Speaker 1: Help I Suck At Dating with Dean Angel and I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio Podcast. Hello, Hello, thank you so much for
Speaker 1: tuning into another episode of Help I Suck At Dating?
Speaker 1: Still the title, We're still working on it. Still keep
Speaker 1: tweeting me your suggestions because I promise you one of
Speaker 1: these days, hopefully soon it will change. And all it
Speaker 1: takes is a little bit of effort. And I'm trying
Speaker 1: my hardest. But I'm joined in studio today by Easton. Hello,
Speaker 1: you know him, you love him every once in a while.
Speaker 1: No Mark, no Amy, no Erica today. But I have
Speaker 1: two other special guests. We have Carmelia and Carmelio Ray
Speaker 1: and Courtney from my season of Bachelor Winster Gamello. Um
Speaker 1: so we are joined, like I said by Carmelia, she
Speaker 1: is the host. Uh. I think I saw in the
Speaker 1: previou of twenty three year, twenty five year Matchmaking, veteran
Speaker 1: dating coach and star of Mombers Matchmaker. It's number one
Speaker 1: series on cable networks Mixed TV. And I think the
Speaker 1: numbers you've helped over sixty signals um and facilitated more
Speaker 1: than one thousand marriages? Is that true? Uh? I've had
Speaker 1: over sixty five thousand conversations with singles in twenty five years.
Speaker 1: And yes, I've seen thousands of marriages, so that's that's
Speaker 1: like I'm trying to do the math. Three thousand conversations
Speaker 1: roughly per year. That's a lot of that's a lot
Speaker 1: of work. I started in before match dot com, So yes, okay,
Speaker 1: And we just watched a bit of mom Verus Matchmaker here,
Speaker 1: at least the teaser first season one. Um, tell us
Speaker 1: a little bit more about that, a little bit more
Speaker 1: about you, and UM just kind of like to the
Speaker 1: lesser informed listener. Sure, well, mom Versus Matchmaker Season three
Speaker 1: is launching April tenth fro on Mixed TV, and you
Speaker 1: saw trailer one for mom Versus Matchmaker and episode two.
Speaker 1: So I've planned now or we have planned about sixty
Speaker 1: blind dates with singles all across. You know that moms choose,
Speaker 1: and so basically it's a battle between myself and mom
Speaker 1: to see who's a better matchmaker. So we're trying to
Speaker 1: win the role of Cupid based on the fact that
Speaker 1: challenging mom knows best versus my skills as a matchmaker.
Speaker 1: And you're setting up the daughter of the mother or
Speaker 1: is it could it be anyone besides a daughter like
Speaker 1: a son or daughter and both LGBT and straight. So
Speaker 1: I'm really meet It's it's reality. So in real life,
Speaker 1: I don't meet my contenders until I meet them on air,
Speaker 1: and I get a very short window of time to
Speaker 1: find a dater, train a dater, and hopefully have that
Speaker 1: person pick my choice. It's amazing. It's such a unique
Speaker 1: I guess outlook on it on a dating show. Yeah, so, um,
Speaker 1: I see two very eligible bachelors for season four. Um, sorry, mom,
Speaker 1: you lost. Going up against a parent of someone you're
Speaker 1: trying to find a dateful because obviously generally your parents
Speaker 1: know you best. And then I've seen you diting, they've
Speaker 1: seen this at a pot as you brought home or
Speaker 1: introduced them to. You'd think they'd have a pretty good idea. Well,
Speaker 1: let me ask you if I was to go up
Speaker 1: against your mother, what would you think the competition would
Speaker 1: be like? So I had a conversation with my mom
Speaker 1: the other day actually, and she met someone or not
Speaker 1: the other day a little while ago. But she pointed
Speaker 1: out straight away, she's like, you have a time, She's
Speaker 1: like thinking about this, this, this, this, and she pointed
Speaker 1: out all the similarities of every girl I brought home
Speaker 1: and introduced my parents, and she was spot on, and
Speaker 1: it actually made me realize that I have a time
Speaker 1: and took my mom to realize that before I did.
Speaker 1: So she's got a good idea. So you have a
Speaker 1: close So this is a This is one example of
Speaker 1: a relationship between parent and child, because not all relationships
Speaker 1: are like this. In many cases, the mom's perception of
Speaker 1: who the child needs or wants is totally different than
Speaker 1: what's the reality. Right, So, and you happened to be
Speaker 1: someone that your mom's met your partners By the sound
Speaker 1: of it, I still live at home, so she's got
Speaker 1: no child. Has your mom met all your partners? In
Speaker 1: the fact, families pretty far removed from the equation, so
Speaker 1: they don't necessarily weigh on those types of this. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: well in in your particular case, yes, moms are great competition.
Speaker 1: I that's what makes the show it is because the
Speaker 1: moms have a strong opinion. Now, whether or not those
Speaker 1: moms are correct are another story, because there's the there's
Speaker 1: the parent who wants their child to be with a
Speaker 1: certain person, and sometimes that person is who they see
Speaker 1: them with, not necessarily who the child wants to be
Speaker 1: with someone like the husband. Oh exactly there. In fact,
Speaker 1: I did a couple of every part of the segment
Speaker 1: and the interviews. When I meet the single, I go
Speaker 1: through a series of matchmaking questions. So I do the
Speaker 1: intake to get my kind of forty five minutes to
Speaker 1: an hour with this person, asking them all the questions
Speaker 1: so that I can go and find them their match.
Speaker 1: And and a lot of the times when I talk
Speaker 1: to the moms, I get to meet the moms for
Speaker 1: a short time. They're like, my son wants somebody exactly
Speaker 1: like me. I'm thinking, I know who's winning this competition.
Speaker 1: Check can we get like an abbreviated version of those
Speaker 1: forty five minutes that you spend with the son, the
Speaker 1: daughter whoever? It is, like, what kind of kinds of
Speaker 1: questions are you asking? What are really like? What helps
Speaker 1: you get to know them best? Do you think, well,
Speaker 1: I asked the questions that the mom's probably don't ask.
Speaker 1: So a lot of those, uh, well, because of first
Speaker 1: date or not really, that's kind of like relationship date.
Speaker 1: You're talking about home run. But I do questions on
Speaker 1: so you like leather and bundane. I'm not gonna lost.
Speaker 1: You gotta set the basis for moving forward so we
Speaker 1: know where his priorities are. But no, in all seriousness,
Speaker 1: yes I don't. I ask about sexual orientation, So that's
Speaker 1: the one. Um. The other conversation that we ask about
Speaker 1: are what are the physical attributes? Like who do you
Speaker 1: find attractive? Right? Um, so we're gonna be I look
Speaker 1: at an overall picture lifestyle, attitude, values, goals, physical traits,
Speaker 1: personality traits. I hit all the important criteria to maintain
Speaker 1: and sustain a relationship. And more importantly, I asked some
Speaker 1: key questions like now I'm giving this away, guys, like
Speaker 1: because if we have more episodes, the bombs are going
Speaker 1: to take notes here. But that's fine. I'm totally confident
Speaker 1: all asking. I'll be all asking, Like describe a perfect date.
Speaker 1: Talk to me about the best experiences that you've had,
Speaker 1: Like I really try to get to know them so
Speaker 1: that when I work with the person i'm picking, I
Speaker 1: try to see an envision. Is this somebody that's going
Speaker 1: to deliver the dream day? Do they have the confidence,
Speaker 1: do they have the key compatibilities? Do they have the
Speaker 1: physical look? I can't get it right on all marks,
Speaker 1: but I always struggle that. I always struggle that question
Speaker 1: to describe your perfect date. So, Courtne, can you describe
Speaker 1: your perfect day? Perfect date? Look, I'm a pretty simple guy.
Speaker 1: Love being by the water, so it's either at a
Speaker 1: beach or lake or what not. And I'm a simple
Speaker 1: person when it comes to food and drinks, a red
Speaker 1: wine always, I'm a wine guy. I love red wine.
Speaker 1: And then I like fish and chips. I think by
Speaker 1: the ocean, fish and chips, ticks, the boxes, maybe a
Speaker 1: little block of chocolate afterwards. Do you see what he
Speaker 1: just did? He gave away all the secrets. So guess what,
Speaker 1: I guess what your perfect date it's going to look like?
Speaker 1: Tell me everything you just describe perfect because it's cheap.
Speaker 1: Your perfect date is what you just said, this perfect
Speaker 1: everything you've done in the game. Do you know what
Speaker 1: he's going to be sitting there with the best fish
Speaker 1: and chips, with a beautiful few of the water, with
Speaker 1: an amazing girl or boy and a box of chocolates? Yeah,
Speaker 1: the dream? Sorry, mom, I can't believe you just got
Speaker 1: that from what I just said. It's unbelievable. I will
Speaker 1: get a lot more from the Bachelor. Should hire you
Speaker 1: to cast women? Okay, gotch you. So we're in season
Speaker 1: three of this Momber's Matchmaker now right, and you were
Speaker 1: a host of seasons one and two. Yes, I am
Speaker 1: the matchmaker. So the competition gets fiercer and fiercer. These
Speaker 1: moms are watching episodes. They're watching all the previous episodes.
Speaker 1: They are taking notes. I am giving away some secrets.
Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, you know, I
Speaker 1: have my rolodex, I have my assistant. I am an
Speaker 1: assistant Patrick who helps me, you know, plan the dates,
Speaker 1: curate the dates. I have access to amazing dating professionals,
Speaker 1: so I go through date training. Let me ask you,
Speaker 1: because you suck at dating apparently apparently apparently, if you
Speaker 1: could have a magic wish for one area where you
Speaker 1: have a weakness in when it comes to women, what
Speaker 1: would that be? Weakness how like weak in the knees
Speaker 1: or weakness like item not no, not weak in the knees,
Speaker 1: like like a dating skill? Where where are you lacking?
Speaker 1: I think I often lack in the empathy department. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's great, So you lack an empathy. Where does that
Speaker 1: show up? Um my inability to I guess relate to people,
Speaker 1: like when people are like super emotion about certain things.
Speaker 1: I can show emotion, but I have I have trouble
Speaker 1: relating to those emotions and it doesn't come across as
Speaker 1: like necessarily negative, but it definitely to go to a
Speaker 1: different place, or do you just not have I just
Speaker 1: I just have a very logical and rationally about thinking
Speaker 1: about things. And so when people are like talking about
Speaker 1: that kind of stuff, which I obviously appreciate, I want
Speaker 1: them to be able to open up to me. I
Speaker 1: just have trouble I guess relating to it in a
Speaker 1: way maybe that it seems it's fine, but I think
Speaker 1: that I could do better at it, you know. So
Speaker 1: this is the chance where a dating coach or myself,
Speaker 1: Let's say you were the single and I had I
Speaker 1: had to train you, I would take an expert and
Speaker 1: work on the empathy piece, whether that is role playing
Speaker 1: a situation, putting you in a in a place where
Speaker 1: you can practice more empathy is also what we would do.
