1 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:18,520 Speaker 1: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and 2 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:23,960 Speaker 1: I'm Mila, and it's Wednesday. Happy hump Day, Happy hump 3 00:00:24,079 --> 00:00:27,319 Speaker 1: Day and happy What are we calling this month? Like 4 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:28,120 Speaker 1: Sexy June. 5 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:29,920 Speaker 2: We've been trying to figure this out for a month, 6 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:34,000 Speaker 2: Like Hot mom Summer, Sexy June summertime Fine, which Erica 7 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:34,400 Speaker 2: was not. 8 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:34,720 Speaker 3: A fan of. 9 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:37,200 Speaker 1: I mean it's growing on me. I guess it's nineties 10 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:39,000 Speaker 1: and I love the nineties, so it just feels. 11 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,720 Speaker 3: Bring the back whole hot Summer. 12 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:42,839 Speaker 1: If you have joined us on our dick Challenge, our 13 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:45,680 Speaker 1: Dick Talks Challenge, it's over. So I don't know if 14 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:46,960 Speaker 1: you guys are back to fucking. I don't know if 15 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:49,559 Speaker 1: you guys are back to making better choices. But our 16 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:52,040 Speaker 1: main challenge, our May Dick Talk Challenge, is over. I 17 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:54,080 Speaker 1: just want to thank everyone that joined me on the journey. 18 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:56,120 Speaker 1: Thank you so much. I love you. I loved our 19 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:59,200 Speaker 1: weekly zoom calls. If you joined our slack, then you 20 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:01,360 Speaker 1: know that we're contained. You mean, the conversation over there 21 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:05,119 Speaker 1: and I'm just feeling real sexy and Jim and. 22 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,760 Speaker 2: Just because May is over doesn't mean you have to 23 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:09,839 Speaker 2: give up your dick took no. I feel like after 24 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:12,160 Speaker 2: the first thirty days it gets easier. So it's like, 25 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:16,200 Speaker 2: once you hit thirty day mark, are you even horny anymore? 26 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:18,400 Speaker 3: You could just like go for a full year after that. 27 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:20,800 Speaker 1: Mostly I think you're horny. You're just like more horny 28 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:23,920 Speaker 1: for yourself, and it's just like you're just not really 29 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:26,840 Speaker 1: inviting just any kind of residual energy and you got 30 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:28,920 Speaker 1: to really be with the shits. 31 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:33,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, you're more intentional with the pussy by this time. Congratulations, 32 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,520 Speaker 2: congratulations house. 33 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:39,520 Speaker 1: Shall we pull a tero my love? 34 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:48,280 Speaker 3: Yes, we shall. My shoveling still isn't better? Okay. The 35 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:49,360 Speaker 3: card today. 36 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:55,160 Speaker 2: Is the World, which is number this twenty one, Yes, okay, 37 00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:57,800 Speaker 2: it's twenty one the World, and it's a woman with 38 00:01:57,920 --> 00:01:58,720 Speaker 2: two sticks. 39 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:01,440 Speaker 1: She looks bountiful, bountiful. 40 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:02,480 Speaker 3: She just looks happy. 41 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:06,920 Speaker 1: Well. According to the description of the World card, upright 42 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:13,000 Speaker 1: represents completion, integration, accomplishment, and travel. 43 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:16,000 Speaker 3: Oh huh, look at there. Hah hah. 44 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:21,480 Speaker 1: Me and Mila just signed a very important contract today 45 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:23,480 Speaker 1: which I don't know if we can share it with 46 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:25,600 Speaker 1: you guys, but the moment we can, we will, and 47 00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:28,120 Speaker 1: I hope that you're excited as well. And it is 48 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:32,400 Speaker 1: a huge accomplishment and we are about to go travel 49 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:35,359 Speaker 1: to complete it. So this card feels very very on 50 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:36,160 Speaker 1: time for us. 51 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:40,160 Speaker 2: It says inner and outer wealth, inner and outer wealth. Wow, 52 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,360 Speaker 2: that's a good ass card to pull because a lot 53 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:44,760 Speaker 2: of people have outer wealth, and that don't always mean 54 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:47,519 Speaker 2: you have any shoutdown, and Lord knows I need both 55 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:51,400 Speaker 2: joy recognition, being in harmony with the universe because we 56 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:55,440 Speaker 2: have manifested the fuck out of this finding balance, enlightenment, 57 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:59,720 Speaker 2: achieving goals, union of body, mind and soul. You, the 58 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,799 Speaker 2: world and the intangible are one. Become the creator of 59 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:05,799 Speaker 2: your own world and master the daily life. Without you, 60 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:07,480 Speaker 2: the universe would be missing something. 61 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:09,920 Speaker 3: I think it means we're walking in our purpose. 62 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:13,359 Speaker 2: Dear, I mean, duh, I think we found our calling 63 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:15,040 Speaker 2: talking shit on the internet. 64 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:17,399 Speaker 3: It's beautiful. Thank you God, Thank you God. I knew. 65 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:19,560 Speaker 2: I told someone the other day. I was like, you know, 66 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:21,400 Speaker 2: in my twenties, I did a bunch of shit. I 67 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:23,519 Speaker 2: barely said no to shit just because it sounded fun 68 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:26,880 Speaker 2: and I needed to accumulate experiences. And at that time 69 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:29,440 Speaker 2: I didn't know why I had all these stories. 70 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:31,000 Speaker 3: And God is like, here you go. 71 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:33,800 Speaker 2: You're all the stupid shit you did in your twenties 72 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,560 Speaker 2: that everyone was like, what the fuck is wrong with you? 73 00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:38,680 Speaker 2: This is why, because I knew the world needed to 74 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:41,960 Speaker 2: hear my whole stories in my thirties. It's so important 75 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:45,480 Speaker 2: that I share my crazy, wild experiences. And that's why 76 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:47,520 Speaker 2: God let me have them, because he knew I needed 77 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:49,600 Speaker 2: to live a little and I needed to share a lot. 78 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:54,400 Speaker 1: Amen. Amen, speaking of our youth and host stories. Yesterday, 79 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:57,600 Speaker 1: I had dinner with one of my best friends who's 80 00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:01,560 Speaker 1: visiting from Germany. Shout out to my boy Jared and 81 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:05,640 Speaker 1: I don't really share this information a lot, but I 82 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:09,280 Speaker 1: used to like be a singer, oh yeah, and apparently 83 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:13,000 Speaker 1: a rapper because I went back into he opened up 84 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,080 Speaker 1: our SoundCloud, which still exists, which maybe I'll share in 85 00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:19,560 Speaker 1: the episode description because actually I'm kind of proud. I 86 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:21,400 Speaker 1: went back and listened. I was like, wait, we were 87 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:23,320 Speaker 1: kind of good. We might be at Coachella this year. 88 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:26,960 Speaker 1: Had we just continued, I swear to fucking got we 89 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:29,520 Speaker 1: were ahead of our time. I'm telling you I was, 90 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:32,960 Speaker 1: baby Calie, all right, can you stop? I'm not kidding. 91 00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:35,240 Speaker 3: I keep telling you we need to use one of 92 00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:35,640 Speaker 3: the tracks. 93 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:38,400 Speaker 1: Okay, well, maybe we'll use Maybe we'll use it so 94 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:40,719 Speaker 1: we've been using before. You know what, maybe we'll outro 95 00:04:40,839 --> 00:04:43,440 Speaker 1: this episode with one of the songs. Because a bitch 96 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:46,960 Speaker 1: was proud. Last night I was listening, and not only that, 97 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:50,760 Speaker 1: was I ridiculously sex positive. Like I was talking about 98 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:54,080 Speaker 1: like coming sucking dick, Like yeah, there's this one song 99 00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:57,920 Speaker 1: called focus, and it's like keep your mind in folks, 100 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:01,040 Speaker 1: trying not to let go of this, take it all 101 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:06,679 Speaker 1: the way down your throat, like hocus pops. Okay, whoa 102 00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:09,719 Speaker 1: that I wasn't a freak, but then I let him 103 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:11,600 Speaker 1: taste my Okay, I don't even want So you. 104 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:12,880 Speaker 3: Were a witch and you were stitch. 105 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:16,120 Speaker 1: I was proudly so sex positive and like I didn't 106 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:18,039 Speaker 1: know my life was gonna lead me here, but I 107 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:20,320 Speaker 1: think I was practicing then. Then I was listening to 108 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:23,239 Speaker 1: these rap skills. I was like, baby daddy, who nigga, 109 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:26,640 Speaker 1: I'm the O g rapper bitch. No wonder he never 110 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:28,640 Speaker 1: supported me because he knew I was bad at And 111 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:32,440 Speaker 1: you know now now I'm telling you, I'm proud. I was, 112 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:33,840 Speaker 1: like I told you, I was like, maybe we should 113 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,520 Speaker 1: like remix these and like put them out. I think 114 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:39,240 Speaker 1: I'm gonna move our Spotify playlist, which, by the way, 115 00:05:39,279 --> 00:05:41,039 Speaker 1: if you guys haven't checked out our playlist, you guys 116 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:43,760 Speaker 1: should their bomb. I just put one out in May 117 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:46,400 Speaker 1: called Mama's Flowers. But I'm thinking I might have to 118 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:48,960 Speaker 1: take our playlist to SoundCloud because SoundCloud low key has 119 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,120 Speaker 1: way better selection. 120 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:52,680 Speaker 3: Of music DJ music like mixes that you want to hear. 121 00:05:52,839 --> 00:05:55,599 Speaker 1: Yeah, and then I can just sprinkle in my shit. 122 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:56,720 Speaker 3: I'm here for it. 123 00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:59,400 Speaker 2: When you guys drop the like, drop the remixes, just 124 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,599 Speaker 2: give me a feed you and you know I fully 125 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:02,600 Speaker 2: support your baby. 126 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:04,080 Speaker 3: Calise rap dreams. 127 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,159 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I had songs about like only like 128 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:07,520 Speaker 1: having sex with rich people. 129 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:11,159 Speaker 2: I had. I had some deep shit I had like 130 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:14,960 Speaker 2: I had some stuff of a manifestation planting seas Okay, yeah. 131 00:06:14,839 --> 00:06:17,040 Speaker 1: Girl, I was on some ship. I don't know what happened, 132 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:18,560 Speaker 1: but I know for sure I would be at Coachella 133 00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:21,599 Speaker 1: this year if I had just kept going. I'm not kidding. 134 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:21,960 Speaker 1: I know. 135 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,640 Speaker 3: You're just dead serious, do you. 136 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:28,840 Speaker 2: Because you're so good at manifesting, can you lead us 137 00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:32,000 Speaker 2: into our affirmation for the day. Yes, because you're so 138 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:34,800 Speaker 2: sex positive and you're so good at manifesting even before 139 00:06:34,839 --> 00:06:35,720 Speaker 2: you knew you were doing it. 140 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:41,960 Speaker 1: Oh yep, yep, yep. So today's affirmation is I only 141 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:45,960 Speaker 1: invite bomb ass sex into my life. 142 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:47,840 Speaker 3: Oh can we get a hallelujah? 