1 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:05,359 Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm heart Radio podcast. 2 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:10,639 Speaker 2: All right, So well, I don't even know how to 3 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:13,680 Speaker 2: start this one because this is a the girls aren't here. 4 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:16,960 Speaker 2: I didn't want to subject the girls to this again, 5 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:19,040 Speaker 2: but so what. 6 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:21,479 Speaker 1: Do you because you guys do what once. 7 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:26,000 Speaker 2: Week with the girls and I do the wind Down, right, 8 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:30,120 Speaker 2: and then we do adult Education, which is on Wednesdays. 9 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,840 Speaker 2: I can't remember. It's always kind of a moving target. 10 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:34,800 Speaker 2: But so there's two episodes a week through the wind 11 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:40,520 Speaker 2: Down umbrella. So one is then I've got adult education education, yes, 12 00:00:41,479 --> 00:00:44,839 Speaker 2: and so it's not that the girls didn't want to 13 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:47,720 Speaker 2: come today to today's show, but I feel like, you know, 14 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:52,960 Speaker 2: we've already yeah, and I just you know, I figured 15 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,440 Speaker 2: what better way to just have my now husband and 16 00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:59,960 Speaker 2: ex husband on wind Down? Make it really full circle, 17 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:01,320 Speaker 2: really fun. 18 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:06,160 Speaker 3: I've noticed what Mike's got a podcast voice. Yes, Softensy's 19 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:07,880 Speaker 3: voice up for a podcast. 20 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,679 Speaker 1: I have to otherwise it's my voice can be a lot. 21 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:15,600 Speaker 1: It's just learned. 22 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:20,600 Speaker 2: And we're still learning to just o coachman. 23 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,840 Speaker 4: The mic is fine. My voice travels. 24 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:25,000 Speaker 1: He's a coach. 25 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:29,080 Speaker 2: But anyways, it's been about a year since we've had 26 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:33,160 Speaker 2: Mike Cosson on the podcast, so we figured a little 27 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:36,680 Speaker 2: yearly anniversary. Welcome back to wind Down. Thanks for having me, 28 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:43,760 Speaker 2: of course, Alan, you were last minute add for this show. 29 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:47,600 Speaker 2: Would you like to discuss? 30 00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:55,000 Speaker 3: Would I like to discuss? Yes, it's almost like I 31 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:59,919 Speaker 3: don't want to and a fear and it just feels 32 00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:02,720 Speaker 3: it feels weird the three of us sitting here does 33 00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:07,320 Speaker 3: it not in an awkward way. But I'm almost like, Okay, 34 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,680 Speaker 3: if you guys would get copearings and stuff to raise 35 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:12,360 Speaker 3: and discuss, then go ahead, go. 36 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:15,640 Speaker 4: Ahead and do it. I don't need to. Yeah. 37 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:18,680 Speaker 3: Almost feels a little bit not awkward, a weird because 38 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:21,480 Speaker 3: we've got a good relationship, right, but almost like ends 39 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:22,320 Speaker 3: up feeding. 40 00:02:23,639 --> 00:02:24,400 Speaker 4: And interestive. 41 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:26,680 Speaker 2: Well, I don't want you to feel awkward. 42 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:28,880 Speaker 4: No, no, I just told you I don't feel. 43 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:30,400 Speaker 2: Oh no, I thought you said it's awkward. 44 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:32,640 Speaker 3: No, no, I said it's not awkward. 45 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:33,840 Speaker 2: Oh okay, I. 46 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:36,560 Speaker 1: Get what he's saying. But that just is a testament 47 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,080 Speaker 1: to I think, you know, on his half of things, 48 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:42,639 Speaker 1: why we're able to have the relationship as a three 49 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:45,400 Speaker 1: S company that we do, because there's other people that 50 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:49,760 Speaker 1: wouldn't that would include themselves, maybe in situations that they 51 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:52,520 Speaker 1: don't need to be included. Yeah, right, where it's like 52 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,400 Speaker 1: the new partner, the new husband, the new wife is 53 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:59,000 Speaker 1: like helping make decisions that maybe isn't up to them 54 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:04,200 Speaker 1: but kind of like stay in his lane. But also 55 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:06,679 Speaker 1: I embrace you coming into being a part of it too. 56 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:09,400 Speaker 1: So oh, that's just one of the beginning kind of 57 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:11,400 Speaker 1: things with all of this of why we've been able 58 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:12,440 Speaker 1: to have a good relationship. 59 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:16,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think to bring it back to where 60 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:20,200 Speaker 2: you even when I did bring up the hey, I'm 61 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,120 Speaker 2: thinking about having Mike come back on the show. He 62 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:26,640 Speaker 2: kind of wanted to discuss work and we can we 63 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:29,840 Speaker 2: have topics that I think could help people because our 64 00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:32,760 Speaker 2: mission was always to help other people through things that 65 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:37,320 Speaker 2: we've gone through, and so sometimes threading that and walking 66 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:40,280 Speaker 2: that line has been challenging and stuff. And I feel like, 67 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:44,200 Speaker 2: and this isn't anything against you, Mike, but and I 68 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:46,800 Speaker 2: don't want to speak for you, so please join in 69 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:50,400 Speaker 2: on this piece of it. But even when I did 70 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:52,400 Speaker 2: bring it up, you're you have more of like that 71 00:03:52,480 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 2: old school mentality love like boundaries where you're like, why 72 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:04,120 Speaker 2: why do you want them on or have him come on? 73 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:09,480 Speaker 4: Why do you want. I'm I think it's clear. 74 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:11,720 Speaker 3: I'm a pretty private person, So I'm like, why do 75 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:14,760 Speaker 3: you want to discuss this stuff on a podcast? I 76 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:21,119 Speaker 3: don't get it. That's what my stance was. Nothing against 77 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:25,920 Speaker 3: Mike at all, but my stance is that's an in house, 78 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:29,440 Speaker 3: private thing that runs between the three of us and 79 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:34,360 Speaker 3: runs well. So one, there's not going to be any 80 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:37,760 Speaker 3: controversy behind it or on this podcast unless something there's 81 00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:41,080 Speaker 3: raised that I don't know about, or two is. 82 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:43,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's my thing. 83 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 3: Like it's a private way in which we do think, 84 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:47,919 Speaker 3: So why why air it? 85 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:51,360 Speaker 4: That was my first response, and I said I'd come back. 86 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:54,400 Speaker 3: To you on it, didn't I yeah, because I didn't 87 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:56,719 Speaker 3: even know until last night that Mike was coming on. 88 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:06,880 Speaker 2: Thank you well again I eliminated. I'm like, Okay, this 89 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:10,599 Speaker 2: is where it's a hard line to walk, right, because 90 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:18,040 Speaker 2: I understand honoring and respecting your stance on it and 91 00:05:18,279 --> 00:05:21,240 Speaker 2: also going I think it's then it's the stance that 92 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,480 Speaker 2: I take is I have this podcast to help other 93 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:28,000 Speaker 2: people to be able to have conversations, tough conversations at times. 94 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:33,200 Speaker 2: We've had many of those. And then to go, okay, 95 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:37,680 Speaker 2: I think there are conversations about how we have co 96 00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:42,080 Speaker 2: parented because we know so many that are struggling in 97 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:45,320 Speaker 2: that area. So, Okay, we don't have the perfect relationship 98 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:49,280 Speaker 2: Mike and I, but it's you know, it's an ongoing 99 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:52,200 Speaker 2: and trying to communicate. Yeah, and so I think we 100 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:54,520 Speaker 2: know we're not meeting in a parking lot, though nothing 101 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,600 Speaker 2: against those people that do that. We were almost there 102 00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,880 Speaker 2: at that point to exchange kids. But you know, I 103 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 2: think there's ways to be able to have conversations. And 104 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:07,479 Speaker 2: that's why I didn't end up saying anything because I'm like, 105 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:09,440 Speaker 2: I don't I'm not going to be like, babe, you 106 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:12,479 Speaker 2: have to come on. So you were free to sit 107 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:15,560 Speaker 2: out if you wanted to. And if you were like, Babe, 108 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:18,320 Speaker 2: absolutely not, then obviously I wouldn't. I would have respected that. 109 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,880 Speaker 3: I think if Mike and I have again to see 110 00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:25,440 Speaker 3: each other, they've been said privately, not on the podcast. Yeah, well, 111 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:32,080 Speaker 3: if that can help others navigate situations like this, then yeah, 112 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:32,720 Speaker 3: let's do. 113 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:41,600 Speaker 4: This is great from the expert of cooperiencing. 