Speaker 1: Or find a girl who's equally like you who doesn't
Speaker 1: emote as much. That's on your level. I'm also I'm
Speaker 1: also really bad at making plans. So like, I love
Speaker 1: hanging out and I love being around whoever I'm dating,
Speaker 1: but I'm bad at being like, all right, we're going
Speaker 1: to be doing this at this time, so you don't
Speaker 1: have to worry about that. I take that all away.
Speaker 1: My day concierge will plan all the days for you. You
Speaker 1: You will be like a Romeo and problem solved. There
Speaker 1: we go. How much does all this cost? Yeah? Can
Speaker 1: I hire this person? And that's the benefit of the
Speaker 1: Bachelor is they're like, all right, you want to date?
Speaker 1: You wanna? Then that's why we're on the show and
Speaker 1: a favorite, right, because that's part of the that's part
Speaker 1: of the dating plan. When people when you actually look
Speaker 1: at it, like help, I suck at dating. I don't
Speaker 1: like planning dates. Work with a date planner. I suck
Speaker 1: at a mooting Okay, talk to a relationship coach, right, like,
Speaker 1: figure out where your weaknesses are and work. Lets see help. Yes,
Speaker 1: Since since tomorrow is Valentine's Day, let's talk about that
Speaker 1: for a second. So what are some I guess dating
Speaker 1: advice or dating tips that you can give to the
Speaker 1: listeners who are either in a new relationship or a
Speaker 1: long term relationship however long what worked some advice you
Speaker 1: can give for Valentine's I guess you know. I think
Speaker 1: that if you can show up on Valentine's Day without
Speaker 1: bringing the traditional you know, flowers and chocolate, a great
Speaker 1: thing to It's it's the what's that phrase got stuck
Speaker 1: on that thoughts count like the simple things, right, whether
Speaker 1: it's instead of going out for dinner, suggesting a home
Speaker 1: cook that is made to take because I've had enough
Speaker 1: money to take. I'm always like, well, I drew you
Speaker 1: a picture picture from recycled wood. Oh my goodness that
Speaker 1: I just found it on the ground cold race. Well
Speaker 1: that's great. I mean, so you're saying, you're saying it's
Speaker 1: good to kind of break the mold and go against
Speaker 1: the grand and do something different. Always, always do something different.
Speaker 1: That's what has people remember, how they feel like memories,
Speaker 1: the extra time that you took to make a card
Speaker 1: instead of buy a card, make a meal instead of
Speaker 1: buy the meal. You're a horrible date planner. So if
Speaker 1: anyone was with you and knew that you whether you
Speaker 1: hired someone or you did it yourself, they would know
Speaker 1: if they knew you that this took a lot of
Speaker 1: effort for you to plan this date and make a residue, right,
Speaker 1: that would make a big That would be a big
Speaker 1: deal and listening show that you listened to Dane, Like,
Speaker 1: if you make spagetall eyes and she's allergic, I mean
Speaker 1: I might do that intentionally, you know, like Vegan and
Speaker 1: I think, oh my god, that actually happened with a
Speaker 1: mom and um an Italian mom in Season one, I
Speaker 1: found a girl, didn't ask her very many questions, was
Speaker 1: the prettiest girl on the street that she could find?
Speaker 1: And her son, he's Italian first of all, and the
Speaker 1: sun loves pasta and they're at a restaurant and he's
Speaker 1: ordering meal a meal and she's completely again. And so
Speaker 1: it was like, because we all know the best, the
Speaker 1: best way to match someone is just based purely off
Speaker 1: of looks. If they're if they're both attractive, it's going
Speaker 1: to work out. Where is your stance and what are
Speaker 1: your thoughts on dating apps these days? Because there's a
Speaker 1: billion app there and it seems that's the way everyone's
Speaker 1: meeting someone just swapping left Alorado. However it works. Do
Speaker 1: their dating app for a TV show these days? Yeah? Well,
Speaker 1: I mean, and we actually do matchmaking on television, don't we.
Speaker 1: You meet people were real relationships. So everyone signed up
Speaker 1: to a TV show that you get a TV show
Speaker 1: if you see dot com slash casting. Um um okay.
Speaker 1: So so back to your question dating apps. Dating apps
Speaker 1: are a tool I when I work with a single
Speaker 1: person to help them find love. It is not you know,
Speaker 1: focused on one thing. First of all we should know
Speaker 1: about dating apps is that everybody has one or use them.
Speaker 1: Have either of you guys used to dating in the
Speaker 1: past years ago? I was haven't. No, never, Okay, we'll
Speaker 1: see and do you have olenges meeting people? Sometimes I
Speaker 1: prefer to meet someone in a more organic, confronting way
Speaker 1: where the nerves just get, you know, where you really
Speaker 1: do start to butterfly up in the chest and you're going,
Speaker 1: there's a good looking girl just there. How am I
Speaker 1: going to approach this? And then I quite like that,
Speaker 1: that feel that adrenaline. I suppose of going up and saying, hey,
Speaker 1: you're a rare bird. But we'll see that. Well, that's
Speaker 1: the thing is I mean, I don't have a job,
Speaker 1: so I spent a lot of time out about and whatever.
Speaker 1: So I do have that time in the middle of
Speaker 1: the day at a shopping center or at a cafe,
Speaker 1: or at a night out or something like that to
Speaker 1: meet people, um, you know, at about So it's probably
Speaker 1: not the same for everyone. I suppose confidence is key
Speaker 1: and it is very confronting, it's very nerve racking. But
Speaker 1: I think when you break through that and you just
Speaker 1: approach someone, it's it's the best feeling. Well, don't have
Speaker 1: that ability or a skill set, which is a large
Speaker 1: number of singles in this population a dating app as
Speaker 1: a tool to help them connect with other single like
Speaker 1: minded people. So any time I've ever spoken to a
Speaker 1: dating app, for example, the League just launched in Toronto.
Speaker 1: I met their founder, Amanda Bradford. She's a Stanford grad.
Speaker 1: So when she was on Tinder and when she was
Speaker 1: single looking for a match, she found it really hard
Speaker 1: to find someone on her level. So what does she do.
Speaker 1: She creates the League because it matches people according to
Speaker 1: occupational and educational compatibility, which was important to her. So
Speaker 1: dating apps are not going away. There's something new launching
Speaker 1: all the time, and I think that if you're single
Speaker 1: and actively looking, you should at least try one. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I agree. I wonder if you could go about because
Speaker 1: a lot of people like to kind of punch out
Speaker 1: of their weight class, you know, so like say, I'm
Speaker 1: like G E. D. Having guy that loves to date
Speaker 1: girls that only have like their doctorate or something like that.
Speaker 1: Just something to consider as in people date out of
Speaker 1: their out of the class. I mean, you never make
Speaker 1: it onto the league then, will you? I guess not.
Speaker 1: True process is pretty pretty Uh well that's that's a
Speaker 1: that's a different betting process. But there are other apps
Speaker 1: that we're all known, like Tinder that is popularized by
Speaker 1: physical looks. So if that's important to you, you would
Speaker 1: go to that. I think it's one component for sure.
Speaker 1: I mean didn't have a lot of matchmaking algorithm from
Speaker 1: my understanding. So when you're matchmaking on the TV show
Speaker 1: Mombverus Matchmaker on Mixed TV. By the way, um, when
Speaker 1: you're matchmaking on that TV show, do you you have
Speaker 1: to take I guess looks into consideration or is it
Speaker 1: solely based off of the questions that the answer. I
Speaker 1: guess it depending on whether they answer whether it looks
Speaker 1: are important to them or not. But absolutely, and I
Speaker 1: think for every person that I interviewed, every single person
Speaker 1: placed physical attraction and some sort of attraction as important.
Speaker 1: There wasn't anyone I met that said it didn't matter.
Speaker 1: If you're gonna spend the rest CeAl off with someone,
Speaker 1: you want to find them physically attractive. Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: we have a beautiful past. I mean the people that
Speaker 1: we organically organically picked, even the moms. The moms went
Speaker 1: for looks over anything else when they had nothing else,
Speaker 1: and most of the times they didn't have a lot
Speaker 1: of the deeper intel than I had. So they were looking.
Speaker 1: They were looking at them going would you look good
Speaker 1: with my son or my daughter? Right, it's more like
Speaker 1: a look, how would you look on the Christmas card
Speaker 1: next year? What are my grandchildren gonna look like? Oh?
Speaker 1: My goodness. That was a huge motivating factor for at
Speaker 1: least four moms and said my daughter needs babies, And
Speaker 1: so they were looking at guys going, you're a good specimen.
Speaker 1: It's initially take into the equation though, because even myself,
Speaker 1: like I'm thirty one and I'm at the stage where
Speaker 1: my next relationship I'm looking for. I don't want to
Speaker 1: waste my time. I don't know, to spend six months
Speaker 1: or something little twelve months with someone and be like, well,
Speaker 1: I'm thirty two and three, like I wanted to have
Speaker 1: kids young pross so I'm at the stage now and
Speaker 1: I've never done it before, but I'm at the stage
Speaker 1: where I look at a girl and it does across
Speaker 1: my mind. I'm like, what the genetics? Yeah, what are
Speaker 1: the kids going? There's a DNA test with that. It's something.
Speaker 1: It's funny. It's it's only developed in me. The older
Speaker 1: I've got and the more ready I am. I supposed
Speaker 1: to settle down with one person and start a family.
Speaker 1: What's your vetting process like for when I meet someone? Um,
Speaker 1: that's an interesting question. I don't know. I just want
Speaker 1: someone that's UH spontaneous, outgoing, and fun to be around.
Speaker 1: I think those are probably the most important quality. Someone
Speaker 1: that uh is strongly opinionated in the right areas. I
Speaker 1: guess I do appreciate that type of I guess, ability
Speaker 1: to to make decisions and then kind of not necessary
Speaker 1: waiver in the way that they think about things. Um,
Speaker 1: So it sounds strong willed. I guess it is a
Speaker 1: good way to put it. So it sounds to me
Speaker 1: it's largely based on experience initially and attraction. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: physical attraction, of course. I mean I think yes, as
Speaker 1: much as we all want to say, it's not necessarily
Speaker 1: important to us. I think that we all require a
Speaker 1: certain level of physical attraction to the person that we're dating. First.
Speaker 1: The first consideration is whether this person is attractive enough
Speaker 1: for you or that you're just attracted to Sure, I
Speaker 1: don't think you look I mean you always have a
Speaker 1: second glance at someone you're attracted to. Do you guys
Speaker 1: have your deal breakers? Do you know what those are? Oh?
Speaker 1: Do you smoking? Yeah? Yeah, smoking breaker? Fan of women
Speaker 1: they smoke? Um, girls, you all have a really big chance.