143 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:54,440 Speaker 1: I only invite bomb ass sex into my life. Okay, 144 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:57,239 Speaker 1: especially after this dick talks. Okay, don't waste the pussy 145 00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:59,600 Speaker 1: on some on some not bombs at. 146 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,000 Speaker 3: Don't have time for it. Actually, someone asked me last night. 147 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:04,920 Speaker 2: I asked me last night, how often do you give 148 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,640 Speaker 2: up the pussy and then it's disappointing? 149 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:10,080 Speaker 3: And I said, honestly, I'm gonna have to go. 150 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:12,560 Speaker 2: With an eighty to ninety percent rate. I could have 151 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:16,120 Speaker 2: wiped out ninety percent of motherfuck as I fucked. Luckily 152 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:20,160 Speaker 2: for you, there's stories for them, but ninety percent of 153 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,320 Speaker 2: the thing is I fucked were not satisfying. I can't 154 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:24,680 Speaker 2: even remember, like I could probably remember five good fucks. 155 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:26,640 Speaker 3: What about you like me? 156 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,200 Speaker 1: You know what? Someone asked me that. So I was 157 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,720 Speaker 1: on a date recently and I asked him, I said, 158 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:33,880 Speaker 1: what are your like worst sex stories? And he shared 159 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:36,480 Speaker 1: some that were very like scary and like some girl 160 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,680 Speaker 1: like took out a fork and knife and said she 161 00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:42,280 Speaker 1: wanted to eat his dick. That was crazy? What yeah? Now, 162 00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:44,080 Speaker 1: Like I was like, can I see your dick? Like 163 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:44,920 Speaker 1: what's going on with your dick? 164 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:45,120 Speaker 2: Too? 165 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:46,680 Speaker 1: I don't know, but now I haven't. 166 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:48,280 Speaker 3: I didn't ask what happened next. 167 00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:51,000 Speaker 1: He said he left, but like I have questions now. 168 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,880 Speaker 1: I'm like I kind of wanted to be like can 169 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:54,520 Speaker 1: I see your dick? Like what's going on with the dick? 170 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:54,640 Speaker 4: Like? 171 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,520 Speaker 1: Why does she want to eat it? Maybe it's beautiful, 172 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:58,120 Speaker 1: That's what I mean. That's what he was alluding to. 173 00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:01,760 Speaker 1: But anyway, he asked me what my bad sex story 174 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:05,240 Speaker 1: was were, And of course I've had like not great sex, 175 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:08,280 Speaker 1: but I don't know, like I haven't had like a 176 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:11,480 Speaker 1: lot of bad sex. I don't think. I don't think. 177 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:14,200 Speaker 1: I think because I've just been manifesting good sex in 178 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,560 Speaker 1: my life from such a young age, I don't know if. 179 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:19,920 Speaker 3: It's necessarily been bad sex. I bring the sex just. 180 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:21,320 Speaker 1: Like That's what I'm saying, Like I feel like I 181 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:24,040 Speaker 1: can get myself there. You I don't know, like, of 182 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:27,480 Speaker 1: course I've had bad experiences like you know, people sweating 183 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:30,760 Speaker 1: all over my face or like you know, like asking 184 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:32,800 Speaker 1: me to like talk a lot when I don't want 185 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:35,280 Speaker 1: to talk and like, you know, just like you know, 186 00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:38,560 Speaker 1: sizing not being you know, compatible to me and all 187 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:43,840 Speaker 1: those things. But I just feel like I haven't had 188 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:47,640 Speaker 1: terrible sex my I don't know, it's been okay. 189 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:52,120 Speaker 2: I honestly, I'll be completely one hundred, like ninety eight 190 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:55,800 Speaker 2: percent of my sex is like foggy, I was drunk. 191 00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:00,920 Speaker 3: I was blacked out. A lot of those times not great. 192 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:01,959 Speaker 1: And you know what, you know what, Also there's that 193 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:07,680 Speaker 1: because I have a terrible memory, which is a whole 194 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:10,719 Speaker 1: other topic which terrifies me and scares me that I'm 195 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:13,360 Speaker 1: not gonna remember half my life. Thank god we're podcasting 196 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:15,560 Speaker 1: because I'll I can like go back and listen to 197 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:18,040 Speaker 1: what the fuck I did. But there's a lot of 198 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:20,200 Speaker 1: things I don't remember, and there's people I don't remember. 199 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:22,400 Speaker 1: Like there'd be people that will be like come up 200 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:24,400 Speaker 1: to me and be like, don't you remember this person 201 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:27,080 Speaker 1: or you slept with that person? And I'm like who. 202 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:29,680 Speaker 2: I totally knew I had a problem when I called 203 00:09:29,679 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 2: my homegirl that I used to work with, and I said. 204 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,439 Speaker 3: Hey, girl, I just got a weird dream. I just 205 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:35,600 Speaker 3: want to know, did I fuck. 206 00:09:35,559 --> 00:09:38,680 Speaker 2: Our bartender that we worked with at this job. She said, yes, bitch, 207 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:41,280 Speaker 2: you did one time. I was like, thank you, I'll 208 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:41,920 Speaker 2: call you back. 209 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:45,480 Speaker 3: It dawned on me, Wow, how many of those are there? 210 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:49,480 Speaker 3: Probably quite a few, which you know is fine. I 211 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:52,560 Speaker 3: drink less than I did then. I was a wild child. 212 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:53,080 Speaker 1: I was. 213 00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:55,240 Speaker 2: I'll be the first to say I was sledting it 214 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:58,840 Speaker 2: out hardcore. You know, I've graduated to being an ethical 215 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:01,760 Speaker 2: slut being. I'm trying to be more ethical. Erica has 216 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:03,640 Speaker 2: come to the conclusion that she thinks that I'm toxic, 217 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,040 Speaker 2: which could be true. 218 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:06,559 Speaker 1: Did I come to that conclusion? 219 00:10:06,679 --> 00:10:08,280 Speaker 3: You said it to me in the car yesterday? 220 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:11,640 Speaker 1: I said, toxic tendencies. 221 00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:14,560 Speaker 3: I'm working on it. It's not my fault. 222 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,839 Speaker 1: I think that you will like a little drama, like 223 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:19,120 Speaker 1: a little spice. Do you like a little sprinkle drama? 224 00:10:19,559 --> 00:10:20,400 Speaker 3: I don't like drama. 225 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:20,680 Speaker 1: I like. 226 00:10:20,679 --> 00:10:22,040 Speaker 3: I don't like a little psycho love. 227 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:26,760 Speaker 1: That's psycho's drama. Bit I don't usually psycho equals drama. 228 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:29,480 Speaker 2: I want you to love me so bad you're gonna 229 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:31,440 Speaker 2: go crazy, but like, don't act crazy to me. 230 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:32,360 Speaker 3: I don't have time for that. 231 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,320 Speaker 1: Speaking of which is well, I guess we'll talk off 232 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:37,320 Speaker 1: air about this, But I'm just wondering what you know, 233 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:40,520 Speaker 1: your little psycho, the psychonist that has led to the 234 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:43,520 Speaker 1: drama that is occurring that apparently doesn't happen in your life. 235 00:10:43,679 --> 00:10:46,200 Speaker 1: No drama. How's that going for you today? 236 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,360 Speaker 2: First of all, there's no drama because I am ignoring 237 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:53,600 Speaker 2: the whole fucking situation. But if I must confess because 238 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,800 Speaker 2: Erica has asked me when she didn't wait till laughter, 239 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:56,720 Speaker 2: because she doesn't. 240 00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:58,360 Speaker 3: Give a fuck about my feelings. 241 00:11:00,679 --> 00:11:04,920 Speaker 2: So my toxicity probably includes me falling in love a lot, 242 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:05,439 Speaker 2: not a lot. 243 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:06,280 Speaker 3: I do love people. 244 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:08,199 Speaker 2: I'd be loving people, I'd be wanting to liberate them 245 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:09,920 Speaker 2: because I feel like I've found that a lot of 246 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:12,480 Speaker 2: people have a hard time being free and have a 247 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:16,560 Speaker 2: hard time like igniting life like they're not they're lust 248 00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:18,960 Speaker 2: for life, and I feel like, naturally I have that 249 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:23,240 Speaker 2: really Well, shit happens, but always I'm happy to be here, 250 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:26,319 Speaker 2: and always I'm trying to find the highest height of 251 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:28,720 Speaker 2: what my life experience could be, whether it be in 252 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:31,840 Speaker 2: sex and friendship. Like I'm generally the type of person 253 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:34,600 Speaker 2: that like, I'm gonna milk the fuck out of this life. Okay, 254 00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:37,920 Speaker 2: I'm only here for this time, looking like this, doing 255 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:40,680 Speaker 2: this one time, I'm gonna do everything I fucking can 256 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:42,560 Speaker 2: to make it as great as I can. 257 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:44,880 Speaker 3: Anyway, I don't know if any if you're on our 258 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:45,680 Speaker 3: close friends. 259 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:49,960 Speaker 2: But some time ago, a few months ago, I first 260 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:53,160 Speaker 2: I cheated on that boyfriend. Then I was sad, so 261 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:56,839 Speaker 2: I went to the Internet with my sadness. I met 262 00:11:56,880 --> 00:12:00,200 Speaker 2: a niggain in my DMS. He was entertaining me. I 263 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,839 Speaker 2: was trying to get over the last guy, and he said, 264 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:05,520 Speaker 2: come visit me in blah blah blah blah blah. 265 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:07,280 Speaker 3: So what do I do? 266 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:08,080 Speaker 1: Duh? 267 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:11,040 Speaker 2: I say, Yeah, which better way to get over another 268 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:14,240 Speaker 2: niggas to get under another one and go to a trip. 269 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:17,960 Speaker 2: Did I have other things going on in my life 270 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:21,720 Speaker 2: that needed prioritizing? Sure, I just moved. Did I needed furniture? 271 00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:25,400 Speaker 2: But first the first recovery, dick right. 272 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:26,240 Speaker 1: Very important. 273 00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:29,719 Speaker 2: I fully endorsed this message, so literally, I got the 274 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:32,680 Speaker 2: keys to my apartment on like Monday Wednesday morning, I 275 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:36,640 Speaker 2: went to get under somebody. So I traveled. I spent 276 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,000 Speaker 2: a couple a few days with this gentleman. We had 277 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:39,800 Speaker 2: a really good time. 278 00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:40,520 Speaker 3: We did. 279 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:42,880 Speaker 2: He's totally opposite me. Which is something I guess I 280 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:44,439 Speaker 2: tend to do a lot. I just find people who 281 00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:45,520 Speaker 2: are nothing like me, and I'm. 282 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:47,280 Speaker 3: Like, come here, let me pull you out of your shell. 