114 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,920 Speaker 2: Listen. And that's the thing. It's not all perfect, right, 115 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:48,640 Speaker 2: and there's different I think there's different seasons of co 116 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:53,080 Speaker 2: parenting and relationships. It is hard to co parent with 117 00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:57,599 Speaker 2: someone you don't like. You got divorced because of an issue, 118 00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:01,800 Speaker 2: so it's then you're forced and co parent with someone 119 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:06,400 Speaker 2: you don't like respect have issues with, and that have 120 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:11,840 Speaker 2: two different sides of anger and resentment and bitterness and 121 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:16,480 Speaker 2: so but then yeah, go ahead communicate, Like it's such 122 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:19,280 Speaker 2: a hard thing for so many to do. So you're 123 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:23,240 Speaker 2: not alone in that alone, nor were having a hard 124 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:33,320 Speaker 2: time with co parenting. No, I know, yeah, but so 125 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,960 Speaker 2: but I will say again though, too, you are just 126 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:41,120 Speaker 2: more of a like for example, when you were coming 127 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:44,600 Speaker 2: in you know Mike's and this is just the relationship 128 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,080 Speaker 2: that we've cultivated anyways. I mean, there may be should 129 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:49,320 Speaker 2: have been boundary set, but like you're just like walking 130 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:51,400 Speaker 2: in the house, and I think at first, like for Alan, 131 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:53,600 Speaker 2: he's like what you know what I mean, Like it's 132 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:56,520 Speaker 2: like a. 133 00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:58,960 Speaker 1: Which is which I still have my moments of like 134 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:02,960 Speaker 1: hesitation and all that with I mean, with all of this, 135 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:05,200 Speaker 1: whether it's the podcast, whether it's coming to the house, 136 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:08,200 Speaker 1: and even when I Jannel, when I texted you about 137 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:11,880 Speaker 1: maybe doing this, that's my if it was just you, 138 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:13,960 Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, let's freaking do this like, come on, like, 139 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:16,840 Speaker 1: let's talk about these things, let's talk about co parenting whatever. Yeah, 140 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:19,840 Speaker 1: any reservation I have is because of like my respect 141 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:22,640 Speaker 1: for Alan, right, because it's like, this is y'all's house, 142 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:26,200 Speaker 1: this is y'all's marriage. I'm here on the side. I'm like, hey, 143 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:28,320 Speaker 1: if you want to do this, like maybe we could. 144 00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:28,640 Speaker 4: Well. 145 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:31,280 Speaker 2: You also in the text message you said, hey, what 146 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:33,760 Speaker 2: do you think about this? And also to bring out 147 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:36,280 Speaker 2: like we can do it on Alan yours an Alan show, 148 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:38,720 Speaker 2: so you were very respectful of that too, of course, 149 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:42,160 Speaker 2: and he always this, Yeah, but it's just funny because 150 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:44,520 Speaker 2: it is like the two where I'm kind of sometimes 151 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:48,040 Speaker 2: I feel a little stuck in the middle where Intio 152 00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:54,360 Speaker 2: like the boundaries of things like well, uh like let's 153 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:55,840 Speaker 2: just say early on when he would just like walk 154 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:56,360 Speaker 2: in the house. 155 00:08:56,720 --> 00:09:02,960 Speaker 5: Yeah, but that's that's because I'm used to a different 156 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:09,240 Speaker 5: type of corpiiting, right, So right, not to be bad anyone, 157 00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:11,640 Speaker 5: but I'm used to I'm used to the. 158 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:17,000 Speaker 3: Drop the kads off and picked them up style of 159 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:21,120 Speaker 3: Corpi thing. That's that's my experience of it. So when 160 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:24,920 Speaker 3: I used to come swarming in the house up like Okay. 161 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:28,880 Speaker 1: I'm sitting down and hey, that's what's going on. 162 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:33,280 Speaker 2: It hang out, and then I'm just like I just 163 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:35,360 Speaker 2: want everyone to get along and be happy, and like 164 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,040 Speaker 2: I don't want to be like, hey, I need you 165 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:38,720 Speaker 2: to knock on the I need you to ring the 166 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:41,880 Speaker 2: doorbell because you know it's so it puts then me 167 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:44,120 Speaker 2: in an uncomfortable situation because I just want everyone to 168 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:46,160 Speaker 2: get along. And then I don't want conflict between us, 169 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:47,600 Speaker 2: because then I don't want you to hate him for 170 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:53,400 Speaker 2: like maybe his more stronger, uh or not stronger. 171 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:58,240 Speaker 3: It's just a different perception of like the way you 172 00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:02,320 Speaker 3: guys Corpien is nice. It's nice, but not everyone has 173 00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:04,960 Speaker 3: got that. Not everybody's got the luxury. And you you 174 00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:08,880 Speaker 3: to be fair to you both. You've you compromise, you 175 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:12,280 Speaker 3: discuss things, you communicate well, and you have your moments 176 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,800 Speaker 3: as everyone does. But then the day it's always like 177 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:18,240 Speaker 3: ninety five percent of the time it's healthy. Whereas I 178 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:23,120 Speaker 3: think cole parenting in general, make sure I use that 179 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:28,200 Speaker 3: word in general is five percent healthy and ninety five 180 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:29,120 Speaker 3: percent unhealthy. 181 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:31,360 Speaker 4: And I believe that. 182 00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:34,960 Speaker 2: Why do you think that is Well. 183 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:38,079 Speaker 3: There's others a bias in my opinion because of my 184 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:41,360 Speaker 3: experience with co parenting, which is now in a place 185 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:45,440 Speaker 3: where it's a lot better. I just I don't hear 186 00:10:45,559 --> 00:10:49,200 Speaker 3: many stories of nice co parenting situations. 187 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:52,800 Speaker 1: I really don't. You know, what was your biggest like 188 00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:59,400 Speaker 1: fear or concern when you guys really start to get 189 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:02,080 Speaker 1: serious and you knew our lives we're gonna blend like 190 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:04,600 Speaker 1: Allen and I did you have like any just off 191 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:06,960 Speaker 1: the top of your head, Man, I'm really worried about this. 192 00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:09,400 Speaker 2: Well, I mean, I'm glad you're not showing up in 193 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:11,920 Speaker 2: the window knocking on the door or knocking on the windows. 194 00:11:12,679 --> 00:11:19,720 Speaker 3: It's a dark day, John, make say the game. 195 00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:30,320 Speaker 2: That was pre Allen, that was very very pre very 196 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:35,400 Speaker 2: early on. Yeah, very pre but that was a wild time. 197 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:39,160 Speaker 1: That that feels like so long ago. 198 00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:42,880 Speaker 2: But I and that we all have like our crazy 199 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:46,040 Speaker 2: moments obviously, but it's something to be said for It's 200 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:49,000 Speaker 2: really hard when people start dating after divorce because when 201 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:52,160 Speaker 2: it involves kids, because you just kind of start to 202 00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:57,559 Speaker 2: spiral and you you like don't have any control over anything, 203 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:02,040 Speaker 2: and so it's it's hard. But in this situation, you 204 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:02,439 Speaker 2: say that. 205 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:05,840 Speaker 1: Question again, So what was just when you knew, like 206 00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:07,840 Speaker 1: Alan was coming into your life and then things are 207 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:10,120 Speaker 1: getting serious and I was meeting Alan, he was around 208 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:13,880 Speaker 1: the kids. What was your concern with really of just like, Okay, 209 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:15,320 Speaker 1: this is the person I'm going to be with, this 210 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,840 Speaker 1: is my person. I eat Alan. Now we have to 211 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:22,440 Speaker 1: blend all of this together, well, Like, was there anything 212 00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:24,480 Speaker 1: noticeable that you were worried about. 