WEBVTT - How I Lost My Virginity

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Mila, and it's Wednesday. Happy hump Day, Happy hump

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<v Speaker 1>Day and happy What are we calling this month? Like

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<v Speaker 1>Sexy June.

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<v Speaker 2>We've been trying to figure this out for a month,

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<v Speaker 2>Like Hot mom Summer, Sexy June summertime Fine, which Erica

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<v Speaker 2>was not.

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<v Speaker 3>A fan of.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean it's growing on me. I guess it's nineties

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<v Speaker 1>and I love the nineties, so it just feels.

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<v Speaker 3>Bring the back whole hot Summer.

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<v Speaker 1>If you have joined us on our dick Challenge, our

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<v Speaker 1>Dick Talks Challenge, it's over. So I don't know if

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<v Speaker 1>you guys are back to fucking. I don't know if

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<v Speaker 1>you guys are back to making better choices. But our

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<v Speaker 1>main challenge, our May Dick Talk Challenge, is over. I

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<v Speaker 1>just want to thank everyone that joined me on the journey.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you so much. I love you. I loved our

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<v Speaker 1>weekly zoom calls. If you joined our slack, then you

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<v Speaker 1>know that we're contained. You mean, the conversation over there

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm just feeling real sexy and Jim and.

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<v Speaker 2>Just because May is over doesn't mean you have to

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<v Speaker 2>give up your dick took no. I feel like after

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<v Speaker 2>the first thirty days it gets easier. So it's like,

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<v Speaker 2>once you hit thirty day mark, are you even horny anymore?

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<v Speaker 3>You could just like go for a full year after that.

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<v Speaker 1>Mostly I think you're horny. You're just like more horny

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<v Speaker 1>for yourself, and it's just like you're just not really

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<v Speaker 1>inviting just any kind of residual energy and you got

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<v Speaker 1>to really be with the shits.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you're more intentional with the pussy by this time. Congratulations,

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<v Speaker 2>congratulations house.

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<v Speaker 1>Shall we pull a tero my love?

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, we shall. My shoveling still isn't better? Okay. The

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<v Speaker 3>card today.

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<v Speaker 2>Is the World, which is number this twenty one, Yes, okay,

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<v Speaker 2>it's twenty one the World, and it's a woman with

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<v Speaker 2>two sticks.

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<v Speaker 1>She looks bountiful, bountiful.

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<v Speaker 3>She just looks happy.

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<v Speaker 1>Well. According to the description of the World card, upright

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<v Speaker 1>represents completion, integration, accomplishment, and travel.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh huh, look at there. Hah hah.

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<v Speaker 1>Me and Mila just signed a very important contract today

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<v Speaker 1>which I don't know if we can share it with

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<v Speaker 1>you guys, but the moment we can, we will, and

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<v Speaker 1>I hope that you're excited as well. And it is

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<v Speaker 1>a huge accomplishment and we are about to go travel

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<v Speaker 1>to complete it. So this card feels very very on

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<v Speaker 1>time for us.

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<v Speaker 2>It says inner and outer wealth, inner and outer wealth. Wow,

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<v Speaker 2>that's a good ass card to pull because a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of people have outer wealth, and that don't always mean

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<v Speaker 2>you have any shoutdown, and Lord knows I need both

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<v Speaker 2>joy recognition, being in harmony with the universe because we

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<v Speaker 2>have manifested the fuck out of this finding balance, enlightenment,

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<v Speaker 2>achieving goals, union of body, mind and soul. You, the

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<v Speaker 2>world and the intangible are one. Become the creator of

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<v Speaker 2>your own world and master the daily life. Without you,

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<v Speaker 2>the universe would be missing something.

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<v Speaker 3>I think it means we're walking in our purpose.

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<v Speaker 2>Dear, I mean, duh, I think we found our calling

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<v Speaker 2>talking shit on the internet.

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<v Speaker 3>It's beautiful. Thank you God, Thank you God. I knew.

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<v Speaker 2>I told someone the other day. I was like, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>in my twenties, I did a bunch of shit. I

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<v Speaker 2>barely said no to shit just because it sounded fun

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<v Speaker 2>and I needed to accumulate experiences. And at that time

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't know why I had all these stories.

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<v Speaker 3>And God is like, here you go.

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<v Speaker 2>You're all the stupid shit you did in your twenties

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<v Speaker 2>that everyone was like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

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<v Speaker 2>This is why, because I knew the world needed to

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<v Speaker 2>hear my whole stories in my thirties. It's so important

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<v Speaker 2>that I share my crazy, wild experiences. And that's why

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<v Speaker 2>God let me have them, because he knew I needed

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<v Speaker 2>to live a little and I needed to share a lot.

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<v Speaker 1>Amen. Amen, speaking of our youth and host stories. Yesterday,

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<v Speaker 1>I had dinner with one of my best friends who's

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<v Speaker 1>visiting from Germany. Shout out to my boy Jared and

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<v Speaker 1>I don't really share this information a lot, but I

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<v Speaker 1>used to like be a singer, oh yeah, and apparently

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<v Speaker 1>a rapper because I went back into he opened up

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<v Speaker 1>our SoundCloud, which still exists, which maybe I'll share in

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<v Speaker 1>the episode description because actually I'm kind of proud. I

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<v Speaker 1>went back and listened. I was like, wait, we were

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<v Speaker 1>kind of good. We might be at Coachella this year.

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<v Speaker 1>Had we just continued, I swear to fucking got we

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<v Speaker 1>were ahead of our time. I'm telling you I was,

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<v Speaker 1>baby Calie, all right, can you stop? I'm not kidding.

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<v Speaker 3>I keep telling you we need to use one of

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<v Speaker 3>the tracks.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, well, maybe we'll use Maybe we'll use it so

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<v Speaker 1>we've been using before. You know what, maybe we'll outro

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<v Speaker 1>this episode with one of the songs. Because a bitch

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<v Speaker 1>was proud. Last night I was listening, and not only that,

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<v Speaker 1>was I ridiculously sex positive. Like I was talking about

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<v Speaker 1>like coming sucking dick, Like yeah, there's this one song

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<v Speaker 1>called focus, and it's like keep your mind in folks,

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<v Speaker 1>trying not to let go of this, take it all

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<v Speaker 1>the way down your throat, like hocus pops. Okay, whoa

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<v Speaker 1>that I wasn't a freak, but then I let him

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<v Speaker 1>taste my Okay, I don't even want So you.

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<v Speaker 3>Were a witch and you were stitch.

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<v Speaker 1>I was proudly so sex positive and like I didn't

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<v Speaker 1>know my life was gonna lead me here, but I

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<v Speaker 1>think I was practicing then. Then I was listening to

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<v Speaker 1>these rap skills. I was like, baby daddy, who nigga,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm the O g rapper bitch. No wonder he never

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<v Speaker 1>supported me because he knew I was bad at And

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<v Speaker 1>you know now now I'm telling you, I'm proud. I was,

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<v Speaker 1>like I told you, I was like, maybe we should

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<v Speaker 1>like remix these and like put them out. I think

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna move our Spotify playlist, which, by the way,

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<v Speaker 1>if you guys haven't checked out our playlist, you guys

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<v Speaker 1>should their bomb. I just put one out in May

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<v Speaker 1>called Mama's Flowers. But I'm thinking I might have to

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<v Speaker 1>take our playlist to SoundCloud because SoundCloud low key has

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<v Speaker 1>way better selection.

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<v Speaker 3>Of music DJ music like mixes that you want to hear.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and then I can just sprinkle in my shit.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm here for it.

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<v Speaker 2>When you guys drop the like, drop the remixes, just

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<v Speaker 2>give me a feed you and you know I fully

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<v Speaker 2>support your baby.

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<v Speaker 3>Calise rap dreams.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, I had songs about like only like

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<v Speaker 1>having sex with rich people.

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<v Speaker 2>I had. I had some deep shit I had like

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<v Speaker 2>I had some stuff of a manifestation planting seas Okay, yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Girl, I was on some ship. I don't know what happened,

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<v Speaker 1>but I know for sure I would be at Coachella

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<v Speaker 1>this year if I had just kept going. I'm not kidding.

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<v Speaker 1>I know.

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<v Speaker 3>You're just dead serious, do you.

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<v Speaker 2>Because you're so good at manifesting, can you lead us

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<v Speaker 2>into our affirmation for the day. Yes, because you're so

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<v Speaker 2>sex positive and you're so good at manifesting even before

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<v Speaker 2>you knew you were doing it.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh yep, yep, yep. So today's affirmation is I only

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<v Speaker 1>invite bomb ass sex into my life.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh can we get a hallelujah?

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<v Speaker 1>I only invite bomb ass sex into my life. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>especially after this dick talks. Okay, don't waste the pussy

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<v Speaker 1>on some on some not bombs at.

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<v Speaker 3>Don't have time for it. Actually, someone asked me last night.

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<v Speaker 2>I asked me last night, how often do you give

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<v Speaker 2>up the pussy and then it's disappointing?

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<v Speaker 3>And I said, honestly, I'm gonna have to go.

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<v Speaker 2>With an eighty to ninety percent rate. I could have

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<v Speaker 2>wiped out ninety percent of motherfuck as I fucked. Luckily

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<v Speaker 2>for you, there's stories for them, but ninety percent of

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<v Speaker 2>the thing is I fucked were not satisfying. I can't

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<v Speaker 2>even remember, like I could probably remember five good fucks.

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<v Speaker 3>What about you like me?

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<v Speaker 1>You know what? Someone asked me that. So I was

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<v Speaker 1>on a date recently and I asked him, I said,

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<v Speaker 1>what are your like worst sex stories? And he shared

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<v Speaker 1>some that were very like scary and like some girl

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<v Speaker 1>like took out a fork and knife and said she

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<v Speaker 1>wanted to eat his dick. That was crazy? What yeah? Now,

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<v Speaker 1>Like I was like, can I see your dick? Like

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<v Speaker 1>what's going on with your dick?

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<v Speaker 2>Too?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know, but now I haven't.

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<v Speaker 3>I didn't ask what happened next.

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<v Speaker 1>He said he left, but like I have questions now.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like I kind of wanted to be like can

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<v Speaker 1>I see your dick? Like what's going on with the dick?

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<v Speaker 4>Like?

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<v Speaker 1>Why does she want to eat it? Maybe it's beautiful,

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<v Speaker 1>That's what I mean. That's what he was alluding to.

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<v Speaker 1>But anyway, he asked me what my bad sex story

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<v Speaker 1>was were, And of course I've had like not great sex,

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<v Speaker 1>but I don't know, like I haven't had like a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of bad sex. I don't think. I don't think.

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<v Speaker 1>I think because I've just been manifesting good sex in

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<v Speaker 1>my life from such a young age, I don't know if.

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<v Speaker 3>It's necessarily been bad sex. I bring the sex just.

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<v Speaker 1>Like That's what I'm saying, Like I feel like I

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<v Speaker 1>can get myself there. You I don't know, like, of

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<v Speaker 1>course I've had bad experiences like you know, people sweating

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<v Speaker 1>all over my face or like you know, like asking

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<v Speaker 1>me to like talk a lot when I don't want

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<v Speaker 1>to talk and like, you know, just like you know,

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<v Speaker 1>sizing not being you know, compatible to me and all

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<v Speaker 1>those things. But I just feel like I haven't had

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<v Speaker 1>terrible sex my I don't know, it's been okay.

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<v Speaker 2>I honestly, I'll be completely one hundred, like ninety eight

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<v Speaker 2>percent of my sex is like foggy, I was drunk.

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<v Speaker 3>I was blacked out. A lot of those times not great.

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<v Speaker 1>And you know what, you know what, Also there's that

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<v Speaker 1>because I have a terrible memory, which is a whole

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<v Speaker 1>other topic which terrifies me and scares me that I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not gonna remember half my life. Thank god we're podcasting

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<v Speaker 1>because I'll I can like go back and listen to

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<v Speaker 1>what the fuck I did. But there's a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>things I don't remember, and there's people I don't remember.

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<v Speaker 1>Like there'd be people that will be like come up

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<v Speaker 1>to me and be like, don't you remember this person

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<v Speaker 1>or you slept with that person? And I'm like who.

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<v Speaker 2>I totally knew I had a problem when I called

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<v Speaker 2>my homegirl that I used to work with, and I said.

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<v Speaker 3>Hey, girl, I just got a weird dream. I just

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<v Speaker 3>want to know, did I fuck.

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<v Speaker 2>Our bartender that we worked with at this job. She said, yes, bitch,

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<v Speaker 2>you did one time. I was like, thank you, I'll

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<v Speaker 2>call you back.

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<v Speaker 3>It dawned on me, Wow, how many of those are there?

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<v Speaker 3>Probably quite a few, which you know is fine. I

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<v Speaker 3>drink less than I did then. I was a wild child.

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<v Speaker 1>I was.

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<v Speaker 2>I'll be the first to say I was sledting it

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<v Speaker 2>out hardcore. You know, I've graduated to being an ethical

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<v Speaker 2>slut being. I'm trying to be more ethical. Erica has

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<v Speaker 2>come to the conclusion that she thinks that I'm toxic,

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<v Speaker 2>which could be true.

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<v Speaker 1>Did I come to that conclusion?

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<v Speaker 3>You said it to me in the car yesterday?

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<v Speaker 1>I said, toxic tendencies.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm working on it. It's not my fault.

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<v Speaker 1>I think that you will like a little drama, like

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<v Speaker 1>a little spice. Do you like a little sprinkle drama?

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<v Speaker 3>I don't like drama.

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<v Speaker 1>I like.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't like a little psycho love.

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<v Speaker 1>That's psycho's drama. Bit I don't usually psycho equals drama.