Speaker 1: As long as you don't smoke, we're good and he's
Speaker 1: got to like you. Right, I'm trying to think they're
Speaker 1: definitely have to be deal breakers. Um, okay, maybe let's
Speaker 1: let's do you guys are don't have a long list
Speaker 1: of deal breakers, which actually tells me that you haven't
Speaker 1: had This is my assessment, you haven't had that many
Speaker 1: horrible experiences. Most times, when I asked somebody what's your
Speaker 1: deal breaker, they'll come up with a laundry list of like,
Speaker 1: don't based on the fact that they've dated every person
Speaker 1: they didn't want to meet. So let's do the reverse.
Speaker 1: Don't want to meet like You'll hear things, especially when
Speaker 1: you see it online dating I don't want to smoker.
Speaker 1: I don't want a drinker. I don't want to liar.
Speaker 1: I don't want to cheater, Like they'll just run off
Speaker 1: a list of things that they've experienced. I don't want
Speaker 1: someone who you know, works at eyehop. I don't know,
Speaker 1: they'll just save those types of things plug for I hub.
Speaker 1: So how do we work backwards from that? Then? Yes? Um,
Speaker 1: then you just focus on what you do want. You
Speaker 1: mentioned the characteristic traits, but what about the deeper stuff
Speaker 1: like foundational compatibility? Do you ever when do you start
Speaker 1: to talk about, you know, things that matter to you,
Speaker 1: like goals and values and having children. Yes, someone a
Speaker 1: woman with ambition I think is incredibly sexy. Someone that
Speaker 1: like has career goals, someone that can kind of create
Speaker 1: a plan for themselves five ten years down the line,
Speaker 1: which is ironic because I am an ambitious person, but
Speaker 1: I definitely don't have that outline set for myself five
Speaker 1: or ten years. So maybe it's kind of like the
Speaker 1: the union yang of that. But um, I mean, I
Speaker 1: think any guy is going to find ambition sexy. It's
Speaker 1: actually the I think it's said thirty eight percent according
Speaker 1: to match dot COM's survey they do an annual report
Speaker 1: called Singles in America, and it was reported that the
Speaker 1: number one turn on that men reported was an entrepreneurial woman. Yeah,
Speaker 1: um what else? What else are we talking about? Turn ons?
Speaker 1: I personally, I like a girl who is flexible in
Speaker 1: where they live and also flexible right right, someone who
Speaker 1: can move around. So I'm a bit of a gypsy.
Speaker 1: I've I've lived in a lot of places, um, and
Speaker 1: I don't mind small spaces, so like camp bands and whatnot.
Speaker 1: I'm what do you think of Montreal? Okay? Why? What's
Speaker 1: a very specific place to ask? Yeah, I know somebody
Speaker 1: who's like gypsy like that? Yeah? Um, so on mom
Speaker 1: versus matchmaker, we we curated a lot of dates, so
Speaker 1: I'd love to hear either some dating um dating faux
Speaker 1: pas like bad experiences or dates that you guys really like,
Speaker 1: like fun dates. Well I'll tell you. So we have
Speaker 1: Valentine's Day tomorrow and this is a secret, so this
Speaker 1: days between the three of us and everyone else listening. Well,
Speaker 1: I don't think this podcast is going to be published
Speaker 1: until later tonight, which means I just have to avoid
Speaker 1: her from listening to it between today and tomorrow. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I'm driving us up to Santa Barbara. She's not here,
Speaker 1: she's not she's not here. Now driving us up to
Speaker 1: Santa Barbara. Got a hotel for us for a couple
Speaker 1: of nights. Tomorrow morning on Valentine's Day, I'm taking her skydiving,
Speaker 1: and then we're going to a couple of spot and
Speaker 1: then we're just gonna get dinner that night. So that's
Speaker 1: kind of like the idea that I had for us
Speaker 1: for Valentine's Day. She wasn't. She will be to the
Speaker 1: man who doesn't plan anything right anything. What's funny about
Speaker 1: this is so she's sky of a few times, she's
Speaker 1: bungee jumps a few times. She's very adventurous. Have you
Speaker 1: done that. I've skydos, but I never never bungee jumps.
Speaker 1: But it's funny because I was asking her. I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna tell you what we're doing for Valentine's Day,
Speaker 1: but what are like the three things that you really
Speaker 1: don't want to do, like no matter what, like you'd
Speaker 1: be upset. And she's like, she's like, just don't make
Speaker 1: me jump out of an airplane. So why did you
Speaker 1: go against Well? This was I asked her that after
Speaker 1: I had booked it, I book don't. Um, so there
Speaker 1: it is if you plan stuff, and that's my biggest
Speaker 1: fear of planning. They're not going to like what I planned.
Speaker 1: But then she said, no matter what you plan, like,
Speaker 1: don't cancel it. I don't want to mess with fate
Speaker 1: that kind of thing. So, um, I know once we
Speaker 1: get there, she's gonna be excited for it, but I
Speaker 1: just think like the leading up to it, the anticipation
Speaker 1: might get to her a little bit. I'd have to say, Dean,
Speaker 1: that's a pretty epic date. And that's the thing, especially
Speaker 1: with with Valentine's Day. I hate the faux pause. I
Speaker 1: hate the chocolate flowers dinner date. Yeah, just because you're
Speaker 1: not gonna remember that in five years, five years, ten years.
Speaker 1: I even think back to like two Valentine's Days ago. Um,
Speaker 1: I was dating a girl and I can't remember exactly
Speaker 1: what we did because I'm sure we just want to
Speaker 1: didn't didn't necessarily make it very very special or memorable.
Speaker 1: Um So that's kind of that's kind of my So, So,
Speaker 1: what's the most memorable Valentine's Day that you've been given?
Speaker 1: And what's the most memorable Valentine's date that you've been given. Uh,
Speaker 1: I'll get first first, as everyone's looking at me, I suppose.
Speaker 1: I mean again like, I've never been very materialistic. I
Speaker 1: don't dig deep into my bank account and I never
Speaker 1: really had that option anyway, So I always just made something.
Speaker 1: And I remember we went down to this. I had
Speaker 1: this little wharf down by my house where I to
Speaker 1: sit down and have red wine and fish and chips
Speaker 1: on the water. Yeah. I set up this tripe on
Speaker 1: my camera and we were just sitting on the end
Speaker 1: of the wharf and I got this really long exposure
Speaker 1: shot and so I captured all the stars and whatever.
Speaker 1: I got printed on canvas, like massive bit of canvas
Speaker 1: and stapled it onto a piece of ply wood and
Speaker 1: made a frame out of an old door and it
Speaker 1: was huge, really big, And so I gave that to her,
Speaker 1: but little handwritten message on the map, that's great and
Speaker 1: what's what's the most thoughtful thing a woman has done
Speaker 1: for you? Um? Does that answer the question? I don't
Speaker 1: know what a long relationship steen Valentine's and not one
Speaker 1: memorable one. Well before the whole bachelorette and bachelor experience,
Speaker 1: I was in a relationship for seven years. Okay, was
Speaker 1: there anything memorable or was she not thoughtful? Uh? No,
Speaker 1: she was but and and she always had full time
Speaker 1: jobs and whatnot. No, I was the gypsy running around
Speaker 1: the world. And um, so she always did buy me stuff.
Speaker 1: And she worked in the fashion industry, so I used
Speaker 1: to get a new jacket or she kept you stylish important,
Speaker 1: that's great, look good? Um for me. My most memorable
Speaker 1: Valentine's Day, it wasn't what which I was given, but
Speaker 1: it was I was like a sophomore in college. Um,
Speaker 1: similar to Courton. You didn't really ever have much money.
Speaker 1: So I think we ordered Chinese food into art to
Speaker 1: the house that I lived in and turned my room
Speaker 1: into like a romantic date thing. And there was I
Speaker 1: had this lamp that sat on the floor and I
Speaker 1: wanted to set the ambiance, so I threw like a
Speaker 1: pink shirt over it to like obviously create like a ah,
Speaker 1: that's so great, how old are you? That was nineteen.
Speaker 1: But the thing is, the reason it was memorable is
Speaker 1: because the shirt caught on fire, and so half with
Speaker 1: through dinner we realized that something smelled not like Chinese
Speaker 1: foods gone wrong. But I don't think I don't think
Speaker 1: I can think of any other Valentine's Day where it
Speaker 1: was someone had went out of their way to do
Speaker 1: something nice for me. I had a really um great
Speaker 1: it was Christmas, actually, but I could see how it
Speaker 1: could be Valentine's Day for someone who's on a budget,
Speaker 1: right someone on no, no, no, I'm someone you know
Speaker 1: dates on a budget. In fact, with our show, most
Speaker 1: of our our our our funnest date is funnest toward um.
Speaker 1: The best dates that we had were always dates that
Speaker 1: were created by the single. Season two is already out,
Speaker 1: So in one episode of season two, the single who
Speaker 1: we are trying to match loved board games. So the
Speaker 1: person I chose took it upon himself to make a
Speaker 1: board game for her, incorporating all of her favorite board
Speaker 1: games into one. So like spin the bottle sold have
Speaker 1: a spin, it would land on an action piece. They
Speaker 1: get to do shots, they get to learn about themselves,
Speaker 1: they get to ask questions. It was epic. I won't
Speaker 1: tell you who one, but it was great. Any game
Speaker 1: that encourages drinking is a game exactly. Yeah. Alcohol is
Speaker 1: a great thing to involve. It can take it can
Speaker 1: take the first night to a home run in the
Speaker 1: same night, which I think is Um. Alright, well, Carmelio,
Speaker 1: so we're wrapping up here. Do you want to plug anything?
Speaker 1: Like she mentioned earlier, we are on season three of
Speaker 1: Momberus Matchmaker on Mixed TV. Yes, Um, is there anything
Speaker 1: else you're working on? Yeah? Well, actually I'm in l
Speaker 1: a promoting season three, So tonight we'll be doing a
Speaker 1: Facebook live on the Mixed TV page Facebook Live at
Speaker 1: mixed TV. Tomorrow I'm doing a full takeover for Mixed
Speaker 1: TV Socials. A reminder, you can catch seasons one and
Speaker 1: season two on mixed tv dot com at mom versus Matchmaker.
Speaker 1: And yeah, any singles who have dating advice or who
Speaker 1: need or want advice send us your questions, visit me
Speaker 1: live and stay tuned perfect And that is I hate.
Speaker 1: I don't want to watch the name Carmelia Ray, Carmelia Carmela.
Speaker 1: That's funny. My high school girlriend's name was Carmelo I
Speaker 1: A And there you go. Um, all right, well, thank
Speaker 1: you so much for joining us. Um again, check out
Speaker 1: Mixed TV Mombrous Matchmaker. We're in season three right now,
Speaker 1: and um, yeah, we'll be sure to look out for you.
Speaker 1: We'll watch the Facebook live tonight and I'll look up
Speaker 1: for you guys. Yes, please do your again for us
Speaker 1: if you if you have any advice for us after
Speaker 1: watching that's your games. Please I am going to be
Speaker 1: raving fan and I will be there in the end
Speaker 1: to help you guys. Perfect you're looking forward to well.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, so thank you so much again
Speaker 1: to Carmelio for joining us in studio. UM. One thing
Speaker 1: we didn't really touch on that I think is vitally
Speaker 1: important to any relationship, just any individual for that matter.