283 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:48,600 Speaker 1: Come come out of the cage. 284 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:51,560 Speaker 3: Take off your shirt, take off your pants, run wild. 285 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:53,640 Speaker 3: It'll be fun. And that's what I do. 286 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,400 Speaker 2: And then they do and they get a taste of 287 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:59,480 Speaker 2: freedom and life and like vibrantness, and they're like, ooh, Mila, 288 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:00,480 Speaker 2: like how that tastes. 289 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:01,679 Speaker 3: Let me get a little more. 290 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:05,559 Speaker 2: Let me And then they get greedy and they want 291 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:08,560 Speaker 2: to eat me alive and keep me forever. And it's 292 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:11,559 Speaker 2: just that's not how I work. I'm a wild animal, 293 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:15,439 Speaker 2: free spirit witch, and you can't put me in a cage. Anyway, 294 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:19,160 Speaker 2: that happened. We had a good time. I told him 295 00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:22,560 Speaker 2: I loved him, because I do be loving people. Anyway, 296 00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:29,480 Speaker 2: he really really got entangled into Mila, and shortly after 297 00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:31,600 Speaker 2: at that time, I told him, like, I'm open. I 298 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:33,800 Speaker 2: just got out of something. I don't want any type 299 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:36,319 Speaker 2: of relationship. I have another person. I went on the 300 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,960 Speaker 2: trip with another person. I made that clear. I was 301 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:43,040 Speaker 2: really indulging in my ethical slight open, radical honesty that 302 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:46,240 Speaker 2: he was aware of Somewhere along the way is another 303 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:50,640 Speaker 2: guy that I'm actually truly really in love with, and 304 00:13:50,679 --> 00:13:52,560 Speaker 2: so I kind of fell off, you know. And I 305 00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:54,679 Speaker 2: don't like to be obligated to do anything. I don't 306 00:13:54,679 --> 00:13:56,480 Speaker 2: want to have to call you every day. I don't 307 00:13:56,520 --> 00:14:00,280 Speaker 2: want to have to check in. So that naturally fell 308 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:01,800 Speaker 2: off for me because I have shit going on in 309 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,800 Speaker 2: my life. He came here to visit one time, which 310 00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:08,880 Speaker 2: was fine. Still, I don't want anything that you expect. 311 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:12,840 Speaker 1: Never settled, didn't say a word shit, I didn't say 312 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,680 Speaker 1: one fucking word. 313 00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:17,600 Speaker 2: Here's a man of little words. I think that's another thing. 314 00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:19,480 Speaker 2: I like men of little words, because what are. 315 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,320 Speaker 3: You thinking in there? Let me tell me? Talk to me? 316 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:26,000 Speaker 2: Anyway, he came, he left. That was probably about like 317 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:28,400 Speaker 2: three months ago, two or three months ago. At this point, 318 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:31,720 Speaker 2: I told him he has expectations. I was like, look, 319 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:35,200 Speaker 2: I am very busy. We're living very different lives. He 320 00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:37,000 Speaker 2: wants different things out of life, you know, and I 321 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,080 Speaker 2: think I kind of like spark that for him. Some 322 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,400 Speaker 2: people are content doing what they've been doing for twenty 323 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:43,680 Speaker 2: years and they don't want anything more. And I don't 324 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:46,960 Speaker 2: understand it, but like everyone has their thing, you know, 325 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:48,880 Speaker 2: and I think that he was just settling. And I 326 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:50,680 Speaker 2: think he knew he was settling, but he hadn't had 327 00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:52,960 Speaker 2: a woman like me say, look at me living my 328 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,560 Speaker 2: best life, and you look like you're settling, you should 329 00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:58,800 Speaker 2: probably maybe get thirsty or and hungrier because life has 330 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,040 Speaker 2: so much more to offer you. And obviously, like, I 331 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:02,680 Speaker 2: didn't say it like that because that sounds mean. And 332 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:04,160 Speaker 2: you know, I'm always worried about being mean because I'm 333 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,880 Speaker 2: a people plaser, which is probably why I didn't directly, upfront, 334 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:09,000 Speaker 2: straight up say hey, I'm in love with someone else, 335 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:15,600 Speaker 2: just leave me alone. So now yesterday, out of nowhere, 336 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:17,680 Speaker 2: I get a text, Hey, what's up? 337 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:19,680 Speaker 3: Hey, how are you? I'm good? 338 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:23,680 Speaker 2: What kind of weed do you smell? Where's those mushrooms 339 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:25,680 Speaker 2: that you have? Where do you get those? I'm like, 340 00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:26,960 Speaker 2: I'm the plug. 341 00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:29,400 Speaker 3: I have a lot of plugs. I smoke hybrids. 342 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:33,080 Speaker 2: Now he's like, okay, keep in mind, this person did 343 00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:36,760 Speaker 2: none of these things. I also encourage all my niggas 344 00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:38,280 Speaker 2: to take psychedelics. 345 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:39,800 Speaker 3: And he's like, because. 346 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,920 Speaker 1: I speaking of psychedelics, DMS. 347 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:48,040 Speaker 2: DMS for the psychedelics or black market advertising, our sponsors 348 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:51,920 Speaker 2: are gonna pull out, like these pictures anyway, disregardless of kidding. 349 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:52,640 Speaker 3: No, we're not. 350 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:54,960 Speaker 2: He's like, well, oh, I just wanted to know because 351 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:57,480 Speaker 2: I'm gonna need to know the plug in about four hours. 352 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:02,160 Speaker 2: Excuse me, sir, you're gonna need to know what in 353 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:03,680 Speaker 2: four hours? Why would you need to know that? You 354 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:05,400 Speaker 2: don't live in the state that I live in. In fact, 355 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:07,560 Speaker 2: the only time you've even visited this state in the 356 00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:09,600 Speaker 2: last ten years is because of me? 357 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:11,920 Speaker 3: Yours truly? Which what do you mean? 358 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:14,880 Speaker 2: Uh? It took some time to get back to that response, 359 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:16,560 Speaker 2: probably because at that point he realized it. 360 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:17,640 Speaker 3: Sounded a little crazy. 361 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,480 Speaker 2: I haven't talked to you in months, and the last 362 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:21,720 Speaker 2: time I talked to you just said like, I don't 363 00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:22,600 Speaker 2: have a lot of time for this. 364 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:25,400 Speaker 3: And the next time you hit me up, you're here, 365 00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:26,880 Speaker 3: You're in my city. 366 00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:31,680 Speaker 2: So yeah, this is the toxicity that she speaks of. Again, 367 00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:33,680 Speaker 2: I don't really feel like it's my fault. I feel 368 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:35,800 Speaker 2: like this is I don't pop up in my house, 369 00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:36,320 Speaker 2: I'll kill you. 370 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:38,320 Speaker 1: I don't think it's your fault. I just think that 371 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,240 Speaker 1: I don't know how many times I have to tell 372 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:44,200 Speaker 1: you that you are fucking magical, and when you sprinkle 373 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:48,360 Speaker 1: your magic on niggas that are in a little shell, 374 00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:52,440 Speaker 1: and they get that little click from you, niggas will 375 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:55,440 Speaker 1: be crazy. Just remember that episode. Bitches be crazy or 376 00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:57,960 Speaker 1: whatever the fuck. Bitches be psycho. Niggas be psycho too. 377 00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:01,880 Speaker 1: When they get the knight fairy fairy dust sprinkled on 378 00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:05,480 Speaker 1: that very pussy may get the fairy pussy sprinkled, they 379 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:09,240 Speaker 1: be tripping. So all I'm saying is, you know, be 380 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:12,800 Speaker 1: more careful with the how you sprinkle, and also be 381 00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:14,480 Speaker 1: careful who you tell you love, who you say I 382 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:16,800 Speaker 1: love you too, because I realize that when you say 383 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,040 Speaker 1: I love you, like sometimes it is like in love, 384 00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:20,880 Speaker 1: but then sometimes it is just like I love you, 385 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:22,960 Speaker 1: like I love you, and like I think I've even 386 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:26,040 Speaker 1: under like I've opened myself up to being able to 387 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:28,359 Speaker 1: say that, because I used to reserve the word love 388 00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:31,800 Speaker 1: for like very specific type of love, and I don't 389 00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:33,760 Speaker 1: really do that anymore. But I also know that I 390 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:35,800 Speaker 1: have to be careful who I say that to, because 391 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:39,320 Speaker 1: not everybody understands that, especially when you're having sex with 392 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,000 Speaker 1: them and I don't and like looking in their eyes 393 00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:44,080 Speaker 1: and saying I love you, and like maybe like holding 394 00:17:44,119 --> 00:17:47,639 Speaker 1: them and like dreading their hair and like looking in 395 00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:50,040 Speaker 1: their eyes when you're having sex and saying I love you. 396 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:52,920 Speaker 3: Relax. I did all that. 397 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:56,880 Speaker 2: I did twist his hair. I'm a cancer. I'm the 398 00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:59,600 Speaker 2: mother of all the signs. I like to nurture into 399 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:03,280 Speaker 2: hole and to cuddle and to like encourage and motivate. 400 00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,879 Speaker 2: But it doesn't mean I'm here to stay. It means 401 00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:08,280 Speaker 2: figure your shit out and live better. 402 00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:09,879 Speaker 1: Yeah, I know the niggas should not have come. That's 403 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,760 Speaker 1: out of pocket. That's crazy, that's crazy, I mean. 404 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:14,120 Speaker 2: And then I today, I'm like, who are you here? 405 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:17,960 Speaker 2: With himself? So I don't know if there's expectation to 406 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,399 Speaker 2: see me. I don't really. Here's one thing about me. 407 00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:22,199 Speaker 2: I care, care, care, I love, love, love. But when 408 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:27,480 Speaker 2: I don't care anymore, I can't care. There's nothing I 409 00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:29,679 Speaker 2: can do about it. I'm sorry I can't see you. 410 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:32,119 Speaker 2: I'm booked and busy. You should have called first, you 411 00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:35,000 Speaker 2: should have not come. This was not my intention, but 412 00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:36,920 Speaker 2: you know, Erica told me months ago, called the nigga 413 00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:39,240 Speaker 2: and say there's somebody else, And because I'm too nice. 414 00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:39,399 Speaker 1: I did it. 415 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:43,600 Speaker 2: And so I take full responsibility if this portion of 416 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:47,199 Speaker 2: my toxicity and I'm going to be more upfront and 417 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:49,919 Speaker 2: forward and direct, even if it hurts a nigga's feelings 418 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:53,439 Speaker 2: or bitches feelings in the future, because this is probably 419 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:56,480 Speaker 2: really gonna hurt when you've traveled to fucking two thousand 420 00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:58,720 Speaker 2: miles to see someone you're not guaranteed to see and 421 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,320 Speaker 2: I'm going to guarantee you're not going to see me. 422 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,560 Speaker 2: So yeah, and he told me in the beginning's like, 423 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,560 Speaker 2: you're gonna hurt me. I'm like, that's not my intention. 