1 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:06,760 Speaker 1: Welcome to before breakfast, a production of I heart radio. 2 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:15,720 Speaker 1: Good morning, this is Laura. Welcome to the before breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:20,360 Speaker 1: Today's tip is that if you're doing something for fun 4 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:25,400 Speaker 1: and it turns out not to be fun, you can stop. 5 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:32,720 Speaker 1: Just because you started doesn't mean you have to finish. 6 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:37,520 Speaker 1: I know that before breakfast listeners are diligent and persistent people, 7 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:41,640 Speaker 1: so my guess is that many folks listening to this 8 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:46,120 Speaker 1: have started watching a movie and then realized five minutes 9 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:49,760 Speaker 1: in that it was going to be a dud. Yet 10 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:55,040 Speaker 1: you stayed until the end. You have finished books that 11 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:59,200 Speaker 1: you didn't enjoy. You have eaten a whole order of 12 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:03,800 Speaker 1: French fries which, from the first bite, was irredeemably cold 13 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:08,000 Speaker 1: and soggy. You have dutifully shown up at a book 14 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:14,160 Speaker 1: club every month, even though you dreaded it. What's funny 15 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:17,560 Speaker 1: about this is that people go to movies, read books, 16 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:21,960 Speaker 1: eat French fries and make social plans because these things 17 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:26,160 Speaker 1: are supposed to be enjoyable. It's not like your soul 18 00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:29,360 Speaker 1: was going to be elevated by that action movie or 19 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:32,640 Speaker 1: that the French fries were going to have any nutritional value. 20 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:39,280 Speaker 1: They are supposed to be fun full stop. So why 21 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:42,120 Speaker 1: do we continue doing things that we are supposed to 22 00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:48,200 Speaker 1: enjoy if they are not enjoyable? I've thought about this 23 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 1: a lot and I suppose sometimes we go on autopilot. 24 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,480 Speaker 1: We stick with what we started because we aren't really 25 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:59,520 Speaker 1: noticing that we're not getting anything out of it. Maybe 26 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:02,320 Speaker 1: other times we are hoping against hope that it will 27 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:06,400 Speaker 1: get better eventually, that next French fry will be hot 28 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:09,360 Speaker 1: or the next book club get together will be fun. 29 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:14,200 Speaker 1: And then sometimes we may feel guilty or embarrassed or 30 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:18,680 Speaker 1: silly that we've sunk time and money into something like 31 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:22,240 Speaker 1: maybe that flamenco dancing class that we thought we'd like 32 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:27,920 Speaker 1: but we actually hate. But you know what, even if 33 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:30,160 Speaker 1: you have bought the shoes and paid for the lessons, 34 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:36,400 Speaker 1: you can still stop. Sunk costs are sunk. If you 35 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:40,120 Speaker 1: are not enjoying what you are doing for enjoyment, you 36 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:44,480 Speaker 1: can walk away. Don't spend any more time in a 37 00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:49,320 Speaker 1: way that you aren't enjoying, as is so often true. 38 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:52,560 Speaker 1: It is helpful to get clear on your purpose, because 39 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:54,640 Speaker 1: of course there are plenty of things in life that 40 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:58,800 Speaker 1: we are obligated to persist in. You probably have to 41 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:01,120 Speaker 1: persist in your jaw up until you can find a 42 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:04,880 Speaker 1: new one. You have to persist in a volunteer leadership 43 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:09,040 Speaker 1: role until you can find a replacement. You have to 44 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:14,080 Speaker 1: persist in parenting until your kids are grown, even if 45 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:19,240 Speaker 1: the little angels can turn into little monsters with some regularity. 46 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,480 Speaker 1: There are also things we choose to do for reasons 47 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:27,880 Speaker 1: beyond enjoyment. Even if you don't like to exercise, you 48 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:32,240 Speaker 1: may do it anyway to keep your heart healthy. Driving 49 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:34,600 Speaker 1: a long way to visit an elderly relative may not 50 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:38,760 Speaker 1: be fun, but you love your relative and you value family, 51 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:43,840 Speaker 1: so you do it. Perhaps you even hate chopping, but 52 00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:47,640 Speaker 1: you do have to get closed somehow. There are things 53 00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:51,040 Speaker 1: we do out of obligation and things we do for 54 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:55,320 Speaker 1: higher purposes. But if you are doing something for enjoyment 55 00:03:56,120 --> 00:04:00,720 Speaker 1: and you are not enjoying it, then something is off. 56 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:05,560 Speaker 1: So remind yourself that it is okay not to finish. 57 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:10,000 Speaker 1: You can throw away the cold fries, you can quit 58 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:13,600 Speaker 1: the Tedious Book Club, you can shut the bad book 59 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:16,920 Speaker 1: or walk away from the boring movie. When you are 60 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:20,520 Speaker 1: clear on your purpose, you will be able to decide 61 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:23,359 Speaker 1: what to stick with and what to let go of. 62 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:27,800 Speaker 1: Is there anything that you think you'd be better off quitting. 63 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:31,320 Speaker 1: I'd love to hear about it. You can let me 64 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:38,320 Speaker 1: know at Laura at Laura Vanderkam DOT com. In the meantime, 65 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:43,839 Speaker 1: this is Laura. Thanks for listening and here's to making 66 00:04:43,839 --> 00:04:53,640 Speaker 1: the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to 67 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:56,000 Speaker 1: hear from you. You can send me your tips, your 68 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:59,560 Speaker 1: questions or anything else. Just connect with me on twitter, 69 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:04,640 Speaker 1: facebook and instagram at before breakfast pod. That's B e, 70 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:09,480 Speaker 1: the number four, then breakfast P O d. You can 71 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:13,040 Speaker 1: also shoot me an email at before breakfast podcast at 72 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:16,039 Speaker 1: I heeart media DOT COM. That before breakfast is spelled 73 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:18,560 Speaker 1: out with all the letters. Thanks so much. Should I 74 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:26,640 Speaker 1: look forward to staying in touch. Before breakfast is a 75 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:29,880 Speaker 1: production of I heart radio. For more podcasts from my 76 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:33,840 Speaker 1: heart radio, visit the I heart radio APP, apple podcasts 77 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:35,960 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.