1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,600 Speaker 1: My husband drained my bank account because he didn't approve 2 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:07,080 Speaker 1: of what I was spending my money on. This is 3 00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:10,520 Speaker 1: okop where we tell the funniest stories on the Internet. 4 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:15,600 Speaker 1: I'm Sam and Riley is there if I if I, 5 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,960 Speaker 1: if I was spending money on something, at what point 6 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:20,439 Speaker 1: where did you say, hey, stop doing that? Like what 7 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:22,799 Speaker 1: would it have to be spent on for you to 8 00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:24,480 Speaker 1: do a schedule an intervention? 9 00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:26,720 Speaker 2: If you're putting a lot of money into hot wheels, 10 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:29,000 Speaker 2: I'd be like, Okay, are they vintage or is this 11 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:31,920 Speaker 2: just for fun? Because like wheels are sick, though they 12 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:34,720 Speaker 2: are sick, but to a point, like if I'm walking around, we. 13 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:37,600 Speaker 1: Have like one hundred foot of hot wheels track somewhere 14 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,200 Speaker 1: in this apartment we just moved house. 15 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:42,519 Speaker 2: Huh Okay maybe, But like if I'm walking around and 16 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:45,400 Speaker 2: like everywhere in your low key becoming a hoarder, I'd 17 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:46,320 Speaker 2: be like, hey, buddy. 18 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:50,080 Speaker 1: Look but we could put them down the stairs. Then 19 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:52,080 Speaker 1: then becomes danger. 20 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:54,320 Speaker 2: But if it becomes dangerous because like you have wheels 21 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:56,360 Speaker 2: everywhere and you can't trust your next foot. 22 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:59,680 Speaker 1: Step, I don't know. Agree to disagree anyway, let's get 23 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:02,560 Speaker 1: in to this story. So my husband thirty seven and 24 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:05,520 Speaker 1: I thirty five, have been together for just over eleven years. 25 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:08,959 Speaker 1: We have three beautiful children, and before we were engaged, 26 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:12,919 Speaker 1: we talked about having a baby's I said, I always 27 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:15,400 Speaker 1: wanted to be a mom, but I will be getting 28 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:19,680 Speaker 1: the mommy makeover package after I'm done. This is a 29 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:22,880 Speaker 1: tummy tuck and a possible breast left. I was very 30 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:25,160 Speaker 1: clear that I would want us to start saving as 31 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:28,000 Speaker 1: soon as I was pregnant with the first baby, saving 32 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 1: for the tummy tuck and the breast the boob job. 33 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:31,640 Speaker 3: Did your mom get a tummy tuck? 34 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:33,280 Speaker 1: I don't know. 35 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:34,880 Speaker 3: My mom did really. 36 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:38,200 Speaker 2: Because like all four of us boys, it was like 37 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:41,200 Speaker 2: eight point five pounds, about a ten pound baby, Tim 38 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:42,440 Speaker 2: pound baby, Tim pound. 39 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:44,800 Speaker 3: Baby and fick babies. 40 00:01:44,959 --> 00:01:47,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, like her. The doctors were like, there's no way 41 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 2: you could. They were shredded. So she got them put 42 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:50,720 Speaker 2: back together. 43 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:53,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, is horrible. She had like two c sections. 44 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:58,360 Speaker 1: Oh my god. Yeah, it's pretty common. Put your like, uh, 45 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:00,960 Speaker 1: let me know if you guys, if anyone who has 46 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:02,840 Speaker 1: been pregnant in the comments, let me know if you've 47 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:05,800 Speaker 1: got a tummy tuck afterwards and give me a guess 48 00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:08,560 Speaker 1: of what your percentage of people who get tummy tucks 49 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:12,280 Speaker 1: after pregnancy is I'm curious, I don't know me. Let 50 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:14,280 Speaker 1: me call my mom. I actually, I'll ask her because. 51 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:14,960 Speaker 3: She had you and Sophia. 52 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:15,480 Speaker 1: Yeah. 53 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:17,200 Speaker 3: How many pounds were you? 54 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:23,760 Speaker 1: I don't know? We ask mom? How many pounds was 55 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,960 Speaker 1: I when I was a baby? You were six pounds? 56 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:30,200 Speaker 1: Like fifteen ounces is like a ten pound baby? Big? 57 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:31,440 Speaker 3: Yes, very big? 58 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:36,720 Speaker 1: Y Riley was my brothers were and his brothers were 59 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:41,680 Speaker 1: ten pounds. Did he get a tummy tuck after? You know? 60 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:46,720 Speaker 1: Is that? Do you think that's happens a lot after? Like? 61 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,800 Speaker 1: Do you do you have any friends that have had well? Yeah, yeah, 62 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:51,480 Speaker 1: I mean how big does a baby have to be 63 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:52,440 Speaker 1: to have a tummy tuck? 64 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:56,880 Speaker 2: No, tommy tuck is how much weight you gain and 65 00:02:56,919 --> 00:02:59,320 Speaker 2: how much weight you don't lose and stuff like that. 66 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,360 Speaker 1: Anyone who's gotten a tummy tuck after pregnancy? 67 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:03,480 Speaker 3: I think so. 68 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:06,400 Speaker 1: But I kind of can't talk to you right now. 69 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:10,600 Speaker 1: I'm thanking dinner, Okay. I just listened to four hours 70 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:16,120 Speaker 1: of you on your Finding Founders four hours jeez, yeah, 71 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:20,600 Speaker 1: while I was listening making dinner. Oh well, I appreciate 72 00:03:20,639 --> 00:03:24,960 Speaker 1: you being I love you Okay, so my mom did 73 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,239 Speaker 1: not get a tummy tuck and I was six pounds. 74 00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:30,280 Speaker 1: Ten pounds is crazy. Yeah, your brother were double the 75 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:30,720 Speaker 1: size of me. 76 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:33,560 Speaker 3: Basically, yeah, that's insane. 