213 00:12:24,679 --> 00:12:27,440 Speaker 2: I think my own worry was trusting myself that I 214 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:30,000 Speaker 2: was making the right that I wasn't that I didn't 215 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,520 Speaker 2: want to mess up again. That's my first when I 216 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:35,640 Speaker 2: think of when I think back to that is I 217 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:38,560 Speaker 2: I almost didn't want you to be like, oh, you know, 218 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:41,840 Speaker 2: you messed up again and you introduced the kids to 219 00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:47,080 Speaker 2: someone to somebody else, And that would probably be the 220 00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:49,480 Speaker 2: first piece that I would think of, because I didn't 221 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:52,800 Speaker 2: I didn't want to mess up again, and I didn't 222 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:56,920 Speaker 2: want to put the kids through blending and then something happening. 223 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:04,160 Speaker 2: But I would say between, I mean this situation again, 224 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:08,760 Speaker 2: I I don't like I don't I And I think 225 00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:13,199 Speaker 2: that's why I'm was blurry maybe with boundaries of certain things, 226 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:17,560 Speaker 2: because I just don't want any like negativity. I just 227 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:20,200 Speaker 2: wanted you everyone to get along, and honestly, what my 228 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:24,800 Speaker 2: biggest thing was is I know how you're you're just 229 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:29,640 Speaker 2: more of a Alan speaking to him, is you're you 230 00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:32,720 Speaker 2: are more old school with a lot of things, and 231 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:36,520 Speaker 2: so because of the situations that you've dealt with, it 232 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:38,800 Speaker 2: was hard to go, Okay, well, now we're in such 233 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:41,320 Speaker 2: a great spot. I don't want to have to like 234 00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:46,439 Speaker 2: and now I have to like try to manage everybody's 235 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:50,319 Speaker 2: and respecting because I didn't want you to not like him, 236 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:51,840 Speaker 2: and I didn't want him to not like you, And 237 00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:53,080 Speaker 2: then I just wanted to be like, can we y'all 238 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:53,760 Speaker 2: just get along? 239 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:57,240 Speaker 3: And so I think I think when you bring two 240 00:13:57,320 --> 00:14:01,720 Speaker 3: reasonable people together always end up in reason. I think 241 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:05,360 Speaker 3: if you've got one person who is an unreasonable person, 242 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:08,080 Speaker 3: which a lot of people are, then you'll always have 243 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:12,559 Speaker 3: some sort of fight, a battle. But I think I'm 244 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:14,280 Speaker 3: at an age now. I think I've always been a 245 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:17,000 Speaker 3: reasonable person, but I'm an age now where okay, I 246 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:20,320 Speaker 3: can see the reason and things and as long as 247 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:24,200 Speaker 3: in Mike is a reasonable person in my opinion from 248 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:26,960 Speaker 3: what I've seen in the past the past two years. 249 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:30,760 Speaker 3: So I think there was a willingness from Mike that 250 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:32,840 Speaker 3: for it to work and there's a willingness for me 251 00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:34,960 Speaker 3: to make it work, so therefore there was always going 252 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,120 Speaker 3: to be a good balance with it. 253 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:41,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think I think it was hard too, 254 00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:46,160 Speaker 2: because I wanted I wanted you both to like each other. 255 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,280 Speaker 2: Where it was like and where he helped me with 256 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:51,200 Speaker 2: is like there can be a level respect or it 257 00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:53,360 Speaker 2: doesn't have to be best friends, but there will be 258 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:56,320 Speaker 2: a level of respect, you know, And just like with 259 00:14:56,840 --> 00:15:00,480 Speaker 2: you know, whatever relationship you end up with, like she 260 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,200 Speaker 2: doesn't need to be my best friend, but there will 261 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:04,120 Speaker 2: always be a level of respect for each other. And 262 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:07,080 Speaker 2: I think you guys have a really nice blend of respect. 263 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:09,960 Speaker 2: You might not understand certain things about each other or 264 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:12,280 Speaker 2: vice versa, but there at least there's a level of 265 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:16,120 Speaker 2: respect and knowing he's the father of you know, our 266 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:17,680 Speaker 2: kids and everything like that. 267 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:18,880 Speaker 4: He's a good guy. 268 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:21,240 Speaker 1: We'll keep him around. 269 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:23,600 Speaker 2: Were you worried about anything? 270 00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:29,760 Speaker 1: The biggest thing was what your point was like. And 271 00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:31,960 Speaker 1: that's why I told anybody that would ask me or 272 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:33,880 Speaker 1: close to me, it's like, you know, how do you 273 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:37,560 Speaker 1: like Alan or the newer I'm just like, for the 274 00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:41,760 Speaker 1: kid's sake, I hope it works above all. And then 275 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:45,200 Speaker 1: getting to see y'all's relationship, getting to see you know, 276 00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:49,080 Speaker 1: how he makes you feel, feeling the energy in the 277 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:50,880 Speaker 1: house and all that kind of stuff. And then just 278 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:55,480 Speaker 1: the path that the three of our relationship has been 279 00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:58,800 Speaker 1: able to go is it's depleted any worry that I 280 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:03,520 Speaker 1: ever had really Obviously the number one thing is the kids. 281 00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:06,000 Speaker 1: So the fact that they have this stability with you, guys, 282 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:07,040 Speaker 1: is is great. 283 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:21,880 Speaker 2: What do you think this is for both of you? Guys? 284 00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:26,480 Speaker 2: Has been the hardest challenge for you personally co parenting? 285 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:29,320 Speaker 2: Who wants to go first? 286 00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:35,440 Speaker 3: I think it's been a pretty seamless co patenting situation 287 00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:36,880 Speaker 3: because I. 288 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:38,640 Speaker 2: Mean in your personal if you want to talk about 289 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:39,240 Speaker 2: it too, like what. 290 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:43,560 Speaker 3: You talking about it was co parents and Jolie and Jayson. 291 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,440 Speaker 3: So I think it's been seamless one because the kids 292 00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:51,960 Speaker 3: are really nice kids and have been raised properly. So 293 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:53,560 Speaker 3: it makes it I have said that to you from 294 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:59,400 Speaker 3: day one, if you running around with a couple of brats, 295 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:06,399 Speaker 3: how they've been like m hm, So again that that's 296 00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:09,480 Speaker 3: such an easy, seamless scenario because the kids are so 297 00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:17,160 Speaker 3: kind and nice and monoy. And then the respects side 298 00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:22,560 Speaker 3: of Mike and Eye's relationship. When I met, I was like, Okay, 299 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,119 Speaker 3: it's good that I can work with us. 300 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:27,960 Speaker 4: What was your question. 301 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:30,440 Speaker 2: Again, what's been the hardest challenge co parenting? 302 00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:33,760 Speaker 1: All this challenge, I'll say for me at least being 303 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:40,080 Speaker 1: like the biological side of things is I never envisioned 304 00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:43,520 Speaker 1: not having my kids every single day, right, Like, I 305 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:45,320 Speaker 1: know my great dad. You guys know my great dad. 306 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:47,280 Speaker 1: Everyone that knows me knows I'm a great dad. That's 307 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:49,520 Speaker 1: one thing I can kind of stand behind for sure. 308 00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:54,159 Speaker 1: And so knowing that there's obviously a lot of times 309 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:58,720 Speaker 1: where I'm not there and you're helping them do things 310 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:02,800 Speaker 1: that a father would do you, I'm thankful that it's 311 00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:06,280 Speaker 1: you because I like you as a person, I respect you, 312 00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:10,760 Speaker 1: you know, I love y'all's relationship. But there's no matter 313 00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:13,280 Speaker 1: who you put in your in your shoes as the 314 00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:16,639 Speaker 1: biological father, it still is like, man, this sucks like 315 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:20,000 Speaker 1: it is like there's there's no substitute for that. And 316 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:23,879 Speaker 1: so that's the hardest part. No matter how great all 317 00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:26,600 Speaker 1: of our relationship is, I just know I'm not with 318 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:29,000 Speaker 1: him every day and that sucks. It is what it is. 319 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:31,199 Speaker 3: Yeah, there's a gap that someone else is filling. I 320 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:34,760 Speaker 3: think it's tough for any father or mother in that situation. 