WEBVTT - Two Christmases with Mike Caussin 0:00:01.960 --> 0:00:05.359 Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm heart Radio podcast. 0:00:06.840 --> 0:00:10.639 All right, So well, I don't even know how to 0:00:10.680 --> 0:00:13.680 start this one because this is a the girls aren't here. 0:00:15.080 --> 0:00:16.960 I didn't want to subject the girls to this again, 0:00:18.200 --> 0:00:19.040 but so what. 0:00:18.960 --> 0:00:21.479 Do you because you guys do what once. 0:00:21.320 --> 0:00:26.000 Week with the girls and I do the wind Down, right, 0:00:26.040 --> 0:00:30.120 and then we do adult Education, which is on Wednesdays. 0:00:30.280 --> 0:00:32.840 I can't remember. It's always kind of a moving target. 0:00:32.840 --> 0:00:34.800 But so there's two episodes a week through the wind 0:00:34.800 --> 0:00:40.520 Down umbrella. So one is then I've got adult education education, yes, 0:00:41.479 --> 0:00:44.839 and so it's not that the girls didn't want to 0:00:44.880 --> 0:00:47.720 come today to today's show, but I feel like, you know, 0:00:47.760 --> 0:00:52.960 we've already yeah, and I just you know, I figured 0:00:53.120 --> 0:00:56.440 what better way to just have my now husband and 0:00:56.520 --> 0:00:59.960 ex husband on wind Down? Make it really full circle, 0:01:00.720 --> 0:01:01.320 really fun. 0:01:01.640 --> 0:01:06.160 I've noticed what Mike's got a podcast voice. Yes, Softensy's 0:01:06.240 --> 0:01:07.880 voice up for a podcast. 0:01:10.000 --> 0:01:12.679 I have to otherwise it's my voice can be a lot. 0:01:14.480 --> 0:01:15.600 It's just learned. 0:01:17.520 --> 0:01:20.600 And we're still learning to just o coachman. 0:01:21.000 --> 0:01:22.840 The mic is fine. My voice travels. 0:01:24.360 --> 0:01:25.000 He's a coach. 0:01:26.440 --> 0:01:29.080 But anyways, it's been about a year since we've had 0:01:29.480 --> 0:01:33.160 Mike Cosson on the podcast, so we figured a little 0:01:33.240 --> 0:01:36.680 yearly anniversary. Welcome back to wind Down. Thanks for having me, 0:01:37.040 --> 0:01:43.760 of course, Alan, you were last minute add for this show. 0:01:45.880 --> 0:01:47.600 Would you like to discuss? 0:01:48.520 --> 0:01:55.000 Would I like to discuss? Yes, it's almost like I 0:01:55.040 --> 0:01:59.919 don't want to and a fear and it just feels 0:01:59.920 --> 0:02:02.720 it feels weird the three of us sitting here does 0:02:02.760 --> 0:02:07.320 it not in an awkward way. But I'm almost like, Okay, 0:02:07.360 --> 0:02:09.680 if you guys would get copearings and stuff to raise 0:02:09.720 --> 0:02:12.360 and discuss, then go ahead, go. 0:02:12.360 --> 0:02:15.640 Ahead and do it. I don't need to. Yeah. 0:02:16.080 --> 0:02:18.680 Almost feels a little bit not awkward, a weird because 0:02:18.680 --> 0:02:21.480 we've got a good relationship, right, but almost like ends 0:02:21.520 --> 0:02:22.320 up feeding. 0:02:23.639 --> 0:02:24.400 And interestive. 0:02:25.400 --> 0:02:26.680 Well, I don't want you to feel awkward. 0:02:27.120 --> 0:02:28.880 No, no, I just told you I don't feel. 0:02:28.960 --> 0:02:30.400 Oh no, I thought you said it's awkward. 0:02:30.600 --> 0:02:32.640 No, no, I said it's not awkward. 0:02:32.919 --> 0:02:33.840 Oh okay, I. 0:02:33.800 --> 0:02:36.560 Get what he's saying. But that just is a testament 0:02:36.600 --> 0:02:39.080 to I think, you know, on his half of things, 0:02:39.160 --> 0:02:42.639 why we're able to have the relationship as a three 0:02:42.720 --> 0:02:45.400 S company that we do, because there's other people that 0:02:45.440 --> 0:02:49.760 wouldn't that would include themselves, maybe in situations that they 0:02:49.760 --> 0:02:52.520 don't need to be included. Yeah, right, where it's like 0:02:52.840 --> 0:02:55.400 the new partner, the new husband, the new wife is 0:02:55.400 --> 0:02:59.000 like helping make decisions that maybe isn't up to them 0:02:59.720 --> 0:03:04.200 but kind of like stay in his lane. But also 0:03:04.480 --> 0:03:06.679 I embrace you coming into being a part of it too. 0:03:06.720 --> 0:03:09.400 So oh, that's just one of the beginning kind of 0:03:09.720 --> 0:03:11.400 things with all of this of why we've been able 0:03:11.440 --> 0:03:12.440 to have a good relationship. 