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Speaker 1: Hi, Welcome back to the Carol Markowitz Show on iHeartRadio.

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Speaker 1: This week, some guy posted a before and after picture

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Speaker 1: of himself after a serious regimen of working out. A

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Speaker 1: different guy than posted a poll asking people if they

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Speaker 1: thought he looked better before or after. The results were

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Speaker 1: somewhat surprising. Forty three percent of men thought he looked

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Speaker 1: better after, while only seven percent of women responders thought

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Speaker 1: the same. Now, that's not a perfect one hundred because

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Speaker 1: it wasn't one hundred percent of women or.

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Speaker 2: Men who responded.

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Speaker 1: Twenty four percent of men thought he looked better before,

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Speaker 1: and seven percent of women thought he looked better after.

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Speaker 1: A third guy then posted saying why do women lie

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Speaker 1: about this?

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Speaker 3: Like?

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Speaker 2: What is the actual reason?

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Speaker 1: Of course, the women weren't lying. In the first picture,

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Speaker 1: the man is mostly fit already. He isn't cut, but

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Speaker 1: he's not fat or anything like that. In the second picture,

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Speaker 1: he's in tight little shorts and he's very cut up.

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Speaker 1: I mean a twelve pack, not a six pack. The

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Speaker 1: responses from women were that the second picture is nice,

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Speaker 1: but it's a little much. Some women said he seemed

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Speaker 1: more feminine in the second picture. Some women said his

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Speaker 1: little shorts coded as gay to them. Other women said

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Speaker 1: the second picture looked like a guy who would spend

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Speaker 1: all his time talking about weightlifting and macros.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure all of that is true, but the real

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Speaker 2: thing is that we.

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Speaker 1: Can't help what we find attractive, and it won't always

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Speaker 1: be what people think. I talk on here a lot

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Speaker 1: about what is wrong with online dating, the swiping culture,

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Speaker 1: but I think one of the things is that people

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Speaker 1: think they're supposed to swipe on the second guy.

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Speaker 2: In the picture and not the first.

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Speaker 1: And while women know that they find the first picture

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Speaker 1: more attractive, I think they're just more likely to pursue

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Speaker 1: the second because he's what they're supposed to want.

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Speaker 2: Of course, this is true for men too.

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Speaker 1: I know lots of men who have fallen in love

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Speaker 1: in real life with women they wouldn't have swiped yess

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Speaker 1: on the apps. The what you're supposed to want is

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Speaker 1: in effect when you're choosing from an online catalog in

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Speaker 1: a way that it just isn't when you fall in

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Speaker 1: love with your coworker or with your neighbor. If you're

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Speaker 1: having trouble meeting someone, consider whether you're choosing someone that

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Speaker 1: you think.

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Speaker 2: You're supposed to choose, or if.

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Speaker 1: You're choosing someone who actually attracts you. And yes, of course,

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Speaker 1: get off the apps and try to do all that

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Speaker 1: in real life. Thanks for listening. Coming up next and

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Speaker 1: interview with Delano Squires. Join us after the break. Hi,

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Speaker 1: and welcome back to the Carol Markovich Show on iHeartRadio.

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Speaker 1: My guest today is Delano Squires. Delano is a research

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Speaker 1: fellow and Life Religion and Family at Heritage and a

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Speaker 1: contributor at Blaze.

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Speaker 2: So nice to have you on, Delano. How are you.

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Speaker 3: I'm doing well, Thank you for having me.

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Speaker 2: So how did you get into this world?

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Speaker 1: What does somebody need to do in order to end

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Speaker 1: up a research fellow and Life, Religion and Family.

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Speaker 4: So my path is non conventional, to say the least.

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Speaker 4: Prior to coming to Heritage, I actually worked for almost

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Speaker 4: fifteen years in local government in Washington, d C. So

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Speaker 4: I was always I did community work, mainly in low

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Speaker 4: income neighborhoods. The last year was in the Office of

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Speaker 4: Gun Violence Prevention. But I've been writing about issues related

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Speaker 4: to marriage and family and culture.

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Speaker 3: For well over a decade.

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Speaker 4: I first started writing for a site called Black and

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Speaker 4: Married with Kids at a time while I was still single.

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Speaker 3: I was only single writer. And then I've written for

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Speaker 3: The Root and The Grio, which are.

