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Speaker 1: Welcome to Decisions Decisions. I don't think you should say

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Speaker 1: Decision Decisions. It sounded like you was talking to Kirsty.

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Speaker 2: You definitely say to welcome, Welcome to the new podcast.

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Speaker 2: Oh wait, you want to say together Decisions Decisions.

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Speaker 3: Hey guys, No Holds Bart is going live and tickets

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Speaker 3: are available now.

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Speaker 2: We are so excited to be back on the road.

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Speaker 2: We've added so many new cities and don't worry, this

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Speaker 2: is not your average book tour.

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Speaker 3: That's right, No Holds Bart ad a manifesto of sexual

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Speaker 3: exploration and power, is hitting the stage. And for everyone

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Speaker 3: that's coming general admission and VIP, you do have the

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Speaker 3: opportunity to add a signed copy of the book to

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Speaker 3: your ticket.

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Speaker 2: Make sure you hurry up click the link in this bio.

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Speaker 2: We're going to see you soon.

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Speaker 3: Welcome everybody to another episode of Decisions Decisions.

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Speaker 2: I'm your girl, men, dy b I am WEEZYWTF. We

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Speaker 2: are back for another episode and we haven't really caught.

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Speaker 1: Up about much, but we know Mandy got a boyfriend.

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Speaker 3: I mean we've been saying that now for a while.

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Speaker 3: You know things are good.

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Speaker 2: So how do you guys schedule? So you guys, last

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Speaker 2: time I know you saw him. We were in Denver

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Speaker 2: for work.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm going literally after this trip to La to

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Speaker 3: be with him for one of his work things. And

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Speaker 3: then he's already looking up flights to come to Atlanta

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Speaker 3: to spend another week with me. It's so strange because

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Speaker 3: I enjoy my space. Even in my last relationship, I

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Speaker 3: would see my partner three to four days a week.

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Speaker 3: There's not a trip I go on where I want

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Speaker 3: to be there more than four days. It doesn't matter

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Speaker 3: if it's international or not. Like I literally go to

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Speaker 3: Abu Dhabi for my birthday for four days, and so

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Speaker 3: I could tell he's having a thing about that because

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Speaker 3: he's like, I guess I only get to see you

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Speaker 3: for three to four days.

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Speaker 1: Oh love you, Madia. I was about to be like,

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Speaker 1: can you stay one more day so we could record

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Speaker 1: I get to Las. Yeah, no, I'm leaving. I got

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Speaker 1: to go back for work in Atlanta.

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Speaker 3: But I literally am like, I know my capacity as

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Speaker 3: a person to be around somebody. Like it's to the

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Speaker 3: point where even when people started staying with me when

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Speaker 3: I still lived here in New York, by after the

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Speaker 3: third day, I would get them a hotel like I

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Speaker 3: cannot be confined in a space with someone very long,

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Speaker 3: and I'm very aware of that, and so because we're

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Speaker 3: now staying at each other's place, I'm like, O, babe,

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Speaker 3: this is the capacity I have, Like vacation with your friends,

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Speaker 3: for lord, No, not for more than four days. Literally

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Speaker 3: with Crystal, we went to South Africa for four days.

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Speaker 1: I lived in Asia.

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Speaker 3: I was living in Singapore, and we did each stop

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Speaker 3: at a different time. But also like in one we'd

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Speaker 3: have a villa multiple rooms, and one we'd have multiple

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Speaker 3: rooms if there was more than like we wouldn't stay

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Speaker 3: in the same room.

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Speaker 1: Okay, well two bedroom keeps me happy. Yeah, Like, well,

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Speaker 1: I don't have another bed.

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Speaker 3: My second bedroom is a content space and luckily I

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Speaker 3: have an upstairs and down there now. But no, I

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Speaker 3: realize like how much I need my space. And I'm

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Speaker 3: trying to talk to him because he's lived with his

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Speaker 3: last two exes and so he's used to that confinement

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Speaker 3: and being on someone experience for being not young, but

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Speaker 3: I haven't. So I am just like trying to tell

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Speaker 3: him it's not about you, but to me in order

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Speaker 3: to I hate that he takes it as like I'm

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Speaker 3: dealing with him or putting up with him. But I'm

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Speaker 3: just fully aware that I need space from people. Like

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Speaker 3: even Rosie just came and spent a couple of days

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Speaker 3: in my house, and before she came, she went and

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Speaker 3: stayed with a friend before she even came to my house,

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Speaker 3: because I knew how long she was going to be

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Speaker 3: in Atlanta. And luckily I have my little discount, but

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Speaker 3: I will literally buy somebody a hotel room so that

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Speaker 3: they're not in my space. So right now, with being

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Speaker 3: that we're commuting to see each other, and again, luckily

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Speaker 3: it's been every two to three weeks, so I feel lucky.

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Speaker 3: It's like baby four days.

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Speaker 1: So when he comes to Atlanta, so much more, I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I don't care, Like he literally just booked a flight

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Speaker 3: to where he's like, technically it's five but it's not.

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Speaker 3: So he's coming in Monday night at like two am,

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Speaker 3: so technically that's Tuesday and leaving Friday. To him, that's

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Speaker 3: a Monday through Friday. So he's sneaking in a fifth day.

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Speaker 3: But I'm like, babe, I don't want you to take

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Speaker 3: it like thing. But there's literally nobody in the world

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Speaker 3: like that. I want to spend that much time with

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Speaker 3: like even my family. I'll go to Orlando and spend

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Speaker 3: one day like I I really like my alone time.

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Speaker 3: I really like the ability to recharge my social battery.

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Speaker 3: And I'm fully self aware that I like my space.

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Speaker 3: I like my time. I like that and I almost

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Speaker 3: need it. It's not even that I like it, I

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Speaker 3: need it. And so that's what we're talking about now

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Speaker 3: because he's like, babe, we live like on two different coasts,

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Speaker 3: Like damn, can I see?

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Speaker 1: Like he literally wants me to go see his family.

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Speaker 3: In Italy this summer, and I was like, okay, well

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Speaker 3: I'll go there for about four days and you can

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Speaker 3: stay longer.

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Speaker 1: Stop swear to god.

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Speaker 4: I kind of get that, you.

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Speaker 1: Know what I mean? Like, no, no, no, that's like that's

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Speaker 1: a lot. Now if you're with his family for four

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Speaker 1: days and then you guys do something else, that's still

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Speaker 1: being with him for more, like that is a lot.

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Speaker 3: I need my and to me, it sounds even stranger

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Speaker 3: for me to go stay by myself long vacation.

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Speaker 1: You've never taken maybe five days but.

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Speaker 4: The partner only five days.

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Speaker 1: No, not with the partner, even with friends.

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Speaker 3: But I'm now even since then, I have my own room,

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Speaker 3: like even Deangre's birthday, Like I could call Crystal right now,

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Speaker 3: like I kind of want to call it right now

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Speaker 3: and be like Crystal and Crystal is who travels with

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Speaker 3: me everywhere. That's the longest we've done is four days,

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Speaker 3: even going to South Africa. We did Johannesburg for two

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Speaker 3: days and came down for two days.

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Speaker 1: Four days is like.

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Speaker 3: Literally by Max to be around people before I'm like,

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna go off by myself.

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Speaker 1: I need no that. It's what like Vinnie and I

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Speaker 1: have traveled for weeks on end together. Nah, I've never

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Speaker 1: done that. He's yeah, we like travel.

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Speaker 2: I mean that's what we used to do we're young,

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Speaker 2: laur in Europe or exploring Asia, like.

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Speaker 1: Even when I toured two weeks around. We love it.

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Speaker 2: But what we do is we separate. So if we're

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Speaker 2: not in separate rooms, which for most of the time

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Speaker 2: at this age now that always happens. But yeah, he

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Speaker 2: would do his own thing, I'd stay in like I'm

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Speaker 2: not and him and I And that's why Vinny and

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Speaker 2: I are such good friends. We could be in a club,

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Speaker 2: lose each other and find each other and not be

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Speaker 2: angry and you know some motherfucker.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, no, I do that with some people.

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Speaker 2: Be like, oh, well, then we came to I've never

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Speaker 2: been like that, and maybe that's what helps. But you're

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Speaker 2: making me think because so Frianda met somebody and I

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Speaker 2: wanted to see a photo and she's like, no, because

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Speaker 2: you and my partner living each other's skin, and you're

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Speaker 2: gonna tell him and I have to keep it close

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Speaker 2: to the chest, that's between me and God until it

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Speaker 2: goes forward. And I'm like, I'm not gonna tell him.

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Speaker 2: She's like, yes, you are. And I remember she came

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Speaker 2: back from a date and he was in the house

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Speaker 2: and we both had like tell us and yeah. I

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Speaker 2: think a lot of our friends feel like that right

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Speaker 2: now that we are spending a lot of time together.

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Speaker 1: And I don't know.

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Speaker 2: It's interesting because there are two different types of people,

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Speaker 2: you know, Like one of my friends is dating someone

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Speaker 2: who feels the same as your partner, kind of like,

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Speaker 2: why can't I have more with you when we live

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Speaker 2: in two different cities, and he's like, bro, I just

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Speaker 2: it's not even about her. I just after a few days,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, ah, I need to be alone. It's not

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Speaker 2: about him, and I told him that whereas my partner

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Speaker 2: is like, I'm not really feeling that. I don't feel

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Speaker 2: like my alone time is needed to recharge. I may

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Speaker 2: need a moment of not talking or being having some space,

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Speaker 2: but I don't feel like that. Even in Thailand we

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Speaker 2: were doing we never really had a moment where we

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Speaker 2: were feeling like I need a night alone. But I

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Speaker 2: think it's just everyone's temperament. Because my friend that expressed

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Speaker 2: that to me was like, bro, I feel so bad

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Speaker 2: that I'm in love with her and she thinks I

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Speaker 2: don't want to be around her. However, I will say,

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Speaker 2: I said to him, how do you then be with

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Speaker 2: someone long term that completely feels invalidated because you can't

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Speaker 2: spend that much.

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Speaker 1: Time with them? Oh no, they got to take that

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Speaker 1: up with a therapist.

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Speaker 3: I'm telling him it is not about him, and I

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Speaker 3: think that that's the problem with dating. I know you

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Speaker 3: chuckled a little bit, but to be fair, I'm very

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Speaker 3: aware of mil's issue. No, if you feel invalidated, what

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Speaker 3: I'm telling you, it's not you, it's me needing space.

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Speaker 3: I'm a human being who has had a lot of

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Speaker 3: time alone, who spends a lot of time around other people,

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Speaker 3: who works a lot in a capacity where I'm constantly

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Speaker 3: around other people, I'm fully aware that I need space.

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Speaker 3: This has nothing to do with a lack of interest

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Speaker 3: to you. This has nothing to do with my investment

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Speaker 3: to you. This has nothing to do with how much

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Speaker 3: I like you. And it's so funny because we both

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Speaker 3: are catching ourselves with the L word right now and

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Speaker 3: he's like, ooh, almost said it. I was okay, I baby,

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Speaker 3: And we do this thing where we kiss when we

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Speaker 3: hang up, and we're both not saying it, but I'm like,

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Speaker 3: I feel so adored by this man, like I really

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Speaker 3: genuine like him. And it's so crazy because when we're

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Speaker 3: like around each other, the PDA is crazy. Like we

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Speaker 3: we hug, we hold hands, we have to wrap each

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Speaker 3: other around each other, like the forehead kisses the mouth kis.