77 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:38,160 Speaker 1: So first pregnancy hits ed, it hits hard, and true 78 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:40,880 Speaker 1: to our promise, we start saving. After my first child 79 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:44,920 Speaker 1: was born, we found out my abdominal muscles had separated 80 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,640 Speaker 1: and needed to be repaired surgically. Does that happen all 81 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:52,080 Speaker 1: the time? Having a my mom, this is essentially a 82 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:57,760 Speaker 1: tummy tuck. Do pregnancy sounds hard? Its giving birth to 83 00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:01,840 Speaker 1: my first I've experienced horrible back pain and the back 84 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:05,560 Speaker 1: spasms due to the separation. But we wait and had 85 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:08,960 Speaker 1: two more babies. So she's just dealing with the back spasms. 86 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:13,080 Speaker 1: She's like, Oh, I'm not gonna put my abs back together. 87 00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:16,520 Speaker 1: Are they just like floating on either side of your body? 88 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:20,800 Speaker 1: Where are they if they're separated? Like, is it just 89 00:04:20,839 --> 00:04:24,159 Speaker 1: like a They're just like not, They're just like, so 90 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:26,160 Speaker 1: do you still have abs? But they're kind of like 91 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:27,400 Speaker 1: like a good banana peel. 92 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:30,120 Speaker 3: It's just hard to like build core muscle when they're separated. 93 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:31,960 Speaker 1: I don't think I would want to be pregnant. I 94 00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:33,320 Speaker 1: think thinks that sounds pretty hard. 95 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, sounds tough. But shout out to the people that 96 00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:37,400 Speaker 3: got pregnant for us. 97 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:40,479 Speaker 1: Yeah, shout out to my mom. You're a real one. 98 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:42,920 Speaker 1: I don't know why I said, like she's dead, she's here, 99 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:47,880 Speaker 1: She's a live. My youngest is now almost one year old. 100 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:50,560 Speaker 1: So I brought up the surgery to my husband. He 101 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:54,880 Speaker 1: asked me if I was sure I wanted the surgery. Well, yes, 102 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:57,400 Speaker 1: I am very sure. He asked me why I want it, 103 00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:00,800 Speaker 1: which I found insane since I have I've been talking 104 00:05:00,839 --> 00:05:05,200 Speaker 1: about it for eight years straight. I told him, One, 105 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:08,480 Speaker 1: I look pregnant all the time do the separation, and 106 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:11,240 Speaker 1: I hate it. It makes me feel awful and sad. 107 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:15,440 Speaker 1: And two the pain was getting unbearable even with therapy, 108 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:18,800 Speaker 1: which is like, both reasons are valid, but the fact 109 00:05:18,839 --> 00:05:22,320 Speaker 1: that she's in pain is like like like no, like no, 110 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:24,760 Speaker 1: you should see that I should be fixed, like this 111 00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:27,560 Speaker 1: is like, this is an operation that will improve your 112 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:31,799 Speaker 1: quality of life. He tells me, I'm being very vain 113 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:34,479 Speaker 1: that he doesn't think I should have it. He completely 114 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:37,360 Speaker 1: ignored the pain part. If you're in pain, it's not vain, 115 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:41,239 Speaker 1: that's a rhyme. So it's true. I start to get 116 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:45,600 Speaker 1: confused and asked to see the account where it's being saved. 117 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:49,760 Speaker 1: Smart op op Opie smelled something that was wrong in 118 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:52,200 Speaker 1: the forest. He's like, that's a stinky sock and I'm 119 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:55,159 Speaker 1: gonna go and take a whiff. Like Riley dead earlier 120 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,640 Speaker 1: today he was like, are these are these shoes cleaning up? 121 00:05:57,680 --> 00:06:01,440 Speaker 1: And he just full on always dives into those shoes 122 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,719 Speaker 1: And how do they smell now? 123 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:04,120 Speaker 3: Warm? 124 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:05,760 Speaker 1: He wore them? Do they smell good? 125 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:07,039 Speaker 3: They were good? They were good good. 126 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:08,960 Speaker 1: What would you do if they didn't smell well? 127 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,239 Speaker 3: I would go find another pair. 128 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:12,800 Speaker 1: Actually, yeah, I don't believe you. I think you would warm. 129 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:16,960 Speaker 2: Oh not to that, you wouldn't know stinky feat Riley, 130 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:19,960 Speaker 2: that's not my name, Smiley. 131 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:23,960 Speaker 1: I start to get confused and asks where to you know, 132 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,320 Speaker 1: see the account and where it's being saved. To clarify, 133 00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:28,120 Speaker 1: we were both on this account, but it was never 134 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:31,520 Speaker 1: linked to my online banking. I saw the balance last 135 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:34,320 Speaker 1: month at fifteen thousand dollars, so she was she was 136 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:37,360 Speaker 1: check it. He became silent and left the house. I 137 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:40,640 Speaker 1: was very confused, so I called up the bank and 138 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:45,320 Speaker 1: they told me the account had under one thousand dollars left. 139 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:50,760 Speaker 1: Oh where is the money going? Something that we always 140 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:54,440 Speaker 1: ask is if there's some like financial cheating, maybe there's 141 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:57,640 Speaker 1: some physical cheating, you know, like if you're if you're 142 00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:00,280 Speaker 1: hiding something like this, maybe there's something. Maybe there's a 143 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:01,799 Speaker 1: needed a mistress. 144 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:05,440 Speaker 2: So the average tummy tuck costs anywhere from four to 145 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:06,040 Speaker 2: fifteen k. 146 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:09,159 Speaker 1: That's expensive. Yeah, it's expensive. So she wants like a 147 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:09,760 Speaker 1: real good one. 148 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:10,280 Speaker 3: Yeah. 149 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:14,840 Speaker 1: Yeah. I burst into hysterical tears and called my husband. 