Speaker 1: It's just staying in good physical condition. Um. And the
Speaker 1: best way to do that is just do it at
Speaker 1: your home, at your leisure, whenever you want, on demand.
Speaker 1: And the best way to do that, as we continue
Speaker 1: to iterate upon this idea, is use beach Body on demand.
Speaker 1: It's honestly the best. You don't have to get up
Speaker 1: and go to the gym, you don't have to deal
Speaker 1: with the overcrowded weight section, cardio section, all that kind
Speaker 1: of stuff. You can basically just do it in the
Speaker 1: convenience of your living room. It's accessible in your computer,
Speaker 1: your smart TV, your tablet, your smartphone. You don't have
Speaker 1: to go to the gym. Worried about scheduling a class
Speaker 1: any of that type of stuff. Um, what's best about
Speaker 1: this too is if you need help in the kitchen,
Speaker 1: which is honestly where I struggle the most. I could
Speaker 1: work out every single day and still be kind of
Speaker 1: a fat piece of crap because I don't really eat
Speaker 1: healthy enough. But what they do is they help with
Speaker 1: the nutritional information that you need to lose weight, tone up,
Speaker 1: bulk up, whatever it is for your fitness goals. You
Speaker 1: can try all this stuff for free. Uh what Okay?
Speaker 1: You can try all this stuff for free six hunder
Speaker 1: workouts through traditional information. All you have to do is
Speaker 1: texting to thirty thirty thirty that's d E A N
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Speaker 1: a half, a month and a half into two eighteen,
Speaker 1: and Um, a lot of people maybe have given up
Speaker 1: on their near resolutions. A lot of people's resolutions are
Speaker 1: to be in better, better shape. Um, it's it's not
Speaker 1: that hard. All you have to do is use beach
Speaker 1: Body on demand. You'll do it at your house, you'll
Speaker 1: do whatever you want, um, and even if it's small,
Speaker 1: little you know, twenty minute sessions, hour long sessions, however
Speaker 1: long it is. That's what's nice about beach Body on Demand.
Speaker 1: You can really choose whatever you're in the mood for
Speaker 1: um at your leisure. So yeah, texting you'll get a
Speaker 1: full access to the entire platform for free, all the workouts,
Speaker 1: all the nutritional information, um, which is just a crazy deal.
Speaker 1: So give it a shot. I just got a physical
Speaker 1: and how to speaking of physical condition, where do they
Speaker 1: see me next year after you're a beach Body on demand.
Speaker 1: They're not ready. They're not going to recognize into that place.
Speaker 1: I'm here, by the way, I wasn't here before. Welcome back,
Speaker 1: Thank you very much. Dad's back. So okay, So now
Speaker 1: we're gonna have a caller. UM, this is going to
Speaker 1: be Julie Caine. We'll obviously let her introduce herself. I
Speaker 1: don't want to lead into too much about this, but
Speaker 1: let's get Julie on the phone if we can. Hi, Julie,
Speaker 1: this is Dean. Are you there, Yeah, David, I have
Speaker 1: to call you puppy. You're so young, call me puppy.
Speaker 1: Oh no, yeah, So, now what do you want to know.
Speaker 1: You know, first of all, some of my friends are
Speaker 1: mad at you because you hurt Christina s failing and
Speaker 1: the other thing. My neighbor next door, her name is Christina.
Speaker 1: And guess what what did she say? I wrote it down.
Speaker 1: She told me she said she would like wait, she
Speaker 1: would take Dean home and show him what older women
Speaker 1: are all about. How old she Julia. I just want
Speaker 1: to let you know you're on air. No, I'm not
Speaker 1: on the podcast. You're on the podcast the same thing.
Speaker 1: We'll call it the air. It's in the air, it's
Speaker 1: in the cloud. I don't know how it really works,
Speaker 1: but I want you to also know that you're joined
Speaker 1: with me, Mark Easton, my friend Courtney Um. And to
Speaker 1: your point, yes, I do deserve a lot of flack
Speaker 1: what happened between Christine and me, Um, But that was
Speaker 1: a long time ago. I've learned from my mistakes. This
Speaker 1: podcast has really helped kind of, you know, get my
Speaker 1: butt into shape and really kind of hunkered down and
Speaker 1: figure out what's important to me. So I hope that
Speaker 1: your friends don't hate me anymore. I hope you guys
Speaker 1: are tuning into about your Winter Games maybe tonight and
Speaker 1: see you know firsthand that I am. I am, and
Speaker 1: have learned a lot since that kind of bad experience
Speaker 1: in Paradise. Okay, but Julie phillis in on you a
Speaker 1: little bit. So Um, as far as I understand that you,
Speaker 1: I guess I don't want to be a presumptious you
Speaker 1: fill us in on kind of where you're at right now. Okay,
Speaker 1: um Um, I was married forty five years. My husband
Speaker 1: died in January, and I started, Um, I had been
Speaker 1: dating this guy for eighteen months, and you know he's
Speaker 1: steven nine, I'm seventy five. But I will tell you, Um,
Speaker 1: I really a friend of mine, her daughter was staying
Speaker 1: with me, and she got me on our website called Zook,
Speaker 1: and I went, well, I only did coffee. I don't
Speaker 1: do I never did lunch at dinner because you know,
Speaker 1: I was just kind of learning and for the rope,
Speaker 1: learning the rope. So anyways, what I did, a lot
Speaker 1: of guys, I mean, they're sure they gotta tummy. Um,
Speaker 1: I'm kind of I'm really in the cars, and you
Speaker 1: know I don't do subarus or chargers, and you know
Speaker 1: I don't do that kind of stuff with a six
Speaker 1: pack in a rolls Royce. Yes, something. Well, they don't
Speaker 1: need a six pack at my age, but you know,
Speaker 1: I mean there are there are a lot of jugs
Speaker 1: out there. But I do think the dating web dating
Speaker 1: websites are good for people my age. I guess my
Speaker 1: question for you is how has dating changed from those
Speaker 1: times in the sixties too, now that you're able to
Speaker 1: be reintroduced to the dating pool. The dating um. You know,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you something. It is kind of fun, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it really is. What's what's the most fun part about it?
Speaker 1: What's the most fun party that you can There's a
Speaker 1: lot of bonuses you can you can't get pregnant, you
Speaker 1: don't care about marriage. You don't care if they spend
Speaker 1: the night and think, and I don't care if they
Speaker 1: used by egg. That they all do well, said Julie
Speaker 1: could have said a bit of myself. So does this dating?
Speaker 1: Does this apply for more of people of a certain
Speaker 1: age or That's kind of what you're getting at is
Speaker 1: you can kind of act a little bit less inhibited. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you can be more freely. Yeah. I don't know anyone,
Speaker 1: but you said earlier you like to get these coffee
Speaker 1: dates and not really much lunch, but now that I'm
Speaker 1: in a relationship. Oh you are in a relationship, yeah
Speaker 1: for eighteen months, but you know that comes and goes well,
Speaker 1: so as as far as I understand it, Um, you're
Speaker 1: interested in another man, Yes, I am. We need to
Speaker 1: hear about that. You know, it's kind of fun. I
Speaker 1: just kind of stressing around a little bit. Yeah, you've
Speaker 1: got a sniff around the go sniffing you know, you know, yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: And obviously you haven't lost your sense smell yet, so
Speaker 1: that's it's still useful. Julie can ask you a question, Um,
Speaker 1: what are you so your your husband and I'm sorry
Speaker 1: again passed away in eleven? Did you say so? Since then?
Speaker 1: Since then? Um, you know, what sort of what were
Speaker 1: you looking for in a relationship? Were you like, all right,
Speaker 1: I've been married, I've done the whole Mary, I'm not
Speaker 1: sure you've got kids. Maybe you have, but you've done
Speaker 1: that part of your life. Were you looking just to
Speaker 1: kind of play around a little bit to live maybe
Speaker 1: back in your twenties? Yeah, but yes I was. That's
Speaker 1: what I'm looking for. And this guy that I'm dating,
Speaker 1: he's on a type budjet and it's not working for me, right,
Speaker 1: so you want someone who's got a little bit of
Speaker 1: cash in the pocket, just spoil you rotten. We'll go No, No,
Speaker 1: if we travel, I'll paid my own way and he
Speaker 1: paid his way. You know, we can split dinners. I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't want to depend on a man at my
Speaker 1: agent because I have money. I'm very independent now. Perfect.
Speaker 1: As long as the pockets always full of Viagram, you'll
Speaker 1: be fine, right. You know. I went to the doctor
Speaker 1: and I got all fixed up again too. You know,
Speaker 1: amazing a couple of stitches. I don't know what that means.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I want to know what that means.
Speaker 1: I know what you mean, Julia on the same page
Speaker 1: as you, don't You are these young uns over here,
Speaker 1: So Julia tell us about this new guy. He's definite
Speaker 1: nine really, but he's good in the bedroom, Julie, because
Speaker 1: it sounds like that's what you're looking for. Yeah, he
Speaker 1: loves to go to the carnival. Perfect, don't we all
Speaker 1: rod the merry go around? Yeah, yeah, you know what
Speaker 1: carnival is. I'm just assuming you're speaking in code on
Speaker 1: the end, but that's when I stay. Yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 1: love it. I think we could learn a few things
Speaker 1: from yourself, Julia, I mean think alder women have. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: so it's a myth that the desire drops and you
Speaker 1: get into your seventies. If a myth, if anything sounds
Speaker 1: like any does it actually dropped? Kind that women are
Speaker 1: going to just agree in their late fifty but you can,
Speaker 1: you know, get out if you go to your doctor, Julie.
Speaker 1: If there's one thing that I can relate to you
Speaker 1: that I've learned through hosting this podcast for the past
Speaker 1: three months is that communication is incredibly important. I know
Speaker 1: you're probably you're you're thinking, this guy's twenty six. I'm
Speaker 1: you know, seventy four. I've been through this before. I
Speaker 1: don't want to listen to him at all. I just
Speaker 1: want to say communication is incredibly important. Um So, if
Speaker 1: you're thinking about having feelings for another guy, just take
Speaker 1: that into consideration. You know, definitely you're you definitely don't
Speaker 1: want to break anyone's heart. You definitely don't want to
Speaker 1: lead anyone on. Um we don't want to have another
Speaker 1: Christina situation on our hands here. That's the last thing
Speaker 1: any of us want. But it sounds like you're having
Speaker 1: a lot of fun and we definitely can't talk you
Speaker 1: too much for that, um, and I'm happy to hear
Speaker 1: that you know, after your your forty five year long marriage,
Speaker 1: that you're able to kind of get back on the horse,
Speaker 1: no pun intended, and it kind of enjoy yourself a
Speaker 1: little bit. Well, that's what I'm doing. That's exactly what
Speaker 1: I'm doing. And you know, I kept my shape and
Speaker 1: I had a pace left, so I feel really good
Speaker 1: being out there. That's amazing. That's amazing, and it's great
Speaker 1: that you're comfortable in your own skin and all that
Speaker 1: kind of stuff. One of these days when you're down
Speaker 1: in Los Angeles, if you make it down here, I
Speaker 1: love to meet you in person because you seem like
Speaker 1: a firecracker and I just I love to have fun.
