Speaker 1: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and
Speaker 1: I'm Mila, and it's Wednesday. Happy hump Day, Happy hump
Speaker 1: Day and happy What are we calling this month? Like
Speaker 1: Sexy June.
Speaker 2: We've been trying to figure this out for a month,
Speaker 2: Like Hot mom Summer, Sexy June summertime Fine, which Erica
Speaker 2: was not.
Speaker 3: A fan of.
Speaker 1: I mean it's growing on me. I guess it's nineties
Speaker 1: and I love the nineties, so it just feels.
Speaker 3: Bring the back whole hot Summer.
Speaker 1: If you have joined us on our dick Challenge, our
Speaker 1: Dick Talks Challenge, it's over. So I don't know if
Speaker 1: you guys are back to fucking. I don't know if
Speaker 1: you guys are back to making better choices. But our
Speaker 1: main challenge, our May Dick Talk Challenge, is over. I
Speaker 1: just want to thank everyone that joined me on the journey.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. I love you. I loved our
Speaker 1: weekly zoom calls. If you joined our slack, then you
Speaker 1: know that we're contained. You mean, the conversation over there
Speaker 1: and I'm just feeling real sexy and Jim and.
Speaker 2: Just because May is over doesn't mean you have to
Speaker 2: give up your dick took no. I feel like after
Speaker 2: the first thirty days it gets easier. So it's like,
Speaker 2: once you hit thirty day mark, are you even horny anymore?
Speaker 3: You could just like go for a full year after that.
Speaker 1: Mostly I think you're horny. You're just like more horny
Speaker 1: for yourself, and it's just like you're just not really
Speaker 1: inviting just any kind of residual energy and you got
Speaker 1: to really be with the shits.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're more intentional with the pussy by this time. Congratulations,
Speaker 2: congratulations house.
Speaker 1: Shall we pull a tero my love?
Speaker 3: Yes, we shall. My shoveling still isn't better? Okay. The
Speaker 3: card today.
Speaker 2: Is the World, which is number this twenty one, Yes, okay,
Speaker 2: it's twenty one the World, and it's a woman with
Speaker 2: two sticks.
Speaker 1: She looks bountiful, bountiful.
Speaker 3: She just looks happy.
Speaker 1: Well. According to the description of the World card, upright
Speaker 1: represents completion, integration, accomplishment, and travel.
Speaker 3: Oh huh, look at there. Hah hah.
Speaker 1: Me and Mila just signed a very important contract today
Speaker 1: which I don't know if we can share it with
Speaker 1: you guys, but the moment we can, we will, and
Speaker 1: I hope that you're excited as well. And it is
Speaker 1: a huge accomplishment and we are about to go travel
Speaker 1: to complete it. So this card feels very very on
Speaker 1: time for us.
Speaker 2: It says inner and outer wealth, inner and outer wealth. Wow,
Speaker 2: that's a good ass card to pull because a lot
Speaker 2: of people have outer wealth, and that don't always mean
Speaker 2: you have any shoutdown, and Lord knows I need both
Speaker 2: joy recognition, being in harmony with the universe because we
Speaker 2: have manifested the fuck out of this finding balance, enlightenment,
Speaker 2: achieving goals, union of body, mind and soul. You, the
Speaker 2: world and the intangible are one. Become the creator of
Speaker 2: your own world and master the daily life. Without you,
Speaker 2: the universe would be missing something.
Speaker 3: I think it means we're walking in our purpose.
Speaker 2: Dear, I mean, duh, I think we found our calling
Speaker 2: talking shit on the internet.
Speaker 3: It's beautiful. Thank you God, Thank you God. I knew.
Speaker 2: I told someone the other day. I was like, you know,
Speaker 2: in my twenties, I did a bunch of shit. I
Speaker 2: barely said no to shit just because it sounded fun
Speaker 2: and I needed to accumulate experiences. And at that time
Speaker 2: I didn't know why I had all these stories.
Speaker 3: And God is like, here you go.
Speaker 2: You're all the stupid shit you did in your twenties
Speaker 2: that everyone was like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Speaker 2: This is why, because I knew the world needed to
Speaker 2: hear my whole stories in my thirties. It's so important
Speaker 2: that I share my crazy, wild experiences. And that's why
Speaker 2: God let me have them, because he knew I needed
Speaker 2: to live a little and I needed to share a lot.
Speaker 1: Amen. Amen, speaking of our youth and host stories. Yesterday,
Speaker 1: I had dinner with one of my best friends who's
Speaker 1: visiting from Germany. Shout out to my boy Jared and
Speaker 1: I don't really share this information a lot, but I
Speaker 1: used to like be a singer, oh yeah, and apparently
Speaker 1: a rapper because I went back into he opened up
Speaker 1: our SoundCloud, which still exists, which maybe I'll share in
Speaker 1: the episode description because actually I'm kind of proud. I
Speaker 1: went back and listened. I was like, wait, we were
Speaker 1: kind of good. We might be at Coachella this year.
Speaker 1: Had we just continued, I swear to fucking got we
Speaker 1: were ahead of our time. I'm telling you I was,
Speaker 1: baby Calie, all right, can you stop? I'm not kidding.
Speaker 3: I keep telling you we need to use one of
Speaker 3: the tracks.
Speaker 1: Okay, well, maybe we'll use Maybe we'll use it so
Speaker 1: we've been using before. You know what, maybe we'll outro
Speaker 1: this episode with one of the songs. Because a bitch
Speaker 1: was proud. Last night I was listening, and not only that,
Speaker 1: was I ridiculously sex positive. Like I was talking about
Speaker 1: like coming sucking dick, Like yeah, there's this one song
Speaker 1: called focus, and it's like keep your mind in folks,
Speaker 1: trying not to let go of this, take it all
Speaker 1: the way down your throat, like hocus pops. Okay, whoa
Speaker 1: that I wasn't a freak, but then I let him
Speaker 1: taste my Okay, I don't even want So you.
Speaker 3: Were a witch and you were stitch.
Speaker 1: I was proudly so sex positive and like I didn't
Speaker 1: know my life was gonna lead me here, but I
Speaker 1: think I was practicing then. Then I was listening to
Speaker 1: these rap skills. I was like, baby daddy, who nigga,
Speaker 1: I'm the O g rapper bitch. No wonder he never
Speaker 1: supported me because he knew I was bad at And
Speaker 1: you know now now I'm telling you, I'm proud. I was,
Speaker 1: like I told you, I was like, maybe we should
Speaker 1: like remix these and like put them out. I think
Speaker 1: I'm gonna move our Spotify playlist, which, by the way,
Speaker 1: if you guys haven't checked out our playlist, you guys
Speaker 1: should their bomb. I just put one out in May
Speaker 1: called Mama's Flowers. But I'm thinking I might have to
Speaker 1: take our playlist to SoundCloud because SoundCloud low key has
Speaker 1: way better selection.
Speaker 3: Of music DJ music like mixes that you want to hear.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then I can just sprinkle in my shit.
Speaker 3: I'm here for it.
Speaker 2: When you guys drop the like, drop the remixes, just
Speaker 2: give me a feed you and you know I fully
Speaker 2: support your baby.
Speaker 3: Calise rap dreams.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I had songs about like only like
Speaker 1: having sex with rich people.
Speaker 2: I had. I had some deep shit I had like
Speaker 2: I had some stuff of a manifestation planting seas Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1: Girl, I was on some ship. I don't know what happened,
Speaker 1: but I know for sure I would be at Coachella
Speaker 1: this year if I had just kept going. I'm not kidding.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 3: You're just dead serious, do you.
Speaker 2: Because you're so good at manifesting, can you lead us
Speaker 2: into our affirmation for the day. Yes, because you're so
Speaker 2: sex positive and you're so good at manifesting even before
Speaker 2: you knew you were doing it.