150 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:18,680 Speaker 1: He answered and didn't say anything. I unload on him 151 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:21,720 Speaker 1: about being betrayed by the person I trust the most 152 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 1: in the world, and ask where the hell the money went. 153 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:27,480 Speaker 1: He said he was under a lot of stress with 154 00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:30,800 Speaker 1: the kids, which is weird because I am a stay 155 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:33,560 Speaker 1: at home mom and do everything. So he wanted to 156 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:37,240 Speaker 1: treat himself and bought a computer for his office, a 157 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:41,360 Speaker 1: fifteen thousand dollars computer. Are you buying like a supercomputer? 158 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:42,720 Speaker 3: What are you doing with this computer? 159 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:44,680 Speaker 1: Man, he's got to get all the you know, the 160 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:46,680 Speaker 1: bells and whistle. He's got to get the gaming chair. 161 00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:48,600 Speaker 1: Gaming chairs are like a couple grand right there. 162 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:49,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's true. 163 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:53,040 Speaker 1: He's got to get that like super maxed out gaming PC. 164 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,120 Speaker 1: That's like another seven k. Actually it adds up. He's 165 00:07:56,120 --> 00:08:00,480 Speaker 1: got to get the monitor huge TV another two K. Yeah. 166 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:02,119 Speaker 2: I feel like he just watched one of his favorite 167 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:03,880 Speaker 2: streamers and they had like an affiliate link. 168 00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:06,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, just like just like going all the things. 169 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,240 Speaker 1: At all the cart. I told him not to come home, 170 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:12,440 Speaker 1: and he hasn't yet. The thing is, he's an excellent 171 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:14,800 Speaker 1: daddy and husband and this is all very out of 172 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:17,040 Speaker 1: the blue. It has made me so upset that I 173 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:21,400 Speaker 1: texted him I wanted a divorce since I seem not 174 00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:24,520 Speaker 1: to matter. He texted me back saying, no divorce, but 175 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:28,520 Speaker 1: it was his money anyway. This has damaged us to 176 00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:31,000 Speaker 1: a level I never thought we could get to. My 177 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:33,120 Speaker 1: mother in law called me and told me to kick 178 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:37,160 Speaker 1: him out, which you would. Damn the mother, the mother 179 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:40,720 Speaker 1: of mom, his own mom. You know you fucked up 180 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:43,600 Speaker 1: when your own mom is just like fucking ditch, that 181 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:48,320 Speaker 1: old bag of bones, that that total nin who just 182 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:51,360 Speaker 1: the bar mark of a human. 183 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,079 Speaker 3: Good mom, Yeah, good mob. 184 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess disown your son. I mean he did 185 00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:57,760 Speaker 1: do a bad thing. 186 00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:59,520 Speaker 3: He did a bad thing. The mom's like consequences. 187 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:04,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, cosequences. But my own family, especially mother, is saying 188 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:07,800 Speaker 1: she's very disappointed in me and thinks I am vain 189 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:11,040 Speaker 1: and shallow. What is this freaky Friday situation where the 190 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:15,199 Speaker 1: moms are like supporting the opposite person. I just want 191 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:18,079 Speaker 1: to look normal and play with my babies with no pain. 192 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:22,840 Speaker 1: So am I the asshole? And there are a lot 193 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:26,319 Speaker 1: of edits and some juicy updates. We'll get to those 194 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:28,360 Speaker 1: in a second, but I want to know in the 195 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,839 Speaker 1: comments right now, as of this moment, all right, we 196 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:32,840 Speaker 1: don't have any more info, but as of this moment, 197 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:36,640 Speaker 1: is ope the asshole? Riley? What do you think? 198 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:38,440 Speaker 3: No way? No way? 199 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:41,400 Speaker 2: Like they've had a conversation about this beforehand. It's not 200 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:43,800 Speaker 2: something out of the blue shoe once next week. She 201 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:45,439 Speaker 2: was planning for it, She was looking forward. 202 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:47,640 Speaker 1: To She talked different years before the pregnancy. 203 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:50,960 Speaker 3: She has like years three kids, like you deserve that, 204 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,079 Speaker 3: you know, like you get to have a tony talk 205 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:53,600 Speaker 3: and like. 206 00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:56,640 Speaker 1: All right, if even if it was completely vain and 207 00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,640 Speaker 1: she's like, hey, I like I look, I don't like 208 00:09:58,679 --> 00:10:01,520 Speaker 1: how I look. I feel self conscious, And she's been 209 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:04,360 Speaker 1: asking about this for years, even if it was solely 210 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:08,040 Speaker 1: that she had no pain like that is I think 211 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:12,439 Speaker 1: a fully reasonable request and something that she would be 212 00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:16,640 Speaker 1: entitled to. The fact that there is pain involved makes 213 00:10:16,679 --> 00:10:19,640 Speaker 1: it ridiculous that the husband is like, oh no, that's vain, 214 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:22,240 Speaker 1: like I want you to be in pain and she. 215 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:25,400 Speaker 2: Already went through another like try to figure out another 216 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:28,360 Speaker 2: solution with a therapy that didn't work, you know, like 217 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:29,800 Speaker 2: she wasn't like, oh, this is the only solution. 218 00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:34,920 Speaker 1: Yeah. I think it's uh. I think it's ridiculous, and 219 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:38,199 Speaker 1: I think it's like, what kind of husband do you 220 00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:40,880 Speaker 1: have to be to not care that much? You know, 221 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:44,719 Speaker 1: because he if she's in pain, real pain, like he's 222 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:46,200 Speaker 1: showing that he doesn't care. 223 00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:50,680 Speaker 3: Fix wife and wifey, no more pain, video games. 