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Speaker 4: Publications geared, you know, targeting an African American audience, as

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Speaker 4: well as for the Federalists. And now I have a

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Speaker 4: weekly column that I writed The Blaze. So it was

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Speaker 4: a combination of that work and then you know, some

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Speaker 4: of my public commentary that put me on the radar

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Speaker 4: for the Heritage Foundation. And when I left DC government,

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Speaker 4: or when I was pushed out of DC government, I

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Speaker 4: was able to make a smooth transition over here and

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Speaker 4: continue to write about, you know, some of the issues

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Speaker 4: that I think are the most important ones in our society.

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Speaker 1: Why were you pushed out of DC government?

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Speaker 3: Well, I say pushed out tongue in cheek.

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Speaker 4: It was, you know, sort of a I got caught

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Speaker 4: in a bureaucratic Bermuda triangle. I was in detail to

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Speaker 4: one agency and then my home agency didn't have funding

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Speaker 4: for my position, so they let me go, you know,

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Speaker 4: a little bit earlier than I thought they would.

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Speaker 3: But I'm thankful, Yeah, because.

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Speaker 4: As someone who struggled to find a job coming out

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Speaker 4: of college, and it took me about two and a

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Speaker 4: half years to really get on a career track. I

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Speaker 4: spent one day less than one day unemployed between when

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Speaker 4: I was let go at DC government and ended up

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Speaker 4: coming over the heritage so amazing.

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Speaker 1: So how does a single guy get into writing about marriage?

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Speaker 3: So? I grew up in New York. Where in New

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Speaker 3: York and Queens.

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Speaker 2: I grew up in Queen's a part of Queens.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I'm from Brooklyn. My husband's from Queens, you know. Ok,

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Speaker 1: I have to get the details.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, So I grew up in New York and spent

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Speaker 4: a ton of time in Brooklyn, mainly East Flatbush, you know,

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Speaker 4: with my friends and you know where we went to church,

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Speaker 4: and we would always talk about why our lives look

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Speaker 4: so much different than some of the kids we went

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Speaker 4: to school with. And we came to the conclusions, like,

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Speaker 4: our parents are married, our family's intact, our dads are present,

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Speaker 4: and not just each of us individually in our homes,

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Speaker 4: but just the men we went to church with, the

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Speaker 4: ones who poured into us, the ones who kept us

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Speaker 4: out of trouble. So as I got older, even though

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Speaker 4: I wasn't married, I wanted to write about the importance

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Speaker 4: of marriage, particularly in the black community, because even by

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Speaker 4: that time, some of the statistics that people here, you know,

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Speaker 4: seventy percent out of wedlock birth rate and things of

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Speaker 4: that nature were already a reality. So I wrote about

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Speaker 4: it because I thought it was important, and not just

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Speaker 4: from a policy perspective, but also from a cultural perspective, right,

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Speaker 4: the importance of marriage and family and fathers. And then

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Speaker 4: from there they'll just open up other opportunities for me.

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Speaker 4: So this has always been a passion of mine, and

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Speaker 4: now I get to do research and write about these

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Speaker 4: issues more generally speaking, because many of the issues that

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Speaker 4: social scientists have talked about with the black family since

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Speaker 4: the nineteen sixties are prevalent among all American families today.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, so that's how I got started. And as

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Speaker 4: I said, there's been a long and winding path, but

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Speaker 4: I'm certainly glad to be where I am today.

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Speaker 1: So how are your pieces received?

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Speaker 4: And, like Root or the Grio, at the time, they

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Speaker 4: were well received. Funny last piece I wrote for the

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Speaker 4: Route was twenty sixteen, and it was I was somewhat

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Speaker 4: critical of how the Republican Party did outreach to black voters.

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Speaker 3: There was.

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Speaker 4: A black she went by GOP Black Chick, a woman

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Speaker 4: named Crystal Wright who was really big on the scene

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Speaker 4: prior to sort of Candice Owens ascension on the right.

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Speaker 4: And she went on Fox and Friends on February first,

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Speaker 4: It's twenty sixteen, so first day of Black History, and

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Speaker 4: she said she said that black voters are political dummies

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Speaker 4: who were basically slaves on the Democrat crap plantation. It

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Speaker 4: was that type of talk, and I said, this is

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Speaker 4: not You don't win voters over by insulting their intelligence,

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Speaker 4: so things like that.