321 00:18:37,359 --> 00:18:39,560 Speaker 3: But going back to it, I think the dynamic between 322 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:42,639 Speaker 3: the three of us is fine and everyone's intentions are 323 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:49,119 Speaker 3: pure absolutely, So going back to the biggest challenge, I 324 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:52,080 Speaker 3: don't I don't think those I don't think there's a 325 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:55,800 Speaker 3: time where I've sat and thought that's just so challenging 326 00:18:56,520 --> 00:19:01,680 Speaker 3: that particular part. Apart from makestraw and in the house 327 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:06,600 Speaker 3: without knocking on the door, there's not been a point 328 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:12,239 Speaker 3: where I'm like, I'm struggling with us. Yeah, and if 329 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:15,159 Speaker 3: that is enough forgot about it, then you can remaind me. 330 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:25,679 Speaker 2: No, I think for me what is challenging is and 331 00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:28,440 Speaker 2: I don't know if you've I know you don't listen 332 00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:34,040 Speaker 2: to wind down Mike. But it's hard because though we're 333 00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:40,720 Speaker 2: so removed, there's still things that come up emotionally and uh, 334 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,320 Speaker 2: you know, like something came up for me in therapy 335 00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:50,080 Speaker 2: a couple weeks ago, and it's hard to co parent 336 00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:53,240 Speaker 2: when those feelings come up, you know, because I want 337 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:57,359 Speaker 2: to just come, you know, get on the phone and 338 00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:00,119 Speaker 2: just be like that I hate you, you know this 339 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,919 Speaker 2: this is coming up and why is this coming up. 340 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:05,560 Speaker 2: But it's so I think it's like sometimes separating when 341 00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:08,080 Speaker 2: you're still some past things like might come up. And 342 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:09,040 Speaker 2: then obviously we have. 343 00:20:11,119 --> 00:20:18,160 Speaker 1: You know, yeah, we still have obstacles that as parenting 344 00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:20,040 Speaker 1: as well as we do it together. We still have 345 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:24,080 Speaker 1: obstacles with things and that we work on, will continue 346 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:27,200 Speaker 1: to work on and all of that. But and it 347 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:28,119 Speaker 1: could always be worse. 348 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:30,879 Speaker 2: What do you find works best for co parenting? 349 00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:33,639 Speaker 1: Kind of to touch on what Alan said, right, like 350 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:37,760 Speaker 1: being reasonable people and so it is it's you're removing 351 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:42,280 Speaker 1: the emotion out of it and giving credit where credits do. 352 00:20:42,359 --> 00:20:46,200 Speaker 1: It's like, Okay, are my kids healthy? Yes? Are they safe? Yes? 353 00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:49,560 Speaker 1: Are they in a good home? Yes, like no matter 354 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:52,000 Speaker 1: whether your house or my house? Are they fed? Are 355 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:56,879 Speaker 1: they like the essential things? It's like making it elementary 356 00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:02,520 Speaker 1: in my mind helps alleviate, like from like ruminating on 357 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:07,480 Speaker 1: the emotional. Just my kids are fine, they're healthy, they're safe, 358 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:10,639 Speaker 1: all those things that are just listed. So focusing on 359 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:14,359 Speaker 1: the important stuff, which is them, I think is the 360 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,560 Speaker 1: important thing to do. 361 00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:24,400 Speaker 2: Do we want to talk about feeding? No now because 362 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,480 Speaker 2: someone says are the rules the same at both households? 363 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:27,160 Speaker 4: Oh? 364 00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:30,399 Speaker 1: We know that to a degree. But I know that. 365 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:37,640 Speaker 1: And here's what I'll say. I for a lot of reasons, 366 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:39,760 Speaker 1: I want to find someone and be with somebody and 367 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:49,040 Speaker 1: have that stability and which you know, confident that I have, 368 00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:53,000 Speaker 1: which is the story for another day. But you know, 369 00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:56,160 Speaker 1: when they're with you, they have that more traditional kind 370 00:21:56,240 --> 00:22:00,000 Speaker 1: of family setup of like being able to help each 371 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,680 Speaker 1: other words, cook dinner, and take care of the kids 372 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:05,119 Speaker 1: and do all the stuff. And when they're with me, 373 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:08,600 Speaker 1: there are those times where it's like single dad kind 374 00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:12,000 Speaker 1: of on his own. I'm putting together to make sure 375 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,920 Speaker 1: they get fed, and sometimes it's you know, the organic 376 00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:18,000 Speaker 1: chicken nuggets from the freezer or so I just do 377 00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:19,080 Speaker 1: the best that I can. 378 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:24,560 Speaker 3: Right, it's just leading towards of Jimmy Jones satuation. 379 00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:31,480 Speaker 2: Jimmy John's Yeah, well you it's the kids won't eat 380 00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:33,720 Speaker 2: his food when they come back from your house. And 381 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:35,840 Speaker 2: then usually he'll make a little comment under his broath, 382 00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:42,119 Speaker 2: like Jimmy Johns, but listen, the kids are being fed. 383 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:44,960 Speaker 2: And I defended the Jimmy Johns'm like, hey, Jimmy Johns 384 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:48,280 Speaker 2: is great turkey, it's protein. Yeah, thank you. 385 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:51,240 Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't have a huge deal with. 386 00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:54,680 Speaker 2: It at that point you were in quite a mid last. 387 00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:56,479 Speaker 4: Couple of weeks is really good chance. 388 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,000 Speaker 2: But I mean to your point, the kids are, you know, 389 00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:05,280 Speaker 2: it's fine. I think we're we now that I've learned 390 00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:08,280 Speaker 2: more about foods and what's in foods and I've been 391 00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:13,360 Speaker 2: just you know, reading things, and Okay, this is really 392 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:15,359 Speaker 2: bad for the kids, getting the kids off of because 393 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,800 Speaker 2: it's hard when if they're eating the sugary cereals at 394 00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:19,960 Speaker 2: your house and then we're like then they come here 395 00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:21,439 Speaker 2: like oh we don't like this, Like what do you 396 00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:24,560 Speaker 2: This is good, this doesn't have the dies and this 397 00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:25,879 Speaker 2: that and the other. So I think when we had 398 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:28,679 Speaker 2: that conversation, I was like, I understand, but please like 399 00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:29,600 Speaker 2: if we can try. 400 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:31,800 Speaker 1: That's all. That's all it takes, right, And so it's 401 00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:34,000 Speaker 1: just a conversation. We're able to have that, And so 402 00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:37,440 Speaker 1: I'm more conscious of those little things where, you know. 403 00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:41,040 Speaker 3: I think I think that's a cultural thing as well, 404 00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:44,800 Speaker 3: because and it's like, okay, when the kids go to 405 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:49,560 Speaker 3: dad's house, everything's everything's generally more relaxed and to get 406 00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:51,439 Speaker 3: more It's the same with Troy when he was younger, 407 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:55,040 Speaker 3: like you'd come to my house and like do you 408 00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:59,359 Speaker 3: know what, Okay, we'll just eat out or we'll have 409 00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:03,440 Speaker 3: this so well that so I think I think things 410 00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:06,040 Speaker 3: are always more lenient with kids when they go to 411 00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:12,520 Speaker 3: dad's because moms tend to Moms tend to beat a 412 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:15,680 Speaker 3: little bit more controlling with things, whereas when the kids 413 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:16,480 Speaker 3: go to their dad's's. 414 00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:20,320 Speaker 4: That's what it was always like with me. 415 00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:24,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think totally, which is also why the other 416 00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:27,600 Speaker 2: day I texted you, Mike about the volleyball stuff, because 417 00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:31,640 Speaker 2: when Jolie was talking to her counselor, she had said, Mom, 418 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:34,360 Speaker 2: you're always rushing me. And I'm like, okay, let's talk 419 00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:36,560 Speaker 2: about that. You get off the bus at this time, 420 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:38,080 Speaker 2: and then your volleyball's at this time, and then you 421 00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:40,640 Speaker 2: had a soccer gam where you've got softball. Because everything, 422 00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:45,240 Speaker 2: given our split the seventy thirty, I am the one always. 