Speaker 1: This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 1: Chris Harrison coming to you from the home office in Austin, Texas,
Speaker 1: and today's episode is a continuation of my conversation with
Speaker 1: Colton Underwood, the former Bachelor who famously jumped the fence
Speaker 1: in Portugal and took off into the night with me
Speaker 1: trying to keep up with him. But we talked to
Speaker 1: Colton about he and his husband Jordan, having a baby,
Speaker 1: the joyous news that we got, and we are so
Speaker 1: happy for him. They are going to be incredible parents,
Speaker 1: and I'm so excited. And there was one other layer
Speaker 1: to this I wanted to get to because as much
Speaker 1: as Colton and I have talked, one thing we haven't
Speaker 1: done publicly is talk about his time on The Bachelor.
Speaker 1: Does he have any regrets? Did he know he was
Speaker 1: gay coming into this? Was there any time when he
Speaker 1: wanted to just scream from the rooftop stop filming. As
Speaker 1: much as we have discussed, we've never really publicly gotten
Speaker 1: into this in his time on the show, and I
Speaker 1: had a lot of questions for him. So I want
Speaker 1: to continue my conversation with Colton Underwood, you know, getting
Speaker 1: you on the podcast today. I was also excited because
Speaker 1: you and I we've never really talked about being on
Speaker 1: the Bachelor, going through everything. You and I really have
Speaker 1: never publicly gotten together before, no, I.
Speaker 2: Know, and privately though there were many late night phone
Speaker 2: calls and WTF texts and screenshots and all sorts of
Speaker 2: things and being like, what is going on? And I
Speaker 2: will say this like, and I think I've said it
Speaker 2: before too, and like what you went through and what
Speaker 2: I had to go through, just having somebody who was
Speaker 2: there for me and supporting in an ear and a shoulder,
Speaker 2: with the ability to like say, hey, you're going to
Speaker 2: have to own like you have to take responsibility or
Speaker 2: you have to own this, and just a good friend.
Speaker 2: I can't say thank you enough for that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well you're very welcome. And uh, you know I
Speaker 1: always say if you love somebody and they're your friend,
Speaker 1: they're your friend. Good bad ugly, you know, good press,
Speaker 1: bad press. We got to get through it, and you
Speaker 1: get through it together. And there were some dark times
Speaker 1: and and I appreciated how you did own up to
Speaker 1: everything and we got through it. And same thing with me.
Speaker 1: You guys, you you and then now Jordan were there
Speaker 1: when Lauren and I went through the melee we went
Speaker 1: through and you get through this stuff together and you
Speaker 1: learn and you try to have grace and love and
Speaker 1: and here we are and it's you know, it's it's
Speaker 1: the things that those stories and everything is what made
Speaker 1: us who we are and it's gotten us to this
Speaker 1: point today.
Speaker 2: For sure. Yeah, I think, look like anything in life,
Speaker 2: things are complicated and layered and complex and there's not
Speaker 2: a straight single answer that a lot of people are
Speaker 2: looking for. And I know very much like that was
Speaker 2: that was for sure my journey and just knowing the
Speaker 2: little glimpse of three shows in one year that I
Speaker 2: got to do and be a part of, Like that's
Speaker 2: a it's a beast of a franchise and it's a
Speaker 2: it's a huge undertaking. It's a huge toll on on
Speaker 2: your body physically and mentally. So it's just my heart
Speaker 2: always goes out to anybody who goes through that, you know,
Speaker 2: It's just it's a it's a hard commitment. It's not
Speaker 2: as easy as people think.
Speaker 1: Do you you know, this might be a weird question
Speaker 1: because yeah, you might redo it, but do you regret
Speaker 1: doing it or do you respect the fact that it
Speaker 1: took that to get you to where you are today.
Speaker 2: You know, I've been asked that before, and I really
Speaker 2: truly at this point, you know, I can always admit
Speaker 2: that I have regrets. I think I'm appre I appreciate
Speaker 2: that I did have to go through that, and I
Speaker 2: I think I strategically put myself through that to try
Speaker 2: to be straight so badly because I wanted that so badly. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and look, I I do think there is a good chance,
Speaker 2: like if I didn't go through that, like I wouldn't
Speaker 2: be here on this earth like I And that sounds
Speaker 2: really sad and messed up to say, but like if
Speaker 2: I didn't have that experience, like I wouldn't I just
Speaker 2: wantn't have survived. And you know, mixing the global pandemic
Speaker 2: and quarantining and then coming out during the pandemic just
Speaker 2: on top of it, it's complicated. So I guess, like
Speaker 2: the short answer is like, no, I wish I wouldn't have,
Speaker 2: Like for a lot of people's sakes, I would have
Speaker 2: saved a lot of people time. But also like if
Speaker 2: anybody can learn and look at my point of view,
Speaker 2: in my opinion, it saved my life and it allowed
Speaker 2: me to live the life that I would like always
Speaker 2: wanted but never thought I could live. So I think
Speaker 2: like there is some beauty in that.