Speaker 1: In fact, everybody always said, oh, we can't have a
Speaker 1: party without Julie because you know, I just part Let's
Speaker 1: get that hashtag trending on Instagram. You can't have a
Speaker 1: party without Julie. Yeah, Well, I know, Amy, Sugarman, so
Speaker 1: we can go through. I can go through her. Perfect
Speaker 1: sounds like a plan. And I'm up up in the
Speaker 1: Bay Area every once in a while, so maybe we'll
Speaker 1: cross paths one of these But yeah, I know I
Speaker 1: have a Las Vegas number, but because we live there,
Speaker 1: but then I moved to Latea, So yeah, please, I'd
Speaker 1: love to go out and talk and get to know
Speaker 1: you're better, but not in that way. On that way, Julie,
Speaker 1: as a grandmother, everyone could everyone could use that type
Speaker 1: of relationship in us. All right, we'll Julie, thank you
Speaker 1: so much for calling, and we do appreciate you sharing
Speaker 1: your story. And again, if I can stress one thing,
Speaker 1: it's communication and honesty. Um, but it sounds like you're
Speaker 1: having a blast week. We can't. We can't knock you there,
Speaker 1: So thank you so much for calling in. Maybe we'll
Speaker 1: circle back with you in a couple of months and
Speaker 1: see how things have progressed and just kind of catch
Speaker 1: up with you. Okay, thank you, take care, good luck
Speaker 1: with everything. I have a good Valentine's Day. Well, she
Speaker 1: was interesting. That's exciting. I'm glad that that's not going
Speaker 1: to go away, because I feel like those go I
Speaker 1: assume my parents aren't interested in that anymore, certainly not grandparents,
Speaker 1: but maybe they are. They're just keeping it from us.
Speaker 1: I would say that they're keeping it from you, probably
Speaker 1: for good reason. It's gross that that may seem yeah,
Speaker 1: would you like to be no interest in that? But
Speaker 1: good for them. I hope that's still going on. That's good.
Speaker 1: Glad to hear that you can be that promiscuous. I
Speaker 1: suppose as well. At yeah, at the rock Pold, I
Speaker 1: just have any fool. He's dotting around the world and
Speaker 1: I'm visitting carnivals all over the over the planet, carnivals
Speaker 1: rotting older the rods at the park they were. I
Speaker 1: don't easily get uncomfortable, um, but there's just something about
Speaker 1: that that just makes me uncomfortable. I get it. I
Speaker 1: understand that, and I mean, we're happy for her, and
Speaker 1: I'm glad she's happy, but yeah, yeah, I understand. It's
Speaker 1: one of those things where it's like you're you're happy
Speaker 1: for them, but you're like kind of gross out a little. Anyways,
Speaker 1: what I hope that Julie gets for Valentine's Day tomorrow.
Speaker 1: I hope that one of these guys that she's dating,
Speaker 1: that she's going to these carnivals with, is at least
Speaker 1: taking into consideration that she has needs as a human being,
Speaker 1: and one of those needs is to look fresh and
Speaker 1: fly and fashion forward, fashion forward. If I could talk
Speaker 1: and the best way to do that, if if if
Speaker 1: they're on a budget, which it sounds like one of
Speaker 1: the guys that she's dating is UM, is to go
Speaker 1: through thread up dot com. And so what thread up
Speaker 1: dot com is basically this online thrift store where you
Speaker 1: can set some filters, you can set your size, your styles,
Speaker 1: your colors, all that kind of stuff. UM. And instead
Speaker 1: of having to go to one of these thrift stores
Speaker 1: to sort through rac after rac after rac and probably
Speaker 1: not find anything at all, is you're able to do
Speaker 1: all of that online. You're able to get anything that
Speaker 1: you want, uh, that you find online for up to off,
Speaker 1: which is fantastic. A lot of these items still have
Speaker 1: tags on them, never even been worn. Every single item
Speaker 1: has been through a twelve point in quality inspection process
Speaker 1: ensuring that every item is like new or a new condition.
Speaker 1: So if you go to thread up dot com slash Dean,
Speaker 1: that's thread up th h r E d up dot
Speaker 1: com slash Dean, you'll get an extra thirty percent off
Speaker 1: your very first order. UM. Whenever I get a do
Speaker 1: like that, I just throw things in the shopping cars.
Speaker 1: If you get one first order and you get thirty
Speaker 1: percent off the already up to make it make it
Speaker 1: a big one plus the retail price. So yeah, so
Speaker 1: you could spend a hundred dollars and potentially save nine
Speaker 1: on that plus the thirty percent. That's good. I think
Speaker 1: that math works. UM give it a shot. Go to
Speaker 1: thread up dot com slash Dan, t h R E,
Speaker 1: d U P dot com slash Dean for an extra
Speaker 1: thirty percent off. Again, it's just your first order, so
Speaker 1: load up that shopping cart with everything you want. They
Speaker 1: make returns easy as well. Uh. Sometimes with those closes,
Speaker 1: sizing can be difficult, so if you get something doesn't
Speaker 1: fit you quite right, you can send it right back
Speaker 1: and they'll um either send you the right size or
Speaker 1: give you US store credit all that kind of stuff. Um.
Speaker 1: Thread up dot com slash Dean extraty percent off the
Speaker 1: already up to off retail prices on a lot of
Speaker 1: these cool things. We have so many emails and we
Speaker 1: haven't gotten to any of them, but a lot, a
Speaker 1: lot with suggestions for the name of this show, and well,
Speaker 1: I really I think you'd actually be boring to go
Speaker 1: through all of these because there are so many. So
Speaker 1: I've picked out a couple that I really like. This person,
Speaker 1: Maren really likes dating deanong alert, which is my idea
Speaker 1: for the name of the show dating. So we talked
Speaker 1: about this a little bit before you you did, okay um.
Speaker 1: I think last week I mentioned dating with Dean or
Speaker 1: dating Dean had merit, but I think that people keep
Speaker 1: iterating it to dating with Dean, and I like, like
Speaker 1: dating with Dean as much as dating Dean. Anglert like
Speaker 1: forgetting Sarah Marshall, like being Jean Malkovich, Like I read
Speaker 1: the examples, maybe, but I like the form of it.
Speaker 1: Give me, how does how does we're getting Sara Marshall
Speaker 1: applied to that? It doesn't at all. It's just it's
Speaker 1: just the the phrase forgetting Dan Unglet Yeah, forgetting bachelor.
Speaker 1: I don't mind anyway this person like that, And they
Speaker 1: did say add with okay, fine, that's Maren. I did like,
Speaker 1: who is the one that I really like? Let's see.
Speaker 1: Isabella had help when dating is rough dudes, and don't
Speaker 1: dating day to day dating dear Dean? She liked, how
Speaker 1: about day to day dudes, and don't with Dean. It's
Speaker 1: a little day to day dating dudes, and don't with Dean.
Speaker 1: Christy Krista has debatable dating advice with the Angler dating
Speaker 1: this okay, this is the one I like the most.
Speaker 1: This is amy since I feel you guys still need help.
Speaker 1: A thought of A thought of this one that's not
Speaker 1: a mouthful, it's not negative and some of you all
Speaker 1: can agree on. I'm okay with this one. If you
Speaker 1: are navigating dating with Dean Angler navidating who never dated,
Speaker 1: I feel like the two words you do nat to
Speaker 1: can just combined them navigating dating dating. It's no. I
Speaker 1: think it's too tough for them, she says, love you, Dean,
Speaker 1: you are truly a resilient human. That is nice to
Speaker 1: her to say, just blindly dating with the Unglert Michelle
Speaker 1: had at ten of them. Can I ask you guys
Speaker 1: this as producers, because have been in this industry for
Speaker 1: a while. You how annoyed of me? Are you that
Speaker 1: I want? I'm lobbying so hard for this name change.
Speaker 1: Not me, not at all, not at all, um, because
Speaker 1: was this name your idea? Nope? Exactly, and we're aware
Speaker 1: of that. Are you offended by the name day? So,
Speaker 1: do you feel like you really suck at dating? Like
Speaker 1: I slapp in the face every time you walk in
Speaker 1: the studio? Exactly? And I think that only one person
Speaker 1: can sulf deprecate so much. And we've covered this to
Speaker 1: the point of Naja. And again that's kind of why
Speaker 1: I bring the topic up, that you guys might be
Speaker 1: annoyed by it. But it's like at first it was
Speaker 1: like a fun little gimmick and there's like fun little satire,
Speaker 1: but now it's just like, all right, the tricks, the
Speaker 1: tricks olds. You know, I think there are people annoyed
Speaker 1: with you, but I'm not one of them because I
Speaker 1: also I think it's a fun running bit, but also
Speaker 1: to get a new four years from now, we're still
Speaker 1: taking maybe, but I think I think we will come
Speaker 1: up with one that we like because it is I
Speaker 1: think it may be time to retire this one. I
Speaker 1: do agree with you, and it was thrust upon you, yes,
Speaker 1: but I mean I still agree to do it. So
Speaker 1: there's only so much wiggle room you can have there.
Speaker 1: But I do appreciate you guys aren't completely annoyed to
Speaker 1: the what's to your what's end right now. I enjoy
Speaker 1: the days you come in to record your poet. That's
Speaker 1: part of my week. And when you get a girlfriend,
Speaker 1: it's kind of doesn't really make that much sense, does it. Yes,
Speaker 1: well that's part of the problem. Yeah, exactly, Diting Dane,
Speaker 1: Diting with Dane. Relationship emails before we wrap it up, Karina,
Speaker 1: I've madating my boyfriend almost seven years. I love with
Speaker 1: all my heart and feel like he's my person and
Speaker 1: my soul mate. Before I go any further, she's twenty four,
Speaker 1: he's twenty two. They've been together seven years. Okay, so
Speaker 1: keep that in mind. We had our daughter very young
Speaker 1: when we started the relationships. So that's another factor here,
Speaker 1: is that they were teenagers when they started at a baby.