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Speaker 1: It isn't like to me, that's not a compromise.

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Speaker 3: My compromise is four days and I'm spending money to

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Speaker 3: come to la You spend money to come to Atlanta.

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Speaker 1: We meet in between. We make these plans.

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Speaker 3: I love the idea of missing you, but in this

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Speaker 3: space that I'm in where I'm constantly around other people.

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Speaker 1: I really wholeheartedly.

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Speaker 3: Need my recharge, like and I think that's why I'm

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Speaker 3: really enjoying this move right now, because I don't have

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Speaker 3: the fomo of being outside in Atlanta, and I literally

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Speaker 3: just spend time in my house.

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Speaker 1: Oh you should see. I'm belave to very laugh because

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Speaker 1: like I can feel that because when I'm in New York.

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Speaker 1: New York makes me la.

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Speaker 3: I don't feel like I have to be outside and

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Speaker 3: it's constantly my mind doesn't stop. Oh you should see.

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Speaker 3: Y'all could talk about me as a cat mom. I

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Speaker 3: don't care. There's times where I'm literally at the house

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Speaker 3: and I will lock Body in a room because he

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Speaker 3: just be.

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Speaker 1: Trying to be up on me. Sometimes, Body go away,

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Speaker 1: now hold on, I will put body in a last

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Speaker 1: When Mandy said.

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Speaker 4: I guess it's more so of the fact that I'm wondering,

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Speaker 4: is it down to a tea that you know that

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Speaker 4: it is a four day thing?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, like even with traveling. Yes, Like I'm going to

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Speaker 3: Jamaica literally for Labor Day weekend. Y'all, Choco blizz, get

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Speaker 3: your tickets now join me there. And it's five to

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Speaker 3: seven days.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like you, I don't know if I can't,

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Speaker 1: I can't go. It's always a long trip.

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Speaker 3: Five, Like anything more than four is a long time,

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Speaker 3: even for me to be around. Like Crystal, who we

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Speaker 3: have a thirteen year friendship. It's literally what I know

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Speaker 3: with her, and she had she had a day job,

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Speaker 3: like I traveled a lot. Like we even used to

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Speaker 3: say there would be days where we wouldn't see each other. Bro,

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Speaker 3: I had niggas coming in the house that she never met. Like, Bro,

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Speaker 3: how the fuck we live together this long? And I

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Speaker 3: ain't never seen this thing. Anything came and knock them down.

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Speaker 2: But I'm thinking for compromise, and genuinely you care about

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Speaker 2: this person.

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Speaker 1: He cares about you.

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Speaker 2: Fuck the invalidation thing and saying it's an insecurity he

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Speaker 2: wants to go on a trip with you Europe is

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Speaker 2: far right. Let's just say he's like, yo, I would

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Speaker 2: love to spend three days with you and my family

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Speaker 2: and three days with us on the beach like in Europe.

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Speaker 2: Like that's a long trek for both of you, especially

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Speaker 2: him being in La for him.

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Speaker 1: It's a long trek for me it's six eight hours.

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Speaker 1: But still it's a thing he wants to do with you.

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Speaker 1: Could you because you.

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Speaker 2: He's what Eden's making the point of is like you're

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Speaker 2: saying it's four days. Maybe could you try to see

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Speaker 2: how you can recharge yourself while spending that much time?

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Speaker 4: That's actually another reason. Yet you're right, that is kind

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Speaker 4: of also why I chuckled a bit because it makes

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Speaker 4: me wonder, Okay, how do we get Mandy to day five?

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Speaker 1: Right? That is I mean he's trying to figure it out,

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Speaker 1: which is why.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's I mean I think I would be trying

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Speaker 4: to figure out how to make this day five happen.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but I think we're we're also still so new,

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Speaker 3: like I don't want to be in a point like

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Speaker 3: I love that. Also when we're around, there's no arguments,

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Speaker 3: it's fun Like, I love that. I don't want to

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Speaker 3: get to the point where maybe he sees me so

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Speaker 3: early in my funk. I'm fully aware that I need

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Speaker 3: a break, girl, I.

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Speaker 1: Need a charge a man knowing you get in your moods. Oh,

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Speaker 1: he's a relationship. He's fine.

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Speaker 3: He has seen me get testy with like an uber

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Speaker 3: driver or him not. It's funny because he drives in

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Speaker 3: LA and I have like a thing about I'm gonna

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Speaker 3: do the Ubers because every time in Vegas that he

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Speaker 3: even ordered a Uber wrong pin drop and it was

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Speaker 3: like we were waiting on a fucking car too long.

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Speaker 1: So I'm just like, I got it.

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Speaker 3: But to me, I mean again, I think in relationships,

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Speaker 3: I think what's important is self awareness and I think

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Speaker 3: a lot of people like it. I am being very

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Speaker 3: open with what I can, what I can deal.

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Speaker 1: With him, what I can, what I can. I think

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Speaker 1: you don't know. I know I'm telling.

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Speaker 2: No, I know you don't know what this person. That's unfair.

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Speaker 2: It's not unfair. It's me as a person. It's with

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Speaker 2: my ex's with my best friends, it's with my family,

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Speaker 2: it's with work. Like and I think that's another thing,

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Speaker 2: Like damn, I'm saying what I know about myself and

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Speaker 2: people are like, well, maybe you don't.

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Speaker 1: Like I think it just lacks compromise.

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Speaker 2: Seriously, I think if someone say, if the shoe was

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Speaker 2: on the other foot, to know that someone couldn't try

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Speaker 2: for you, I think four days in Europe, I get

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Speaker 2: what you mean. We have the means to bounce around

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Speaker 2: and do what we want to do, but like not

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Speaker 2: everybody bounces back like that, like jet lag, time spent

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Speaker 2: like maybe he wants to show you more of what

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Speaker 2: he's seen. Like, I think it's perfectly normal and okay

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Speaker 2: to say, can I get another day or two out

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Speaker 2: of you? And you could learn how to recharge? If

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Speaker 2: it's a hard no for you, it's a hard no

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Speaker 2: for you, But I think being that you have someone

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Speaker 2: that you know really cares about you, I think he'd

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Speaker 2: be more than willing to help you find that space,

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Speaker 2: like and be open to it, like if you really

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Speaker 2: need the recharge, because there has to be at some

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Speaker 2: point you learn to recharge while around a partner, Like

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Speaker 2: I think that does have to exist.

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Speaker 4: What does that cooled down look like for you? Let's

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Speaker 4: say four days happened, and this amongst your partner or

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Speaker 4: like your friends us, Let's say like four days happens,

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Speaker 4: how do you cool down? And when do you know

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Speaker 4: you're ready to see your partner again?

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Speaker 1: I literally am home the whole day.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, like soaking, I take my nap.

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Speaker 3: Like it's funny because he knows my routine. Like when

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Speaker 3: I'm home, I have a three o'clock nap. I like

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Speaker 3: having on my pads. I like if I want to

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Speaker 3: turn on a TV, I turn it on sometimes I clean,

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Speaker 3: like it's a literal shut down from everyone, Like I

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Speaker 3: might be on the phone till maybe ten am because

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Speaker 3: I'm like a seven am riser and that's it. Like

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Speaker 3: I'm literally away from crowds and people. And I think

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Speaker 3: I think it's gotten worse because of the capacity of us,

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Speaker 3: even touring the live shows, the constant like dealing with

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Speaker 3: multiple teams, you know, like we're in slack.

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Speaker 1: I have slack for two other businesses.

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Speaker 3: Like it's a constant thing to where I literally in

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Speaker 3: order for me to show up is my best self.

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Speaker 3: It's something that I need and and to me, we'll

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Speaker 3: work around it. But that's something that I need. And

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Speaker 3: I don't want to get to a place where I

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Speaker 3: resent somebody over compromiser, being forced to do something that

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Speaker 3: I don't want to. And I think that already dealing

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Speaker 3: with the long distance and us finding ways to compromise

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Speaker 3: with each other, we are like I even told him,

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Speaker 3: like moody shit, I don't really like. So I said, hey, babe,

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Speaker 3: if you realize you want a mood we cannot do

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Speaker 3: it like I did it when like he has a

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Speaker 3: lot going on with work and so even before he

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Speaker 3: came to Denver. I was like, if you're in a

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Speaker 3: mood and you're not in the best space, I'd rather

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Speaker 3: you not come to Denver. Like, I'm also very particular

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Speaker 3: with when we finally get to see each other, that

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Speaker 3: we have this amazing time together that all of the

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Speaker 3: outside noise doesn't bother us enjoying each other. And I

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Speaker 3: guess that's also my view on partnership, Like I'm looking

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Speaker 3: at our partnership in relationship as being able to exhibit

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Speaker 3: and live life together and make memories together. But it's

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Speaker 3: also I'm not looking to cohabitate. I'm not looking for marriage,

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Speaker 3: I'm not looking for kids, and so all of those

355
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Speaker 3: stressors don't exist. We should be able to like, really,

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Speaker 3: you know, just enjoy each other. I get to do

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Speaker 3: that with my friends. I really want to be able

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Speaker 3: to do that with my partner.

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Speaker 4: Wheezy, Where do you feel like your limit might be

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00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:09,080
Speaker 4: a first, let's say if we were to like try

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Speaker 4: to calculate it both the cool down and like, let's

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Speaker 4: say after it.

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Speaker 2: Right, my limit is actually only social spaces with people I'm.

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Speaker 1: Not comfortable with.

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Speaker 4: Time wise, though, Like let's say she gave us four days.

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Speaker 1: No, she said she could be Oh no, I couldn't

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Speaker 1: be with my partner every day.

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Speaker 4: Give me, there has to be a limit. There's no way, dog,

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Speaker 4: I'm okay. So even though I know you're in like livydw,

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Speaker 4: but still no some real.

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Speaker 1: Shit, like I'm very comfortable with him.

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Speaker 2: You have to remember also, I lived with someone before,

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Speaker 2: when I was in Mexico living with old Bay Like.

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Speaker 2: Of course he's a piece of shit, but I wasn't taught.

375
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Speaker 2: I know how to live with someone and not to

376
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Speaker 2: have my own space. I've never lived in a one

377
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Speaker 2: bedroom with someone. I've never had a roommate. Weard enough space,

378
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:52,760
Speaker 2: so I'm pretty good with that. I was actually thinking

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Speaker 2: of something when you were talking, because my partner also

380
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Speaker 2: told me he's never spent so much time with someone.

381
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Speaker 2: He's like, I really thought I needed my alone time.

382
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Speaker 2: But we kind of know what to do with each

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Speaker 2: other to recharge.

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Speaker 1: He said.

385
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Speaker 2: I was in a really bad mood. And don't get

386
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,720
Speaker 2: me wrong, we understand when space happens. But I was

387
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,359
Speaker 2: upset about something and he wanted to comfort me, and

388
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Speaker 2: we had plans, and he said, listen, if we were

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Speaker 2: living together already, what would you want me to do?

