WEBVTT - Second Date Update: Trial By Separation

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<v Speaker 1>Second date of date. When you date online, some people

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<v Speaker 1>connect over shared interests or hobbies. Other people connect because

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<v Speaker 1>they're both freaking hot. But one of our listeners, Thomas,

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<v Speaker 1>says he connected with a woman online over their joint sadness.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh something like that. Okay, let's talk to Thomas. Thomas.

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<v Speaker 1>Did you meet her on tiermatch dot com or was

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<v Speaker 1>it the Kleenex club? Which one was? That's cute, Well

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<v Speaker 1>that could go. Yeah, I'm not getting paid by any

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<v Speaker 1>of the services I use. I'm not gonna going to

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<v Speaker 1>be free advertising. But we did meet online. Okay, what's

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<v Speaker 1>the sadness you speak of? My friend? Well, you know

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<v Speaker 1>how you can put like whether you're single or divorce.

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<v Speaker 1>There's an option where you can put separated, and so

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<v Speaker 1>I thought I would be honest since the divorces and

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<v Speaker 1>finalized or anything, So I listed my status as separated. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>why wouldn't you normally do that? Well, I would normally

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<v Speaker 1>tell the truth. That's what I do. But I think

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<v Speaker 1>sometimes people don't want to scare somebody off, you know, like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>it's I think it'd be a turn off, Like people

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<v Speaker 1>are in the middle of something really messy, like you

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<v Speaker 1>just don't want to even swipe on them. It's like

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<v Speaker 1>on Facebook single and people sometimes put it's complicated. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you're obviously involved with somebody, but some people think that's

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<v Speaker 1>a turn on. They're like a disaster people you usually

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<v Speaker 1>want to date. Che Well, I don't know. He says

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<v Speaker 1>that he matched with somebody that was separated too. It

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<v Speaker 1>sounds like, yes, her name is Celia and she also

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<v Speaker 1>had separated on her profile. Okay, yeah, she had a

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<v Speaker 1>very nice smile, that she had big curly hair. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>a sucker, perfect didn't think that was coming, but awesome,

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<v Speaker 1>that's good. The hair is also a very good feature.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, that's it's a good start though. I'm going

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<v Speaker 1>to change the subject to a quick It's a good

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<v Speaker 1>start that you guys are going through. I mean, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know how similar it is, but similar life experience.

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<v Speaker 1>So you're coming in with with understanding and you probably

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<v Speaker 1>don't feel like you have to explain a lot, right sure. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean that's kind of like prefaces into why I'm

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<v Speaker 1>calling y'all. Um, we went on a date, and this

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<v Speaker 1>is my first first date since the you know, well

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<v Speaker 1>my TBX wife. Yeah, and um, she's not a couple

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<v Speaker 1>of guys like coffee or something super casual and so

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<v Speaker 1>we um, you know, we gotta bite to eat. Okay, wait,

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<v Speaker 1>what were you feeling? Like? Slow down because this is

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<v Speaker 1>the first date out of your marriage. Let me guess.

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<v Speaker 1>Hold on, I'm a psychic. You were nervous? No, he

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<v Speaker 1>could have been feeling excited the money tell us, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I went all out. You know, I got dressed to

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<v Speaker 1>the nines like Jim Carrey and dumb at dumb our tuxedo.

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<v Speaker 1>You know that doesn't sound nervous, no, of course, of course. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>You never know. You've been out of the dating game

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<v Speaker 1>for a minute. Maybe you just didn't read the room

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<v Speaker 1>right anymore. Well, I mean I thought it was positive that,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, I got a first date out of messaging

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<v Speaker 1>someone over the internet. So I mean that was you know,

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<v Speaker 1>my uh start. That was pretty cool. Yeah, I was good. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>Well how did it go when you showed up? Like?

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<v Speaker 1>How was how was Celia? What was the vibe? You know,

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<v Speaker 1>aside from the usual kind of laughs and jokes, a crack,

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<v Speaker 1>the thing that we definitely bonded over. I would say

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<v Speaker 1>like fifty percent of the date was our situation that

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<v Speaker 1>led us to being separated on you know, both of

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<v Speaker 1>us kind of talking about our personal life, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>But that's good. That's good because normally, if you're on

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<v Speaker 1>a date with someone who's just single, they won't relating.