Speaker 1: As teenagers, we've been through a lot of ups and
Speaker 1: downs in our relationship. We were really young, we got together,
Speaker 1: had to face parenthood, still growing up. A year and
Speaker 1: a half now, we've been going steady and our relationship
Speaker 1: has been going great. At this point in my life,
Speaker 1: I don't see myself with anyone else. I'm ready to
Speaker 1: settle down, extend our family. I used to push marriage
Speaker 1: a lot, but I've stopped bringing it up. My co
Speaker 1: workers and friends remind me he's only twenty two, and
Speaker 1: even though I might be ready, he might still be
Speaker 1: trying to figure everything out. He has brought up the
Speaker 1: conversation here and there, but how he wants to make
Speaker 1: me his wife but we're still not engaged. I'm not
Speaker 1: sure if I should just let it happen or actually
Speaker 1: have the conversation again. I'm sure that I have made
Speaker 1: it clear that I want to get married, but I
Speaker 1: also don't want to scare him off. Seven years together
Speaker 1: should be enough time for him to know. I guess
Speaker 1: my question is when is the right time to bring
Speaker 1: it up. Otherwise I'm gonna be waiting forever and what
Speaker 1: if he decides later he doesn't want to get married
Speaker 1: and I'm wasting my time? Thanks Dan, ps I hope
Speaker 1: you get your podcast name changed. Yeah, cheers to you, Karina.
Speaker 1: This is a tough one. This is a This is
Speaker 1: a unique one, very because you don't really often see
Speaker 1: uh teenage parents that have been in this this long
Speaker 1: of a relationship. Right, you know you're going to be
Speaker 1: connected to this guy for the rest of your life.
Speaker 1: Here's a child. Here's my thing with this. And I
Speaker 1: could be wrong because I'm neither married nor do I
Speaker 1: have kids, but I think having a kid with someone
Speaker 1: is more pivotal to a relationship than marrying someone. You
Speaker 1: could certainly make that argument. Yes, that that is a
Speaker 1: closer bond, yeah than in a marriage even could be,
Speaker 1: although there are people who have a one night standing
Speaker 1: there's very little bond. But I see what you're saying.
Speaker 1: But the fact that they're still in a relationship up
Speaker 1: seven years after already having kids together, I feel like
Speaker 1: that kid is more bonding than the marriage, like you said,
Speaker 1: And so I think that she's worried that by bringing
Speaker 1: up the idea of marriage to him, she's going to
Speaker 1: scare him off. But if they still have that daughter together,
Speaker 1: then he's seemingly not going to go anywhere. I don't
Speaker 1: understand his hesitancy. That'd be interesting to get to him
Speaker 1: on it. But also he's twenty two. Keep that in mind.
Speaker 1: Here's my thing. If you have a child with someone,
Speaker 1: you are now dedicated to that child to raise that
Speaker 1: child to the best of your ability and what is
Speaker 1: best for that child exactly, and what's best for that
Speaker 1: child more times than not, and I don't know exactly,
Speaker 1: but it's for them to have a mother and father
Speaker 1: that are living in the same house. I would agree
Speaker 1: with that at least two loving parents. So that's my advice.
Speaker 1: I don't think that she should be scared to bring
Speaker 1: it up with him and be like, hey, this is
Speaker 1: what I need from you right now. And I can
Speaker 1: understand why she wants to get married, like it's probably
Speaker 1: the kids, probably like five or six years older. Less.
Speaker 1: She didn't say here, but but it seems like, yeah.
Speaker 1: I wonder like did she put a deadline on it?
Speaker 1: Does she think like, I really don't put a deadline
Speaker 1: right because there's the kids always going to be there,
Speaker 1: So I stick it out as both a husband and
Speaker 1: a father. What do you what do you advise? I
Speaker 1: would love to talk to this guy and see where
Speaker 1: his heads that because I know when I was twenty two,
Speaker 1: I was nowhere near ready to get married, nowhere near
Speaker 1: ready to have kids. No, that's very true. I remember
Speaker 1: being with a woman when I was around twenty two.
Speaker 1: Wi ish uh, and I ended it for that reason,
Speaker 1: like I'm not going to marry this woman and this
Speaker 1: is getting really serious. So I need to just stop
Speaker 1: this now before it gets any further and people get
Speaker 1: hurt worse because this isn't happening. I'm twenty two, I'm
Speaker 1: not ready the kid. Was it on purpose? I doubt it?
Speaker 1: So I wonder if that's a factor like this guy's
Speaker 1: like it feels a little trapped, maybe by the you
Speaker 1: don't want to say mistakes, but the decisions they've made,
Speaker 1: the choices they've made. It might feel trapped by that,
Speaker 1: I think. I think, I think you got to wait
Speaker 1: it out and bring it up gently from time to time,
Speaker 1: but hopefully he'll come around. Corny, I feel like there's
Speaker 1: just a whole lot of pressure in this situation. I
Speaker 1: think she's putting too much pressure and emphasis on marriage
Speaker 1: when they've got a kid and that's a binding enough factor.
Speaker 1: I think in a relationship they'll stay together because of that.
Speaker 1: He's twenty two. I think he's probably having pressure third
Speaker 1: party from his mates. I mean, how many friends of
Speaker 1: yours were married at twenty two. I mean, I'm sure
Speaker 1: the boys when he goes out for a boy's night
Speaker 1: there and go, you know when you're gonna pop the question?
Speaker 1: And we used to do it to my friend who's
Speaker 1: been in a relationship for ten years, and we always
Speaker 1: used to say. We used to mock him and be like,
Speaker 1: oh when when when you getting the ring? When are
Speaker 1: you dropping a knee? And I think that kind of
Speaker 1: pressure from your friends is enough to kind of want
Speaker 1: to not do it at the age of twenty two.
Speaker 1: I think he'll probably feel it when it's rot and
Speaker 1: I feel like maybe she's putting too much pressure on
Speaker 1: him as well. But here's the thing too, because he
Speaker 1: she was saying that he will sometimes bring up an
Speaker 1: engagement in marriage all that kind of stuff, so it's
Speaker 1: definitely in his head. Maybe he's just waiting for the
Speaker 1: right moment. Yeah, yeah, wedding the pressure is issue is
Speaker 1: interesting because the other element of that is getting married. Also,
Speaker 1: as the guy in the traditional gender roles, he's going
Speaker 1: to feel the pressure of him now having to support
Speaker 1: this child, which I'm sorry, he's already working his tail
Speaker 1: off and support her. Potentially, there's a lot of pressure
Speaker 1: in that. I remember not wanting to propose until I
Speaker 1: was more comfortable financially because you just feel the pressure
Speaker 1: of that in your life. You don't want to be
Speaker 1: scrambling and be married with a kid. Weddings are not cheap,
Speaker 1: and you want to do it right. I guess here's
Speaker 1: my question for for her, for everyone in the studio too,
Speaker 1: is I advise not to give him like the ultimatum,
Speaker 1: Like I don't think that should be Like you need
Speaker 1: to at least have your mind made up in six
Speaker 1: months or something like that. But let's say that they
Speaker 1: keep going down this path, that the child is brought
Speaker 1: up under both of them for the next five ten years,
Speaker 1: and then he decides he doesn't want to be with
Speaker 1: her anymore. Wouldn't that almost be better because then that
Speaker 1: allows the child to have been brought up I guess,
Speaker 1: and all look at least a more familial setting, and
Speaker 1: then they can start dating again. I don't know. I'm
Speaker 1: just trying to I've got friends who are in their
Speaker 1: late thirties and who have kids and are not married
Speaker 1: and don't put emphasis on marriage and weddings and rings.
Speaker 1: And it's like, at the end of the day, what
Speaker 1: is it. It's a big party, you dressed up nice,
Speaker 1: you get some cool photos, you wear a ring on
Speaker 1: your finger. I mean, some people do put too much emphasis,
Speaker 1: I think, on marriage when realistically it's about the relationship.
Speaker 1: Well that's something Karinis should think about it. And I
Speaker 1: forget who I think it was a celebrity couple maybe,
Speaker 1: but they were they've been together forever, but they never
Speaker 1: got married. And the reasoning is we're together because we
Speaker 1: want to be here and if we didn't want to
Speaker 1: be here, we would leave. And we don't need a
Speaker 1: piece of paper to force us to be together. We're
Speaker 1: here because we want to be So maybe you think
Speaker 1: of it that way. Your your your man Karina is
Speaker 1: there because he wants to be there, and you'll both
Speaker 1: be there as long as you want to be that's true.
Speaker 1: So I think the consensus here is do not do
Speaker 1: not push him to make a decision of things, just
Speaker 1: kind of unfold or allow him to mature, and at
Speaker 1: a certain age he's going to realize what's important, what
Speaker 1: he wants, what his priorities are, and hopefully it's the
Speaker 1: child and hopefully it's great. I know we talked about
Speaker 1: age a lot on this podcast. He's twenty two, she's
Speaker 1: twenty four. And I know it's hard to like generalize
Speaker 1: and and all that kind of stuff, but he's younger
Speaker 1: than she is. She's had a child. I would venture
Speaker 1: to say that she's more mature, so she's more ready
Speaker 1: for the marriage aspect. He um to Courtney's point of
Speaker 1: seeing all his friends go out and you know, go
Speaker 1: to the bars, all that kind of stuff. Um, but
Speaker 1: the fact that he is still around is very telling.
Speaker 1: That he wants to be there. He's just like struggling
Speaker 1: maybe with his identity, what whether he wants to be
Speaker 1: a father, whether he wants to go out with his
Speaker 1: friends and party that kind of stuff. But he's there.
Speaker 1: He's there because he wants to be right. And you're right.
Speaker 1: Women are always more mature than men. I think, like,
Speaker 1: if you're at the same age, the woman is more mature.
Speaker 1: So the fact that she's two years older than she
Speaker 1: is than he is, she's way more mature. All Right.
Speaker 1: This woman just calls herself, Am I crazy? Yes? All right?
Speaker 1: She's twenty six, he's twenty eight. And I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: summarize this one because I think I've got it down
Speaker 1: pretty well. Um. They were having some issues, some tense situations,
Speaker 1: and she was about to leave for a trip to Europe,
Speaker 1: and she said, I can't do this anymore. Let's break up,
Speaker 1: and he kind of flipped about that. The next morning
Speaker 1: they talked and she said, Okay, let look, I'm going
Speaker 1: to Europe. Let's take a week. We're gonna think things
Speaker 1: through and see if he can invest in our relationship.
Speaker 1: She leaves for Europe, she comes back and he's weird
Speaker 1: he's weird because he then admits that he slept with
Speaker 1: someone while she She was furious, but more saddened by
Speaker 1: everything in the thought of losing her person. That's a
Speaker 1: very sweet and sad way of putting it. She still
Speaker 1: wants to be with him, and they've they've spoken sense,
Speaker 1: but he will not admit that he cheated because he
Speaker 1: says this situation was not cheating because back to the
Speaker 1: Old Friends episode, we were on a break. She says,
Speaker 1: we weren't on a break. We're gonna take a week
Speaker 1: and think about things, but that doesn't constitute a break necessarily,
Speaker 1: and he was in the wrong. She really wants him
Speaker 1: as part of her life, even if it's just friendship.
Speaker 1: She says that my nuts, I've always gone with my
Speaker 1: gut and something is telling me to keep fighting for us.