390
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:21,560
Speaker 2: Go out and sit outside. You want me to go

391
00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:24,280
Speaker 2: stuff myself in the second bedroom. You need to learn

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Speaker 2: how to be around me.

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Speaker 1: I don't give a fuck Like you're sitting here screaming

394
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Speaker 1: calling me because you need me, but you don't want

395
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Speaker 1: me to see you like this. I'm going to see

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Speaker 1: you and show up for you.

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Speaker 2: You need some space when we're in the house, fine,

398
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Speaker 2: I'll take Nina whatever, but I'm going to see you

399
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Speaker 2: in every emotion.

400
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:40,080
Speaker 1: We talked about marriage.

401
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:42,160
Speaker 2: And being together for the future, like and you don't

402
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:43,560
Speaker 2: want me to see you like this?

403
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:44,400
Speaker 1: That was it.

404
00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:46,040
Speaker 2: I was like, I can have you seen me like this?

405
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:48,959
Speaker 2: And he was like, oh Na, like this, this is

406
00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:52,040
Speaker 2: what life is. This is what my partnership and me

407
00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:55,040
Speaker 2: giving myself to you is, which is the opposite of me,

408
00:17:55,119 --> 00:17:57,000
Speaker 2: so I think, but I think no one's wrong, No, no, no,

409
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,320
Speaker 2: I'm not saying you're wrong at all. This is where

410
00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:02,159
Speaker 2: I I love that we are different. We exist with

411
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:03,800
Speaker 2: partners that are different or may want different things.

412
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Speaker 1: I do want to build on this conversation for sex. Yeah.

413
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:11,280
Speaker 2: What's interesting about what happened was I, for a moment

414
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:14,639
Speaker 2: thought what he was doing was wrong, And what I

415
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:18,480
Speaker 2: realized is that that was a big step for me

416
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:23,840
Speaker 2: because I was feeling really down, really bad, and I

417
00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:28,080
Speaker 2: hadn't gotten that vulnerable yet. What I was feeling was

418
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Speaker 2: I can never let him see me like this because

419
00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:32,920
Speaker 2: he thinks of me a certain way. So it wasn't

420
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Speaker 2: like just a bad day, like I need to be

421
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Speaker 2: by myself tonight, babe.

422
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Speaker 1: It was like, I'm really hurting.

423
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Speaker 2: I think in my past relationships, I have only came

424
00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:43,840
Speaker 2: to partners when I need them.

425
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Speaker 1: I haven't let them shown up for me in those moments.

426
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Speaker 2: And I realized that's something that makes him feel like

427
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:55,479
Speaker 2: we are closer and connected, knowing that we can support

428
00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:57,879
Speaker 2: each other because he wants it from me if he

429
00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:01,920
Speaker 2: needs me. So it's weird because in one way, I've

430
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:04,199
Speaker 2: definitely seen it as like this face is good, but

431
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:07,639
Speaker 2: I also can see the other side of hey, we

432
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:12,280
Speaker 2: have to know every facet. And it's crazy because Brion

433
00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:13,880
Speaker 2: did and I go back and forth about this a lot.

434
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:16,159
Speaker 2: She's who I've talked a lot about this relationship with.

435
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:18,919
Speaker 2: I guess she's seen it the most hands on, and

436
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:21,440
Speaker 2: she's like, Damn, I don't know if I ever want

437
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:23,200
Speaker 2: to be as in love with someone as the two

438
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:26,680
Speaker 2: of you are, because I would never let my man

439
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:29,199
Speaker 2: know I was hurting like this. I would never let

440
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:31,679
Speaker 2: him know I was feeling ugly or fat or just

441
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,240
Speaker 2: making shit of right now, feeling fat, feeling down about myself.

442
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:35,400
Speaker 2: I don't know if I would ever let a man

443
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,959
Speaker 2: see that. And I'm like, I can't believe I did

444
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:40,879
Speaker 2: let a man see that. On the contrary, we had

445
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:42,479
Speaker 2: this conversation in front of him, and he was like,

446
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:46,639
Speaker 2: I wouldn't be with a woman if I couldn't understand

447
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:49,000
Speaker 2: her completely and fully. I would hate for her to

448
00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:51,960
Speaker 2: have these dark thoughts about herself or something that's going

449
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:54,159
Speaker 2: on and I can't see it for you?

450
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:55,600
Speaker 1: Who am I to you? Then?

451
00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:57,879
Speaker 2: Is there another friend that's doing this? Is there a

452
00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:58,840
Speaker 2: place I can't meet?

453
00:19:58,880 --> 00:19:59,000
Speaker 1: Like?

454
00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:02,399
Speaker 2: How is it possible that you're hurting this bad if

455
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:04,840
Speaker 2: I'm the closest person to you and I can't help you.

456
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,720
Speaker 2: And we talked a lot about that because when no

457
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:10,600
Speaker 2: Hol's barred, I was writing it the depression chapter set

458
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:12,760
Speaker 2: in and he's like, have you ever been depressed? With

459
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:15,639
Speaker 2: Obay said his name. I was like a little bit,

460
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:17,800
Speaker 2: And he's like he couldn't see it or read it,

461
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,399
Speaker 2: And how is it that you thought you were in

462
00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:22,680
Speaker 2: love with someone and you couldn't open up to them,

463
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:25,000
Speaker 2: like I'm hurting, I feel like this. He's like, you're

464
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,760
Speaker 2: telling me you ran in a car to get on

465
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,440
Speaker 2: the phone with a therapist and had a man with

466
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:32,119
Speaker 2: you that loves you and you didn't say it out loud.

467
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,639
Speaker 1: And you know what's crazy? That showed me.

468
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:39,919
Speaker 2: I may not have been that in love because I

469
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:42,560
Speaker 2: could tell a friend easy when I need some help.

470
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:47,240
Speaker 2: But for some reason, in romantic relationships, that vulnerability looks different.

471
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:51,840
Speaker 3: It's weird. I even on the opposite sense of that

472
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:56,000
Speaker 3: had the conversation. I think we actually had this conversation

473
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:59,639
Speaker 3: on the podcast. Like I would go to Crystal or

474
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:03,119
Speaker 3: It or Carla or my therapist with things, I have

475
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:09,000
Speaker 3: zero expectations of my partner being somebody to see feel

476
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:13,719
Speaker 3: here everything that I'm going through. I don't put that

477
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:16,919
Speaker 3: emphasis on a romantic partner to be someone to be

478
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:22,240
Speaker 3: able to receive or take in all of my feelings

479
00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:23,800
Speaker 3: of everything that I'm doing.

480
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:27,240
Speaker 1: I think literally I'll text my therapist.

481
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:28,920
Speaker 3: And be like, oh shit, something's bothering me, and it's

482
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:31,199
Speaker 3: something that I may never even tell my partner because

483
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:33,480
Speaker 3: he's not a podcaster. We even talk about how we're

484
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:36,640
Speaker 3: in completely different industries. I think that where I'm at,

485
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:42,720
Speaker 3: and maybe I'm leaning more towards this poly like way

486
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:48,320
Speaker 3: of thinking, I have zero desire for my partner to

487
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:52,840
Speaker 3: feel or have the expect or the expectations of taking

488
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:57,760
Speaker 3: me on fully with every feeling, every issue in my life,

489
00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:59,199
Speaker 3: every element of my life.

490
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:01,800
Speaker 1: Because again, he's my romantic partner.

491
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:04,560
Speaker 3: How we exist is so different than than my relationship

492
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:06,800
Speaker 3: with my therapist, than my relationship with my mom, than

493
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:09,280
Speaker 3: my relationship with Crystal and all of my other best friends.

494
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:12,479
Speaker 2: I think we do need to obviously still keep your

495
00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:17,040
Speaker 2: friendships and shit. I think in this particular conversation I'm having,

496
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:22,040
Speaker 2: it's more so the vulnerability. It's not like, tell me everything,

497
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,800
Speaker 2: but I need to know when you're going through it

498
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:27,680
Speaker 2: and when there's pain there, because I haven't.

499
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:28,159
Speaker 1: Done that before.

500
00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:32,040
Speaker 2: Like I did not like to show my worse self

501
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,360
Speaker 2: in a relationship because I never felt like it would

502
00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:37,720
Speaker 2: be conducive to how they view me, kind of like

503
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 2: me looking raggedy, Like I don't want you to see

504
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:43,800
Speaker 2: me looking raggedy, But maybe you know what exists without make.

505
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:44,560
Speaker 1: Or whatever it might be.

506
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:48,480
Speaker 2: I think like that was a very interesting turning point

507
00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:50,320
Speaker 2: in learning that I'm with someone that wants to be

508
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,679
Speaker 2: with me for the long haul, because you're carrying in

509
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:56,480
Speaker 2: a different way. I also understand because if I found

510
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:59,439
Speaker 2: out my partner was able to come to other people

511
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:02,320
Speaker 2: about things that they couldn't come to with me, not

512
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:06,159
Speaker 2: work issues, like a podcasting, something that was deep and

513
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:07,920
Speaker 2: serious to them, that would.

514
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,280
Speaker 3: Hurt I don't know if that would hurt me. I

515
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:12,200
Speaker 3: think that's the crazy thing. Me and him are having

516
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:16,000
Speaker 3: these conversations a lot about what it looks like like

517
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:20,000
Speaker 3: he has a female best friend. We actually just had

518
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:23,440
Speaker 3: this conversation recently and he was like, I kind of

519
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:25,399
Speaker 3: feel like you're not as invested or don't care, Like

520
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,720
Speaker 3: I'm having to try to see what would you not

521
00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:34,240
Speaker 3: allow because just with with anything like what she looked

522
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:39,200
Speaker 3: like his best friend is gorgeous doesn't bother me. I

523
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:41,280
Speaker 3: have I have a lot of I have a lot

524
00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:44,520
Speaker 3: of male best friends. And what I'm realizing is he

525
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:48,359
Speaker 3: has the confusion with my response to a lot of things,

526
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:51,800
Speaker 3: and he's like, oh my god, like I went to

527
00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:54,800
Speaker 3: my best friend's play then dropped her best friend off

528
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:57,400
Speaker 3: at home and met her family and we all hung

529
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,359
Speaker 3: out and ate dinner before the play, and he was like,

530
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:02,760
Speaker 3: you asked me how the play was, You asked me

531
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:06,520
Speaker 3: how the dinner was, and that's it. He's like, I

532
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:09,240
Speaker 3: counted if I shared that same story with any of

533
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:12,240
Speaker 3: my exes, I would have all hell would have broke loose,

534
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:15,840
Speaker 3: because what do you mean you dropped off another woman home?

535
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:19,800
Speaker 3: What do you mean you met your female best friends?

536
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:21,960
Speaker 3: He was like, I actually wasn't allowed to have my

537
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,600
Speaker 3: best friend around in my last relationship because she was

538
00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:27,280
Speaker 3: a woman. And so he's like, I had this conversation

539
00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:29,760
Speaker 3: with my mom trying to figure out what the line is,

540
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:34,320
Speaker 3: because you don't show up with jealousy and rage and

541
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:35,919
Speaker 3: arguments over things that.

542
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:39,159
Speaker 1: In my past relationships sayame too well. But that's the thing.