424 00:19:06,359 --> 00:19:08,400 Speaker 2: But if you felt that way, you should have went 425 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:10,960 Speaker 2: with your instinct because you probably knew that you were 426 00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:17,720 Speaker 2: husband material. And this is gonna sound really fucked up, but. 427 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:19,080 Speaker 1: Are you a couple looking to find a third or 428 00:19:19,119 --> 00:19:21,199 Speaker 1: are you single and searching for a dating app that 429 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:25,320 Speaker 1: actually encourages you to embrace your sexual side, then you 430 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:29,359 Speaker 1: need to check out Field. Field is the alternative dating 431 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:34,080 Speaker 1: app for couples and singles, and I fucking love it. 432 00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:36,560 Speaker 2: It's amazing and I'm gonna be honest, I've been using 433 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,720 Speaker 2: Field to find a third person for me and my 434 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:42,240 Speaker 2: man and it's pretty cool because I can make my 435 00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:46,200 Speaker 2: own profile and connect it to his. It's called paired profiles, 436 00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:49,119 Speaker 2: so whoever you're seeking can check you both out, and 437 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,119 Speaker 2: you guys are connected on the app. 438 00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:55,520 Speaker 1: I love it. It's makes my ethical slut heart smile. 439 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:56,280 Speaker 3: Honestly it does. 440 00:19:56,359 --> 00:19:58,840 Speaker 2: It's just really an open space for open minded people 441 00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:01,480 Speaker 2: to link up, make friendships, and maybe make love. 442 00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:03,840 Speaker 1: And here's some great news you guys. You can download 443 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:06,720 Speaker 1: the Field app for free and support our show by 444 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:10,280 Speaker 1: using the link in this episode's description. Just click the 445 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:12,399 Speaker 1: link in our episode to get the Field app for 446 00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:13,200 Speaker 1: free today. 447 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:15,760 Speaker 3: Do you feel this way? 448 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:19,239 Speaker 2: Like if you see a woman and she's thriving, and 449 00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:22,840 Speaker 2: she's living her best life, and she's going after her 450 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:27,560 Speaker 2: dreams and living in her purpose and manifesting abundantly, what 451 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:32,360 Speaker 2: the fuck makes you think that? If you are living 452 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:39,440 Speaker 2: a life of conplacency and contentness, and you're just like, eh, 453 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:43,439 Speaker 2: I'm kind of happy. I think I clocked in and 454 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:45,560 Speaker 2: more power to the clock ins. 455 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:47,080 Speaker 3: But are you happy? 456 00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:50,480 Speaker 2: Don't come be here in my light and think that 457 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:52,640 Speaker 2: we're compatible forever. 458 00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:54,360 Speaker 3: It's disrespectful. 459 00:20:54,880 --> 00:21:00,800 Speaker 1: Well, those people are usually called energy vampires, and sometimes 460 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,480 Speaker 1: it's conscious, sometimes it's unconscious. But like I said, you 461 00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:05,640 Speaker 1: have a light, like I was telling, what was I telling? 462 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:06,720 Speaker 3: Irene? In the car yesterday. 463 00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:09,920 Speaker 1: She's like, what did you say to Jamila. I was like, Jamila. 464 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,640 Speaker 1: I was like, Jamila, it's baby, I was telling Iri 465 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,679 Speaker 1: was like, baby, it's like when we leave the door 466 00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:16,639 Speaker 1: open at night and there's that light inside, and you 467 00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:18,520 Speaker 1: freak out because all the bugs keep coming in because 468 00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:20,679 Speaker 1: they're attracted to the light. Jamala is the light and 469 00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:21,399 Speaker 1: all the niggas are. 470 00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:24,880 Speaker 3: The bugs keep coming in trying to get it, trying 471 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:25,400 Speaker 3: to get some. 472 00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:27,239 Speaker 1: And then we keep closing the door, but we keep 473 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:30,440 Speaker 1: leaving it open a little bit. So yeah, I think 474 00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:33,360 Speaker 1: honesty is always the best policy. You're very honest here, 475 00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:35,480 Speaker 1: so you just got to be honest to these niggas. 476 00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:37,639 Speaker 2: And I feel bad right now. I feel bad, like, like, 477 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:39,919 Speaker 2: is this my life? Did I get into a career 478 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,760 Speaker 2: that I do toxic shit and then talk shit about 479 00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:46,800 Speaker 2: it publicly? I mean, luckily for everyone there's no names involved. 480 00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:51,240 Speaker 2: But I'm actually just honestly working through my issues out loud, 481 00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:55,200 Speaker 2: and unfortunately that requires that I talk about other people sometimes. 482 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:58,920 Speaker 2: And I'm realizing that this wasn't cool, and I probably 483 00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:01,880 Speaker 2: will pick up the phone when he leaves the city 484 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:04,400 Speaker 2: and reiterate because I'm not picking up the phone while 485 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:05,480 Speaker 2: you're here because I don't care. 486 00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:09,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, and he's out of pocket, Like I said, that's crazy. 487 00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:11,560 Speaker 1: I don't care if, especially if you haven't really been 488 00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:13,600 Speaker 1: giving him that attention. There's no reason to just pop 489 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:15,000 Speaker 1: up on you. You have no one. First of all, 490 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,800 Speaker 1: you have a child, like you have shit going on 491 00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:21,280 Speaker 1: right now, Like you need to give mom's notice period. 492 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:23,240 Speaker 1: Moms need notice and all period. 493 00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:23,639 Speaker 3: Yeah. 494 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,560 Speaker 2: My old thing too, is like I don't need a hint. 495 00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:28,480 Speaker 2: If a nigga's not interested in me, I'll be the 496 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:32,240 Speaker 2: first bitch to know. Like I'm not, Oh, okay, cool out. 497 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:34,199 Speaker 2: I don't think I should have the spell shit out 498 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:34,600 Speaker 2: to niggau. 499 00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:38,399 Speaker 1: Some people just don't get social cues and they really 500 00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:40,399 Speaker 1: just don't or they just don't want to. 501 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:42,359 Speaker 3: And I get it. I'm addictive, you know, like I 502 00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:44,280 Speaker 3: feel good and but. 503 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:48,280 Speaker 1: You take a man you knew that he's never experienced 504 00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:50,639 Speaker 1: anything like you, and you give him a taste, and 505 00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:52,000 Speaker 1: of course they're gonna get addicted. 506 00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:54,479 Speaker 3: Yes, it's just I wanted him to know that you 507 00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:55,080 Speaker 3: can have more. 508 00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:57,239 Speaker 1: Okay, but do you think did work? No? 509 00:22:57,560 --> 00:22:59,520 Speaker 3: Well I did it. I'm sure he's gonna he told me. 510 00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:03,320 Speaker 2: Has a job interview on Friday for the same same 511 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:04,320 Speaker 2: job in a different city. 512 00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:05,919 Speaker 3: That's step one, you know. 513 00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:08,080 Speaker 2: But I just feel like, even like he was here 514 00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:10,040 Speaker 2: around the time, we had a meeting about this thing 515 00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:13,400 Speaker 2: that's happening with us, and they were talking like numbers 516 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:15,679 Speaker 2: and like this huge deal was happening on speakerphone, and 517 00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:17,280 Speaker 2: I just like looked over and I was just like, 518 00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:20,679 Speaker 2: this is awkward. It just felt awkward to me, Like 519 00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:23,760 Speaker 2: I really wasn't like I was celebrating this win. And 520 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:26,960 Speaker 2: I just kind of felt bad because I felt like 521 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:28,480 Speaker 2: maybe he felt like, oh damn, like, what have I 522 00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:29,320 Speaker 2: been doing all this year? 523 00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:31,879 Speaker 1: You're not equally yoked. You're not, And you know what, 524 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:32,959 Speaker 1: don't feel bad about it. 525 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:34,720 Speaker 2: I feel bad because I've not I haven't always been here. 526 00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:39,200 Speaker 2: Of course I'm not, of course not. But you're here 527 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:43,479 Speaker 2: now and so and so. Don't bring yourself backwards because 528 00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:46,400 Speaker 2: of where you used to be. No, Like, that's not 529 00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:50,560 Speaker 2: how you continue to propel forward by bringing people from. 530 00:23:50,359 --> 00:23:53,080 Speaker 1: Behind with you on the journey, right, you know what 531 00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:55,160 Speaker 1: I mean? It's one thing to like, you know, bring 532 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,080 Speaker 1: your people with you and you're like, you know, wanting 533 00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:58,320 Speaker 1: them to be a part of the journey. 534 00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:01,640 Speaker 3: But like niggas can't if you're not not everyone can come. 535 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:03,600 Speaker 3: And I'm learning that not everyone's invited. 536 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,080 Speaker 1: I'm learning, you know, I have no problem on inviting people. 537 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:08,399 Speaker 3: I know that's where I need to take more from you. 538 00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:10,439 Speaker 1: I'm gonna start calling people for you, like, hey, So 539 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:11,960 Speaker 1: this is really. 540 00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:12,760 Speaker 3: When this was conspiring. 541 00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:14,520 Speaker 2: I wanted to give you my phone and I wish 542 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:16,919 Speaker 2: that you would just do it for me. 543 00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,119 Speaker 1: My Hello, this is Tremila's wife. It's over. 544 00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:22,080 Speaker 3: She's moved on. 545 00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,080 Speaker 1: She's moved on. I know she sprinkled the fairy dust. 546 00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:25,760 Speaker 1: I know, nigga, I know the pussy was bombed. But 547 00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:28,240 Speaker 1: it's over. It's over. She's in love with someone else 548 00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:31,280 Speaker 1: now and you should but you should do all the 549 00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:33,159 Speaker 1: things she said that you should do, like do all 550 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:34,120 Speaker 1: those things, but. 551 00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:34,960 Speaker 3: With someone else. 552 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:40,360 Speaker 2: I this is a perfect example of why Dick can 553 00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:43,280 Speaker 2: confuse you and why Dick is not the solution of 554 00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:47,600 Speaker 2: getting over somebody else, because it just doesn't work well. 555 00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:52,040 Speaker 1: Speaking of Dick, and you know confusion, and you know 556 00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:55,879 Speaker 1: the history of penis in our life. I thought, in 557 00:24:55,960 --> 00:25:00,159 Speaker 1: honor of this first week of June and us talking 558 00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:03,600 Speaker 1: all about sex all June and having some really cool 559 00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:07,159 Speaker 1: guests on this month as well to talk about sex, sex, work, 560 00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:11,760 Speaker 1: all the things I wanted to share with you guys 561 00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:15,320 Speaker 1: our history with sex, starting with how we lost our virginity, 562 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:19,560 Speaker 1: which for me was not great. 