Speaker 1: Oh yep, yep, yep. So today's affirmation is I only
Speaker 1: invite bomb ass sex into my life.
Speaker 3: Oh can we get a hallelujah?
Speaker 1: I only invite bomb ass sex into my life. Okay,
Speaker 1: especially after this dick talks. Okay, don't waste the pussy
Speaker 1: on some on some not bombs at.
Speaker 3: Don't have time for it. Actually, someone asked me last night.
Speaker 2: I asked me last night, how often do you give
Speaker 2: up the pussy and then it's disappointing?
Speaker 3: And I said, honestly, I'm gonna have to go.
Speaker 2: With an eighty to ninety percent rate. I could have
Speaker 2: wiped out ninety percent of motherfuck as I fucked. Luckily
Speaker 2: for you, there's stories for them, but ninety percent of
Speaker 2: the thing is I fucked were not satisfying. I can't
Speaker 2: even remember, like I could probably remember five good fucks.
Speaker 3: What about you like me?
Speaker 1: You know what? Someone asked me that. So I was
Speaker 1: on a date recently and I asked him, I said,
Speaker 1: what are your like worst sex stories? And he shared
Speaker 1: some that were very like scary and like some girl
Speaker 1: like took out a fork and knife and said she
Speaker 1: wanted to eat his dick. That was crazy? What yeah? Now,
Speaker 1: Like I was like, can I see your dick? Like
Speaker 1: what's going on with your dick?
Speaker 2: Too?
Speaker 1: I don't know, but now I haven't.
Speaker 3: I didn't ask what happened next.
Speaker 1: He said he left, but like I have questions now.
Speaker 1: I'm like I kind of wanted to be like can
Speaker 1: I see your dick? Like what's going on with the dick?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 1: Why does she want to eat it? Maybe it's beautiful,
Speaker 1: That's what I mean. That's what he was alluding to.
Speaker 1: But anyway, he asked me what my bad sex story
Speaker 1: was were, And of course I've had like not great sex,
Speaker 1: but I don't know, like I haven't had like a
Speaker 1: lot of bad sex. I don't think. I don't think.
Speaker 1: I think because I've just been manifesting good sex in
Speaker 1: my life from such a young age, I don't know if.
Speaker 3: It's necessarily been bad sex. I bring the sex just.
Speaker 1: Like That's what I'm saying, Like I feel like I
Speaker 1: can get myself there. You I don't know, like, of
Speaker 1: course I've had bad experiences like you know, people sweating
Speaker 1: all over my face or like you know, like asking
Speaker 1: me to like talk a lot when I don't want
Speaker 1: to talk and like, you know, just like you know,
Speaker 1: sizing not being you know, compatible to me and all
Speaker 1: those things. But I just feel like I haven't had
Speaker 1: terrible sex my I don't know, it's been okay.
Speaker 2: I honestly, I'll be completely one hundred, like ninety eight
Speaker 2: percent of my sex is like foggy, I was drunk.
Speaker 3: I was blacked out. A lot of those times not great.
Speaker 1: And you know what, you know what, Also there's that
Speaker 1: because I have a terrible memory, which is a whole
Speaker 1: other topic which terrifies me and scares me that I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna remember half my life. Thank god we're podcasting
Speaker 1: because I'll I can like go back and listen to
Speaker 1: what the fuck I did. But there's a lot of
Speaker 1: things I don't remember, and there's people I don't remember.
Speaker 1: Like there'd be people that will be like come up
Speaker 1: to me and be like, don't you remember this person
Speaker 1: or you slept with that person? And I'm like who.
Speaker 2: I totally knew I had a problem when I called
Speaker 2: my homegirl that I used to work with, and I said.
Speaker 3: Hey, girl, I just got a weird dream. I just
Speaker 3: want to know, did I fuck.
Speaker 2: Our bartender that we worked with at this job. She said, yes, bitch,
Speaker 2: you did one time. I was like, thank you, I'll
Speaker 2: call you back.
Speaker 3: It dawned on me, Wow, how many of those are there?
Speaker 3: Probably quite a few, which you know is fine. I
Speaker 3: drink less than I did then. I was a wild child.
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 2: I'll be the first to say I was sledting it
Speaker 2: out hardcore. You know, I've graduated to being an ethical
Speaker 2: slut being. I'm trying to be more ethical. Erica has
Speaker 2: come to the conclusion that she thinks that I'm toxic,
Speaker 2: which could be true.
Speaker 1: Did I come to that conclusion?
Speaker 3: You said it to me in the car yesterday?
Speaker 1: I said, toxic tendencies.
Speaker 3: I'm working on it. It's not my fault.
Speaker 1: I think that you will like a little drama, like
Speaker 1: a little spice. Do you like a little sprinkle drama?
Speaker 3: I don't like drama.
Speaker 1: I like.
Speaker 3: I don't like a little psycho love.
Speaker 1: That's psycho's drama. Bit I don't usually psycho equals drama.
Speaker 2: I want you to love me so bad you're gonna
Speaker 2: go crazy, but like, don't act crazy to me.
Speaker 3: I don't have time for that.
Speaker 1: Speaking of which is well, I guess we'll talk off
Speaker 1: air about this, But I'm just wondering what you know,
Speaker 1: your little psycho, the psychonist that has led to the
Speaker 1: drama that is occurring that apparently doesn't happen in your life.
Speaker 1: No drama. How's that going for you today?
Speaker 2: First of all, there's no drama because I am ignoring
Speaker 2: the whole fucking situation. But if I must confess because
Speaker 2: Erica has asked me when she didn't wait till laughter,
Speaker 2: because she doesn't.
Speaker 3: Give a fuck about my feelings.
Speaker 2: So my toxicity probably includes me falling in love a lot,
Speaker 2: not a lot.
Speaker 3: I do love people.
Speaker 2: I'd be loving people, I'd be wanting to liberate them
Speaker 2: because I feel like I've found that a lot of
Speaker 2: people have a hard time being free and have a
Speaker 2: hard time like igniting life like they're not they're lust
Speaker 2: for life, and I feel like, naturally I have that
Speaker 2: really Well, shit happens, but always I'm happy to be here,
Speaker 2: and always I'm trying to find the highest height of
Speaker 2: what my life experience could be, whether it be in
Speaker 2: sex and friendship. Like I'm generally the type of person
Speaker 2: that like, I'm gonna milk the fuck out of this life. Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm only here for this time, looking like this, doing
Speaker 2: this one time, I'm gonna do everything I fucking can
Speaker 2: to make it as great as I can.
Speaker 3: Anyway, I don't know if any if you're on our
Speaker 3: close friends.
Speaker 2: But some time ago, a few months ago, I first
Speaker 2: I cheated on that boyfriend. Then I was sad, so
Speaker 2: I went to the Internet with my sadness. I met
Speaker 2: a niggain in my DMS. He was entertaining me. I
Speaker 2: was trying to get over the last guy, and he said,
Speaker 2: come visit me in blah blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 3: So what do I do?
Speaker 1: Duh?
Speaker 2: I say, Yeah, which better way to get over another
Speaker 2: niggas to get under another one and go to a trip.
Speaker 2: Did I have other things going on in my life
Speaker 2: that needed prioritizing? Sure, I just moved. Did I needed furniture?
Speaker 2: But first the first recovery, dick right.
Speaker 1: Very important.
Speaker 2: I fully endorsed this message, so literally, I got the
Speaker 2: keys to my apartment on like Monday Wednesday morning, I
Speaker 2: went to get under somebody. So I traveled. I spent
Speaker 2: a couple a few days with this gentleman. We had
Speaker 2: a really good time.
Speaker 3: We did.
Speaker 2: He's totally opposite me. Which is something I guess I
Speaker 2: tend to do a lot. I just find people who
Speaker 2: are nothing like me, and I'm.
Speaker 3: Like, come here, let me pull you out of your shell.
