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Speaker 1: This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast.

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Speaker 1: Chris Harrison coming to you from the home office in Austin, Texas,

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Speaker 1: and today's episode is a continuation of my conversation with

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Speaker 1: Colton Underwood, the former Bachelor who famously jumped the fence

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Speaker 1: in Portugal and took off into the night with me

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Speaker 1: trying to keep up with him. But we talked to

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Speaker 1: Colton about he and his husband Jordan, having a baby,

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Speaker 1: the joyous news that we got, and we are so

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Speaker 1: happy for him. They are going to be incredible parents,

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Speaker 1: and I'm so excited. And there was one other layer

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Speaker 1: to this I wanted to get to because as much

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Speaker 1: as Colton and I have talked, one thing we haven't

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Speaker 1: done publicly is talk about his time on The Bachelor.

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Speaker 1: Does he have any regrets? Did he know he was

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Speaker 1: gay coming into this? Was there any time when he

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Speaker 1: wanted to just scream from the rooftop stop filming. As

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Speaker 1: much as we have discussed, we've never really publicly gotten

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Speaker 1: into this in his time on the show, and I

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Speaker 1: had a lot of questions for him. So I want

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Speaker 1: to continue my conversation with Colton Underwood, you know, getting

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Speaker 1: you on the podcast today. I was also excited because

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Speaker 1: you and I we've never really talked about being on

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Speaker 1: the Bachelor, going through everything. You and I really have

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Speaker 1: never publicly gotten together before, no, I.

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Speaker 2: Know, and privately though there were many late night phone

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Speaker 2: calls and WTF texts and screenshots and all sorts of

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Speaker 2: things and being like, what is going on? And I

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Speaker 2: will say this like, and I think I've said it

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Speaker 2: before too, and like what you went through and what

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Speaker 2: I had to go through, just having somebody who was

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Speaker 2: there for me and supporting in an ear and a shoulder,

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Speaker 2: with the ability to like say, hey, you're going to

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Speaker 2: have to own like you have to take responsibility or

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Speaker 2: you have to own this, and just a good friend.

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Speaker 2: I can't say thank you enough for that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well you're very welcome. And uh, you know I

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Speaker 1: always say if you love somebody and they're your friend,

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Speaker 1: they're your friend. Good bad ugly, you know, good press,

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Speaker 1: bad press. We got to get through it, and you

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Speaker 1: get through it together. And there were some dark times

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Speaker 1: and and I appreciated how you did own up to

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Speaker 1: everything and we got through it. And same thing with me.

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Speaker 1: You guys, you you and then now Jordan were there

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Speaker 1: when Lauren and I went through the melee we went

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Speaker 1: through and you get through this stuff together and you

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Speaker 1: learn and you try to have grace and love and

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Speaker 1: and here we are and it's you know, it's it's

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Speaker 1: the things that those stories and everything is what made

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Speaker 1: us who we are and it's gotten us to this

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Speaker 1: point today.

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Speaker 2: For sure. Yeah, I think, look like anything in life,

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Speaker 2: things are complicated and layered and complex and there's not

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Speaker 2: a straight single answer that a lot of people are

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Speaker 2: looking for. And I know very much like that was

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Speaker 2: that was for sure my journey and just knowing the

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Speaker 2: little glimpse of three shows in one year that I

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Speaker 2: got to do and be a part of, Like that's

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Speaker 2: a it's a beast of a franchise and it's a

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Speaker 2: it's a huge undertaking. It's a huge toll on on

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Speaker 2: your body physically and mentally. So it's just my heart

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Speaker 2: always goes out to anybody who goes through that, you know,

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Speaker 2: It's just it's a it's a hard commitment. It's not

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Speaker 2: as easy as people think.

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Speaker 1: Do you you know, this might be a weird question

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Speaker 1: because yeah, you might redo it, but do you regret

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Speaker 1: doing it or do you respect the fact that it

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Speaker 1: took that to get you to where you are today.