563 00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:22,800 Speaker 3: Please do tell. 564 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:27,400 Speaker 1: Okay, Well, you know, I started thinking about sex at 565 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:31,760 Speaker 1: a really young age. The first time that I saw 566 00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:36,600 Speaker 1: sex was at shout out to my friend Gigi. Her dad. 567 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:38,840 Speaker 1: He was an NBA player, and he had this huge 568 00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:42,399 Speaker 1: mansion and I was basically living there all summer long, 569 00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:46,560 Speaker 1: and he had like every single channel that there could 570 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:50,320 Speaker 1: have ever been on television, and he had this workout room, 571 00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:52,639 Speaker 1: and I remember like he had these bikes, these like 572 00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:55,680 Speaker 1: stationary bikes, and me and Gigi would like fake bike 573 00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:59,040 Speaker 1: and watch TV. And one day we stumbled upon I 574 00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:01,399 Speaker 1: think was the Playboy chain all and like it was 575 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:03,879 Speaker 1: like we hit gold, Like we're like, what the fuck 576 00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:09,160 Speaker 1: is this? Probably like ten and we were like what 577 00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:11,639 Speaker 1: what is this? So I just remember like us like 578 00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:14,280 Speaker 1: riding is such a strange visual, but like two ten 579 00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:16,399 Speaker 1: year olds like fake working out on the bike, but 580 00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:21,000 Speaker 1: also like watching porn and we were watching porn right 581 00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:23,360 Speaker 1: and then after like this was like our thing. We'd 582 00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:25,160 Speaker 1: go in there because no one bother us in there, 583 00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:28,479 Speaker 1: and we'd like either just chill, were working. But then 584 00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:30,120 Speaker 1: there was a time where like we're on the bike 585 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:32,159 Speaker 1: and like I was watching it and I remember like 586 00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:37,040 Speaker 1: the bike seat feeling good and like I was kind 587 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:39,639 Speaker 1: of like rubbing my pussy on the bike and like 588 00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,120 Speaker 1: watching the porn and I was like, what is this, 589 00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:47,280 Speaker 1: Like what is this like sensation? And so that was 590 00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:49,879 Speaker 1: like my entry into like, oh, this is what sex 591 00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:53,600 Speaker 1: is like. So porn was my first obviously intro into 592 00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:56,960 Speaker 1: what I thought sex was supposed to be like. And 593 00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:01,040 Speaker 1: then you know, not having a dad really around daddy 594 00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:03,720 Speaker 1: issues obviously played into this. And then my mom not 595 00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:07,800 Speaker 1: really discussing sex with me, and then like teenagers, like 596 00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:09,600 Speaker 1: as I I think it was around like eleven or twelve, 597 00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:11,440 Speaker 1: I was at an all girls school. So I was 598 00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:15,520 Speaker 1: an all girls school and with a bunch of girls 599 00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:19,960 Speaker 1: with a lot of misinformation teaching me about sex. When 600 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:25,240 Speaker 1: I was twelve, we moved into a house right behind 601 00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:29,479 Speaker 1: an all boys high school. Worst mistake ever. And so 602 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:33,000 Speaker 1: and around that time, obviously I'm going like my hormones 603 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:36,280 Speaker 1: are raging. I'm like I think I'm supposed to have 604 00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:39,040 Speaker 1: sex now, like I had made out before, I like 605 00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:41,760 Speaker 1: got fingered. I think like I got fingered around age eleven. 606 00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:43,280 Speaker 1: I actually I did at age eleven. 607 00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:45,040 Speaker 3: That was a fingering year. 608 00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:46,720 Speaker 1: And I forget it was like my dad was eleven 609 00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:47,320 Speaker 1: and twelve. 610 00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:49,560 Speaker 3: You're getting the finger fucked all over everywhere. 611 00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:51,800 Speaker 1: My dad was getting inducted into the Hall of Fame 612 00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:55,919 Speaker 1: in Dayton, Ohio. And like his assistants son was my 613 00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:57,800 Speaker 1: age Daniel. 614 00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:02,800 Speaker 2: Oh oh, and he was probably so small, this valley, 615 00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:04,600 Speaker 2: so small, and he was so fine to me. 616 00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:06,359 Speaker 1: Oh my god. I was in love with him, and 617 00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:08,600 Speaker 1: he was coming on the trip. I was like vacation 618 00:28:10,359 --> 00:28:12,600 Speaker 1: and we I remember we were in we were at 619 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:14,119 Speaker 1: the pool. We're at the pool, and there was like 620 00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:16,280 Speaker 1: a steam room at the pool too. So we went 621 00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:18,600 Speaker 1: in the pool and we started making out under the water. 622 00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:21,000 Speaker 1: Like that was like my first kiss was like underwater. 623 00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:23,920 Speaker 1: And then actually my first kiss was with a girl, 624 00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:27,240 Speaker 1: but I didn't count that first kiss with him was underwater. 625 00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:28,840 Speaker 1: And then we went into the steam room and then 626 00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:32,119 Speaker 1: like he like fingered me. And after that, I was like, 627 00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:37,400 Speaker 1: I'm having sex next, next is next next to sex. 628 00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:40,560 Speaker 1: So then I had a boyfriend around age twelve, my 629 00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:44,120 Speaker 1: first boyfriend, and he was like an age appropriate like 630 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:47,720 Speaker 1: he was like very respectful, just wanted to make out, 631 00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:49,440 Speaker 1: like yeah, he fingered me, I guess in the back 632 00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:51,520 Speaker 1: of the like the movie theater at the Howard Hughes Center, 633 00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:54,959 Speaker 1: if you know, you know. But I remember telling him 634 00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:58,600 Speaker 1: that I was ready for sex at age twelve and 635 00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:01,760 Speaker 1: he was like, no, you're not. And I was, you 636 00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:04,480 Speaker 1: know me, you don't tell me what the fuck I'm 637 00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:07,320 Speaker 1: ready for my nigga. So I was like, no, I am, 638 00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:09,360 Speaker 1: and he was like, well, I'm not, and I don't 639 00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:11,680 Speaker 1: think we are, and I'm gonna make that choice for us, 640 00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:15,560 Speaker 1: very mature wow. And I was like, hmmm, nigh. Well, 641 00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:17,440 Speaker 1: do you know I lived behind All boys High School Niga. 642 00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:21,080 Speaker 1: So one day I was walking to the market and 643 00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:24,320 Speaker 1: I saw this very handsome, light skinned man sitting outside 644 00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:28,120 Speaker 1: in his basketball jersey and he had corn rows. God, 645 00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:29,000 Speaker 1: he was so fine. 646 00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:31,280 Speaker 2: And you know what interruption just because I know this 647 00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:33,600 Speaker 2: because we're in the valley. If you grew up in 648 00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:38,080 Speaker 2: the valley and you're black, there are very little black 649 00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:39,080 Speaker 2: guys in the valley. 650 00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:41,680 Speaker 3: So if you were black and you grew up in 651 00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:43,720 Speaker 3: the valley. You know that there are very. 652 00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:46,000 Speaker 2: Little black girls and black boys, so if you spotted 653 00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:48,880 Speaker 2: a fine one, you needed to figure it out quickly. 654 00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:50,320 Speaker 2: I mean there was literally I feel like there was 655 00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:51,920 Speaker 2: a hunt for black boys. 656 00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:52,480 Speaker 3: In this age. 657 00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:54,120 Speaker 1: Literally since I've met. 658 00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:56,200 Speaker 3: My baby daddy on a hunt for black guys. 659 00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:57,040 Speaker 1: This is a fact. 660 00:29:57,200 --> 00:29:59,520 Speaker 3: Through AOL. Then there was al Mousenger and then you connect. 661 00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:01,000 Speaker 2: You found the found one black guy and he found 662 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:02,560 Speaker 2: the rest because I maybe had friends at a different 663 00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:03,520 Speaker 2: school and. 664 00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:06,280 Speaker 1: Then well even my boyfriend who said we I wasn't ready. 665 00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:08,320 Speaker 1: He lived in like South Central and like I met 666 00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:11,120 Speaker 1: him because I went to like a private school dance 667 00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:13,719 Speaker 1: and he went to school at Loyal or he went 668 00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:15,600 Speaker 1: to a where do you go, Pilgrim, He went to 669 00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:18,200 Speaker 1: some school and like a few of these guys that 670 00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:22,520 Speaker 1: happened to be at this dance, Carlton him, my friend 671 00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:24,320 Speaker 1: Justin who I'm still I'm still friends with all these 672 00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:28,840 Speaker 1: people because I was so desperate for black friends. That 673 00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:30,920 Speaker 1: and that's why my mom was driving me from the 674 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,240 Speaker 1: valley to Howard Hughes which is by the airport, to 675 00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:35,320 Speaker 1: go hang out with my black friends because I had 676 00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:37,880 Speaker 1: none in the valley. So anyway, when I sat when 677 00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:40,400 Speaker 1: I was walking into this grocery store at my house, 678 00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:44,640 Speaker 1: and I saw this beautiful black boy sitting there like 679 00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:46,640 Speaker 1: you know, you make the eye contact, you look at 680 00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:49,440 Speaker 1: one another, and I was like, oh shit, oh my god. 681 00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:54,040 Speaker 1: He asked for my number. We exchanged numbers and that 682 00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:59,040 Speaker 1: was that. We talked, exchanged information, chatted over the over 683 00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:01,400 Speaker 1: the no not I was on the landline. My mom 684 00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:01,840 Speaker 1: was always like. 685 00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:06,320 Speaker 3: Get off the phut and I was like, okays up, 686 00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:06,880 Speaker 3: don't come back. 687 00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:11,560 Speaker 1: And I started sneaking him into my backyard because he 688 00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:14,120 Speaker 1: could just jump over the fence, and so at first 689 00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:16,400 Speaker 1: we just started kind of like making out. So he 690 00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:19,080 Speaker 1: was at an all boys school at that time. I was, 691 00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:21,520 Speaker 1: I guess I had. It was the summer right before 692 00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:25,240 Speaker 1: I started high school and he was a year older 693 00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:31,040 Speaker 1: than me, and so over time, sneaking him into the 694 00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:35,960 Speaker 1: backyard eventually led to now I'm going to give you head, 695 00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:39,200 Speaker 1: and so I gave him head. I had no idea 696 00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:42,360 Speaker 1: what the fuck I was doing, just I think I well, 697 00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:44,720 Speaker 1: maybe I did because I watched so much porn at 698 00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:47,640 Speaker 1: my friend's house that I was actually maybe loki an expert. 