0:03:13.280 --> 0:03:16.560 Yeah, and I think to bring it back to where 0:03:16.680 --> 0:03:20.200 you even when I did bring up the hey, I'm 0:03:20.200 --> 0:03:22.120 thinking about having Mike come back on the show. He 0:03:22.200 --> 0:03:26.640 kind of wanted to discuss work and we can we 0:03:26.720 --> 0:03:29.840 have topics that I think could help people because our 0:03:29.880 --> 0:03:32.760 mission was always to help other people through things that 0:03:32.800 --> 0:03:37.320 we've gone through, and so sometimes threading that and walking 0:03:37.320 --> 0:03:40.280 that line has been challenging and stuff. And I feel like, 0:03:40.720 --> 0:03:44.200 and this isn't anything against you, Mike, but and I 0:03:44.480 --> 0:03:46.800 don't want to speak for you, so please join in 0:03:47.000 --> 0:03:50.400 on this piece of it. But even when I did 0:03:50.440 --> 0:03:52.400 bring it up, you're you have more of like that 0:03:52.480 --> 0:04:02.440 old school mentality love like boundaries where you're like, why 0:04:02.040 --> 0:04:04.120 why do you want them on or have him come on? 0:04:04.760 --> 0:04:09.480 Why do you want. I'm I think it's clear. 0:04:09.520 --> 0:04:11.720 I'm a pretty private person, So I'm like, why do 0:04:11.720 --> 0:04:14.760 you want to discuss this stuff on a podcast? I 0:04:14.800 --> 0:04:21.119 don't get it. That's what my stance was. Nothing against 0:04:21.200 --> 0:04:25.920 Mike at all, but my stance is that's an in house, 0:04:26.000 --> 0:04:29.440 private thing that runs between the three of us and 0:04:29.560 --> 0:04:34.360 runs well. So one, there's not going to be any 0:04:34.400 --> 0:04:37.760 controversy behind it or on this podcast unless something there's 0:04:37.839 --> 0:04:41.080 raised that I don't know about, or two is. 0:04:42.800 --> 0:04:43.560 Yeah, that's my thing. 0:04:43.600 --> 0:04:46.000 Like it's a private way in which we do think, 0:04:46.040 --> 0:04:47.919 So why why air it? 0:04:48.000 --> 0:04:51.360 That was my first response, and I said I'd come back. 0:04:51.200 --> 0:04:54.400 To you on it, didn't I yeah, because I didn't 0:04:54.440 --> 0:04:56.719 even know until last night that Mike was coming on. 0:05:02.160 --> 0:05:06.880 Thank you well again I eliminated. I'm like, Okay, this 0:05:06.920 --> 0:05:10.599 is where it's a hard line to walk, right, because 0:05:11.760 --> 0:05:18.040 I understand honoring and respecting your stance on it and 0:05:18.279 --> 0:05:21.240 also going I think it's then it's the stance that 0:05:21.279 --> 0:05:23.480 I take is I have this podcast to help other 0:05:23.520 --> 0:05:28.000 people to be able to have conversations, tough conversations at times. 0:05:28.120 --> 0:05:33.200 We've had many of those. And then to go, okay, 0:05:33.680 --> 0:05:37.680 I think there are conversations about how we have co 0:05:37.839 --> 0:05:42.080 parented because we know so many that are struggling in 0:05:42.120 --> 0:05:45.320 that area. So, Okay, we don't have the perfect relationship 0:05:45.920 --> 0:05:49.280 Mike and I, but it's you know, it's an ongoing 0:05:49.360 --> 0:05:52.200 and trying to communicate. Yeah, and so I think we 0:05:52.320 --> 0:05:54.520 know we're not meeting in a parking lot, though nothing 0:05:54.520 --> 0:05:56.600 against those people that do that. We were almost there 0:05:56.960 --> 0:05:59.880 at that