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<v Speaker 1>You wouldn't dare bring it up, you know, because you

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<v Speaker 1>don't want to hear about it. But if you're both

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<v Speaker 1>going through it, it's like, no, please, I need someone

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<v Speaker 1>to talk to about that. I guess that is key.

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<v Speaker 1>You both have it in common so you can bond

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<v Speaker 1>over it. Yeah, is that is that how it went? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>I mean there definitely wasn't a pity party for it

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<v Speaker 1>was like bonding. Yeah. How many shots at tequila do

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<v Speaker 1>you need in order to get through that? But it's

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<v Speaker 1>only like, I know, maybe one two margarita maybe? Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>that's good. So what I mean were you able to

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<v Speaker 1>flirt too, though? Because if you're talking a lot about

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<v Speaker 1>you know, your exes and things, I mean we didn't.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, no one stayed the night at anybody's house

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<v Speaker 1>or anything like that. But like I said, I cracked

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<v Speaker 1>some folks, you know, I got some genuine laughs. So

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<v Speaker 1>I mean I count that out of flirting. Okay, why

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<v Speaker 1>do you want to call her back. I mean, maybe

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<v Speaker 1>this was just your practice date right before you you

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<v Speaker 1>got a lot of i'm guessing time to make up

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<v Speaker 1>for right now. Yeah, well yeah, why aren't you sleeping

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<v Speaker 1>with everybody around town? Why are you sticking to one person?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just saying, like, why why heard like it's your

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<v Speaker 1>first day. Well, the first date I thought went well,

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<v Speaker 1>so I'm figuring that, you know, I might as well

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<v Speaker 1>before I go a fish of the sea as it is,

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<v Speaker 1>I might as well make sure this one's off the hook.

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<v Speaker 1>Got to cut the line that was at differences and

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<v Speaker 1>it doesn't matter the women we didn't go to that

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<v Speaker 1>that's well, yeah, let's get back to the date. How

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<v Speaker 1>did the night end? You know, like I said, no,

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<v Speaker 1>we staved anybody's house. There was no making out or

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<v Speaker 1>anything like that. Hug Yeah, yeah, yeah, there was a hug.

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<v Speaker 1>But one thing that I think is kind of concern

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<v Speaker 1>that I would say is she had mentioned that the

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<v Speaker 1>reason of her separation was there was cheating involved, and

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<v Speaker 1>I could see how she did not want to put

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<v Speaker 1>out any kind of vulnerability, like, you know, to get

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<v Speaker 1>herself her like like I'm trying to be a player,

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<v Speaker 1>which I'm not, you know, like I'm not trying to be.

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<v Speaker 1>My intention was to get over and go on a

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<v Speaker 1>second date. And did you guys make any like future plans?

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<v Speaker 1>I always think that's a good sign on a date. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Well we didn't nail I mean we didn't nail down.

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<v Speaker 1>It was like, hey, let's go miniature golfing, you know tomorrow.

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<v Speaker 1>We didn't do anything like that. It was like a

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<v Speaker 1>hug at the end of the night, and it was

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, make sure you get home safe and

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<v Speaker 1>then I'll see what you know. So, how was the hut?

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<v Speaker 1>Was it like a quick hut, like a sense you along?

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<v Speaker 1>She smelled your hair kind of like you don't have

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<v Speaker 1>to answer that if you don't want you smell people's

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<v Speaker 1>hair on the first day ever. Just it was just

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<v Speaker 1>a nice hug, right, yes, it was just I think

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<v Speaker 1>it was a very the standard end of the night.

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<v Speaker 1>You didn't like, rub your hands up and down her back.

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<v Speaker 1>Details need I think you're just gonna play a song.

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<v Speaker 1>We'll come back. We'll call Celia for you and try

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<v Speaker 1>and get your second date update. All right, thank you?

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<v Speaker 1>All right? Hold on, okay, second stepping back on the

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<v Speaker 1>dating scene after going through a failed marriage. Wow, that

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<v Speaker 1>just say it like that. I'm just saying things are

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<v Speaker 1>probably different than the first time around. This is not

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<v Speaker 1>what you tell your friends if they ever call you.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm trying to paint the scene like the people are older,

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<v Speaker 1>the drinks hit you harder, and the hugs are standard. Nothing,

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<v Speaker 1>nothing less, No one telling anybody's hair. Well, that's what

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<v Speaker 1>happened with one of our listeners, Thomas, who's currently going

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<v Speaker 1>through a separation himself, and so was his date, Celia.