699 00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:50,520 Speaker 1: But the I remember telling him like, I'm ready to 700 00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:53,280 Speaker 1: lose my virginity. And so we planned it and he 701 00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:58,280 Speaker 1: came into my backyard. My nanny was home, or my 702 00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:01,880 Speaker 1: housekeeper was home, but I knew that she was never 703 00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:03,680 Speaker 1: going to come outside and come in the backyard. And 704 00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:07,240 Speaker 1: we went into this shed and I lost my virginity 705 00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:11,480 Speaker 1: on this like wooden, dirty ass table in my backyard 706 00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:14,760 Speaker 1: when my parents were at work. And it lasted for 707 00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:19,800 Speaker 1: all of like three minutes, and I remember it feeling uncomfortable, 708 00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:22,360 Speaker 1: but didn't hurt as much as like I anticipated it hurting. 709 00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:24,880 Speaker 1: And then it was over, and then he jumped over 710 00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:28,200 Speaker 1: the fence and that was that. And then he remember 711 00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:32,000 Speaker 1: him calling me and asking me if I was a virgin, 712 00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:33,960 Speaker 1: like if I was really a virgin, And I was like, 713 00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:35,560 Speaker 1: what do you mean. He's like, well, you didn't bleed. 714 00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:39,760 Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, I don't know. He's like, well, 715 00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:42,320 Speaker 1: you're supposed to bleed, and I was like the myths 716 00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:45,080 Speaker 1: the children here right. And then he said, and you 717 00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:46,880 Speaker 1: seem like you knew what you were doing. That's what 718 00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:47,400 Speaker 1: he said. 719 00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:48,120 Speaker 3: I wait for thisment. 720 00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:50,720 Speaker 1: You knew what you were doing. And I was like, well, nigga, 721 00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:54,280 Speaker 1: I've been watching porn for three years. But also I 722 00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:56,800 Speaker 1: felt like ashamed. I was like, was I supposed to bleed? 723 00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:59,320 Speaker 1: Like is my pussy broken? Like I don't know, And 724 00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:01,200 Speaker 1: at that point of course, I'd never looked at the 725 00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:03,640 Speaker 1: pussy ever and like getting a finger bringing in the sauna. 726 00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:06,400 Speaker 1: Maybe I bleed bled but I don't remember ever bleeding. 727 00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:09,200 Speaker 1: I don't know. I guess I didn't have Maybe my 728 00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:13,720 Speaker 1: time broke hymen my hymen. I haven't heard that word, 729 00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:16,280 Speaker 1: my hymen. It's one of those things you hear a 730 00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:19,280 Speaker 1: lot around the time where you're gonna lose your virginity so. 731 00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:20,880 Speaker 3: Much, and now as an adult, like what the fuck 732 00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:21,200 Speaker 3: is that? 733 00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:25,880 Speaker 1: I am no, but that was my virginity story. And 734 00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:29,120 Speaker 1: then I remember, like my mom reading my journal, I 735 00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:32,600 Speaker 1: know you have a lot of trauma, trauma, and I 736 00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:35,400 Speaker 1: guess I said, I mentioned that I lost my virginity, 737 00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:37,040 Speaker 1: and then she asked me about it and I lied, 738 00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:38,640 Speaker 1: and then she like tried to make me go to 739 00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:40,840 Speaker 1: the gynecologist. I'm not tried. She made me go to 740 00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:43,800 Speaker 1: the gynocologist, and like I knew she was trying to 741 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:47,040 Speaker 1: like investigate whether my hymen was broken or not, and 742 00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:49,200 Speaker 1: I refused to go in. 743 00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:51,680 Speaker 2: You know, they're like, you know, your friends, like they 744 00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:53,479 Speaker 2: can't tell your mom, it's top secret. 745 00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:56,080 Speaker 1: Like again they did, they did say that. All my 746 00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:57,960 Speaker 1: friends did say that, and but I was like, I'm 747 00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:00,560 Speaker 1: not going in there. I'm not. We went to this 748 00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:03,200 Speaker 1: Beverly Hills fucking doctor. I'll never forget. It was bougie 749 00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:06,440 Speaker 1: ass office and I was like nope. And I just 750 00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:07,360 Speaker 1: sat there and I was. 751 00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:09,040 Speaker 3: Like, she would wouldn't go in the you would. 752 00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:10,200 Speaker 1: She couldn't force me. 753 00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:13,040 Speaker 2: You just sat in the waiting room the doctor and 754 00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:15,840 Speaker 2: then we just left er dis yep, and you just 755 00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:17,080 Speaker 2: and I sat there. 756 00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:19,400 Speaker 1: Oh, this is stubborn as fuck. I was like, I 757 00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:20,520 Speaker 1: am not going in there. 758 00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:21,920 Speaker 3: It's just a regular check out yep. 759 00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:23,479 Speaker 1: And I was like, You're not gonna fool me, bitch. 760 00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:27,160 Speaker 1: Uh ah, this nigga? Are you told me that car 761 00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:28,760 Speaker 1: ride home was not good? 762 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:30,480 Speaker 3: Wow? 763 00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:34,920 Speaker 1: And that's my virginity story, a. 764 00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:37,680 Speaker 3: Little freak my virginity story. Wow. 765 00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:40,160 Speaker 2: I feel like I had some confusion around mind that 766 00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:44,399 Speaker 2: I'm sorting through. I started like doing weird shit and 767 00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:49,400 Speaker 2: like humping friends at a very young age, probably like six, 768 00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:52,399 Speaker 2: which is very fucking strange to say out loud because 769 00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:54,360 Speaker 2: I have a six year old daughter who's like not 770 00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:59,799 Speaker 2: humping anything, Thank God Jesus. I also realized that I 771 00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:03,600 Speaker 2: was around other cousins and friends that had sexual abuse 772 00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:06,520 Speaker 2: and that they were showing me things. And so I 773 00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:10,040 Speaker 2: was molested by older cousin And I was molested like 774 00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:14,080 Speaker 2: as a really young child too, at like three or four, 775 00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:16,640 Speaker 2: by an older boy who lived down the way from 776 00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:17,680 Speaker 2: my grandmother's house. 777 00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:19,400 Speaker 3: And I told my mom. But I remember being like 778 00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:20,120 Speaker 3: this huge deal. 779 00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:23,400 Speaker 2: Whatever the whole thing is, I can't pinpoint if my 780 00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:29,280 Speaker 2: freakness came. Probably it's natural. Probably came naturally. I'm a 781 00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:31,759 Speaker 2: freaky ass bitch, but I think it was heightened and 782 00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:34,840 Speaker 2: it came too early because of those experiences. And so 783 00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:37,800 Speaker 2: at like six or seven or eight, I was finding 784 00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:41,319 Speaker 2: my parents porn humping a lot of shit, lots of 785 00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:44,560 Speaker 2: pillows were being humped. And by the time I was 786 00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:50,240 Speaker 2: like twelve or thirteen, again everyone's having this conversation about sex. 787 00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:52,040 Speaker 2: I remember writing in my journal I went to a 788 00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:54,719 Speaker 2: Lutheran school because my parents made me change from public 789 00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:57,440 Speaker 2: school to Lutheran school, which was like the worst thing 790 00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:01,280 Speaker 2: of my life. Like I was drawing pictures on the refrigerator. 791 00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:03,320 Speaker 3: Like I hate school here, like it was intense. 792 00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:06,440 Speaker 2: I wrote in my journal that I was ready to 793 00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:09,320 Speaker 2: graduate from finger banging from sucking. 794 00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:10,480 Speaker 3: I think I don't know if I was ready to 795 00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:11,120 Speaker 3: graduate from. 796 00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:13,000 Speaker 2: Titty sucking to finger banging, if I was ready to 797 00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:14,399 Speaker 2: graduate from fingerbanging to fucking. 798 00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:15,719 Speaker 3: I was ready to get it going. 799 00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:20,880 Speaker 2: And much like Erica, I was sneaking boys into my 800 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:24,480 Speaker 2: room after football games on Friday nights. 801 00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:26,520 Speaker 3: Helen niggas would come to my house. 802 00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:29,040 Speaker 2: Because my parents were so smart, they gave me a 803 00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:32,279 Speaker 2: bedroom that had a door to the front outside. 804 00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:34,560 Speaker 3: World the door and to the house. Why the fuck 805 00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:36,920 Speaker 3: would you give a teenage girl a room that has 806 00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:38,960 Speaker 3: a door to the outside. I don't know. 807 00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:41,759 Speaker 2: I was sneaking boys in. I got caught twice. Then 808 00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:45,440 Speaker 2: I became a Christian. I was crying about it. Then 809 00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:47,760 Speaker 2: I fell in love with like two niggas. My baby daddy, 810 00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:50,360 Speaker 2: who I've known since I was thirteen, and this other nigga. 811 00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:54,000 Speaker 2: And I remember being at a cousin's house and her 812 00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:55,760 Speaker 2: older brother was there with some friend. 813 00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:59,000 Speaker 3: Oh my god, his name is Darwin, and he was cute, but. 814 00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:00,640 Speaker 2: He had like a lot of acne and we like 815 00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:03,320 Speaker 2: went into the room and like I was like humping 816 00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:06,240 Speaker 2: him and it felt good, and then he like stuck 817 00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:08,040 Speaker 2: it in and like we did it, and then I 818 00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:09,759 Speaker 2: was immediately I. 819 00:37:09,719 --> 00:37:12,040 Speaker 3: Was like, oh, this is not special at all. I 820 00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:12,759 Speaker 3: don't know him. 821 00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:15,239 Speaker 2: There's actually niggas I love. Why did I do this? 822 00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:17,719 Speaker 2: And I was like crying and he didn't know me 823 00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:19,719 Speaker 2: at all. He was looking at me like, bitch, are 824 00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:20,440 Speaker 2: you okay? 825 00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:23,160 Speaker 3: And I was like I didn't want to lost my 826 00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:23,960 Speaker 3: virginity like this. 827 00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:27,560 Speaker 2: But then like fifteen minutes later we started humping again 828 00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:30,759 Speaker 2: because he consoled me. What a nice stranger, and then 829 00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:33,000 Speaker 2: I was like wanted to do it again. So I 830 00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:38,200 Speaker 2: would say that my virginity and my sexual appetite started 831 00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:41,480 Speaker 2: very much in confusion. And I can understand this now 832 00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:43,960 Speaker 2: as an adult that like I've had a lot of 833 00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:46,440 Speaker 2: conflict between like my pussy feeling good and like my 834 00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:49,479 Speaker 2: mind saying no, And so as an adult that's kind 835 00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:53,160 Speaker 2: of trickled along, and I probably for sure had some trauma. 836 00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:56,080 Speaker 2: So that was like my official virginity losing. But I 837 00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:58,160 Speaker 2: never told anyone because I was too embarrassed, and also 838 00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:01,000 Speaker 2: I was confused, why did I do it again. Why 839 00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:03,320 Speaker 2: did I say I want cry do it again? Because 840 00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:05,480 Speaker 2: like my body and my mind were like in conflict. 