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<v Speaker 2>I want you to love me so bad you're gonna

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<v Speaker 2>go crazy, but like, don't act crazy to me.

0:10:31.480 --> 0:10:32.360
<v Speaker 3>I don't have time for that.

0:10:33.000 --> 0:10:35.320
<v Speaker 1>Speaking of which is well, I guess we'll talk off

0:10:35.360 --> 0:10:37.320
<v Speaker 1>air about this, But I'm just wondering what you know,

0:10:37.320 --> 0:10:40.520
<v Speaker 1>your little psycho, the psychonist that has led to the

0:10:40.600 --> 0:10:43.520
<v Speaker 1>drama that is occurring that apparently doesn't happen in your life.

0:10:43.679 --> 0:10:46.200
<v Speaker 1>No drama. How's that going for you today?

0:10:46.880 --> 0:10:49.360
<v Speaker 2>First of all, there's no drama because I am ignoring

0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:53.600
<v Speaker 2>the whole fucking situation. But if I must confess because

0:10:53.720 --> 0:10:55.800
<v Speaker 2>Erica has asked me when she didn't wait till laughter,

0:10:55.920 --> 0:10:56.720
<v Speaker 2>because she doesn't.

0:10:56.480 --> 0:10:58.360
<v Speaker 3>Give a fuck about my feelings.

0:11:00.679 --> 0:11:04.920
<v Speaker 2>So my toxicity probably includes me falling in love a lot,

0:11:05.040 --> 0:11:05.439
<v Speaker 2>not a lot.

0:11:05.520 --> 0:11:06.280
<v Speaker 3>I do love people.

0:11:06.320 --> 0:11:08.199
<v Speaker 2>I'd be loving people, I'd be wanting to liberate them

0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:09.920
<v Speaker 2>because I feel like I've found that a lot of

0:11:09.920 --> 0:11:12.480
<v Speaker 2>people have a hard time being free and have a

0:11:12.520 --> 0:11:16.560
<v Speaker 2>hard time like igniting life like they're not they're lust

0:11:16.679 --> 0:11:18.960
<v Speaker 2>for life, and I feel like, naturally I have that

0:11:19.040 --> 0:11:23.240
<v Speaker 2>really Well, shit happens, but always I'm happy to be here,

0:11:23.240 --> 0:11:26.319
<v Speaker 2>and always I'm trying to find the highest height of

0:11:26.360 --> 0:11:28.720
<v Speaker 2>what my life experience could be, whether it be in

0:11:28.800 --> 0:11:31.840
<v Speaker 2>sex and friendship. Like I'm generally the type of person

0:11:31.880 --> 0:11:34.600
<v Speaker 2>that like, I'm gonna milk the fuck out of this life. Okay,

0:11:34.679 --> 0:11:37.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm only here for this time, looking like this, doing

0:11:37.960 --> 0:11:40.680
<v Speaker 2>this one time, I'm gonna do everything I fucking can

0:11:40.760 --> 0:11:42.560
<v Speaker 2>to make it as great as I can.

0:11:43.000 --> 0:11:44.880
<v Speaker 3>Anyway, I don't know if any if you're on our

0:11:44.880 --> 0:11:45.680
<v Speaker 3>close friends.

0:11:45.800 --> 0:11:49.960
<v Speaker 2>But some time ago, a few months ago, I first

0:11:50.040 --> 0:11:53.160
<v Speaker 2>I cheated on that boyfriend. Then I was sad, so

0:11:53.440 --> 0:11:56.839
<v Speaker 2>I went to the Internet with my sadness. I met

0:11:56.880 --> 0:12:00.200
<v Speaker 2>a niggain in my DMS. He was entertaining me. I

0:12:00.320 --> 0:12:02.839
<v Speaker 2>was trying to get over the last guy, and he said,

0:12:02.920 --> 0:12:05.520
<v Speaker 2>come visit me in blah blah blah blah blah.

0:12:05.840 --> 0:12:07.280
<v Speaker 3>So what do I do?

0:12:07.840 --> 0:12:08.080
<v Speaker 1>Duh?

0:12:08.120 --> 0:12:11.040
<v Speaker 2>I say, Yeah, which better way to get over another

0:12:11.120 --> 0:12:14.240
<v Speaker 2>niggas to get under another one and go to a trip.

0:12:16.320 --> 0:12:17.960
<v Speaker 2>Did I have other things going on in my life

0:12:17.960 --> 0:12:21.720
<v Speaker 2>that needed prioritizing? Sure, I just moved. Did I needed furniture?

0:12:21.760 --> 0:12:25.400
<v Speaker 2>But first the first recovery, dick right.

0:12:25.640 --> 0:12:26.240
<v Speaker 1>Very important.

0:12:26.640 --> 0:12:29.719
<v Speaker 2>I fully endorsed this message, so literally, I got the

0:12:29.800 --> 0:12:32.680
<v Speaker 2>keys to my apartment on like Monday Wednesday morning, I

0:12:32.720 --> 0:12:36.640
<v Speaker 2>went to get under somebody. So I traveled. I spent

0:12:36.840 --> 0:12:39.000
<v Speaker 2>a couple a few days with this gentleman. We had

0:12:39.000 --> 0:12:39.800
<v Speaker 2>a really good time.

0:12:40.120 --> 0:12:40.520
<v Speaker 3>We did.

0:12:40.640 --> 0:12:42.880
<v Speaker 2>He's totally opposite me. Which is something I guess I

0:12:42.920 --> 0:12:44.439
<v Speaker 2>tend to do a lot. I just find people who

0:12:44.440 --> 0:12:45.520
<v Speaker 2>are nothing like me, and I'm.

0:12:45.400 --> 0:12:47.280
<v Speaker 3>Like, come here, let me pull you out of your shell.

0:12:47.440 --> 0:12:48.600
<v Speaker 1>Come come out of the cage.

0:12:48.840 --> 0:12:51.560
<v Speaker 3>Take off your shirt, take off your pants, run wild.

0:12:51.600 --> 0:12:53.640
<v Speaker 3>It'll be fun. And that's what I do.

0:12:53.800 --> 0:12:55.400
<v Speaker 2>And then they do and they get a taste of

0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:59.480
<v Speaker 2>freedom and life and like vibrantness, and they're like, ooh, Mila,

0:12:59.640 --> 0:13:00.480
<v Speaker 2>like how that tastes.

0:13:00.800 --> 0:13:01.679
<v Speaker 3>Let me get a little more.

0:13:01.760 --> 0:13:05.559
<v Speaker 2>Let me And then they get greedy and they want

0:13:05.600 --> 0:13:08.560
<v Speaker 2>to eat me alive and keep me forever. And it's

0:13:08.640 --> 0:13:11.559
<v Speaker 2>just that's not how I work. I'm a wild animal,

0:13:11.600 --> 0:13:15.439
<v Speaker 2>free spirit witch, and you can't put me in a cage. Anyway,

0:13:16.200 --> 0:13:19.160
<v Speaker 2>that happened. We had a good time. I told him

0:13:19.160 --> 0:13:22.560
<v Speaker 2>I loved him, because I do be loving people. Anyway,

0:13:22.840 --> 0:13:29.480
<v Speaker 2>he really really got entangled into Mila, and shortly after

0:13:29.840 --> 0:13:31.600
<v Speaker 2>at that time, I told him, like, I'm open. I

0:13:31.640 --> 0:13:33.800
<v Speaker 2>just got out of something. I don't want any type

0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:36.319
<v Speaker 2>of relationship. I have another person. I went on the

0:13:36.360 --> 0:13:38.960
<v Speaker 2>trip with another person. I made that clear. I was

0:13:39.000 --> 0:13:43.040
<v Speaker 2>really indulging in my ethical slight open, radical honesty that

0:13:43.120 --> 0:13:46.240
<v Speaker 2>he was aware of Somewhere along the way is another

0:13:46.280 --> 0:13:50.640
<v Speaker 2>guy that I'm actually truly really in love with, and

0:13:50.679 --> 0:13:52.560
<v Speaker 2>so I kind of fell off, you know. And I

0:13:52.600 --> 0:13:54.679
<v Speaker 2>don't like to be obligated to do anything. I don't

0:13:54.679 --> 0:13:56.480
<v Speaker 2>want to have to call you every day. I don't

0:13:56.520 --> 0:14:00.280
<v Speaker 2>want to have to check in. So that naturally fell

0:14:00.280 --> 0:14:01.800
<v Speaker 2>off for me because I have shit going on in

0:14:01.800 --> 0:14:04.800
<v Speaker 2>my life. He came here to visit one time, which

0:14:04.880 --> 0:14:08.880
<v Speaker 2>was fine. Still, I don't want anything that you expect.

0:14:09.120 --> 0:14:12.840
<v Speaker 1>Never settled, didn't say a word shit, I didn't say

0:14:13.000 --> 0:14:14.680
<v Speaker 1>one fucking word.

0:14:14.880 --> 0:14:17.600
<v Speaker 2>Here's a man of little words. I think that's another thing.

0:14:17.640 --> 0:14:19.480
<v Speaker 2>I like men of little words, because what are.

0:14:19.360 --> 0:14:21.320
<v Speaker 3>You thinking in there? Let me tell me? Talk to me?

0:14:22.240 --> 0:14:26.000
<v Speaker 2>Anyway, he came, he left. That was probably about like

0:14:26.040 --> 0:14:28.400
<v Speaker 2>three months ago, two or three months ago. At this point,

0:14:29.200 --> 0:14:31.720
<v Speaker 2>I told him he has expectations. I was like, look,

0:14:31.800 --> 0:14:35.200
<v Speaker 2>I am very busy. We're living very different lives. He

0:14:35.240 --> 0:14:37.000
<v Speaker 2>wants different things out of life, you know, and I

0:14:37.000 --> 0:14:39.080
<v Speaker 2>think I kind of like spark that for him. Some

0:14:39.120 --> 0:14:41.400
<v Speaker 2>people are content doing what they've been doing for twenty

0:14:41.480 --> 0:14:43.680
<v Speaker 2>years and they don't want anything more. And I don't

0:14:43.760 --> 0:14:46.960
<v Speaker 2>understand it, but like everyone has their thing, you know,

0:14:47.040 --> 0:14:48.880
<v Speaker 2>and I think that he was just settling. And I

0:14:48.880 --> 0:14:50.680
<v Speaker 2>think he knew he was settling, but he hadn't had

0:14:50.680 --> 0:14:52.960
<v Speaker 2>a woman like me say, look at me living my

0:14:52.960 --> 0:14:55.560
<v Speaker 2>best life, and you look like you're settling, you should

0:14:55.560 --> 0:14:58.800
<v Speaker 2>probably maybe get thirsty or and hungrier because life has

0:14:58.800 --> 0:15:01.040
<v Speaker 2>so much more to offer you. And obviously, like, I

0:15:01.080 --> 0:15:02.680
<v Speaker 2>didn't say it like that because that sounds mean. And

0:15:02.680 --> 0:15:04.160
<v Speaker 2>you know, I'm always worried about being mean because I'm

0:15:04.120 --> 0:15:06.880
<v Speaker 2>a people plaser, which is probably why I didn't directly, upfront,

0:15:06.920 --> 0:15:09.000
<v Speaker 2>straight up say hey, I'm in love with someone else,

0:15:09.200 --> 0:15:15.600
<v Speaker 2>just leave me alone. So now yesterday, out of nowhere,

0:15:15.640 --> 0:15:17.680
<v Speaker 2>I get a text, Hey, what's up?

0:15:17.800 --> 0:15:19.680
<v Speaker 3>Hey, how are you? I'm good?

0:15:20.640 --> 0:15:23.680
<v Speaker 2>What kind of weed do you smell? Where's those mushrooms

0:15:23.720 --> 0:15:25.680
<v Speaker 2>that you have? Where do you get those? I'm like,

0:15:26.240 --> 0:15:26.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm the plug.

0:15:27.040 --> 0:15:29.400
<v Speaker 3>I have a lot of plugs. I smoke hybrids.

0:15:29.440 --> 0:15:33.080
<v Speaker 2>Now he's like, okay, keep in mind, this person did

0:15:33.160 --> 0:15:36.760
<v Speaker 2>none of these things. I also encourage all my niggas

0:15:36.760 --> 0:15:38.280
<v Speaker 2>to take psychedelics.

0:15:38.320 --> 0:15:39.800
<v Speaker 3>And he's like, because.

0:15:39.600 --> 0:15:41.920
<v Speaker 1>I speaking of psychedelics, DMS.

0:15:41.760 --> 0:15:48.040
<v Speaker 2>DMS for the psychedelics or black market advertising, our sponsors

0:15:48.080 --> 0:15:51.920
<v Speaker 2>are gonna pull out, like these pictures anyway, disregardless of kidding.

0:15:52.160 --> 0:15:52.640
<v Speaker 3>No, we're not.

0:15:53.160 --> 0:15:54.960
<v Speaker 2>He's like, well, oh, I just wanted to know because

0:15:54.960 --> 0:15:57.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna need to know the plug in about four hours.

0:15:58.440 --> 0:16:02.160
<v Speaker 2>Excuse me, sir, you're gonna need to know what in

0:16:02.240 --> 0:16:03.680
<v Speaker 2>four hours? Why would you need to know that? You

0:16:03.680 --> 0:16:05.400
<v Speaker 2>don't live in the state that I live in. In fact,

0:16:05.440 --> 0:16:07.560
<v Speaker 2>the only time you've even visited this state in the

0:16:07.640 --> 0:16:09.600
<v Speaker 2>last ten years is because of me?

0:16:09.720 --> 0:16:11.920
<v Speaker 3>Yours truly? Which what do you mean?