point to exchange kids. But you know, I 0:06:00.080 --> 0:06:03.560 think there's ways to be able to have conversations. And 0:06:03.600 --> 0:06:07.479 that's why I didn't end up saying anything because I'm like, 0:06:07.560 --> 0:06:09.440 I don't I'm not going to be like, babe, you 0:06:09.480 --> 0:06:12.479 have to come on. So you were free to sit 0:06:12.560 --> 0:06:15.560 out if you wanted to. And if you were like, Babe, 0:06:15.560 --> 0:06:18.320 absolutely not, then obviously I wouldn't. I would have respected that. 0:06:19.000 --> 0:06:20.880 I think if Mike and I have again to see 0:06:20.920 --> 0:06:25.440 each other, they've been said privately, not on the podcast. Yeah, well, 0:06:25.480 --> 0:06:32.080 if that can help others navigate situations like this, then yeah, 0:06:32.320 --> 0:06:32.720 let's do. 0:06:38.480 --> 0:06:41.600 This is great from the expert of cooperiencing. 0:06:43.160 --> 0:06:45.920 Listen. And that's the thing. It's not all perfect, right, 0:06:45.920 --> 0:06:48.640 and there's different I think there's different seasons of co 0:06:48.800 --> 0:06:53.080 parenting and relationships. It is hard to co parent with 0:06:53.120 --> 0:06:57.599 someone you don't like. You got divorced because of an issue, 0:06:58.240 --> 0:07:01.800 so it's then you're forced and co parent with someone 0:07:01.960 --> 0:07:06.400 you don't like respect have issues with, and that have 0:07:07.240 --> 0:07:11.840 two different sides of anger and resentment and bitterness and 0:07:11.920 --> 0:07:16.480 so but then yeah, go ahead communicate, Like it's such 0:07:16.520 --> 0:07:19.280 a hard thing for so many to do. So you're 0:07:19.320 --> 0:07:23.240 not alone in that alone, nor were having a hard 0:07:23.280 --> 0:07:33.320 time with co parenting. No, I know, yeah, but so 0:07:34.000 --> 0:07:35.960 but I will say again though, too, you are just 0:07:36.080 --> 0:07:41.120 more of a like for example, when you were coming 0:07:41.160 --> 0:07:44.600 in you know Mike's and this is just the relationship 0:07:44.600 --> 0:07:47.080 that we've cultivated anyways. I mean, there may be should 0:07:47.120 --> 0:07:49.320 have been boundary set, but like you're just like walking 0:07:49.320 --> 0:07:51.400 in the house, and I think at first, like for Alan, 0:07:51.520 --> 0:07:53.600 he's like what you know what I mean, Like it's 0:07:53.680 --> 0:07:56.520 like a. 0:07:55.360 --> 0:07:58.960 Which is which I still have my moments of like 0:07:59.000 --> 0:08:02.960 hesitation and all that with I mean, with all of this, 0:08:03.360 --> 0:08:05.200 whether it's the podcast, whether it's coming to the house, 0:08:05.240 --> 0:08:08.200 and even when I Jannel, when I texted you about 0:08:08.320 --> 0:08:11.880 maybe doing this, that's my if it was just you, 0:08:11.920 --> 0:08:13.960 I'm like, hey, let's freaking do this like, come on, like, 0:08:14.040 --> 0:08:16.840 let's talk about these things, let's talk about co parenting whatever. Yeah, 0:08:16.880 --> 0:08:19.840 any reservation I have is because of like my respect 0:08:19.840 --> 0:08:22.640 for Alan, right, because it's like, this is y'all's house, 0:08:22.840 --> 0:08:26.200 this is y'all's marriage. I'm here on the side. I'm like, hey, 0:08:26.240 --> 0:08:28.320 if you want to do this, like maybe we could. 0:08:28.480 --> 0:08:28.640 Well. 0:08:28.680 --> 0:08:31.280 You also in the text message you said, hey, what 0:08:31.320 --> 0:08:33.760 do you think about this? And also to bring out 0:08:33.960 --> 0:08:36.280 like we can do it on Alan yours an Alan show, 0:08:36.520 --> 0:08:38.720 so you were very respectful of that too, of course, 0:08:39.040 --> 0:08:42.160 and he always this, Yeah, but it's just funny because 0:08:42.240 --> 0:08:44.520 it is like the two where I'm kind of sometimes 0:08:44.600 --> 0:08:48.040 I feel a little stuck in the middle where Intio 0:08:48.840 --> 0:08:54.360 like the boundaries of things like well, uh like let's 0:08:54.360 --> 0:08:55.840 just say early on when he would just like walk 0:08:55.880 --> 0:08:56.360 in the house. 