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Speaker 1: You're the worst to vote for us, right.

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Speaker 3: Exactly, exactly. Yeah. So I think those pieces were well received.

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Speaker 4: I wrote one for Father's Day one year about the

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Speaker 4: lessons I learned from my dad.

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Speaker 3: I think those things were well received.

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Speaker 4: But I'll say this, I saw both the Root and

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Speaker 4: the Grill drift to the left over the years, and

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Speaker 4: I think part of that may be new management, you know,

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Speaker 4: just a different cultural landscape, to the point where when

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Speaker 4: I wrote a piece, for instance, called.

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Speaker 3: Arguing that we need a Black Lives Matter.

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Speaker 4: Movement that was published in Newsweek, But I pitched that

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Speaker 4: to both the Root and the Grillo prior, and neither

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Speaker 4: of them even responded to the pitch from Heritage. So

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Speaker 4: it's one of those things where certain issues I don't

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Speaker 4: think those sites are interested in covering, so I don't

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Speaker 4: think i'd be able to write on some of the

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Speaker 4: same things today. And part of that is just a

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Speaker 4: shift in the cultural landscape.

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Speaker 1: What do you think people misunderstand about the marriage problem,

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Speaker 1: you know, in the black community, but also in other communities.

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Speaker 2: Now as well.

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Speaker 4: I think the first thing people misunderstand is that this

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Speaker 4: is mainly a matter of economics, like, oh, people nowadays

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Speaker 4: don't have enough money to get married. I don't think

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Speaker 4: that's it at all.

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Speaker 2: You don't think that's it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we did to challenge that.

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Speaker 2: I was gonna say, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I hear that point of view a lot, but I

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Speaker 1: don't think it's an economics issue either.

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Speaker 2: Go ahead, Yeah, sorry, obviously.

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Speaker 4: I believe particularly you know, when it comes to men,

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Speaker 4: like a man has to have a steady job, somewhere

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Speaker 4: to lay his head, and hopefully a stable mode of transportation.

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Speaker 4: If you're in New York, you can get away from

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Speaker 4: you don't need that. You have some money on you

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Speaker 4: on your metro card, and you can.

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Speaker 3: Get around the city. But what you see, you know.

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Speaker 4: I originally wrote an op ed on the sixtieth Anniversity

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Speaker 4: of the moynhan Report, you know, which touched on issues

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Speaker 4: of the black family. So at the point where Danian

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Speaker 4: Patrick moynihan felt, Okay, the state of the Black family is,

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Speaker 4: it's such that I should write about this. Right, the

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Speaker 4: out of wedlock birth rate for Black women was about

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Speaker 4: twenty five percent, so that meant three and four Black

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Speaker 4: children were still born.

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Speaker 3: To married parents.

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Speaker 4: That was at a time where the black poverty rate

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Speaker 4: was about forty percent. And what you've seen is that

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Speaker 4: the poverty rate has basically been cut in half, but

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Speaker 4: the out of wedlock birth rate has almost tripled. And

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Speaker 4: the graph looks the same for all Americans. Right, So

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Speaker 4: people have more have more material resources, more material wealth

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Speaker 4: than they did in the nineteen sixties.

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Speaker 3: But out of wedlock births.

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Speaker 4: Nationally that the non matter of birth rate nationally is

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Speaker 4: about forty percent. So I don't think it's an issue

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Speaker 4: primarily of resources, which is one of the reasons why

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Speaker 4: you see couples often today who have the baby first

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Speaker 4: and then decide whether they want to get married later.

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Speaker 4: I think the biggest issue is that marriage is no

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Speaker 4: longer seen as valuable, desirable, accessible, or indispensable when it

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Speaker 4: comes to form a family, and it was seen that

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Speaker 4: way in previous generations, which is why people got married

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Speaker 4: earlier and why they tended to stay married longer. Obviously,

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Speaker 4: you know, with the issues of divorce, there have been

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Speaker 4: many people obviously we've gotten divorced, particularly no fault divorce

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Speaker 4: became a thing. But I also know several people, myself included,

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Speaker 4: who can say, yeah, my parents have been married, you know,

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Speaker 4: thirty five, forty forty five, fifty years. My concern is

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Speaker 4: that my generation may be the last one to be

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Speaker 4: able to say that if we continue on the trajectory

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Speaker 4: we're on.