423 00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:47,040 Speaker 2: I'm like, this isn't I don't want to be the 424 00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:49,040 Speaker 2: parent that she just thinks is the one rushing her. 425 00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:52,159 Speaker 2: It just but it falls mostly on my days, and 426 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:55,320 Speaker 2: so it becomes this like I almost get a little 427 00:24:55,359 --> 00:25:00,880 Speaker 2: resentment where it's it becomes frustrating that you're the fun 428 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:03,520 Speaker 2: house where they can go do the video games, not 429 00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:06,160 Speaker 2: be rushed. Dad doesn't do the like, and so that's 430 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:09,040 Speaker 2: what I make up and I'm like cool, So those 431 00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:11,480 Speaker 2: eight to whatever ten days they get to just have 432 00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:13,720 Speaker 2: so much fun. But yet I'm the parent that's rushing 433 00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:15,840 Speaker 2: them and taking them here. And it's like, I don't 434 00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:17,160 Speaker 2: want to just be labeled that parent. 435 00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:22,160 Speaker 1: I get that, and of course I can see how 436 00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:25,280 Speaker 1: it seem that way, and is that way to a 437 00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:30,800 Speaker 1: degree for sure. The rushing actually jolly kind of stopped 438 00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:32,400 Speaker 1: me in my tracks. One day, this is a couple 439 00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:34,800 Speaker 1: of weeks ago, and I was getting emotional like talking 440 00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:38,720 Speaker 1: to her because like I was rushing over something. We 441 00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:40,560 Speaker 1: had vullet, we had some kind of practice. I was like, guys, 442 00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:42,040 Speaker 1: let's go, let's go, let's go, and she's like, I 443 00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:43,399 Speaker 1: just need him in. I just need a minute. I 444 00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,480 Speaker 1: was like, we don't have a minute, let's go. And 445 00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:47,840 Speaker 1: when I put them to bed that night, she took 446 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:51,320 Speaker 1: a moment and told me, she's like, Dad, like, I'm 447 00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:53,639 Speaker 1: really upset because you're rushing me. I told you I 448 00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:55,879 Speaker 1: needed a minute and I just need him in. And 449 00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:58,520 Speaker 1: I'm like sitting there just like eyes watering, and I 450 00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:01,040 Speaker 1: was like, oh my god. The fact that she was 451 00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:02,960 Speaker 1: using her words and telling me this, and I was 452 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:07,280 Speaker 1: just like, you know what, You're right. Next time that 453 00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:10,000 Speaker 1: you tell me, hey, I need a minute, I'll stop. 454 00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:12,080 Speaker 1: I'll give you a minute and we'll talk about it 455 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:14,880 Speaker 1: and kind of figure it out. But so that feels 456 00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:17,720 Speaker 1: like you're the only one that's just like on their ass, 457 00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:19,040 Speaker 1: but you're definitely not. 458 00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:22,960 Speaker 4: At all. Can I make a point with that? 459 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:27,280 Speaker 3: I think that goes back to another generalization where when 460 00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:32,080 Speaker 3: it's co pairing thing, I don't think the mum will 461 00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:36,320 Speaker 3: ever think the dad is doing it right. Yeah, I'm 462 00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:39,439 Speaker 3: being serious, I'm being I think about every cope like 463 00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:45,639 Speaker 3: my friends, whoever it is, and it's always okay you 464 00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:46,879 Speaker 3: when you go to your dad's. 465 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,360 Speaker 4: There's never any structure you got your dad's does. 466 00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:56,439 Speaker 3: Yeah, And I honestly think there's nothing against you and 467 00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:59,840 Speaker 3: Mike's resate relationship with you because you're really organized the person, 468 00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:04,639 Speaker 3: and I love that about you. But I think that 469 00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:09,720 Speaker 3: again as a generalization of dads will never never ever 470 00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:12,000 Speaker 3: do it the right way and the mom's eyes. 471 00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:16,199 Speaker 2: So then, as the wife and ex wife of a 472 00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:19,480 Speaker 2: co parent situation, what would you want from your ex 473 00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:22,080 Speaker 2: wife or your wife in that situation to. 474 00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:28,240 Speaker 1: Realize that guys do it definitely, but exactly we do 475 00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:30,119 Speaker 1: it differently. But it goes back to what I was saying. 476 00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:33,399 Speaker 1: The essentials, the elementary things are still taken care of 477 00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:43,240 Speaker 1: right like, and you for the most part, our principles 478 00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:47,240 Speaker 1: as parents align right like they do like values and 479 00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:49,680 Speaker 1: I know I do. Yes, we play like Mario Kard 480 00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:52,000 Speaker 1: at my house, and you know, we do some certain 481 00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:55,080 Speaker 1: things that you don't do here, and I get that. 482 00:27:56,720 --> 00:28:01,560 Speaker 1: But again from a like building a human being and 483 00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:06,720 Speaker 1: giving them the right skills as a person, we align 484 00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:10,880 Speaker 1: right like manners and respect and being honest and those 485 00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:14,560 Speaker 1: kind of things. So it's like, hey, the rest of the stuff, yes, okay, 486 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:17,639 Speaker 1: but that's not going to completely shape their character different 487 00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:19,440 Speaker 1: than you want because they're at my house. 488 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:24,240 Speaker 3: Right yeah, Like no more other situation, No mom wants 489 00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:28,919 Speaker 3: to regardless of how healthy the coporent. The situation is, 490 00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:31,800 Speaker 3: no mom wants to handle the kids over to the 491 00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:32,120 Speaker 3: the dad. 492 00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:33,800 Speaker 4: Yeah no. 493 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:39,840 Speaker 3: So therefore, and going back to my point, mums will 494 00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:43,520 Speaker 3: always have some sort of great or opinion on how 495 00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:47,120 Speaker 3: the dads do. And that's just that's just nature, that's 496 00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:47,960 Speaker 3: just how it works. 497 00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:52,800 Speaker 1: How did this is kind off topic, but Alan coming 498 00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:59,840 Speaker 1: into being with Jana and obviously with our relationship being 499 00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:04,280 Speaker 1: what it was and a lot of you know, public 500 00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:06,840 Speaker 1: things and negative public things, especially about me and things 501 00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:12,240 Speaker 1: that I was guilty of and all of that coming 502 00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:17,239 Speaker 1: into it, Like, how were you able to kind of 503 00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:19,800 Speaker 1: not predetermining your head? All right, this guy's probably all. 504 00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:23,320 Speaker 1: I'm sure there's part of you that you know. 505 00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:26,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, listen again, it's a really good question. 506 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:30,640 Speaker 3: I thought it might come up. Your past is your past? 507 00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:31,080 Speaker 4: I don't. 508 00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:35,320 Speaker 3: I don't respect the things you did, for sure, Jannah. Okay, 509 00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:38,000 Speaker 3: so clear on that. Not anything I would ever do. 510 00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:41,760 Speaker 3: So those there's that side of it. But I also 511 00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:47,120 Speaker 3: need to recognize for me to pin that on you 512 00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:51,440 Speaker 3: and continually think that about you would be unhealthy for 513 00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:56,000 Speaker 3: the way the future is. So Okay, you've done these things, 514 00:29:56,600 --> 00:30:00,920 Speaker 3: don't respect them. But I think and it would be 515 00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:03,440 Speaker 3: different if I didn't think this. I think you're genuinely 516 00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:06,200 Speaker 3: a good person and a nice guy, and if I 517 00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:09,000 Speaker 3: didn't think that, then the relationship would probably be different. 518 00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:13,719 Speaker 3: So that makes it easier not to forget what happened 519 00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:17,640 Speaker 3: in the past and not to add any respect to whatsoever. 520 00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:19,560 Speaker 3: But it makes it a lot easier knowing that deep 521 00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:20,880 Speaker 3: down I think you are a good person. 