543
00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:41,080
Speaker 3: And I told him, I said, there's no way I

544
00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:43,600
Speaker 3: would show up that way because when I'm out with Keith,

545
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:46,720
Speaker 3: or I'm on the phone with Ish, or I'm like

546
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:48,919
Speaker 3: literally my homeboy side came over my house the other

547
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:49,680
Speaker 3: day for game night.

548
00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:51,480
Speaker 1: I said, Babe, I'm around a lot of men.

549
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:53,359
Speaker 3: I said, there's no way I could show up that

550
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:56,480
Speaker 3: way because I, in no way would expect your behavior

551
00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 3: to be that way with.

552
00:24:57,160 --> 00:25:05,520
Speaker 1: Me, Wolf, just because you're ho teppye.

553
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:09,600
Speaker 2: So my partner has told me this is the first

554
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:11,439
Speaker 2: time he's ever been around a woman that's had so

555
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:14,159
Speaker 2: many men around. And now you know my homeboys are

556
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:16,680
Speaker 2: his alex Andre whatever, even my gay male friends.

557
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:16,960
Speaker 1: Right.

558
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:24,119
Speaker 2: I'm bringing this up because when Brie found out my

559
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:26,400
Speaker 2: male friends were hanging or maybe one needed to stay

560
00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:28,919
Speaker 2: over because I have a two betterman New York, She's like,

561
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:33,120
Speaker 2: there should be no male female friendship, Like the fuck

562
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:36,480
Speaker 2: that's way too close. Do you think a woman having

563
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:38,920
Speaker 2: close male friends is something you could deal with or

564
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:41,359
Speaker 2: something that's respectful to a long term relationship?

565
00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:45,040
Speaker 1: Hey, Ed, and you're on camera? Are you not on

566
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:47,200
Speaker 1: camera because you laughing? Oh? You ain't no camera, that's

567
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:47,720
Speaker 1: why you laughing.

568
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:50,600
Speaker 2: Okay, because we have a different male friendships and pretty

569
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:51,879
Speaker 2: much running our shit the same.

570
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:53,760
Speaker 1: I want to know what.

571
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:57,960
Speaker 5: You think it got to be, like, absolutely no chance

572
00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:00,679
Speaker 5: humanly possible that there's like some them to see or

573
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:02,600
Speaker 5: like thoughts about each other. They got to be one

574
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:03,240
Speaker 5: hundred percent.

575
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:05,400
Speaker 1: How do you ever know that? Though? And I see

576
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:07,919
Speaker 1: this is the conversation Eddon's pointed at me because my

577
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,160
Speaker 1: man is like, all them.

578
00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:12,080
Speaker 2: Niggas want to fuck you, I believe. I don't believe. No, man,

579
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:14,160
Speaker 2: it wouldn't take it. If you want to suck they dick,

580
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,000
Speaker 2: if you want to fuck them, it would they not

581
00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:16,400
Speaker 2: your brother.

582
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:19,919
Speaker 5: It's gonna take some interrogation, you know what I mean.

583
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:23,000
Speaker 1: It's gonna take terrogation. You would terrogate in the mail front.

584
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:25,600
Speaker 5: And terrogating everything, asking her what have y'all been through?

585
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:27,560
Speaker 5: What type of have y'all slept in the same bed,

586
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:29,480
Speaker 5: like certain things are like good c's and be like

587
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:31,960
Speaker 5: it's something going on right here, Like y'all sleeping in

588
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:32,960
Speaker 5: the same bed once before.

589
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:36,320
Speaker 3: That's a red flag for me sleeping in the same

590
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:39,520
Speaker 3: bed together. But if there was no sex, nigga, maybe

591
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:42,120
Speaker 3: we had to keep bed thigg's cuddled before some shit

592
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:44,639
Speaker 3: like is different than just laying in.

593
00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:46,159
Speaker 2: Alex and I had to share a bed and it

594
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:48,399
Speaker 2: was awful. We were in Soho house in Israel. They

595
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:51,040
Speaker 2: had no two beds, and he was like, I'm gonna

596
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:52,880
Speaker 2: get the pillow. Good bitch, ain't no what you want

597
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:54,919
Speaker 2: me to do. But I remember it being weird and

598
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:58,640
Speaker 2: I was single at the time, and I remember when

599
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:01,479
Speaker 2: he called his girl. I was like, I can't believe hit.

600
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:03,639
Speaker 2: This bitch knows I'm right here, Like, is he insane?

601
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:06,000
Speaker 2: And she's very secure because it wouldn't be me.

602
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:07,520
Speaker 1: I don't like that. You ain't about to sit up

603
00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:09,280
Speaker 1: in the motherfucking bed with your female best friend and

604
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:10,080
Speaker 1: you hi, nigga.

605
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:12,840
Speaker 4: What a contrast?

606
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:16,760
Speaker 1: No, I think there needs to be boundaries. Number one,

607
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:17,440
Speaker 1: Oh for sure.

608
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:20,000
Speaker 2: My partner told me when we first met, like, what

609
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:21,520
Speaker 2: the fuck are you going to dinner with niggas?

610
00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:24,400
Speaker 1: For what? I go to dinner? I was at that house.

611
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,719
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm so confused. I thought this was normal.

612
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:30,639
Speaker 2: Now I see now, I think what's happened now is

613
00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:33,320
Speaker 2: he's just like maybe because he has a relationship with

614
00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:36,280
Speaker 2: these men, but also I'm bouncing around different cities. I'm

615
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:39,320
Speaker 2: catching my homeboys wherever, Like we're talking about work whatever.

616
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:42,000
Speaker 1: I get it. But he's like, how the fuck would

617
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:43,080
Speaker 1: you feel about me taking a bit?

618
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:46,159
Speaker 3: My boyfriend facetimed me he went over his best friend's

619
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:48,320
Speaker 3: house and she was cooking. She was cooking a lot

620
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:50,679
Speaker 3: of food, and he went over and her homegirls was

621
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:51,880
Speaker 3: there and I'm.

622
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:53,480
Speaker 1: On face time. It was just He's good.

623
00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:57,680
Speaker 3: That's his best friend, right, I have I have male

624
00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 3: best friends, So I like to tell her be I used.

625
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:04,080
Speaker 2: To cook for Alex when we were both single. I'm

626
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:06,120
Speaker 2: gonna be honest. This is someone I own a business

627
00:28:06,119 --> 00:28:07,800
Speaker 2: with and I've been friends with a long time.

628
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:12,680
Speaker 1: I can understand if I was making a meal for Alex,

629
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:14,960
Speaker 1: how that would make my partner feel.

630
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:20,119
Speaker 2: Right now, yes, now, in his mind, Alex and I

631
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:21,879
Speaker 2: are always gonna talk about work when we're around each other.

632
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:24,480
Speaker 2: Now it's just turned into that. But I'm trying to think,

633
00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:24,880
Speaker 2: what if.

634
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:25,320
Speaker 1: It was Andre?

635
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:27,760
Speaker 4: Now I feel like hypocritical because I'm like, because I.

636
00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:30,359
Speaker 1: Do think it's kind of crap. Why are if Andre?

637
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:32,480
Speaker 2: Because and Andre is the close meal friend I have

638
00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 2: that I don't have networking or work relationships. Right, Andre

639
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:38,840
Speaker 2: comes over just for me to cook for him? Now,

640
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:41,600
Speaker 2: But y'all closed though, I know, and that's different. That's

641
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:42,520
Speaker 2: what I'm okay.

642
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:45,480
Speaker 4: See, this is the thing. If a stranger cooked, if

643
00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:47,680
Speaker 4: my girl cooked the cook cooked the meal for another dude,

644
00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:50,000
Speaker 4: I don't really know like that, I'm like, what the fuck?

645
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 4: If it is like one of her bestest friends, I'd

646
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:54,000
Speaker 4: be like, Okay, cool, it's not a big deal. Now,

647
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:57,680
Speaker 4: my girl. I could only imagine if someone cooked the

648
00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:00,760
Speaker 4: meal for me in either sense, I could see them.

649
00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:05,320
Speaker 1: But can you see your girl? You have an old man,

650
00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:06,360
Speaker 1: white man.

651
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:09,280
Speaker 3: Did and I was like, okay, mabe good, because you're

652
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:10,400
Speaker 3: cooking looks like dog.

653
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:12,000
Speaker 1: Food, So I hope you get that. Well, let me

654
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:12,280
Speaker 1: tell you.

655
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:14,960
Speaker 2: I think it's the thing, the only thing, and this

656
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:17,800
Speaker 2: is fucked up. I really believe this, and I'm lucky

657
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:20,160
Speaker 2: that in these two male relationships it's not the case.

658
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:23,080
Speaker 2: However it was the case in other ones. It's never

659
00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:27,360
Speaker 2: happened to me with al or Andre, but there's always

660
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:30,480
Speaker 2: one that if something was a little different, they would

661
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:30,800
Speaker 2: do it.

662
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:33,160
Speaker 4: So the question is, are you allowed to cook for

663
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 4: another person?

664
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 3: No?

665
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:37,200
Speaker 2: No, do y'all believe that in a male and female dynamic,

666
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:38,680
Speaker 2: there's always one who feels.

667
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:40,040
Speaker 3: Like I mean, I'm not gonna lie that me and

668
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 3: him just it's funny because where I don't exhibit jealousy

669
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:46,720
Speaker 3: at all, he kind of does. I was telling him

670
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:50,320
Speaker 3: a story about I'm not gonna say which person, but

671
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 3: someone in a sex club has made me squirt before, right,

672
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:58,520
Speaker 3: And I was just at a sex club in Atlanta

673
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:02,000
Speaker 3: and they were there and my homegirl.

674
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:04,840
Speaker 1: Got to experience the magical fingers.

675
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:07,800
Speaker 4: And so I'm feeling you can't say magical fings magical fingers,

676
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:11,120
Speaker 4: like if I was your man hearing this and I

677
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:13,360
Speaker 4: just heard my girl talk about magical fingers sperms.

678
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 3: Anyway, Anyway, what's crazy is so I'm telling him that,

679
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:22,280
Speaker 3: you know, I h and he was like, we're gonna

680
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:24,080
Speaker 3: put a pin in this because I feel away.

681
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:26,600
Speaker 1: What do you mean you were just in the room

682
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:28,440
Speaker 1: with someone who had fingered you.

683
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:31,760
Speaker 3: Before, And I was like, yeah, the op a tough,

684
00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:35,400
Speaker 3: and I said, and when he fingered me, nigga, it

685
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:40,040
Speaker 3: was with and with the permission of my ex boyfriend

686
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:40,960
Speaker 3: in a sex cluff.

687
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:44,560
Speaker 2: I'm your relationship today as it stands. Can you get

688
00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:46,120
Speaker 2: could you have gotten fingered by him?

689
00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:47,960
Speaker 3: Oh? I'm not gonna lie, And maybe y'all to hear

690
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:51,440
Speaker 3: more of it on Patreon. I literally went out the

691
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:54,800
Speaker 3: other night and literally text him sub drunk, babe, what's

692
00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:56,840
Speaker 3: our boundaries again? Because I want to eat pussy tonight

693
00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:01,720
Speaker 3: and I literally fucked someone the girl, and well, no, no, no,

694
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:05,280
Speaker 3: right now, it's just women. He's even said, Babe, if

695
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:08,240
Speaker 3: we have so much time apart, and you have the urge.