0:16:12.720 --> 0:16:14.880
<v Speaker 2>Uh? It took some time to get back to that response,

0:16:14.920 --> 0:16:16.560
<v Speaker 2>probably because at that point he realized it.

0:16:16.480 --> 0:16:17.640
<v Speaker 3>Sounded a little crazy.

0:16:18.200 --> 0:16:20.480
<v Speaker 2>I haven't talked to you in months, and the last

0:16:20.520 --> 0:16:21.720
<v Speaker 2>time I talked to you just said like, I don't

0:16:21.720 --> 0:16:22.600
<v Speaker 2>have a lot of time for this.

0:16:22.840 --> 0:16:25.400
<v Speaker 3>And the next time you hit me up, you're here,

0:16:25.920 --> 0:16:26.880
<v Speaker 3>You're in my city.

0:16:28.720 --> 0:16:31.680
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, this is the toxicity that she speaks of. Again,

0:16:31.760 --> 0:16:33.680
<v Speaker 2>I don't really feel like it's my fault. I feel

0:16:33.680 --> 0:16:35.800
<v Speaker 2>like this is I don't pop up in my house,

0:16:35.800 --> 0:16:36.320
<v Speaker 2>I'll kill you.

0:16:36.720 --> 0:16:38.320
<v Speaker 1>I don't think it's your fault. I just think that

0:16:38.480 --> 0:16:40.240
<v Speaker 1>I don't know how many times I have to tell

0:16:40.280 --> 0:16:44.200
<v Speaker 1>you that you are fucking magical, and when you sprinkle

0:16:44.240 --> 0:16:48.360
<v Speaker 1>your magic on niggas that are in a little shell,

0:16:48.920 --> 0:16:52.440
<v Speaker 1>and they get that little click from you, niggas will

0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:55.440
<v Speaker 1>be crazy. Just remember that episode. Bitches be crazy or

0:16:55.440 --> 0:16:57.960
<v Speaker 1>whatever the fuck. Bitches be psycho. Niggas be psycho too.

0:16:58.440 --> 0:17:01.880
<v Speaker 1>When they get the knight fairy fairy dust sprinkled on

0:17:01.920 --> 0:17:05.480
<v Speaker 1>that very pussy may get the fairy pussy sprinkled, they

0:17:05.640 --> 0:17:09.240
<v Speaker 1>be tripping. So all I'm saying is, you know, be

0:17:09.320 --> 0:17:12.800
<v Speaker 1>more careful with the how you sprinkle, and also be

0:17:12.840 --> 0:17:14.480
<v Speaker 1>careful who you tell you love, who you say I

0:17:14.560 --> 0:17:16.800
<v Speaker 1>love you too, because I realize that when you say

0:17:16.800 --> 0:17:19.040
<v Speaker 1>I love you, like sometimes it is like in love,

0:17:19.040 --> 0:17:20.880
<v Speaker 1>but then sometimes it is just like I love you,

0:17:20.960 --> 0:17:22.960
<v Speaker 1>like I love you, and like I think I've even

0:17:23.160 --> 0:17:26.040
<v Speaker 1>under like I've opened myself up to being able to

0:17:26.080 --> 0:17:28.359
<v Speaker 1>say that, because I used to reserve the word love

0:17:28.720 --> 0:17:31.800
<v Speaker 1>for like very specific type of love, and I don't

0:17:31.840 --> 0:17:33.760
<v Speaker 1>really do that anymore. But I also know that I

0:17:33.840 --> 0:17:35.800
<v Speaker 1>have to be careful who I say that to, because

0:17:35.840 --> 0:17:39.320
<v Speaker 1>not everybody understands that, especially when you're having sex with

0:17:39.359 --> 0:17:41.000
<v Speaker 1>them and I don't and like looking in their eyes

0:17:41.080 --> 0:17:44.080
<v Speaker 1>and saying I love you, and like maybe like holding

0:17:44.119 --> 0:17:47.639
<v Speaker 1>them and like dreading their hair and like looking in

0:17:47.680 --> 0:17:50.040
<v Speaker 1>their eyes when you're having sex and saying I love you.

0:17:50.720 --> 0:17:52.920
<v Speaker 3>Relax. I did all that.

0:17:53.200 --> 0:17:56.880
<v Speaker 2>I did twist his hair. I'm a cancer. I'm the

0:17:56.920 --> 0:17:59.600
<v Speaker 2>mother of all the signs. I like to nurture into

0:17:59.640 --> 0:18:03.280
<v Speaker 2>hole and to cuddle and to like encourage and motivate.

0:18:03.520 --> 0:18:05.879
<v Speaker 2>But it doesn't mean I'm here to stay. It means

0:18:06.160 --> 0:18:08.280
<v Speaker 2>figure your shit out and live better.

0:18:08.400 --> 0:18:09.879
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I know the niggas should not have come. That's

0:18:09.880 --> 0:18:11.760
<v Speaker 1>out of pocket. That's crazy, that's crazy, I mean.

0:18:11.800 --> 0:18:14.120
<v Speaker 2>And then I today, I'm like, who are you here?

0:18:14.160 --> 0:18:17.960
<v Speaker 2>With himself? So I don't know if there's expectation to

0:18:18.000 --> 0:18:20.399
<v Speaker 2>see me. I don't really. Here's one thing about me.

0:18:20.440 --> 0:18:22.199
<v Speaker 2>I care, care, care, I love, love, love. But when

0:18:22.240 --> 0:18:27.480
<v Speaker 2>I don't care anymore, I can't care. There's nothing I

0:18:27.480 --> 0:18:29.679
<v Speaker 2>can do about it. I'm sorry I can't see you.

0:18:29.920 --> 0:18:32.119
<v Speaker 2>I'm booked and busy. You should have called first, you

0:18:32.119 --> 0:18:35.000
<v Speaker 2>should have not come. This was not my intention, but

0:18:35.080 --> 0:18:36.920
<v Speaker 2>you know, Erica told me months ago, called the nigga

0:18:36.920 --> 0:18:39.240
<v Speaker 2>and say there's somebody else, And because I'm too nice.

0:18:39.080 --> 0:18:39.399
<v Speaker 1>I did it.

0:18:39.520 --> 0:18:43.600
<v Speaker 2>And so I take full responsibility if this portion of

0:18:43.600 --> 0:18:47.199
<v Speaker 2>my toxicity and I'm going to be more upfront and

0:18:47.520 --> 0:18:49.919
<v Speaker 2>forward and direct, even if it hurts a nigga's feelings

0:18:50.040 --> 0:18:53.439
<v Speaker 2>or bitches feelings in the future, because this is probably

0:18:53.440 --> 0:18:56.480
<v Speaker 2>really gonna hurt when you've traveled to fucking two thousand

0:18:56.560 --> 0:18:58.720
<v Speaker 2>miles to see someone you're not guaranteed to see and

0:18:58.720 --> 0:19:00.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to guarantee you're not going to see me.

0:19:00.840 --> 0:19:03.560
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, and he told me in the beginning's like,

0:19:03.560 --> 0:19:05.560
<v Speaker 2>you're gonna hurt me. I'm like, that's not my intention.

0:19:06.359 --> 0:19:08.400
<v Speaker 2>But if you felt that way, you should have went

0:19:08.400 --> 0:19:10.960
<v Speaker 2>with your instinct because you probably knew that you were

0:19:11.160 --> 0:19:17.720
<v Speaker 2>husband material. And this is gonna sound really fucked up, but.

0:19:16.800 --> 0:19:19.080
<v Speaker 1>Are you a couple looking to find a third or

0:19:19.119 --> 0:19:21.199
<v Speaker 1>are you single and searching for a dating app that

0:19:21.400 --> 0:19:25.320
<v Speaker 1>actually encourages you to embrace your sexual side, then you

0:19:25.440 --> 0:19:29.359
<v Speaker 1>need to check out Field. Field is the alternative dating

0:19:29.400 --> 0:19:34.080
<v Speaker 1>app for couples and singles, and I fucking love it.

0:19:34.080 --> 0:19:36.560
<v Speaker 2>It's amazing and I'm gonna be honest, I've been using

0:19:36.600 --> 0:19:38.720
<v Speaker 2>Field to find a third person for me and my

0:19:38.800 --> 0:19:42.240
<v Speaker 2>man and it's pretty cool because I can make my

0:19:42.280 --> 0:19:46.200
<v Speaker 2>own profile and connect it to his. It's called paired profiles,

0:19:46.240 --> 0:19:49.119
<v Speaker 2>so whoever you're seeking can check you both out, and

0:19:49.160 --> 0:19:51.119
<v Speaker 2>you guys are connected on the app.

0:19:51.480 --> 0:19:55.520
<v Speaker 1>I love it. It's makes my ethical slut heart smile.

0:19:55.400 --> 0:19:56.280
<v Speaker 3>Honestly it does.

0:19:56.359 --> 0:19:58.840
<v Speaker 2>It's just really an open space for open minded people

0:19:58.920 --> 0:20:01.480
<v Speaker 2>to link up, make friendships, and maybe make love.

0:20:01.560 --> 0:20:03.840
<v Speaker 1>And here's some great news you guys. You can download

0:20:03.880 --> 0:20:06.720
<v Speaker 1>the Field app for free and support our show by

0:20:06.800 --> 0:20:10.280
<v Speaker 1>using the link in this episode's description. Just click the

0:20:10.280 --> 0:20:12.399
<v Speaker 1>link in our episode to get the Field app for

0:20:12.440 --> 0:20:13.200
<v Speaker 1>free today.

0:20:15.000 --> 0:20:15.760
<v Speaker 3>Do you feel this way?

0:20:15.800 --> 0:20:19.239
<v Speaker 2>Like if you see a woman and she's thriving, and

0:20:19.280 --> 0:20:22.840
<v Speaker 2>she's living her best life, and she's going after her

0:20:22.920 --> 0:20:27.560
<v Speaker 2>dreams and living in her purpose and manifesting abundantly, what

0:20:27.600 --> 0:20:32.360
<v Speaker 2>the fuck makes you think that? If you are living

0:20:32.840 --> 0:20:39.440
<v Speaker 2>a life of conplacency and contentness, and you're just like, eh,

0:20:39.640 --> 0:20:43.439
<v Speaker 2>I'm kind of happy. I think I clocked in and

0:20:44.200 --> 0:20:45.560
<v Speaker 2>more power to the clock ins.

0:20:45.720 --> 0:20:47.080
<v Speaker 3>But are you happy?

0:20:47.359 --> 0:20:50.480
<v Speaker 2>Don't come be here in my light and think that

0:20:51.080 --> 0:20:52.640
<v Speaker 2>we're compatible forever.

0:20:53.359 --> 0:20:54.360
<v Speaker 3>It's disrespectful.

0:20:54.880 --> 0:21:00.800
<v Speaker 1>Well, those people are usually called energy vampires, and sometimes

0:21:00.800 --> 0:21:03.480
<v Speaker 1>it's conscious, sometimes it's unconscious. But like I said, you

0:21:03.560 --> 0:21:05.640
<v Speaker 1>have a light, like I was telling, what was I telling?

0:21:05.680 --> 0:21:06.720
<v Speaker 3>Irene? In the car yesterday.

0:21:07.160 --> 0:21:09.920
<v Speaker 1>She's like, what did you say to Jamila. I was like, Jamila.

0:21:10.000 --> 0:21:12.640
<v Speaker 1>I was like, Jamila, it's baby, I was telling Iri

0:21:12.800 --> 0:21:14.679
<v Speaker 1>was like, baby, it's like when we leave the door

0:21:14.720 --> 0:21:16.639
<v Speaker 1>open at night and there's that light inside, and you

0:21:16.680 --> 0:21:18.520
<v Speaker 1>freak out because all the bugs keep coming in because

0:21:18.520 --> 0:21:20.679
<v Speaker 1>they're attracted to the light. Jamala is the light and

0:21:20.720 --> 0:21:21.399
<v Speaker 1>all the niggas are.

0:21:21.440 --> 0:21:24.880
<v Speaker 3>The bugs keep coming in trying to get it, trying

0:21:24.880 --> 0:21:25.400
<v Speaker 3>to get some.

0:21:25.440 --> 0:21:27.239
<v Speaker 1>And then we keep closing the door, but we keep

0:21:27.320 --> 0:21:30.440
<v Speaker 1>leaving it open a little bit. So yeah, I think

0:21:30.480 --> 0:21:33.360
<v Speaker 1>honesty is always the best policy. You're very honest here,

0:21:33.720 --> 0:21:35.480
<v Speaker 1>so you just got to be honest to these niggas.

0:21:35.520 --> 0:21:37.639
<v Speaker 2>And I feel bad right now. I feel bad, like, like,

0:21:37.720 --> 0:21:39.919
<v Speaker 2>is this my life? Did I get into a career

0:21:40.000 --> 0:21:42.760
<v Speaker 2>that I do toxic shit and then talk shit about

0:21:42.800 --> 0:21:46.800
<v Speaker 2>it publicly? I mean, luckily for everyone there's no names involved.

0:21:47.520 --> 0:21:51.240
<v Speaker 2>But I'm actually just honestly working through my issues out loud,

0:21:51.280 --> 0:21:55.200
<v Speaker 2>and unfortunately that requires that I talk about other people sometimes.

0:21:55.280 --> 0:21:58.920
<v Speaker 2>And I'm realizing that this wasn't cool, and I probably

0:21:58.960 --> 0:22:01.880
<v Speaker 2>will pick up the phone when he leaves the city

0:22:02.280 --> 0:22:04.400
<v Speaker 2>and reiterate because I'm not picking up the phone while

0:22:04.400 --> 0:22:05.480
<v Speaker 2>you're here because I don't care.

0:22:06.160 --> 0:22:09.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and he's out of pocket, Like I said, that's crazy.