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Speaker 1: So what happened what made marriage undesirable? Was there like

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Speaker 1: a moment or was it just a slide?

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Speaker 4: So I go back to the nineteen sixties, and I

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Speaker 4: know it's always hard to talk about a period of

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Speaker 4: time where you weren't around, because you can get certain

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Speaker 4: things from statistics, but you have to be in a

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Speaker 4: place to really get mood, right.

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Speaker 2: I could blame the hippies though I wasn't there, but

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Speaker 2: I could tell.

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Speaker 4: So what I would say is this, and I see

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Speaker 4: this again. First, I think the Black family was the

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Speaker 4: canary in the coal mine. In the nineteen sixties, you

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Speaker 4: have two movements rising. At the same time. You have

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Speaker 4: the rise of the welfare state, right, so big government liberalism,

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Speaker 4: where you know, the spending on particularly for low income

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Speaker 4: moms with children, Yeah, explodes. Between nineteen sixty five and

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Speaker 4: nineteen eighty five. People talk about the men in the

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Speaker 4: House rule that said that a woman on welfare could

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Speaker 4: not receive it if there was a man in the house,

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Speaker 4: or there's an incentive for men not to be in

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Speaker 4: the home. So you have big government liberalism rising, that's policy.

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Speaker 4: At the same time you have second wave feminism rising.

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Speaker 4: Now I'd argue big government displaces men, and I would

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Speaker 4: say that second wave feminism deceived women. This was the

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Speaker 4: deception that femininity is weak, masculinity is toxic, marriage is oppressive,

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Speaker 4: the home is a prison, and children are burden.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: So what you get when you marry those two things,

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Speaker 4: no pun attended, is you get, in some respects, a

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Speaker 4: parallel family structure where husband is displaced and uncle Sam

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Speaker 4: in the form of the federal government assumes the role

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Speaker 4: of husband and father to millions of poor women and

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Speaker 4: their children. And this doesn't mean that every single mom

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Speaker 4: is on welfare. I'm not making an argument. I'm saying

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Speaker 4: what we created was a new family structure that made

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Speaker 4: it possible for a man to abandon his financial responsibilities

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Speaker 4: to his family and for a woman to feel as

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Speaker 4: if she was liberated quote unquote from the grip of

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Speaker 4: the patriarchy while signing herself up to be married.

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Speaker 3: To the government.

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Speaker 4: And once you put that in motion as a cultural norm, right,

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Speaker 4: and you see it replicated, and you are in communities

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Speaker 4: where there are no men in the home raising kids

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Speaker 4: with their wives. Now what you get is a new

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Speaker 4: norm that can replicate itself without sort of a continued

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Speaker 4: external push. And I think that parallel family structure is

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Speaker 4: what you've seen sort of spread throughout the culture generally speaking.

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Speaker 4: So now again, even if you are upwardly mobile six

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Speaker 4: figure women, right, you don't you, but you still have

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Speaker 4: come around in a culture that says a man in

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Speaker 4: the home as my husband is not necessary. I can

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Speaker 4: do it by myself if you're on a higher you know,

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Speaker 4: sort of economic rung. And then if you're on the

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Speaker 4: lower one, you can say I can do it with

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Speaker 4: myself with help from the government. So that's what I

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Speaker 4: would say has been the dominant culture for the better

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Speaker 4: part of about sixty years, that men are no longer necessary.

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Speaker 4: Men in marriage, are no longer necessary when it comes

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Speaker 4: to forming a family.

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Speaker 2: So what's interesting about that?

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Speaker 1: Though? Right, you talk about your parents being married for

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Speaker 1: forty plus years. I grew up in Flatbush, not far

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Speaker 1: away from the you know where you were talking about it.

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Speaker 2: Ease Flatbush.

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Speaker 1: It was always a point of pride when your parents

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Speaker 1: were married, and it was a point of pride for

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Speaker 1: the kids, and it was a point of pride for

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Speaker 1: the parents. How come, even though that's like something that

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Speaker 1: people have so much, you know, just take so much

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Speaker 1: pride in, why hasn't that kind of spread to the culture.