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<v Speaker 1>So naturally they talked a lot about their situations and

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<v Speaker 1>they were very open and vulnerable with each other, which

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<v Speaker 1>Thomas took as a good sign. But now Celia is

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<v Speaker 1>not responding to him, which Thomas is taking as a

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<v Speaker 1>bad sign. It's a good, good way to do it

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<v Speaker 1>hasn't changed in that sense. Yeah, something's never Yeah, but Thomas,

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<v Speaker 1>how you feeling? Man? You guys gave it quite the

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<v Speaker 1>lead up. We can keep that music going the whole time. Help.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you know what we never asked you is have

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<v Speaker 1>you tried to get a hold of her? I d

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<v Speaker 1>reached out to her, yes, but I did not receive

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<v Speaker 1>any communication backs. And I mean, I'm calling up you

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<v Speaker 1>guys because I feel like it went well, and so

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<v Speaker 1>I'm trying to figure out what what I do. Just

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<v Speaker 1>just brace yourself here because you're new to dating and

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<v Speaker 1>you may hear some things you don't want to hear.

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<v Speaker 1>That doesn't mean that you're good at it. Okay, And

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<v Speaker 1>as Brooke would say, there's a whole city of people

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<v Speaker 1>to sleep with. Actually exactly what I would condone. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>so let's give Celia call. We'll see if she answers

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<v Speaker 1>and what she has to say. Let's do here we go,

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<v Speaker 1>Hello is it Celia? Yeah? Sorry, I was really excited there, Celia.

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<v Speaker 1>I wasn't sure if you're going to answer. Hey, we're

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<v Speaker 1>we're Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning from the radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Hey cool, Now she's not answering a second to process.

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<v Speaker 1>This is probably a lot, right, I don't Who is it? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>we're so we're a morning radio show. We're called Brooke

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<v Speaker 1>and Jeffrey in the Morning, and we're hoping that you'll

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<v Speaker 1>be a part of a segment with us here called

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<v Speaker 1>a second Date Update. Oh no, thank you. That's a no, no, no, no, Celia,

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<v Speaker 1>it's not a bad thing. Yeah, we're actually calling on

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<v Speaker 1>behalf of one of our listeners. Who you went out

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<v Speaker 1>on a date with a very hot date. Sounded like

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<v Speaker 1>his name's Thomas. Oh yeah, okay, Oh that didn't Oh

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<v Speaker 1>that didn't sound good Thomas. I think it's clueless because

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<v Speaker 1>that was not a good response about Thomas. I mean, Mike,

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<v Speaker 1>we had a really nice dinner and I was hopeful,

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<v Speaker 1>but we kind of got into a personal conversation about

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<v Speaker 1>our situations, our separations, our marriages and that sort of thing.

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<v Speaker 1>It was a big ray flag for me that kind

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<v Speaker 1>of popped up. So are you saying just you guys

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<v Speaker 1>discussing the marital situations was a red flag or something

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<v Speaker 1>specifically about the conversation. Yeah, it was more. It was

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<v Speaker 1>more specific. It was like I told him, like, basically,

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<v Speaker 1>my situation ended because of cheating, and I was the cheater.

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<v Speaker 1>I was unfaithful. Oh oh interesting. So he didn't share

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of your your story at all. He just

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<v Speaker 1>said that there was like that's why your marriage ended.

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<v Speaker 1>He didn't. We just assumed that it was your ex

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<v Speaker 1>But okay, that's fine. That well, for me, the red

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<v Speaker 1>flag was like he acted really weird, like it was

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<v Speaker 1>just normal and he was understanding and like trying to

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<v Speaker 1>make excuses for me and I'm thinking this guy was

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<v Speaker 1>kind of weak. What what do you mean he was

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<v Speaker 1>making excuses for you, Like, oh, well, I guess he

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't paying you attention, or you know, he wanted him

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<v Speaker 1>to be mean to you instead, or you're like the

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<v Speaker 1>first time. It's more like I just laid what I

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<v Speaker 1>had out there on the table and his reaction was

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<v Speaker 1>just a little too normal for me, Like, oh, I

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<v Speaker 1>know him the real like, listen, I cheated and he

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<v Speaker 1>was just like, oh, that's okay, okay, Well, maybe he

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<v Speaker 1>cheated in his relationship too, I mean, or he's just