0:22:09.359 --> 0:22:11.560
<v Speaker 1>I don't care if, especially if you haven't really been

0:22:11.600 --> 0:22:13.600
<v Speaker 1>giving him that attention. There's no reason to just pop

0:22:13.680 --> 0:22:15.000
<v Speaker 1>up on you. You have no one. First of all,

0:22:15.000 --> 0:22:17.800
<v Speaker 1>you have a child, like you have shit going on

0:22:17.920 --> 0:22:21.280
<v Speaker 1>right now, Like you need to give mom's notice period.

0:22:21.400 --> 0:22:23.240
<v Speaker 1>Moms need notice and all period.

0:22:23.359 --> 0:22:23.639
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:22:23.800 --> 0:22:26.560
<v Speaker 2>My old thing too, is like I don't need a hint.

0:22:26.560 --> 0:22:28.480
<v Speaker 2>If a nigga's not interested in me, I'll be the

0:22:28.480 --> 0:22:32.240
<v Speaker 2>first bitch to know. Like I'm not, Oh, okay, cool out.

0:22:32.560 --> 0:22:34.199
<v Speaker 2>I don't think I should have the spell shit out

0:22:34.200 --> 0:22:34.600
<v Speaker 2>to niggau.

0:22:34.680 --> 0:22:38.399
<v Speaker 1>Some people just don't get social cues and they really

0:22:38.480 --> 0:22:40.399
<v Speaker 1>just don't or they just don't want to.

0:22:40.520 --> 0:22:42.359
<v Speaker 3>And I get it. I'm addictive, you know, like I

0:22:42.520 --> 0:22:44.280
<v Speaker 3>feel good and but.

0:22:45.200 --> 0:22:48.280
<v Speaker 1>You take a man you knew that he's never experienced

0:22:48.280 --> 0:22:50.639
<v Speaker 1>anything like you, and you give him a taste, and

0:22:50.720 --> 0:22:52.000
<v Speaker 1>of course they're gonna get addicted.

0:22:52.200 --> 0:22:54.479
<v Speaker 3>Yes, it's just I wanted him to know that you

0:22:54.520 --> 0:22:55.080
<v Speaker 3>can have more.

0:22:55.480 --> 0:22:57.239
<v Speaker 1>Okay, but do you think did work? No?

0:22:57.560 --> 0:22:59.520
<v Speaker 3>Well I did it. I'm sure he's gonna he told me.

0:22:59.560 --> 0:23:03.320
<v Speaker 2>Has a job interview on Friday for the same same

0:23:03.400 --> 0:23:04.320
<v Speaker 2>job in a different city.

0:23:04.680 --> 0:23:05.919
<v Speaker 3>That's step one, you know.

0:23:06.240 --> 0:23:08.080
<v Speaker 2>But I just feel like, even like he was here

0:23:08.119 --> 0:23:10.040
<v Speaker 2>around the time, we had a meeting about this thing

0:23:10.080 --> 0:23:13.400
<v Speaker 2>that's happening with us, and they were talking like numbers

0:23:13.400 --> 0:23:15.679
<v Speaker 2>and like this huge deal was happening on speakerphone, and

0:23:15.720 --> 0:23:17.280
<v Speaker 2>I just like looked over and I was just like,

0:23:17.280 --> 0:23:20.679
<v Speaker 2>this is awkward. It just felt awkward to me, Like

0:23:20.720 --> 0:23:23.760
<v Speaker 2>I really wasn't like I was celebrating this win. And

0:23:23.800 --> 0:23:26.960
<v Speaker 2>I just kind of felt bad because I felt like

0:23:27.000 --> 0:23:28.480
<v Speaker 2>maybe he felt like, oh damn, like, what have I

0:23:28.600 --> 0:23:29.320
<v Speaker 2>been doing all this year?

0:23:29.320 --> 0:23:31.879
<v Speaker 1>You're not equally yoked. You're not, And you know what,

0:23:31.960 --> 0:23:32.959
<v Speaker 1>don't feel bad about it.

0:23:33.000 --> 0:23:34.720
<v Speaker 2>I feel bad because I've not I haven't always been here.

0:23:35.040 --> 0:23:39.200
<v Speaker 2>Of course I'm not, of course not. But you're here

0:23:39.280 --> 0:23:43.479
<v Speaker 2>now and so and so. Don't bring yourself backwards because

0:23:43.800 --> 0:23:46.400
<v Speaker 2>of where you used to be. No, Like, that's not

0:23:46.560 --> 0:23:50.560
<v Speaker 2>how you continue to propel forward by bringing people from.

0:23:50.359 --> 0:23:53.080
<v Speaker 1>Behind with you on the journey, right, you know what

0:23:53.119 --> 0:23:55.160
<v Speaker 1>I mean? It's one thing to like, you know, bring

0:23:55.200 --> 0:23:57.080
<v Speaker 1>your people with you and you're like, you know, wanting

0:23:57.080 --> 0:23:58.320
<v Speaker 1>them to be a part of the journey.

0:23:58.359 --> 0:24:01.640
<v Speaker 3>But like niggas can't if you're not not everyone can come.

0:24:02.000 --> 0:24:03.600
<v Speaker 3>And I'm learning that not everyone's invited.

0:24:03.880 --> 0:24:06.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm learning, you know, I have no problem on inviting people.

0:24:06.240 --> 0:24:08.399
<v Speaker 3>I know that's where I need to take more from you.

0:24:08.600 --> 0:24:10.439
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna start calling people for you, like, hey, So

0:24:10.560 --> 0:24:11.960
<v Speaker 1>this is really.

0:24:11.720 --> 0:24:12.760
<v Speaker 3>When this was conspiring.

0:24:12.800 --> 0:24:14.520
<v Speaker 2>I wanted to give you my phone and I wish

0:24:14.600 --> 0:24:16.919
<v Speaker 2>that you would just do it for me.

0:24:17.720 --> 0:24:20.119
<v Speaker 1>My Hello, this is Tremila's wife. It's over.

0:24:21.359 --> 0:24:22.080
<v Speaker 3>She's moved on.

0:24:22.200 --> 0:24:24.080
<v Speaker 1>She's moved on. I know she sprinkled the fairy dust.

0:24:24.119 --> 0:24:25.760
<v Speaker 1>I know, nigga, I know the pussy was bombed. But

0:24:26.240 --> 0:24:28.240
<v Speaker 1>it's over. It's over. She's in love with someone else

0:24:28.280 --> 0:24:31.280
<v Speaker 1>now and you should but you should do all the

0:24:31.280 --> 0:24:33.159
<v Speaker 1>things she said that you should do, like do all

0:24:33.200 --> 0:24:34.120
<v Speaker 1>those things, but.

0:24:34.280 --> 0:24:34.960
<v Speaker 3>With someone else.

0:24:36.640 --> 0:24:40.360
<v Speaker 2>I this is a perfect example of why Dick can

0:24:40.440 --> 0:24:43.280
<v Speaker 2>confuse you and why Dick is not the solution of

0:24:43.320 --> 0:24:47.600
<v Speaker 2>getting over somebody else, because it just doesn't work well.

0:24:47.640 --> 0:24:52.040
<v Speaker 1>Speaking of Dick, and you know confusion, and you know

0:24:52.920 --> 0:24:55.879
<v Speaker 1>the history of penis in our life. I thought, in

0:24:55.960 --> 0:25:00.159
<v Speaker 1>honor of this first week of June and us talking

0:25:00.320 --> 0:25:03.600
<v Speaker 1>all about sex all June and having some really cool

0:25:03.640 --> 0:25:07.159
<v Speaker 1>guests on this month as well to talk about sex, sex, work,

0:25:07.640 --> 0:25:11.760
<v Speaker 1>all the things I wanted to share with you guys

0:25:11.800 --> 0:25:15.320
<v Speaker 1>our history with sex, starting with how we lost our virginity,

0:25:16.600 --> 0:25:19.560
<v Speaker 1>which for me was not great.

0:25:21.880 --> 0:25:22.800
<v Speaker 3>Please do tell.

0:25:24.000 --> 0:25:27.400
<v Speaker 1>Okay, Well, you know, I started thinking about sex at

0:25:27.400 --> 0:25:31.760
<v Speaker 1>a really young age. The first time that I saw

0:25:31.840 --> 0:25:36.600
<v Speaker 1>sex was at shout out to my friend Gigi. Her dad.

0:25:36.800 --> 0:25:38.840
<v Speaker 1>He was an NBA player, and he had this huge

0:25:38.920 --> 0:25:42.399
<v Speaker 1>mansion and I was basically living there all summer long,

0:25:42.520 --> 0:25:46.560
<v Speaker 1>and he had like every single channel that there could

0:25:46.560 --> 0:25:50.320
<v Speaker 1>have ever been on television, and he had this workout room,

0:25:50.359 --> 0:25:52.639
<v Speaker 1>and I remember like he had these bikes, these like

0:25:52.680 --> 0:25:55.680
<v Speaker 1>stationary bikes, and me and Gigi would like fake bike

0:25:55.920 --> 0:25:59.040
<v Speaker 1>and watch TV. And one day we stumbled upon I

0:25:59.080 --> 0:26:01.399
<v Speaker 1>think was the Playboy chain all and like it was

0:26:01.400 --> 0:26:03.879
<v Speaker 1>like we hit gold, Like we're like, what the fuck

0:26:04.080 --> 0:26:09.160
<v Speaker 1>is this? Probably like ten and we were like what

0:26:09.160 --> 0:26:11.639
<v Speaker 1>what is this? So I just remember like us like

0:26:11.760 --> 0:26:14.280
<v Speaker 1>riding is such a strange visual, but like two ten

0:26:14.359 --> 0:26:16.399
<v Speaker 1>year olds like fake working out on the bike, but

0:26:16.440 --> 0:26:21.000
<v Speaker 1>also like watching porn and we were watching porn right

0:26:21.040 --> 0:26:23.360
<v Speaker 1>and then after like this was like our thing. We'd

0:26:23.359 --> 0:26:25.160
<v Speaker 1>go in there because no one bother us in there,

0:26:25.200 --> 0:26:28.479
<v Speaker 1>and we'd like either just chill, were working. But then

0:26:28.520 --> 0:26:30.120
<v Speaker 1>there was a time where like we're on the bike

0:26:30.160 --> 0:26:32.159
<v Speaker 1>and like I was watching it and I remember like

0:26:32.200 --> 0:26:37.040
<v Speaker 1>the bike seat feeling good and like I was kind

0:26:37.040 --> 0:26:39.639
<v Speaker 1>of like rubbing my pussy on the bike and like

0:26:39.680 --> 0:26:42.120
<v Speaker 1>watching the porn and I was like, what is this,

0:26:42.280 --> 0:26:47.280
<v Speaker 1>Like what is this like sensation? And so that was

0:26:47.320 --> 0:26:49.879
<v Speaker 1>like my entry into like, oh, this is what sex

0:26:49.960 --> 0:26:53.600
<v Speaker 1>is like. So porn was my first obviously intro into

0:26:53.760 --> 0:26:56.960
<v Speaker 1>what I thought sex was supposed to be like. And

0:26:57.600 --> 0:27:01.040
<v Speaker 1>then you know, not having a dad really around daddy

0:27:01.080 --> 0:27:03.720
<v Speaker 1>issues obviously played into this. And then my mom not

0:27:03.800 --> 0:27:07.800
<v Speaker 1>really discussing sex with me, and then like teenagers, like

0:27:07.840 --> 0:27:09.600
<v Speaker 1>as I I think it was around like eleven or twelve,

0:27:09.600 --> 0:27:11.440
<v Speaker 1>I was at an all girls school. So I was

0:27:11.480 --> 0:27:15.520
<v Speaker 1>an all girls school and with a bunch of girls

0:27:15.600 --> 0:27:19.960
<v Speaker 1>with a lot of misinformation teaching me about sex. When

0:27:20.000 --> 0:27:25.240
<v Speaker 1>I was twelve, we moved into a house right behind

0:27:25.359 --> 0:27:29.479
<v Speaker 1>an all boys high school. Worst mistake ever. And so

0:27:30.440 --> 0:27:33.000
<v Speaker 1>and around that time, obviously I'm going like my hormones

0:27:33.000 --> 0:27:36.280
<v Speaker 1>are raging. I'm like I think I'm supposed to have

0:27:36.320 --> 0:27:39.040
<v Speaker 1>sex now, like I had made out before, I like

0:27:39.119 --> 0:27:41.760
<v Speaker 1>got fingered. I think like I got fingered around age eleven.

0:27:41.800 --> 0:27:43.280
<v Speaker 1>I actually I did at age eleven.

0:27:43.720 --> 0:27:45.040
<v Speaker 3>That was a fingering year.

0:27:45.160 --> 0:27:46.720
<v Speaker 1>And I forget it was like my dad was eleven

0:27:46.760 --> 0:27:47.320
<v Speaker 1>and twelve.

0:27:47.080 --> 0:27:49.560
<v Speaker 3>You're getting the finger fucked all over everywhere.

0:27:49.680 --> 0:27:51.800
<v Speaker 1>My dad was getting inducted into the Hall of Fame

0:27:52.160 --> 0:27:55.919
<v Speaker 1>in Dayton, Ohio. And like his assistants son was my

0:27:56.040 --> 0:27:57.800
<v Speaker 1>age Daniel.

0:27:58.160 --> 0:28:02.800
<v Speaker 2>Oh oh, and he was probably so small, this valley,

0:28:02.880 --> 0:28:04.600
<v Speaker 2>so small, and he was so fine to me.