696
00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:10,480
Speaker 3: I would want you to share with me that urge

697
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:13,040
Speaker 3: to see a man, because I'll probably try to book

698
00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:15,840
Speaker 3: the next flight out. But if we're in a space

699
00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:17,960
Speaker 3: where like he's looking at a role right now, that

700
00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:21,320
Speaker 3: might take him to Europe for months, and she's like,

701
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,560
Speaker 3: I can't get to Europe because maybe we're on tour.

702
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:26,800
Speaker 1: I let him know.

703
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:30,360
Speaker 3: We'll have that conversation, but you could have sex, and baby,

704
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:32,680
Speaker 3: if I'm in the need, I'm gonna need some too.

705
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:34,760
Speaker 2: Do you think he has the same sexual appetite of

706
00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:36,160
Speaker 2: like wanting to fuck other people.

707
00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:40,800
Speaker 3: No, he's told me he doesn't. Okay, that's on him.

708
00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:45,480
Speaker 3: I like, I mean, I like women, which is why

709
00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:49,000
Speaker 3: like I did. I hit him up and was like, babe,

710
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:50,920
Speaker 3: I really want to like be with a woman tonight.

711
00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:52,120
Speaker 1: But right now he doesn't want you to sex with

712
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:56,120
Speaker 1: other men? No, no, no, no no. But I don't

713
00:31:56,160 --> 00:32:00,160
Speaker 1: need to. Like even the way he's like the flowers.

714
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:02,680
Speaker 3: Woman, I just want to say, well, no, he ain't

715
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 3: got a pussy, so I'm completely different. Like sex and

716
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:09,360
Speaker 3: intimacy with a woman is way different than a man,

717
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:12,920
Speaker 3: which is why I've said, we are non monogamous, and

718
00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:15,960
Speaker 3: an element of that is because when and if I

719
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:18,600
Speaker 3: have the desire to be with a woman, I don't

720
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:21,720
Speaker 3: want that cage the way. I just love that shit though, Yeah,

721
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:25,120
Speaker 3: I think the real part of it, No, they also

722
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:26,800
Speaker 3: love it when it's when they can be a part

723
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:27,080
Speaker 3: of it.

724
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:27,920
Speaker 1: Mind you.

725
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:33,520
Speaker 3: I also so he asked me about the like, so, baby,

726
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:36,040
Speaker 3: did you get pussy last night? I said yeah. He

727
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:38,080
Speaker 3: was like, ooh, tell me about her. I said, it

728
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:40,440
Speaker 3: was my friend and me and her just went and

729
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:43,880
Speaker 3: got food the other night. And so even him, he's.

730
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:46,400
Speaker 1: Like, oh, she was really touchy on you. But I'm like, nigga,

731
00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:47,760
Speaker 1: you know, we fuck. So that's my friend.

732
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:51,200
Speaker 3: He's having to get used to the fact that, well,

733
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:52,320
Speaker 3: I've fucked quite a.

734
00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:53,000
Speaker 1: Bit of my friends.

735
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:55,320
Speaker 3: Like he's about to meet one in La Babe, we've

736
00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:58,000
Speaker 3: had sex before, like, and so now he's like, I

737
00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:01,120
Speaker 3: want to know who you've had sex with before, even

738
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:02,240
Speaker 3: if I meet them, And I said.

739
00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:03,840
Speaker 1: Okay, oh, I think that's a good rule. Yeah, I

740
00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:04,560
Speaker 1: think that's fine. Girl.

741
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:06,320
Speaker 2: We just went out to some I'm a piano party

742
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:10,960
Speaker 2: of love little house and I'm like, it was so funny.

743
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:13,520
Speaker 2: I was like, damn, that girl looks so cute and familiar.

744
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:15,760
Speaker 2: I thought she was like an influencer. So he's looking

745
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:18,600
Speaker 2: invarits and I'm like, what's wrong?

746
00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:18,880
Speaker 1: Oh?

747
00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:20,280
Speaker 2: Is that the bitch you fucking the parking lot that

748
00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:22,800
Speaker 2: one time? And then a second later I'm like, oh,

749
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:24,120
Speaker 2: I went out with that n again. He's like, who

750
00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:24,840
Speaker 2: the fuck are we?

751
00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:25,040
Speaker 1: Bro?

752
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:28,560
Speaker 2: We just think that we can't go nowhere, And I

753
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:32,400
Speaker 2: love having that, but I will say I like knowing

754
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:34,520
Speaker 2: I don't want to be around no bitch.

755
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:36,440
Speaker 1: I'm saying what's up too? Because I'm a cool ass bitch.

756
00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:38,880
Speaker 2: Bro, you told me you was fucking a bitch last

757
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:40,800
Speaker 2: week when I was out of town. As long as

758
00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:44,280
Speaker 2: I know, I'm okay, I'm very very comfortable. The sneakiness

759
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:46,280
Speaker 2: is what I can't do knowing that I could be

760
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:49,280
Speaker 2: around somebody that you are keeping.

761
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:53,360
Speaker 1: You're holding this from so you I don't know, man,

762
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:53,760
Speaker 1: I just.

763
00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:57,160
Speaker 4: What's a good time to tell your said partner about this?

764
00:33:57,200 --> 00:33:58,160
Speaker 4: By the way, what do you mean.

765
00:33:58,480 --> 00:33:59,960
Speaker 1: If we're in a space, Let's just say we go

766
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:01,840
Speaker 1: out to a restaurant bar, tell them.

767
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:05,240
Speaker 4: Because I've had scenarios like this before, were you before too?

768
00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:07,640
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, okay, yeah, so I've had a partner, and

769
00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:10,120
Speaker 4: then she was around on the girl that yeah you

770
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:13,520
Speaker 4: don't let me comnicated with, and then so okay, so okay,

771
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:14,480
Speaker 4: so I got to do it there.

772
00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:18,239
Speaker 3: Yes, ah, oh you should have seen the way me

773
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:21,200
Speaker 3: and me and my boyfriend just been telling stories and

774
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:24,759
Speaker 3: I brought up somebody and he was like, ah, that's

775
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:26,240
Speaker 3: relationship with that person.

776
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:28,759
Speaker 1: So then he brings someone else up, and I.

777
00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:31,600
Speaker 3: Had to be like, you remember how you were weird

778
00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:33,120
Speaker 3: about me because they were celebrities.

779
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:35,600
Speaker 1: So I was like, ah, you want to know how

780
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:40,120
Speaker 1: it was weird? I brought up that girl, Oh I'm

781
00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:43,240
Speaker 1: adjacent to Oh yeah, that guy that you just mentioned.

782
00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:44,160
Speaker 1: We kind of fucked.

783
00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:45,680
Speaker 3: And it's so funny because he was like, I'm actually

784
00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:48,759
Speaker 3: kind of shocked. I mean we kind of fucked. I

785
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:50,759
Speaker 3: kind of kind of let him put it in. Yeah,

786
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:53,400
Speaker 3: we kind of it was only like a two time thing.

787
00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:55,319
Speaker 3: And here he goes because you know, he was like,

788
00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:56,360
Speaker 3: would you really.

789
00:34:58,280 --> 00:34:59,400
Speaker 2: He said, what would you want to know if you

790
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:01,080
Speaker 2: were in the same space or would you want to

791
00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:03,080
Speaker 2: know later space?

792
00:35:04,719 --> 00:35:06,000
Speaker 1: You're even one of his work events.

793
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:08,040
Speaker 2: Let's say there's a colleague he slept with, or a

794
00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:09,280
Speaker 2: woman that's in the field.

795
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:09,640
Speaker 1: Whatever.

796
00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:11,800
Speaker 2: Would you want to know if you guys are around

797
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:13,359
Speaker 2: her all night or would you want to know later?

798
00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:15,359
Speaker 2: Do you have a boundary with that that you know yet?

799
00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:18,120
Speaker 3: Let me know what changes anything?

800
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:20,680
Speaker 2: No, I'm saying, Mandy, but when would you feel weird

801
00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:22,719
Speaker 2: if he told you the next day, next week?

802
00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:23,879
Speaker 1: I was there three to three.

803
00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:26,200
Speaker 3: I mean, it depends if we are talking to each other.

804
00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:27,800
Speaker 3: If it's a woman who's just in the room that

805
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:32,840
Speaker 3: I don't have a connect, she comes up and you know,

806
00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:35,040
Speaker 3: I'm introduced to her at that moment.

807
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:37,600
Speaker 1: When she leaves us, maybe tell me because now I've been.

808
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:40,239
Speaker 2: So you want to know in the place, if we've interacted. Yeah,

809
00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:40,759
Speaker 2: that's the point.

810
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:43,879
Speaker 1: If she's just in the room. So Macie, you point

811
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:47,520
Speaker 1: out everybody that you've fucked in the room. If I like,

812
00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:48,600
Speaker 1: I might not have even.

813
00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:50,719
Speaker 2: Seen there shouldn't be that many people in the room.

814
00:35:50,719 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 2: But I will say I've never seen him ignore someone

815
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:56,360
Speaker 2: he slept with. Generally speaking, he'll tell me, oh that

816
00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:58,120
Speaker 2: girl over there, and he'll always say.

817
00:35:57,960 --> 00:35:59,960
Speaker 3: Hello, Oh, I ain't gonna hold you the whole nigg

818
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:02,400
Speaker 3: is Hey, if you see me with a nigga. Do

819
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:05,279
Speaker 3: not come up and speak to me. Do not disrespect

820
00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:07,640
Speaker 3: We are not together. If I am with another nigga,

821
00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:10,440
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna lie. I think it's petty and stiff, disrespectful.

822
00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:13,840
Speaker 3: What if we fucked before and I'm outside with another nigga,

823
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:18,759
Speaker 3: do not text me, d M me or I meant me,

824
00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:19,640
Speaker 3: say you saw me in the room.

825
00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:21,879
Speaker 1: Okay, that's kind of why the fun out of here?

826
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:22,319
Speaker 1: That's weird.

827
00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:26,239
Speaker 4: It's weird, like the dude texting her you know.

828
00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:28,560
Speaker 1: I saw you, but I've seen you was happening and

829
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:31,640
Speaker 1: say hello. No, no, no, even I was in Nobo. I

830
00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:33,680
Speaker 1: was a nobu before I got with my boyfriend.

831
00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:37,000
Speaker 2: Nope, you're saying, don't say hello, Hello, I don't know

832
00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:37,640
Speaker 2: say hello.

833
00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:40,359
Speaker 4: Fuck No, why why you want to know?

834
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:43,120
Speaker 3: If you're across the room and you see me on

835
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:45,440
Speaker 3: a dat or with somebody and all we did was fun.

836
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:47,759
Speaker 1: Let's be very clear, y'all know a bitch only got walk.

837
00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:52,840
Speaker 3: I fucked and you see me out with another nigga,

838
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:54,439
Speaker 3: do not make yourself be known.

839
00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:57,000
Speaker 1: Do not come and say hi. Keep your ass across

840
00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:59,960
Speaker 1: the room. I mean, if I do here, you got

841
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:02,360
Speaker 1: me fucked up. There's no reason if all we did.