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Speaker 2: You know, I've been asked that before, and I really

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Speaker 2: truly at this point, you know, I can always admit

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Speaker 2: that I have regrets. I think I'm appre I appreciate

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Speaker 2: that I did have to go through that, and I

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Speaker 2: I think I strategically put myself through that to try

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Speaker 2: to be straight so badly because I wanted that so badly. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and look, I I do think there is a good chance,

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Speaker 2: like if I didn't go through that, like I wouldn't

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Speaker 2: be here on this earth like I And that sounds

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Speaker 2: really sad and messed up to say, but like if

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Speaker 2: I didn't have that experience, like I wouldn't I just

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Speaker 2: wantn't have survived. And you know, mixing the global pandemic

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Speaker 2: and quarantining and then coming out during the pandemic just

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Speaker 2: on top of it, it's complicated. So I guess, like

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Speaker 2: the short answer is like, no, I wish I wouldn't have,

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Speaker 2: Like for a lot of people's sakes, I would have

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Speaker 2: saved a lot of people time. But also like if

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Speaker 2: anybody can learn and look at my point of view,

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Speaker 2: in my opinion, it saved my life and it allowed

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Speaker 2: me to live the life that I would like always

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Speaker 2: wanted but never thought I could live. So I think

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Speaker 2: like there is some beauty in that.

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Speaker 1: I was curious if you ever came close during filming

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Speaker 1: to just saying, hey, I tried, I'm trying to be

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Speaker 1: this person. I'm realiz using I'm not or did you

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Speaker 1: not have that realization yet?

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Speaker 2: No? I mean, look, deep down, I knew I like

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Speaker 2: I knew I was gay while we were filming, but

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Speaker 2: there was also a part of me, maybe not as

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Speaker 2: deep down, that felt like I could possibly change, like

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Speaker 2: there was hope. It was confusing because I was still

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Speaker 2: feeling like I had an attractive level to women, but

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Speaker 2: there was never space and an opportunity. And this is

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Speaker 2: not on you, as like the host of the show,

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Speaker 2: but I never felt comfortable approaching you and or production

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Speaker 2: saying I'm struggling with my sexuality here, like let's have

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Speaker 2: this conversation, and I don't look, look, I don't even

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Speaker 2: know if you would have been able to like handle

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Speaker 2: that of basticularly being like, holy crap.

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Speaker 1: I would like to think that the show could have,

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Speaker 1: but deep down I know it wouldn't have. And I

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Speaker 1: hate to say that, and it's not a dig at

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Speaker 1: the show. It's just not what that does it they're

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Speaker 1: there for, and I think it would have been bastardized

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Speaker 1: and exploited. And I mean, hell, they tried anyway, you know,

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Speaker 1: even without your your blessing. I mean that was the

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Speaker 1: whole Billy Eichner comment. He didn't come up with that comment.

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Speaker 1: He was told to say that. You know, you and

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Speaker 1: I have had these discussions, you know how they tried

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Speaker 1: to you know, they had their suspicions and tried to

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Speaker 1: out you and throughout the show, and so you know,

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Speaker 1: I would love to have said, hey, I wish you

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Speaker 1: would stop me on the beach when we were jogging

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Speaker 1: one day in Vietnam and said hey, man, can we

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Speaker 1: have this conversation you and I could have, But I

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Speaker 1: don't think it would have been handled better on the show.

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Speaker 2: I agree, And I think there is there is a

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Speaker 2: part that I was so in it too that I

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Speaker 2: really didn't fully understand who I couldn't and could trust.

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Speaker 2: I think that's also as you know too, Like I

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Speaker 2: think there was this one the one moment where after

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Speaker 2: like I jumped the fence and the next day I

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Speaker 2: came back and we sat down and I looked at

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Speaker 2: you and like the first two questions were great, and

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Speaker 2: I felt like we were in this conversation. All of

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Speaker 2: a sudden, I like get a pick up and I

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Speaker 2: see you know, you're wearing your in ear and I

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Speaker 2: was like, Chris, can you take the in here out?