0:28:04.640 --> 0:28:06.359
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god. I was in love with him, and

0:28:06.440 --> 0:28:08.600
<v Speaker 1>he was coming on the trip. I was like vacation

0:28:10.359 --> 0:28:12.600
<v Speaker 1>and we I remember we were in we were at

0:28:12.640 --> 0:28:14.119
<v Speaker 1>the pool. We're at the pool, and there was like

0:28:14.160 --> 0:28:16.280
<v Speaker 1>a steam room at the pool too. So we went

0:28:16.320 --> 0:28:18.600
<v Speaker 1>in the pool and we started making out under the water.

0:28:18.760 --> 0:28:21.000
<v Speaker 1>Like that was like my first kiss was like underwater.

0:28:21.680 --> 0:28:23.920
<v Speaker 1>And then actually my first kiss was with a girl,

0:28:24.040 --> 0:28:27.240
<v Speaker 1>but I didn't count that first kiss with him was underwater.

0:28:27.280 --> 0:28:28.840
<v Speaker 1>And then we went into the steam room and then

0:28:28.920 --> 0:28:32.119
<v Speaker 1>like he like fingered me. And after that, I was like,

0:28:32.680 --> 0:28:37.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm having sex next, next is next next to sex.

0:28:37.640 --> 0:28:40.560
<v Speaker 1>So then I had a boyfriend around age twelve, my

0:28:40.600 --> 0:28:44.120
<v Speaker 1>first boyfriend, and he was like an age appropriate like

0:28:44.200 --> 0:28:47.720
<v Speaker 1>he was like very respectful, just wanted to make out,

0:28:47.920 --> 0:28:49.440
<v Speaker 1>like yeah, he fingered me, I guess in the back

0:28:49.440 --> 0:28:51.520
<v Speaker 1>of the like the movie theater at the Howard Hughes Center,

0:28:52.160 --> 0:28:54.959
<v Speaker 1>if you know, you know. But I remember telling him

0:28:54.960 --> 0:28:58.600
<v Speaker 1>that I was ready for sex at age twelve and

0:28:58.680 --> 0:29:01.760
<v Speaker 1>he was like, no, you're not. And I was, you

0:29:01.800 --> 0:29:04.480
<v Speaker 1>know me, you don't tell me what the fuck I'm

0:29:04.560 --> 0:29:07.320
<v Speaker 1>ready for my nigga. So I was like, no, I am,

0:29:07.400 --> 0:29:09.360
<v Speaker 1>and he was like, well, I'm not, and I don't

0:29:09.360 --> 0:29:11.680
<v Speaker 1>think we are, and I'm gonna make that choice for us,

0:29:12.200 --> 0:29:15.560
<v Speaker 1>very mature wow. And I was like, hmmm, nigh. Well,

0:29:15.560 --> 0:29:17.440
<v Speaker 1>do you know I lived behind All boys High School Niga.

0:29:18.080 --> 0:29:21.080
<v Speaker 1>So one day I was walking to the market and

0:29:21.160 --> 0:29:24.320
<v Speaker 1>I saw this very handsome, light skinned man sitting outside

0:29:24.600 --> 0:29:28.120
<v Speaker 1>in his basketball jersey and he had corn rows. God,

0:29:28.160 --> 0:29:29.000
<v Speaker 1>he was so fine.

0:29:29.160 --> 0:29:31.280
<v Speaker 2>And you know what interruption just because I know this

0:29:31.320 --> 0:29:33.600
<v Speaker 2>because we're in the valley. If you grew up in

0:29:33.600 --> 0:29:38.080
<v Speaker 2>the valley and you're black, there are very little black

0:29:38.120 --> 0:29:39.080
<v Speaker 2>guys in the valley.

0:29:39.320 --> 0:29:41.680
<v Speaker 3>So if you were black and you grew up in

0:29:41.760 --> 0:29:43.720
<v Speaker 3>the valley. You know that there are very.

0:29:43.600 --> 0:29:46.000
<v Speaker 2>Little black girls and black boys, so if you spotted

0:29:46.040 --> 0:29:48.880
<v Speaker 2>a fine one, you needed to figure it out quickly.

0:29:48.960 --> 0:29:50.320
<v Speaker 2>I mean there was literally I feel like there was

0:29:50.360 --> 0:29:51.920
<v Speaker 2>a hunt for black boys.

0:29:51.800 --> 0:29:52.480
<v Speaker 3>In this age.

0:29:52.800 --> 0:29:54.120
<v Speaker 1>Literally since I've met.

0:29:54.040 --> 0:29:56.200
<v Speaker 3>My baby daddy on a hunt for black guys.

0:29:56.320 --> 0:29:57.040
<v Speaker 1>This is a fact.

0:29:57.200 --> 0:29:59.520
<v Speaker 3>Through AOL. Then there was al Mousenger and then you connect.

0:29:59.560 --> 0:30:01.000
<v Speaker 2>You found the found one black guy and he found

0:30:01.000 --> 0:30:02.560
<v Speaker 2>the rest because I maybe had friends at a different

0:30:02.560 --> 0:30:03.520
<v Speaker 2>school and.

0:30:03.440 --> 0:30:06.280
<v Speaker 1>Then well even my boyfriend who said we I wasn't ready.

0:30:06.480 --> 0:30:08.320
<v Speaker 1>He lived in like South Central and like I met

0:30:08.400 --> 0:30:11.120
<v Speaker 1>him because I went to like a private school dance

0:30:11.200 --> 0:30:13.719
<v Speaker 1>and he went to school at Loyal or he went

0:30:13.760 --> 0:30:15.600
<v Speaker 1>to a where do you go, Pilgrim, He went to

0:30:15.640 --> 0:30:18.200
<v Speaker 1>some school and like a few of these guys that

0:30:18.520 --> 0:30:22.520
<v Speaker 1>happened to be at this dance, Carlton him, my friend

0:30:22.680 --> 0:30:24.320
<v Speaker 1>Justin who I'm still I'm still friends with all these

0:30:24.320 --> 0:30:28.840
<v Speaker 1>people because I was so desperate for black friends. That

0:30:28.880 --> 0:30:30.920
<v Speaker 1>and that's why my mom was driving me from the

0:30:31.000 --> 0:30:33.240
<v Speaker 1>valley to Howard Hughes which is by the airport, to

0:30:33.280 --> 0:30:35.320
<v Speaker 1>go hang out with my black friends because I had

0:30:35.360 --> 0:30:37.880
<v Speaker 1>none in the valley. So anyway, when I sat when

0:30:37.880 --> 0:30:40.400
<v Speaker 1>I was walking into this grocery store at my house,

0:30:40.440 --> 0:30:44.640
<v Speaker 1>and I saw this beautiful black boy sitting there like

0:30:44.720 --> 0:30:46.640
<v Speaker 1>you know, you make the eye contact, you look at

0:30:46.640 --> 0:30:49.440
<v Speaker 1>one another, and I was like, oh shit, oh my god.

0:30:50.080 --> 0:30:54.040
<v Speaker 1>He asked for my number. We exchanged numbers and that

0:30:54.200 --> 0:30:59.040
<v Speaker 1>was that. We talked, exchanged information, chatted over the over

0:30:59.240 --> 0:31:01.400
<v Speaker 1>the no not I was on the landline. My mom

0:31:01.440 --> 0:31:01.840
<v Speaker 1>was always like.

0:31:01.840 --> 0:31:06.320
<v Speaker 3>Get off the phut and I was like, okays up,

0:31:06.320 --> 0:31:06.880
<v Speaker 3>don't come back.

0:31:08.120 --> 0:31:11.560
<v Speaker 1>And I started sneaking him into my backyard because he

0:31:11.600 --> 0:31:14.120
<v Speaker 1>could just jump over the fence, and so at first

0:31:14.160 --> 0:31:16.400
<v Speaker 1>we just started kind of like making out. So he

0:31:16.480 --> 0:31:19.080
<v Speaker 1>was at an all boys school at that time. I was,

0:31:19.760 --> 0:31:21.520
<v Speaker 1>I guess I had. It was the summer right before

0:31:21.520 --> 0:31:25.240
<v Speaker 1>I started high school and he was a year older

0:31:25.280 --> 0:31:31.040
<v Speaker 1>than me, and so over time, sneaking him into the

0:31:31.080 --> 0:31:35.960
<v Speaker 1>backyard eventually led to now I'm going to give you head,

0:31:36.200 --> 0:31:39.200
<v Speaker 1>and so I gave him head. I had no idea

0:31:39.320 --> 0:31:42.360
<v Speaker 1>what the fuck I was doing, just I think I well,

0:31:42.440 --> 0:31:44.720
<v Speaker 1>maybe I did because I watched so much porn at

0:31:44.760 --> 0:31:47.640
<v Speaker 1>my friend's house that I was actually maybe loki an expert.

0:31:48.320 --> 0:31:50.520
<v Speaker 1>But the I remember telling him like, I'm ready to

0:31:50.560 --> 0:31:53.280
<v Speaker 1>lose my virginity. And so we planned it and he

0:31:53.760 --> 0:31:58.280
<v Speaker 1>came into my backyard. My nanny was home, or my

0:31:58.320 --> 0:32:01.880
<v Speaker 1>housekeeper was home, but I knew that she was never

0:32:01.920 --> 0:32:03.680
<v Speaker 1>going to come outside and come in the backyard. And

0:32:03.720 --> 0:32:07.240
<v Speaker 1>we went into this shed and I lost my virginity

0:32:07.520 --> 0:32:11.480
<v Speaker 1>on this like wooden, dirty ass table in my backyard

0:32:11.480 --> 0:32:14.760
<v Speaker 1>when my parents were at work. And it lasted for

0:32:14.840 --> 0:32:19.800
<v Speaker 1>all of like three minutes, and I remember it feeling uncomfortable,

0:32:19.840 --> 0:32:22.360
<v Speaker 1>but didn't hurt as much as like I anticipated it hurting.

0:32:23.000 --> 0:32:24.880
<v Speaker 1>And then it was over, and then he jumped over

0:32:24.920 --> 0:32:28.200
<v Speaker 1>the fence and that was that. And then he remember

0:32:28.280 --> 0:32:32.000
<v Speaker 1>him calling me and asking me if I was a virgin,

0:32:32.120 --> 0:32:33.960
<v Speaker 1>like if I was really a virgin, And I was like,

0:32:33.960 --> 0:32:35.560
<v Speaker 1>what do you mean. He's like, well, you didn't bleed.

0:32:36.280 --> 0:32:39.760
<v Speaker 1>And I was like, okay, I don't know. He's like, well,

0:32:39.800 --> 0:32:42.320
<v Speaker 1>you're supposed to bleed, and I was like the myths

0:32:42.320 --> 0:32:45.080
<v Speaker 1>the children here right. And then he said, and you

0:32:45.120 --> 0:32:46.880
<v Speaker 1>seem like you knew what you were doing. That's what

0:32:46.880 --> 0:32:47.400
<v Speaker 1>he said.

0:32:47.200 --> 0:32:48.120
<v Speaker 3>I wait for thisment.

0:32:48.680 --> 0:32:50.720
<v Speaker 1>You knew what you were doing. And I was like, well, nigga,

0:32:50.760 --> 0:32:54.280
<v Speaker 1>I've been watching porn for three years. But also I

0:32:54.320 --> 0:32:56.800
<v Speaker 1>felt like ashamed. I was like, was I supposed to bleed?

0:32:56.920 --> 0:32:59.320
<v Speaker 1>Like is my pussy broken? Like I don't know, And

0:32:59.400 --> 0:33:01.200
<v Speaker 1>at that point of course, I'd never looked at the

0:33:01.200 --> 0:33:03.640
<v Speaker 1>pussy ever and like getting a finger bringing in the sauna.

0:33:04.160 --> 0:33:06.400
<v Speaker 1>Maybe I bleed bled but I don't remember ever bleeding.

0:33:06.440 --> 0:33:09.200
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I guess I didn't have Maybe my

0:33:09.360 --> 0:33:13.720
<v Speaker 1>time broke hymen my hymen. I haven't heard that word,

0:33:14.160 --> 0:33:16.280
<v Speaker 1>my hymen. It's one of those things you hear a

0:33:16.320 --> 0:33:19.280
<v Speaker 1>lot around the time where you're gonna lose your virginity so.

0:33:19.360 --> 0:33:20.880
<v Speaker 3>Much, and now as an adult, like what the fuck

0:33:20.960 --> 0:33:21.200
<v Speaker 3>is that?

0:33:21.240 --> 0:33:25.880
<v Speaker 1>I am no, but that was my virginity story. And

0:33:25.920 --> 0:33:29.120
<v Speaker 1>then I remember, like my mom reading my journal, I

0:33:29.160 --> 0:33:32.600
<v Speaker 1>know you have a lot of trauma, trauma, and I

0:33:32.600 --> 0:33:35.400
<v Speaker 1>guess I said, I mentioned that I lost my virginity,

0:33:35.400 --> 0:33:37.040
<v Speaker 1>and then she asked me about it and I lied,

0:33:37.080 --> 0:33:38.640
<v Speaker 1>and then she like tried to make me go to

0:33:38.640 --> 0:33:40.840
<v Speaker 1>the gynecologist. I'm not tried. She made me go to

0:33:40.880 --> 0:33:43.800
<v Speaker 1>the gynocologist, and like I knew she was trying to

0:33:43.800 --> 0:33:47.040
<v Speaker 1>like investigate whether my hymen was broken or not, and

0:33:47.080 --> 0:33:49.200
<v Speaker 1>I refused to go in.

0:33:49.440 --> 0:33:51.680
<v Speaker 2>You know, they're like, you know, your friends, like they

0:33:51.680 --> 0:33:53.479
<v Speaker 2>can't tell your mom, it's top secret.