0:08:56.720 --> 0:09:02.960 Yeah, but that's that's because I'm used to a different 0:09:03.000 --> 0:09:09.240 type of corpiiting, right, So right, not to be bad anyone, 0:09:09.280 --> 0:09:11.640 but I'm used to I'm used to the. 0:09:13.360 --> 0:09:17.000 Drop the kads off and picked them up style of 0:09:17.040 --> 0:09:21.120 Corpi thing. That's that's my experience of it. So when 0:09:21.280 --> 0:09:24.920 I used to come swarming in the house up like Okay. 0:09:27.160 --> 0:09:28.880 I'm sitting down and hey, that's what's going on. 0:09:29.880 --> 0:09:33.280 It hang out, and then I'm just like I just 0:09:33.320 --> 0:09:35.360 want everyone to get along and be happy, and like 0:09:35.480 --> 0:09:37.040 I don't want to be like, hey, I need you 0:09:37.080 --> 0:09:38.720 to knock on the I need you to ring the 0:09:38.720 --> 0:09:41.880 doorbell because you know it's so it puts then me 0:09:41.920 --> 0:09:44.120 in an uncomfortable situation because I just want everyone to 0:09:44.120 --> 0:09:46.160 get along. And then I don't want conflict between us, 0:09:46.160 --> 0:09:47.600 because then I don't want you to hate him for 0:09:47.800 --> 0:09:53.400 like maybe his more stronger, uh or not stronger. 0:09:54.200 --> 0:09:58.240 It's just a different perception of like the way you 0:09:58.280 --> 0:10:02.320 guys Corpien is nice. It's nice, but not everyone has 0:10:02.360 --> 0:10:04.960 got that. Not everybody's got the luxury. And you you 0:10:05.160 --> 0:10:08.880 to be fair to you both. You've you compromise, you 0:10:09.040 --> 0:10:12.280 discuss things, you communicate well, and you have your moments 0:10:12.280 --> 0:10:14.800 as everyone does. But then the day it's always like 0:10:15.000 --> 0:10:18.240 ninety five percent of the time it's healthy. Whereas I 0:10:18.280 --> 0:10:23.120 think cole parenting in general, make sure I use that 0:10:23.120 --> 0:10:28.200 word in general is five percent healthy and ninety five 0:10:28.200 --> 0:10:29.120 percent unhealthy. 0:10:30.240 --> 0:10:31.360 And I believe that. 0:10:32.559 --> 0:10:34.960 Why do you think that is Well. 0:10:34.840 --> 0:10:38.079 There's others a bias in my opinion because of my 0:10:38.200 --> 0:10:41.360 experience with co parenting, which is now in a place 0:10:41.360 --> 0:10:45.440 where it's a lot better. I just I don't hear 0:10:45.559 --> 0:10:49.200 many stories of nice co parenting situations. 0:10:49.320 --> 0:10:52.800 I really don't. You know, what was your biggest like 0:10:55.080 --> 0:10:59.400 fear or concern when you guys really start to get 0:10:59.400 --> 0:11:02.080 serious and you knew our lives we're gonna blend like 0:11:02.160 --> 0:11:04.600 Allen and I did you have like any just off 0:11:04.600 --> 0:11:06.960 the top of your head, Man, I'm really worried about this. 0:11:07.880 --> 0:11:09.400 Well, I mean, I'm glad you're not showing up in 0:11:09.400 --> 0:11:11.920 the window knocking on the door or knocking on the windows. 