Speaker 1: Come come out of the cage.
Speaker 3: Take off your shirt, take off your pants, run wild.
Speaker 3: It'll be fun. And that's what I do.
Speaker 2: And then they do and they get a taste of
Speaker 2: freedom and life and like vibrantness, and they're like, ooh, Mila,
Speaker 2: like how that tastes.
Speaker 3: Let me get a little more.
Speaker 2: Let me And then they get greedy and they want
Speaker 2: to eat me alive and keep me forever. And it's
Speaker 2: just that's not how I work. I'm a wild animal,
Speaker 2: free spirit witch, and you can't put me in a cage. Anyway,
Speaker 2: that happened. We had a good time. I told him
Speaker 2: I loved him, because I do be loving people. Anyway,
Speaker 2: he really really got entangled into Mila, and shortly after
Speaker 2: at that time, I told him, like, I'm open. I
Speaker 2: just got out of something. I don't want any type
Speaker 2: of relationship. I have another person. I went on the
Speaker 2: trip with another person. I made that clear. I was
Speaker 2: really indulging in my ethical slight open, radical honesty that
Speaker 2: he was aware of Somewhere along the way is another
Speaker 2: guy that I'm actually truly really in love with, and
Speaker 2: so I kind of fell off, you know. And I
Speaker 2: don't like to be obligated to do anything. I don't
Speaker 2: want to have to call you every day. I don't
Speaker 2: want to have to check in. So that naturally fell
Speaker 2: off for me because I have shit going on in
Speaker 2: my life. He came here to visit one time, which
Speaker 2: was fine. Still, I don't want anything that you expect.
Speaker 1: Never settled, didn't say a word shit, I didn't say
Speaker 1: one fucking word.
Speaker 2: Here's a man of little words. I think that's another thing.
Speaker 2: I like men of little words, because what are.
Speaker 3: You thinking in there? Let me tell me? Talk to me?
Speaker 2: Anyway, he came, he left. That was probably about like
Speaker 2: three months ago, two or three months ago. At this point,
Speaker 2: I told him he has expectations. I was like, look,
Speaker 2: I am very busy. We're living very different lives. He
Speaker 2: wants different things out of life, you know, and I
Speaker 2: think I kind of like spark that for him. Some
Speaker 2: people are content doing what they've been doing for twenty
Speaker 2: years and they don't want anything more. And I don't
Speaker 2: understand it, but like everyone has their thing, you know,
Speaker 2: and I think that he was just settling. And I
Speaker 2: think he knew he was settling, but he hadn't had
Speaker 2: a woman like me say, look at me living my
Speaker 2: best life, and you look like you're settling, you should
Speaker 2: probably maybe get thirsty or and hungrier because life has
Speaker 2: so much more to offer you. And obviously, like, I
Speaker 2: didn't say it like that because that sounds mean. And
Speaker 2: you know, I'm always worried about being mean because I'm
Speaker 2: a people plaser, which is probably why I didn't directly, upfront,
Speaker 2: straight up say hey, I'm in love with someone else,
Speaker 2: just leave me alone. So now yesterday, out of nowhere,
Speaker 2: I get a text, Hey, what's up?
Speaker 3: Hey, how are you? I'm good?
Speaker 2: What kind of weed do you smell? Where's those mushrooms
Speaker 2: that you have? Where do you get those? I'm like,
Speaker 2: I'm the plug.
Speaker 3: I have a lot of plugs. I smoke hybrids.
Speaker 2: Now he's like, okay, keep in mind, this person did
Speaker 2: none of these things. I also encourage all my niggas
Speaker 2: to take psychedelics.
Speaker 3: And he's like, because.
Speaker 1: I speaking of psychedelics, DMS.
Speaker 2: DMS for the psychedelics or black market advertising, our sponsors
Speaker 2: are gonna pull out, like these pictures anyway, disregardless of kidding.
Speaker 3: No, we're not.
Speaker 2: He's like, well, oh, I just wanted to know because
Speaker 2: I'm gonna need to know the plug in about four hours.
Speaker 2: Excuse me, sir, you're gonna need to know what in
Speaker 2: four hours? Why would you need to know that? You
Speaker 2: don't live in the state that I live in. In fact,
Speaker 2: the only time you've even visited this state in the
Speaker 2: last ten years is because of me?
Speaker 3: Yours truly? Which what do you mean?
Speaker 2: Uh? It took some time to get back to that response,
Speaker 2: probably because at that point he realized it.
Speaker 3: Sounded a little crazy.
Speaker 2: I haven't talked to you in months, and the last
Speaker 2: time I talked to you just said like, I don't
Speaker 2: have a lot of time for this.
Speaker 3: And the next time you hit me up, you're here,
Speaker 3: You're in my city.
Speaker 2: So yeah, this is the toxicity that she speaks of. Again,
Speaker 2: I don't really feel like it's my fault. I feel
Speaker 2: like this is I don't pop up in my house,
Speaker 2: I'll kill you.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's your fault. I just think that
Speaker 1: I don't know how many times I have to tell
Speaker 1: you that you are fucking magical, and when you sprinkle
Speaker 1: your magic on niggas that are in a little shell,
Speaker 1: and they get that little click from you, niggas will
Speaker 1: be crazy. Just remember that episode. Bitches be crazy or
Speaker 1: whatever the fuck. Bitches be psycho. Niggas be psycho too.
Speaker 1: When they get the knight fairy fairy dust sprinkled on
Speaker 1: that very pussy may get the fairy pussy sprinkled, they
Speaker 1: be tripping. So all I'm saying is, you know, be
Speaker 1: more careful with the how you sprinkle, and also be
Speaker 1: careful who you tell you love, who you say I
Speaker 1: love you too, because I realize that when you say
Speaker 1: I love you, like sometimes it is like in love,
Speaker 1: but then sometimes it is just like I love you,
Speaker 1: like I love you, and like I think I've even
Speaker 1: under like I've opened myself up to being able to
Speaker 1: say that, because I used to reserve the word love
Speaker 1: for like very specific type of love, and I don't
Speaker 1: really do that anymore. But I also know that I
Speaker 1: have to be careful who I say that to, because
Speaker 1: not everybody understands that, especially when you're having sex with
Speaker 1: them and I don't and like looking in their eyes
Speaker 1: and saying I love you, and like maybe like holding
Speaker 1: them and like dreading their hair and like looking in
Speaker 1: their eyes when you're having sex and saying I love you.
Speaker 3: Relax. I did all that.
Speaker 2: I did twist his hair. I'm a cancer. I'm the
Speaker 2: mother of all the signs. I like to nurture into
Speaker 2: hole and to cuddle and to like encourage and motivate.
Speaker 2: But it doesn't mean I'm here to stay. It means
Speaker 2: figure your shit out and live better.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know the niggas should not have come. That's
Speaker 1: out of pocket. That's crazy, that's crazy, I mean.
Speaker 2: And then I today, I'm like, who are you here?
Speaker 2: With himself? So I don't know if there's expectation to
Speaker 2: see me. I don't really. Here's one thing about me.
Speaker 2: I care, care, care, I love, love, love. But when
Speaker 2: I don't care anymore, I can't care. There's nothing I
Speaker 2: can do about it. I'm sorry I can't see you.
Speaker 2: I'm booked and busy. You should have called first, you
Speaker 2: should have not come. This was not my intention, but
Speaker 2: you know, Erica told me months ago, called the nigga
Speaker 2: and say there's somebody else, And because I'm too nice.
Speaker 1: I did it.
Speaker 2: And so I take full responsibility if this portion of
Speaker 2: my toxicity and I'm going to be more upfront and
Speaker 2: forward and direct, even if it hurts a nigga's feelings
Speaker 2: or bitches feelings in the future, because this is probably
Speaker 2: really gonna hurt when you've traveled to fucking two thousand
Speaker 2: miles to see someone you're not guaranteed to see and
Speaker 2: I'm going to guarantee you're not going to see me.