842
00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:05,279
Speaker 3: Was fuck, which again, y'all know I got one x

843
00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:09,640
Speaker 3: everybody else situationships buck boys do not come and speak

844
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:12,759
Speaker 3: to me another say nothing. So no, if I see

845
00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:15,439
Speaker 3: a man from across the room that I slept with

846
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:19,319
Speaker 3: who is clearly out with another woman, I'm making my

847
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:20,600
Speaker 3: way to go over there to say hi.

848
00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:23,080
Speaker 1: I mean, I say hi.

849
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:27,080
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna I'm saying, don't getting proximity like at

850
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:28,520
Speaker 2: the bar, or I'm not gonna.

851
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:30,200
Speaker 1: Not like it.

852
00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:32,920
Speaker 3: But no, no, no, That's why I just think that I

853
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:36,600
Speaker 3: distinctively said, if we are across the room, there's no

854
00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:38,239
Speaker 3: reason for you to make your way to come say hi.

855
00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:39,920
Speaker 1: So I guess I wouldn't do this. I have a

856
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:43,560
Speaker 1: thing of I'm pretty okay with coexisting when people are fucked.

857
00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:45,280
Speaker 1: Oh me too, we can coexist.

858
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:48,279
Speaker 3: If I am there with another man, do not come

859
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:49,920
Speaker 3: in and introduce yourself.

860
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:54,120
Speaker 4: So you guys are two completely different personalities. Clearly, what

861
00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:56,200
Speaker 4: would be the how do I say it to you?

862
00:37:56,600 --> 00:37:58,640
Speaker 4: Right and we're in I'm in the vicinity of a

863
00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:01,520
Speaker 4: woman that I've pornicated with, and I'm with you right now.

864
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:03,960
Speaker 1: I fucked her.

865
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:06,799
Speaker 4: That sounds a little too easy, and I don't want

866
00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:07,600
Speaker 4: to fall into that job.

867
00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:09,080
Speaker 1: I don't well to me.

868
00:38:09,239 --> 00:38:11,680
Speaker 3: To me, it depends your expectations if you've already had

869
00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:12,880
Speaker 3: the previous conversation.

870
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:14,400
Speaker 1: Literally bring up babe.

871
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:16,239
Speaker 3: You know you remember how we said if we were

872
00:38:16,239 --> 00:38:18,040
Speaker 3: in a space, you would want to know if I

873
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:20,239
Speaker 3: had sex with anyone in the room. Well, the girl

874
00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:22,080
Speaker 3: over there, it was years ago. You don't have to

875
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:22,520
Speaker 3: worry about it.

876
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:24,239
Speaker 1: We don't even talk to me. I just want to

877
00:38:24,239 --> 00:38:26,200
Speaker 1: tell you. But I mean, even if it was, well,

878
00:38:26,239 --> 00:38:27,719
Speaker 1: it wouldn't have been last week. This is you're in

879
00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:28,440
Speaker 1: a relationship.

880
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:32,600
Speaker 3: You've discussed these boundaries right then it becomes that. But again,

881
00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:36,560
Speaker 3: you've had the conversation, so you preface it with the

882
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:37,319
Speaker 3: same way I did.

883
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:40,560
Speaker 1: Babe, what was our boundary again? About women? You want

884
00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:41,600
Speaker 1: to know before or after?

885
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:43,640
Speaker 3: That's literally what I text them while I was out

886
00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:46,200
Speaker 3: and he was like, Babe, you about to And I said, yeah,

887
00:38:46,239 --> 00:38:47,520
Speaker 3: I really want some tonight.

888
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:49,120
Speaker 1: And I told him about it the next day.

889
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:50,560
Speaker 4: This is my son in high school ish. But now,

890
00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:52,560
Speaker 4: if what if you didn't fuck her, what if you

891
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:54,400
Speaker 4: made out with her before.

892
00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:56,120
Speaker 1: Made out date? You could say we dated. I mean

893
00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:58,960
Speaker 1: that's a loose term. Now, I still had those warnings.

894
00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:00,759
Speaker 2: There was a DJ that I really wanted to go

895
00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:03,680
Speaker 2: see and he was like just letting you know, my

896
00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:05,360
Speaker 2: a finger popping and some shit and all that.

897
00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:07,799
Speaker 1: So then I'm not buying tickets. You get them.

898
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:10,640
Speaker 4: Oh that's great, A bitches fire.

899
00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:17,680
Speaker 1: I don't give a fuck. We still go.

900
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:23,040
Speaker 2: I don't know, I feel it's like this, right, I'm

901
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:26,200
Speaker 2: speaking from a slight place of privilege in this moment

902
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:30,160
Speaker 2: because of the status of my relationship. However, I've definitely

903
00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:32,680
Speaker 2: been in scenarios where I wasn't in a committed relationship.

904
00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:35,920
Speaker 2: I was just dating and I felt like not as secure.

905
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:40,320
Speaker 2: When someone makes you feel secure, it's easy to feel easy,

906
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:43,719
Speaker 2: breezy about other women. Men make women feel invalidated a

907
00:39:43,719 --> 00:39:46,200
Speaker 2: lot of the time about their place in their life

908
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:48,600
Speaker 2: or whatever, or just feeling like their eyes are on

909
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:51,439
Speaker 2: other women, whatever the case may be. So it does

910
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:54,360
Speaker 2: take a lot of confidence to get there. So I

911
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:57,560
Speaker 2: don't know if everyone can feel that in this particular moment.

912
00:39:57,600 --> 00:40:00,279
Speaker 2: Who's listening if it happens, But what I I would

913
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:03,240
Speaker 2: say definitely talking about respect and how you'll be treated

914
00:40:03,239 --> 00:40:05,799
Speaker 2: in those spaces that's happened to me a lot. I've

915
00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:07,640
Speaker 2: always thought to myself, Oh my god, what if we're

916
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:09,600
Speaker 2: at a show and this Nikka fucked one of the

917
00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:12,600
Speaker 2: people in the audience, right, How would that make me feel?

918
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:14,000
Speaker 1: What do we do? How do we carry it on?

919
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:17,759
Speaker 2: Especially being that he's fucked women I'm fans of, that's

920
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:20,120
Speaker 2: kind of weird. But also at the same time, it's

921
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:22,080
Speaker 2: not you guys are hot people. Of course you fucked

922
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:25,200
Speaker 2: some model bitches out here, duh. So I think it's

923
00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:27,960
Speaker 2: really just like, how will we conduct ourselves in these spaces?

924
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:28,640
Speaker 1: What will we do?

925
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:32,640
Speaker 3: It's also not the conducting in space. I think what

926
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:39,960
Speaker 3: I'm realizing with my partner now is the unhealthy level

927
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:44,040
Speaker 3: of toxicity that exists in relationships, in terms of, oh,

928
00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:47,480
Speaker 3: you only think I care if I showcase jealousy. You

929
00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:50,200
Speaker 3: only think I care if I'm arguing with you about this,

930
00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:54,160
Speaker 3: and that, like the fact that he's like, baby, you

931
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:56,640
Speaker 3: don't get mad at me when I'm doing things that

932
00:40:57,040 --> 00:40:59,280
Speaker 3: other women have got mad about, and I'm like, babe,

933
00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:03,279
Speaker 3: you have to realize like that those were women who

934
00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:07,160
Speaker 3: led with their insecurity or brought their traumas into a

935
00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:11,600
Speaker 3: relationship that just because I'm not getting upset doesn't mean

936
00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:13,560
Speaker 3: I care less for you.

937
00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:15,799
Speaker 1: That's not true. If a woman is upset about him

938
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:18,200
Speaker 1: eating at his best friend's house, that doesn't mean she's insecure.

939
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:20,400
Speaker 3: Well to me, if it's if it's a woman, it

940
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:24,040
Speaker 3: could be a trauma because maybe an ex fucked their

941
00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:25,560
Speaker 3: last you know, his last one.

942
00:41:25,680 --> 00:41:27,920
Speaker 1: But you can have a boundary without being insecure.

943
00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:32,200
Speaker 3: To me, though, the element of platonic friendships being a

944
00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:35,480
Speaker 3: quote unquote boundary for people, I do think that that

945
00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:38,280
Speaker 3: is a toxic insecure trick.

946
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:42,480
Speaker 2: People should people are allowed to have. We are so

947
00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:46,399
Speaker 2: far on the non ethical, non monogamy scale. I think

948
00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:51,120
Speaker 2: we forget normal, possible regular boundaries for some, but I

949
00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:55,520
Speaker 2: think a lot of but normally, no, they don't. People

950
00:41:55,560 --> 00:42:00,000
Speaker 2: can have boundaries and they're not labeled as insecure. For example,

951
00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:03,080
Speaker 2: you know your person has a platonic friend cool. Maybe

952
00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:05,359
Speaker 2: the boundaries being in the home. Maybe you just don't

953
00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:08,560
Speaker 2: want your man going to that woman's home and her

954
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:11,680
Speaker 2: coming into his. That's totally fine as a boundary. I

955
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:12,359
Speaker 2: don't have that one.

956
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:13,000
Speaker 1: It needed to you.

957
00:42:13,480 --> 00:42:16,040
Speaker 2: But that doesn't make someone insecure because they have that boundary.

958
00:42:16,239 --> 00:42:18,680
Speaker 2: The levels of respect that people have for each other

959
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:22,279
Speaker 2: or want for themselves doesn't make them insecure. Because I

960
00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:24,800
Speaker 2: want my man and I to talk openly about sex

961
00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:28,120
Speaker 2: or right now we're monogamish, that doesn't make me insecure.

962
00:42:28,239 --> 00:42:29,960
Speaker 1: I think insecure is one of the.

963
00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:33,560
Speaker 3: Words that have such a negative connotation, that there's insecurities

964
00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:36,720
Speaker 3: we all hold. If the insecurity is because this person

965
00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:40,000
Speaker 3: is of the opposite sex, where is that semming from

966
00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:42,600
Speaker 3: that you have no problem with him going over his

967
00:42:42,600 --> 00:42:43,200
Speaker 3: boy's house.

968
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:44,480
Speaker 1: I think when I bring up.

969
00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:47,719
Speaker 3: The insecurity, it is the lack of trust and the

970
00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:52,120
Speaker 3: inability to view one Let me finish, because if the

971
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:55,560
Speaker 3: only difference is this person can't do this with a

972
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:57,720
Speaker 3: female friend but he could do it with a male friend,

973
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:01,359
Speaker 3: there's an insecurity or of trust. I'll use that since

974
00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:04,239
Speaker 3: there's such a such a stigma around the word insecure.

975
00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:08,720
Speaker 3: But I think that when we act as though people

976
00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:12,719
Speaker 3: of opposite genders can't hold these platonic relationships, or you

977
00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:14,879
Speaker 3: don't trust your partner to not slide.

978
00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:16,240
Speaker 1: Or the woman's slide.

979
00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:18,200
Speaker 3: If they can do something with their male friends that

980
00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:21,160
Speaker 3: they're not allowed to do with their female friends, I say,

981
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:24,120
Speaker 3: and this is my opinion alone, again, everyone has one,

982
00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:25,240
Speaker 3: an opinion and an asshole.

983
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:27,319
Speaker 1: You could disagree with me here, but I'm not wrong.

984
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:28,000
Speaker 1: You're not wrong.

985
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:30,960
Speaker 3: I believe and I perceive it to be an insecurity

986
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:34,560
Speaker 3: if the boundaries are only associated to friends of the

987
00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:35,359
Speaker 3: opposite So.

988
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:37,719
Speaker 2: Then since you consider it a lack of trust, can

989
00:43:37,719 --> 00:43:40,920
Speaker 2: he sleep over? Then can he go on vacation with her?

990
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:41,319
Speaker 1: No? No?

991
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:44,799
Speaker 2: No, Because to your point, if going in the home

992
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:48,840
Speaker 2: is the insecurity boundary, then where do you draw a line?

993
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:51,200
Speaker 2: Because if you have none, then you have none. But

994
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:55,800
Speaker 2: I actually think that's really unfair to say, because yes,

995
00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:58,640
Speaker 2: there needs to be boundaries. I agree with boundaries in

996
00:43:58,640 --> 00:44:00,960
Speaker 2: a relationship. I agree with that, So I'm not just

997
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:03,560
Speaker 2: agreeing with that. Or how come a boundary for what

998
00:44:03,640 --> 00:44:06,759
Speaker 2: I want within a platonic friendship is lacked? Is me

999
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:10,120
Speaker 2: lacking trust in you? Or being insecure? That's a boundary.

1000
00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:12,400
Speaker 2: A boundary is not an insecurity.

1001
00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:12,440
Speaker 1: No, there's not.

1002
00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:16,680
Speaker 3: But again, when you're in a romantic relationship, you also

1003
00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:22,680
Speaker 3: and everything is customizable, so boundaries don't necessarily aren't necessarily

1004
00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:25,000
Speaker 3: an umbrella over a friendship or relationship.

1005
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:26,759
Speaker 1: Should your line be what is he not allowed to

1006
00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:27,839
Speaker 1: do with his platonic friend.

1007
00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:32,520
Speaker 3: Oh, go on an international trip with just him.

1008
00:44:32,719 --> 00:44:35,480
Speaker 1: Andre and we're friends. So did you do that? Did

1009
00:44:35,560 --> 00:44:36,840
Speaker 1: you do that while you were in a relationship. I

1010
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:38,520
Speaker 1: went to South Africa with him and his own boy.

1011
00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:42,799
Speaker 3: So that's a group setting. We literally just had a

1012
00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:45,000
Speaker 3: group setting. To me, is fine if someone else will

1013
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:47,520
Speaker 3: be there. We literally just had this conversation. He's like, Babe,

1014
00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:50,160
Speaker 3: if if my best friend I won't say her name,

1015
00:44:50,800 --> 00:44:53,520
Speaker 3: wanted me to join her and Antiga because you're going

1016
00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:55,920
Speaker 3: to Dreamville, could I do it?

1017
00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:57,439
Speaker 1: I said, Well, who else is going to be there?

1018
00:44:57,520 --> 00:44:59,080
Speaker 3: I said, if it's a group thing, if it's a

1019
00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:01,480
Speaker 3: birthday trip, if for if her friends are going to

1020
00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:02,440
Speaker 3: be there, go.

1021
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:03,960
Speaker 1: So they can go to Miami, but they can't go

1022
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:06,279
Speaker 1: to Antigue Like no, it's literally an international trick, but

1023
00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:07,680
Speaker 1: that's what I'm saying. So they can go to Miami together.

1024
00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:09,799
Speaker 3: It's like we're all walking the carpet together with him,

1025
00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:12,040
Speaker 3: and like a boundary would be like, no, she can't

1026
00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:13,800
Speaker 3: walk the carpet with you because I'm.

1027
00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:16,279
Speaker 1: There, and I don't why actually that we're going to

1028
00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:16,880
Speaker 1: be there together.

1029
00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:18,840
Speaker 2: I think you haven't been put into place yet to

1030
00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:23,160
Speaker 2: feel uncomfortable, but you are really expressing boundaries like no,

1031
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:26,640
Speaker 2: but I think it's sizable but right, But what you're

1032
00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:30,800
Speaker 2: saying could be an insecurity. Then to your point, your insecurity,

1033
00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:33,200
Speaker 2: you have a lack of trust international, No, it's just

1034
00:45:33,239 --> 00:45:35,720
Speaker 2: something you don't like because you can feel disrespected, whereas

1035
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:38,160
Speaker 2: other people can feel that alone in.

1036
00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:38,960
Speaker 1: A home with someone.

1037
00:45:39,360 --> 00:45:41,919
Speaker 2: The way that you can feel respected in your relationship

1038
00:45:42,280 --> 00:45:45,560
Speaker 2: doesn't necessarily mean it's an insecurity.

1039
00:45:45,560 --> 00:45:47,719
Speaker 1: And you're saying that there's a buzzword on the insecurity.

1040
00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:50,800
Speaker 3: But if there's also a buzzword on lack of trust, again,

1041
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 3: that's not good.

1042
00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:54,240
Speaker 1: But both things can exist both.

1043
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 3: Like I'm fine with saying, as a human being we

1044
00:45:57,239 --> 00:46:00,359
Speaker 3: have insecurities, I'm fine with as a human being saying

1045
00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:03,399
Speaker 3: when we're in relationships there may be elements of lack

1046
00:46:03,440 --> 00:46:06,680
Speaker 3: of trust because in different scenarios you may be tested differently.

1047
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:08,839
Speaker 3: I don't have a problem with her cooking for you.

1048
00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:12,160
Speaker 3: Do I want y'all to be five days getting drunk

1049
00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:13,800
Speaker 3: together on an island together?

1050
00:46:13,960 --> 00:46:15,960
Speaker 1: No, And I as a human being can.

1051
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:19,600
Speaker 3: Express and admit that maybe that comes from my mind

1052
00:46:19,960 --> 00:46:23,400
Speaker 3: working and feeling like this whole trip may not be innocent,

1053
00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:26,840
Speaker 3: So no, that would be a boundary of an insecurity

1054
00:46:27,080 --> 00:46:28,040
Speaker 3: always got.

1055
00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:29,320
Speaker 1: A meal to make it a trip to go on?

1056
00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:33,040
Speaker 2: Hell no, now, Wolf, I'm a gonna throw it to you.

1057
00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:38,480
Speaker 2: What do you think would be a boundary or something

1058
00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:42,719
Speaker 2: you may have within platonic friendships? Just to hear from

1059
00:46:42,719 --> 00:46:45,640
Speaker 2: a man's perspective, because again, Mandy and I are I

1060
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:49,520
Speaker 2: feel like really loose with our boundaries, nigga.

1061
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:55,600
Speaker 5: Lunch a boundary that I would have for platonic friends

1062
00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:55,840
Speaker 5: in the.

1063
00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:59,160
Speaker 2: Relationship, your girl has a guy best friend, what are

1064
00:46:59,160 --> 00:46:59,920
Speaker 2: they allowed to do or not?

1065
00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:01,799
Speaker 1: He's got tickets to again?

1066
00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:03,200
Speaker 4: Okay, I got one for you.

1067
00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:06,319
Speaker 5: I got one for you right now. If y'all hanging out,

1068
00:47:06,560 --> 00:47:08,640
Speaker 5: I would feel most comfortable if you let me know

1069
00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:13,360
Speaker 5: before I would feel you know, I don't want to

1070
00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:15,520
Speaker 5: put too much yellow tape around this one, but like

1071
00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:17,760
Speaker 5: I don't want to hear like oh me and Joseph

1072
00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:19,120
Speaker 5: when it had drinks, you know what I mean? Like,

1073
00:47:19,120 --> 00:47:20,920
Speaker 5: I would prefer you let me know. I just feel

1074
00:47:20,960 --> 00:47:23,279
Speaker 5: more for incluted, you know what I mean? Something like that.

1075
00:47:23,280 --> 00:47:25,439
Speaker 5: But I've dealt with that in a relationship. I've dealt

1076
00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:27,960
Speaker 5: with that in a relationship before where the nigga came

1077
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:29,560
Speaker 5: and told me like, hey, yo, like we're gonna all

1078
00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:31,319
Speaker 5: get drinks later today And I was like, what you're

1079
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:34,200
Speaker 5: talking about? What you're talking about? And I felt dumb,

1080
00:47:34,280 --> 00:47:35,239
Speaker 5: you know what I mean? And I didn't have a

1081
00:47:35,239 --> 00:47:37,680
Speaker 5: problem with him, but it was just like in the

1082
00:47:37,719 --> 00:47:39,840
Speaker 5: way I like to run my relationships, like come and

1083
00:47:39,840 --> 00:47:41,640
Speaker 5: make sure I'm comfortable with that first, because I would

1084
00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:42,880
Speaker 5: absolutely do the same thing to you.

1085
00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:46,959
Speaker 3: What's crazy about that is though it's the simple thing

1086
00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:50,640
Speaker 3: of I mean, communication is key. We've been saying that

1087
00:47:50,680 --> 00:47:53,640
Speaker 3: since probably the beginning of time on this podcast, but

1088
00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:59,880
Speaker 3: people have in telling sometimes their partner what they're gonna do,

1089
00:48:00,239 --> 00:48:02,719
Speaker 3: a lot of times we perceive that it's gonna be

1090
00:48:02,719 --> 00:48:04,839
Speaker 3: an argument before we even do it, so we don't

1091
00:48:04,840 --> 00:48:07,480
Speaker 3: feel the need to communicate it because we don't want

1092
00:48:07,480 --> 00:48:11,240
Speaker 3: the argument or we don't want the conflict, when in reality,

1093
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:13,719
Speaker 3: so much can be resolved if you just communicate that

1094
00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:15,799
Speaker 3: this is what you're about to do. I also think

1095
00:48:15,880 --> 00:48:18,600
Speaker 3: like a lot of people don't. Yeah, they're not leaving

1096
00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:20,120
Speaker 3: the space for you to communicate that.

1097
00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:20,560
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1098
00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:24,279
Speaker 2: I remember the first time my partner told me about

1099
00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:27,319
Speaker 2: sex with someone else, So I was. I told him

1100
00:48:27,320 --> 00:48:30,360
Speaker 2: I want to know before, and it was a I

1101
00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:33,280
Speaker 2: think I was away and he sent me a message

1102
00:48:33,280 --> 00:48:33,640
Speaker 2: about it.

1103
00:48:33,760 --> 00:48:35,279
Speaker 1: I said, okay, baby, I'll talk to you later.

1104
00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:38,160
Speaker 2: And he called me later that night and we started

1105
00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:41,080
Speaker 2: talking normal and he's like, okay, no, and you're gonna

1106
00:48:41,080 --> 00:48:43,080
Speaker 2: ask me like when are we.

1107
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:44,800
Speaker 1: Gonna do this? Like it was it was weird.

1108
00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:48,080
Speaker 2: It was it was like kind of uncomfortable because it's

1109
00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:50,200
Speaker 2: such a new thing, like how do you learn each

1110
00:48:50,200 --> 00:48:50,840
Speaker 2: other's boundaries?

1111
00:48:50,880 --> 00:48:52,560
Speaker 1: How do you learn what to do? How do you

1112
00:48:52,640 --> 00:48:55,440
Speaker 1: learn how to tell someone you're gonna fuck someone else? Like?