522 00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:22,560 Speaker 4: That's fair. 523 00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:26,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean we've had that conversation before. You're like, 524 00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:28,960 Speaker 2: I don't understan, you don't understand it, Like you're like, 525 00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:32,560 Speaker 2: you know, He'll be like, I don't understand how someone 526 00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:35,720 Speaker 2: could do that. But I'm also like, but babe, you 527 00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:36,680 Speaker 2: got me now, you know. 528 00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:39,560 Speaker 3: So I'm like, we I think I think I've just 529 00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:41,479 Speaker 3: been clear and that I don't. I don't understand it, 530 00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:43,960 Speaker 3: don't respect it, don't understand it, I don't get it. 531 00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:46,200 Speaker 4: But I don't hold it against them one bit, right, 532 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:47,200 Speaker 4: not at all. 533 00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:49,440 Speaker 1: And I can feel that like I would be able 534 00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:54,640 Speaker 1: to tell, like if you did right and that first 535 00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:59,120 Speaker 1: meeting you, because you were who you are are. You're 536 00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:05,000 Speaker 1: very stoic and so just like I like to think 537 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:08,120 Speaker 1: I have, there's different energy in the room and you 538 00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:11,480 Speaker 1: have that, and so that was something I could tell 539 00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:14,840 Speaker 1: right away. I was like, okay, and I think there 540 00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:17,640 Speaker 1: is something with like both being athletes to a degree, 541 00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:21,160 Speaker 1: like cut from the same cloth in a sense kind of. 542 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:26,040 Speaker 1: But I could and I feel that, which I appreciate 543 00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:31,120 Speaker 1: because I would absolutely be able to tell if all 544 00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:35,960 Speaker 1: of that like carried on you like you've held Yeah, yeah, 545 00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:37,760 Speaker 1: for sure. 546 00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:39,560 Speaker 2: It's a good question though. 547 00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:41,360 Speaker 4: That was a good question, really good question. 548 00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:44,520 Speaker 2: I mean, what is your girlfriend going to think of me? 549 00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:54,120 Speaker 2: I was an angel, so yeah, But I mean I 550 00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:55,240 Speaker 2: have that same fear that. 551 00:31:56,680 --> 00:32:00,080 Speaker 1: Like, I'm gonna want everyone to get along, you know, 552 00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:03,200 Speaker 1: and I'm which is going to be out of my 553 00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:04,560 Speaker 1: control to a degree, but. 554 00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:10,240 Speaker 2: Like and like I said, I don't. As long as 555 00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:12,760 Speaker 2: she is good with the kids and there is not 556 00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:17,680 Speaker 2: overstepping of certain things again, it will all be great. 557 00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:18,880 Speaker 1: You know. 558 00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:20,320 Speaker 2: That's where it's. 559 00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:25,480 Speaker 3: He's a reasonable person. Yeah, I mean you're not reasonable. 560 00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:26,920 Speaker 3: I will be your voice of reason. 561 00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:30,120 Speaker 2: Well, I feel like we do a good job of 562 00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:34,600 Speaker 2: kind of holding each other from jumping off a cliff. Yeah, 563 00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:37,960 Speaker 2: we're we're luckily not jumping off at the same time. Yeah, 564 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:41,760 Speaker 2: it's interesting questions. Let's go, let's take a break, and 565 00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:57,280 Speaker 2: then we'll come back. Okay, So this is kind of 566 00:32:57,440 --> 00:33:02,040 Speaker 2: a how do I say, It's something I've always wanted 567 00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:04,600 Speaker 2: to do, But I think when I've brought it up 568 00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:09,680 Speaker 2: to you, bebe and not to call you out, but 569 00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:16,000 Speaker 2: I'm good. This is the podcast world. You know, yeah, 570 00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:18,120 Speaker 2: all to say this, let me frame it this way. 571 00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:21,760 Speaker 2: Is there something you would want to achieve or some 572 00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:25,120 Speaker 2: kind of not goal, but what you go, man, this 573 00:33:25,120 --> 00:33:26,520 Speaker 2: would be really cool if we could get to this 574 00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:30,320 Speaker 2: point in co parenting. I have my answer for that, 575 00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:33,040 Speaker 2: but I'm curious what y'all says. That's a really sounds like, no, 576 00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:33,480 Speaker 2: we're good. 577 00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:37,680 Speaker 1: That's a really really good question. And I've thought about that, 578 00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:41,240 Speaker 1: and I've been asked that, and maybe it's a pipe dream. 579 00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:47,200 Speaker 1: I don't know, because there does need to be boundaries 580 00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:52,000 Speaker 1: and I would never want anyone involved to feel uncomfortable 581 00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:55,680 Speaker 1: for any kind of reason. But I think the ultimate 582 00:33:55,720 --> 00:34:00,560 Speaker 1: pipe dream is like, you know, some years on the road, 583 00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:09,640 Speaker 1: where were this unrealistic but pitch but picturesque family where 584 00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:12,960 Speaker 1: it's like we go on a trip together in some 585 00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:15,440 Speaker 1: way like I don't like, I know, it's crazy, it's 586 00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:18,480 Speaker 1: probably not gonna happen, but in that's that would be 587 00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:21,680 Speaker 1: the ultimate where it's like the kids vacation and they're 588 00:34:21,719 --> 00:34:25,600 Speaker 1: able to have both sets of parents, everyone gets along. 589 00:34:25,680 --> 00:34:28,320 Speaker 1: I don't know, you know you've heard of that happening. 590 00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:31,320 Speaker 1: I don't know if that would ever happen, but well. 591 00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:33,919 Speaker 2: Alan's laughing because I have brought that up to him. 592 00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:37,879 Speaker 2: He's like, get the fuck interesting. 593 00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:42,160 Speaker 3: Getting Honestly, I think stuff like that just goes back 594 00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:43,719 Speaker 3: to bite you in the offs at some point. 595 00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:50,760 Speaker 2: There's your cynicism in which way. 596 00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:53,680 Speaker 3: I think if you're in a situation with your own 597 00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:59,960 Speaker 3: vacations together and it just opens up that that's that's 598 00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:06,520 Speaker 3: so different from managing a co parenting environment being on vacation, 599 00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:09,400 Speaker 3: because that's your that's your time to have your own space. 600 00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:15,520 Speaker 4: You're trying to relax, you're trying to I just, yeah, 601 00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:18,920 Speaker 4: I think being in that same. 602 00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:23,000 Speaker 3: Environment for a period and I probless my cynicism, but 603 00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:27,880 Speaker 3: I just don't Yeah, I don't see that being healthy. 604 00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:30,560 Speaker 2: I still feel like that's like a little bit more 605 00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:33,960 Speaker 2: of like the older school mentality too. With that, like 606 00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:38,160 Speaker 2: you like, if you think about your dad and the 607 00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:43,560 Speaker 2: Scottish like tough upbringing, maybe. 608 00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:50,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, part of it, I just I just I think 609 00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:53,200 Speaker 3: part of the means you leave yourself open to something 610 00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:56,160 Speaker 3: happening within that dynamic, which affects the next part of 611 00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:59,640 Speaker 3: the co parenting situation. I'm not saying it does. I'm 612 00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:04,600 Speaker 3: not saying it does, but being confined in that environment 613 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:07,359 Speaker 3: could be something could happen which affects the next two, three, 614 00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:09,520 Speaker 3: four or five six years of the co parents inside 615 00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:12,040 Speaker 3: of it, or what to go on a holiday together. 616 00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:17,120 Speaker 1: I might get that to a degree where it's if 617 00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:18,879 Speaker 1: it ain't broke, don't fix the type of deal where 618 00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:20,840 Speaker 1: if like you you do, you put people in this 619 00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:25,200 Speaker 1: fish bone, then it's some thing that we don't expect 620 00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:27,799 Speaker 1: to happen and it just causes a rift. And then 621 00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:29,680 Speaker 1: so I get that. 622 00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:31,920 Speaker 4: It's great. 623 00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:37,759 Speaker 3: I'm just used to and again old school boundaries. I'm 624 00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:42,200 Speaker 3: used to things being separate down the line. Okay, that's that, yeah, 625 00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:43,399 Speaker 3: which I get. 626 00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:44,399 Speaker 4: I'm not saying it's right. 627 00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:47,160 Speaker 3: I'm not saying it's right, and I might be stuck 628 00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:51,160 Speaker 3: in that year, but I'm just used to that's that, 629 00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:53,840 Speaker 3: and that's that. And if that comes together, does it 630 00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:57,440 Speaker 3: can create a gray area or some sort of animosity 631 00:36:57,520 --> 00:37:02,680 Speaker 3: And for what was the point mm hmm to resk 632 00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:05,160 Speaker 3: that again, I'm not seeing it does happen, which you're 633 00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:07,400 Speaker 3: a good guy and the person that you bring in 634 00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:11,920 Speaker 3: to co parent the kids and be around, hopefully we're 635 00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:17,440 Speaker 3: a good person as well. Of the blended family vacation. 