Speaker 1: Should I just move on and leave it behind or
Speaker 1: follow my intuition? Oh this is the ps that that
Speaker 1: bothered me. She said, I didn't much watch much of
Speaker 1: Rachel Lindsay's season, but I truly enjoyed this podcast. Your genuinity,
Speaker 1: which I don't believe is a word, but I like it,
Speaker 1: justin misused the word. Your Your genuinity is refreshing, and
Speaker 1: I love the relationship between you and Mark sort of
Speaker 1: father's son, oh man, But then followed up a big
Speaker 1: broll little bit. Yeah, I'll take big roll, little ro
Speaker 1: But then I did the math in my head. I
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, okay, father, so my son is actually
Speaker 1: older than Okay, so what do we think here? Follow
Speaker 1: your intuition, keep fighting. I think that if he actually cheated,
Speaker 1: and if she actually believed that he cheated on her,
Speaker 1: her gut wouldn't still be telling her to fight for him.
Speaker 1: So you don't think she believes he cheated, or at
Speaker 1: least doesn't believe he's a cheater. I'm gonna say, no,
Speaker 1: he didn't change. That's one. It's a tough one. But
Speaker 1: if they didn't have that conversation, which she initiated saying like,
Speaker 1: I feel like we need a break here, then if
Speaker 1: they were solid when she went to Europe, then it's
Speaker 1: a different story. If he saves someone, then that's a changing.
Speaker 1: But if they're on this bright thing from a woman's
Speaker 1: point of view, I think they look at this and say,
Speaker 1: he couldn't go a week without sleeping with somebody else?
Speaker 1: Did she means that little to him? That all she
Speaker 1: did was opened the door the slightest crack, and he
Speaker 1: runs out and gets into bed with somebody else. And
Speaker 1: that's the flip side for sure. I mean it's always
Speaker 1: funny too, especially when I don't think this relationship ended
Speaker 1: when she went for Europe once Europe, but um I
Speaker 1: had this. I'm sure there has been like like have
Speaker 1: wrote about it, like a meme about it or something
Speaker 1: like that, where when two people break up for however
Speaker 1: long they've been dating, the guy in the short term
Speaker 1: is very excited and very ready to move on to
Speaker 1: the next girl, and the girl is very heartbroken and
Speaker 1: not ready to move on. And then like I would say,
Speaker 1: like three weeks is kind of three weeks of the
Speaker 1: cut off line to where then the guy becomes depressed
Speaker 1: about not having that relationship and then the girl is excited.
Speaker 1: So it's like, oh wow, short term guys excited. Long
Speaker 1: term he's upset, short term girls upset, long term she's excited.
Speaker 1: Flips of three weeks, Yes, whatever the time is. But
Speaker 1: that's kind of like the way the maturation of the
Speaker 1: post mortem of the relationship, and it's also different ways
Speaker 1: of coper like that is a guy I have freedom,
Speaker 1: let me, let me, I'm gonna deal with my stress
Speaker 1: by proving I've still got it and go out and
Speaker 1: and then he realizes that he needs that other significant
Speaker 1: other than his life. Then it gets upset. I'm saying
Speaker 1: in this situation, the breakup, it sounds like they broke
Speaker 1: up in a sense because he fought for it. She
Speaker 1: was like, well, I don't know, I don't know what.
Speaker 1: Here's the quote. We would take a week to think
Speaker 1: things through, to see if he could invest in our relationship.
Speaker 1: So the week was established he was only going to
Speaker 1: be awake. It's not like that now, good point, it's
Speaker 1: only I actually love you and it's only been awake.
Speaker 1: It's not an open ended break in, which would be
Speaker 1: he'd be more free to do what you want. One
Speaker 1: makes it different, then, yeah, if you if you specified
Speaker 1: that it's only gonna be seven days and you actually
Speaker 1: are okay, we're gonna take a five year break. You
Speaker 1: cannot allow took up with anyone else. Five years. We're
Speaker 1: going to reassess our relationship, come back to it and
Speaker 1: see where we're from there. I don't know if I
Speaker 1: necessarily agree with that. Well, so here's the hurdle. Like
Speaker 1: it seems like they still want to be together right there.
Speaker 1: They're still talking, they're still around each other, and he
Speaker 1: won't admit to cheating. So I guess the question is,
Speaker 1: why is that so important to you? Am I crazy
Speaker 1: that he admits the cheating? Yeah? Why is that important?
Speaker 1: Here's the thing he's not admitting. He's admitting to a
Speaker 1: year idea of cheating. He's admitted to the thing that
Speaker 1: he performed, the physical, actually perform He admitted of that.
Speaker 1: He confessed it. Yes, so what you have to put
Speaker 1: a light blow it? Why is that so important? I'm
Speaker 1: wondering if maybe we can you two can get past this. However,
Speaker 1: you can get past it. He sees it one way,
Speaker 1: you see it another way. It is what it was.
Speaker 1: Did she sleep with anyone in Europe? That's the thing.
Speaker 1: Maybe she's upset that she didn't take that portunity. Maybe
Speaker 1: she tried to couldn't get anyone else. I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: go back to him. My advice is acknowledge what happened
Speaker 1: and move on with you and him as you are
Speaker 1: right now? Can that work? Don't worry about whether it
Speaker 1: was or wasn't infidelity. I don't think that he cheated
Speaker 1: on you. I don't think what he did was good,
Speaker 1: but I don't think it was cheating. I think that
Speaker 1: if you still have if your guy still tells you
Speaker 1: to pursue him, to pursue it. This is Rachel Um.
Speaker 1: It's interesting because I can relate to this one. She's
Speaker 1: twenty nine, pretty active data living in San Francisco. A
Speaker 1: few months ago, she matched with the guy in Bumble
Speaker 1: and they were trying to play. On their first date,
Speaker 1: she said, how about this cool pop up bar? He said,
Speaker 1: you know what, I don't drink, but I'd love to go,
Speaker 1: and I hope that's okay. She's okay, let's just get
Speaker 1: coffee and stead He said, okay. Uh. He followed up
Speaker 1: for a second date and she said no because the
Speaker 1: whole sober thing was in the back of her head.
Speaker 1: She's not a party girl, but drinking is part of
Speaker 1: her leisure and social life. She'd like it, and he
Speaker 1: significant other drink too. So last week she matched with
Speaker 1: another guy. Before they went out, he said, by the way,
Speaker 1: I don't drink. So she's attracting these guys for some reason.
Speaker 1: But she was hesitant, but she did go out with them.
Speaker 1: It was great, but she did feel like there was
Speaker 1: an elephant in the room when she ordered a drink
Speaker 1: and he didn't. She says, why does it bother me?
Speaker 1: Do other people feel the same way? I think drinking
Speaker 1: is so ingrained into today's dating culture, since most first
Speaker 1: dates are meeting for drinks. I tried to dry January,
Speaker 1: and sober dating itself was an experience. Side note, She's
Speaker 1: applied for the Bashel three times. Dean, do you have
Speaker 1: any tips for her to get on the bach. We'll
Speaker 1: get to that side note later. I will say that
Speaker 1: it really depends on what Rachel plans to get on
Speaker 1: a get out of a relationship. If she wants to
Speaker 1: just kind of date, casually hook up with people, then
Speaker 1: she should be looking I guess maybe using that as
Speaker 1: a vetting process. If they don't drink, then maybe you
Speaker 1: can't be interested in them. But if she wants like
Speaker 1: a long term, meaningful relationship, I think the guys that
Speaker 1: don't drink are better suited for that. And I know
Speaker 1: both of you don't drink, Eastern and Mark, and I
Speaker 1: think that a guy that doesn't drink is much more
Speaker 1: open and committed to the idea of a long term
Speaker 1: relationship than a guy that does go out in party
Speaker 1: every weekend. That's interesting. So I've never I've never been
Speaker 1: a drinker. I've never been drunk. I don't know anything
Speaker 1: about that whole world. When my wife and I started dating, uh,
Speaker 1: she you know, didn't drink much because she was underage.
Speaker 1: Uh And to this day, she drinks wine and that's
Speaker 1: about it. But she will get drunk. She'll go out
Speaker 1: and party with her friends. She always has a designated driver.
Speaker 1: That's a plus, that's me. But she doesn't get to
Speaker 1: drink with her partner. But she's known that, never noted
Speaker 1: any other way. But she's fine with that. She just
Speaker 1: drinks with her friends. Her parents loved that. I was Mr.
Speaker 1: Responsibility that that that was pretty cool. So anyway, I
Speaker 1: would say, my only advice is, don't count someone out
Speaker 1: for that. And again, I think it really depends on
Speaker 1: what she wants to get out of the relationship. I
Speaker 1: think the guy that's sober is very much more dedicated
Speaker 1: to having a meaningful long term relationship than a guy
Speaker 1: that parties every weekend. That's my advice. And have a
Speaker 1: good sense of who they are and what they want
Speaker 1: in life. To take things more seriously in the romantic world.
Speaker 1: I would say there's there's two sides of this because
Speaker 1: I I have never drank. I've never tried drags. I've
Speaker 1: I've been totally sober my entire life. I grew up
Speaker 1: in a lot of the straight edge community. I was
Speaker 1: in strange bands and stuff. I knew a lot of
Speaker 1: kids that didn't drink, that were total losers, that like,
Speaker 1: you know, they didn't try in school. They were just
Speaker 1: like like they kind of held this sobriety as a
Speaker 1: you know, as a um, you know, a respectable part
Speaker 1: of their personality and felt like that was the one
Speaker 1: thing they could kind of hang on to. It's like, hey,
Speaker 1: I don't drink. I'm a great guy. I have two
Speaker 1: point five grade point everything exactly like I got horrible grades.
Speaker 1: I don't have a job. I'm kind of a loser,
Speaker 1: but hey, I don't drink, you know. So um, I
Speaker 1: think it's in terms of like looking at it to
Speaker 1: reflect on somebody's personality, it's, uh, you know, you can
Speaker 1: use it as a as a kind of guideline, but
Speaker 1: also it's definitely something to get to know someone more about.
Speaker 1: But that being said, don't kind of out for not drinking,
Speaker 1: right And the other question, which you can get to
Speaker 1: eventually on a date is why have they just simply
Speaker 1: like me. I've just made that choice. My dad had
Speaker 1: some issues with it, so I know I'd probably enjoyed
Speaker 1: a lot, so I don't want to go anywhere near it.
Speaker 1: So and that's just a choice I've made in life.