0:11:12.679 --> 0:11:19.720 It's a dark day, John, make say the game. 0:11:26.679 --> 0:11:30.320 That was pre Allen, that was very very pre very 0:11:30.360 --> 0:11:35.400 early on. Yeah, very pre but that was a wild time. 0:11:37.080 --> 0:11:39.160 That that feels like so long ago. 0:11:39.360 --> 0:11:42.880 But I and that we all have like our crazy 0:11:43.040 --> 0:11:46.040 moments obviously, but it's something to be said for It's 0:11:46.080 --> 0:11:49.000 really hard when people start dating after divorce because when 0:11:49.000 --> 0:11:52.160 it involves kids, because you just kind of start to 0:11:52.240 --> 0:11:57.559 spiral and you you like don't have any control over anything, 0:11:58.200 --> 0:12:02.040 and so it's it's hard. But in this situation, you 0:12:02.120 --> 0:12:02.439 say that. 0:12:02.520 --> 0:12:05.840 Question again, So what was just when you knew, like 0:12:05.920 --> 0:12:07.840 Alan was coming into your life and then things are 0:12:07.840 --> 0:12:10.120 getting serious and I was meeting Alan, he was around 0:12:10.120 --> 0:12:13.880 the kids. What was your concern with really of just like, Okay, 0:12:13.920 --> 0:12:15.320 this is the person I'm going to be with, this 0:12:15.400 --> 0:12:18.840 is my person. I eat Alan. Now we have to 0:12:18.920 --> 0:12:22.440 blend all of this together, well, Like, was there anything 0:12:22.679 --> 0:12:24.480 noticeable that you were worried about. 0:12:24.679 --> 0:12:27.440 I think my own worry was trusting myself that I 0:12:27.520 --> 0:12:30.000 was making the right that I wasn't that I didn't 0:12:30.000 --> 0:12:32.520 want to mess up again. That's my first when I 0:12:32.520 --> 0:12:35.640 think of when I think back to that is I 0:12:35.640 --> 0:12:38.560 I almost didn't want you to be like, oh, you know, 0:12:38.960 --> 0:12:41.840 you messed up again and you introduced the kids to 0:12:41.920 --> 0:12:47.080 someone to somebody else, And that would probably be the 0:12:47.080 --> 0:12:49.480 first piece that I would think of, because I didn't 0:12:50.080 --> 0:12:52.800 I didn't want to mess up again, and I didn't 0:12:52.800 --> 0:12:56.920 want to put the kids through blending and then something happening. 0:12:59.120 --> 0:13:04.160 But I would say between, I mean this situation again, 0:13:04.280 --> 0:13:08.760 I I don't like I don't I And I think 0:13:08.760 --> 0:13:13.199 that's why I'm was blurry maybe with boundaries of certain things, 0:13:13.240 --> 0:13:17.560 because I just don't want any like negativity. I just 0:13:17.600 --> 0:13:20.200 wanted you everyone to get along, and honestly, what my 0:13:20.200 --> 0:13:24.800 biggest thing was is I know how you're you're just 0:13:24.960 --> 0:13:29.640 more of a Alan speaking to him, is you're you 0:13:29.880 --> 0:13:32.720 are more old school with a lot of things, and 0:13:32.800 --> 0:13:36.520 so because of the situations that you've dealt with, it 0:13:36.640 --> 0:13:38.800 was hard to go, Okay, well, now we're in such 0:13:38.800 --> 0:13:41.320 a great spot. I don't want to have to like 0:13:41.400 --> 0:13:46.439 and now I have to like try to manage everybody's 0:13:46.440 --> 0:13:50.319 and respecting because I didn't want you to not like him, 0:13:50.320 --> 0:13:51.840 and I didn't want him to not like you, And 0:13:51.840 --> 0:13:53.080 then I just wanted to be like, can we y'all 0:13:53.120 --> 0:13:53.760 just get along? 0:13:53.920 --> 0:13:57.240 And so I think I think when you bring two 0:13:57.320 --> 0:14:01.720 reasonable people together always end up in reason. I think 0:14:01.760 --> 0:14:05.360 if you've got one person who is an unreasonable person, 0:14:05.720 --> 0:14:08.080 which a lot of people are, then you'll always have 0:14:08.200 --> 0:14:12.559 some sort of fight, a battle. But I think I'm 0:14:12.600 --> 0:14:14.280 at an age now. I think I've always been a 0:14:14.280 --> 0:14:17.000 reasonable person, but I'm an age now where okay, I 0:14:17.040 --> 0:14:20.320 can see the reason and things and as long as 0:14:20.400 --> 0:14:24.200 in Mike is a reasonable person in my opinion from 0:14:24.240 --> 0:14:26.960 what I've seen in the past the past two years. 