224 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:54,320 Speaker 1: Video games, video games every time? Thank you, just increase 225 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:59,000 Speaker 1: your health bar get some stamina. Why can you do that? Wife? Yeah? 226 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:03,000 Speaker 1: Oh man, okay, So here's some edits. He said he 227 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,160 Speaker 1: thought I didn't want it any more since I haven't 228 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:07,920 Speaker 1: talked about it in a few months, and he thought 229 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,319 Speaker 1: I'd never realize. And he has seen me start with 230 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:14,120 Speaker 1: pain for years and has taken me to every therapy appointment. Also, 231 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:17,720 Speaker 1: the money was transferred to his sole account. I have 232 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:20,720 Speaker 1: one two for fun money. We transfer the equal amounts 233 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:23,400 Speaker 1: to each of us when we can. I cannot see 234 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:27,360 Speaker 1: the transactions after the transfer, So he just transferred all 235 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:30,040 Speaker 1: that money to his account and is just spending it 236 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:31,079 Speaker 1: however he wants. 237 00:11:31,559 --> 00:11:32,400 Speaker 3: Interesting. 238 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:35,679 Speaker 1: I feel like the fact that he's hiding it. I 239 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:37,920 Speaker 1: think we're about to like dig some stuff up. Yeah. 240 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:41,360 Speaker 1: I think I think we are digging into a grave 241 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:44,079 Speaker 1: that we know there are bones that are going to 242 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:49,080 Speaker 1: be discovered, but like until we see them, I'm I'm 243 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:52,080 Speaker 1: I'm just hoping that it's a misunderstanding, but I feel 244 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:52,920 Speaker 1: like there's some cheating in them. 245 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:55,160 Speaker 2: There's definitely some bones, but like what kind of bones, 246 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 2: like big bones, big bones? 247 00:11:56,720 --> 00:12:01,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, being not boned and the husband and is boning others. Damn, 248 00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:03,040 Speaker 1: man's a paleontologist. 249 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:04,800 Speaker 3: You made a joe. Tell him the joke you made. 250 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:12,200 Speaker 1: Oh, Riley showed me his underwear, was like check these out. Sure, 251 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,360 Speaker 1: Riley showed me his underwear and it was like a 252 00:12:16,559 --> 00:12:20,280 Speaker 1: bunch of like, uh, dinosaurs, And I'm like, oh, damn, 253 00:12:20,559 --> 00:12:23,920 Speaker 1: girl's gonna love that. Call them palaeontologists looking for Riley's bone. 254 00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:25,840 Speaker 1: And he's like, you keep up with that, right there? 255 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:27,440 Speaker 3: On the spot off the don't. 256 00:12:27,559 --> 00:12:30,320 Speaker 1: I was just trying try my best. It was great. Yeah, 257 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:34,719 Speaker 1: that's great anyway at it, he texted me. I am 258 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:37,120 Speaker 1: so sorry, honey. I lost my mind for no reason 259 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:39,800 Speaker 1: at all. When I married you, I said in sickness 260 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,600 Speaker 1: and in health, and I broke that promise. The money 261 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:44,920 Speaker 1: is sitting in my account still, and I will move 262 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:47,120 Speaker 1: it back tomorrow morning as soon as I can. We 263 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,560 Speaker 1: talked about the recovery time for the surgery and the 264 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,480 Speaker 1: time I needed to take off to watch the kids 265 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,560 Speaker 1: and run the house, and it made me panic a 266 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:55,920 Speaker 1: great deal, so I moved it, thinking you wouldn't mind 267 00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:58,559 Speaker 1: me spending it and we'll save up again. I did 268 00:12:58,559 --> 00:13:01,160 Speaker 1: it out of panic and restraint and did not expect 269 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:03,559 Speaker 1: you to find out so soon. I planned on returning 270 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,760 Speaker 1: it and telling you what I did and why. I 271 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:10,120 Speaker 1: understand if you want a divorce and to leave me behind. 272 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:12,920 Speaker 1: I'm staying with the handle. Tonight's sweet, are at rest, 273 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,120 Speaker 1: and I will fix it all tomorrow. I promise you 274 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:17,480 Speaker 1: will have the surgery you wanted. I am a stupid, 275 00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:22,319 Speaker 1: selfish man, and I hope you can forgive me. That 276 00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:23,760 Speaker 1: is a go. Did apology? 277 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:24,679 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's pretty good. 278 00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:25,760 Speaker 1: It's pretty goodd apology. 279 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:26,160 Speaker 3: Yeah. 280 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:27,000 Speaker 1: Is it true though? 281 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:28,559 Speaker 3: Is it true that ease? 282 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:31,240 Speaker 1: Is it true? Put? I see you in the comments. 283 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:34,960 Speaker 1: If you see something different than what this text conveys 284 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:36,840 Speaker 1: to you, be on. So, for the first time in 285 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:40,040 Speaker 1: my relationship with his man, I don't believe a fucking 286 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,680 Speaker 1: word he wrote. I don't think I believe it either. 287 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,199 Speaker 1: He always told me I had it easy not working. 288 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:48,199 Speaker 1: Now he's saying he can't handle a week in my shoes. 289 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:52,320 Speaker 1: I feel ice cold towards my husband, and it is 290 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:55,240 Speaker 1: a sick feeling. My dad and aunt, a police officer, 291 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:57,600 Speaker 1: are coming to stay the night. I will think long 292 00:13:57,679 --> 00:13:59,960 Speaker 1: and hard about this relationship and everything I read here. 293 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:04,160 Speaker 1: Thank you everyone. I think this concludes this post, but 294 00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:07,720 Speaker 1: it doesn't because there's an update. I want you guys 295 00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:10,320 Speaker 1: to put what you think she'll find in this update. 