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Speaker 2: And like let's just have a conversation here and you're

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Speaker 2: like yeah, and you took it out and hit it

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Speaker 2: and you're like and that I always appreciate it, and

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Speaker 2: that from them that moment, I knew I could trust you,

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Speaker 2: because like, Okay, here's somebody who values me and my

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Speaker 2: life and my story and what I'm going through over

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Speaker 2: making a good TV show. So like I I now,

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Speaker 2: I know that I could trust you. But back then,

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Speaker 2: when we were on that beach running around, I was

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Speaker 2: like there was there would have been no space space

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Speaker 2: for me to know who I couldn't and COO trusts.

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Speaker 1: And that's very fair. I definitely would have told you

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Speaker 1: to feel the same way. I mean, it's you know

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Speaker 1: it because you're doing a show, and you know I

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Speaker 1: always the show can catch a lot of grief for

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Speaker 1: a lot of things, but at the end of the day,

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Speaker 1: they are doing something that is it's a business to

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Speaker 1: make money, and you are part of that business making money.

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Speaker 1: And it's odd because yes, it's our lives and it's

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Speaker 1: artistic and there's all these other layers to it. At

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Speaker 1: the end of the day, it's a job and you're

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Speaker 1: hired essentially to do a job, even if that job

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Speaker 1: is to fall in love. So it's a very interesting dynamic.

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Speaker 1: And I always try to tell people, you got to

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Speaker 1: understand the Colton's and the Hannahs and all these people

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Speaker 1: of the world. Yeah, they signed up for this, but

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Speaker 1: don't give me the oh, they should know what they're

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Speaker 1: getting themselves into, because it's just you don't know until

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Speaker 1: you're in the middle of it. And it's different for

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Speaker 1: everybody totally.

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Speaker 2: I mean, that's that's the thing. And I think for

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Speaker 2: people to understand too, Like most of these leads right

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Speaker 2: now when they get tapped to lead that show are

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Speaker 2: in their twenties. I mean yeah, Like you know, I

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Speaker 2: especially was emotionally stunted because of sports, and I'm like, look,

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Speaker 2: I know you have a son who is in the

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Speaker 2: cross and committed to that sport very like, but I

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Speaker 2: know he also has a girlfriend. But like for me,

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Speaker 2: I just didn't. I avoided relationships and I avoided like

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Speaker 2: trying to figure out like my emotional growth. So by

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Speaker 2: the time I was a bachelor, yes, I was like

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Speaker 2: what twenty five twenty six when I did that show.

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Speaker 2: Emotionally though, I was still a teenager, I was still immature,

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Speaker 2: didn't really know what I was looking for. Probably shouldn't

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Speaker 2: have been in that position. But also is like, this

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Speaker 2: is an opportunity of a lifetime that for many different

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Speaker 2: reasons that I'm looking for.

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Speaker 1: But but yeah, I mean there's there's always layers to

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Speaker 1: a person being the Bachelor bacherette. And I mean you

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Speaker 1: and I have had long discussions about this, and I

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Speaker 1: thought long and hard about it. I mean, because it's

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Speaker 1: like being a child star. You were a sports star.

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Speaker 1: You went to the NFL the point one percent make

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Speaker 1: it to the NFL, but it also you kind of

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Speaker 1: stopped growing because you are so worried about growing to

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Speaker 1: be an athlete, and you got this this thing and

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Speaker 1: so this other party you kind of stops and the

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Speaker 1: rest kept going. And so you're a grown man, you're

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Speaker 1: playing in the NFL, and then all of a sudden

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Speaker 1: you're the Bachelor. It's like, but this other part of

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Speaker 1: you never had a chance to catch up, and that's

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Speaker 1: what kind of slingshot, and that's I think it took

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Speaker 1: the Bachelor. And again, I'm with you. I think at

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Speaker 1: the end of the day, I would say, don't regret that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: sure you can apologize and you wish it had gone

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Speaker 1: better for certain people, but at the end of the day,

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Speaker 1: it caused you to catch up and the scales got

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Speaker 1: to even out a little bit for you.