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Speaker 1: Why don't we think of that as something to aspire to,

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Speaker 1: despite the fact that the people who are in it

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Speaker 1: are so happy to be in it.

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Speaker 4: I think one reason is because over the course of decades,

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Speaker 4: no one wants to feel as if they're stigmatized someone else.

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Speaker 4: And one of the things, and I said this sometimes

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Speaker 4: to people on the right, there's no way to create

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Speaker 4: and uphold an ideal without policing either the behavior or

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Speaker 4: the people that transgress that idea on the back end, right.

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Speaker 1: Like you can't say this is bad. You know, but

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Speaker 1: you know single mom is a bad thing to do,

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Speaker 1: but because you know it offends a lot of people.

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Speaker 1: But but you're also you want to get to the

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Speaker 1: place where people do it less.

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Speaker 2: So it's it's a tough dance, right, So.

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Speaker 3: So you have to choose. You have to choose one.

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Speaker 4: You either have to accept new new norms and say, well,

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Speaker 4: these are equally good, or you can say this is

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Speaker 4: the ideal and even gently sort of police it on

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Speaker 4: the on the on on the back end, I think

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Speaker 4: people don't mind policing. The police function right in terms

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Speaker 4: of social stigma when it is pointed at men who

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Speaker 4: fail to fulfill their responsibilities.

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Speaker 3: So easier, it's much easier, guy's a deadbeat dad.

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Speaker 4: But the moment, culturally speaking, we feel as if we

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Speaker 4: are criticizing in any way, shape or form what women

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Speaker 4: do in terms of relationships single motherhood, particularly if it's

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Speaker 4: single motherhood by choice, then people, I think, get a

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Speaker 4: lot less comfortable. They say, oh, we don't want to stigmatize.

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Speaker 4: We don't want people to feel bad, We don't want

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Speaker 4: those children to feel stigmatized. Right, And I guess.

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Speaker 1: If you don't, you don't want them to be stigmatized. Right,

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Speaker 1: you might have them in your family or among your friends.

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Speaker 1: You don't want them to feel bad, but you also

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Speaker 1: don't want to see it replicate itself correct along the

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Speaker 1: larger culture.

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Speaker 3: Correct correct Now.

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Speaker 4: I give this example because I think there are ways

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Speaker 4: to handle this in the culture. And the best example

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Speaker 4: is in schools.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 4: You go to any school, particularly in a big school

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Speaker 4: district New York, Philadelphia, DC, and you're going to see

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Speaker 4: college pushed from the time kids into kindergarten. You'll see

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Speaker 4: the little banner of Duke and Harvard and Yale and Stanford,

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Speaker 4: and you will hear administrators saying, we believe every child

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Speaker 4: should go to college. And they say that even though

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Speaker 4: many of the children in these schools have parents who

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Speaker 4: did not go to college. But nobody feels as if

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Speaker 4: we're saying, oh, you're a bad person if you don't

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Speaker 4: even go to college, because we recognize that, generally speaking,

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Speaker 4: parents want better for the kids than what they've had

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Speaker 4: for themselves, and people believe that college net net is

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Speaker 4: a positive good and an ideal that children should strive for.

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Speaker 4: And my argument is that we can do something similar

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Speaker 4: with the ideal of putting marriage before carriage. Now, if

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Speaker 4: some people say I don't want to get married at all,

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Speaker 4: I don't want kids, that's fine, that's their preference. But

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Speaker 4: when it comes to forming a family, particularly with children

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Speaker 4: are involved, I believe that we should prioritize the needs

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Speaker 4: and rights of children over the desires of adults.

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Speaker 3: And the right that I'm talking about.

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Speaker 4: Is every child's right to the affection, protection, correction, and

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Speaker 4: direction of the man and woman who created them, and

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Speaker 4: that I believe that right is best exercised in a

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Speaker 4: loving and low conflict home with a married mom and dad.

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Speaker 4: So I think there's ways to talk about it.

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Speaker 3: But I think all.

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Speaker 1: Photology example is a very good one, right, and we

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Speaker 1: see it.

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Speaker 4: And the thing is, I would argue that the difference

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Speaker 4: between let's say, getting a college degree and not getting one,

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Speaker 4: particularly if you're in the trades, is vastly It's a smaller,

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Speaker 4: sort of marginal difference than getting married before you have

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Speaker 4: kids and sort of choosing to let's say, as a man,

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Speaker 4: let's say I choose to have five kids by four women,

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Speaker 4: none of whom I live with. That's a very big difference, right,

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Speaker 4: Five by one is different than five by five, if

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Speaker 4: I could put it that way, Yes.