296 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:11,840 Speaker 1: But rightley, what are you thinking. 297 00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:15,880 Speaker 2: I think she's just gonna find some receipts to a 298 00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:17,040 Speaker 2: gaming computer. 299 00:14:17,679 --> 00:14:21,120 Speaker 1: You think so that's it, there's there, or maybe he's 300 00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:22,280 Speaker 1: playing games right now? 301 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:25,240 Speaker 3: Ooh, I think he might be sounds like it. 302 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:28,520 Speaker 1: Let's keep reading. So for the update. I got the 303 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:31,480 Speaker 1: money back the same day. It's sitting in my soul 304 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:34,440 Speaker 1: account ready to go out. Okay, so it stuck to 305 00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:37,040 Speaker 1: his word. Thank you to everyone who messaged me with 306 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:40,840 Speaker 1: information about the procedure. It was so thinking helpful. I 307 00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:44,720 Speaker 1: now know how to set a realistic timeline and a 308 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:49,560 Speaker 1: realistic understanding about recovery. Now. As I was reading and 309 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:52,520 Speaker 1: replying to comments, I was getting more and more engrossed 310 00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:54,960 Speaker 1: in my anger. When my dad arrived, I think he 311 00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:58,680 Speaker 1: saw I was turning absolutely rabbit. He took my phone, 312 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:01,040 Speaker 1: turned it off, and told me to a minute and breathe. 313 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:04,720 Speaker 1: I sat for hours thinking about what everyone said and 314 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:09,120 Speaker 1: finally realized how out of character this was and that 315 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:12,640 Speaker 1: something was deeply wrong. I finally went to sleep, and 316 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:16,200 Speaker 1: around three am I woke up and grabbed my phone 317 00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:20,200 Speaker 1: and told my husband to get his ass home in 318 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:22,680 Speaker 1: a good way, Like, baby, get that ass home. I 319 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:26,120 Speaker 1: gotta treating that ass to a good licking. I gonna 320 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:27,560 Speaker 1: eat that booty like it's ice cream. 321 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,280 Speaker 3: Human centipede, Yeah. 322 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:31,520 Speaker 1: Human sentiped lips. But have you seen that movie? 323 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:34,320 Speaker 3: I saw a clip on TikTok and it terrified me. 324 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:39,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, not, that concept is messed up. There's three too. 325 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:43,560 Speaker 1: Human centipede marathon I found the projector so oh no, 326 00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:51,880 Speaker 1: all right? So when he arrived, he walked in straight 327 00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:54,520 Speaker 1: for me and hugged me. We hugged for a good 328 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:57,920 Speaker 1: five minutes. After that, he apologized and we both cried 329 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:01,960 Speaker 1: when he finally gave his side of the story. I 330 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:05,360 Speaker 1: was dumbfounded. Are you guys dumbfounded about? What do you 331 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:07,680 Speaker 1: think is gonna happen? Because I don't know if anyone's 332 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:09,840 Speaker 1: dumb found it. I feel like we may have seen 333 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:13,680 Speaker 1: what is about to happen. He said he took the 334 00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:17,440 Speaker 1: money because one, he was afraid that I was going 335 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:21,400 Speaker 1: to get seriously injured and die during the surgery and 336 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:23,800 Speaker 1: be alone, which I mean, it is I a surgery, 337 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:27,120 Speaker 1: so it's always a little risky, but really I don't know. 338 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:30,080 Speaker 1: Two that I would be way out of his league 339 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:34,080 Speaker 1: afterwards and leave him. Okay, so he's insecure. And three 340 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:37,120 Speaker 1: that I'd see what a crappy husband and father he 341 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:39,960 Speaker 1: was when he had to run the household, and that 342 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:43,320 Speaker 1: our kids would love him less. All in all, he 343 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:45,120 Speaker 1: had a big mental breakdown. 344 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:45,560 Speaker 3: MM. 345 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:48,360 Speaker 1: So maybe he's just insecure. Maybe there's no affair. 346 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:50,160 Speaker 3: That's that's I mean, that's good. 347 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:53,360 Speaker 1: It's good, but like he's coming clean about it. 348 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:56,560 Speaker 2: But yeah, it's talk dark out like these are like 349 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,440 Speaker 2: some things he just needed to talk out with her. 350 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,800 Speaker 1: Do you think, like, like, if this happened in one 351 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:06,920 Speaker 1: of your relationships and and your partner was the insecure 352 00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:11,040 Speaker 1: one and did something of this magnitude, is this enough 353 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,040 Speaker 1: to be like I forgive you or would you still 354 00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:14,440 Speaker 1: be pursuing divorce? 355 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:15,760 Speaker 3: Yeah? 356 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,560 Speaker 2: I think that this would like I would probably have 357 00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:22,520 Speaker 2: this conversation first and then kind of check their character keep. 358 00:17:22,359 --> 00:17:25,400 Speaker 1: It ha been pretty good. Yeah, they've been pretty apologized, 359 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:26,080 Speaker 1: have been pretty good. 360 00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:27,879 Speaker 2: I definitely would keep an eye on it for a 361 00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:29,639 Speaker 2: little bit and then just kind of trust has to 362 00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:31,800 Speaker 2: be rebuilt for sure, So once to trust, to rebel, 363 00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:33,600 Speaker 2: but no, no calls for divorce. 