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<v Speaker 1>awkward and doesn't know what to say that because he

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't want to insult his date. He liked you, well, like,

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<v Speaker 1>what did you want to hear from him? What would

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<v Speaker 1>have been a good response in your mind? I wanted

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<v Speaker 1>him to be disgusted by it, because I think it's

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<v Speaker 1>really horrible what I did. Yeah, was like inside he

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<v Speaker 1>felt that way, but he didn't want to say to

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<v Speaker 1>you on a first date if you disgust me. Plus,

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<v Speaker 1>relationships are like really complicated, and you know, sometimes it

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't want to just saying Maybe he's just being an

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<v Speaker 1>understanding person and trying to be empathetic to what you

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<v Speaker 1>were going through. It sounds like maybe you should go

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<v Speaker 1>out little You guys are both understanding, totally understand. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>if you're playing the statistics, chances are she already has.

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<v Speaker 1>So all I'm saying is like this guy, like he

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't attack you for being really vulnerable and really honest,

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<v Speaker 1>because that's probably a hard thing to share with you people.

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<v Speaker 1>I would imagine you're not listening to me. I deserved it.

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<v Speaker 1>Like he didn't even bust anything. Okay, I see what

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<v Speaker 1>you're saying. Like he's siding with the person who cheated

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<v Speaker 1>rather than siding with the person who got cheated off. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>not even questioning it, like got you. Maybe maybe he

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<v Speaker 1>could yell at you now, yeah, because this would be

0:12:34.120 --> 0:12:36.240
<v Speaker 1>a great chance for him to lay into you because

0:12:36.240 --> 0:12:39.520
<v Speaker 1>he's actually on the other line listening. Absolutely, I think

0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:42.520
<v Speaker 1>I've had enough. No, no, no, no enough. You understand

0:12:43.240 --> 0:12:45.920
<v Speaker 1>he's already there listening right now and wants to talk

0:12:45.920 --> 0:12:47.800
<v Speaker 1>to you. Yeah. Yeah, all right, So let me get

0:12:47.840 --> 0:12:50.640
<v Speaker 1>this straight. You wanted me to be like doctor phil

0:12:50.800 --> 0:12:53.080
<v Speaker 1>or Steve Harvey or something. It just lace into you.

0:12:54.040 --> 0:12:56.960
<v Speaker 1>How does that make sense on a first date? First

0:12:56.960 --> 0:12:59.240
<v Speaker 1>of all, I didn't even know you were on the line. Secondly,

0:12:59.240 --> 0:13:02.079
<v Speaker 1>I go for a reason, and I really don't even

0:13:02.160 --> 0:13:07.560
<v Speaker 1>want to talk to you. Oh no, flying Is this

0:13:07.600 --> 0:13:09.680
<v Speaker 1>the vibe you got Thomas when you guys were out?

0:13:10.240 --> 0:13:13.160
<v Speaker 1>Nothing like this. This is like Medusa head. I don't

0:13:13.200 --> 0:13:16.040
<v Speaker 1>know who this woman is. I'm just being honest with you.

0:13:16.080 --> 0:13:19.360
<v Speaker 1>I feel like you could have at least questioned why

0:13:19.400 --> 0:13:21.720
<v Speaker 1>I did it, Like I need someone to hold me

0:13:21.760 --> 0:13:26.760
<v Speaker 1>accountable for all Right, you want some criticism? Are you

0:13:26.840 --> 0:13:28.520
<v Speaker 1>got my nails? Dont my nails look good? Yeah? Your

0:13:28.559 --> 0:13:34.760
<v Speaker 1>nails don't look good? Do's cost a lot? Don't talk

0:13:34.840 --> 0:13:37.360
<v Speaker 1>those you didn't go there? Did you like? My nails

0:13:37.360 --> 0:13:42.520
<v Speaker 1>looks amazing? Okay? I think he's just trying to give

0:13:42.559 --> 0:13:45.240
<v Speaker 1>you what you want there, Celia. He's not reading what

0:13:45.280 --> 0:13:47.560
<v Speaker 1>she wants very well though. I mean, I will give

0:13:47.559 --> 0:13:53.240
<v Speaker 1>her back if I'm reading exactly what she wants. It

0:13:53.240 --> 0:13:56.000
<v Speaker 1>sounds like you want to be punished next time. Bring

0:13:56.000 --> 0:13:58.920
<v Speaker 1>an iron fist to the date and put the hammer down.