Speaker 2: So yeah, and he told me in the beginning's like,
Speaker 2: you're gonna hurt me. I'm like, that's not my intention.
Speaker 2: But if you felt that way, you should have went
Speaker 2: with your instinct because you probably knew that you were
Speaker 2: husband material. And this is gonna sound really fucked up, but.
Speaker 1: Are you a couple looking to find a third or
Speaker 1: are you single and searching for a dating app that
Speaker 1: actually encourages you to embrace your sexual side, then you
Speaker 1: need to check out Field. Field is the alternative dating
Speaker 1: app for couples and singles, and I fucking love it.
Speaker 2: It's amazing and I'm gonna be honest, I've been using
Speaker 2: Field to find a third person for me and my
Speaker 2: man and it's pretty cool because I can make my
Speaker 2: own profile and connect it to his. It's called paired profiles,
Speaker 2: so whoever you're seeking can check you both out, and
Speaker 2: you guys are connected on the app.
Speaker 1: I love it. It's makes my ethical slut heart smile.
Speaker 3: Honestly it does.
Speaker 2: It's just really an open space for open minded people
Speaker 2: to link up, make friendships, and maybe make love.
Speaker 1: And here's some great news you guys. You can download
Speaker 1: the Field app for free and support our show by
Speaker 1: using the link in this episode's description. Just click the
Speaker 1: link in our episode to get the Field app for
Speaker 1: free today.
Speaker 3: Do you feel this way?
Speaker 2: Like if you see a woman and she's thriving, and
Speaker 2: she's living her best life, and she's going after her
Speaker 2: dreams and living in her purpose and manifesting abundantly, what
Speaker 2: the fuck makes you think that? If you are living
Speaker 2: a life of conplacency and contentness, and you're just like, eh,
Speaker 2: I'm kind of happy. I think I clocked in and
Speaker 2: more power to the clock ins.
Speaker 3: But are you happy?
Speaker 2: Don't come be here in my light and think that
Speaker 2: we're compatible forever.
Speaker 3: It's disrespectful.
Speaker 1: Well, those people are usually called energy vampires, and sometimes
Speaker 1: it's conscious, sometimes it's unconscious. But like I said, you
Speaker 1: have a light, like I was telling, what was I telling?
Speaker 3: Irene? In the car yesterday.
Speaker 1: She's like, what did you say to Jamila. I was like, Jamila.
Speaker 1: I was like, Jamila, it's baby, I was telling Iri
Speaker 1: was like, baby, it's like when we leave the door
Speaker 1: open at night and there's that light inside, and you
Speaker 1: freak out because all the bugs keep coming in because
Speaker 1: they're attracted to the light. Jamala is the light and
Speaker 1: all the niggas are.
Speaker 3: The bugs keep coming in trying to get it, trying
Speaker 3: to get some.
Speaker 1: And then we keep closing the door, but we keep
Speaker 1: leaving it open a little bit. So yeah, I think
Speaker 1: honesty is always the best policy. You're very honest here,
Speaker 1: so you just got to be honest to these niggas.
Speaker 2: And I feel bad right now. I feel bad, like, like,
Speaker 2: is this my life? Did I get into a career
Speaker 2: that I do toxic shit and then talk shit about
Speaker 2: it publicly? I mean, luckily for everyone there's no names involved.
Speaker 2: But I'm actually just honestly working through my issues out loud,
Speaker 2: and unfortunately that requires that I talk about other people sometimes.
Speaker 2: And I'm realizing that this wasn't cool, and I probably
Speaker 2: will pick up the phone when he leaves the city
Speaker 2: and reiterate because I'm not picking up the phone while
Speaker 2: you're here because I don't care.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and he's out of pocket, Like I said, that's crazy.
Speaker 1: I don't care if, especially if you haven't really been
Speaker 1: giving him that attention. There's no reason to just pop
Speaker 1: up on you. You have no one. First of all,
Speaker 1: you have a child, like you have shit going on
Speaker 1: right now, Like you need to give mom's notice period.
Speaker 1: Moms need notice and all period.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: My old thing too, is like I don't need a hint.
Speaker 2: If a nigga's not interested in me, I'll be the
Speaker 2: first bitch to know. Like I'm not, Oh, okay, cool out.
Speaker 2: I don't think I should have the spell shit out
Speaker 2: to niggau.
Speaker 1: Some people just don't get social cues and they really
Speaker 1: just don't or they just don't want to.
Speaker 3: And I get it. I'm addictive, you know, like I
Speaker 3: feel good and but.
Speaker 1: You take a man you knew that he's never experienced
Speaker 1: anything like you, and you give him a taste, and
Speaker 1: of course they're gonna get addicted.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's just I wanted him to know that you
Speaker 3: can have more.
Speaker 1: Okay, but do you think did work? No?
Speaker 3: Well I did it. I'm sure he's gonna he told me.
Speaker 2: Has a job interview on Friday for the same same
Speaker 2: job in a different city.
Speaker 3: That's step one, you know.
Speaker 2: But I just feel like, even like he was here
Speaker 2: around the time, we had a meeting about this thing
Speaker 2: that's happening with us, and they were talking like numbers
Speaker 2: and like this huge deal was happening on speakerphone, and
Speaker 2: I just like looked over and I was just like,
Speaker 2: this is awkward. It just felt awkward to me, Like
Speaker 2: I really wasn't like I was celebrating this win. And
Speaker 2: I just kind of felt bad because I felt like
Speaker 2: maybe he felt like, oh damn, like, what have I
Speaker 2: been doing all this year?
Speaker 1: You're not equally yoked. You're not, And you know what,
Speaker 1: don't feel bad about it.
Speaker 2: I feel bad because I've not I haven't always been here.
Speaker 2: Of course I'm not, of course not. But you're here
Speaker 2: now and so and so. Don't bring yourself backwards because
Speaker 2: of where you used to be. No, Like, that's not
Speaker 2: how you continue to propel forward by bringing people from.
Speaker 1: Behind with you on the journey, right, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? It's one thing to like, you know, bring
Speaker 1: your people with you and you're like, you know, wanting
Speaker 1: them to be a part of the journey.
Speaker 3: But like niggas can't if you're not not everyone can come.
Speaker 3: And I'm learning that not everyone's invited.
Speaker 1: I'm learning, you know, I have no problem on inviting people.
Speaker 3: I know that's where I need to take more from you.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna start calling people for you, like, hey, So
Speaker 1: this is really.
Speaker 3: When this was conspiring.
Speaker 2: I wanted to give you my phone and I wish
Speaker 2: that you would just do it for me.
Speaker 1: My Hello, this is Tremila's wife. It's over.
Speaker 3: She's moved on.
Speaker 1: She's moved on. I know she sprinkled the fairy dust.
Speaker 1: I know, nigga, I know the pussy was bombed. But
Speaker 1: it's over. It's over. She's in love with someone else
Speaker 1: now and you should but you should do all the
Speaker 1: things she said that you should do, like do all
Speaker 1: those things, but.
Speaker 3: With someone else.
Speaker 2: I this is a perfect example of why Dick can
Speaker 2: confuse you and why Dick is not the solution of
Speaker 2: getting over somebody else, because it just doesn't work well.
Speaker 1: Speaking of Dick, and you know confusion, and you know
Speaker 1: the history of penis in our life. I thought, in
Speaker 1: honor of this first week of June and us talking
Speaker 1: all about sex all June and having some really cool
Speaker 1: guests on this month as well to talk about sex, sex, work,
Speaker 1: all the things I wanted to share with you guys
Speaker 1: our history with sex, starting with how we lost our virginity,
Speaker 1: which for me was not great.
Speaker 3: Please do tell.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, you know, I started thinking about sex at
Speaker 1: a really young age. The first time that I saw
Speaker 1: sex was at shout out to my friend Gigi. Her dad.