364 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:36,280 Speaker 1: Really, these apologies work for you. Let me know, or 365 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:39,119 Speaker 1: are you divorced? Chanting all the way to the to 366 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:41,600 Speaker 1: the of the world, to the ends of the world, 367 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:45,040 Speaker 1: to what exists beyond the sea, lions, the edge of 368 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:49,080 Speaker 1: the earth. So I understood where he was coming from, 369 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:53,080 Speaker 1: but I was and still am royally pissed off. I 370 00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:55,879 Speaker 1: told him if he needed surgery for his back one day, 371 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:58,840 Speaker 1: which is very possible and was in a lot of pain. 372 00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:00,600 Speaker 1: How would he keep the well if I said he 373 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:03,960 Speaker 1: couldn't have it because of insert flimsy, selfish excuses that 374 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,199 Speaker 1: have nothing to do with him. He didn't have an 375 00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:09,120 Speaker 1: answer for that and just kept apologizing. I told him 376 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:12,520 Speaker 1: I would be contacting my old friends from work and 377 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:16,920 Speaker 1: looking for a job to make my own money, since 378 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:20,320 Speaker 1: what he earns is apparently his. He broke down in 379 00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:23,320 Speaker 1: tears again after that, but I was too angry again 380 00:18:23,359 --> 00:18:26,240 Speaker 1: to address it. I told him to log into banking 381 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:29,320 Speaker 1: right now or I would never trust him again. We 382 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:32,560 Speaker 1: logged in and he printed out the last year's worth 383 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:36,760 Speaker 1: of transactions. I recognized ninety percent of them. The rest 384 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:40,879 Speaker 1: was random Amazon and Walmart PlayStation so on purchases, and 385 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,560 Speaker 1: I told him to log into his credit history profile. 386 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,880 Speaker 1: He only has our joint accounts in his sole account, 387 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:50,200 Speaker 1: so my mind was put to ease, which I get. 388 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:55,159 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm kind of feeling maybe maybe he's not 389 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:58,639 Speaker 1: hiding anything. Yeah, maybe it's fine, But I'm also kind 390 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:01,600 Speaker 1: of feeling like there's a a decent There's like two 391 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:05,720 Speaker 1: more updates, so maybe there's there's still skeletons in the dirt. 392 00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:07,439 Speaker 3: So what's a ten percent he's buying. 393 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:12,320 Speaker 1: Yeah. M The next day I contacted my old firm 394 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,520 Speaker 1: and was surprised to find out my friend was the 395 00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:19,040 Speaker 1: senior manager of the department I trained him. We chatted 396 00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:20,320 Speaker 1: for a bit and he said I could get my 397 00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:22,480 Speaker 1: certifications up to date by the end of the year. 398 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:25,159 Speaker 1: He would have a role for me by early to 399 00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:28,120 Speaker 1: mid twenty twenty one. I used to be a forensic 400 00:19:28,119 --> 00:19:30,680 Speaker 1: accountant back in the day, and I love my job 401 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,520 Speaker 1: and I am very excited about this possibility where if 402 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:36,680 Speaker 1: she's a forensic accountant, that man will not be able 403 00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:39,560 Speaker 1: to hide anything. Like a forensic accountant is like literally 404 00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:43,520 Speaker 1: looking for fraud. Oh yeah, A forensic accountant is like, like, 405 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,159 Speaker 1: have you been misspending money on like like the company 406 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,560 Speaker 1: cards and stuff, or you like hiding money firm investor. 407 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:50,840 Speaker 1: I honestly don't know much about it, but like that's 408 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:51,199 Speaker 1: what I do. 409 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:52,760 Speaker 3: But like they're looking for mistakes. 410 00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:56,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, they're looking for like laundering and misuse of 411 00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:57,680 Speaker 1: company funds. 412 00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:02,399 Speaker 3: Buddy, Yeah ho, you didn't, yeah, forensic accountant. 413 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:06,159 Speaker 1: After I told my husband, he was very sad. He 414 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:09,000 Speaker 1: told me he wants to get a post nup where 415 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,600 Speaker 1: it says if we divorce, I would get more than 416 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:17,280 Speaker 1: fifty percent of all assets. Everything is in our joint names. 417 00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:19,560 Speaker 1: He said he couldn't ever make it up to me, 418 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,600 Speaker 1: but he hopes that he would give me the peace 419 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:24,720 Speaker 1: of mind to choose to go back to work or 420 00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:29,240 Speaker 1: continue staying at home. Oh so, he's like, he's basically saying, 421 00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:31,840 Speaker 1: I will sign a post up that will give you 422 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:34,480 Speaker 1: more than fifty percent of our assets if you don't 423 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,080 Speaker 1: get this job because he wants her to stay at 424 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:41,520 Speaker 1: home with the kids, gotcha, Which feels a little controlling. 425 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:45,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, right, it does. Yeah, it's interesting. I've never heard 426 00:20:45,359 --> 00:20:45,760 Speaker 3: that's the first. 427 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:48,879 Speaker 1: I always hear a prida and I heard a post post. 428 00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:53,760 Speaker 1: Sounds like post nut posts. Yeah, post up. I'll have 429 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:55,800 Speaker 1: to think about it. As a side note, my salary 430 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:58,400 Speaker 1: would be higher than his again, and I am currently 431 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:01,000 Speaker 1: taking great joy in telling him of all the things 432 00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:04,760 Speaker 1: I can do with my money. Petty, I know, lol, 433 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:07,080 Speaker 1: but I'm working on it. We have a lot of 434 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:09,840 Speaker 1: work to do for our marriage now, but I'm happy 435 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:14,960 Speaker 1: to report we aren't divorcing anytime soon. He is profoundly sorry, 436 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,840 Speaker 1: and I'm slowly accepting it. I do regress here and 437 00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:20,119 Speaker 1: there admittedly, and we're signed up for couple's therapy in 438 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:22,600 