841 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:09,000 Speaker 2: I later had sex with one of I can't remember 842 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:10,720 Speaker 2: it was my baby daddy or the other one who 843 00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:14,080 Speaker 2: happened first. They both got got though and I was 844 00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:17,719 Speaker 2: turned out immediately. Like I remember wearing lingerie under my 845 00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:20,640 Speaker 2: school uniform. I like my mom would like pass down 846 00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:22,279 Speaker 2: to me. My mom was like had a Victoria's to 847 00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:23,680 Speaker 2: get credit cards, so she did have a bunch of 848 00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:25,960 Speaker 2: gang is shit over there. I worn'der in my uniform, 849 00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:28,040 Speaker 2: take the bus to see this niggat and like we're 850 00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:28,920 Speaker 2: sexy outfits. 851 00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:29,520 Speaker 3: We were fucking. 852 00:38:30,239 --> 00:38:32,640 Speaker 2: I started fucking my baby daddy and that took place 853 00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:36,320 Speaker 2: in various places, the front yard, the car, dressing rooms 854 00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:41,480 Speaker 2: at the mall, the park, recreation rooms, lots of places. 855 00:38:41,880 --> 00:38:44,399 Speaker 3: And then when I turned, I was turned out. Once 856 00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:47,440 Speaker 3: I had sex, it was can you not call yourself turned? 857 00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:47,960 Speaker 1: I was? 858 00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:51,840 Speaker 2: There was a wrap like I was fucking and so 859 00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,600 Speaker 2: much so that I met a porn star when I 860 00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:55,520 Speaker 2: was like sixteen. 861 00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:58,040 Speaker 3: This is like the peak of my meat getting turned out. 862 00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:01,520 Speaker 2: And he had a white mom was aati so la 863 00:39:01,719 --> 00:39:03,480 Speaker 2: hit a white mass rioting, and we got his number 864 00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:05,120 Speaker 2: and he came and got us in another car. 865 00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:07,600 Speaker 3: He had a range Rover. Where the fuck are my parents? 866 00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:08,040 Speaker 3: Don't know? 867 00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:10,160 Speaker 2: Pulled up to my front of my house. Me and 868 00:39:10,239 --> 00:39:13,360 Speaker 2: my cousin Sheena got in. She was like significantly older 869 00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:15,799 Speaker 2: than me, and we get in the car. At this point, 870 00:39:15,840 --> 00:39:17,200 Speaker 2: I didn't know he was a porn star. I don't 871 00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:19,239 Speaker 2: really know porn stars, but like when I as I 872 00:39:19,239 --> 00:39:20,759 Speaker 2: grew up, because we're still friends, he was like a 873 00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:25,160 Speaker 2: huge porn star at the time, Justin's Slayer. And I 874 00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:27,120 Speaker 2: got in the front seat, all young, I don't know, 875 00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:28,799 Speaker 2: and he's like, y'all look young, let me see you ID. 876 00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:30,000 Speaker 2: Of course I had a fake ID and I just 877 00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:32,120 Speaker 2: kept like brushing it aside, like I go to Valley. 878 00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:36,480 Speaker 3: College, like I'm an adult lives and he was. 879 00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:37,960 Speaker 2: I was like, do you have a girlfriend, because I 880 00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:40,720 Speaker 2: thought I was so mature and grown, and he was like, baby, 881 00:39:40,719 --> 00:39:42,480 Speaker 2: I got a lot of girlfriends. Do you want one? 882 00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:45,480 Speaker 2: And literally my heart melted. I was like that must 883 00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:46,799 Speaker 2: have been when I knew I was a ethical slight. 884 00:39:46,840 --> 00:39:48,560 Speaker 2: I just didn't know the word for it. And I 885 00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:53,000 Speaker 2: was like, huh, And he proceeded to take us to 886 00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:56,880 Speaker 2: some sex parties. I was a junior in high school, 887 00:39:58,120 --> 00:40:00,919 Speaker 2: and honestly, from there it was a rap. Like I 888 00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:05,200 Speaker 2: did a lot of sex between sixteen and now, and 889 00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:07,759 Speaker 2: a lot of it in my twenties. I realize, A, 890 00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:10,319 Speaker 2: I don't remember. B. There was times where I'd be 891 00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:13,919 Speaker 2: like sucking dick and my head was like facing out, 892 00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:15,719 Speaker 2: like I didn't want to see the person's face at 893 00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:19,000 Speaker 2: all because I have trauma. And there's sometimes I didn't 894 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:20,479 Speaker 2: want to do stuff, and I mean, I'm a woman, 895 00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:21,920 Speaker 2: this happens to all of us. I didn't want to 896 00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:23,319 Speaker 2: do it, then I would do it. Then they get 897 00:40:23,360 --> 00:40:25,279 Speaker 2: kept saying please, yeah, come on, please, please the head 898 00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:27,399 Speaker 2: come on. I'm like, oh, fine, fuck it, I'm here. 899 00:40:27,440 --> 00:40:30,960 Speaker 2: It's my fault. All these like shame and like weird 900 00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:33,120 Speaker 2: things that I no one talked to me about. My 901 00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:35,880 Speaker 2: mom found birth control and I was like thirteen, yelled 902 00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:37,680 Speaker 2: at me, didn't say, are you having sets? 903 00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:39,319 Speaker 3: Let's talk about it, screamed at me. 904 00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:41,680 Speaker 2: I got an abortion by one of those not my 905 00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:43,200 Speaker 2: baby daddy, but the other guy that I was in 906 00:40:43,239 --> 00:40:46,080 Speaker 2: love with. And I went to Catholic school, so I 907 00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:48,480 Speaker 2: wasn't allowed to miss school. They called my mom couldn't 908 00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:50,840 Speaker 2: find me. She ended up picking me up from the clinic. 909 00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:54,200 Speaker 2: This was traumatizing. She was like, maybe I should put 910 00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:56,120 Speaker 2: her business. This was not a good mom moment. And 911 00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:57,719 Speaker 2: in fact, I brought this up as an adult and 912 00:40:57,760 --> 00:41:01,719 Speaker 2: she denies it, but I'll never forget. She was like, 913 00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:04,440 Speaker 2: you think it's cute to sow your baby in the trash. 914 00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:07,359 Speaker 3: I was like, this is why I do. I'll tell you. 915 00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:08,760 Speaker 1: Anything, my God. 916 00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:14,040 Speaker 3: So that happened, and I just was wild. I just 917 00:41:14,239 --> 00:41:14,840 Speaker 3: liked sex. 918 00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:17,840 Speaker 2: And I remember liking sex, and I remember being turned up. 919 00:41:17,760 --> 00:41:19,160 Speaker 3: And just me too. 920 00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:22,840 Speaker 1: I remember after well, my heart was broken because Kyle 921 00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:26,120 Speaker 1: didn't thought you were Kyle was also he was a hoe, 922 00:41:26,239 --> 00:41:28,600 Speaker 1: So the guy was my Virginia too. He was also 923 00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:32,799 Speaker 1: a scorpio Scorpio metatrash. He was a hoe and he 924 00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:35,960 Speaker 1: was like the hoe of the all girls school Louisville, 925 00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:38,680 Speaker 1: and he was fucking all these girls. Also he's fucking 926 00:41:38,719 --> 00:41:40,320 Speaker 1: a lot of white girls, which is probably why trauma 927 00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:42,439 Speaker 1: when it comes to like black men choosing white women 928 00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:44,239 Speaker 1: over me, I'm like get very upset by it. 929 00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:46,320 Speaker 3: I have that trauma because my mom used. 930 00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:48,960 Speaker 1: To say that a lot to my dad m and 931 00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:51,160 Speaker 1: after that I was like, well fuck you, And so 932 00:41:51,239 --> 00:41:52,560 Speaker 1: that I was like, well, I'm about to just go 933 00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:57,000 Speaker 1: fucking explore all my whnus And so I did, like 934 00:41:57,040 --> 00:41:59,360 Speaker 1: and I think about like high school sex, like there 935 00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:01,319 Speaker 1: weren't a lot of play sais to fuck. So like 936 00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:03,839 Speaker 1: you're fucking in closets, you're fucking in movie theaters, You're 937 00:42:03,880 --> 00:42:06,839 Speaker 1: fucking in like the most rant, You're fucking rooms with 938 00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:07,880 Speaker 1: multiple friends. 939 00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:08,719 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I've done that. 940 00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:12,120 Speaker 1: Oh my god, there's like seven people in one room 941 00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:14,680 Speaker 1: having sex. That's so crazy. 942 00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:17,960 Speaker 3: I can't wait to disgusting, weird, fucking gross. 943 00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:20,000 Speaker 1: And because we didn't even know like three somes were 944 00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:21,920 Speaker 1: an option, at least I didn't. It was just it 945 00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:24,239 Speaker 1: was all separately. It was all separately. It wasn't like 946 00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:25,200 Speaker 1: some yeah not through. 947 00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:28,160 Speaker 3: I mean, I guess I knew I went to a 948 00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:29,080 Speaker 3: sex party. 949 00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:31,160 Speaker 1: But I think about all the things that I did 950 00:42:31,239 --> 00:42:33,279 Speaker 1: and all the sneaking that I did, and all the 951 00:42:33,440 --> 00:42:37,719 Speaker 1: lying that I did, and just manipulations for sex that 952 00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:41,279 Speaker 1: I wasn't even really was I even enjoying myself? Like 953 00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:46,080 Speaker 1: who knows, Like no, probably not. And I just feel 954 00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:51,160 Speaker 1: like now as a parent, I talking about consent with 955 00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:54,960 Speaker 1: our kids, talking about your own self pleasure with our kids. 956 00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:57,720 Speaker 1: I mean, even that episode that we had with Michelle Hope, 957 00:42:57,760 --> 00:42:59,840 Speaker 1: who if you guys haven't listened to, the episode is 958 00:42:59,840 --> 00:43:02,680 Speaker 1: called Masturbation Matters. We did it last month, such an 959 00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:06,279 Speaker 1: important conversation. She was talking about giving vibrators to teenagers 960 00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:09,759 Speaker 1: so that they can explore their own sexual pleasure, so 961 00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:13,480 Speaker 1: they understand what that feels like before having sex with 962 00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:15,400 Speaker 1: someone else. That's going to define what your pleasure is 963 00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:17,960 Speaker 1: supposed to feel. Like like I had no concept of 964 00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:20,919 Speaker 1: what my sexual pleasure was until I was well into 965 00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:21,480 Speaker 1: my twenties. 966 00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:24,120 Speaker 2: Uh. I mean, I feel like that just came, like 967 00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:27,279 Speaker 2: honestly recently and honestly, like my parents didn't talk to 968 00:43:27,280 --> 00:43:30,080 Speaker 2: me about shit, but by the time. 969 00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:32,520 Speaker 3: So I've known my baby daddy for many, many. 970 00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:34,399 Speaker 2: Years and he was my high school speak art, he's 971 00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:36,480 Speaker 2: high school boyfriend. Like after I sledd it around, I 972 00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:38,759 Speaker 2: was probably still slutting around at the end. He just 973 00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:40,719 Speaker 2: loved me, even though I'm sure he knew I was 974 00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:46,440 Speaker 2: being wild. My parents would like for proms, and I 975 00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:49,439 Speaker 2: went to like every prom junior year, senior year, sophomore year. 976 00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:51,200 Speaker 2: They would get us a room, and my mom took 977 00:43:51,239 --> 00:43:52,799 Speaker 2: me to get my pussy wax, so I don't. It 978 00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:55,480 Speaker 2: was very confusing, and even like by the time I 979 00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:57,680 Speaker 2: was a senior in high school, he was allowed to 980 00:43:57,719 --> 00:44:01,160 Speaker 2: sleep over. And I'm like, first we would like sleep 981 00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:02,759 Speaker 2: in the living room, one on the floor, one. 982 00:44:02,680 --> 00:44:04,360 Speaker 3: On the couch, then we move to like the office. 