Speaker 1: He was an NBA player, and he had this huge
Speaker 1: mansion and I was basically living there all summer long,
Speaker 1: and he had like every single channel that there could
Speaker 1: have ever been on television, and he had this workout room,
Speaker 1: and I remember like he had these bikes, these like
Speaker 1: stationary bikes, and me and Gigi would like fake bike
Speaker 1: and watch TV. And one day we stumbled upon I
Speaker 1: think was the Playboy chain all and like it was
Speaker 1: like we hit gold, Like we're like, what the fuck
Speaker 1: is this? Probably like ten and we were like what
Speaker 1: what is this? So I just remember like us like
Speaker 1: riding is such a strange visual, but like two ten
Speaker 1: year olds like fake working out on the bike, but
Speaker 1: also like watching porn and we were watching porn right
Speaker 1: and then after like this was like our thing. We'd
Speaker 1: go in there because no one bother us in there,
Speaker 1: and we'd like either just chill, were working. But then
Speaker 1: there was a time where like we're on the bike
Speaker 1: and like I was watching it and I remember like
Speaker 1: the bike seat feeling good and like I was kind
Speaker 1: of like rubbing my pussy on the bike and like
Speaker 1: watching the porn and I was like, what is this,
Speaker 1: Like what is this like sensation? And so that was
Speaker 1: like my entry into like, oh, this is what sex
Speaker 1: is like. So porn was my first obviously intro into
Speaker 1: what I thought sex was supposed to be like. And
Speaker 1: then you know, not having a dad really around daddy
Speaker 1: issues obviously played into this. And then my mom not
Speaker 1: really discussing sex with me, and then like teenagers, like
Speaker 1: as I I think it was around like eleven or twelve,
Speaker 1: I was at an all girls school. So I was
Speaker 1: an all girls school and with a bunch of girls
Speaker 1: with a lot of misinformation teaching me about sex. When
Speaker 1: I was twelve, we moved into a house right behind
Speaker 1: an all boys high school. Worst mistake ever. And so
Speaker 1: and around that time, obviously I'm going like my hormones
Speaker 1: are raging. I'm like I think I'm supposed to have
Speaker 1: sex now, like I had made out before, I like
Speaker 1: got fingered. I think like I got fingered around age eleven.
Speaker 1: I actually I did at age eleven.
Speaker 3: That was a fingering year.
Speaker 1: And I forget it was like my dad was eleven
Speaker 1: and twelve.
Speaker 3: You're getting the finger fucked all over everywhere.
Speaker 1: My dad was getting inducted into the Hall of Fame
Speaker 1: in Dayton, Ohio. And like his assistants son was my
Speaker 1: age Daniel.
Speaker 2: Oh oh, and he was probably so small, this valley,
Speaker 2: so small, and he was so fine to me.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. I was in love with him, and
Speaker 1: he was coming on the trip. I was like vacation
Speaker 1: and we I remember we were in we were at
Speaker 1: the pool. We're at the pool, and there was like
Speaker 1: a steam room at the pool too. So we went
Speaker 1: in the pool and we started making out under the water.
Speaker 1: Like that was like my first kiss was like underwater.
Speaker 1: And then actually my first kiss was with a girl,
Speaker 1: but I didn't count that first kiss with him was underwater.
Speaker 1: And then we went into the steam room and then
Speaker 1: like he like fingered me. And after that, I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm having sex next, next is next next to sex.
Speaker 1: So then I had a boyfriend around age twelve, my
Speaker 1: first boyfriend, and he was like an age appropriate like
Speaker 1: he was like very respectful, just wanted to make out,
Speaker 1: like yeah, he fingered me, I guess in the back
Speaker 1: of the like the movie theater at the Howard Hughes Center,
Speaker 1: if you know, you know. But I remember telling him
Speaker 1: that I was ready for sex at age twelve and
Speaker 1: he was like, no, you're not. And I was, you
Speaker 1: know me, you don't tell me what the fuck I'm
Speaker 1: ready for my nigga. So I was like, no, I am,
Speaker 1: and he was like, well, I'm not, and I don't
Speaker 1: think we are, and I'm gonna make that choice for us,
Speaker 1: very mature wow. And I was like, hmmm, nigh. Well,
Speaker 1: do you know I lived behind All boys High School Niga.
Speaker 1: So one day I was walking to the market and
Speaker 1: I saw this very handsome, light skinned man sitting outside
Speaker 1: in his basketball jersey and he had corn rows. God,
Speaker 1: he was so fine.
Speaker 2: And you know what interruption just because I know this
Speaker 2: because we're in the valley. If you grew up in
Speaker 2: the valley and you're black, there are very little black
Speaker 2: guys in the valley.
Speaker 3: So if you were black and you grew up in
Speaker 3: the valley. You know that there are very.
Speaker 2: Little black girls and black boys, so if you spotted
Speaker 2: a fine one, you needed to figure it out quickly.
Speaker 2: I mean there was literally I feel like there was
Speaker 2: a hunt for black boys.
Speaker 3: In this age.
Speaker 1: Literally since I've met.
Speaker 3: My baby daddy on a hunt for black guys.
Speaker 1: This is a fact.
Speaker 3: Through AOL. Then there was al Mousenger and then you connect.
Speaker 2: You found the found one black guy and he found
Speaker 2: the rest because I maybe had friends at a different
Speaker 2: school and.
Speaker 1: Then well even my boyfriend who said we I wasn't ready.
Speaker 1: He lived in like South Central and like I met
Speaker 1: him because I went to like a private school dance
Speaker 1: and he went to school at Loyal or he went
Speaker 1: to a where do you go, Pilgrim, He went to
Speaker 1: some school and like a few of these guys that
Speaker 1: happened to be at this dance, Carlton him, my friend
Speaker 1: Justin who I'm still I'm still friends with all these
Speaker 1: people because I was so desperate for black friends. That
Speaker 1: and that's why my mom was driving me from the
Speaker 1: valley to Howard Hughes which is by the airport, to
Speaker 1: go hang out with my black friends because I had
Speaker 1: none in the valley. So anyway, when I sat when
Speaker 1: I was walking into this grocery store at my house,
Speaker 1: and I saw this beautiful black boy sitting there like
Speaker 1: you know, you make the eye contact, you look at
Speaker 1: one another, and I was like, oh shit, oh my god.
Speaker 1: He asked for my number. We exchanged numbers and that
Speaker 1: was that. We talked, exchanged information, chatted over the over
Speaker 1: the no not I was on the landline. My mom
Speaker 1: was always like.
Speaker 3: Get off the phut and I was like, okays up,
Speaker 3: don't come back.
Speaker 1: And I started sneaking him into my backyard because he
Speaker 1: could just jump over the fence, and so at first
Speaker 1: we just started kind of like making out. So he
Speaker 1: was at an all boys school at that time. I was,
Speaker 1: I guess I had. It was the summer right before
Speaker 1: I started high school and he was a year older
Speaker 1: than me, and so over time, sneaking him into the
Speaker 1: backyard eventually led to now I'm going to give you head,
Speaker 1: and so I gave him head. I had no idea
Speaker 1: what the fuck I was doing, just I think I well,
Speaker 1: maybe I did because I watched so much porn at
Speaker 1: my friend's house that I was actually maybe loki an expert.
Speaker 1: But the I remember telling him like, I'm ready to
Speaker 1: lose my virginity. And so we planned it and he
Speaker 1: came into my backyard. My nanny was home, or my
Speaker 1: housekeeper was home, but I knew that she was never
Speaker 1: going to come outside and come in the backyard. And
Speaker 1: we went into this shed and I lost my virginity
Speaker 1: on this like wooden, dirty ass table in my backyard
Speaker 1: when my parents were at work. And it lasted for
Speaker 1: all of like three minutes, and I remember it feeling uncomfortable,
Speaker 1: but didn't hurt as much as like I anticipated it hurting.