0:33:53.520 --> 0:33:56.080
<v Speaker 1>Like again they did, they did say that. All my

0:33:56.080 --> 0:33:57.960
<v Speaker 1>friends did say that, and but I was like, I'm

0:33:58.000 --> 0:34:00.560
<v Speaker 1>not going in there. I'm not. We went to this

0:34:00.680 --> 0:34:03.200
<v Speaker 1>Beverly Hills fucking doctor. I'll never forget. It was bougie

0:34:03.200 --> 0:34:06.440
<v Speaker 1>ass office and I was like nope. And I just

0:34:06.480 --> 0:34:07.360
<v Speaker 1>sat there and I was.

0:34:07.280 --> 0:34:09.040
<v Speaker 3>Like, she would wouldn't go in the you would.

0:34:09.360 --> 0:34:10.200
<v Speaker 1>She couldn't force me.

0:34:10.400 --> 0:34:13.040
<v Speaker 2>You just sat in the waiting room the doctor and

0:34:13.040 --> 0:34:15.840
<v Speaker 2>then we just left er dis yep, and you just

0:34:16.280 --> 0:34:17.080
<v Speaker 2>and I sat there.

0:34:17.200 --> 0:34:19.400
<v Speaker 1>Oh, this is stubborn as fuck. I was like, I

0:34:19.440 --> 0:34:20.520
<v Speaker 1>am not going in there.

0:34:20.600 --> 0:34:21.920
<v Speaker 3>It's just a regular check out yep.

0:34:21.960 --> 0:34:23.479
<v Speaker 1>And I was like, You're not gonna fool me, bitch.

0:34:23.760 --> 0:34:27.160
<v Speaker 1>Uh ah, this nigga? Are you told me that car

0:34:27.239 --> 0:34:28.760
<v Speaker 1>ride home was not good?

0:34:30.000 --> 0:34:30.480
<v Speaker 3>Wow?

0:34:31.239 --> 0:34:34.920
<v Speaker 1>And that's my virginity story, a.

0:34:34.960 --> 0:34:37.680
<v Speaker 3>Little freak my virginity story. Wow.

0:34:37.719 --> 0:34:40.160
<v Speaker 2>I feel like I had some confusion around mind that

0:34:40.200 --> 0:34:44.399
<v Speaker 2>I'm sorting through. I started like doing weird shit and

0:34:44.480 --> 0:34:49.400
<v Speaker 2>like humping friends at a very young age, probably like six,

0:34:49.640 --> 0:34:52.399
<v Speaker 2>which is very fucking strange to say out loud because

0:34:52.400 --> 0:34:54.360
<v Speaker 2>I have a six year old daughter who's like not

0:34:54.680 --> 0:34:59.799
<v Speaker 2>humping anything, Thank God Jesus. I also realized that I

0:34:59.840 --> 0:35:03.600
<v Speaker 2>was around other cousins and friends that had sexual abuse

0:35:03.719 --> 0:35:06.520
<v Speaker 2>and that they were showing me things. And so I

0:35:06.640 --> 0:35:10.040
<v Speaker 2>was molested by older cousin And I was molested like

0:35:10.360 --> 0:35:14.080
<v Speaker 2>as a really young child too, at like three or four,

0:35:14.200 --> 0:35:16.640
<v Speaker 2>by an older boy who lived down the way from

0:35:16.640 --> 0:35:17.680
<v Speaker 2>my grandmother's house.

0:35:17.800 --> 0:35:19.400
<v Speaker 3>And I told my mom. But I remember being like

0:35:19.440 --> 0:35:20.120
<v Speaker 3>this huge deal.

0:35:20.440 --> 0:35:23.400
<v Speaker 2>Whatever the whole thing is, I can't pinpoint if my

0:35:23.480 --> 0:35:29.280
<v Speaker 2>freakness came. Probably it's natural. Probably came naturally. I'm a

0:35:29.320 --> 0:35:31.759
<v Speaker 2>freaky ass bitch, but I think it was heightened and

0:35:31.800 --> 0:35:34.840
<v Speaker 2>it came too early because of those experiences. And so

0:35:34.960 --> 0:35:37.800
<v Speaker 2>at like six or seven or eight, I was finding

0:35:37.800 --> 0:35:41.319
<v Speaker 2>my parents porn humping a lot of shit, lots of

0:35:41.320 --> 0:35:44.560
<v Speaker 2>pillows were being humped. And by the time I was

0:35:44.680 --> 0:35:50.240
<v Speaker 2>like twelve or thirteen, again everyone's having this conversation about sex.

0:35:50.400 --> 0:35:52.040
<v Speaker 2>I remember writing in my journal I went to a

0:35:52.120 --> 0:35:54.719
<v Speaker 2>Lutheran school because my parents made me change from public

0:35:54.760 --> 0:35:57.440
<v Speaker 2>school to Lutheran school, which was like the worst thing

0:35:57.440 --> 0:36:01.280
<v Speaker 2>of my life. Like I was drawing pictures on the refrigerator.

0:36:00.880 --> 0:36:03.320
<v Speaker 3>Like I hate school here, like it was intense.

0:36:04.280 --> 0:36:06.440
<v Speaker 2>I wrote in my journal that I was ready to

0:36:06.480 --> 0:36:09.320
<v Speaker 2>graduate from finger banging from sucking.

0:36:09.360 --> 0:36:10.480
<v Speaker 3>I think I don't know if I was ready to

0:36:10.520 --> 0:36:11.120
<v Speaker 3>graduate from.

0:36:10.960 --> 0:36:13.000
<v Speaker 2>Titty sucking to finger banging, if I was ready to

0:36:13.000 --> 0:36:14.399
<v Speaker 2>graduate from fingerbanging to fucking.

0:36:14.440 --> 0:36:15.719
<v Speaker 3>I was ready to get it going.

0:36:17.200 --> 0:36:20.880
<v Speaker 2>And much like Erica, I was sneaking boys into my

0:36:21.000 --> 0:36:24.480
<v Speaker 2>room after football games on Friday nights.

0:36:24.880 --> 0:36:26.520
<v Speaker 3>Helen niggas would come to my house.

0:36:26.600 --> 0:36:29.040
<v Speaker 2>Because my parents were so smart, they gave me a

0:36:29.080 --> 0:36:32.279
<v Speaker 2>bedroom that had a door to the front outside.

0:36:31.800 --> 0:36:34.560
<v Speaker 3>World the door and to the house. Why the fuck

0:36:34.600 --> 0:36:36.920
<v Speaker 3>would you give a teenage girl a room that has

0:36:36.960 --> 0:36:38.960
<v Speaker 3>a door to the outside. I don't know.

0:36:39.680 --> 0:36:41.759
<v Speaker 2>I was sneaking boys in. I got caught twice. Then

0:36:41.800 --> 0:36:45.440
<v Speaker 2>I became a Christian. I was crying about it. Then

0:36:45.440 --> 0:36:47.760
<v Speaker 2>I fell in love with like two niggas. My baby daddy,

0:36:47.800 --> 0:36:50.360
<v Speaker 2>who I've known since I was thirteen, and this other nigga.

0:36:50.840 --> 0:36:54.000
<v Speaker 2>And I remember being at a cousin's house and her

0:36:54.040 --> 0:36:55.760
<v Speaker 2>older brother was there with some friend.

0:36:55.880 --> 0:36:59.000
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god, his name is Darwin, and he was cute, but.

0:36:58.960 --> 0:37:00.640
<v Speaker 2>He had like a lot of acne and we like

0:37:00.719 --> 0:37:03.320
<v Speaker 2>went into the room and like I was like humping

0:37:03.400 --> 0:37:06.240
<v Speaker 2>him and it felt good, and then he like stuck

0:37:06.280 --> 0:37:08.040
<v Speaker 2>it in and like we did it, and then I

0:37:08.080 --> 0:37:09.759
<v Speaker 2>was immediately I.

0:37:09.719 --> 0:37:12.040
<v Speaker 3>Was like, oh, this is not special at all. I

0:37:12.080 --> 0:37:12.759
<v Speaker 3>don't know him.

0:37:12.840 --> 0:37:15.239
<v Speaker 2>There's actually niggas I love. Why did I do this?

0:37:15.360 --> 0:37:17.719
<v Speaker 2>And I was like crying and he didn't know me

0:37:17.760 --> 0:37:19.719
<v Speaker 2>at all. He was looking at me like, bitch, are

0:37:19.760 --> 0:37:20.440
<v Speaker 2>you okay?

0:37:21.080 --> 0:37:23.160
<v Speaker 3>And I was like I didn't want to lost my

0:37:23.239 --> 0:37:23.960
<v Speaker 3>virginity like this.

0:37:24.480 --> 0:37:27.560
<v Speaker 2>But then like fifteen minutes later we started humping again

0:37:27.560 --> 0:37:30.759
<v Speaker 2>because he consoled me. What a nice stranger, and then

0:37:30.800 --> 0:37:33.000
<v Speaker 2>I was like wanted to do it again. So I

0:37:33.040 --> 0:37:38.200
<v Speaker 2>would say that my virginity and my sexual appetite started

0:37:38.440 --> 0:37:41.480
<v Speaker 2>very much in confusion. And I can understand this now

0:37:41.520 --> 0:37:43.960
<v Speaker 2>as an adult that like I've had a lot of

0:37:43.960 --> 0:37:46.440
<v Speaker 2>conflict between like my pussy feeling good and like my

0:37:46.520 --> 0:37:49.479
<v Speaker 2>mind saying no, And so as an adult that's kind

0:37:49.480 --> 0:37:53.160
<v Speaker 2>of trickled along, and I probably for sure had some trauma.

0:37:53.320 --> 0:37:56.080
<v Speaker 2>So that was like my official virginity losing. But I

0:37:56.120 --> 0:37:58.160
<v Speaker 2>never told anyone because I was too embarrassed, and also

0:37:58.160 --> 0:38:01.000
<v Speaker 2>I was confused, why did I do it again. Why

0:38:01.000 --> 0:38:03.320
<v Speaker 2>did I say I want cry do it again? Because

0:38:03.360 --> 0:38:05.480
<v Speaker 2>like my body and my mind were like in conflict.

0:38:06.000 --> 0:38:09.000
<v Speaker 2>I later had sex with one of I can't remember

0:38:09.000 --> 0:38:10.720
<v Speaker 2>it was my baby daddy or the other one who

0:38:10.800 --> 0:38:14.080
<v Speaker 2>happened first. They both got got though and I was

0:38:14.160 --> 0:38:17.719
<v Speaker 2>turned out immediately. Like I remember wearing lingerie under my

0:38:17.760 --> 0:38:20.640
<v Speaker 2>school uniform. I like my mom would like pass down

0:38:20.680 --> 0:38:22.279
<v Speaker 2>to me. My mom was like had a Victoria's to

0:38:22.280 --> 0:38:23.680
<v Speaker 2>get credit cards, so she did have a bunch of

0:38:23.719 --> 0:38:25.960
<v Speaker 2>gang is shit over there. I worn'der in my uniform,

0:38:26.040 --> 0:38:28.040
<v Speaker 2>take the bus to see this niggat and like we're

0:38:28.200 --> 0:38:28.920
<v Speaker 2>sexy outfits.

0:38:28.920 --> 0:38:29.520
<v Speaker 3>We were fucking.

0:38:30.239 --> 0:38:32.640
<v Speaker 2>I started fucking my baby daddy and that took place

0:38:32.640 --> 0:38:36.320
<v Speaker 2>in various places, the front yard, the car, dressing rooms

0:38:36.320 --> 0:38:41.480
<v Speaker 2>at the mall, the park, recreation rooms, lots of places.

0:38:41.880 --> 0:38:44.399
<v Speaker 3>And then when I turned, I was turned out. Once

0:38:44.400 --> 0:38:47.440
<v Speaker 3>I had sex, it was can you not call yourself turned?

0:38:47.640 --> 0:38:47.960
<v Speaker 1>I was?

0:38:48.200 --> 0:38:51.840
<v Speaker 2>There was a wrap like I was fucking and so

0:38:52.000 --> 0:38:54.600
<v Speaker 2>much so that I met a porn star when I

0:38:54.640 --> 0:38:55.520
<v Speaker 2>was like sixteen.

0:38:55.840 --> 0:38:58.040
<v Speaker 3>This is like the peak of my meat getting turned out.

0:38:58.400 --> 0:39:01.520
<v Speaker 2>And he had a white mom was aati so la

0:39:01.719 --> 0:39:03.480
<v Speaker 2>hit a white mass rioting, and we got his number

0:39:03.520 --> 0:39:05.120
<v Speaker 2>and he came and got us in another car.

0:39:05.160 --> 0:39:07.600
<v Speaker 3>He had a range Rover. Where the fuck are my parents?

0:39:07.680 --> 0:39:08.040
<v Speaker 3>Don't know?

0:39:08.640 --> 0:39:10.160
<v Speaker 2>Pulled up to my front of my house. Me and

0:39:10.239 --> 0:39:13.360
<v Speaker 2>my cousin Sheena got in. She was like significantly older

0:39:13.400 --> 0:39:15.799
<v Speaker 2>than me, and we get in the car. At this point,

0:39:15.840 --> 0:39:17.200
<v Speaker 2>I didn't know he was a porn star. I don't

0:39:17.320 --> 0:39:19.239
<v Speaker 2>really know porn stars, but like when I as I

0:39:19.239 --> 0:39:20.759
<v Speaker 2>grew up, because we're still friends, he was like a

0:39:20.840 --> 0:39:25.160
<v Speaker 2>huge porn star at the time, Justin's Slayer. And I

0:39:25.160 --> 0:39:27.120
<v Speaker 2>got in the front seat, all young, I don't know,

0:39:27.160 --> 0:39:28.799
<v Speaker 2>and he's like, y'all look young, let me see you ID.