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Speaker 3: Yes, yeah.

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Speaker 1: My nine year old says, you want eighteen kids, and

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Speaker 1: I say, as long as you're all having them all

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Speaker 1: with the same woman, I don't care whatever you want,

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Speaker 1: as long as there's only one baby Mama.

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Speaker 3: Come Thanksgiving, you know, there we go.

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Speaker 1: We're going to take a quick break and be right

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Speaker 1: back on the Carol Marcowitch Show. So what do you

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Speaker 1: worry about?

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Speaker 3: That's a good question.

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Speaker 4: I'm not particularly prone to worry. But if I am

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Speaker 4: concerned about the state of the American family, and the

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Speaker 4: reason why is because I believe that many of the

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Speaker 4: issues that vex policymakers, whether in the schoolhouse, the courthouse,

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Speaker 4: or the jail house, all starting home. So I'm concerned

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Speaker 4: that we are making it more difficult and we've lost

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Speaker 4: our way in terms of the natural order of things.

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Speaker 3: Right, you and I we grew up going to school.

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Speaker 4: You hear this on the school yard, right, Chris and

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Speaker 4: Christine are sitting in the tree, KI s S I

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Speaker 4: n G.

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Speaker 3: First comes love, then comes marriage.

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Speaker 1: To bring that song back.

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Speaker 3: Right, that comes baby in the baby carriage.

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Speaker 4: I'm concerned because the new script is not working, and

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Speaker 4: that new script is Chris and Christina are staring at

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Speaker 4: their screens t e XTI G. First comes sex, then

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Speaker 4: comes baby, then comes marriage. But that's a big maybe.

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Speaker 4: So I'm worried that that's becoming more and more normal.

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Speaker 4: And I'm concerned because I don't think as a society

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Speaker 4: we've really thought long term about what that means, not

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Speaker 4: just on a family basis, not just on a community basis,

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Speaker 4: not just on a city on a city level, but

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Speaker 4: on a national level and really a civilizational level.

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Speaker 1: What advice would you give a sixteen year.

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Speaker 2: Old Dolato.

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Speaker 3: M Listen to your parents.

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Speaker 4: Their wisdom is underrated. And just because you know a

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Speaker 4: few things doesn't mean you know everything. And you know

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Speaker 4: the people that God has given you and put around you,

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Speaker 4: the adults that have wisdom and life experiences tell you

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Speaker 4: the things that they tell you because they love you,

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Speaker 4: not because they want to keep you from having fun.

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Speaker 2: They're not trying to get in your way.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 2: Do you get back to Queens.

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Speaker 4: A lot every once in a while, actually going up

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Speaker 4: soon for you know, family function. So I try to

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Speaker 4: see my parents as much as I can, and they

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Speaker 4: come come down to the DC area and spend time

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Speaker 4: and actually, you know, we were talking about family, one

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Speaker 4: of the things that people don't realize. Let's say I

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Speaker 4: get married at thirty seven, I have my first kid

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Speaker 4: at forty, and I have a son. He does the

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Speaker 4: same thing. Married at thirty seven, first kid at forty. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: I become a first time granddad at eighty years old.

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Speaker 1: Right, it's tough.

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Speaker 3: It's tough.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: So the ways in which we've delayed marriage and having

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Speaker 4: family even have an effect on potential grandparents because mom

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Speaker 4: and dad they want some they want some grand babies.

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Speaker 4: So as soon as you get married, they start to

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Speaker 4: look and they say, look, you know, hey, so yeah,

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Speaker 4: so I try to see him as often as possible.

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Speaker 1: How do you stress that to your you know, to

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Speaker 1: the next generation. How do you say to them, do

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Speaker 1: this sooner than I did it?

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Speaker 2: It's I had, you.

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Speaker 1: Know, But I also if I had, if I had

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Speaker 1: gotten married earlier than I did, I would have married

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Speaker 1: the wrong person. You know.