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Speaker 2: I would definitely agree with that. I think that's a

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Speaker 2: great way to put it. I never thought of it

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Speaker 2: like like that, but yeah, it was very much. I

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Speaker 2: prioritized a different career than I did, like my own

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Speaker 2: personal growth, and all of a sudden, I'm in this

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Speaker 2: intense year of filming Bachelorette, Bachelor and Paradise Bachelor and

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Speaker 2: doing all of this self work. And that's also like,

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Speaker 2: that's also why I somewhat am at peace with even

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Speaker 2: the women who were on my season, and I feel

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Speaker 2: like they also went through a lot of self work too,

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Speaker 2: and they got out what they wanted out of that

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Speaker 2: show too, you know. And you know, I do hear

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Speaker 2: that or see comments every once in a while, being

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Speaker 2: like you wasted so many women's time. I'm like, they

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Speaker 2: had a good time and went to travel the world

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Speaker 2: with me. Yeah, it's complicated.

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Speaker 1: And by the way, it's it only was going to

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Speaker 1: end up good for you mean, ninety nine percent of

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Speaker 1: the people that come on the show don't end up

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Speaker 1: with somebody. That's that's that's you know, I'm not a

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Speaker 1: big believer in all that. I mean, if you had

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Speaker 1: had that understanding and you came in to fool everybody

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Speaker 1: and you actually showed up to deceive us, all, that's

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Speaker 1: one thing. But having that realization later there's not much

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Speaker 1: difference than that, and say, Bob Guiney finding out later

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Speaker 1: you know what, I'm not ready for a relationship. You know,

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Speaker 1: did he waste everybody's time technically, but he didn't do

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Speaker 1: it to deceive anybody. You weren't being malicious, you know,

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Speaker 1: that wasn't in your heart at the time.

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Speaker 2: No, there was lots of christs or help. That's sort

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Speaker 2: of what I'm realizing is like my sub blanch is

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Speaker 2: basically being like, help help me come out, help me

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Speaker 2: get through this, Tell me what's right, tell me what's wrong?

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Speaker 2: What do we need to do?

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Speaker 1: Was there anything as you look back because a lot

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Speaker 1: of people have come on the podcast and they've said,

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Speaker 1: you know, I had a question for you. I've always

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Speaker 1: wondered this, and you and I have had a lot

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Speaker 1: of these conversations. But I'm just curious if there's still

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Speaker 1: anything that sticks out to you that you wonder about

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Speaker 1: with the show with me or anything that happened.

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Speaker 2: You know, most of them I've already asked you. I

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Speaker 2: you know I was. I was so paranoid though, like

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Speaker 2: just because and I've publicly said this before too, Like

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Speaker 2: you know, I did have a like not a relationship,

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Speaker 2: but like a physical relationship with a man before, like

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Speaker 2: I went on too that show. So I was always

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Speaker 2: so paranoid. But the majority, and this is the sad part,

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Speaker 2: and also what I want people to realize, is like

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Speaker 2: that easily could have been me. Most of those men

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Speaker 2: who I had had it some sort of physical connection

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Speaker 2: with were married with families and like in a similar

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Speaker 2: position that I was like in and my process behind

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Speaker 2: and that was, if they're going to help me, they

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Speaker 2: have to have just as much, if not more, to

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Speaker 2: lose than what I have. So my I was always

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Speaker 2: sort of operating with so much anxiety while we were

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Speaker 2: filming that show, and while that show was airing, and

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Speaker 2: while I was doing press that there would be like

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Speaker 2: that one person who like emails a producer and the like,

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Speaker 2: I know he hooked up with my friend, you know

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Speaker 2: here in this state. And so that was always something

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Speaker 2: that I was a little nervous about. And some things

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Speaker 2: like necessary questions. It's more so too, like the way

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Speaker 2: that my virginity was handled, like of course, like I

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Speaker 2: would have loved to give a straight answer of why

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Speaker 2: I was a virgin. I hid beyond my faith, I

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Speaker 2: hid behind football, I hid behind I mean you know

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Speaker 2: this because you had to ask me ten million times

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Speaker 2: on the show, and I would give you a different

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Speaker 2: answer every time you asked me. And they're like everybody's

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Speaker 2: like I remember, like there's people who even publicly were like,

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Speaker 2: why is he a virgin again? And I'm like, because

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Speaker 2: I couldn't say I'm questioning my sexuality to Chris, so

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Speaker 2: I had to say all of these other things. Now

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Speaker 2: that I've been in this industry for a little bit,

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Speaker 2: you that's a machine of a franchise and you have

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Speaker 2: to do some savage things to get to that level.