Speaker 1: I was curious if you ever came close during filming
Speaker 1: to just saying, hey, I tried, I'm trying to be
Speaker 1: this person. I'm realiz using I'm not or did you
Speaker 1: not have that realization yet?
Speaker 2: No? I mean, look, deep down, I knew I like
Speaker 2: I knew I was gay while we were filming, but
Speaker 2: there was also a part of me, maybe not as
Speaker 2: deep down, that felt like I could possibly change, like
Speaker 2: there was hope. It was confusing because I was still
Speaker 2: feeling like I had an attractive level to women, but
Speaker 2: there was never space and an opportunity. And this is
Speaker 2: not on you, as like the host of the show,
Speaker 2: but I never felt comfortable approaching you and or production
Speaker 2: saying I'm struggling with my sexuality here, like let's have
Speaker 2: this conversation, and I don't look, look, I don't even
Speaker 2: know if you would have been able to like handle
Speaker 2: that of basticularly being like, holy crap.
Speaker 1: I would like to think that the show could have,
Speaker 1: but deep down I know it wouldn't have. And I
Speaker 1: hate to say that, and it's not a dig at
Speaker 1: the show. It's just not what that does it they're
Speaker 1: there for, and I think it would have been bastardized
Speaker 1: and exploited. And I mean, hell, they tried anyway, you know,
Speaker 1: even without your your blessing. I mean that was the
Speaker 1: whole Billy Eichner comment. He didn't come up with that comment.
Speaker 1: He was told to say that. You know, you and
Speaker 1: I have had these discussions, you know how they tried
Speaker 1: to you know, they had their suspicions and tried to
Speaker 1: out you and throughout the show, and so you know,
Speaker 1: I would love to have said, hey, I wish you
Speaker 1: would stop me on the beach when we were jogging
Speaker 1: one day in Vietnam and said hey, man, can we
Speaker 1: have this conversation you and I could have, But I
Speaker 1: don't think it would have been handled better on the show.
Speaker 2: I agree, And I think there is there is a
Speaker 2: part that I was so in it too that I
Speaker 2: really didn't fully understand who I couldn't and could trust.
Speaker 2: I think that's also as you know too, Like I
Speaker 2: think there was this one the one moment where after
Speaker 2: like I jumped the fence and the next day I
Speaker 2: came back and we sat down and I looked at
Speaker 2: you and like the first two questions were great, and
Speaker 2: I felt like we were in this conversation. All of
Speaker 2: a sudden, I like get a pick up and I
Speaker 2: see you know, you're wearing your in ear and I
Speaker 2: was like, Chris, can you take the in here out?
Speaker 2: And like let's just have a conversation here and you're
Speaker 2: like yeah, and you took it out and hit it
Speaker 2: and you're like and that I always appreciate it, and
Speaker 2: that from them that moment, I knew I could trust you,
Speaker 2: because like, Okay, here's somebody who values me and my
Speaker 2: life and my story and what I'm going through over
Speaker 2: making a good TV show. So like I I now,
Speaker 2: I know that I could trust you. But back then,
Speaker 2: when we were on that beach running around, I was
Speaker 2: like there was there would have been no space space
Speaker 2: for me to know who I couldn't and COO trusts.
Speaker 1: And that's very fair. I definitely would have told you
Speaker 1: to feel the same way. I mean, it's you know
Speaker 1: it because you're doing a show, and you know I
Speaker 1: always the show can catch a lot of grief for
Speaker 1: a lot of things, but at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: they are doing something that is it's a business to
Speaker 1: make money, and you are part of that business making money.
Speaker 1: And it's odd because yes, it's our lives and it's
Speaker 1: artistic and there's all these other layers to it. At
Speaker 1: the end of the day, it's a job and you're
Speaker 1: hired essentially to do a job, even if that job
Speaker 1: is to fall in love. So it's a very interesting dynamic.
Speaker 1: And I always try to tell people, you got to
Speaker 1: understand the Colton's and the Hannahs and all these people
Speaker 1: of the world. Yeah, they signed up for this, but
Speaker 1: don't give me the oh, they should know what they're
Speaker 1: getting themselves into, because it's just you don't know until
Speaker 1: you're in the middle of it. And it's different for
Speaker 1: everybody totally.
