00:00:08 Speaker 1: Well, I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear. But you're a guest to my home. You gotta come to me empty, And I said, no guests, your own presences presence and I already had too much stuff, So how do you dare to surbey me? 00:00:48 Speaker 2: Welcome to? I said, no gifts. I'm Bridgard Wineger. Oh okay, we're not in the backyard. It's we've just got to say that up front. The backyard is a bit of a disaster zone. We you know, we were planning to record back there, but mother nature had other ideas. Non stop rain flooding in the house. And so we're in the in the office and hopefully eventually the rain will leave me. B But let's get into the podcast. I absolutely love today's guest. He's so funny. Jeffrey self. Hi, welcome to. I said, no gifts. 00:01:28 Speaker 3: Thanks for having me. I'm sorry about your your house being washed away. 00:01:33 Speaker 2: It's this is the second time. Really, same thing happened last year. 00:01:37 Speaker 3: Oh around Christmas time it poured down rain NonStop. 00:01:40 Speaker 2: All right, New Year's Eve, we went. I went into the back office just. 00:01:44 Speaker 3: To celebrate you a little paperwork to ring in the. 00:01:48 Speaker 2: News file some things away walked into like maybe six inches of water. 00:01:54 Speaker 3: So that was honey, that's not the six inches you want to walk into a New Year's e. 00:02:01 Speaker 2: Tell me about it. 00:02:02 Speaker 3: No, it's yeah. I was. I was here last New Year's Eve and it and I was with my in laws who were from the UK, and we're so excited for a sunny California holiday. And guess what folks, they didn't get it? 00:02:16 Speaker 2: Was it raining their entire trip. Yeah, what a shame. I should have stayed in London. 00:02:20 Speaker 3: They should have stayed in London. Have been easier for me, that's for sure. But now I do you like, like, where are you from? Utah? Oh? Do you get lots of rain? 00:02:30 Speaker 2: In Utah is also technically a desert. But where I grew up, we got rain more regularly than l A does. 00:02:38 Speaker 3: Did you grow up Mormon? Oh? Yeah, oh you might have. 00:02:42 Speaker 2: You might not have. You might have just gotten a vibe. 00:02:44 Speaker 3: I mean yeah, I definitely get the vibe now that I know, And you're still practicing. 00:02:49 Speaker 2: Absolutely really dedicated to the to the craft. No, I mean it's over. It's over between me and the Mormon. 00:02:58 Speaker 3: Get it. There's always you got an know when to call it, and I think I think you probably figured that out. 00:03:05 Speaker 2: It was a nasty breakup, but I've moved on. But yeah, flooding blah blah blah, oh, flooding. Well, hopefully the fix this time happens. I've bought the little moisture detector and I'm all over the walls. I feel like a real detective. 00:03:20 Speaker 3: I guess down here too, because you're kind of like down hills. We're at the top of a hill. Oh so we just sit up there on your throne, at the pap at the people below, she just says, everyone just gets wet. 00:03:33 Speaker 2: Well, I'll be laughing when your house slides past mine. I'll wave from my water on our hill. 00:03:40 Speaker 3: There was like quite a few like areas that like with rocks and stuff that looked mud slighty, And I did think, well, this is one way to get some insurance money. 00:03:50 Speaker 2: But you'd be surprised. Insurance is weird about when I called last year about the water, they said, well, if you had left the hoson and flooded it, we would cover it, but we don't cover rain, which it feels like it should. 00:04:02 Speaker 3: Be the opposite the other. Yeah, it's quite simply I have only owned a house for like seven months, so I don't know. I just found out I had house insurance. 00:04:14 Speaker 2: Sure, yeah, it's required. 00:04:16 Speaker 3: Yeah. I didn't realize that was like a thing that we like because we I bought a house I was renting, and so I bought off my landlord. So because honestly, I just didn't want to have to move, and he wanted He didn't want to have to find like I don't think he wanted to sell it. I didn't want to move. Like everybody just was really lazy. It was just like you washt this done? And uh so someone like did it all. And so I didn't realize that we that we had homeowners insurance. What an interesting conversation. 00:04:43 Speaker 2: Let's get into the details of homeowners insurance. I am dealing with so many insurance problems right now. I my life has become. 00:04:52 Speaker 3: The neck brace. 00:04:53 Speaker 2: Sure, I'm not kidding them. My cars in the shop. I've I'm the victim of a hit and runs. 00:04:59 Speaker 3: One My husband's car is in the shop because he he drove into a column while Christmas shopping. What happened to you? 00:05:08 Speaker 2: Somebody did a hit and run in a parking lot while I was hiking. 00:05:10 Speaker 3: Oh, no, hike. 00:05:12 Speaker 2: It's a hike in Palm Springs called kay oh yes, yes, the palm. I'm not gonna get it. 00:05:20 Speaker 3: But either way, if you're in Palm Springs, I guess world of story. 00:05:23 Speaker 2: Don't go hiking, don't park, don't go hiking. Just keep the car. 00:05:27 Speaker 3: Guys like, what are you doing? Why are you moving around in Palm Springs. 00:05:31 Speaker 2: I shouldn't have been doing it. It was on Thanksgiving. 00:05:34 Speaker 3: You're hiking on Thanksgiving. So you're doing paperwork in your office on New Year's Eve. You're hiking on Thanksgiving. 00:05:40 Speaker 2: I know how to celebrate. 00:05:41 Speaker 3: What do you do on the fourth of July? Like knit, I'm. 00:05:45 Speaker 2: Mowing the lawn. Yeah, I will say the park ranger really seemed on the case when we told him we had been hit. Haven't heard back. Yeah, so you can't trust a park ranger. 00:05:57 Speaker 3: You can't trust a park ranger. 00:05:58 Speaker 2: Trust the Palm Springs Police Department. 00:06:00 Speaker 3: Well that I mean that seems obvious. I mean the Palm Springs Police Department feels like a volunteer organization, like it just theoretically someone yeah, like like elderly gay men, like giving them something to do, like they get it. Dressed up in like little cop costume. 00:06:17 Speaker 2: It did feel that way because like even to file the report, they said, will you send a self addressed stamp to envelope all kinds of things. 00:06:26 Speaker 3: A selfie and your favorite Sondheim song. It's just gay cakay. 00:06:36 Speaker 2: What have you been up to? 00:06:39 Speaker 3: Mostly hiking and palm springs, No lost lost? What am I doing? Well? I was in Georgia, where I'm from, for the holidays, and then I got back here and basically since i've been back, like I got I feel like I came back from a holidays like a week too early. And then there was that week where like nothing was happening and it was just like please kill me. And so there was like a week of like please kill me. And then this week I started writing I'm writing this. I do this podcast with my friend Cole Scola called Breakfast Buffets So good, thanks, and we are writing another batch of episodes. So we've been I was just doing that this morning right before I came here test and so we've we've been doing that all week and which is so fun. And yeah, so we're hoping I think we're hoping to have some new ones out in February. 00:07:27 Speaker 2: How do you like record those in batches? 00:07:29 Speaker 3: Yeah, we like, well we just kind of tried it out, like we basically this summer we were like hanging out on Fire Island and Cole had done uh, some live podcast somewhere and was like Jeffrey, like we were like two old men talking like we were like podcasts or where it's at, and so we were like, what is a podcast? We like desperately tried to figure out something that we could just like sit down and turn on mics and let the magic happen, but we could not figure that out. Uh, and so then we were like what if we just wrote something and now it's like super and now it's so much more work than it wil be, so a lot of writing and. 00:08:04 Speaker 2: Production, production, sound effects. 00:08:07 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's way more than we were planning on doing. So yeah, we wrote six like Cole just came out to La in the fall and we like wrote them and then we like tried to like do it as just like an outline and like riff, but like it just like was too meandering in bat So now it's like we just like sit down and like fully script them. So we did six and now we're going to do a batch of twelve. Oh, we're biting off more than we can chew. So that's kind of all I've been doing that. And then I'm writing this book. I'm doing like a book of essays that I sold, and I'm like sort of forcing myself to get that done, which is hard, like to actually want to like about yourself. Like fuck, I'm like so not into him to that guy. 00:08:48 Speaker 2: Have you done much personal writing? 00:08:50 Speaker 3: I'm not really. I mean, like you know, I mean I like blogged in the like when I was like twenty, but like, yeah, I don't, like I've never done like this kind of thing. 