Speaker 1: And then it was over, and then he jumped over
Speaker 1: the fence and that was that. And then he remember
Speaker 1: him calling me and asking me if I was a virgin,
Speaker 1: like if I was really a virgin, And I was like,
Speaker 1: what do you mean. He's like, well, you didn't bleed.
Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, I don't know. He's like, well,
Speaker 1: you're supposed to bleed, and I was like the myths
Speaker 1: the children here right. And then he said, and you
Speaker 1: seem like you knew what you were doing. That's what
Speaker 1: he said.
Speaker 3: I wait for thisment.
Speaker 1: You knew what you were doing. And I was like, well, nigga,
Speaker 1: I've been watching porn for three years. But also I
Speaker 1: felt like ashamed. I was like, was I supposed to bleed?
Speaker 1: Like is my pussy broken? Like I don't know, And
Speaker 1: at that point of course, I'd never looked at the
Speaker 1: pussy ever and like getting a finger bringing in the sauna.
Speaker 1: Maybe I bleed bled but I don't remember ever bleeding.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I guess I didn't have Maybe my
Speaker 1: time broke hymen my hymen. I haven't heard that word,
Speaker 1: my hymen. It's one of those things you hear a
Speaker 1: lot around the time where you're gonna lose your virginity so.
Speaker 3: Much, and now as an adult, like what the fuck
Speaker 3: is that?
Speaker 1: I am no, but that was my virginity story. And
Speaker 1: then I remember, like my mom reading my journal, I
Speaker 1: know you have a lot of trauma, trauma, and I
Speaker 1: guess I said, I mentioned that I lost my virginity,
Speaker 1: and then she asked me about it and I lied,
Speaker 1: and then she like tried to make me go to
Speaker 1: the gynecologist. I'm not tried. She made me go to
Speaker 1: the gynocologist, and like I knew she was trying to
Speaker 1: like investigate whether my hymen was broken or not, and
Speaker 1: I refused to go in.
Speaker 2: You know, they're like, you know, your friends, like they
Speaker 2: can't tell your mom, it's top secret.
Speaker 1: Like again they did, they did say that. All my
Speaker 1: friends did say that, and but I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: not going in there. I'm not. We went to this
Speaker 1: Beverly Hills fucking doctor. I'll never forget. It was bougie
Speaker 1: ass office and I was like nope. And I just
Speaker 1: sat there and I was.
Speaker 3: Like, she would wouldn't go in the you would.
Speaker 1: She couldn't force me.
Speaker 2: You just sat in the waiting room the doctor and
Speaker 2: then we just left er dis yep, and you just
Speaker 2: and I sat there.
Speaker 1: Oh, this is stubborn as fuck. I was like, I
Speaker 1: am not going in there.
Speaker 3: It's just a regular check out yep.
Speaker 1: And I was like, You're not gonna fool me, bitch.
Speaker 1: Uh ah, this nigga? Are you told me that car
Speaker 1: ride home was not good?
Speaker 3: Wow?
Speaker 1: And that's my virginity story, a.
Speaker 3: Little freak my virginity story. Wow.
Speaker 2: I feel like I had some confusion around mind that
Speaker 2: I'm sorting through. I started like doing weird shit and
Speaker 2: like humping friends at a very young age, probably like six,
Speaker 2: which is very fucking strange to say out loud because
Speaker 2: I have a six year old daughter who's like not
Speaker 2: humping anything, Thank God Jesus. I also realized that I
Speaker 2: was around other cousins and friends that had sexual abuse
Speaker 2: and that they were showing me things. And so I
Speaker 2: was molested by older cousin And I was molested like
Speaker 2: as a really young child too, at like three or four,
Speaker 2: by an older boy who lived down the way from
Speaker 2: my grandmother's house.
Speaker 3: And I told my mom. But I remember being like
Speaker 3: this huge deal.
Speaker 2: Whatever the whole thing is, I can't pinpoint if my
Speaker 2: freakness came. Probably it's natural. Probably came naturally. I'm a
Speaker 2: freaky ass bitch, but I think it was heightened and
Speaker 2: it came too early because of those experiences. And so
Speaker 2: at like six or seven or eight, I was finding
Speaker 2: my parents porn humping a lot of shit, lots of
Speaker 2: pillows were being humped. And by the time I was
Speaker 2: like twelve or thirteen, again everyone's having this conversation about sex.
Speaker 2: I remember writing in my journal I went to a
Speaker 2: Lutheran school because my parents made me change from public
Speaker 2: school to Lutheran school, which was like the worst thing
Speaker 2: of my life. Like I was drawing pictures on the refrigerator.
Speaker 3: Like I hate school here, like it was intense.
Speaker 2: I wrote in my journal that I was ready to
Speaker 2: graduate from finger banging from sucking.
Speaker 3: I think I don't know if I was ready to
Speaker 3: graduate from.
Speaker 2: Titty sucking to finger banging, if I was ready to
Speaker 2: graduate from fingerbanging to fucking.
Speaker 3: I was ready to get it going.
Speaker 2: And much like Erica, I was sneaking boys into my
Speaker 2: room after football games on Friday nights.
Speaker 3: Helen niggas would come to my house.
Speaker 2: Because my parents were so smart, they gave me a
Speaker 2: bedroom that had a door to the front outside.
Speaker 3: World the door and to the house. Why the fuck
Speaker 3: would you give a teenage girl a room that has
Speaker 3: a door to the outside. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I was sneaking boys in. I got caught twice. Then
Speaker 2: I became a Christian. I was crying about it. Then
Speaker 2: I fell in love with like two niggas. My baby daddy,
Speaker 2: who I've known since I was thirteen, and this other nigga.
Speaker 2: And I remember being at a cousin's house and her
Speaker 2: older brother was there with some friend.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, his name is Darwin, and he was cute, but.
Speaker 2: He had like a lot of acne and we like
Speaker 2: went into the room and like I was like humping
Speaker 2: him and it felt good, and then he like stuck
Speaker 2: it in and like we did it, and then I
Speaker 2: was immediately I.
Speaker 3: Was like, oh, this is not special at all. I
Speaker 3: don't know him.
Speaker 2: There's actually niggas I love. Why did I do this?
Speaker 2: And I was like crying and he didn't know me
Speaker 2: at all. He was looking at me like, bitch, are
Speaker 2: you okay?
Speaker 3: And I was like I didn't want to lost my
Speaker 3: virginity like this.
Speaker 2: But then like fifteen minutes later we started humping again
Speaker 2: because he consoled me. What a nice stranger, and then
Speaker 2: I was like wanted to do it again. So I
Speaker 2: would say that my virginity and my sexual appetite started
Speaker 2: very much in confusion. And I can understand this now
Speaker 2: as an adult that like I've had a lot of
Speaker 2: conflict between like my pussy feeling good and like my
Speaker 2: mind saying no, And so as an adult that's kind
Speaker 2: of trickled along, and I probably for sure had some trauma.
Speaker 2: So that was like my official virginity losing. But I
Speaker 2: never told anyone because I was too embarrassed, and also
Speaker 2: I was confused, why did I do it again. Why
Speaker 2: did I say I want cry do it again? Because
Speaker 2: like my body and my mind were like in conflict.
Speaker 2: I later had sex with one of I can't remember
Speaker 2: it was my baby daddy or the other one who
Speaker 2: happened first. They both got got though and I was
Speaker 2: turned out immediately. Like I remember wearing lingerie under my
Speaker 2: school uniform. I like my mom would like pass down
Speaker 2: to me. My mom was like had a Victoria's to
Speaker 2: get credit cards, so she did have a bunch of
Speaker 2: gang is shit over there. I worn'der in my uniform,
Speaker 2: take the bus to see this niggat and like we're
Speaker 2: sexy outfits.