Speaker 2: I mean, that's that's the thing. And I think for
Speaker 2: people to understand too, Like most of these leads right
Speaker 2: now when they get tapped to lead that show are
Speaker 2: in their twenties. I mean yeah, Like you know, I
Speaker 2: especially was emotionally stunted because of sports, and I'm like, look,
Speaker 2: I know you have a son who is in the
Speaker 2: cross and committed to that sport very like, but I
Speaker 2: know he also has a girlfriend. But like for me,
Speaker 2: I just didn't. I avoided relationships and I avoided like
Speaker 2: trying to figure out like my emotional growth. So by
Speaker 2: the time I was a bachelor, yes, I was like
Speaker 2: what twenty five twenty six when I did that show.
Speaker 2: Emotionally though, I was still a teenager, I was still immature,
Speaker 2: didn't really know what I was looking for. Probably shouldn't
Speaker 2: have been in that position. But also is like, this
Speaker 2: is an opportunity of a lifetime that for many different
Speaker 2: reasons that I'm looking for.
Speaker 1: But but yeah, I mean there's there's always layers to
Speaker 1: a person being the Bachelor bacherette. And I mean you
Speaker 1: and I have had long discussions about this, and I
Speaker 1: thought long and hard about it. I mean, because it's
Speaker 1: like being a child star. You were a sports star.
Speaker 1: You went to the NFL the point one percent make
Speaker 1: it to the NFL, but it also you kind of
Speaker 1: stopped growing because you are so worried about growing to
Speaker 1: be an athlete, and you got this this thing and
Speaker 1: so this other party you kind of stops and the
Speaker 1: rest kept going. And so you're a grown man, you're
Speaker 1: playing in the NFL, and then all of a sudden
Speaker 1: you're the Bachelor. It's like, but this other part of
Speaker 1: you never had a chance to catch up, and that's
Speaker 1: what kind of slingshot, and that's I think it took
Speaker 1: the Bachelor. And again, I'm with you. I think at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, I would say, don't regret that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: sure you can apologize and you wish it had gone
Speaker 1: better for certain people, but at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: it caused you to catch up and the scales got
Speaker 1: to even out a little bit for you.
Speaker 2: I would definitely agree with that. I think that's a
Speaker 2: great way to put it. I never thought of it
Speaker 2: like like that, but yeah, it was very much. I
Speaker 2: prioritized a different career than I did, like my own
Speaker 2: personal growth, and all of a sudden, I'm in this
Speaker 2: intense year of filming Bachelorette, Bachelor and Paradise Bachelor and
Speaker 2: doing all of this self work. And that's also like,
Speaker 2: that's also why I somewhat am at peace with even
Speaker 2: the women who were on my season, and I feel
Speaker 2: like they also went through a lot of self work too,
Speaker 2: and they got out what they wanted out of that
Speaker 2: show too, you know. And you know, I do hear
Speaker 2: that or see comments every once in a while, being
Speaker 2: like you wasted so many women's time. I'm like, they
Speaker 2: had a good time and went to travel the world
Speaker 2: with me. Yeah, it's complicated.
Speaker 1: And by the way, it's it only was going to
Speaker 1: end up good for you mean, ninety nine percent of
Speaker 1: the people that come on the show don't end up
Speaker 1: with somebody. That's that's that's you know, I'm not a
Speaker 1: big believer in all that. I mean, if you had
Speaker 1: had that understanding and you came in to fool everybody
Speaker 1: and you actually showed up to deceive us, all, that's
Speaker 1: one thing. But having that realization later there's not much
Speaker 1: difference than that, and say, Bob Guiney finding out later
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm not ready for a relationship. You know,
Speaker 1: did he waste everybody's time technically, but he didn't do
Speaker 1: it to deceive anybody. You weren't being malicious, you know,
Speaker 1: that wasn't in your heart at the time.
Speaker 2: No, there was lots of christs or help. That's sort
Speaker 2: of what I'm realizing is like my sub blanch is
Speaker 2: basically being like, help help me come out, help me
Speaker 2: get through this, Tell me what's right, tell me what's wrong?
Speaker 2: What do we need to do?
Speaker 1: Was there anything as you look back because a lot
Speaker 1: of people have come on the podcast and they've said,
Speaker 1: you know, I had a question for you. I've always
Speaker 1: wondered this, and you and I have had a lot
Speaker 1: of these conversations. But I'm just curious if there's still
Speaker 1: anything that sticks out to you that you wonder about
Speaker 1: with the show with me or anything that happened.