0:14:27.000 --> 0:14:30.760 So I think there was a willingness from Mike that 0:14:30.960 --> 0:14:32.840 for it to work and there's a willingness for me 0:14:33.160 --> 0:14:34.960 to make it work, so therefore there was always going 0:14:35.000 --> 0:14:36.120 to be a good balance with it. 0:14:37.920 --> 0:14:41.280 Yeah, and I think I think it was hard too, 0:14:41.360 --> 0:14:46.160 because I wanted I wanted you both to like each other. 0:14:46.400 --> 0:14:49.280 Where it was like and where he helped me with 0:14:49.440 --> 0:14:51.200 is like there can be a level respect or it 0:14:51.240 --> 0:14:53.360 doesn't have to be best friends, but there will be 0:14:53.400 --> 0:14:56.320 a level of respect, you know, And just like with 0:14:56.840 --> 0:15:00.480 you know, whatever relationship you end up with, like she 0:15:00.480 --> 0:15:02.200 doesn't need to be my best friend, but there will 0:15:02.240 --> 0:15:04.120 always be a level of respect for each other. And 0:15:04.160 --> 0:15:07.080 I think you guys have a really nice blend of respect. 0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:09.960 You might not understand certain things about each other or 0:15:10.040 --> 0:15:12.280 vice versa, but there at least there's a level of 0:15:12.600 --> 0:15:16.120 respect and knowing he's the father of you know, our 0:15:16.200 --> 0:15:17.680 kids and everything like that. 0:15:18.320 --> 0:15:18.880 He's a good guy. 0:15:20.360 --> 0:15:21.240 We'll keep him around. 0:15:22.400 --> 0:15:23.600 Were you worried about anything? 0:15:25.280 --> 0:15:29.760 The biggest thing was what your point was like. And 0:15:29.760 --> 0:15:31.960 that's why I told anybody that would ask me or 0:15:32.120 --> 0:15:33.880 close to me, it's like, you know, how do you 0:15:34.040 --> 0:15:37.560 like Alan or the newer I'm just like, for the 0:15:37.640 --> 0:15:41.760 kid's sake, I hope it works above all. And then 0:15:42.440 --> 0:15:45.200 getting to see y'all's relationship, getting to see you know, 0:15:45.760 --> 0:15:49.080 how he makes you feel, feeling the energy in the 0:15:49.120 --> 0:15:50.880 house and all that kind of stuff. And then just 0:15:52.520 --> 0:15:55.480 the path that the three of our relationship has been 0:15:55.520 --> 0:15:58.800 able to go is it's depleted any worry that I 0:15:58.840 --> 0:16:03.520 ever had really Obviously the number one thing is the kids. 0:16:03.520 --> 0:16:06.000 So the fact that they have this stability with you, guys, 0:16:06.080 --> 0:16:07.040 is is great. 0:16:19.960 --> 0:16:21.880 What do you think this is for both of you? Guys? 0:16:22.080 --> 0:16:26.480 Has been the hardest challenge for you personally co parenting? 0:16:28.400 --> 0:16:29.320 Who wants to go first? 0:16:31.400 --> 0:16:35.440 I think it's been a pretty seamless co patenting situation 0:16:35.600 --> 0:16:36.880 because I. 0:16:36.920 --> 0:16:38.640 Mean in your personal if you want to talk about 0:16:38.640 --> 0:16:39.240 it too, like what. 0:16:40.560 --> 0:16:43.560 You talking about it was co parents and Jolie and Jayson. 0:16:47.240 --> 0:16:49.440 So I think it's been seamless one because the kids 0:16:49.440 --> 0:16:51.960 are really nice kids and have been raised properly. So 0:16:52.040 --> 0:16:53.560 it makes it I have said that to you from 0:16:53.600 --> 0:16:59.400 day one, if you running around with a couple of brats, 0:16:59.400 --> 0:17:06.399 how they've been like m hm, So again that that's 0:17:06.600 --> 0:17:09.480 such an easy, seamless scenario because the kids are so 0:17:09.640 --> 0:17:17.160 kind and nice and monoy. And then the respects side 0:17:17.200 --> 0:17:22.560 of Mike and Eye's relationship. When I met, I was like, Okay, 0:17:22.560 --> 0:17:24.119 it's good that I can work with us. 0:17:26.920 --> 0:17:27.960 What was your question. 0:17:27.720 --> 0:17:30.440 Again, what's been the hardest challenge co parenting? 