00:09:00 Speaker 2: No, I mean I'm the same blog Yeah. And then I did like do a lot of personal writing for a long time, and then Twitter came along, and then it was just like, well, I'll just do this. 00:09:10 Speaker 3: Are you still on Twitter? Oh? 00:09:12 Speaker 2: I mean the account is active and I tell people about the podcast. 00:09:15 Speaker 3: Okay, well that we're one step up for me. 00:09:18 Speaker 2: It's horrible. 00:09:18 Speaker 3: I mean it's horrible. I got rid of it though, like like while Obama was still president. 00:09:23 Speaker 2: Oh, like I am so jealous. 00:09:25 Speaker 3: I was like so done. I was so done with it, I cause I think I like it was a moment of like thinking about, oh my god, I'm sure I've just been so obnoxious on here, and like kind of was like going back through old tweets and was like this is nothing like offensive, but just like offensive to the senses, like just like what an annoying man? And so yeah, and so I was like, yeah, fuck, this the best decision in my life. I mean, I really want to get off Instagram. But I feel like that's like officially like full self sabotage to like having a career, to. 00:09:55 Speaker 2: Just vanish not on Facebook. I got on Facebook a long time. 00:09:59 Speaker 3: Yes, I got in like a fight with my brother, you know, and it was like, what are we doing? 00:10:03 Speaker 2: I think I got in a fight with a woman named Ashley and san Diego in a common section. 00:10:08 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, maybe that's who hit your car And. 00:10:11 Speaker 2: She came after me all these years later, and I think that was the final straw for me. I thought, I don't even know Ena was as h l. I was like, I don't know who this is. 00:10:20 Speaker 3: Yeah I can't do Like why am I wasted? What are we doing with our lives? Yeah? 00:10:23 Speaker 2: So I moved on. I do use my sister's account to get on Facebook marketplace on Acca. 00:10:27 Speaker 3: Sure. I mean when I'm home visiting my parents, like I have my mom's iPad and I'm on Facebook, like like it's going out of style and what are you doing on well? Because it's all like like people from my hometown. So it's all these like adult women that like were the moms at the swimming pool when I was growing up, and it's like, you know, what is Karen Bennett up to? You know, and what ChIL Terra's doing with other. 00:10:47 Speaker 2: Times are they posting like life updates? 00:10:50 Speaker 3: Some of them, my mom is kind of does life update. My mom is mostly just like missing dogs, like sharing like this dog is missing. That's that's like her brand. But then some of these gals are very political. My mom has like started to be like super political on there because she's like I'm a liberal and like I have a voice, and like she's gotten early into that and she gets in like full arguments like they live across the street from a Southern Baptist college or university excuse me, called Shorter University, and my mom it's just does not like their landscaping, and like she's taking out all of her political frustrations on the landscaping crew or the lack thereof of the shorter university, and so that's that's the bulk of it. And but it's I mean it is. I think if I could just do Facebook and it just be women over fifty in my hometown, like that would be great. But it's kind of impossible to get to do that because you just inevitably end up somewhere else. 00:11:57 Speaker 2: Right, I guess that's a creating a fake profile is the only way. 00:12:02 Speaker 3: So yeah, but like then what are you doing with your life? Right? Are you? Who are you? You got a lot to im back there. 00:12:09 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's all terrible, and we all know what's horrible, but there's no say do you do be real? 00:12:15 Speaker 3: No, I have it. My niece showed me that over the holidays, and some guy I fucked in the fall who was probably her age, showed it to me before that, and uh, I don't, I don't. I don't want to be doing that. No, I don't do that. I don't do I have TikTok, but only to watch ros O Donald. That's it. Cole was like, they like TikTok a lot, and I was like, I don't think I like it, and Cole's like, if you get it learns what you like, like, you just have to like, you know, really engage with it and then it will eventually know what you like. And so I tried that for a week and I didn't know what I like except for Rosio Donald and so I follow Rosio Donald on TikTok. But that is that's where that's it, that's all I have, that's all I have it for. 00:12:58 Speaker 2: Yeah, I've tried to re le and it was just like I realized the why I was watching this because everything I watched was so unsatisfying that I kept watching. It was like digging. 00:13:08 Speaker 3: She was great on there because she's like basically doing like I don't know if you were during the early days of the pandemic. She was like doing these like long Instagram lives where she would just sort of talk answer questions and they're so compelling because she's just so compelling, and she has a podcast I think about to start. I think I just read that true. I think I read that somewhere. But so basically the TikTok is that she just has like Wednesday Ramble and literally it's like a four minute thing and I'm just devastated when it's over every time, fully devastated. 00:13:38 Speaker 2: Were you a big watcher of the roseo Donald. 00:13:41 Speaker 3: I'm she is, like, I'm deeply deeply obsessed with her. But the issue is I'm also deeply obsessed with whoopee. That's it's tough, you know, divorce. But I can love them both, and I think they're both very very special. 00:13:56 Speaker 2: Both incredible truly, and the view will tell tear anyone apart. 00:14:00 Speaker 3: The view will will show you the worst sides of yourself you didn't know existed. 00:14:04 Speaker 2: Looking into an evil mirror. Yeah, oh boy, Well the view hiking in Palm Springs. 00:14:10 Speaker 3: Barbara Walters is dead? Is gone? Do you think she just now died? 00:14:17 Speaker 2: Happen how long ago? 00:14:19 Speaker 3: I feel like, not crazy long ago. I feel like before the holidays, and they were like, let's wait and talk for the holidays. 00:14:25 Speaker 2: We don't want to ruin Christmas. 00:14:26 Speaker 3: Well, they also we want to do like a we want to do a special link. I think it was like an ABC News decision. 00:14:32 Speaker 2: Interesting, I think, so, how do you keep that from leaking? 00:14:35 Speaker 3: I mean, she hasn't been I don't think she's been seen or photographed since like before the pandemic so like, so it could go back that far. Yeah, I mean, I hope that's not true. I mean I hope. I want to believe that she saw COVID happen and that she saw Trump win, Like these are things I want to have happened for her, because she's seen so much other history, and it's like to be like at the end of her life, like what the fuck is going on? Like truly, I'm out, Like that would be a good time if you're like that old to be like, Okay, I'm gonna die. I'm not missing anything, Like I don't want to be a part of this. 00:15:12 Speaker 2: Yeah, the house is on fire exactly. 00:15:15 Speaker 3: But I do think maybe she died around Thanksgiving. 00:15:20 Speaker 2: Thanksgiving was a big day for a lot of us. I should have kept my car accident to secret. 00:15:26 Speaker 3: Until exactly precisely. Maybe that's what the Ranger's been dealing with, is when to release the news that Barbara Walters is dead. And now that he's done it, he's going to get back to you. It's like, all right, sorry, I've been swamped with barbs, trying to dissuade people from believing Barbara Walters is dead. 00:15:45 Speaker 2: Just trying to plug the holes in the leak. Oh, well, there's something I want to talk to you about. I asked you to be on this podcast in the last few weeks, in the last few weeks, and I was so excited that you agreed. 00:15:57 Speaker 3: Thanks. I was excited you asked me. 00:15:59 Speaker 2: You know, I thought you have is terrific, so funny. We're gonna have a good time. Yeah, and then, of course a lot of things have happened since then. My home has nearly been swept away. 00:16:08 Speaker 3: Yeah. Your car has been. 00:16:10 Speaker 2: The cat of your car. 00:16:12 Speaker 3: I feel like you. I feel you have been going through it. 00:16:14 Speaker 2: I have been going through it. 00:16:16 Speaker 3: And everybody knows that. Everybody's been talking about it. It's all. It's all they'll talk about on the view. Might be real. And to be real with you, I brought you a gift. 00:16:27 Speaker 2: Which is, yeah, another devastating blow. 00:16:30 Speaker 3: Well, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. It's a beauty. It's wrapped beautiful in a gorgeous bag. Beautiful. It's like a it's kind of a plat, it's like a doctor Susian platz. 00:16:40 Speaker 2: I would almost say it's a Rosio o'donald show style back. 00:16:42 Speaker 3: Gary Rosio O'donald's show. It really is yes, John mcdee. So this is, uh, this is something that I thought you could use, but now hearing about what you've been going through since Thanksgiving, I don't know if you're gonna be able to use it. 00:16:58 Speaker 2: Is there a fuzzy die? But you Okay? Should I open it here on the podcast? 00:17:04 Speaker 3: Is that? Is that? I think? I think so, I think I should do that. Why not? Is that ghost? 00:17:09 Speaker 2: I think we've got the time. 00:17:10 Speaker 3: I think we have the time. 00:17:11 Speaker 2: I'm curious interest. 00:17:13 Speaker 3: Yeah exactly, I mean I I don't I don't want to derail you know, your show, but I think I do think you could use a little sounds like, you know. 00:17:21 Speaker 2: Pick me up, pick me up. 00:17:23 Speaker 3: And hopefully this is something that you'll be able to use eventually down the road. 00:17:31 Speaker 2: Okay, well I'm gonna word road. It's a tank of gas. 00:17:38 Speaker 3: Floor light up. 00:17:55 Speaker 2: Okay, let's get into it here. 00:17:57 Speaker 3: I've got some cling to love that love a crinkle tissue. 00:18:02 Speaker 2: Crinkle crinkle, And now I'm going to lift out that this is a car. 00:18:08 Speaker 3: I really didn't know your car. It was in the shop. I could have brought you something to clean up your basement if i'd known. So this is a clean Shine protect Complete Car Care gift. 00:18:24 Speaker 2: Pack from the great people at Armorole. 00:18:26 Speaker 3: From Armoroll who we all we trust, we trust with our with our damn lives. I don't know, you know what what part of your car is hit? 00:18:36 Speaker 2: The driver's side passenger door door. 00:18:39 Speaker 3: Is it a scratch or is it a debt? 00:18:41 Speaker 2: It's a real dent with a hole in it. I don't I can't imagine what they did. 00:18:44 Speaker 3: Well, I don't know if maybe if we could jump on a time machine and you could cover that door in Armorole original protectant spray. It fights fading, aging and get ready cracking. Yeah, so I bet if you would say and that one it's like in a little spray bottle. And I think if you had done that, maybe you could have avoided what you what happened. Now, when you get the car back, I'm gonna recommend you, you know, carve out a few hours of your day and grab yourself a washcloth or towel of your of your own choosing, and then you're going to use some Armorole Ultra shine wash and wax. Now that'll that'll get that door looking brand new, which sounds like you are gonna have to get a brand new door. 00:19:35 Speaker 2: I am. I think it's just completely replacing the door. 00:19:38 Speaker 3: Hey, anything happened to the glass? 00:19:39 Speaker 2: Nothing happened to the glass? 00:19:41 Speaker 3: Well good because also included in this is a pack of Armorole glass wipes, and there's in this particular thing they are telling you us there are twenty percent more I don't know than. 00:19:54 Speaker 2: What well I'm used to less. Yes, is going to be good startling in. 00:19:58 Speaker 3: One more question for you? Does your car have tires? 00:20:01 Speaker 2: My car has four of them, okay, and a spare Well. I don't want to brag. 00:20:06 Speaker 3: You're in luck, my friend, because we also have in this complete care package from Armarole tire foam. It is touchless, powerful cleansing it and it conditions and guess what, babe, it restores the deep black look. 00:20:30 Speaker 2: I love that rich inky black tires. 00:20:33 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah. Don't you hate when you see tires that are not fully black. 00:20:38 Speaker 2: Just chalky tires. I won't be seen in one. I won't look at one. But the touchless do you just kind of breeze by the car while spraying and it's taken care of. 00:20:47 Speaker 3: Like close your eyes, thrown over your shoulder kind of thing? And I mean they don't, they don't advertise. Oh, I guess they do advertise this because it says only four items bonus four pack air fresheners. Now these are in your air vent. These are good. I don't know what they smell like. 00:21:05 Speaker 2: I have to imagine it's a nice clean, neutral, evergreen or like bubblegunt that Never it doesn't me, No, no, it doesn't work for me. 00:21:18 Speaker 3: Anyway. It's very heavy, isn't it. 00:21:20 Speaker 2: Well, it's four different products. 00:21:21 Speaker 3: It's different products, plus those those airstrips. So I mean, when are you expecting to. 00:21:26 Speaker 2: Get this car back tomorrow? I think, oh my god, if the auto body's shop is truthful, they said Friday, potentially Monday, which would be devastating. 00:21:37 Speaker 3: You you had a Have you had like a rental? 00:21:39 Speaker 2: No, because I of course I got the cheapest insurance that doesn't offer a rental. 00:21:44 Speaker 3: But like, where do you have to go? 00:21:46 Speaker 2: That's I'm really discovering almost nowhere. Nowhere I do one go? 00:21:50 Speaker 3: No one needs to go anywhere, No one, Like we should all get rid of our cars. I mean, don't tell that to armor all, because they've got a lot of products. 00:21:57 Speaker 2: Apparently, what would we be cleaning? 00:21:58 Speaker 3: But I don't think I'm I don't. I don't need to go anywhere. I don't want to go anywhere. 00:22:02 Speaker 2: I go on walks. 00:22:03 Speaker 3: Yeah, same, I. 00:22:04 Speaker 2: Love I like when I want lunch, I go on walk. I mean my boyfriend has been farrying me about Oh that's okay. 00:22:10 Speaker 3: So you have you have a way right? And do you have you ever heard of Uber? 00:22:14 Speaker 2: I've heard of the Uber program. 00:22:16 Speaker 3: They that's like they'll come. It's crazy. They'll come pick you up in their car. 00:22:21 Speaker 2: What you get in it will be a bubblegum air fresh. 00:22:25 Speaker 3: Absolutely, and then they'll drive you basically anywhere you asked. 00:22:29 Speaker 2: Wow, this is incredible. 00:22:30 Speaker 3: You have to text it to them though. You have to text you want to go un Yeah, I I I didn't. Oggie and I shared a car for like two years and I was absolutely fine with that. 00:22:43 Speaker 2: Was it ever a source of tension? 00:22:45 Speaker 3: I mean it was like I feel like it was like we would let it be. We would let out tension about other stuff and like put it on the car. 00:22:52 Speaker 2: Oh, it's a great value. 00:22:53 Speaker 3: We would like project you know, issues onto like well, I want the car today, and it's like where are you going? And it's like, uh, Target in al Hambro because it's a good one, like I guess, but now we have two, and uh, you know, I still don't need to go anywhere. This is Los Angeles. I mean, what do you do all day? 00:23:16 Speaker 2: Nothing? When I need to go somewhere, I'm essentially inventing a. 00:23:21 Speaker 3: I mean I literally go to Target, not every day, but close to it. 00:23:24 Speaker 2: Are you going to the al Hamber Target? I do go to the help Okay, I'm going to Eagle Rock one. 00:23:27 Speaker 3: I like that one. I don't like a two floor Target. I don't like it. I hate I hate a lot of things about that Target. I don't like that weird mall that's attached to it. I love them all that place creeps me out. I don't know, I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't want Target because Target, to me, should not. I don't have anything problem, like no problems with malls. I just don't think Target should be affiliated with a ma all. 00:23:46 Speaker 2: What about a mall with a church, which this one has, Well. 00:23:49 Speaker 3: All malls have churches these days. I mean that's just the state of retail. But I don't think I I just I personally don't think that a Target should be on stand alone in a shopping strip, big open parking lot. It should be a flat, open floor plan, not some fucking escalator in the middle of the thing where you put the cart on that weird thing in the middle that takes it down. I do not like that. I don't and I don't like. I never know where anything is in that Target, like certain things that should be upstairs or downstairs, and sure certain things that are downstairs should be upstairs. And it's just it's not for me. I don't like that one. I do I'll have. Everyone's good and there's one. I mean if you really want to like fill your day, which is often what I want to do. The San Gabriel one, Oh is quite good. 00:24:35 Speaker 2: It's better than Alhembro. 00:24:36 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:24:37 Speaker 3: I like the layout and I like the parking situation there. 00:24:43 Speaker 2: I mean, this is very I assume Georgia, like, yeah, I mean I lived in. 00:24:48 Speaker 3: New York, That's all. I was, like, I gotta get out of here because I miss like shopping strips, like where you can park and. 00:24:54 Speaker 2: You just pull you know there's gonna be a parking spot. 00:24:57 Speaker 3: But yeah, I mean Target, if there were as many Targets as there are in Los Angeles, I truly don't know what I would do with my time. I don't know what, like, I really don't. I guess I would like have a hobby or something, but I don't want to get involved in that. 00:25:10 Speaker 2: Browsing Target is my hobby. 00:25:12 Speaker 3: It's wonderful. It's I get my steps in. You know, he gets my school supplies. 00:25:18 Speaker 2: Yeah, I get essentially everything. There are times when I go there knowing full well I'll probably leave with nothing. Oh yeah, oh yeah, except for a sense of calm. 00:25:27 Speaker 3: Exactly. Do you buy candles there? 00:25:29 Speaker 2: I don't buy. Are they good candles? 00:25:31 Speaker 3: You know? For the price, they're pretty good? Okay, they're not. I mean they're not like we're not talking to like dip teak quality, right, But there if you want a twenty dollars candle, say you're throwing a dinner party and you know, oh god, they're going to be here in three hours, and I burned my last nice candle last night and I and I need to buy some. 00:25:49 Speaker 2: You know, I've got to cover this mo. 00:25:51 Speaker 3: Yeah exactly, then stop by. I think it's a good they're good. The candle section in the Eagle Rock Target is upstairs, something that should be down. It just does it make. 00:26:03 Speaker 2: It's more grocery adjacent than clothing. 00:26:06 Speaker 3: Why are the groceries downstairs? Like that doesn't make sense. I guess people are parking. There's that lower level parking, which I've never been in. 00:26:13 Speaker 2: Oh, that's where I always go. I go down, don't want down the shute. Are you right into parking? 00:26:17 Speaker 3: You're not getting any sunlight? 00:26:19 Speaker 2: I have to avoid the You're very far. 00:26:20 Speaker 3: Yeah, your very fair skin. 00:26:22 Speaker 2: I can't get a second in the sun. 00:26:24 Speaker 3: I bet you are. You just get really burnt. 00:26:27 Speaker 2: I get so burned. 00:26:28 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm pretty burnt, but you I see I feel like yeah. 00:26:31 Speaker 2: I mean, up until probably twenty years old, once a year, just full sunburn. Yeah, because same. I mean, have you gotten better about this? I'm so good at it now. I mean I also just don't do outdoor activities anymore. 00:26:42 Speaker 3: Except for apparently palm springs and go on walks. Yeah that's right walking. Yeah. 00:26:48 Speaker 2: But other than that, I'm very careful about being outside, and I'm always you know, putting on the sunscrew. 00:26:53 Speaker 3: Well then, I guess actually, then in that case, that target is made for you. 00:26:56 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's kind of a I go into the dungeon in. 00:26:58 Speaker 3: The dungeon and you pick up whatever you need and you don't buy your groceries there, do. 00:27:03 Speaker 2: You I buy? I don't buy that many. Well, this is something that about me. I don't cook, so I barely buy any groceries. Bacon goods with bake Oh yeah. 00:27:12 Speaker 3: Oh so that's interesting to see if that feels so much more work than. 00:27:16 Speaker 2: I don't Well, I think it's more following directions, certainly, sure, but it's I would say it's less work in general. There's not a lot of chopping. There's not a lot of you know, heating the thing up in the pan and then having to put another thing in the pan and then it got the I don't do. 00:27:32 Speaker 3: I don't really cook either, but I also I very much don't bathe. 00:27:35 Speaker 2: You don't make at all. 00:27:35 Speaker 3: I do weirdly buy a lot of groceries though, and I don't I don't quite know what I'm buying. 00:27:39 Speaker 2: Are They like snacks and sacks. 00:27:41 Speaker 3: And Target is my is my favorite snacks. Their trail mix selection, I mean the price alone, they're like under ten dollars. It's like a full like gallon of trail mix. You go to like Trader Joe's and you want to buy trail mix, which their trail milk sucks. It's like you're paying like ten dollar. You're paying ten dollars like a little baggy of it. It's so stupid. But no, the Target, the peanut butter pretzels at Target like five bucks for like a giant thing that like it will last you. 00:28:08 Speaker 2: I don't like the look of the giant. 00:28:10 Speaker 3: Oh, you put them in your here, here's what you do. You put them in your cabinet. But when you want to have them at night, you get a nice bowl. You put them in the bowl and then you put that thing back in it and you forget that it was in there. You just don't think about it. And the same with a trail mix. 00:28:21 Speaker 2: What are they putting in their trail mix. 00:28:23 Speaker 3: Well, they've got different options. They've got the Monster Trail Mix, which is quite good. That's more of a traditional trail mix, like. 00:28:29 Speaker 2: A monster cookie. 00:28:30 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's you know peanut you know Minem's peanuts, regular chocolate, Eminem's raisins. Do some cashews in that one? I think? 00:28:40 Speaker 1: Uh? 00:28:40 Speaker 3: Now, the one I love the most is the Peanut Butter Monster. 00:28:43 Speaker 2: Okay, now that is very special. 00:28:46 Speaker 3: It is the Eminem's are the peanut butter kind of eminems? 00:28:49 Speaker 2: Oh wow, but an off brand. 00:28:52 Speaker 3: I don't know the I don't know what their their partnership is. 00:28:56 Speaker 2: Mars think that there's a peanut butter minem out there that doesn't have the official branding. 00:29:02 Speaker 3: That's I assume, Yeah, and then obviously peanuts and then raisins. But then they've got these like peanut butter covered like almost like like malt balls or something. Oh, they're so good. And then they've got like four other kinds of trail mix that are probably healthier, but I've never bought those. 00:29:19 Speaker 2: Well I need to check that out. Yeah, I mean I I've probably said this before, but like with a trail mix, I'm frequently just eating the M and m's covered in salt. 00:29:27 Speaker 3: Sure, but you can chinda convince yourself it's something, right. 00:29:31 Speaker 2: But I feel like Eminem's. Why is there not just as salted M and M at this point. 00:29:34 Speaker 3: Well, they've got the pretzel minem now salt. I don't want that. 00:29:37 Speaker 2: I want a full salt layer. 00:29:39 Speaker 3: I fully agree, I flutely agree. Do you do. My husband likes to put the Eminem's in the popcorn at the movie. I think that's scartest. 00:29:47 Speaker 2: I don't think it actually does that much. 00:29:49 Speaker 3: Well, didn't they like get melty and then you get like popcorn? It's like, why is there there's like green rubbing on my popcorn? I don't want that. 00:29:55 Speaker 2: Your hands are covered ink. It's disgusting. 00:29:58 Speaker 3: I don't know if that's a British thing. 00:29:59 Speaker 2: Maybe I feel like that's a I can't imagine the British invented that. I feel it's America. 00:30:05 Speaker 3: You're right. 00:30:05 Speaker 2: I mean it does taste good, let's be honest, But I barely eat popcorn at the theater anyway. Yeah, I'm not a big popcorn of the theater eater. 00:30:14 Speaker 3: I am. I don't even like popcorn that much, But I'm interesting. It just feels it just goes something to do with your with your hands while you're watching the movie. 00:30:22 Speaker 2: Have you been to Avatar? 00:30:23 Speaker 3: No? 00:30:24 Speaker 2: I haven't. 00:30:25 Speaker 3: It wouldn't be less of my thing. 00:30:26 Speaker 2: I feel like I have to. I feel like it's I don't. 00:30:29 Speaker 3: I don't. I put my foot down with that kind of shit. I'm not what three and a half hours? 00:30:34 Speaker 2: I know. 00:30:35 Speaker 3: That's the one thing about it that is appealing is someone told me that Sigourney Weaver plays a teenager. I know that's what I but if someone would just like edit that together for me as a teen yeah, I don't or like maybe like i'd go see her in a play as a teenager, but I don't want to see I don't think it goes through that movie. I did see the original, I guess, but I don't remember anything about it except not enjoying it. And it's just so not my kind of thing. I don't get into, Like I don't really like sci fi. 00:31:02 Speaker 2: Oh sure, so that's a real problem for you. I feel like, if I could convince myself to get into the theater, I would at least enjoy the roller coaster aspect of it. 00:31:10 Speaker 3: I know what you mean. There's something about like, okay, that sounds cool visual, but three D gives me a headache, Like I have to wear glasses. 00:31:17 Speaker 2: I've my grain scalore. 00:31:18 Speaker 3: Yeah, same, and I don't want to for three and a half hours. I would one throw up. There's no question whatsoever that that's an experience at the movie, I guess, But like you know, I'd rather throw up watching you know eighty for Brady with Jane Fond and Lily tom One. And I do plan on throwing up when I see that. 00:31:35 Speaker 2: That movie is probably twenty five minutes long. 00:31:37 Speaker 3: It better be I mean, not a minute more. I mean it does. It just does look like a pilot that didn't get picked up. That they were just like, sure, just put it in the movie theater. Nobody'll nobody'll know how long it is. 00:31:48 Speaker 2: The thing about that movie is they're advertising Tom Brady as an actor in the film, but in the in the trailer, the only acting he does is yell on the field. Like they caught that bit of footage. 00:31:58 Speaker 3: I think, and I think they have like a moment where they meet him, and that's and I think that's it because Jane I ran an interview with Jane Fonda where she was like, when I met Tom Brady, I fell to my knees. She says, be careful, you can yourself baby kon. Well, sorry, I hit the Rosie O'donnald show plaid. 00:32:18 Speaker 2: We do have to get a picture of this bag for the listener. It's so I really nailed it. I'm gonna it is. It's a great give myself that. 00:32:24 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a great bag. But yeah, I have no interest in Avatar, but I am genuinely very excited for eighty for Brady. 00:32:30 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, of course. 00:32:31 Speaker 3: But also I don't know the plot, But how are those ladies supposed to know? Are they all supposed to be the same age? Like Reen Mirana's like ninety seven, Sally Field is like fifty nine, you know. 00:32:43 Speaker 2: What I mean, Like Sallyfield is she's like she's thirty eight. 00:32:46 Speaker 3: But there's like Sallyfield's, you know, perky sixteen. But no, ages are so across the board. It's very peculiar. I mean, I I don't think it's like in book Club because in book Club they were all supposed to have gone toe together. Book Club, well, like Mary Steambergen and Jane Conder is supposed to be the same age, and it's no, that's just simply not the case. And it's those two and then Diane Keaton and Kandice Bergen. 00:33:14 Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, that's kind of all across the board. 00:33:16 Speaker 3: That's all across the board. And I mean it's a great movie, but it's all across. 00:33:20 Speaker 2: The I mean the movie that was the most egregious offender of that sort of thing for me was the movie where Laura Dern played Reese Witherspoon's mom. 00:33:28 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, what is that? 00:33:29 Speaker 2: It's a hiking one is that? 00:33:31 Speaker 3: What is that called wild? 00:33:32 Speaker 2: Wild? I was gonna say cruise. What does that have to do with the movie. 00:33:38 Speaker 3: I'd love to see a movie of those two on a cruise. Of course, have you seen that movie? Let Them All Talk? And Diane West and again Miss Candy Bergen all are on on a cruise going from It's like it's written by Deborah Eisenberg. I think she's married to Wallace Sean. Oh describing someone by who they're married. Course, But she's like a brilliant writer. She oddly enough did a role on Search Party and she played one of my moms. Oh, you're kidding, But she wrote this film and it's so like it's that kind of thing. But it's like really smartly written and like Steven Soderberg directed it. 00:34:16 Speaker 2: Oh that sounds fun. 00:34:17 Speaker 3: It's really beautiful. It's like this author, MARYL. Street Place is like a steamed author and she has to go to England or something, to Europe to an exception award or something, and she doesn't want to fly. 00:34:27 Speaker 2: I think, well it's eighteen forty. 00:34:30 Speaker 3: Yeah, they take this boat and they're like on a luxury cruise. It's wonderful. What's his name, Hedges, Lucas Hedges is in it. 00:34:37 Speaker 2: I don't know him. I don't know celebrities. 00:34:39 Speaker 3: He's like a young cutie. Okay, that's sounds like a young young cute boys. 00:34:42 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a. 00:34:43 Speaker 3: It's a. It is a wonderful movie. I watch it pretty much anytime I'm on an airplane. I've probably seen that movie like thirty times, and I never get sick of it. It's beautiful, I will say. 00:34:54 Speaker 2: When you said the title, and there was a split second when I thought the movie was let the mall talk like the the all chopping malls. 00:35:03 Speaker 3: Movie too. Sorry, I'm playing with my tooth because I this morning, I so I have a temporary crown one and it fell out this morning. 00:35:11 Speaker 2: Oh you're kidding, So what is it? Do you just have glue on it right now? 00:35:14 Speaker 3: I glued it back on. I called the dentist like in it like like panic. It was like, you know, because they have you, you have to wait, they have to make the room. And I called and was like it's like I was worried. It was like going to get infected. But then they're like, oh no, you can just slide it on and off, and I was like wait what Oh, and then I just like all morning played with that. Of course, yeah, but then I tried to eat something and it was like, well, that's not going to work. And so then I went and bought denture glue and I have it glued in. 00:35:41 Speaker 2: How much of your tooth does it cover? 00:35:43 Speaker 3: It's so I broke out my front tooth like over twelve years ago, and so there's and there's only like a little bit of it left. And so then there was a crown on it, and like slowly over the years the crown was like getting like wearing down or something because they used some sort of like it was really chick whatever I did, and paper mache and uh. And so there's only a little bit of it left. Oh wow, it's so weird. It's it's weird looking actually your picture. 00:36:09 Speaker 2: Yeah, I would love to see this too, a picture of it before I. 00:36:13 Speaker 3: I glued it back. Did you I glued it amazing myself. 00:36:19 Speaker 2: Wow, that's incredible. I think you should just get a thing where you can pull it on. 00:36:24 Speaker 3: And all Carls Rogers said, he was Charles thinks it's sexy, and I gotta agree, it's if you're into that kind of thing. 00:36:29 Speaker 2: It's I mean, it's a prospect or, it's a pirate. 00:36:32 Speaker 3: And it makes your voice have this nice whistle. Oh yeah, and it's really cute. I think it's like, Katie. 00:36:39 Speaker 2: How did you break your tooth? 00:36:41 Speaker 3: An ex boyfriend I had just moved to l A and I mean literally I was we were like I was tickling him and he from behind and he had butted into my broke my two thought. And I didn't have insurance or anything at the time, and I was like, I'd like just moved to la It was fucking awful. I was to shoot something like a guest spot on Shameless the next week, and so I had to like it was just it was truly a horrible ordeal. But yeah, and now twelve years. 00:37:10 Speaker 2: Later, we're here, we are dealing with it again. 00:37:12 Speaker 3: We are again. 00:37:13 Speaker 2: Oh dental, I have dental issues galore. It's just NonStop for me. I've got a filling headed my I think, actually, when does this episode air on the day you're getting your film? I think it might do you get your You're getting a new filing I'm getting h February second. As the listener listens to this episode, I am strapped in. They're grinding away. 00:37:36 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm doing what so far, so good. 00:37:42 Speaker 2: The dentist is strutting over the U. 00:37:45 Speaker 3: The dentist isn't a pair of high heels and has a whip. 00:37:49 Speaker 2: And but that what an interesting coincidence. 00:37:53 Speaker 3: Yeah, teeth are falling out the world. The world's ending on. Our teeth are falling out. 00:37:59 Speaker 2: My mouth will be numb for the next seven hours. 00:38:02 Speaker 3: I kind of like the dentist. 00:38:04 Speaker 2: I don't. I have a very unco I mean, this is no big revelations like. 00:38:10 Speaker 3: I'm quirky, I don't like the dentists a little thing about me. 00:38:12 Speaker 2: I'm gonna make that my personality. 00:38:14 Speaker 3: I actually kind of like it, which I guess is even more annoying that it's like I'm someone who likes going to the dentist, but I do kind of. I do kind of like it about it. Do you enjoy like that water tube? 00:38:23 Speaker 2: Well, I do enjoy the water tube before, like. 00:38:25 Speaker 3: The suction tube when they're both in there. Like I like wearing the goggles. I like how heavy it's. Probably I should probably just buy a weighted blanket and a water bottle and a straw, But I like that. Why those are nice. I like the way that thing that they put over you feels. I like it. I just like it. 00:38:45 Speaker 2: What about the X ray part where you have to kind of like carefully bite that. 00:38:49 Speaker 3: I kind of like that. We have to bite on like I don't know what that thing is. It's like a plastic key kind of feels like you're chewing on like like like the plastic packaging of an action. 00:38:58 Speaker 2: Figure, right or like the vampire teeth. 00:39:02 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, which is basically what I'm wearing right now. Yeah. 00:39:06 Speaker 2: I mean, I will say I do like you know, when they ask me to do something such as bite down on it and they say good or I'm complimented, like it feels good. 00:39:15 Speaker 3: Job, yeah, all right, great. And it's weird when they're telling you you're doing something wrong too. 00:39:19 Speaker 2: Oh it's so disheartening. 00:39:21 Speaker 3: But I do. I like it. I I need to get my wisdom teeth out and I'll be like a pig and shit. 00:39:27 Speaker 2: Are you gonna have to be completely put out? 00:39:30 Speaker 3: I hope. So. I don't know how that works. I will. 00:39:32 Speaker 2: I think some people do it while awake. 00:39:34 Speaker 3: I've never been put under. 00:39:36 Speaker 2: It's amazing. 00:39:37 Speaker 3: I feel like, see that's the thing is I think I'm going to become one of those people that like get surgery all the time, to just go under all. 00:39:42 Speaker 2: The time, completely transform yourself, not because you're a want to have a physical. 00:39:47 Speaker 3: Change, just because I like the dry it's real. 00:39:49 Speaker 2: I mean, it's just fascinating to have that part of your life vanish. 00:39:52 Speaker 3: Yeah that's interesting. 00:39:53 Speaker 2: You wake up and you're out of your mind. I mean, yeah, but then the wisdom teeth thing you're stuck in bed. They Yeah, there's something about dry sockets wet sockets that sounds cross to me. 00:40:04 Speaker 3: I don't like that. Yeah, I don't like the idea of the healing process. 00:40:07 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the idea of like your gums slowly closing over. The hole in your face is not. 00:40:13 Speaker 3: No, it's not a great it's not great. It's not like it's not a walk in the park. 00:40:17 Speaker 2: I don't know why. I mean, they should put something else there for it to grow over, like an additional a little a little piece of furniture, clounger, I don't know, a little net to catch food. There are some. I mean, I'm just thinking of the idea. I'm not a dental expert. Well, it's so exciting for the listener to know that I'm currently. 00:40:42 Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree, I mean, what right. 00:40:45 Speaker 2: I hope it does too. 00:40:46 Speaker 3: I hope it's not like a. 00:40:49 Speaker 2: I die during it. 00:40:50 Speaker 3: And like they play this and it's like really cryptic and they play this on the news. The first man I get hugely famous from it. 00:41:01 Speaker 2: I'm happy to send you skyrocketing. 00:41:03 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like, who's who is he? He's the guy that like really blew up from from you know, the guy died on the po He died from dental surgery after he talked about it on the podcast. So he was the guest. 00:41:16 Speaker 2: Yeah, there's no legacy that I would be happier to leave on earth. 00:41:19 Speaker 3: He has his own showing stars. 00:41:21 Speaker 2: Now they're rebooting Shameless, he's finally going back. Oh wow, what a life we're both living. 00:41:30 Speaker 3: Oh my god. 00:41:32 Speaker 2: We haven't even really talked about. Do you wash your are you? I don't ever wash my car. 00:41:36 Speaker 3: I love taking my car to the car wash, but I I. 00:41:39 Speaker 2: Can't remember the last time I washed the car in the driveway. 00:41:41 Speaker 3: I mean probably as a kid with my dad. My dad's really into washing cars too. It's like it's all it's all about it. 00:41:47 Speaker 2: Once a week. 00:41:48 Speaker 3: Yeah, oh yeah, their cars are so clean, but they don't watch the inside, and they're like, Okay. 00:41:52 Speaker 2: We surprise, you're not willing to do the interior. 00:41:57 Speaker 3: Yeah, I will go months that without getting my car washed. I bought the car I'm driving right now, like two or three months ago, and I've never washed it. 00:42:08 Speaker 2: Almost exactly for me, November has not been washed yet. 00:42:11 Speaker 3: But I mean it's white, so it doesn't you can't really say, yeah, it just kind. 00:42:17 Speaker 2: Of kind of gets a little less white. 00:42:19 Speaker 3: I don't know, I don't I'm not a I don't know. I don't really care if my car is dirty. I don't want the inside to be dirty. I don't like it, like when it's stinky or like there's lots of stuff anything wet, food crumbs. I don't like that kind of thing. Like do you are you someone who like doesn't eat in your car? 00:42:36 Speaker 2: I don't eat in my car. Do not eat in your car? 00:42:38 Speaker 3: I'll eat my car. 00:42:39 Speaker 2: I mean I don't, like, I really never have a. 00:42:43 Speaker 3: In my car. 00:42:44 Speaker 2: Kidding like, I've never in such a rush that I need to eat in the car. 00:42:49 Speaker 3: Doesn't sound like either one of us are that busy. 00:42:54 Speaker 2: I mean, I'm absolutely ready to die no, Yeah, I can't remember the last time I ate in my car. I'll have like, do you know they're like. 00:43:04 Speaker 3: I love those refrigerated protein bars that are peanut butter. They have it Starbucks taste delicious, They're phenomenal. 00:43:12 Speaker 2: They're kind of just solidified peanut. 00:43:14 Speaker 3: Butter, precisely, and that's all I want out of life. And that you can actually buy them in packs at you know where, Target. Oh you're kidding, refrigerated section. Check it out. Okay, they got them at Sprouts too, but they are wonderful. So I like, I'll eat one of those in the car, Like I feel like my car has a lot of little peanut butter crumbs. 00:43:31 Speaker 2: Right, and I would eat something like that in the car. Scone's a bad ideas crumbs you'll be sitting in a pile of sawdust, so no time. 00:43:40 Speaker 3: Precisely. My car is also a convertible, so a lot of times things the crumbs blow out, so it kind of solves itself. 00:43:48 Speaker 2: How often do you have the top down? 00:43:50 Speaker 3: Pretty much? Never, don't. I mean, if it's if it's rainy and I'm not going to go anywhere, like there's no way I'm gonna if it's rainy in Los Angeles. There's no way I'm gonna like, I'll you forget it. I'm not like I'm not doing that. Whatever the plan is, I'm not doing it. So I even if it's cold, I like it down it's got like a heated seat and so like I turn that on, layer up, throwing a hat, throwing a scarf. I love it. Every so often. I will if I'm like I feel weird driving it. If I'm I like to listen to audiobooks, but I feel weird listening to audiobooks and a convertible. I just think it's like. 00:44:29 Speaker 2: Really lame, yeah, because everyone outside here. 00:44:31 Speaker 3: Is yeah, like listening to Berlin's Stories, Like that's literally what I'm currently listening to, and it's like Michael York reading Christopher Isherwood. Yeah, and it's like that's not that's not cool. So I don't. I'll I'll only listen to the audiobooks if the top is up, and otherwise I listen to music. But then I'm like weird. I'm like insecure about what music I listened to as well, because I'm like, I'm not gonna drive around listening to like show tunes, like that's not gonna happen, and so I'll like listen to like I'll like go to the iTunes thing and be like cool, this is like a new alternative album. I'll listen to that and like listen to it like for the whole drive and not enjoy it once. 00:45:06 Speaker 2: This is horrible day. You've got to overcome that psychological. 00:45:11 Speaker 3: I just need to not have a convertible. 00:45:12 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, was it like an exciting goal to get a convertible. 00:45:16 Speaker 3: No, it's not even that. It's not like a fancy one either. It's like an old one. But I I bought a Mazda Miata from like nineteen ninety when I first early on in my life in LA and it was really fun. I loved that I got it on Craigslist for like nine hundred dollars. It was like it was truly a piecer shit. It would die all the time. Literally, it would like one day on the freeway like it just like the engine exploded. It was like that. It was a horrible car, so dangerous, but I loved it. And then ever since that, I didn't have it, and then like for like ten years and then we were gonna get a second car, and I was like it's gonna be. 00:45:49 Speaker 2: A convertible, like you can't go back to a roof. 00:45:52 Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't really love LA, but I feel like having a convertible in LA makes it a little bit less off. 00:46:00 Speaker 2: All right, you get like the at least the kind of dream experience. 00:46:04 Speaker 3: I guess what you're supposed to be doing. 00:46:05 Speaker 2: When you've got a scarf and hat off, driving through fifty degree. 00:46:08 Speaker 3: With you listening listening to Matthew Perry blaring Matthew Perry's memoir about alcoholism. 00:46:16 Speaker 2: Oh okay, well, I think it's time to play a game. 00:46:20 Speaker 3: Let's play a game, Jesus. 00:46:23 Speaker 2: Okay, we're gonna play Gift or a curse. Okay, I'll tell you how we play in a moment, but I need a number between one and ten from you. 00:46:30 Speaker 3: Six. Okay. 00:46:30 Speaker 2: I have to do some light calculating. 00:46:33 Speaker 3: Okay. 00:46:33 Speaker 2: So while I calculate, you can promote something, recommend something, just talk to the listener, do whatever you want. 00:46:38 Speaker 3: All right, Well, good luck with you're calculating. I would love to tell you to only go for those peanut butter protein bars, not the peanut butter with the chocolate chips. That's a sham. That's a scam. It's not. That's it's not worth it. So if you go to Starbucks and you're like, hey, can I get the peanut butter, especially in the driver, can I get the peanut butter protein? And you get up there and they give you the one with chocolate chips and be like absolutely not, absolutely not that is that is not what we are doing. We are doing traditional peanut butter. I don't even know what they're called the perfect bar. That's what they're called the perfect bar. And if you read on the back, the recipe came from whoever owns the company's dad because he his life goal was to make the perfect protein bar. And you know what he succeeded. 00:47:28 Speaker 2: What an incredible They should send you a box. 00:47:31 Speaker 3: I agree, I want to get something. I want to get sponsored by them and car Heart oh and who else would I like to sponsor me? Just like happiness. 00:47:47 Speaker 2: Just like a meat, feeling of fulfillment, good mood, every so often, a lack of emptiness. Okay, this is how we play gift to a curse. I'm going to name three things you're going to tell me if they're a or a curse. 00:48:00 Speaker 3: That like calculating, you just had to do. You get to count to three? Take that long. I haven't. 00:48:05 Speaker 2: No, I have a a Google doc that is an absolute swamp of text. At this point, I have to go through random I use the number six to randomize the thing I get for you. Sure, but this is what's gonna happen. I'm gonna name the three things. You tell me if there gift or a curson, why, I'll tell you if you're right or wrong. There are objectively correct answers here. Okay, so you could totally lose the game. 00:48:30 Speaker 3: I absolutely could. 00:48:32 Speaker 2: So best of what? Okay? This first one is from a listener named Megan. Megan has suggested gift or a curse. People singing in parentheses, not humming along to the background music at stores. 00:48:48 Speaker 3: Hmm, I I'm gonna say a curse. I don't. I don't entirely mind that, but I don't want to hear a random person saying, like if I want to hear somebody saying I'm gonna go see a Broadway musical, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna walk around Target and you know, hope for somebody in the pencil aisle to be a mezzo soprano. I don't want that. I don't want that out of here. 00:49:18 Speaker 2: That Jeffrey, Yeah wrong, Oh no, I give how is that again? What a beautiful little surprise in the grocery store. Imagine you're walking down the aisle, you feel like you're all alone, and suddenly there's a haunting melody coming from the other side, some beautiful ain't the voice of an angel? 00:49:36 Speaker 3: And she's like, can't read my, can read my? 00:49:40 Speaker 2: It's Gogas. It's Gogars pushing a shopping cart full of peanut butter bars. No, I love it. I mean there's way more obnoxious things you can do in. 00:49:50 Speaker 3: The grocery sure, I mean yeah, I mean. 00:49:53 Speaker 2: Just standing in people's way, first. 00:49:54 Speaker 3: Your parents and take a dumb I mean, that's that's pretty obnoxious. 00:49:58 Speaker 2: That's an event. That's an event the store. But it's completely a gift. I encourage anyone who has the courage to do it. 00:50:07 Speaker 3: I guess I'd actually kind of prefer that to someone like humming along, because the humming along is like a little passive aggressive. There is something about the singing along that's just like, this is who I am. Deal with that. 00:50:17 Speaker 2: I'm going for it. 00:50:18 Speaker 3: I'm going for it and I don't mind that, okay. 00:50:20 Speaker 2: And who knows they might truly be trying to entertain sure, and we love an entertainment. 00:50:24 Speaker 3: You never know, how that you never know when you're going to discover the next pop sensation. It could be at your your local. Uh it's a grocery store Target, Yeah, well Target? Yeah? Yeah. Where do you go to the grocery store besides. 00:50:40 Speaker 2: Target, Albertson's on occasion, Ralph, where do you go? I'm a trader, Joe's too, Sprouts, Sprouts. I'm never in the Sprouts. 00:50:51 Speaker 3: I love a Sprouts. 00:50:52 Speaker 2: I go in there and I just feel confused. 00:50:55 Speaker 3: Yeah, I get it. I like it that. 00:50:56 Speaker 2: I mean everything seems good, good deals. Yeah, it feels like better. Do you a Whole Foods? 00:51:00 Speaker 3: Yeah? 00:51:02 Speaker 2: It's yeah. I just never really need anything in a spreuse and they don't carry the brand of chocolate chips I need. 00:51:08 Speaker 3: Oh, which I gets that? Key. 00:51:10 Speaker 2: Okay, so you've lost one round of the game, crud. Let's keep going. Somebody named Casey has written in gift or a curse people saying their tail is wagging when they're happy. 00:51:23 Speaker 3: Oh. I think that's horrible. I think that's a curse and why let me count the ways. I mean, I A the image of the idea of a human being with any form of tail, even like a little nub especially a nub on like on the bottom of their backbone, is grotesque to me and no offense if you have that, but not for me. And I don't like. I don't like when people like talk about themselves in animal terms. I don't, I don't. I don't get into that, like even like like gaze, like I don't like like the otter bear. I'm sure you're not you're a human being. You're not. Yeah, you're not, You're what is that? Is that right? Or you're right? 00:52:13 Speaker 2: I despise. 00:52:15 Speaker 3: I mean, it's also like cutesy. I don't like anything cutesy like that. 00:52:18 Speaker 2: It combines like a cutesy and a grotesque I think that's the problem. It's a perfect sweet spot of grotesque and right but also still like a scientific freak. 00:52:29 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, your tails? Are you okay? Like call the doctor, go to the hospital now, like, don't don't wait another minute. Yeah. 00:52:38 Speaker 2: It throws me off. It makes me so uneasy. Yeah, curse completely. Nobody can deny that. Okay, Okay, so we've gotten one final thing from someone named Laura gif you a curse restaurants that mix slash prepare your food table size. 00:52:53 Speaker 3: Oh I don't like that. I don't like it. I do not like that. I do not So for me, that is a curse. 00:53:01 Speaker 2: You just don't enjoy it. 00:53:03 Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't want to see. I don't want to see how the sausage is made, you know what I mean. I want the surprise. I want the light. You go to the bathroom and you come in the foods on the table, Like I don't want I don't want to see, like like with like guacamole being made at the table, Like no, I don't want that. I don't want that. What are other things people come and make at the table. 00:53:23 Speaker 2: Like caesar salad? 00:53:25 Speaker 3: What? 00:53:25 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I saw that in mad Men. That's what I've ever seen it. 00:53:29 Speaker 3: I've never seen that. So it comes over and makes the caesar salad. It's feels complicated. 00:53:34 Speaker 2: I think that maybe in mad Men they make the dressing or something they crack. 00:53:37 Speaker 3: The Oh yeah, I would be I'd be open to it if somebody was like making something really like really like difficult, like that was a full and You're like, and you're gonna be stating there for like eleven hours and you can't get up and you don't get to eat anything until it's ready. That is interesting. I would be open to that, but ultimately, for me, that is a curse. 00:54:01 Speaker 2: And you you took the words right out of my mouth. I mean, thank god, I need I mean, it's the same reason kind of why I don't like cooking at home, because I don't. I need the surprise. I need a little bit of magic. I'm like, oh, it appeared and it tastes great. I don't know how it happened. 00:54:14 Speaker 3: Look, we are starved for live theater here in Los Angeles, and we need a little bit of like something behind the curtain. And I think the preparing the food should stay behind the curtain. 00:54:24 Speaker 2: It don't drag me into the kitchen. 00:54:26 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't want to go in there. This is it the bear, not in the bear, folks. 00:54:32 Speaker 2: I would storm back there if I wanted to, screaming for whatever employee I wanted to. 00:54:37 Speaker 3: Yeah, no, no, curse, curse. You make small talk. 00:54:42 Speaker 2: Oh, I know, it's it kind of shuts everything down for a minute. 00:54:49 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that No, that looks good. 00:54:51 Speaker 2: And you know that person doesn't enjoy doing You don't. 00:54:53 Speaker 3: Want to have to do that. They're like, let me just go in the kitchen and make this of each piece. 00:54:57 Speaker 2: Well, they're the waiter, I mean, ye, yeah, yeah, we're giving them another job. 00:55:03 Speaker 3: I don't I don't like that. I don't want to go to one of those places where they like the hibachi girl. 00:55:08 Speaker 2: Leave smelling like the grill, like throw. 00:55:10 Speaker 3: Shrimp in your mouth, like stop, let me eat hibachi grill. 00:55:16 Speaker 2: Benny Hannah in particular, was a big story point. I watched the Queen of Versailles reality series. 00:55:22 Speaker 3: How is the I know I want to, That's what I've heard. I want to. I wanted it to be great because I fucking love that movie so much, But I had a feeling like it was just. 00:55:33 Speaker 2: It's really I mean, it's I mean, I will say it's worth watching almost because it is really a bad reality show. And she's fascinating she doing these days, she seems to be doing okay. 00:55:43 Speaker 3: The husband alive. 00:55:44 Speaker 2: The husband for most of the season is in the hospital. Oh sure, he eventually, I think in the final episode, he leaves the hospital so they can have New Year's Eve dinner in one finished room of the still unfinished show. 00:55:59 Speaker 3: Oh that's wonder it is. 00:56:01 Speaker 2: You can feel the draft. It's so crazy. 00:56:04 Speaker 3: So are they living in it? 00:56:05 Speaker 2: No, it's unlivable. Yeah, I mean that the ballroom is done. They finished some. The breakfast kitchen is done. It has a lot of birds living in it on purpose, probably now other birds not on purpose, not in cages. The birds are in cages, but I assume other birds have flown in at this point through the unfinished. 00:56:25 Speaker 3: Home, probably from Disney World, certainly from the Yeah. 00:56:33 Speaker 2: But I yeah, I would encourage you to watch it. 00:56:36 Speaker 3: Yeah. I keep putting it off because I want it to be better than it's going to be. 00:56:39 Speaker 2: But there's not going to be another seat. 00:56:41 Speaker 3: Only half hours, right, there are a half hour I like a half hour reality show. Yeah, there's not enough of. 00:56:46 Speaker 2: Them, right, I mean maybe it is an hour questioning. 00:56:49 Speaker 3: They all stretch those those things out, so it probably is, but there's there's only a handful of them. I was making sure that Cheech wasn't going to like lick your guitars. 00:56:56 Speaker 2: Yeah, we should mention that Jeffrey's dog, Cheech has been here the entire time. 00:57:00 Speaker 3: Well behaved, so well behaved yes, he's he was not well behaved before we got here, but then he went on a nice long walk and he's worn out and I gave him some cbduh. 00:57:10 Speaker 2: Yeah, he's in a beautiful job. Any other dog would be trying to get on the podcast. Okay, well you've got two out of three. 00:57:17 Speaker 3: Okay, terrific. Good, that's pretty good. 00:57:19 Speaker 2: Yeah you, I mean you didn't fail. You didn't get there every fail you got sixty six percent. 00:57:24 Speaker 3: That's sort of I was like my SAT score was just like, well, you didn't fail. What was it? Okay? 00:57:32 Speaker 2: Will you help me answer a listener question? What iver this is called? I said no emails people write into I said no gifts at gmail dot com. The listener is desperate for answers, desperate for help. Sure their life is in absolute tour oil. Let's answer this question, It says deer bridger and tortured soul. I'm not quite sure why they gave you that title. 00:57:57 Speaker 3: Yeah, because of I guess do they not like you? 00:58:02 Speaker 2: This feels like they're kind of a it's a smear on me. 00:58:04 Speaker 3: It's definitely projecting it, though it's not. They don't know anything about. 00:58:08 Speaker 2: Me, right, They have no idea, but I am, for. 00:58:10 Speaker 3: The record, quite tortured. 00:58:12 Speaker 2: Absolutely tortured. Uh it is for the holidays. I asked my loved ones to obey one simple request, no gifts, so you can imagine my discomfort when every single person still got me a gift. Of course I appreciate the gest sure, but would have actually preferred if my true wish had been respected. Bridger, Since you are faced with this dilemma so often, I figure you might be able to help me. How do I convince people to actually not get me gifts come next holiday season? Your pal Chloe, Okay, this is an interesting one. 00:58:44 Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, Like my sister and I don't do exchange gifts. My brother has kids and they always get us gifts because we're going to get them gifts. 00:58:57 Speaker 2: And it's not we don't write need that. 00:58:59 Speaker 3: We don't need to do it, like we don't need to do this whole show. Like I'm giving your kids gift cards, so you are giving me gift cards, and we're all just sort of giving gift cards back and forth to each other and just this endless cycle of gift cards. I mean, I feel like you have to come up with like a good alternative, like that someone can do something that feels like they're because ultimately it's just coming from the fact that they want to do something for you, right, right, And so like what's something what's the alternative? Maybe it's like we each bring a different dessert, like make it more of a share. We're all doing different things. 00:59:34 Speaker 2: You mop my floor, that's fun. 00:59:37 Speaker 3: Maybe yeah, like everybody is assigned a different cleaning duty. That's fine, and then that's fun. I mean, who doesn't love chores. 00:59:47 Speaker 2: In another person's home? Free labors switch back and forth among family members and friends. 00:59:54 Speaker 3: Did they say that Chloe? Was Chloe saying that she hosted? Was she the host? 00:59:58 Speaker 1: No? 00:59:59 Speaker 3: I think it was just kind of like I said, it's like you can get off your high horse, like you're the host driving people over. 01:00:03 Speaker 2: You're going to get accept that somebody is going to break the. 01:00:05 Speaker 3: Right I think, you know, I know a lot of people do that. What's that thing where like you do like a gift and like then you can steal the gift like white Elephant exchange. I think that's the way to do it, and I think I do. I think that's I think that sort of solves the problem, right, buddy, someone's going to get a gift, but you're not gonna it's not gonna be like a whole thing, right, what do you I mean? 01:00:30 Speaker 2: For me, I'm doing this podcast once a week, uh, receiving these gifts with absolute grace and humility. 01:00:37 Speaker 3: Yeah. 01:00:37 Speaker 2: I mean I think that this person just needs to learn. 01:00:40 Speaker 3: I think the person needs to learn. I think my big advice would be read a book. Read. 01:00:47 Speaker 2: I mean the other thing is you just damage every relationship in your life to a level that the person no longer wants to give you anything. 01:00:54 Speaker 3: Well, that's yeah, I mean alienate your family friends, yes, sever ties. 01:01:00 Speaker 2: Folks, just become your little island. 01:01:02 Speaker 3: I mean I do think that's not a bad, bad angle. 01:01:06 Speaker 2: And you've got a full year to do it. 01:01:07 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah. I get started early though, you know, because you're gonna gonna because people people are very forgiving, you know what I mean, to do something really unforgivable. 01:01:18 Speaker 2: Something unforgivable in February. By November, they're gonna forget. 01:01:21 Speaker 3: They'll have forgotten. So yes, do something bad in February, but then again in July, and then again in let's say, like Halloween's a great time to do something. Put you know, put a snake in their bed. You know, they did that on a Roseanne episode, Halloween episode. Once do that, you know, and then by Christmas it's over. It's over. 01:01:43 Speaker 2: Nothing left to worry about, not a damn thing. Chloe, You've got your answer. 01:01:48 Speaker 3: This is I bet you know. This is Chloe Grace Morett. Oh, of course. 01:01:51 Speaker 2: I mean she's called with the same question. I have her number blocked. I said, Chloe, I have to set up a boundary. I my life is my own. But she got through the email, and I'm happy to help this way. 01:02:03 Speaker 3: Yeah. I preferred an email for him. 01:02:05 Speaker 2: Yes, and hopefully she severs ties with me. Jeffrey, I have had a wonderful time with you time. No, I mean I did admit that I don't wash my car. 01:02:15 Speaker 3: Yeah, but now you're going to have to. 01:02:16 Speaker 2: I have full kit. 01:02:18 Speaker 3: You have a full kit. You have no excuse. 01:02:19 Speaker 2: I have the touchless tire. 01:02:21 Speaker 3: But don't just do the tires, because the tires, I get it. You want to get those tires back to their you know, right off the whole black Yeah, but do the whole car, you know, and get that put that air freshener in there. 01:02:35 Speaker 2: I'm not putting the air. That's the that's a bridge too far. 01:02:37 Speaker 3: I smell it first. 01:02:39 Speaker 2: It's a new car. Oh yeah, I don't want to you know, yeah. 01:02:43 Speaker 3: You don't want to smell like bubble gum, right, not yet yet. 01:02:47 Speaker 2: I want to do that naturally. Yeah, I'm going to be just chomping bubble gum and twirling my hair if I drive down the road. 01:02:54 Speaker 1: No. 01:02:54 Speaker 2: I will use all of these products at some point, probably simultaneously, except for the air freshener. 01:02:59 Speaker 3: And I think that wax you can drink. 01:03:01 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, of course you melt that down. I'm thrilled to have it. I'm thrilled you were here. 01:03:10 Speaker 4: I'm thrilled to have been here, and I'm thrilled for you to have it. Thank you again, thanks for having me listener. The podcast is coming to a screeching halt. You've got to get stop listening, do something else, move on, maybe go back to another episode. I'm happy for you to just be trapped in a cycle of listening to this podcast if you don't have anything else to do. 01:03:33 Speaker 2: But this is it. I'm saying goodbye. I love you, goodbye. I said No. Gifts is an exactly right production. It's produced by our dear friend Annalise Nilson. And it's beautifully mixed by Leana Squillatchi. And we couldn't do it without our guest booker, Patrick Kottner. The theme song, of course, could only come from mirror co worker Amy Man. You must follow the show on Instagram. At I said, no gifts. I don't want to hear any excuses. That's where you get to see pictures of all these gorgeous gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see pictures of the gifts? 01:04:13 Speaker 1: But I invited you hear thought. I made myself perfectly clear. But you're a guess to my home. You gotta come to me empty. And I said, no gifts, you're o presences. Presence enough. I already had too much stuff. 01:04:40 Speaker 3: So how did you dance? Survey me