Speaker 2: You know, most of them I've already asked you. I
Speaker 2: you know I was. I was so paranoid though, like
Speaker 2: just because and I've publicly said this before too, Like
Speaker 2: you know, I did have a like not a relationship,
Speaker 2: but like a physical relationship with a man before, like
Speaker 2: I went on too that show. So I was always
Speaker 2: so paranoid. But the majority, and this is the sad part,
Speaker 2: and also what I want people to realize, is like
Speaker 2: that easily could have been me. Most of those men
Speaker 2: who I had had it some sort of physical connection
Speaker 2: with were married with families and like in a similar
Speaker 2: position that I was like in and my process behind
Speaker 2: and that was, if they're going to help me, they
Speaker 2: have to have just as much, if not more, to
Speaker 2: lose than what I have. So my I was always
Speaker 2: sort of operating with so much anxiety while we were
Speaker 2: filming that show, and while that show was airing, and
Speaker 2: while I was doing press that there would be like
Speaker 2: that one person who like emails a producer and the like,
Speaker 2: I know he hooked up with my friend, you know
Speaker 2: here in this state. And so that was always something
Speaker 2: that I was a little nervous about. And some things
Speaker 2: like necessary questions. It's more so too, like the way
Speaker 2: that my virginity was handled, like of course, like I
Speaker 2: would have loved to give a straight answer of why
Speaker 2: I was a virgin. I hid beyond my faith, I
Speaker 2: hid behind football, I hid behind I mean you know
Speaker 2: this because you had to ask me ten million times
Speaker 2: on the show, and I would give you a different
Speaker 2: answer every time you asked me. And they're like everybody's
Speaker 2: like I remember, like there's people who even publicly were like,
Speaker 2: why is he a virgin again? And I'm like, because
Speaker 2: I couldn't say I'm questioning my sexuality to Chris, so
Speaker 2: I had to say all of these other things. Now
Speaker 2: that I've been in this industry for a little bit,
Speaker 2: you that's a machine of a franchise and you have
Speaker 2: to do some savage things to get to that level.
Speaker 2: And now I have full a better understanding of what
Speaker 2: they do and how they operate and who they are.
Speaker 2: And I've also had the privilege and opportunity to work
Speaker 2: with other production companies since that and know that that's
Speaker 2: not the norm. I think that was the cool thing
Speaker 2: about getting out love it, appreciate it for what it
Speaker 2: did and taught me, but also realize it's just not
Speaker 2: for me. Like that. The way that they roll is
Speaker 2: is not how I want to roll and not how
Speaker 2: I want to do business. And I feel like you
Speaker 2: can still entertain people and put on a good show
Speaker 2: and take care of those people too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you can, and that's that's happening, and that's
Speaker 1: what's happening more and more, and so it's you know,
Speaker 1: I had to take people aside when they came on
Speaker 1: the show and tell them when they were new, look,
Speaker 1: I know you've been in the business for a while.
Speaker 1: We do television unlike anybody's ever done television, and some
Speaker 1: of it's just a victim of our success. Like a
Speaker 1: lot of these people grew up. They were eighteen, nineteen,
Speaker 1: twenty years old. They started working on the show because
Speaker 1: it was a nothing show, and then they stayed on
Speaker 1: the show for twenty years. And so they never really
Speaker 1: learned anywhere else to bring kind of the technical TV
Speaker 1: skills in. So they just created this system. And so
Speaker 1: we did things a lot of times in a very
Speaker 1: backwards way, but it's the way we did it. And so,
Speaker 1: you know, and I went off and did Millionaire, you know,
Speaker 1: spelling Bee, and I did a million other shows, and so,
Speaker 1: I mean, I had a lot of experience, and so
Speaker 1: I always just I knew when it came back to
Speaker 1: the Bachelor, this is how we do television. It's just
Speaker 1: it's very backwards in the way producers ran the show
Speaker 1: and as opposed to a director, et cetera. It was
Speaker 1: very interesting. And you're right, it doesn't have to be
Speaker 1: that way, and it's not on a lot of places.
Speaker 1: But I always said, they're just a victim of their
Speaker 1: own success, and that's it's not a terrible and that's
Speaker 1: not a terrible thing. They've been, you know, going for
Speaker 1: twenty years now, So it is what it is. Things
Speaker 1: I do know, do you keep up with the franchise
Speaker 1: at all? Do you still watch? Do you know what's happening?
Speaker 2: I don't I know what's happening because I'm on social
Speaker 2: media and I see things like I saw obviously, you
Speaker 2: know the success of Golden Bachelor. I also saw they
Speaker 2: broke up immediately after, you know, like I definitely see it.
Speaker 2: I don't tune in, I don't watch. I have, you know,
Speaker 2: a texting relationship with a few of the producers over there.