0:13:59.120 --> 0:14:02.680
<v Speaker 1>This is why he practice dating more. Yeah, I have

0:14:02.760 --> 0:14:08.559
<v Speaker 1>called the first person back a lot of people out

0:14:08.600 --> 0:14:11.000
<v Speaker 1>till you find your right man. But he could sleep

0:14:11.040 --> 0:14:14.120
<v Speaker 1>around with other people and cheat on Celia and then

0:14:14.160 --> 0:14:16.440
<v Speaker 1>we could send them out on a second date. No,

0:14:16.720 --> 0:14:20.120
<v Speaker 1>I don't think that's what she wants either. Yeah, I

0:14:20.120 --> 0:14:22.480
<v Speaker 1>mean I could ask Celia, would you be interested in that?

0:14:22.480 --> 0:14:24.600
<v Speaker 1>Would you like to go out one more time? I'm

0:14:24.640 --> 0:14:27.000
<v Speaker 1>good with him. I thought I made that clear. Yeah,

0:14:27.000 --> 0:14:30.040
<v Speaker 1>you did, you did. You're very clear. It's just my

0:14:30.160 --> 0:14:33.600
<v Speaker 1>job to ask. Yeah, okay. I don't know if Thomas

0:14:33.720 --> 0:14:36.400
<v Speaker 1>is upset about that, though. Yeah. I'm sat about how

0:14:36.440 --> 0:14:39.440
<v Speaker 1>this went, especially considering she's out of her mind. Oh

0:14:40.720 --> 0:14:44.080
<v Speaker 1>now you're talking the way that she likes. Ye. Well,

0:14:44.440 --> 0:14:46.240
<v Speaker 1>I really appreciate you guys having me on. But if

0:14:46.280 --> 0:14:48.960
<v Speaker 1>I learned anything from this, it don't date anyone who

0:14:48.960 --> 0:14:59.480
<v Speaker 1>says separated in a profiles. I guess Broke and Jeffrey

0:14:59.480 --> 0:15:02.360
<v Speaker 1>in the Morning Man. People have been saying forever that

0:15:02.760 --> 0:15:05.720
<v Speaker 1>dating today is hard. Yeah. I think it's time after

0:15:05.760 --> 0:15:09.560
<v Speaker 1>that call to start saying dating is impossible. Yeah, because

0:15:09.600 --> 0:15:12.400
<v Speaker 1>even if you're trying to be understanding and see the

0:15:12.400 --> 0:15:15.080
<v Speaker 1>other person's perspective give them the benefit of the doubt,

0:15:15.360 --> 0:15:18.040
<v Speaker 1>that scene as a weakness. Yeah, and they don't like

0:15:18.160 --> 0:15:21.040
<v Speaker 1>you for it. That's why this ended with no date

0:15:21.080 --> 0:15:23.520
<v Speaker 1>at the end. Anybody out there who's single, including myself,

0:15:23.560 --> 0:15:29.480
<v Speaker 1>let's just all give up. That's a winning at Kay,

0:15:31.280 --> 0:15:35.720
<v Speaker 1>that's so sad. Okay, I just hate a dialone. It's mad.

0:15:36.080 --> 0:15:38.200
<v Speaker 1>You will find your love. You don't have to base

0:15:38.240 --> 0:15:41.320
<v Speaker 1>it up this lady. This lady was a little out there,

0:15:41.320 --> 0:15:43.280
<v Speaker 1>and I think what it does say is that even

0:15:43.320 --> 0:15:45.440
<v Speaker 1>if you were the cheater, therese are people who will

0:15:45.480 --> 0:15:50.000
<v Speaker 1>forgive you. Yeah, that was really nice too, forgiving him.

0:15:50.040 --> 0:15:54.320
<v Speaker 1>That was the problem either. I could see why she

0:15:54.360 --> 0:16:01.640
<v Speaker 1>hated you thought sappy, but you know, yeppy, it wasn't sides,

0:16:01.760 --> 0:16:06.240
<v Speaker 1>it wasn't. But no, look, we do want to help

0:16:06.280 --> 0:16:09.000
<v Speaker 1>connect you if you still do believe in love out there,

0:16:09.000 --> 0:16:11.080
<v Speaker 1>and if you do, you can always email the show.

0:16:11.280 --> 0:16:13.040
<v Speaker 1>We'll call the person who wasn't calling you better