0:17:30.680 --> 0:17:33.760 All this challenge, I'll say for me at least being 0:17:33.800 --> 0:17:40.080 like the biological side of things is I never envisioned 0:17:40.359 --> 0:17:43.520 not having my kids every single day, right, Like, I 0:17:43.560 --> 0:17:45.320 know my great dad. You guys know my great dad. 0:17:45.400 --> 0:17:47.280 Everyone that knows me knows I'm a great dad. That's 0:17:47.320 --> 0:17:49.520 one thing I can kind of stand behind for sure. 0:17:50.800 --> 0:17:54.159 And so knowing that there's obviously a lot of times 0:17:54.200 --> 0:17:58.720 where I'm not there and you're helping them do things 0:17:58.760 --> 0:18:02.800 that a father would do you, I'm thankful that it's 0:18:02.920 --> 0:18:06.280 you because I like you as a person, I respect you, 0:18:06.280 --> 0:18:10.760 you know, I love y'all's relationship. But there's no matter 0:18:10.760 --> 0:18:13.280 who you put in your in your shoes as the 0:18:13.320 --> 0:18:16.639 biological father, it still is like, man, this sucks like 0:18:16.960 --> 0:18:20.000 it is like there's there's no substitute for that. And 0:18:20.080 --> 0:18:23.879 so that's the hardest part. No matter how great all 0:18:23.920 --> 0:18:26.600 of our relationship is, I just know I'm not with 0:18:26.720 --> 0:18:29.000 him every day and that sucks. It is what it is. 0:18:29.040 --> 0:18:31.199 Yeah, there's a gap that someone else is filling. I 0:18:31.200 --> 0:18:34.760 think it's tough for any father or mother in that situation. 0:18:37.359 --> 0:18:39.560 But going back to it, I think the dynamic between 0:18:39.560 --> 0:18:42.639 the three of us is fine and everyone's intentions are 0:18:43.080 --> 0:18:49.119 pure absolutely, So going back to the biggest challenge, I 0:18:49.160 --> 0:18:52.080 don't I don't think those I don't think there's a 0:18:52.080 --> 0:18:55.800 time where I've sat and thought that's just so challenging 0:18:56.520 --> 0:19:01.680 that particular part. Apart from makestraw and in the house 0:19:01.720 --> 0:19:06.600 without knocking on the door, there's not been a point 0:19:06.640 --> 0:19:12.239 where I'm like, I'm struggling with us. Yeah, and if 0:19:12.320 --> 0:19:15.159 that is enough forgot about it, then you can remaind me. 0:19:17.000 --> 0:19:25.679 No, I think for me what is challenging is and 0:19:25.920 --> 0:19:28.440 I don't know if you've I know you don't listen 0:19:28.480 --> 0:19:34.040 to wind down Mike. But it's hard because though we're 0:19:34.080 --> 0:19:40.720 so removed, there's still things that come up emotionally and uh, 0:19:41.000 --> 0:19:43.320 you know, like something came up for me in therapy 0:19:43.560 --> 0:19:50.080 a couple weeks ago, and it's hard to co parent 0:19:50.320 --> 0:19:53.240 when those feelings come up, you know, because I want 0:19:53.280 --> 0:19:57.359 to just come, you know, get on the phone and 0:19:57.400 --> 0:20:00.119 just be like that I hate you, you know this 0:20:00.000 --> 0:20:02.919 this is coming up and why is this coming up. 0:20:03.280 --> 0:20:05.560 But it's so I think it's like sometimes separating when 0:20:05.600 --> 0:20:08.080 you're still some past things like might come up. And 0:20:08.080 --> 0:20:09.040 then obviously we have. 0:20:11.119 --> 0:20:18.160 You know, yeah, we still have obstacles that as parenting 0:20:18.240 --> 0:20:20.040 as well as we do it together. We still have 0:20:20.080 --> 0:20:24.080 obstacles with things and that we work on, will continue 0:20:24.080 --> 0:20:27.200 to work on and all of that. But and it 0:20:27.240 --> 0:20:28.119 could always be worse. 0:20:28.440 --> 0:20:30.879 What do you find works best for co parenting? 