983 00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:06,239 Speaker 2: Then eventually by the time I went to college, I 984 00:44:06,239 --> 00:44:08,400 Speaker 2: remember like he could sleep in my room, in my 985 00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:10,719 Speaker 2: bed with the door open, which is if black people 986 00:44:10,719 --> 00:44:13,239 Speaker 2: are listening, like this is some white people shit. But 987 00:44:13,280 --> 00:44:15,080 Speaker 2: even at his house, his parents wouldn't let asleep in 988 00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:16,400 Speaker 2: the same room. But I think at that point my 989 00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:18,719 Speaker 2: parents are just like fuck it, Like Lisa's the same. 990 00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:21,320 Speaker 1: Nigga, what do you think that? How would you navigate 991 00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:21,960 Speaker 1: that with Luna? 992 00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:23,759 Speaker 3: First of all, I would navigate it completely different. We're 993 00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:24,919 Speaker 3: gonna have conversations. 994 00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:26,960 Speaker 2: You're not gonna be pressed because we're gonna have conversations 995 00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:31,319 Speaker 2: about it, about consent, about pleasure, about self pleasure, and honestly, like, 996 00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:33,239 Speaker 2: I don't want my kid fucking at the park like 997 00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:35,080 Speaker 2: I was doing. I don't want my kid to feel 998 00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:37,440 Speaker 2: like she can't talk me about it because bitch I've been. 999 00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:40,080 Speaker 3: Done at all. You know what does he say done 1000 00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:42,399 Speaker 3: done at all? That's me. I've done it and there's 1001 00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:43,319 Speaker 3: nothing you can't tell me. 1002 00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:45,879 Speaker 2: And like, kids are gonna fuck, so I would much 1003 00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:48,040 Speaker 2: rather like I'm not gonna like everybody come here and 1004 00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:50,080 Speaker 2: fuck at my house, but honestly, like you don't need 1005 00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:52,040 Speaker 2: to fuck in a fifty dollars hotel room with four 1006 00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:55,560 Speaker 2: other couples. Okay, just call me and just you know, 1007 00:44:55,640 --> 00:44:57,360 Speaker 2: I just want be real about it, like if you 1008 00:44:57,560 --> 00:44:59,440 Speaker 2: need birth control, if you want to talk about it, like, 1009 00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:03,880 Speaker 2: let's talk about it, because I'd rather that discomfort my mom. Obviously, 1010 00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:05,840 Speaker 2: it's not her fault. She came from a place, like 1011 00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:09,000 Speaker 2: her parents were significantly older for her age, so she 1012 00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:10,880 Speaker 2: came from a whole different time she lived. She grew 1013 00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:14,080 Speaker 2: up in Philadelphia, Like she didn't know you know that 1014 00:45:14,120 --> 00:45:16,520 Speaker 2: this is something you could talk I think parents think 1015 00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:18,200 Speaker 2: if you've talked to your kids about sex. 1016 00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:20,759 Speaker 3: You're encouraging them to do it. And that's just not realistic. 1017 00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:23,960 Speaker 2: Like you're going to discover that feeling, slash the orgasm 1018 00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:26,280 Speaker 2: at some point, and so let's just talk about it. 1019 00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:28,200 Speaker 1: You know what. It's so funny and the other day, 1020 00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:30,120 Speaker 1: I was, you know, me and Iri, we always are 1021 00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:32,440 Speaker 1: talking about her body parts and how like I was 1022 00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:35,440 Speaker 1: always I was telling her. I've been showing her consistently 1023 00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:37,960 Speaker 1: how to clean her vagina and like in the shower 1024 00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:40,200 Speaker 1: and like I was cleaning her, I was helping her, 1025 00:45:40,239 --> 00:45:42,400 Speaker 1: and she was like, ooh, that feels good. And I 1026 00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:45,840 Speaker 1: was like no, no oh. I was like, oh god, 1027 00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:48,879 Speaker 1: and I was like and I didn't say anything because 1028 00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:50,960 Speaker 1: I it was it was such a casual moment that 1029 00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:53,239 Speaker 1: didn't need to be acknowledged per se. But the fact 1030 00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:54,919 Speaker 1: that she said that, I was like, oh shit. 1031 00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:56,399 Speaker 3: She's just like, yeah, it does. 1032 00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:59,919 Speaker 1: She knows she feels pleasure. She knows what that feel 1033 00:46:00,239 --> 00:46:03,719 Speaker 1: like and right. But like, as a parent, it's not 1034 00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:06,680 Speaker 1: something that like I think as parents, we think there's 1035 00:46:06,760 --> 00:46:10,239 Speaker 1: certain time frames that things are supposed to happen. And 1036 00:46:10,280 --> 00:46:13,839 Speaker 1: I think that's why parents often wait, like Okay, well 1037 00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:16,279 Speaker 1: I'll talk to my daughter about sex when she's like fourteen, 1038 00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:19,080 Speaker 1: and then she'll have sex when maybe she's like eighteen. 1039 00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:23,520 Speaker 2: We've socialized, like socially, we've socialized certain things, and I 1040 00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:27,360 Speaker 2: think we think pleasure is like sexual pleasure has to 1041 00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:32,239 Speaker 2: include another person. But sexuality and sex are not like 1042 00:46:32,320 --> 00:46:34,520 Speaker 2: it's not the same, and we have to acknowledge that, 1043 00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:39,080 Speaker 2: like there's sexuality just then that we inherently have solo 1044 00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:41,400 Speaker 2: and you have to address it, like it's dumb to 1045 00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:44,680 Speaker 2: take away the pleasure in all things because if I 1046 00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:45,759 Speaker 2: touch you, you're gonna. 1047 00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:46,200 Speaker 1: Feel it, you know. 1048 00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:49,600 Speaker 2: And it's just like we sexualize children, and we sexualize 1049 00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:52,120 Speaker 2: any type of intimacy, and we sexualize any type of 1050 00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:54,960 Speaker 2: intimate pleasure, and those two need to be separated. 1051 00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:57,040 Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, like even her say it felt good? 1052 00:46:57,320 --> 00:47:03,480 Speaker 1: Was it? Like her being sexual? IS's simply acknowledging her body, 1053 00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:08,440 Speaker 1: which is a sexual body, and the sensation of pleasure. 1054 00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:10,800 Speaker 2: And that's why I think it's so important as parents, 1055 00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:13,960 Speaker 2: as people, as adults that we stop sexualizing children and 1056 00:47:14,120 --> 00:47:16,400 Speaker 2: literally we stop sexualizing. 1057 00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:18,080 Speaker 3: Just everything because your conditioned. 1058 00:47:17,600 --> 00:47:21,000 Speaker 2: To believe that, and like reevaluate how you approach sex, 1059 00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:23,560 Speaker 2: how you approach sexuality even in your grown ass selves. 1060 00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:25,680 Speaker 2: You know, like I've said this four hundred times. You know, 1061 00:47:25,680 --> 00:47:27,840 Speaker 2: a bitch's titties come out at any party. If the 1062 00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:30,680 Speaker 2: heat goes over eighty two degrees, my shirt comes off, 1063 00:47:30,719 --> 00:47:32,840 Speaker 2: and no matter who's around, if I'm in a comfortable, 1064 00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:35,560 Speaker 2: safe setting. But I think I've had people think that 1065 00:47:35,640 --> 00:47:39,200 Speaker 2: it's sexual or attention seeking and sometimes, bitch, I'm just naked, 1066 00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:45,040 Speaker 2: and like, don't project your the Western world's like understanding 1067 00:47:45,040 --> 00:47:48,520 Speaker 2: of sex and sexuality on kids or anyone or yourself, 1068 00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:49,719 Speaker 2: because we're so. 1069 00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:50,600 Speaker 3: Much more than that. 1070 00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:51,760 Speaker 1: Amen. 1071 00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:58,840 Speaker 2: So that concludes where our horrishness began, our early childhood 1072 00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:01,000 Speaker 2: adolescent freakiness. 1073 00:48:02,239 --> 00:48:03,839 Speaker 1: I hope that you'll share. I want to hear about 1074 00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:06,759 Speaker 1: your virginity story. So if you guys have any virginity 1075 00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:09,000 Speaker 1: stories that you'd like to share that we can share 1076 00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:12,360 Speaker 1: throughout the month, please please share them. Also, this is 1077 00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:14,719 Speaker 1: a great month to send those hories in, So if 1078 00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:16,839 Speaker 1: you have any hories that you would like to share, 1079 00:48:16,920 --> 00:48:18,239 Speaker 1: And if you don't know what a hoy is, it 1080 00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:22,480 Speaker 1: is a highly hosh host hoos story that is either 1081 00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:26,640 Speaker 1: funny or just great or just level ten hoish and 1082 00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:27,400 Speaker 1: we love that. 1083 00:48:27,480 --> 00:48:29,880 Speaker 2: Oh my god, I still remember the host story of 1084 00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:31,759 Speaker 2: the gardener and the Sodacan. 1085 00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:35,440 Speaker 1: Oh god, what episode was that you won't have to 1086 00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:37,719 Speaker 1: bring have to like bring some like hories out of 1087 00:48:37,760 --> 00:48:38,480 Speaker 1: retirement that. 1088 00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:39,880 Speaker 2: One needs to become out of retirement. That was one 1089 00:48:39,880 --> 00:48:44,120 Speaker 2: of my favorite. Anyway, thank you for sharing. And you know, 1090 00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:47,000 Speaker 2: if you're just joining us, you're new to the show, 1091 00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:48,680 Speaker 2: this is a safe space. 1092 00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:50,359 Speaker 3: So if you're in your car at. 1093 00:48:50,280 --> 00:48:52,279 Speaker 2: Home judging the shit out of us for telling all 1094 00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:54,879 Speaker 2: our business, don't, just know that this is a safe 1095 00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:56,960 Speaker 2: space that you can come and tell whatever the fuck 1096 00:48:57,000 --> 00:48:59,759 Speaker 2: you want. You can feel comfortable in your skin and 1097 00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:02,880 Speaker 2: your experiences in your stories because there's none too weird 1098 00:49:03,160 --> 00:49:05,759 Speaker 2: or too hory, or too graphic or too dirty to 1099 00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:08,840 Speaker 2: talk to us about. As we understand, everyone has different 1100 00:49:08,880 --> 00:49:11,680 Speaker 2: life experiences and all are welcome. 1101 00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:14,799 Speaker 1: Yes, And you know what I did actually add a 1102 00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:17,680 Speaker 1: hoary channel to the Slack group. So if you guys 1103 00:49:17,680 --> 00:49:20,960 Speaker 1: are on Patreon and you're part of our slack community 1104 00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:24,120 Speaker 1: where we all talk per day, you can share your 1105 00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:27,600 Speaker 1: hories there. We are sharing hories talking about them and 1106 00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:29,719 Speaker 1: it's fun. I love it over there. 1107 00:49:30,680 --> 00:49:32,560 Speaker 2: Yeah. 1108 00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:36,239 Speaker 1: Well, anyway, we will catch you next week. I love you. 1109 00:49:37,719 --> 00:49:41,680 Speaker 2: Leave this episode a review, rate and review us goddamn it, 1110 00:49:41,719 --> 00:49:44,880 Speaker 2: because it's important. If you're not already, follow us on Instagram. 1111 00:49:44,920 --> 00:49:47,520 Speaker 2: It's Good Mom's Underscore Bad Choices, and we're Good Mom's 1112 00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:51,200 Speaker 2: Bad Choices on all podcasting platforms If you have a 1113 00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:52,799 Speaker 2: friend that hasn't heard us yet, they need to hear 1114 00:49:52,840 --> 00:49:56,160 Speaker 2: about our horrishness as teenagers or any other horrishness. Please 1115 00:49:56,800 --> 00:50:00,160 Speaker 2: share this episode and all of your favorite episod so 1116 00:50:00,200 --> 00:50:03,360 Speaker 2: it's because sharing is caring and we love you. 1117 00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:08,319 Speaker 3: And he's the busy playing at least, so. 1118 00:50:10,360 --> 00:50:12,000 Speaker 2: Mortify your destiny. 1119 00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:14,680 Speaker 1: You can't get no sleep. 1120 00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:20,279 Speaker 3: Don't take a seat because they will cream walk the 1121 00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:21,600 Speaker 3: dust off my eyes. 1122 00:50:21,719 --> 00:50:24,080 Speaker 1: Just let it rise, don't. 1123 00:50:23,920 --> 00:50:42,800 Speaker 4: Let it die, Dolls los tree, y'all's gone back. 1124 00:50:44,680 --> 00:50:51,080 Speaker 3: And I'm the buzzing plane like grow grow. I've got 1125 00:50:51,160 --> 00:50:54,240 Speaker 3: the sin and the busy. 1126 00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:56,400 Speaker 2: Growl. 1127 00:50:58,640 --> 00:50:59,560 Speaker 1: He's got the seed. 1128 00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:04,480 Speaker 3: Been an un deposing playing Make it roll gold 1129 00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:09,359 Speaker 1: Mm hmm