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Speaker 2: It's a tough. It's a tough.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I got married at thirty one. I had my

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Speaker 1: kids in my thirties. I'm fine with my kids doing that. Obviously,

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00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:36,240
Speaker 1: if they meet the right person earlier, I hope they

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Speaker 1: don't wait. But if they don't, you know, what are

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Speaker 1: you gonna do?

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Speaker 4: It's hard. I'm similar. I got married at thirty, my

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00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:45,840
Speaker 4: wife was twenty nine. But now looking back on it,

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Speaker 4: I'm one of the younger people I know.

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Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, now we're the babies, babies and babies. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I honestly think that marriage as an institution needs a rebrand,

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Speaker 4: and I think part of that rebrand is not just

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Speaker 4: talking about the sequence. So as much as I love

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Speaker 4: the success sequence, it's also about talking about the timing

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Speaker 4: and letting young people know you don't have to put

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Speaker 4: off this major decision until you have every single thing

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Speaker 4: in your life exactly where you want it, so letting

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Speaker 4: them know that as possible to do it earlier than

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Speaker 4: most people think, Like my parents got married, I think

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Speaker 4: at twenty four and twenty one something like that, which

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Speaker 4: was normal back then, that was actually right on target.

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Speaker 4: And right now, the median age and first marriage is

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Speaker 4: thirty one and twenty nine, and there's no reason to expect,

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Speaker 4: just giving our current cultural trends, that it won't in

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Speaker 4: another twenty years be up to I don't know, thirty

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Speaker 4: seven and thirty five or close to forty at all

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Speaker 4: if at all? Right, So, I think there are ways

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Speaker 4: to do it some schools. There's some colleges where that

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00:24:56,359 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 4: ring by ring by Spring or mrs degree culture is

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Speaker 4: still there. But I think it's something that needs to

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Speaker 4: be discussed and sort of just raising awareness and to say, hey,

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Speaker 4: this is this is the most important decision you're going

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Speaker 4: to make with your life, and marriage and family are

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Speaker 4: going to give you a level of personal fulfillment that

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Speaker 4: you can't get anywhere else.

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Speaker 1: I really think you're the guy to do the rebrand. Honestly,

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Speaker 1: I think I think you really You're really onto a

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Speaker 1: lot of things here. And I've had, you know, I've

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Speaker 1: obviously had the conversation about marriage in a lot of

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Speaker 1: different ways. I just think you bring up some really

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Speaker 1: interesting arguments and I appreciate that I nominate you to

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Speaker 1: do the marriage rebrand across the country.

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Speaker 2: Let's go.

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Speaker 3: I appreciate that, so.

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Speaker 1: And us here with your best tip for my listeners

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Speaker 1: on how they can improve their lives.

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Speaker 3: Hmm, that's a good one. I would say this.

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Speaker 4: I would say to invest your energy and your resources

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Speaker 4: and the people who are closest to you, the people

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Speaker 4: who matter the most. I'd say divest from political obsession

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00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:07,200
Speaker 4: and invest in family and friends. Because people who have

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Speaker 4: strong faith commitments, who have a strong you know, sort

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Speaker 4: of family ties, and who have personally fulfilling you know,

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Speaker 4: friendships and relationships. In my experience, and I think the

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Speaker 4: day to bear this out, those are the people that

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Speaker 4: tend to be most content and happy with their lives.

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Speaker 4: So for me, you know, my wife and I we're

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Speaker 4: part of a really great local church where we do

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Speaker 4: life together with other couples, my best friends growing up.

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Speaker 4: You know, we played on the same church team in Brooklyn.

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00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,160
Speaker 4: We're still best friends to this day. We talk every

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Speaker 4: day on WhatsApp. And you know, my family and other

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00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:49,280
Speaker 4: you know, church family are people who I lean on,

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Speaker 4: you know, when times get difficult.

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Speaker 3: So I would say.

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Speaker 4: To buck the cultural trend of seeing partisan power as

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00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:04,119
Speaker 4: the end all be all, yeah, and get back to

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Speaker 4: doing life with real life people.

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Speaker 1: I love that. Here is Dolano Squires. Thank you so

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Speaker 1: much for coming on, Delano. It's been an amazing conversation.

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Speaker 2: Thanks, thank you.

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Speaker 3: I appreciate you having me on.

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Speaker 1: Thanks so much for joining us on the Carol Marcowitch Show.

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Speaker 1: Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts