Speaker 1: Motherfucking many of us. So many of us, O, motherfucking
Speaker 1: many of us. So boop boop beat beat, there it goes, there,
Speaker 1: it goes. Welcome to an all new episode of My
Speaker 1: Mama Told Me the vodcast where we dive deep, deep
Speaker 1: into the pockets of black conspiracy theories and we work
Speaker 1: to prove the theories of you, the listeners, who quite frankly,
Speaker 1: have been taking a tone in the emails lately. Now
Speaker 1: I'm here to say, I don't care for it. You
Speaker 1: guys are speaking to us like little baby sluts the knowledge. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not cool, man. It's a lot of like, oh
Speaker 1: it is this too crazy for you? Know? You bitch
Speaker 1: made at you. Nigga is scared to adjust the real
Speaker 1: thing out there. Listen, I eat dinner in the dark.
Speaker 1: Nothing's too crazy. I watching meat dinner in the dark.
Speaker 1: I'm the craziest that is. I yeah, first of all.
Speaker 1: Second of all, I placed by that you nailed down.
Speaker 1: I'm getting nice with it. I gotta start practicing the harmonica. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: you gotta warm up. And frankly, I still haven't practiced
Speaker 1: my nunchucks. So we should feel like we should be
Speaker 1: like we should give it like, okay, because we're gonna
Speaker 1: get to two thousand subscribers. Yeah, we gotta put a
Speaker 1: deadline on my ship. So that this this I'm saying,
Speaker 1: we plan it for like a future live show. Like
Speaker 1: then it's like, come out and you can see the
Speaker 1: nunchucks and the harmonica. You are okay, okay, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't mind. I don't mind Baton switching the listeners a
Speaker 1: little bit. I don't like, Oh yeah, fuck them, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, you like, fuck them. I don't
Speaker 1: owe you shit. Yeah, I don't know you except for
Speaker 1: mom my mom, everybody else, so man, moms, the sort
Speaker 1: of family members, my little brother. This is this is
Speaker 1: a perfect I think, a perfect h marrying of our
Speaker 1: two obligations. So that's what I'm saying. At two thousand,
Speaker 1: we will team up and showcase both skills at once
Speaker 1: at a live show. Once. I like that, even Yesukay,
Speaker 1: let's fucking turn it into like a little bit of
Speaker 1: a Obama Springstein hook up. Yeah, get somebody to wrap, Oh, Olivia,
Speaker 1: that's what you're going at the live show. You Olivia
Speaker 1: is gonna wrap. I'll back you with the beat and
Speaker 1: then you gotta I'm gonna be honest, you probably gotta
Speaker 1: like you're gonna have to at least get a headband.
Speaker 1: I want you goddamn right, I'll wear a headband, and
Speaker 1: I want I want Olivia wrapping the words to fight
Speaker 1: the powers as I Nunchuck and you Harmonica. This is
Speaker 1: this is gonna be a problem. You should get. You
Speaker 1: should get. You know what you should get is like
Speaker 1: one of those Kendrick karate suits. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, when he became
Speaker 1: self aware inside of that nickname and he was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is this is my outfits. Now, Yeah, that's got complicated.
Speaker 1: If the artist journey, sometimes I think he's maybe not
Speaker 1: for me. Yeah, you start making these weird, like almost
Speaker 1: like cartoonish choices and we have to be like, I
Speaker 1: think it's because he's complicated. Yeah, Like I think he's
Speaker 1: just a really smart guy. Like I'm never gonna get
Speaker 1: a hat that crazy that it's gonna make you think
Speaker 1: I'm smarter than I am, do you? Yeah? Yeah yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: Like there has to be a level where you're saying
Speaker 1: shit and nobody really knows what's going on, and I'm
Speaker 1: just too I'm too grounded for that I think. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it seems especially in the rap world, where they're like
Speaker 1: constantly telling us that they're bringing their original friends along
Speaker 1: for like this entire journey. It feels like that's not
Speaker 1: even possible when you're wearing a karate outfit. Bro, Like
Speaker 1: the niggas you grew up with are either they are
Speaker 1: not your friends or they have been long gone. And
Speaker 1: you know it's the new people I live in my city.
Speaker 1: You think I could just like start just like a
Speaker 1: fucking gaucho and that's just gonna go. That's just gonna go.
Speaker 1: I gotta just like, yeah, a guy the fucking Rodigo grill,
Speaker 1: and everybody's just gonna be like, oh, yeah, that's the
Speaker 1: same Dave. That's the same guy I saw. It's too many,
Speaker 1: too many questions. I bought a pair of wide leg
Speaker 1: jeans and went to a party and everyone noticed, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, everyone it's like, bro, those flares
Speaker 1: and I'm like, yeah, well, you know it was part
Speaker 1: of this. They were like, no, nigga, no, not how
Speaker 1: you did it? No two weeks ago, sir, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: respect Andre. I don't know who we had around it.
Speaker 1: Let that transformation happen, because my people would not. My
Speaker 1: mom would be calling me like you just started going crazy. No, no,
Speaker 1: you can't get away with none of that. I've been
Speaker 1: thinking about getting some of those loafers and everybody's wearing
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I don't even know if I can.
Speaker 1: I don't even know like I wear, I can't wear them.
Speaker 1: To the barber shop, bro, I wore some loafers to show.
Speaker 1: I thought it was cool. Thanks man. But then but
Speaker 1: then on the way we we went and got food. Afterwards,
Speaker 1: everybody was hanging out and ship and then Sydney noticed
Speaker 1: I had on loafers and roasted me to no end talk.
Speaker 1: She called me all kinds of uh. She said I
Speaker 1: was wearing Harlem Renaissance fives, and she was she was
Speaker 1: losing her mind making fun of my shoes. She is
Speaker 1: very funny, but she's a person who can wear experimental
Speaker 1: new clothing. I don't know. I think you had to
Speaker 1: start like that. Like had I been pushing the boundaries
Speaker 1: of fashion early on, I think it would be allowed now.
Speaker 1: But I was always like right in the middle, like
Speaker 1: I want to and now look at me, I can't
Speaker 1: wear flares, right, Yeah, you gotta show up with the
Speaker 1: energy like, Hey, my name is David Borie, and I
Speaker 1: may not be in this hat tomorrow, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, Like it's gonna be a whole different vest. People.
Speaker 1: People don't know how to take me if I show
Speaker 1: up not wearing some form of athleisure, Like if I
Speaker 1: don't have a Nike swoosh anywhere on my person, people
Speaker 1: start to get nervous. Let alone, I flare. I wish
Speaker 1: I would get a new cut on a pant. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I haven't. I haven't had a new cut on a pant.
Speaker 1: I when boo, when it boot cut stuff, I've been
Speaker 1: like boot cut. I don't know, man, that those have
Speaker 1: been what is that two thousand and four or that
Speaker 1: we were we were in a deep boot cut. That's
Speaker 1: the last. That's the last new cut for me. That's
Speaker 1: the last new cut for me. So for so your
Speaker 1: transitions have really been about like starching or not starching, yeah,
Speaker 1: or just like better as shirts. Yeah you're fashionable, But
Speaker 1: but the cut that's the same cut, baby, bro. No,
Speaker 1: there's no different cut. There's no different different I can't even.
Speaker 1: I can't even. That's what the world I live in. Wow,
Speaker 1: have you ever been to a big bare not a
Speaker 1: lot of cuts. It seems freeing to some extent. It's like, nah,
Speaker 1: I figured out the pants that work. I I ain't
Speaker 1: never reassessing this band, right. I just want to have
Speaker 1: a crazy summer, though, like one summer where just I'm
Speaker 1: pulling up in linens. See linen isn't even that. I
Speaker 1: don't even know what the exciting fabrics are. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you this. You gotta go to you
Speaker 1: gotta make this international. If you're gonna pull that off,
Speaker 1: you gotta, like I think, you gotta spend the summer
Speaker 1: in like France or and come back yeah this summer.
Speaker 1: So yeah, okay, that's that's perfect because now you can
Speaker 1: truly pick your summer style that fits Brazil and rock
Speaker 1: that shit. And then when you come back and you
Speaker 1: slowly reintroduce some of those extra pieces into your wardrobe,
Speaker 1: it's like, nah, that motherfucker got little Brazil in him here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's all that is. But the thing is, my mind
Speaker 1: is not even set up for this year. Like when
Speaker 1: I'm in my head, we're talking about that, and all
Speaker 1: I'm doing is imagining myself in like matching short sets.
Speaker 1: That's not even excited now that ain't you gotta he
Speaker 1: there's an evolution beyond just like oh this this has
Speaker 1: flowers on it. So yeah, yeah, I just didn't you
Speaker 1: know how how slowly and in like steadily I had
Speaker 1: to integrate like flowers, the colored purple. Yeah, like like man,
Speaker 1: but I just want to like crazy, like a hat
Speaker 1: with a feather, like the mask. That's not it. You're
Speaker 1: in the writer's room. But you understand what I'm saying. No,
Speaker 1: I get it. You gotta you know what it is.
Speaker 1: You gotta do it. Just a taste of Harry styles.
Speaker 1: You don't gotta go all the way Harry styles he'd
Speaker 1: be wearing like you know, yeah he goes crazy, but
Speaker 1: but just a taste of Harry styles where it's like, hey,
Speaker 1: that's not how that shirt would normally be cut. All right,
Speaker 1: here we go. Well, I think we I think I
Speaker 1: need to introduce successories that aren't just like a watch,
Speaker 1: but you know, sometimes as rocky you'll have like a
Speaker 1: crazy scarf. Yeah, I need to start with that and
Speaker 1: then kind from there, Yeah, a gaudy fanny pack even
Speaker 1: like you highly like, oh man, don't be scared of whatever, man,
Speaker 1: because you're thing I put on a gaudy fanny back.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna look like like it's not gonna look like
Speaker 1: you think it's okay you do, I mean I get
Speaker 1: it thick for a gaudy fan like like a bedazzled Yeah.
Speaker 1: I wasn't thinking you would put it fanny pack style.
Speaker 1: I think cross yeah, cross strap type. Yeah, with the
Speaker 1: titties and all that. Split that's the class. Oh yeah, split, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: you gotta. You want your fanny back to uh titty
Speaker 1: fuck you a little bit, and yet that's the style.
Speaker 1: Put your hand on my throat. Did we get to
Speaker 1: the emails? Yeah, we can do it. You can do it.
Speaker 1: I think this was a good I think this was
Speaker 1: I think this is helpful for probably a lot of
Speaker 1: people listening who were scared to like break out of
Speaker 1: Like damn, don't be scared of it, y'all. You you
Speaker 1: can do it. Also, we don't give fuck either way. Yeah,
Speaker 1: keep listening. I truly don't give it. I don't care
Speaker 1: what you're wearing when you're listening. We just want your ears. Baby,
Speaker 1: you're listening mostly naked, and baby, he ain't mad at it.
Speaker 1: I come on, come on, man, how is my man
Speaker 1: supposed to set his meat with this shit. Bro, what
Speaker 1: the fuck you're killing to day? You're killing it today?
Speaker 1: And I woke up. Man, you're going crazy. We have
Speaker 1: a micronsing. It's just the whole thing. We have an
Speaker 1: email from a person who U goes by the name
Speaker 1: of Nisha. Nisha sent us an email and she said,
Speaker 1: to the hosts of one of my favorite podcasts, I
Speaker 1: don't like one of just say your favorite, Nisha, what
Speaker 1: the fuck? Yeah, I don't give a shit if you
Speaker 1: listen to The Dollar or whatever. Oh you love us
Speaker 1: and the Joe Rogan Experience. We get it. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: us in my favorite murder. I understand. Sorry, we're not
Speaker 1: true cry all right. So, so she says, I was
Speaker 1: listening to the last episode where y'all were saying that
Speaker 1: the Matrix wasn't good after the first one. I strongly
Speaker 1: believe it's because they stole the idea from a black
Speaker 1: woman and couldn't improve upon it well enough to make sequels.
Speaker 1: This might be just like obviously true, but I want
Speaker 1: us to talk about I want us to talk about
Speaker 1: this more. The same woman also created the Terminator and
Speaker 1: talks about how they related a little bit here, and
Speaker 1: then she links and she says best Nisha. Now, it
Speaker 1: is worth mentioning before we fully jump into this, that
Speaker 1: we have addressed this a little bit on the show,
Speaker 1: that the matrix and terminator were both created by the
Speaker 1: same black woman. There are countless YouTube videos of this
Speaker 1: woman explaining her position on the whole thing, and some
Speaker 1: people have become very adamant that this is true. I
Speaker 1: will note that in our previous addressing of this, I
Speaker 1: personally do not believe it to be true. For a second. Hey,
Speaker 1: I don't I'm not buying this ship one minute, ever.
Speaker 1: Kind of what Okay, let's okay, let's start. Let's start here.
Speaker 1: Why why what is it that makes you feel like
Speaker 1: this is in no way true? Okay, here's what I'll say. Uh,
Speaker 1: this black woman, I don't know her fucking name because
Speaker 1: she's nuts, because she's a goddamn nutty, cuckoo crazy, she's
Speaker 1: out of her fucking mind. I had never memorized her name.
Speaker 1: But but if you look up black woman. Okay, so
Speaker 1: Fia Stewart, it's her name. Olivia is sending us a
Speaker 1: vital information as we're talking this. So Fia Stewart is
Speaker 1: this woman's name, and she claims that she originally submitted
Speaker 1: the script for a Terminator I believe to writing competition
Speaker 1: that basically there was a magazine that had like a
Speaker 1: an open submission from I believe the Wachowskis. Isn't that
Speaker 1: their name? That that made the Matrix? That, oh, Terminator
Speaker 1: was like James Cameron, right, big dog. I am telling
Speaker 1: you what her claim is. I am not necessarily even
Speaker 1: suggesting that it makes sense. But she submits a writing
Speaker 1: competition for the the siblings, Yes, that made the Matrix,
Speaker 1: and then somehow those scripts were usurped by them to
Speaker 1: then make Terminator Terminator two and then subsequently the Matrix.
Speaker 1: You they have been like children. Again. It doesn't make sense,
Speaker 1: but that's her argument. Yeah, this isn't good because I
Speaker 1: thought it was gonna be. You know, there's that movie
Speaker 1: that was just like the Matrix. They came out like
Speaker 1: a year before without the budget, Perfect Dark or whatever
Speaker 1: where they said all the Flock, which I thought that
Speaker 1: movie is pretty great. By the way, I never saw
Speaker 1: it for it it's it's actually pretty good. Yeah. And
Speaker 1: that's dark is that the it's a that's a Vin
Speaker 1: Diesel uh where he's blind? Yeah. I think Perfect Dark
Speaker 1: was was it was maybe the original of it, and
Speaker 1: then Riddick was like their spinoff from okay him. A
Speaker 1: lot of people don't know that about the Chronicles of
Speaker 1: ridding U. No, that's insane, but yeah, it's it's real
Speaker 1: weird shit, man. And I'll go on to say that
Speaker 1: the argument Mint is and this is one of the
Speaker 1: things that people try to use to support somehow her
Speaker 1: being because those movies are so far apart, right that
Speaker 1: they're little apart a decade of distance between I think
Speaker 1: the original and in the Matrix. And one of the
Speaker 1: arguments that she makes is that it's the same universe
Speaker 1: that the Matrix is the sort of like I guess
Speaker 1: the fault the future fallout of our world also living
Speaker 1: inside of the Skynet takeoff matrix exactly that like you know,
Speaker 1: the world, it's the same way in the actual matrix
Speaker 1: the world is destroyed. They're saying that those are terminators
Speaker 1: walking around on the Earth that that are then traveling back.
Speaker 1: It's all simultaneous essentially. I Mean, here's the thing I
Speaker 1: does think, like sometimes I feel like science fiction it's
Speaker 1: like rap. There's just a lot of genre stuff that
Speaker 1: is who knows whose idea wasn't for the first mobile
Speaker 1: suit in anime. You know what I'm saying. I think
Speaker 1: there's a lot of like I don't think the idea
Speaker 1: of like we're all living in a simulation. I don't
Speaker 1: think the Wachowskis invented that as a science fiction theme. No,
Speaker 1: I don't think so either. And I think that that's
Speaker 1: that or the idea of AI becoming sentient and taking over.
Speaker 1: I don't think that the Terminator invented that. And I
Speaker 1: think I think she isn't crazy in that she didn't
Speaker 1: come up with an idea that crossed over to some
Speaker 1: of these things. Right. She might have had a little
Speaker 1: little bit of something on her fingers and it was like,
Speaker 1: holy shit, that idea is like my idea. But that
Speaker 1: come on, well, that that ain't people stealing from you.
Speaker 1: That's just that's something else. Listen, I'm gonna tell you
Speaker 1: something that happened to me this week. This is gonna
Speaker 1: fuck you up. Yeah. I wrote a joke about why
Speaker 1: I love big titties and then basically had an interview
Speaker 1: with will Yati where he said he relates to women
Speaker 1: with big titties for a far more selfish but similar reason. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just because great minds, you know you and Drizzy
Speaker 1: Drake Man. I when my when my Comedy Central uh
Speaker 1: half hour came out, I had a joke on it.
Speaker 1: This was like, obviously it's sort of in the heart
Speaker 1: of the Trump era, right, And and in the joke,
Speaker 1: I I talked about how white people they they played
Speaker 1: a trick on us because we all thought we were
Speaker 1: on the same page. That like, they did a little
Speaker 1: bit of a magic trick where they pretended we were
Speaker 1: all reasonable, and then this motherfucker popped up and it
Speaker 1: turned out they were that we hadn't agreed on at
Speaker 1: least that and and it that same year, Kat Williams
Speaker 1: came out with a joke that is nearly identical to
Speaker 1: the phrasing that I have in in in Punchline. Like
Speaker 1: the punchline is exactly the same. Everything else around it
Speaker 1: is a different take, But that punchline is so identical
Speaker 1: that I continue to be accused of stealing a joke
Speaker 1: that I recorded nine months before his specially even touched
Speaker 1: the earth, you know what I mean. No, I mean
Speaker 1: there's like, and that's the problem with Arthur. There's always
Speaker 1: this cross of like, you know, because original thought how
Speaker 1: much everybody's thinking something somebody stopped before. It's just whether
Speaker 1: you're the first woman sympathize it and put it into
Speaker 1: that specific medium. Like because I thought this was gonna
Speaker 1: be like a living single kind of thing. No, yeah,
Speaker 1: it is not a living single thing. We nobody has
Speaker 1: seen any versions of these transcripts to you know, that's
Speaker 1: never cited, at least when it all comes to it, right,
Speaker 1: nobody's like, yo, word for word, bar for bar, he
Speaker 1: stole my whole. Yeah, I ain't the soldier boyshit it is. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: truly just like yo, that lady says she wrote it.
Speaker 1: Why y'all steal that? Yeah, that's too my. And because
Speaker 1: I don't know, as far as what I can tell
Speaker 1: from people who are actually great, lightning really doesn't often
Speaker 1: only strike once, So like, where are her other fantastic
Speaker 1: like ideas? Yeah, apparently they were both the matrix and terminator,
Speaker 1: which is like, okay, well why did you submit both? Then?
Speaker 1: You know what I mean, just just go with one. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's not a good Damn. I really wanted this one
Speaker 1: to be true. No, she's a silly billy. I'm sorry
Speaker 1: to break it to you. And and what an inspiring story.
Speaker 1: Black women can be silly billies too, y'all can do
Speaker 1: out here. I do like equal opportunity fuckery. I don't, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I really, I really don't. I really don't. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: this lady and that lady who pretended to know sign
Speaker 1: language for that that murder case, Like just tell us
Speaker 1: that was that was my super Bowl, Like that was
Speaker 1: that was one of the better things I've ever seen.
Speaker 1: We should have her on. Hell yeah, we gotta get
Speaker 1: her on. The lady Uppard knows don language, she gotta
Speaker 1: she gotta believe some shit for real, for real. All right,
Speaker 1: we gotta wrap this up. Can you tell the people
Speaker 1: where they can find you on what cool shit you
Speaker 1: have going on? A watch me on Instagram at Cool
Speaker 1: Guy Jokes eighty seven. I'm I've been getting here, I've
Speaker 1: been getting your dms. I'm gonna fix the website. Here's
Speaker 1: you know, I got I gotta update the website. I understand,
Speaker 1: so official David Bore'll get updated. Then all the dates
Speaker 1: and stuff would be on there. But you know, March
Speaker 1: twenty third through twenty five comes see me at Rooster
Speaker 1: t Feathers and Sunnyvale, California. April seventh, eighth, and ninth
Speaker 1: comes see me at the Before You Die Fest and Anchorage,
Speaker 1: Alaska and other than that, you know, oh, watch Royal
Speaker 1: Crackers premiering on HBO Max April third. And you know,
Speaker 1: listen to my mom and told me every week with
Speaker 1: your clothes off? What's your clothes off? And you can
Speaker 1: follow me at Langston Kerman as always, And if you
Speaker 1: want to send us drops your own conspiracy theories. If
Speaker 1: you want to suggest that black women created Pretty Woman,
Speaker 1: go ahead and send those theories to my mama pod
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. We would love to hear from you.
Speaker 1: Follow the YouTube page, go watch the videos. Accuse us
Speaker 1: of being cones and sellouts. Oh we love you all right,
Speaker 1: bye bitch, and I ain't playing. Look. Motherfucking many years,
Speaker 1: so many yepisode. Motherfucking many years. Motherfucking many years, sonar,
Speaker 1: motherfucking many years. M m