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Speaker 2: And now I have full a better understanding of what

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Speaker 2: they do and how they operate and who they are.

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Speaker 2: And I've also had the privilege and opportunity to work

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Speaker 2: with other production companies since that and know that that's

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Speaker 2: not the norm. I think that was the cool thing

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Speaker 2: about getting out love it, appreciate it for what it

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Speaker 2: did and taught me, but also realize it's just not

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Speaker 2: for me. Like that. The way that they roll is

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Speaker 2: is not how I want to roll and not how

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Speaker 2: I want to do business. And I feel like you

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Speaker 2: can still entertain people and put on a good show

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Speaker 2: and take care of those people too.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and you can, and that's that's happening, and that's

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Speaker 1: what's happening more and more, and so it's you know,

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Speaker 1: I had to take people aside when they came on

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Speaker 1: the show and tell them when they were new, look,

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Speaker 1: I know you've been in the business for a while.

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Speaker 1: We do television unlike anybody's ever done television, and some

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Speaker 1: of it's just a victim of our success. Like a

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Speaker 1: lot of these people grew up. They were eighteen, nineteen,

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Speaker 1: twenty years old. They started working on the show because

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Speaker 1: it was a nothing show, and then they stayed on

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Speaker 1: the show for twenty years. And so they never really

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Speaker 1: learned anywhere else to bring kind of the technical TV

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Speaker 1: skills in. So they just created this system. And so

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Speaker 1: we did things a lot of times in a very

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Speaker 1: backwards way, but it's the way we did it. And so,

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Speaker 1: you know, and I went off and did Millionaire, you know,

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Speaker 1: spelling Bee, and I did a million other shows, and so,

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Speaker 1: I mean, I had a lot of experience, and so

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Speaker 1: I always just I knew when it came back to

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Speaker 1: the Bachelor, this is how we do television. It's just

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Speaker 1: it's very backwards in the way producers ran the show

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Speaker 1: and as opposed to a director, et cetera. It was

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Speaker 1: very interesting. And you're right, it doesn't have to be

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Speaker 1: that way, and it's not on a lot of places.

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Speaker 1: But I always said, they're just a victim of their

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Speaker 1: own success, and that's it's not a terrible and that's

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Speaker 1: not a terrible thing. They've been, you know, going for

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Speaker 1: twenty years now, So it is what it is. Things

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Speaker 1: I do know, do you keep up with the franchise

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Speaker 1: at all? Do you still watch? Do you know what's happening?

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Speaker 2: I don't I know what's happening because I'm on social

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Speaker 2: media and I see things like I saw obviously, you

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Speaker 2: know the success of Golden Bachelor. I also saw they

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Speaker 2: broke up immediately after, you know, like I definitely see it.

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Speaker 2: I don't tune in, I don't watch. I have, you know,

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Speaker 2: a texting relationship with a few of the producers over there.

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Speaker 2: And I'm at peace now with it, Like I don't,

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Speaker 2: I have zero ill will towards them. I'm actually appreciative

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Speaker 2: of like what I've gone through and what they've been through.

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Speaker 2: I think hopefully they've learned a few things. I know

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Speaker 2: a few people have been in and out of out

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Speaker 2: of working for them now, so I keep up a

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Speaker 2: little bit, but I want to go back because one

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Speaker 2: thing that always stood out to me that you told

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Speaker 2: me on the day that we shot our promo photos

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Speaker 2: for the season. You said, Hey, I'm Chris. I just

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Speaker 2: want to like introduce myself in like you leaned in

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Speaker 2: your like pick your battles wisely. It's like choose, choose

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Speaker 2: your battles wisely. And I was like, okay, So that

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Speaker 2: was sort of my mind to do this whole thing.

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Speaker 2: Is like anytime I wanted to get upset or being

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Speaker 2: like fight and resist it, I had to remind myself, Okay,

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Speaker 2: is this worth it? And there were very few moments

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Speaker 2: where I was like, okay, this is worth it. And

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Speaker 2: then I think you saw the you know, the mountain

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Speaker 2: explode and Portugal, when I finally jumped the fence, I

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Speaker 2: was like, okay, I cannot do this. But yeah, you

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Speaker 2: always you always, Yeah, you always gave good advice.

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Speaker 1: Yeah I know I did mean that because I saw

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Speaker 1: bachelors and bacherettes that would fight for everything. And you know,

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Speaker 1: it's one of those old sayings. If you stand for everything,

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Speaker 1: you stand for nothing, and you know you can't win

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Speaker 1: and fight every battle every day because they're shooting a show.

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Speaker 1: And I told you this, and I told I told

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Speaker 1: every bachelor and bacherette. I said, look, you have to

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Speaker 1: give a little. There's things we have to do to

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Speaker 1: shoot a television show. But if it's something that means

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Speaker 1: enough to you, then hold your ground and dig in.

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Speaker 1: And that's the hill you got to be willing to

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Speaker 1: die on. And Portugal was the hill you were willing

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Speaker 1: to die on. I was willing to die on it

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Speaker 1: for sure, Yes you did. Instead you just cleared it

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Speaker 1: and off off into the wilderness. Well, hey, I know

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Speaker 1: you're in New York and as Jordan with you, you

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Speaker 1: guys head in to a show.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we're going to a Broadway show tonight and then

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Speaker 2: doing dinner, and we're really just like taking this moment

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Speaker 2: for ourselves, like we uh, we came out. We were

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Speaker 2: both in DC for some work. I'm still doing some

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Speaker 2: lobbying for mental health bill that I that I'm working on.

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Speaker 2: And Jordan obviously is gearing up. He does a lot

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Speaker 2: of social impact around politics and there's a lot going

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Speaker 2: on in our country and now unfortunately, so we're working

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Speaker 2: to just continue to continue to try to serve as

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Speaker 2: bridges to many different people's cultures, communities, and but right

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Speaker 2: now we're sort of just wrapping each other with love

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Speaker 2: and joining where we're at.

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Speaker 1: Well, you know, it's easy for it would have been

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Speaker 1: easy for you guys after you got married, to just

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Speaker 1: disappear and never be heard from again. But to use

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Speaker 1: what you have for good and to be a bridge

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Speaker 1: for for hope, for good, for love and all that is.

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Speaker 1: It's a good thing. It's a wonderful thing, and not

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Speaker 1: everyone will see it like that. But that's not your job.

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Speaker 1: Your jobs not to try and convince everybody. But I

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Speaker 1: appreciate what you guys do, and I always appreciate your

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Speaker 1: time and more importantly, always appreciate your friendship.

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Speaker 2: Well, thank you. I appreciate you and Lauren both, and

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Speaker 2: I know Jordan wanted me to tell you hello and

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Speaker 2: her hello as well. So yeah, I can't wait for

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Speaker 2: our next hang, whether we're in Austin or you're you're.

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Speaker 1: Out in la likewise, and I can't wait for that

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Speaker 1: first family meal when we're there and you guys have

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Speaker 1: a baby and y'all are just getting spit up on

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Speaker 1: and foods everywhere, and Laura and I just get to

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Speaker 1: sit there and have our glass of wine and just

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Speaker 1: get to relish.

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Speaker 2: Sure this, buddy, Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the best of things. It's the worst of things.

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Speaker 1: Get some sleep because October will come quickly. Love you

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Speaker 1: guys all the best, and I will talk to you soon, all.

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Speaker 2: Right, Thank you, appreciate you, Thanks for listening.

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Speaker 1: Follow us on Instagram at the most dramatic pod ever

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Speaker 1: and make sure to write us a review and leave

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Speaker 1: us five stars. I'll talk to you at time.