1113
00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:58,719
Speaker 2: And I honestly think the uncomfortability for him was probably

1114
00:48:58,760 --> 00:49:01,320
Speaker 2: why you an't really do it again, because it's just like, damn,

1115
00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:05,040
Speaker 2: this is something that maybe I don't enjoy, Like maybe

1116
00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:08,239
Speaker 2: I can't really handle how this feels. Maybe it does

1117
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:10,239
Speaker 2: feel like a cheat because that is one of my rules.

1118
00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:12,279
Speaker 2: I want to know before, just like a platonic friend

1119
00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:18,120
Speaker 2: hangout right. I think being the open space for wanting

1120
00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:20,440
Speaker 2: to be told about news is what all of us

1121
00:49:20,520 --> 00:49:22,719
Speaker 2: need to do. Ladies, if you have a friend, if

1122
00:49:22,719 --> 00:49:24,200
Speaker 2: you have a guy who wants to hang with his

1123
00:49:24,200 --> 00:49:26,960
Speaker 2: homegirl but ends up telling you later. I totally agreeab Wolf,

1124
00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:30,440
Speaker 2: I agree, let me know before. Like, but then when

1125
00:49:30,440 --> 00:49:32,200
Speaker 2: he tells you, you're like, oh, you're gonna bee an

1126
00:49:32,200 --> 00:49:32,760
Speaker 2: average again.

1127
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:33,480
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm me.

1128
00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:36,400
Speaker 3: It's not even I don't normally tell him everything before,

1129
00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:41,120
Speaker 3: but if he calls me, I'd pick up like, hey, babe,

1130
00:49:41,120 --> 00:49:43,040
Speaker 3: this is who I'm with, and I introduce and I'd

1131
00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:46,240
Speaker 3: be like, this is my boyfriend, like like, my boyfriend

1132
00:49:46,239 --> 00:49:48,560
Speaker 3: has met almost everyone on FaceTime.

1133
00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:49,560
Speaker 1: Gets so annoyed with that.

1134
00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:51,200
Speaker 2: I know he would be like, bitch, on the fuck

1135
00:49:51,239 --> 00:49:52,879
Speaker 2: I didn't get on a god to be a phone

1136
00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:55,960
Speaker 2: I called you. It's so crazy because it's different strokes.

1137
00:49:56,000 --> 00:49:58,839
Speaker 2: I could see if I'm sitting with a dude and

1138
00:49:58,880 --> 00:50:01,200
Speaker 2: I answer my call, Hey, this is my friend Mark,

1139
00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:03,239
Speaker 2: he works at Netflix. We just gotta drink together, he'd

1140
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:05,120
Speaker 2: be like, okay, bitch, I'm calling you.

1141
00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:06,240
Speaker 1: Get back on this phone.

1142
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:08,520
Speaker 2: Like I wouldn't like him to do me to know

1143
00:50:08,600 --> 00:50:11,239
Speaker 2: bitch either. That wouldn't make me feel good. I mean,

1144
00:50:11,280 --> 00:50:13,440
Speaker 2: but to me, it takes the guard down of it

1145
00:50:13,520 --> 00:50:15,480
Speaker 2: being something. I mean, you just said you have to

1146
00:50:15,520 --> 00:50:17,799
Speaker 2: tell him when you're with a platonic friend.

1147
00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:19,880
Speaker 1: I'm saying that I didn't say I have to. Oh,

1148
00:50:19,920 --> 00:50:20,680
Speaker 1: I said I would like that.

1149
00:50:20,840 --> 00:50:23,840
Speaker 3: Oh well, while I'm out, I'm not telling anybody my

1150
00:50:23,960 --> 00:50:26,319
Speaker 3: everyday move because sometimes shit is last minute and I'm

1151
00:50:26,320 --> 00:50:28,440
Speaker 3: not asking for permission and I'm not. So if I'm

1152
00:50:28,480 --> 00:50:31,319
Speaker 3: out and you call me, hey, babe, I'm out. This

1153
00:50:31,400 --> 00:50:33,160
Speaker 3: is my friend right now, this is so, and so

1154
00:50:33,520 --> 00:50:36,239
Speaker 3: I'll call you when I get home. Muh like to me,

1155
00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:40,160
Speaker 3: I would appreciate that, even from him, because now, okay,

1156
00:50:40,280 --> 00:50:41,160
Speaker 3: there's nothing to hide.

1157
00:50:41,160 --> 00:50:42,680
Speaker 1: You know exactly what I'm doing. I'll hit you when

1158
00:50:42,719 --> 00:50:44,680
Speaker 1: I leave them. Host don't want to suck that dick.

1159
00:50:44,920 --> 00:50:46,439
Speaker 1: Let me tell you something. I don't give a fuck.

1160
00:50:46,560 --> 00:50:48,040
Speaker 1: That hole can sit here and be like, oh man,

1161
00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:49,640
Speaker 1: when you come tow La, I'll.

1162
00:50:49,480 --> 00:50:52,239
Speaker 2: Make you fucking curry chicken too, bitch, put it up

1163
00:50:52,280 --> 00:50:52,840
Speaker 2: your asshole.

1164
00:50:53,040 --> 00:50:55,479
Speaker 1: I don't give a fuck. Them hoes be sneaking. They'd

1165
00:50:55,480 --> 00:50:58,319
Speaker 1: be lying. Any niggas be lying, and that is why

1166
00:50:58,360 --> 00:51:00,840
Speaker 1: you need to buy no host bar. We were gonna

1167
00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:01,920
Speaker 1: tell you all what what.

1168
00:51:01,960 --> 00:51:04,680
Speaker 2: To do and where we learn from our mistakes. I

1169
00:51:04,719 --> 00:51:07,400
Speaker 2: hope you guys really enjoyed this episode. I kind of

1170
00:51:07,440 --> 00:51:11,400
Speaker 2: loved talking about this because even though we have so

1171
00:51:11,520 --> 00:51:13,600
Speaker 2: much of the same, like because I'm the same way right,

1172
00:51:13,640 --> 00:51:15,080
Speaker 2: go out with your homegrown and give a fuck nigga.

1173
00:51:15,719 --> 00:51:19,680
Speaker 2: We have so much of the same ethical nominogamy ideals,

1174
00:51:19,960 --> 00:51:22,680
Speaker 2: but very different structures and rules around what makes us

1175
00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:26,240
Speaker 2: feel safe and comfortable in a relationship. Absolutely, it's so interchangeable,

1176
00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:29,080
Speaker 2: like I don't know, I just I've told you recently

1177
00:51:29,080 --> 00:51:30,440
Speaker 2: and I've said it a few times in horrible I

1178
00:51:30,480 --> 00:51:33,520
Speaker 2: hate the recent E and M talk because I really

1179
00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:36,000
Speaker 2: don't think people know what they're doing. I don't think

1180
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:38,839
Speaker 2: they know how to express what they want, how they

1181
00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:41,360
Speaker 2: feel comfortable. I think that everybody's just kind of seeing

1182
00:51:41,360 --> 00:51:41,800
Speaker 2: what fits.

1183
00:51:41,800 --> 00:51:44,760
Speaker 3: And I mean, I'm also with someone who has never

1184
00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:48,879
Speaker 3: even thought to be in it. He's he's very monogamous,

1185
00:51:49,239 --> 00:51:52,880
Speaker 3: and he's open to figuring out how my mind works

1186
00:51:52,920 --> 00:51:56,239
Speaker 3: and how to feel safer in expressing things that in

1187
00:51:56,320 --> 00:52:00,319
Speaker 3: previous relationships he didn't have the autonomy too. And I

1188
00:52:00,360 --> 00:52:04,440
Speaker 3: love it for us, like I'm excited about us exploring

1189
00:52:04,440 --> 00:52:07,160
Speaker 3: these things together, explore. But again, I think it's also

1190
00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:14,080
Speaker 3: very again customizable. He's probably not someone that will feel

1191
00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:16,600
Speaker 3: as comfortable in a sex club as my previous partner.

1192
00:52:16,600 --> 00:52:19,080
Speaker 3: And it's fine because I've also been to three sex

1193
00:52:19,120 --> 00:52:22,400
Speaker 3: clubs since we've been together, and I've got to express

1194
00:52:22,440 --> 00:52:24,399
Speaker 3: and tell him all the things and he's like, yeah,

1195
00:52:24,400 --> 00:52:24,919
Speaker 3: I don't know if.

1196
00:52:24,800 --> 00:52:26,960
Speaker 1: I would like that, but I like it's very he

1197
00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:29,759
Speaker 1: would enjoy it. Seems like he loves he would hate it. No, no, no.

1198
00:52:30,400 --> 00:52:32,360
Speaker 2: I think when you care about someone very much, you

1199
00:52:32,480 --> 00:52:34,960
Speaker 2: enjoy watching them have a great time. And I think

1200
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:36,959
Speaker 2: that when he sees how comfortable you can.

1201
00:52:36,880 --> 00:52:39,480
Speaker 3: Be, it reminds me of the conversation with King Noir

1202
00:52:40,120 --> 00:52:42,640
Speaker 3: he said he hated pretty Ricky. If you got a

1203
00:52:42,719 --> 00:52:44,800
Speaker 3: friend that you want to go enjoy pretty Ricky with,

1204
00:52:45,239 --> 00:52:47,520
Speaker 3: go enjoy it. And I'm not gonna try to say, bitch,

1205
00:52:47,600 --> 00:52:50,800
Speaker 3: I am pretty Ricky. I wouldn't even want to bring

1206
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:52,799
Speaker 3: my man into a space where he could ruin it

1207
00:52:52,840 --> 00:52:55,839
Speaker 3: for me, because I know how even I describe it,

1208
00:52:56,160 --> 00:52:57,600
Speaker 3: he seems so uninterested.

1209
00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:00,920
Speaker 1: I you don't have to come. This is something that

1210
00:53:00,960 --> 00:53:04,799
Speaker 1: I am tour. Probably not, Why would they not? You're

1211
00:53:04,840 --> 00:53:06,520
Speaker 1: not gonna bring him on? And I don't know, probably

1212
00:53:06,520 --> 00:53:06,840
Speaker 1: doubt it.

1213
00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:10,560
Speaker 3: You could go bring that baby dad. I'm surprised because

1214
00:53:10,600 --> 00:53:13,000
Speaker 3: he came to Denver, YEP. And you didn't meet him

1215
00:53:13,040 --> 00:53:16,759
Speaker 3: there where it's to meet your boyfriend. Would wouldn't meet

1216
00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:20,160
Speaker 3: your boyfriend. I'm keeping him very suburb I did it.

1217
00:53:20,280 --> 00:53:23,479
Speaker 3: I didn't say you were begging. I'm just saying where

1218
00:53:23,480 --> 00:53:26,359
Speaker 3: we're at, we're gonna I'm gonna keep him very very

1219
00:53:26,400 --> 00:53:30,280
Speaker 3: opposite of my business and work outside of this premiere,

1220
00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:31,359
Speaker 3: we're agreeing to do the same.

1221
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:34,280
Speaker 2: Well, y'all go ahead and check us out on patreon

1222
00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:37,760
Speaker 2: dot com backslash Horrible Decisions, and we will see you

1223
00:53:37,920 --> 00:53:38,520
Speaker 2: next week.

1224
00:53:38,880 --> 00:53:50,920
Speaker 1: That's right. Bye ah.