Speaker 1: a few weeks time. I can't picture my life without 439 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:24,960 Speaker 1: his stupid face in it, so I'm hoping for the best. 440 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:29,000 Speaker 1: Thank you, Reddit for all your love and support. Satisfying 441 00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:31,679 Speaker 1: edit forgot to mention that my mother showed up on 442 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:34,600 Speaker 1: the night we were fighting to apparently scold me, I guess, 443 00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:36,960 Speaker 1: but my dad opened the door and tore into her. 444 00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,920 Speaker 1: I did not know this, but my mother has had 445 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:42,520 Speaker 1: a few procedures done my aunt and dad told her 446 00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:45,560 Speaker 1: off good and she left screaming like a man. She 447 00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:48,159 Speaker 1: we haven't spoken since, and I think I'll be taking 448 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:53,720 Speaker 1: some space from her. And there is one final update. 449 00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:55,600 Speaker 3: How do you feel? How are you feeling about this? 450 00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:58,840 Speaker 1: I'm feeling good. I feel like I hope this final 451 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,120 Speaker 1: update is like everything is gone well. But as we've 452 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:04,080 Speaker 1: read in the past, sometimes it's going well all the 453 00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:07,200 Speaker 1: way up until the end, and then and then it explodes. 454 00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:10,320 Speaker 1: So update. I ended up getting that tummy tuck and 455 00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:13,240 Speaker 1: muscle repair for the recovery. My dad and my mother 456 00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:15,680 Speaker 1: in law were at my side almost twenty four to 457 00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:18,840 Speaker 1: seven for five entire weeks I slept on a recliner 458 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,280 Speaker 1: at the entire time, so we barely spend time together. 459 00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:24,320 Speaker 1: He really didn't do much for me or have any 460 00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:27,200 Speaker 1: sympathy for the pain I was in. Weeks after recovery, 461 00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:30,520 Speaker 1: I felt like a new person, in no pain weeks, 462 00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:31,960 Speaker 1: which is crazy. 463 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:33,600 Speaker 3: Because it's like serious. 464 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:35,679 Speaker 1: I kept thinking how my husband tried to take that 465 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:38,280 Speaker 1: away from me due to his own insecurities. I went 466 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:41,080 Speaker 1: to therapy at night and realized I needed to not 467 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:45,000 Speaker 1: rely on him for a while, and I heavily consider divorce. 468 00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:47,399 Speaker 1: I wanted to talk about my feelings and how I 469 00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:51,040 Speaker 1: felt so betrayed. Thirty seconds into the conversation, he told 470 00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:53,440 Speaker 1: me what's done is done. If you don't like it, 471 00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:57,080 Speaker 1: let's divorce because I can't go through this again again. Well, 472 00:22:57,240 --> 00:22:59,879 Speaker 1: what he's saying is like, hey, like, I made a mistake. 473 00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:03,160 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I've apologized to it, but I can't change 474 00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:05,399 Speaker 1: the past. If you still feel bad about it, I 475 00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:06,679 Speaker 1: understand if you want a divorce. 476 00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:10,760 Speaker 3: Interesting, I don't know what do you think I mean? 477 00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:13,040 Speaker 1: I think I understand that, Like, if you fuck up, 478 00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:17,720 Speaker 1: like you to be in the relationship, you have to 479 00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:21,920 Speaker 1: if you're gonna be in the relationship, you have to forgive. Yeah, yeah, right, 480 00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:24,040 Speaker 1: because you can't just keep holding it over the person's 481 00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:26,600 Speaker 1: because that's not healthy either. Yeah, and like, but she 482 00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:28,679 Speaker 1: has every right to say, like, if I can't move this, 483 00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:31,360 Speaker 1: like pass this, I I can leave. And he has 484 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:33,840 Speaker 1: every right to say, if you keep like holding this 485 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:36,480 Speaker 1: over me, you know, I understand if you want to divorce. 486 00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:39,639 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like but like one. 487 00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:42,560 Speaker 2: But maybe maybe i' just communicated it in the beginning 488 00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:44,399 Speaker 2: all the things he was feeling. And then another point too, 489 00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:46,280 Speaker 2: like he had the money, they're still he didn't like 490 00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:47,280 Speaker 2: spend it all. 491 00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:49,159 Speaker 3: She was able to get the tun me talk. So 492 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:52,400 Speaker 3: it's interesting that like this is still. 493 00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:54,399 Speaker 1: A thing, a thing, you know, the thing is like 494 00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:58,000 Speaker 1: the trust is broken, that's what's That's okay, But it 495 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:01,240 Speaker 1: does feel like he's done everything right. It's the wrong 496 00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:01,920 Speaker 1: thing that he did. 497 00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:03,720 Speaker 3: She's just not able to forgive him. 498 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:06,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, at least as of right now. I don't know, Like, 499 00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:09,480 Speaker 1: would you forgive someone that did this? Put your answers 500 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:11,240 Speaker 1: in the comments. I would love to know. And also 501 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:14,000 Speaker 1: what do you think about that concept of like, hey, 502 00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:17,320 Speaker 1: I've already apologized, I've shown that I'm sorry if this 503 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:20,600 Speaker 1: is being brought up constantly like maybe this won't just 504 00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:22,000 Speaker 1: won't work. What do you think of what he said? 505 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:25,080 Speaker 1: Do you think he was right in saying that? So 506 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:28,480 Speaker 1: I said, all right right? So he said what done 507 00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:30,520 Speaker 1: is done? If you don't like it, let's divorce because 508 00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:33,360 Speaker 1: I can't go through this again. And she said, all right, 509 00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:36,520 Speaker 1: So all right is in? Divorce is all right is in? 510 00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:41,479 Speaker 1: We'll stay together. I felt completely calm. I felt nothing. 