0:39:28.880 --> 0:39:30.000
<v Speaker 2>Of course I had a fake ID and I just

0:39:30.040 --> 0:39:32.120
<v Speaker 2>kept like brushing it aside, like I go to Valley.

0:39:31.840 --> 0:39:36.480
<v Speaker 3>College, like I'm an adult lives and he was.

0:39:36.680 --> 0:39:37.960
<v Speaker 2>I was like, do you have a girlfriend, because I

0:39:37.960 --> 0:39:40.720
<v Speaker 2>thought I was so mature and grown, and he was like, baby,

0:39:40.719 --> 0:39:42.480
<v Speaker 2>I got a lot of girlfriends. Do you want one?

0:39:42.880 --> 0:39:45.480
<v Speaker 2>And literally my heart melted. I was like that must

0:39:45.480 --> 0:39:46.799
<v Speaker 2>have been when I knew I was a ethical slight.

0:39:46.840 --> 0:39:48.560
<v Speaker 2>I just didn't know the word for it. And I

0:39:48.600 --> 0:39:53.000
<v Speaker 2>was like, huh, And he proceeded to take us to

0:39:53.640 --> 0:39:56.880
<v Speaker 2>some sex parties. I was a junior in high school,

0:39:58.120 --> 0:40:00.919
<v Speaker 2>and honestly, from there it was a rap. Like I

0:40:00.960 --> 0:40:05.200
<v Speaker 2>did a lot of sex between sixteen and now, and

0:40:05.440 --> 0:40:07.759
<v Speaker 2>a lot of it in my twenties. I realize, A,

0:40:07.880 --> 0:40:10.319
<v Speaker 2>I don't remember. B. There was times where I'd be

0:40:10.360 --> 0:40:13.919
<v Speaker 2>like sucking dick and my head was like facing out,

0:40:14.000 --> 0:40:15.719
<v Speaker 2>like I didn't want to see the person's face at

0:40:15.719 --> 0:40:19.000
<v Speaker 2>all because I have trauma. And there's sometimes I didn't

0:40:19.000 --> 0:40:20.479
<v Speaker 2>want to do stuff, and I mean, I'm a woman,

0:40:20.520 --> 0:40:21.920
<v Speaker 2>this happens to all of us. I didn't want to

0:40:21.960 --> 0:40:23.319
<v Speaker 2>do it, then I would do it. Then they get

0:40:23.360 --> 0:40:25.279
<v Speaker 2>kept saying please, yeah, come on, please, please the head

0:40:25.280 --> 0:40:27.399
<v Speaker 2>come on. I'm like, oh, fine, fuck it, I'm here.

0:40:27.440 --> 0:40:30.960
<v Speaker 2>It's my fault. All these like shame and like weird

0:40:31.040 --> 0:40:33.120
<v Speaker 2>things that I no one talked to me about. My

0:40:33.160 --> 0:40:35.880
<v Speaker 2>mom found birth control and I was like thirteen, yelled

0:40:35.920 --> 0:40:37.680
<v Speaker 2>at me, didn't say, are you having sets?

0:40:37.719 --> 0:40:39.319
<v Speaker 3>Let's talk about it, screamed at me.

0:40:39.800 --> 0:40:41.680
<v Speaker 2>I got an abortion by one of those not my

0:40:41.680 --> 0:40:43.200
<v Speaker 2>baby daddy, but the other guy that I was in

0:40:43.239 --> 0:40:46.080
<v Speaker 2>love with. And I went to Catholic school, so I

0:40:46.120 --> 0:40:48.480
<v Speaker 2>wasn't allowed to miss school. They called my mom couldn't

0:40:48.480 --> 0:40:50.840
<v Speaker 2>find me. She ended up picking me up from the clinic.

0:40:51.560 --> 0:40:54.200
<v Speaker 2>This was traumatizing. She was like, maybe I should put

0:40:54.200 --> 0:40:56.120
<v Speaker 2>her business. This was not a good mom moment. And

0:40:56.160 --> 0:40:57.719
<v Speaker 2>in fact, I brought this up as an adult and

0:40:57.760 --> 0:41:01.719
<v Speaker 2>she denies it, but I'll never forget. She was like,

0:41:01.760 --> 0:41:04.440
<v Speaker 2>you think it's cute to sow your baby in the trash.

0:41:05.440 --> 0:41:07.359
<v Speaker 3>I was like, this is why I do. I'll tell you.

0:41:07.360 --> 0:41:08.760
<v Speaker 1>Anything, my God.

0:41:09.560 --> 0:41:14.040
<v Speaker 3>So that happened, and I just was wild. I just

0:41:14.239 --> 0:41:14.840
<v Speaker 3>liked sex.

0:41:15.000 --> 0:41:17.840
<v Speaker 2>And I remember liking sex, and I remember being turned up.

0:41:17.760 --> 0:41:19.160
<v Speaker 3>And just me too.

0:41:19.160 --> 0:41:22.840
<v Speaker 1>I remember after well, my heart was broken because Kyle

0:41:23.520 --> 0:41:26.120
<v Speaker 1>didn't thought you were Kyle was also he was a hoe,

0:41:26.239 --> 0:41:28.600
<v Speaker 1>So the guy was my Virginia too. He was also

0:41:28.600 --> 0:41:32.799
<v Speaker 1>a scorpio Scorpio metatrash. He was a hoe and he

0:41:32.960 --> 0:41:35.960
<v Speaker 1>was like the hoe of the all girls school Louisville,

0:41:36.600 --> 0:41:38.680
<v Speaker 1>and he was fucking all these girls. Also he's fucking

0:41:38.719 --> 0:41:40.320
<v Speaker 1>a lot of white girls, which is probably why trauma

0:41:40.400 --> 0:41:42.439
<v Speaker 1>when it comes to like black men choosing white women

0:41:42.480 --> 0:41:44.239
<v Speaker 1>over me, I'm like get very upset by it.

0:41:44.680 --> 0:41:46.320
<v Speaker 3>I have that trauma because my mom used.

0:41:46.160 --> 0:41:48.960
<v Speaker 1>To say that a lot to my dad m and

0:41:49.400 --> 0:41:51.160
<v Speaker 1>after that I was like, well fuck you, And so

0:41:51.239 --> 0:41:52.560
<v Speaker 1>that I was like, well, I'm about to just go

0:41:52.680 --> 0:41:57.000
<v Speaker 1>fucking explore all my whnus And so I did, like

0:41:57.040 --> 0:41:59.360
<v Speaker 1>and I think about like high school sex, like there

0:41:59.400 --> 0:42:01.319
<v Speaker 1>weren't a lot of play sais to fuck. So like

0:42:01.400 --> 0:42:03.839
<v Speaker 1>you're fucking in closets, you're fucking in movie theaters, You're

0:42:03.880 --> 0:42:06.839
<v Speaker 1>fucking in like the most rant, You're fucking rooms with

0:42:06.960 --> 0:42:07.880
<v Speaker 1>multiple friends.

0:42:07.880 --> 0:42:08.719
<v Speaker 3>Oh yeah, I've done that.

0:42:08.920 --> 0:42:12.120
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, there's like seven people in one room

0:42:12.480 --> 0:42:14.680
<v Speaker 1>having sex. That's so crazy.

0:42:14.840 --> 0:42:17.960
<v Speaker 3>I can't wait to disgusting, weird, fucking gross.

0:42:18.000 --> 0:42:20.000
<v Speaker 1>And because we didn't even know like three somes were

0:42:20.000 --> 0:42:21.920
<v Speaker 1>an option, at least I didn't. It was just it

0:42:21.960 --> 0:42:24.239
<v Speaker 1>was all separately. It was all separately. It wasn't like

0:42:24.280 --> 0:42:25.200
<v Speaker 1>some yeah not through.

0:42:26.760 --> 0:42:28.160
<v Speaker 3>I mean, I guess I knew I went to a

0:42:28.200 --> 0:42:29.080
<v Speaker 3>sex party.

0:42:28.920 --> 0:42:31.160
<v Speaker 1>But I think about all the things that I did

0:42:31.239 --> 0:42:33.279
<v Speaker 1>and all the sneaking that I did, and all the

0:42:33.440 --> 0:42:37.719
<v Speaker 1>lying that I did, and just manipulations for sex that

0:42:37.840 --> 0:42:41.279
<v Speaker 1>I wasn't even really was I even enjoying myself? Like

0:42:41.960 --> 0:42:46.080
<v Speaker 1>who knows, Like no, probably not. And I just feel

0:42:46.120 --> 0:42:51.160
<v Speaker 1>like now as a parent, I talking about consent with

0:42:51.200 --> 0:42:54.960
<v Speaker 1>our kids, talking about your own self pleasure with our kids.

0:42:55.239 --> 0:42:57.720
<v Speaker 1>I mean, even that episode that we had with Michelle Hope,

0:42:57.760 --> 0:42:59.840
<v Speaker 1>who if you guys haven't listened to, the episode is

0:42:59.840 --> 0:43:02.680
<v Speaker 1>called Masturbation Matters. We did it last month, such an

0:43:02.680 --> 0:43:06.279
<v Speaker 1>important conversation. She was talking about giving vibrators to teenagers

0:43:06.560 --> 0:43:09.759
<v Speaker 1>so that they can explore their own sexual pleasure, so

0:43:09.920 --> 0:43:13.480
<v Speaker 1>they understand what that feels like before having sex with

0:43:13.520 --> 0:43:15.400
<v Speaker 1>someone else. That's going to define what your pleasure is

0:43:15.400 --> 0:43:17.960
<v Speaker 1>supposed to feel. Like like I had no concept of

0:43:17.960 --> 0:43:20.919
<v Speaker 1>what my sexual pleasure was until I was well into

0:43:20.920 --> 0:43:21.480
<v Speaker 1>my twenties.

0:43:22.160 --> 0:43:24.120
<v Speaker 2>Uh. I mean, I feel like that just came, like

0:43:24.200 --> 0:43:27.279
<v Speaker 2>honestly recently and honestly, like my parents didn't talk to

0:43:27.280 --> 0:43:30.080
<v Speaker 2>me about shit, but by the time.

0:43:30.480 --> 0:43:32.520
<v Speaker 3>So I've known my baby daddy for many, many.

0:43:32.400 --> 0:43:34.399
<v Speaker 2>Years and he was my high school speak art, he's

0:43:34.440 --> 0:43:36.480
<v Speaker 2>high school boyfriend. Like after I sledd it around, I

0:43:36.560 --> 0:43:38.759
<v Speaker 2>was probably still slutting around at the end. He just

0:43:38.840 --> 0:43:40.719
<v Speaker 2>loved me, even though I'm sure he knew I was

0:43:40.840 --> 0:43:46.440
<v Speaker 2>being wild. My parents would like for proms, and I

0:43:46.480 --> 0:43:49.439
<v Speaker 2>went to like every prom junior year, senior year, sophomore year.

0:43:49.520 --> 0:43:51.200
<v Speaker 2>They would get us a room, and my mom took

0:43:51.239 --> 0:43:52.799
<v Speaker 2>me to get my pussy wax, so I don't. It

0:43:52.840 --> 0:43:55.480
<v Speaker 2>was very confusing, and even like by the time I

0:43:55.560 --> 0:43:57.680
<v Speaker 2>was a senior in high school, he was allowed to

0:43:57.719 --> 0:44:01.160
<v Speaker 2>sleep over. And I'm like, first we would like sleep

0:44:01.200 --> 0:44:02.759
<v Speaker 2>in the living room, one on the floor, one.

0:44:02.680 --> 0:44:04.360
<v Speaker 3>On the couch, then we move to like the office.

0:44:04.400 --> 0:44:06.239
<v Speaker 2>Then eventually by the time I went to college, I

0:44:06.239 --> 0:44:08.400
<v Speaker 2>remember like he could sleep in my room, in my

0:44:08.440 --> 0:44:10.719
<v Speaker 2>bed with the door open, which is if black people

0:44:10.719 --> 0:44:13.239
<v Speaker 2>are listening, like this is some white people shit. But

0:44:13.280 --> 0:44:15.080
<v Speaker 2>even at his house, his parents wouldn't let asleep in

0:44:15.080 --> 0:44:16.400
<v Speaker 2>the same room. But I think at that point my

0:44:16.440 --> 0:44:18.719
<v Speaker 2>parents are just like fuck it, Like Lisa's the same.

0:44:18.680 --> 0:44:21.320
<v Speaker 1>Nigga, what do you think that? How would you navigate

0:44:21.320 --> 0:44:21.960
<v Speaker 1>that with Luna?

0:44:22.000 --> 0:44:23.759
<v Speaker 3>First of all, I would navigate it completely different. We're

0:44:23.760 --> 0:44:24.919
<v Speaker 3>gonna have conversations.

0:44:25.000 --> 0:44:26.960
<v Speaker 2>You're not gonna be pressed because we're gonna have conversations

0:44:27.000 --> 0:44:31.319
<v Speaker 2>about it, about consent, about pleasure, about self pleasure, and honestly, like,

0:44:31.360 --> 0:44:33.239
<v Speaker 2>I don't want my kid fucking at the park like

0:44:33.280 --> 0:44:35.080
<v Speaker 2>I was doing. I don't want my kid to feel

0:44:35.080 --> 0:44:37.440
<v Speaker 2>like she can't talk me about it because bitch I've been.

0:44:37.320 --> 0:44:40.080
<v Speaker 3>Done at all. You know what does he say done

0:44:40.120 --> 0:44:42.399
<v Speaker 3>done at all? That's me. I've done it and there's

0:44:42.440 --> 0:44:43.319
<v Speaker 3>nothing you can't tell me.