0:20:32.080 --> 0:20:33.639 Kind of to touch on what Alan said, right, like 0:20:33.680 --> 0:20:37.760 being reasonable people and so it is it's you're removing 0:20:37.800 --> 0:20:42.280 the emotion out of it and giving credit where credits do. 0:20:42.359 --> 0:20:46.200 It's like, Okay, are my kids healthy? Yes? Are they safe? Yes? 0:20:46.840 --> 0:20:49.560 Are they in a good home? Yes, like no matter 0:20:49.560 --> 0:20:52.000 whether your house or my house? Are they fed? Are 0:20:52.000 --> 0:20:56.879 they like the essential things? It's like making it elementary 0:20:57.000 --> 0:21:02.520 in my mind helps alleviate, like from like ruminating on 0:21:02.560 --> 0:21:07.480 the emotional. Just my kids are fine, they're healthy, they're safe, 0:21:07.480 --> 0:21:10.639 all those things that are just listed. So focusing on 0:21:10.680 --> 0:21:14.359 the important stuff, which is them, I think is the 0:21:14.400 --> 0:21:16.560 important thing to do. 0:21:16.560 --> 0:21:24.400 Do we want to talk about feeding? No now because 0:21:24.400 --> 0:21:26.480 someone says are the rules the same at both households? 0:21:26.640 --> 0:21:27.160 Oh? 0:21:27.280 --> 0:21:30.399 We know that to a degree. But I know that. 0:21:31.720 --> 0:21:37.640 And here's what I'll say. I for a lot of reasons, 0:21:37.640 --> 0:21:39.760 I want to find someone and be with somebody and 0:21:39.840 --> 0:21:49.040 have that stability and which you know, confident that I have, 0:21:49.440 --> 0:21:53.000 which is the story for another day. But you know, 0:21:53.040 --> 0:21:56.160 when they're with you, they have that more traditional kind 0:21:56.240 --> 0:22:00.000 of family setup of like being able to help each 0:22:00.000 --> 0:22:01.680 other words, cook dinner, and take care of the kids 0:22:01.680 --> 0:22:05.119 and do all the stuff. And when they're with me, 0:22:05.240 --> 0:22:08.600 there are those times where it's like single dad kind 0:22:08.600 --> 0:22:12.000 of on his own. I'm putting together to make sure 0:22:12.000 --> 0:22:14.920 they get fed, and sometimes it's you know, the organic 0:22:14.960 --> 0:22:18.000 chicken nuggets from the freezer or so I just do 0:22:18.080 --> 0:22:19.080 the best that I can. 0:22:19.760 --> 0:22:24.560 Right, it's just leading towards of Jimmy Jones satuation. 0:22:26.359 --> 0:22:31.480 Jimmy John's Yeah, well you it's the kids won't eat 0:22:31.520 --> 0:22:33.720 his food when they come back from your house. And 0:22:33.760 --> 0:22:35.840 then usually he'll make a little comment under his broath, 0:22:35.880 --> 0:22:42.119 like Jimmy Johns, but listen, the kids are being fed. 0:22:43.000 --> 0:22:44.960 And I defended the Jimmy Johns'm like, hey, Jimmy Johns 0:22:44.960 --> 0:22:48.280 is great turkey, it's protein. Yeah, thank you. 0:22:48.640 --> 0:22:51.240 Yeah, I don't have a huge deal with. 0:22:51.160 --> 0:22:54.680 It at that point you were in quite a mid last. 0:22:54.480 --> 0:22:56.479 Couple of weeks is really good chance. 0:22:58.320 --> 0:23:01.000 But I mean to your point, the kids are, you know, 0:23:01.200 --> 0:23:05.280 it's fine. I think we're we now that I've learned 0:23:05.280 --> 0:23:08.280 more about foods and what's in foods and I've been 0:23:09.720 --> 0:23:13.360 just you know, reading things, and Okay, this is really 0:23:13.400 --> 0:23:15.359 bad for the kids, getting the kids off of because 0:23:15.400 --> 0:23:17.800 it's hard when if they're eating the sugary cereals at 0:23:17.800 --> 0:23:19.960 your house and then we're like then they come here 0:23:19.960 --> 0:23:21.439 like oh we don't like this, Like what do you 0:23:22.440 --> 0:23:24.560 This is good, this doesn't have the dies and this 0:23:24.680 --> 0:23:25.879 that and the other. So I think when we had 0:23:25.880 --> 0:23:28.679 that conversation, I was like, I understand, but please like 0:23:28.760 --> 0:23:29.600 if we can try. 0:23:29.600 --> 0:23:31.800 That's all. That's all it takes, right, And so it's 0:23:31.840 --> 0:23:34.000