Speaker 2: And I'm at peace now with it, Like I don't,
Speaker 2: I have zero ill will towards them. I'm actually appreciative
Speaker 2: of like what I've gone through and what they've been through.
Speaker 2: I think hopefully they've learned a few things. I know
Speaker 2: a few people have been in and out of out
Speaker 2: of working for them now, so I keep up a
Speaker 2: little bit, but I want to go back because one
Speaker 2: thing that always stood out to me that you told
Speaker 2: me on the day that we shot our promo photos
Speaker 2: for the season. You said, Hey, I'm Chris. I just
Speaker 2: want to like introduce myself in like you leaned in
Speaker 2: your like pick your battles wisely. It's like choose, choose
Speaker 2: your battles wisely. And I was like, okay, So that
Speaker 2: was sort of my mind to do this whole thing.
Speaker 2: Is like anytime I wanted to get upset or being
Speaker 2: like fight and resist it, I had to remind myself, Okay,
Speaker 2: is this worth it? And there were very few moments
Speaker 2: where I was like, okay, this is worth it. And
Speaker 2: then I think you saw the you know, the mountain
Speaker 2: explode and Portugal, when I finally jumped the fence, I
Speaker 2: was like, okay, I cannot do this. But yeah, you
Speaker 2: always you always, Yeah, you always gave good advice.
Speaker 1: Yeah I know I did mean that because I saw
Speaker 1: bachelors and bacherettes that would fight for everything. And you know,
Speaker 1: it's one of those old sayings. If you stand for everything,
Speaker 1: you stand for nothing, and you know you can't win
Speaker 1: and fight every battle every day because they're shooting a show.
Speaker 1: And I told you this, and I told I told
Speaker 1: every bachelor and bacherette. I said, look, you have to
Speaker 1: give a little. There's things we have to do to
Speaker 1: shoot a television show. But if it's something that means
Speaker 1: enough to you, then hold your ground and dig in.
Speaker 1: And that's the hill you got to be willing to
Speaker 1: die on. And Portugal was the hill you were willing
Speaker 1: to die on. I was willing to die on it
Speaker 1: for sure, Yes you did. Instead you just cleared it
Speaker 1: and off off into the wilderness. Well, hey, I know
Speaker 1: you're in New York and as Jordan with you, you
Speaker 1: guys head in to a show.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're going to a Broadway show tonight and then
Speaker 2: doing dinner, and we're really just like taking this moment
Speaker 2: for ourselves, like we uh, we came out. We were
Speaker 2: both in DC for some work. I'm still doing some
Speaker 2: lobbying for mental health bill that I that I'm working on.
Speaker 2: And Jordan obviously is gearing up. He does a lot
Speaker 2: of social impact around politics and there's a lot going
Speaker 2: on in our country and now unfortunately, so we're working
Speaker 2: to just continue to continue to try to serve as
Speaker 2: bridges to many different people's cultures, communities, and but right
Speaker 2: now we're sort of just wrapping each other with love
Speaker 2: and joining where we're at.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, it's easy for it would have been
Speaker 1: easy for you guys after you got married, to just
Speaker 1: disappear and never be heard from again. But to use
Speaker 1: what you have for good and to be a bridge
Speaker 1: for for hope, for good, for love and all that is.
Speaker 1: It's a good thing. It's a wonderful thing, and not
Speaker 1: everyone will see it like that. But that's not your job.
Speaker 1: Your jobs not to try and convince everybody. But I
Speaker 1: appreciate what you guys do, and I always appreciate your
Speaker 1: time and more importantly, always appreciate your friendship.
Speaker 2: Well, thank you. I appreciate you and Lauren both, and
Speaker 2: I know Jordan wanted me to tell you hello and
Speaker 2: her hello as well. So yeah, I can't wait for
Speaker 2: our next hang, whether we're in Austin or you're you're.
Speaker 1: Out in la likewise, and I can't wait for that
Speaker 1: first family meal when we're there and you guys have
Speaker 1: a baby and y'all are just getting spit up on
Speaker 1: and foods everywhere, and Laura and I just get to
Speaker 1: sit there and have our glass of wine and just
Speaker 1: get to relish.
Speaker 2: Sure this, buddy, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the best of things. It's the worst of things.
Speaker 1: Get some sleep because October will come quickly. Love you
Speaker 1: guys all the best, and I will talk to you soon, all.
Speaker 2: Right, Thank you, appreciate you, Thanks for listening.
Speaker 1: Follow us on Instagram at the most dramatic pod ever
Speaker 1: and make sure to write us a review and leave
Speaker 1: us five stars. I'll talk to you at time.