1: look forward to staying in touch. Before breakfast is a
Speaker 1: production of I heart radio. For more podcasts from my
Speaker 1: heart radio, visit the I heart radio APP, apple podcasts
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.