511 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:47,560 Speaker 1: I was done. I hired a divorce lawyer within a week, 512 00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:51,200 Speaker 1: and we are officially separated. We kept things very, very civil. 513 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,640 Speaker 1: We signed on agreement to fifty fifty everything, no child 514 00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:57,440 Speaker 1: support and no spousal support. Nothing. We sold the house 515 00:24:57,480 --> 00:25:00,200 Speaker 1: and split the earnings. He purchased a smaller but very 516 00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:02,480 Speaker 1: nice house a few streets over. We work hard to 517 00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:05,399 Speaker 1: keep our kids happy, and I have talked strategies with 518 00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:08,600 Speaker 1: my therapist. On our last day sorting the house, he 519 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:10,840 Speaker 1: wished me luck with job hunting and said he was 520 00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:14,080 Speaker 1: surprised I didn't want more than fifty percent. He said, 521 00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:16,840 Speaker 1: I wouldn't have had a hard time finding another man 522 00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:20,239 Speaker 1: to take care of me. I barely recognized him, and 523 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:23,679 Speaker 1: it was scary. The thing is I reached out to 524 00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:26,399 Speaker 1: my good friend and got my job back in my 525 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:29,760 Speaker 1: old field, forensic accounting, and it has some new twists 526 00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:32,400 Speaker 1: and responsibilities that I actually ended up loving and being 527 00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:35,040 Speaker 1: very good at. I actually can't be too specific due 528 00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:39,440 Speaker 1: to my security clearance. Okop, this job is ridiculously grueling 529 00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:41,159 Speaker 1: and not a lot of people want to do it 530 00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:43,639 Speaker 1: or have the insights, h stamina to do it. The 531 00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:47,560 Speaker 1: point is, my salary is about three times my husband, 532 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,159 Speaker 1: and I in fact told him so on the spot, 533 00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:52,640 Speaker 1: So she's like, I don't need a man to take 534 00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:55,920 Speaker 1: care of me. I'm good, You're good, Yeah, I'm good. 535 00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:56,560 Speaker 3: Yeah. 536 00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:58,719 Speaker 1: I also told him I'm planning on buying the biggest, 537 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:02,000 Speaker 1: slash nicest house for sale in our neighborhood soon and 538 00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:04,280 Speaker 1: was thrilled. Is that a little like is that kind 539 00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:06,080 Speaker 1: of like rubbing it in his face a little bit? 540 00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:06,640 Speaker 3: Yeah? 541 00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:08,399 Speaker 1: I feel like, I mean, Op has admitted to this 542 00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:10,480 Speaker 1: that she's like been a little petty. That feels like 543 00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:14,320 Speaker 1: maybe a little too OVERQ because I feel like maybe 544 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:16,359 Speaker 1: I think what he said is well, let me know 545 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:17,520 Speaker 1: in the comments if you think what he said is 546 00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:20,040 Speaker 1: like a little misogynistic where he's like, you need like, 547 00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:23,600 Speaker 1: you'll find no problem having a man to you know, 548 00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:26,480 Speaker 1: take care of you or whatever. And she's like, no, 549 00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:28,120 Speaker 1: I can take care of myself, I mean three times 550 00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:32,760 Speaker 1: as much as you. But I feel like maybe his heart, 551 00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:35,679 Speaker 1: like his heart was in the right place, saying that's like, 552 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:36,520 Speaker 1: you'll find someone. 553 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:40,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, but I could definitely see, but like, we don't 554 00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:41,000 Speaker 2: know what the tone was. 555 00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:44,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true, that's true. This is what she said after. 556 00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:48,159 Speaker 1: So I also informed him that no, I wouldn't have 557 00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:50,560 Speaker 1: a hard time finding a better man. I guess he 558 00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:55,640 Speaker 1: forgot who he married, which feels that feels really she's 559 00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:58,320 Speaker 1: really laying in. Do you guys think this is mean? 560 00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:00,920 Speaker 1: Or does he deserve this? Put your answers in the comments. 561 00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:03,280 Speaker 1: I would love to know. I'm feeling with me. It's 562 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:04,879 Speaker 1: a little bit too me. Maybe it's well deserve though, 563 00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:08,600 Speaker 1: I don't know anyway, Thanks everyone, Edit, thanks so much 564 00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:10,440 Speaker 1: for the kind words and support. It means so much. 565 00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:12,639 Speaker 1: I can't even describe it. I'm seriously sitting on my 566 00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:19,320 Speaker 1: new expensive couch crying into my cashmere blanket. Sophie's really 567 00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:23,720 Speaker 1: rubbing it in, just sticking his nose in it. Yeah. 568 00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:26,159 Speaker 1: I think my final question is do you think Opie 569 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:29,040 Speaker 1: made the right decision in divorcing the husband? And do 570 00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:35,159 Speaker 1: you think ope was I guess okay and being this 571 00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:37,560 Speaker 1: petty to her husband as she described she said, it 572 00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:39,240 Speaker 1: was being a little petty. But do you think like 573 00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:42,040 Speaker 1: that is deserved? Do you think it's too mean? I 574 00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:44,040 Speaker 1: would love to know what you guys think in the comments, 575 00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:47,760 Speaker 1: and we're gonna get into another story right now, but 576 00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:50,280 Speaker 1: put that in the comments. I'd love to know, and 577 00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:51,440 Speaker 1: let's dive into it.