Speaker 3: We were fucking.
Speaker 2: I started fucking my baby daddy and that took place
Speaker 2: in various places, the front yard, the car, dressing rooms
Speaker 2: at the mall, the park, recreation rooms, lots of places.
Speaker 3: And then when I turned, I was turned out. Once
Speaker 3: I had sex, it was can you not call yourself turned?
Speaker 1: I was?
Speaker 2: There was a wrap like I was fucking and so
Speaker 2: much so that I met a porn star when I
Speaker 2: was like sixteen.
Speaker 3: This is like the peak of my meat getting turned out.
Speaker 2: And he had a white mom was aati so la
Speaker 2: hit a white mass rioting, and we got his number
Speaker 2: and he came and got us in another car.
Speaker 3: He had a range Rover. Where the fuck are my parents?
Speaker 3: Don't know?
Speaker 2: Pulled up to my front of my house. Me and
Speaker 2: my cousin Sheena got in. She was like significantly older
Speaker 2: than me, and we get in the car. At this point,
Speaker 2: I didn't know he was a porn star. I don't
Speaker 2: really know porn stars, but like when I as I
Speaker 2: grew up, because we're still friends, he was like a
Speaker 2: huge porn star at the time, Justin's Slayer. And I
Speaker 2: got in the front seat, all young, I don't know,
Speaker 2: and he's like, y'all look young, let me see you ID.
Speaker 2: Of course I had a fake ID and I just
Speaker 2: kept like brushing it aside, like I go to Valley.
Speaker 3: College, like I'm an adult lives and he was.
Speaker 2: I was like, do you have a girlfriend, because I
Speaker 2: thought I was so mature and grown, and he was like, baby,
Speaker 2: I got a lot of girlfriends. Do you want one?
Speaker 2: And literally my heart melted. I was like that must
Speaker 2: have been when I knew I was a ethical slight.
Speaker 2: I just didn't know the word for it. And I
Speaker 2: was like, huh, And he proceeded to take us to
Speaker 2: some sex parties. I was a junior in high school,
Speaker 2: and honestly, from there it was a rap. Like I
Speaker 2: did a lot of sex between sixteen and now, and
Speaker 2: a lot of it in my twenties. I realize, A,
Speaker 2: I don't remember. B. There was times where I'd be
Speaker 2: like sucking dick and my head was like facing out,
Speaker 2: like I didn't want to see the person's face at
Speaker 2: all because I have trauma. And there's sometimes I didn't
Speaker 2: want to do stuff, and I mean, I'm a woman,
Speaker 2: this happens to all of us. I didn't want to
Speaker 2: do it, then I would do it. Then they get
Speaker 2: kept saying please, yeah, come on, please, please the head
Speaker 2: come on. I'm like, oh, fine, fuck it, I'm here.
Speaker 2: It's my fault. All these like shame and like weird
Speaker 2: things that I no one talked to me about. My
Speaker 2: mom found birth control and I was like thirteen, yelled
Speaker 2: at me, didn't say, are you having sets?
Speaker 3: Let's talk about it, screamed at me.
Speaker 2: I got an abortion by one of those not my
Speaker 2: baby daddy, but the other guy that I was in
Speaker 2: love with. And I went to Catholic school, so I
Speaker 2: wasn't allowed to miss school. They called my mom couldn't
Speaker 2: find me. She ended up picking me up from the clinic.
Speaker 2: This was traumatizing. She was like, maybe I should put
Speaker 2: her business. This was not a good mom moment. And
Speaker 2: in fact, I brought this up as an adult and
Speaker 2: she denies it, but I'll never forget. She was like,
Speaker 2: you think it's cute to sow your baby in the trash.
Speaker 3: I was like, this is why I do. I'll tell you.
Speaker 1: Anything, my God.
Speaker 3: So that happened, and I just was wild. I just
Speaker 3: liked sex.
Speaker 2: And I remember liking sex, and I remember being turned up.
Speaker 3: And just me too.
Speaker 1: I remember after well, my heart was broken because Kyle
Speaker 1: didn't thought you were Kyle was also he was a hoe,
Speaker 1: So the guy was my Virginia too. He was also
Speaker 1: a scorpio Scorpio metatrash. He was a hoe and he
Speaker 1: was like the hoe of the all girls school Louisville,
Speaker 1: and he was fucking all these girls. Also he's fucking
Speaker 1: a lot of white girls, which is probably why trauma
Speaker 1: when it comes to like black men choosing white women
Speaker 1: over me, I'm like get very upset by it.
Speaker 3: I have that trauma because my mom used.
Speaker 1: To say that a lot to my dad m and
Speaker 1: after that I was like, well fuck you, And so
Speaker 1: that I was like, well, I'm about to just go
Speaker 1: fucking explore all my whnus And so I did, like
Speaker 1: and I think about like high school sex, like there
Speaker 1: weren't a lot of play sais to fuck. So like
Speaker 1: you're fucking in closets, you're fucking in movie theaters, You're
Speaker 1: fucking in like the most rant, You're fucking rooms with
Speaker 1: multiple friends.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I've done that.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, there's like seven people in one room
Speaker 1: having sex. That's so crazy.
Speaker 3: I can't wait to disgusting, weird, fucking gross.
Speaker 1: And because we didn't even know like three somes were
Speaker 1: an option, at least I didn't. It was just it
Speaker 1: was all separately. It was all separately. It wasn't like
Speaker 1: some yeah not through.
Speaker 3: I mean, I guess I knew I went to a
Speaker 3: sex party.
Speaker 1: But I think about all the things that I did
Speaker 1: and all the sneaking that I did, and all the
Speaker 1: lying that I did, and just manipulations for sex that
Speaker 1: I wasn't even really was I even enjoying myself? Like
Speaker 1: who knows, Like no, probably not. And I just feel
Speaker 1: like now as a parent, I talking about consent with
Speaker 1: our kids, talking about your own self pleasure with our kids.
Speaker 1: I mean, even that episode that we had with Michelle Hope,
Speaker 1: who if you guys haven't listened to, the episode is
Speaker 1: called Masturbation Matters. We did it last month, such an
Speaker 1: important conversation. She was talking about giving vibrators to teenagers
Speaker 1: so that they can explore their own sexual pleasure, so
Speaker 1: they understand what that feels like before having sex with
Speaker 1: someone else. That's going to define what your pleasure is
Speaker 1: supposed to feel. Like like I had no concept of
Speaker 1: what my sexual pleasure was until I was well into
Speaker 1: my twenties.
Speaker 2: Uh. I mean, I feel like that just came, like
Speaker 2: honestly recently and honestly, like my parents didn't talk to
Speaker 2: me about shit, but by the time.
Speaker 3: So I've known my baby daddy for many, many.
Speaker 2: Years and he was my high school speak art, he's
Speaker 2: high school boyfriend. Like after I sledd it around, I
Speaker 2: was probably still slutting around at the end. He just
Speaker 2: loved me, even though I'm sure he knew I was
Speaker 2: being wild. My parents would like for proms, and I
Speaker 2: went to like every prom junior year, senior year, sophomore year.
Speaker 2: They would get us a room, and my mom took
Speaker 2: me to get my pussy wax, so I don't. It
Speaker 2: was very confusing, and even like by the time I
Speaker 2: was a senior in high school, he was allowed to
Speaker 2: sleep over. And I'm like, first we would like sleep
Speaker 2: in the living room, one on the floor, one.
Speaker 3: On the couch, then we move to like the office.
Speaker 2: Then eventually by the time I went to college, I
Speaker 2: remember like he could sleep in my room, in my
Speaker 2: bed with the door open, which is if black people
Speaker 2: are listening, like this is some white people shit. But
Speaker 2: even at his house, his parents wouldn't let asleep in
Speaker 2: the same room. But I think at that point my
Speaker 2: parents are just like fuck it, Like Lisa's the same.