636 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:22,680 Speaker 2: I mean that would really have to be we would 637 00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:24,400 Speaker 2: all have to really get along, like I have to, 638 00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:27,240 Speaker 2: would have to get along with your missus and stuff 639 00:37:27,239 --> 00:37:30,520 Speaker 2: like that. So I mean there's so many layers, Like 640 00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:34,000 Speaker 2: I could do all of us right now and go somewhere, 641 00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:36,160 Speaker 2: you know, like if we're invited to your beach vacation 642 00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:37,000 Speaker 2: that had been so. 643 00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:41,200 Speaker 3: Fun that Adam Sandler moved me that blended one. 644 00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:42,000 Speaker 2: I don't remember it. 645 00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:45,600 Speaker 4: I have Andrew Barrymore. 646 00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:49,160 Speaker 2: And you know, actually I didn't see that. But anyways, 647 00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:52,080 Speaker 2: so I think, you know, there's it would just would 648 00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:53,880 Speaker 2: have to see. But I have brought that up to 649 00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:56,439 Speaker 2: him before because that is also because it's I don't 650 00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:58,759 Speaker 2: like missing vacations like that must have been hard for 651 00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:03,040 Speaker 2: you to see the beach vacation with him building sand 652 00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:06,120 Speaker 2: castles with the kids and of course and it would 653 00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:07,000 Speaker 2: be hard for me to see that. 654 00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:09,080 Speaker 1: Now it's hard, but I'm happy at the same time. 655 00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:09,719 Speaker 1: But it's weird. 656 00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:13,040 Speaker 2: Well no, but like it's it's hard when you guys 657 00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:15,359 Speaker 2: do your family vacation on the beach, but I also 658 00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:17,000 Speaker 2: like it's so good for them too, So I think 659 00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:19,760 Speaker 2: it's there's a piece of it where it's it's healthy 660 00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:22,239 Speaker 2: for the kids to have just their time with you. 661 00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:24,439 Speaker 2: But I think there is a world and I'd love 662 00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:26,359 Speaker 2: that that was my thing that I was going to say. 663 00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:28,640 Speaker 2: I would love for there to be It doesn't have 664 00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:32,560 Speaker 2: to be a yearly you know, vacation that we schedule 665 00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:34,960 Speaker 2: a lot, but I hope one day we could all 666 00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:37,000 Speaker 2: go somewhere together, you know. And so we're not sharing 667 00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:38,960 Speaker 2: the same bed, you know, it's just we're all at 668 00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:40,560 Speaker 2: the same happened to all be at the same beach, 669 00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:45,799 Speaker 2: and you know, but that that's that's again the pipe dream. 670 00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:50,759 Speaker 2: And I think at the end of the day, we're 671 00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:56,879 Speaker 2: we're our trajectory at least is good with where we're 672 00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:59,440 Speaker 2: at right now, you know. And because we have gotten 673 00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:02,560 Speaker 2: to the we know a lot of people that or 674 00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:06,200 Speaker 2: will only talk through email and or drop off at 675 00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:10,560 Speaker 2: Whole Foods and you know whatever. And I think it's 676 00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:13,200 Speaker 2: a testament obviously to all three of us. But also 677 00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:18,839 Speaker 2: it's not the easiest too at times, especially when things 678 00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:20,799 Speaker 2: come up or it's like the holidays and knowing that 679 00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:23,640 Speaker 2: we won't have the kids this year before for Christmas 680 00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:25,480 Speaker 2: Eve night, and you know, it's just it's it's not 681 00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:28,200 Speaker 2: so that brings up well why not? And so that 682 00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:34,160 Speaker 2: brings up old things too. But that's just what it is. 683 00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:37,200 Speaker 2: And you can either dwell in the past and the 684 00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:39,880 Speaker 2: resentment or you can go, Okay, this is a this 685 00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:42,160 Speaker 2: is just what it is, and feel the emotion and 686 00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:48,759 Speaker 2: then and then move on healthily. Is there one thing, Mike, 687 00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:53,200 Speaker 2: that you still have to that is your biggest challenge 688 00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:55,920 Speaker 2: with or resentment towards me. 689 00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:06,320 Speaker 1: Towards you? This is a producer question or a listener question, 690 00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:10,719 Speaker 1: but you question even better. I can honestly say I 691 00:40:10,719 --> 00:40:21,080 Speaker 1: don't have like a like active resentment towards you, like personally, 692 00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:26,399 Speaker 1: I really can't think there's things, Yes, there's things that 693 00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:29,200 Speaker 1: I do that bother you, there's things that you do 694 00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:32,400 Speaker 1: that bother me in align with co parenting maybe, but 695 00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:38,000 Speaker 1: I really I really can't say there's something that's because 696 00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:41,600 Speaker 1: it just is what it is and it's the whole. 697 00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:45,320 Speaker 1: Like I'm not going to give it any kind of 698 00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:48,239 Speaker 1: space or energy or my time anymore. Right, this is 699 00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:50,759 Speaker 1: like what does that do that doesn't do anything good 700 00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:53,879 Speaker 1: for me or for this relationship between you and I, 701 00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:55,520 Speaker 1: between the three of us, between all of us with 702 00:40:55,600 --> 00:41:04,040 Speaker 1: the kids, like and I'm genuinely happy for you, So 703 00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:05,759 Speaker 1: it's hard to be genuinely happy for you and have 704 00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:09,560 Speaker 1: resentment towards you. Normal Christmas bothers me. 705 00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:12,600 Speaker 2: I knew it. I knew it. I knew it, and 706 00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:15,799 Speaker 2: you know what, your response bothered me even more when 707 00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:18,800 Speaker 2: that happened. Let's get into it. Oh, this is a 708 00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:25,120 Speaker 2: juicy one guy Christmas double Christmas. No, he's just pissed. 709 00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:30,280 Speaker 1: A double Christmas day Yule Santa Santa, for some reason 710 00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:34,320 Speaker 1: now comes twice when you don't have them on Christmas morning, 711 00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:38,360 Speaker 1: and you sent. 712 00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:41,160 Speaker 2: Me the nastiest text message about that. Do you remember that? 713 00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:42,080 Speaker 1: I don't remember. 714 00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:44,239 Speaker 2: You can't change christ he remembers because I was like, 715 00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:45,800 Speaker 2: I guess I can't change Christmas. 716 00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:46,279 Speaker 4: No. 717 00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:49,239 Speaker 1: That was the one thing that had gotten me the 718 00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:52,600 Speaker 1: worst because it felt because it sucks right like again, 719 00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:54,759 Speaker 1: I don't want to be without them any day ever, 720 00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:56,960 Speaker 1: And so it felt like. 721 00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:58,319 Speaker 2: Were we just pissed that you didn't think of it? 722 00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:00,680 Speaker 1: No, I would have do. It felt like you were 723 00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:01,600 Speaker 1: taking Christmas from me. 724 00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:04,040 Speaker 2: Oh you had Christmas. 725 00:42:03,880 --> 00:42:06,320 Speaker 1: Because now it's like it just felt because I didn't 726 00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:07,719 Speaker 1: do that like when you had them. I was like, hey, 727 00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:09,960 Speaker 1: Christmas and then you come to Dad's that afternoon and 728 00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:13,239 Speaker 1: then we celebrate our way. And so when next year 729 00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:18,760 Speaker 1: it's like, wait, Santa comes twice? What the what just happened? 730 00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:23,759 Speaker 1: So it literally felt like you took my Christmas. 731 00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:26,839 Speaker 4: You had Christmas first? Is that right? 732 00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:30,279 Speaker 2: Did? You had Christmas first? So this was this was 733 00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:33,879 Speaker 2: when I flew out to England to see you on 734 00:42:34,040 --> 00:42:36,839 Speaker 2: and I flew home Christmas Eve night on twenty twenty one, 735 00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:39,719 Speaker 2: twenty two, twenty two. 736 00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:41,440 Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. You had Christmas first? 737 00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:43,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, I had Christmas first, yeah, yeah, and then the 738 00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:45,960 Speaker 2: second Christmas you had Christmas and then I had christ yeah. 739 00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:47,920 Speaker 2: And so then then when I flew home from so 740 00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:50,319 Speaker 2: basically when I flew home from England, it was Christmas Eve, 741 00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:53,200 Speaker 2: and I was really having a hard time not having 742 00:42:53,239 --> 00:42:56,040 Speaker 2: the Christmas morning having the kids run down the stairs. Yeah, 743 00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:59,760 Speaker 2: and so Sanna was going to come then, so Christmas 744 00:42:59,840 --> 00:43:02,160 Speaker 2: Day was going to be Christmas Eve is what I 745 00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:05,920 Speaker 2: did last year or sorry two years ago, and you 746 00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:06,520 Speaker 2: did not like that. 747 00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:10,880 Speaker 4: It was just two Christmas. Mike has this Christmas Day 748 00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:12,560 Speaker 4: and you have your Christmas? 