0:44:43.400 --> 0:44:45.879
<v Speaker 2>And like, kids are gonna fuck, so I would much

0:44:46.000 --> 0:44:48.040
<v Speaker 2>rather like I'm not gonna like everybody come here and

0:44:48.080 --> 0:44:50.080
<v Speaker 2>fuck at my house, but honestly, like you don't need

0:44:50.120 --> 0:44:52.040
<v Speaker 2>to fuck in a fifty dollars hotel room with four

0:44:52.040 --> 0:44:55.560
<v Speaker 2>other couples. Okay, just call me and just you know,

0:44:55.640 --> 0:44:57.360
<v Speaker 2>I just want be real about it, like if you

0:44:57.560 --> 0:44:59.440
<v Speaker 2>need birth control, if you want to talk about it, like,

0:44:59.520 --> 0:45:03.880
<v Speaker 2>let's talk about it, because I'd rather that discomfort my mom. Obviously,

0:45:03.880 --> 0:45:05.840
<v Speaker 2>it's not her fault. She came from a place, like

0:45:05.880 --> 0:45:09.000
<v Speaker 2>her parents were significantly older for her age, so she

0:45:09.120 --> 0:45:10.880
<v Speaker 2>came from a whole different time she lived. She grew

0:45:10.960 --> 0:45:14.080
<v Speaker 2>up in Philadelphia, Like she didn't know you know that

0:45:14.120 --> 0:45:16.520
<v Speaker 2>this is something you could talk I think parents think

0:45:16.560 --> 0:45:18.200
<v Speaker 2>if you've talked to your kids about sex.

0:45:17.960 --> 0:45:20.759
<v Speaker 3>You're encouraging them to do it. And that's just not realistic.

0:45:20.800 --> 0:45:23.960
<v Speaker 2>Like you're going to discover that feeling, slash the orgasm

0:45:24.040 --> 0:45:26.280
<v Speaker 2>at some point, and so let's just talk about it.

0:45:26.280 --> 0:45:28.200
<v Speaker 1>You know what. It's so funny and the other day,

0:45:28.239 --> 0:45:30.120
<v Speaker 1>I was, you know, me and Iri, we always are

0:45:30.160 --> 0:45:32.440
<v Speaker 1>talking about her body parts and how like I was

0:45:32.480 --> 0:45:35.440
<v Speaker 1>always I was telling her. I've been showing her consistently

0:45:35.520 --> 0:45:37.960
<v Speaker 1>how to clean her vagina and like in the shower

0:45:38.200 --> 0:45:40.200
<v Speaker 1>and like I was cleaning her, I was helping her,

0:45:40.239 --> 0:45:42.400
<v Speaker 1>and she was like, ooh, that feels good. And I

0:45:42.520 --> 0:45:45.840
<v Speaker 1>was like no, no oh. I was like, oh god,

0:45:46.320 --> 0:45:48.879
<v Speaker 1>and I was like and I didn't say anything because

0:45:48.920 --> 0:45:50.960
<v Speaker 1>I it was it was such a casual moment that

0:45:50.960 --> 0:45:53.239
<v Speaker 1>didn't need to be acknowledged per se. But the fact

0:45:53.280 --> 0:45:54.919
<v Speaker 1>that she said that, I was like, oh shit.

0:45:55.400 --> 0:45:56.399
<v Speaker 3>She's just like, yeah, it does.

0:45:56.920 --> 0:45:59.919
<v Speaker 1>She knows she feels pleasure. She knows what that feel

0:46:00.239 --> 0:46:03.719
<v Speaker 1>like and right. But like, as a parent, it's not

0:46:03.800 --> 0:46:06.680
<v Speaker 1>something that like I think as parents, we think there's

0:46:06.760 --> 0:46:10.239
<v Speaker 1>certain time frames that things are supposed to happen. And

0:46:10.280 --> 0:46:13.839
<v Speaker 1>I think that's why parents often wait, like Okay, well

0:46:13.920 --> 0:46:16.279
<v Speaker 1>I'll talk to my daughter about sex when she's like fourteen,

0:46:16.800 --> 0:46:19.080
<v Speaker 1>and then she'll have sex when maybe she's like eighteen.

0:46:19.200 --> 0:46:23.520
<v Speaker 2>We've socialized, like socially, we've socialized certain things, and I

0:46:23.560 --> 0:46:27.360
<v Speaker 2>think we think pleasure is like sexual pleasure has to

0:46:27.400 --> 0:46:32.239
<v Speaker 2>include another person. But sexuality and sex are not like

0:46:32.320 --> 0:46:34.520
<v Speaker 2>it's not the same, and we have to acknowledge that,

0:46:34.600 --> 0:46:39.080
<v Speaker 2>like there's sexuality just then that we inherently have solo

0:46:39.440 --> 0:46:41.400
<v Speaker 2>and you have to address it, like it's dumb to

0:46:41.600 --> 0:46:44.680
<v Speaker 2>take away the pleasure in all things because if I

0:46:44.760 --> 0:46:45.759
<v Speaker 2>touch you, you're gonna.

0:46:45.480 --> 0:46:46.200
<v Speaker 1>Feel it, you know.

0:46:46.360 --> 0:46:49.600
<v Speaker 2>And it's just like we sexualize children, and we sexualize

0:46:49.640 --> 0:46:52.120
<v Speaker 2>any type of intimacy, and we sexualize any type of

0:46:52.120 --> 0:46:54.960
<v Speaker 2>intimate pleasure, and those two need to be separated.

0:46:55.000 --> 0:46:57.040
<v Speaker 1>I mean, yeah, like even her say it felt good?

0:46:57.320 --> 0:47:03.480
<v Speaker 1>Was it? Like her being sexual? IS's simply acknowledging her body,

0:47:03.520 --> 0:47:08.440
<v Speaker 1>which is a sexual body, and the sensation of pleasure.

0:47:08.560 --> 0:47:10.800
<v Speaker 2>And that's why I think it's so important as parents,

0:47:10.840 --> 0:47:13.960
<v Speaker 2>as people, as adults that we stop sexualizing children and

0:47:14.120 --> 0:47:16.400
<v Speaker 2>literally we stop sexualizing.

0:47:15.760 --> 0:47:18.080
<v Speaker 3>Just everything because your conditioned.

0:47:17.600 --> 0:47:21.000
<v Speaker 2>To believe that, and like reevaluate how you approach sex,

0:47:21.040 --> 0:47:23.560
<v Speaker 2>how you approach sexuality even in your grown ass selves.

0:47:23.640 --> 0:47:25.680
<v Speaker 2>You know, like I've said this four hundred times. You know,

0:47:25.680 --> 0:47:27.840
<v Speaker 2>a bitch's titties come out at any party. If the

0:47:27.880 --> 0:47:30.680
<v Speaker 2>heat goes over eighty two degrees, my shirt comes off,

0:47:30.719 --> 0:47:32.840
<v Speaker 2>and no matter who's around, if I'm in a comfortable,

0:47:32.880 --> 0:47:35.560
<v Speaker 2>safe setting. But I think I've had people think that

0:47:35.640 --> 0:47:39.200
<v Speaker 2>it's sexual or attention seeking and sometimes, bitch, I'm just naked,

0:47:39.480 --> 0:47:45.040
<v Speaker 2>and like, don't project your the Western world's like understanding

0:47:45.040 --> 0:47:48.520
<v Speaker 2>of sex and sexuality on kids or anyone or yourself,

0:47:48.600 --> 0:47:49.719
<v Speaker 2>because we're so.

0:47:49.760 --> 0:47:50.600
<v Speaker 3>Much more than that.

0:47:51.440 --> 0:47:51.760
<v Speaker 1>Amen.

0:47:52.920 --> 0:47:58.840
<v Speaker 2>So that concludes where our horrishness began, our early childhood

0:47:59.000 --> 0:48:01.000
<v Speaker 2>adolescent freakiness.

0:48:02.239 --> 0:48:03.839
<v Speaker 1>I hope that you'll share. I want to hear about

0:48:03.840 --> 0:48:06.759
<v Speaker 1>your virginity story. So if you guys have any virginity

0:48:06.800 --> 0:48:09.000
<v Speaker 1>stories that you'd like to share that we can share

0:48:09.040 --> 0:48:12.360
<v Speaker 1>throughout the month, please please share them. Also, this is

0:48:12.400 --> 0:48:14.719
<v Speaker 1>a great month to send those hories in, So if

0:48:14.800 --> 0:48:16.839
<v Speaker 1>you have any hories that you would like to share,

0:48:16.920 --> 0:48:18.239
<v Speaker 1>And if you don't know what a hoy is, it

0:48:18.360 --> 0:48:22.480
<v Speaker 1>is a highly hosh host hoos story that is either

0:48:22.520 --> 0:48:26.640
<v Speaker 1>funny or just great or just level ten hoish and

0:48:26.760 --> 0:48:27.400
<v Speaker 1>we love that.

0:48:27.480 --> 0:48:29.880
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, I still remember the host story of

0:48:29.920 --> 0:48:31.759
<v Speaker 2>the gardener and the Sodacan.

0:48:32.000 --> 0:48:35.440
<v Speaker 1>Oh god, what episode was that you won't have to

0:48:35.480 --> 0:48:37.719
<v Speaker 1>bring have to like bring some like hories out of

0:48:37.760 --> 0:48:38.480
<v Speaker 1>retirement that.

0:48:38.440 --> 0:48:39.880
<v Speaker 2>One needs to become out of retirement. That was one

0:48:39.880 --> 0:48:44.120
<v Speaker 2>of my favorite. Anyway, thank you for sharing. And you know,

0:48:44.280 --> 0:48:47.000
<v Speaker 2>if you're just joining us, you're new to the show,

0:48:47.560 --> 0:48:48.680
<v Speaker 2>this is a safe space.

0:48:48.760 --> 0:48:50.359
<v Speaker 3>So if you're in your car at.

0:48:50.280 --> 0:48:52.279
<v Speaker 2>Home judging the shit out of us for telling all

0:48:52.320 --> 0:48:54.879
<v Speaker 2>our business, don't, just know that this is a safe

0:48:54.880 --> 0:48:56.960
<v Speaker 2>space that you can come and tell whatever the fuck

0:48:57.000 --> 0:48:59.759
<v Speaker 2>you want. You can feel comfortable in your skin and

0:48:59.800 --> 0:49:02.880
<v Speaker 2>your experiences in your stories because there's none too weird

0:49:03.160 --> 0:49:05.759
<v Speaker 2>or too hory, or too graphic or too dirty to

0:49:05.800 --> 0:49:08.840
<v Speaker 2>talk to us about. As we understand, everyone has different

0:49:08.880 --> 0:49:11.680
<v Speaker 2>life experiences and all are welcome.

0:49:12.400 --> 0:49:14.799
<v Speaker 1>Yes, And you know what I did actually add a

0:49:15.120 --> 0:49:17.680
<v Speaker 1>hoary channel to the Slack group. So if you guys

0:49:17.680 --> 0:49:20.960
<v Speaker 1>are on Patreon and you're part of our slack community

0:49:21.000 --> 0:49:24.120
<v Speaker 1>where we all talk per day, you can share your

0:49:24.120 --> 0:49:27.600
<v Speaker 1>hories there. We are sharing hories talking about them and

0:49:28.080 --> 0:49:29.719
<v Speaker 1>it's fun. I love it over there.

0:49:30.680 --> 0:49:32.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:49:32.640 --> 0:49:36.239
<v Speaker 1>Well, anyway, we will catch you next week. I love you.

0:49:37.719 --> 0:49:41.680
<v Speaker 2>Leave this episode a review, rate and review us goddamn it,

0:49:41.719 --> 0:49:44.880
<v Speaker 2>because it's important. If you're not already, follow us on Instagram.

0:49:44.920 --> 0:49:47.520
<v Speaker 2>It's Good Mom's Underscore Bad Choices, and we're Good Mom's

0:49:47.520 --> 0:49:51.200
<v Speaker 2>Bad Choices on all podcasting platforms If you have a

0:49:51.200 --> 0:49:52.799
<v Speaker 2>friend that hasn't heard us yet, they need to hear

0:49:52.840 --> 0:49:56.160
<v Speaker 2>about our horrishness as teenagers or any other horrishness. Please

0:49:56.800 --> 0:50:00.160
<v Speaker 2>share this episode and all of your favorite episod so

0:50:00.200 --> 0:50:03.360
<v Speaker 2>it's because sharing is caring and we love you.

0:50:04.400 --> 0:50:08.319
<v Speaker 3>And he's the busy playing at least, so.

0:50:10.360 --> 0:50:12.000
<v Speaker 2>Mortify your destiny.

0:50:13.480 --> 0:50:14.680
<v Speaker 1>You can't get no sleep.

0:50:16.640 --> 0:50:20.279
<v Speaker 3>Don't take a seat because they will cream walk the

0:50:20.400 --> 0:50:21.600
<v Speaker 3>dust off my eyes.

0:50:21.719 --> 0:50:24.080
<v Speaker 1>Just let it rise, don't.

0:50:23.920 --> 0:50:42.800
<v Speaker 4>Let it die, Dolls los tree, y'all's gone back.

0:50:44.680 --> 0:50:51.080
<v Speaker 3>And I'm the buzzing plane like grow grow. I've got

0:50:51.160 --> 0:50:54.240
<v Speaker 3>the sin and the busy.

0:50:55.360 --> 0:50:56.400
<v Speaker 2>Growl.

0:50:58.640 --> 0:50:59.560
<v Speaker 1>He's got the seed.

0:51:00.200 --> 0:51:04.480
<v Speaker 3>Been an un deposing playing Make it roll gold

0:51:09.000 --> 0:51:09.359
<v Speaker 1>Mm hmm