Speaker 1: Nigga, what do you think that? How would you navigate
Speaker 1: that with Luna?
Speaker 3: First of all, I would navigate it completely different. We're
Speaker 3: gonna have conversations.
Speaker 2: You're not gonna be pressed because we're gonna have conversations
Speaker 2: about it, about consent, about pleasure, about self pleasure, and honestly, like,
Speaker 2: I don't want my kid fucking at the park like
Speaker 2: I was doing. I don't want my kid to feel
Speaker 2: like she can't talk me about it because bitch I've been.
Speaker 3: Done at all. You know what does he say done
Speaker 3: done at all? That's me. I've done it and there's
Speaker 3: nothing you can't tell me.
Speaker 2: And like, kids are gonna fuck, so I would much
Speaker 2: rather like I'm not gonna like everybody come here and
Speaker 2: fuck at my house, but honestly, like you don't need
Speaker 2: to fuck in a fifty dollars hotel room with four
Speaker 2: other couples. Okay, just call me and just you know,
Speaker 2: I just want be real about it, like if you
Speaker 2: need birth control, if you want to talk about it, like,
Speaker 2: let's talk about it, because I'd rather that discomfort my mom. Obviously,
Speaker 2: it's not her fault. She came from a place, like
Speaker 2: her parents were significantly older for her age, so she
Speaker 2: came from a whole different time she lived. She grew
Speaker 2: up in Philadelphia, Like she didn't know you know that
Speaker 2: this is something you could talk I think parents think
Speaker 2: if you've talked to your kids about sex.
Speaker 3: You're encouraging them to do it. And that's just not realistic.
Speaker 2: Like you're going to discover that feeling, slash the orgasm
Speaker 2: at some point, and so let's just talk about it.
Speaker 1: You know what. It's so funny and the other day,
Speaker 1: I was, you know, me and Iri, we always are
Speaker 1: talking about her body parts and how like I was
Speaker 1: always I was telling her. I've been showing her consistently
Speaker 1: how to clean her vagina and like in the shower
Speaker 1: and like I was cleaning her, I was helping her,
Speaker 1: and she was like, ooh, that feels good. And I
Speaker 1: was like no, no oh. I was like, oh god,
Speaker 1: and I was like and I didn't say anything because
Speaker 1: I it was it was such a casual moment that
Speaker 1: didn't need to be acknowledged per se. But the fact
Speaker 1: that she said that, I was like, oh shit.
Speaker 3: She's just like, yeah, it does.
Speaker 1: She knows she feels pleasure. She knows what that feel
Speaker 1: like and right. But like, as a parent, it's not
Speaker 1: something that like I think as parents, we think there's
Speaker 1: certain time frames that things are supposed to happen. And
Speaker 1: I think that's why parents often wait, like Okay, well
Speaker 1: I'll talk to my daughter about sex when she's like fourteen,
Speaker 1: and then she'll have sex when maybe she's like eighteen.
Speaker 2: We've socialized, like socially, we've socialized certain things, and I
Speaker 2: think we think pleasure is like sexual pleasure has to
Speaker 2: include another person. But sexuality and sex are not like
Speaker 2: it's not the same, and we have to acknowledge that,
Speaker 2: like there's sexuality just then that we inherently have solo
Speaker 2: and you have to address it, like it's dumb to
Speaker 2: take away the pleasure in all things because if I
Speaker 2: touch you, you're gonna.
Speaker 1: Feel it, you know.
Speaker 2: And it's just like we sexualize children, and we sexualize
Speaker 2: any type of intimacy, and we sexualize any type of
Speaker 2: intimate pleasure, and those two need to be separated.
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, like even her say it felt good?
Speaker 1: Was it? Like her being sexual? IS's simply acknowledging her body,
Speaker 1: which is a sexual body, and the sensation of pleasure.
Speaker 2: And that's why I think it's so important as parents,
Speaker 2: as people, as adults that we stop sexualizing children and
Speaker 2: literally we stop sexualizing.
Speaker 3: Just everything because your conditioned.
Speaker 2: To believe that, and like reevaluate how you approach sex,
Speaker 2: how you approach sexuality even in your grown ass selves.
Speaker 2: You know, like I've said this four hundred times. You know,
Speaker 2: a bitch's titties come out at any party. If the
Speaker 2: heat goes over eighty two degrees, my shirt comes off,
Speaker 2: and no matter who's around, if I'm in a comfortable,
Speaker 2: safe setting. But I think I've had people think that
Speaker 2: it's sexual or attention seeking and sometimes, bitch, I'm just naked,
Speaker 2: and like, don't project your the Western world's like understanding
Speaker 2: of sex and sexuality on kids or anyone or yourself,
Speaker 2: because we're so.
Speaker 3: Much more than that.
Speaker 1: Amen.
Speaker 2: So that concludes where our horrishness began, our early childhood
Speaker 2: adolescent freakiness.
Speaker 1: I hope that you'll share. I want to hear about
Speaker 1: your virginity story. So if you guys have any virginity
Speaker 1: stories that you'd like to share that we can share
Speaker 1: throughout the month, please please share them. Also, this is
Speaker 1: a great month to send those hories in, So if
Speaker 1: you have any hories that you would like to share,
Speaker 1: And if you don't know what a hoy is, it
Speaker 1: is a highly hosh host hoos story that is either
Speaker 1: funny or just great or just level ten hoish and
Speaker 1: we love that.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I still remember the host story of
Speaker 2: the gardener and the Sodacan.
Speaker 1: Oh god, what episode was that you won't have to
Speaker 1: bring have to like bring some like hories out of
Speaker 1: retirement that.
Speaker 2: One needs to become out of retirement. That was one
Speaker 2: of my favorite. Anyway, thank you for sharing. And you know,
Speaker 2: if you're just joining us, you're new to the show,
Speaker 2: this is a safe space.
Speaker 3: So if you're in your car at.
Speaker 2: Home judging the shit out of us for telling all
Speaker 2: our business, don't, just know that this is a safe
Speaker 2: space that you can come and tell whatever the fuck
Speaker 2: you want. You can feel comfortable in your skin and
Speaker 2: your experiences in your stories because there's none too weird
Speaker 2: or too hory, or too graphic or too dirty to
Speaker 2: talk to us about. As we understand, everyone has different
Speaker 2: life experiences and all are welcome.
Speaker 1: Yes, And you know what I did actually add a
Speaker 1: hoary channel to the Slack group. So if you guys
Speaker 1: are on Patreon and you're part of our slack community
Speaker 1: where we all talk per day, you can share your
Speaker 1: hories there. We are sharing hories talking about them and
Speaker 1: it's fun. I love it over there.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, anyway, we will catch you next week. I love you.
Speaker 2: Leave this episode a review, rate and review us goddamn it,
Speaker 2: because it's important. If you're not already, follow us on Instagram.
Speaker 2: It's Good Mom's Underscore Bad Choices, and we're Good Mom's
Speaker 2: Bad Choices on all podcasting platforms If you have a
Speaker 2: friend that hasn't heard us yet, they need to hear
Speaker 2: about our horrishness as teenagers or any other horrishness. Please
Speaker 2: share this episode and all of your favorite episod so
Speaker 2: it's because sharing is caring and we love you.
Speaker 3: And he's the busy playing at least, so.
Speaker 2: Mortify your destiny.
Speaker 1: You can't get no sleep.
Speaker 3: Don't take a seat because they will cream walk the
Speaker 3: dust off my eyes.
Speaker 1: Just let it rise, don't.
Speaker 4: Let it die, Dolls los tree, y'all's gone back.
Speaker 3: And I'm the buzzing plane like grow grow. I've got
Speaker 3: the sin and the busy.
Speaker 2: Growl.
Speaker 1: He's got the seed.
Speaker 3: Been an un deposing playing Make it roll gold
Speaker 1: Mm hmm