749 00:43:13,719 --> 00:43:14,480 Speaker 2: Are you on my side? 750 00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:17,120 Speaker 1: Listen? 751 00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:20,960 Speaker 3: I am, because if it's different if if different, if 752 00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:26,120 Speaker 3: whoever has them on Christmas Day is the one who's 753 00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:31,279 Speaker 3: got the biggest power, right because you control Christmas Day. 754 00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:36,440 Speaker 3: So I'll be honest, if if if my ex was like, okay, 755 00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:39,600 Speaker 3: you've got you've got Troy and Christmas Day, I want 756 00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:42,480 Speaker 3: to I want to reenact Christmas Day on the twenty 757 00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:44,879 Speaker 3: six of that going crack on, do what you want. 758 00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:49,320 Speaker 1: That's fine, right, But the difference is there's a conversation. 759 00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:51,880 Speaker 2: Why do you think I have to have a conversation 760 00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:54,440 Speaker 2: with you about when Christmas is in my house? 761 00:43:55,280 --> 00:43:58,360 Speaker 1: Because it's do you think it was going to confuse 762 00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:00,560 Speaker 1: the kid? Here's the thing, It's not about that. 763 00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:05,160 Speaker 2: It's just like anything that I say, this all like. 764 00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:09,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's like everything I've like, if you just come. 765 00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:11,880 Speaker 2: To me, just why do I need your permission? 766 00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:14,600 Speaker 1: It's not it's not about permission. Has nothing to do 767 00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:15,560 Speaker 1: because you can do it. 768 00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:17,040 Speaker 2: Welcome to mine now and we're back. 769 00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:21,879 Speaker 1: We're back. It has nothing to do with me giving 770 00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:24,120 Speaker 1: you permission because I can't. I can't give you permission 771 00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:26,319 Speaker 1: and not tell you to do it. But it's the 772 00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:29,680 Speaker 1: respect thing, right, So when it comes to kids like hey, 773 00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:32,960 Speaker 1: this is not idea I had tell me, like your 774 00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:35,080 Speaker 1: thoughts on it. It's just like I really miss Chris, 775 00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:37,640 Speaker 1: miss Christmas morning. I'm not trying to undermine yours. It's 776 00:44:37,680 --> 00:44:40,200 Speaker 1: just what do you think? You know what? Again, it's 777 00:44:40,239 --> 00:44:44,200 Speaker 1: not about and if if you just come to me 778 00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:46,279 Speaker 1: like when do I? 779 00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:46,600 Speaker 2: When? 780 00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:48,480 Speaker 1: Am I ever like give you pushback when you come 781 00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:49,640 Speaker 1: to me and talk to me about something. 782 00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:53,520 Speaker 2: Well, the first time I told you about I wanted 783 00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:54,799 Speaker 2: I was dating someone. 784 00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:58,400 Speaker 1: Well that was just handled, completely handled. 785 00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:00,600 Speaker 2: I sat you down and brought you to lunch. I 786 00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:01,360 Speaker 2: paid for lunch. 787 00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:05,440 Speaker 1: Anyways, No, you, that wasn't a discussion. You were telling you. 788 00:45:05,719 --> 00:45:06,879 Speaker 2: I was telling you I was dating some much. 789 00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:08,640 Speaker 1: You were introducing him to the kids that I was 790 00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:11,799 Speaker 1: going to. Yes, yeah, it wasn't a conversation. Is you 791 00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:17,040 Speaker 1: just telling okay? Anyways, everything's great. No, again, it's not 792 00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:20,080 Speaker 1: about permission. It's just like anything with the kids. I 793 00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:22,319 Speaker 1: would love a conversation around it's your house, it's you 794 00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:25,360 Speaker 1: can do whatever the hell you want, obviously, but I wouldn't. 795 00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:27,799 Speaker 1: It just felt like you were just altering, making this 796 00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:33,399 Speaker 1: shift of all of a sudden that it just took 797 00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:35,319 Speaker 1: me by surprise. And that's what pissed me off. It 798 00:45:35,320 --> 00:45:37,920 Speaker 1: took me by surprise, and it felt like it was 799 00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:40,120 Speaker 1: a purposeful thing not to talk to me about because 800 00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:41,600 Speaker 1: you just wanted to undermine my Christmas. 801 00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:43,920 Speaker 2: Like I took it personally, right, That's what you made up, 802 00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:45,520 Speaker 2: is that I was trying to undermine and it really 803 00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:51,080 Speaker 2: had nothing to do so hearing this conversation, I do 804 00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:54,200 Speaker 2: apologize that that's what a you made up and then 805 00:45:54,360 --> 00:46:00,239 Speaker 2: that's what you thought and felt around that situation. I didn't. 806 00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:02,879 Speaker 2: I wasn't trying to do it in a malicious way. 807 00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:06,080 Speaker 2: It was more of a the kids are at such 808 00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:08,400 Speaker 2: a beautiful fun age that I didn't want to miss 809 00:46:08,520 --> 00:46:11,280 Speaker 2: their running down and trickling down, and you tell. 810 00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:13,160 Speaker 1: Me that would have been like, yeah, I totally get that. 811 00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:15,399 Speaker 2: I think though in that space is I'm like, why 812 00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:17,640 Speaker 2: do I have to tell you? And I can see 813 00:46:17,640 --> 00:46:20,239 Speaker 2: both sides where you're like just the respect thing, okay, fine, 814 00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:23,000 Speaker 2: but I'm also likes ye. 815 00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:28,480 Speaker 1: In my mind right I It's like, it's because it's 816 00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:33,600 Speaker 1: it's Christmas. You're the day after we had done trigger treating, 817 00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:37,320 Speaker 1: you turned on Christmas music. Yeah, like there thirty first. 818 00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:38,960 Speaker 1: Your tree was up the next. 819 00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:42,040 Speaker 2: Day, which we need help, by the way, straightening straightened out. 820 00:46:42,680 --> 00:46:45,720 Speaker 1: But that's a real reason I was allowed on today. 821 00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:47,560 Speaker 1: They just needed me over here. 822 00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:52,520 Speaker 2: So yeah, well let's have a conversation because this year 823 00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:54,359 Speaker 2: is the same year as it was two years ago. 824 00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:57,960 Speaker 1: Well, yeah, it's already been done, So what about What 825 00:46:58,040 --> 00:46:59,960 Speaker 1: the hell I say? Now? I know you're gonna do it. 826 00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:02,080 Speaker 2: Not necessarily. I haven't talked to Alan about it because 827 00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:06,960 Speaker 2: it's really a conversation between us now and then you know, 828 00:47:07,080 --> 00:47:09,200 Speaker 2: when it comes to because we have a child now, 829 00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:12,000 Speaker 2: and you know. 830 00:47:12,080 --> 00:47:14,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't want Roman being brought up thinking those 831 00:47:14,120 --> 00:47:20,880 Speaker 3: two days of Christmas, double presence every Christmas, right, So 832 00:47:20,960 --> 00:47:23,319 Speaker 3: I think that, you know, if I put it back 833 00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:29,200 Speaker 3: to a scenario when Troy was younger and my ex 834 00:47:29,320 --> 00:47:32,880 Speaker 3: was like, Okay, you've got one Christmas Day and so 835 00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:37,319 Speaker 3: therefore on Boxing Day, I'm gonna make it like it's 836 00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:38,520 Speaker 3: Christmas Day again. 837 00:47:40,800 --> 00:47:44,680 Speaker 4: Like okay, whatever, it sounds good. He gets two Christmases. Perfect, 838 00:47:45,040 --> 00:47:45,640 Speaker 4: he's happy. 839 00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:48,880 Speaker 3: So I don't I don't know how the communication was 840 00:47:48,920 --> 00:47:50,600 Speaker 3: exactly and how it said at the time. 841 00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:53,080 Speaker 2: I just didn't say anything. He just found out from 842 00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:56,120 Speaker 2: I don't even know how you found out. But It 843 00:47:56,160 --> 00:48:00,439 Speaker 2: wasn't like I was trying to hide or I really 844 00:48:00,440 --> 00:48:03,640 Speaker 2: don't know. I might even have no idea, but. 845 00:48:06,360 --> 00:48:08,319 Speaker 1: I think I literally like saw your story and. 846 00:48:08,440 --> 00:48:11,719 Speaker 2: Was like, oh right, what right? Because I did say 847 00:48:11,719 --> 00:48:12,920 Speaker 2: that at my store. I was like, I think this year, 848 00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:17,200 Speaker 2: I'm going to do that way. It wouldn't hurt this 849 00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:19,320 Speaker 2: the sting of it wouldn't be as bad. But listen, 850 00:48:19,320 --> 00:48:20,880 Speaker 2: I mean I ended up having the flu anyway, So 851 00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:21,440 Speaker 2: it was. 852 00:48:21,400 --> 00:48:24,279 Speaker 1: A anyways, moving on this neither hear Nord there? 853 00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:28,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, So that was part one of wind Down. Hey, Mike, 854 00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:30,400 Speaker 2: you want to join us for a part two on 855 00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:31,160 Speaker 2: adult education. 856 00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:32,359 Speaker 1: Let's run it back. 857 00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:36,200 Speaker 2: See you in a few days.