Speaker 1: But sometimes there's guys that are sober for a reason
Speaker 1: and they've got quite a path, or they have real
Speaker 1: issues with alcohol, are very addictive personality, and none of
Speaker 1: that should be a deal breaker either. But it's just
Speaker 1: more information about situation before you make that decision. Um
Speaker 1: So Alex Bordakov from my season the Russian didn't get
Speaker 1: much screen time. Not many people know about him just
Speaker 1: because he I don't know for whatever reason, but he
Speaker 1: doesn't drink at all, and whenever we go out together,
Speaker 1: it's funny because he's always the one act even more
Speaker 1: outrageous than any of them to drink. He's like dancing
Speaker 1: on tables, taking a shirt off, that kind of stuff,
Speaker 1: and he's more fun than any of us. So just
Speaker 1: because someone's not drinking too it, I mean, I guess
Speaker 1: it feels weird for the person's ordering a drink and
Speaker 1: the other person is not, but doesn't mean it's gonna
Speaker 1: be any less fun. That's a really good point, because
Speaker 1: I do. I was at Eastern's wedding. I was riding
Speaker 1: a guy's shoulders at one point, like, I had a
Speaker 1: blast something about being around drunk people, kind of all
Speaker 1: the inhibitions going. Would you date somebody who doesn't drink, Yes,
Speaker 1: no problem, no problem at all. I think I dare
Speaker 1: to say it. Almost prefer it really because I think
Speaker 1: I mean, I drink socially, um, once or twice a weekend. Um,
Speaker 1: you see it as a plus. I see it as
Speaker 1: a social thing. I could see how cutting back would
Speaker 1: be beneficial. Not that they like need to cut back
Speaker 1: by any means, but it you just feel more responsible.
Speaker 1: I guess when you're not drinking quite as often. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I'm on the flip side to you. Um.
Speaker 1: For me, I mean, yeah, I date someone who doesn't drink,
Speaker 1: but at the same time, I want my partner to
Speaker 1: be my best friend. And I have some of the
Speaker 1: best nights out randomly. I mean, I don't I don't drink,
Speaker 1: you know, every week or every weekend or whatever, but
Speaker 1: some of the best nights I've had with my best
Speaker 1: friends have been nights out on the turn where you
Speaker 1: have pre drinks at home, you play games and everyone
Speaker 1: gets a little silly, and then your party on and
Speaker 1: you know, nightclub crawl and whatever, and then you wake
Speaker 1: up next to each other and just go away pretty
Speaker 1: hung over. Let's get a bacon and eggs and coffee
Speaker 1: and um, so drop up together and just lays around
Speaker 1: on the beach. Um. I think, yeah, that it's it's
Speaker 1: an experience you can have with your best friend and
Speaker 1: so yeah, yeah, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Um.
Speaker 1: I think it definitely can go either way on that
Speaker 1: one for me personally, So I would say, don't rule it,
Speaker 1: don't rule them up because of that, but get a
Speaker 1: little more information, get to know them as a person.
Speaker 1: You wanted to know how to get on the bach
Speaker 1: three times? Can you give me some tips to get
Speaker 1: through things? He's a tape You've applied three times? Done try.
Speaker 1: Maybe they just haven't cast the bachelor that's right for you.
Speaker 1: Keep trying. Do they do that? Do they try to
Speaker 1: match people up with the right bachelor? I don't think.
Speaker 1: I remember in Australia they had two bachelorettes that would
Speaker 1: considering right down to the last time. And I had
Speaker 1: two separate costs forecast forecast for each girl, and so
Speaker 1: when they decided on the actual girl, they're like, these
Speaker 1: are all the boys that it goes? Was that the
Speaker 1: season you were on? Yeah, so the other guy with
Speaker 1: cast you never wouldn't have gone on. That's mind blowing.
Speaker 1: And I guess, Okay, there you go. So yeah, maybe
Speaker 1: it is the guy. Maybe they're just waiting to find
Speaker 1: the right guy that suits whatever you're I guess questionnaire answers,
Speaker 1: what other what other criteria do they look for? What
Speaker 1: could you do to stand out more? Is there anything
Speaker 1: in the audition process? Well, so I'm a weird I'm
Speaker 1: like the black sheet because I didn't nessarily go through
Speaker 1: the audition process or anything like that. UM, I do
Speaker 1: a good looking, scraped off straight and when you're on
Speaker 1: not No, not because of that. UM. I do have
Speaker 1: heard like success stories of like friends that have been
Speaker 1: on the show, Like they send like an outrageous audition
Speaker 1: tape essentially, so I would say, like, the more outrageous
Speaker 1: about dations you can be on your audition tape, probably
Speaker 1: the better. Um, just just because the show loves personalities.
Speaker 1: No one really wants to have someone still on there,
Speaker 1: and they want to They want somebody who they remember. Remember,
Speaker 1: if they watch a hundred tapes in a row, the
Speaker 1: ones they remember, the ones are gonna want, right, I
Speaker 1: will say, um, as I was going because I still
Speaker 1: although I didn't go through the audition process, I still
Speaker 1: met with plenty of the producers before I went on
Speaker 1: the show, like two at a time, over the course
Speaker 1: of a couple of weeks. Um. So if you didn't
Speaker 1: know audition, how did you? Um? You knew somebody to
Speaker 1: bet at the producer? Wow? How funny? Um? And so
Speaker 1: I sat down with a couple of the executive producers
Speaker 1: and they're like, telling me your story, And I mean,
Speaker 1: I just have an interesting story, I guess. So they
Speaker 1: were like, Okay, this kid, you know, grew up in
Speaker 1: a weird way and that's what we find interesting about him,
Speaker 1: even though he's like a normal person. Um. So they
Speaker 1: love like the outrageous unique types. I guess. All right,
Speaker 1: one more And this is a very astute point from
Speaker 1: Leah h being made a comment about being insecure, even
Speaker 1: more so after being in on TV. I was reading
Speaker 1: the speak about something called imposter syndrome, which I felt
Speaker 1: kind of made sense for Dean. It sounds terrible. I
Speaker 1: got the same kind of feeling. I grew up very
Speaker 1: poor and have excelled in my life to the point
Speaker 1: where I feel like I'm an impostor among a bunch
Speaker 1: of successful people, always afraid they'll realize I don't fit
Speaker 1: in or something. We have to recognize that we are
Speaker 1: where we are because of our accomplishments, our dedication, and
Speaker 1: our effort. It's not just dumb luck that Dean has
Speaker 1: made it to where he is. He should feel deserving
Speaker 1: by the way he's a ps. She met her husband
Speaker 1: on Plenty of Fish and they just celebrated to the
Speaker 1: three year wedding anniversary. After meeting several people who didn't
Speaker 1: want anything serious, I just began to be completely upfront
Speaker 1: with everyone that talked about about wanting a relationship, and
Speaker 1: then finally I found him. I or my heart and
Speaker 1: my sleeve and it worked. So happy. Good advice for
Speaker 1: Erica and whoever else. Well. Congratulations on three years, Leah.
Speaker 1: That's great. Um. The impostor syndrome is interesting because I
Speaker 1: feel like Cortney can kind of attest to this as well.
Speaker 1: I don't think that. I don't know, what do you think? Um,
Speaker 1: I think you are. You're a product of your own success,
Speaker 1: and I think you've pat yourself in the back and
Speaker 1: you deserve everything you've got. If you've made it to
Speaker 1: that point in your life, then you've worked hard for
Speaker 1: it and you've got there because you deserve it. And yeah, again,
Speaker 1: you should just give yourself all there in the world.
Speaker 1: And I think anyone you surround yourself with should recognize
Speaker 1: that as a compliment. Accomplishments, recognize you where you came
Speaker 1: from and just deployed you for it. Yeah, I suppose
Speaker 1: I don't necessarily look at myself as a successful person
Speaker 1: by any search of the imagination. And what's funny, too,
Speaker 1: is I look at Ben as incredibly successful Ben Higgins,
Speaker 1: and I remember, I think he posts an Instagram video
Speaker 1: not too long ago about how he was like, I
Speaker 1: did nothing to deserve this platform here. I am granted
Speaker 1: this ability to reach you know, million people, whatever it is,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I mean, that's exactly. I think
Speaker 1: he kind of feels the same way, where he's not
Speaker 1: necessarily living up to his full potential, although he's doing
Speaker 1: an incredible job and doing so many things, um but
Speaker 1: as as me, I look up to him as successful
Speaker 1: even though he livesn't look up to himself as successful
Speaker 1: in a lot of ways, which is just weird. I
Speaker 1: feel like a lot of people may be too harsh
Speaker 1: on themselves. I think the insecurities honestly, And this might
Speaker 1: be why I'm trying to change the name so hard.
Speaker 1: Is because of this name of this podcast. If you
Speaker 1: judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,
Speaker 1: that's when you start kind of being addict, you know.
Speaker 1: And I like, I put myself down so often coming
Speaker 1: in the studio, and you know, I talked about my podcasts,
Speaker 1: all my friends and people that I meet on the street,
Speaker 1: all that kind of stuff, and it's just like, well,
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm gonna get a little insecure about you.
Speaker 1: Look around the room and it just says Dane sucks
Speaker 1: at dip. And if if you looked at if you
Speaker 1: walked into your office every morning, it had it quite
Speaker 1: a bad how terrible you are something, it would probably
Speaker 1: get you giving you a complex. It's not just a
Speaker 1: bad name, it's making you insecure even more. Stared at
Speaker 1: it for hours a day. I promoted on my social channels.
Speaker 1: You guys listen to my podcast, Like what if you
Speaker 1: went home and Namy was like, Hey, Mark, you suck
Speaker 1: at producing? How you have a job you go at
Speaker 1: here today? Well, you know, it's funny with the imposter
Speaker 1: syndrome because I actually have had I've put together quite
Speaker 1: a little career in radio here. I've been in radio
Speaker 1: for twenty six years now and I'm the executive producer
Speaker 1: of V with Ryan Secret. But every day as I
Speaker 1: wanted the halls here, I don't feel like I've never
Speaker 1: felt like I belong. I've never felt like I'm supposed
Speaker 1: to be here. I always felt like I've somehow gotten
Speaker 1: to this point and it's not gonna last much longer. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: it's just a testament to how much you love your
Speaker 1: job though, Like you walk in and go, wow, this
Speaker 1: is where I How did I get here? And that's
Speaker 1: probably why you've been here for slone because you actually
Speaker 1: walk in and you surprise yourself every day like this
Speaker 1: is pretty cool. I think the people who did my
Speaker 1: job before me, like those guys knew what they were doing.
Speaker 1: Like I'm just trying to figure out on a day
Speaker 1: to day basis, get through it and go home. I
Speaker 1: will say that whenever people ask me about this podcast
Speaker 1: and you get brought up because I mean, essentially you're
Speaker 1: like a host of this podcast. Thank you. Nothing but
Speaker 1: the highest things to say about you because you do
Speaker 1: got you do have such a presence about you, and
Speaker 1: you are so gifted at doing this and you do
Speaker 1: guide things. You're essentially the glue that holds this entire
Speaker 1: podcast together. In my eyes, that's very nice. So the
Speaker 1: fact that you're saying that again, it's the thing to you.
Speaker 1: Look at Ben Higgins, he says the same thing. He's like, well,
Speaker 1: I don't think I'm successful. I you said the same
Speaker 1: thing right now too. It's it's crazy because, um, I
Speaker 1: look at you and I see someone that's incredibly talented.
Speaker 1: Even when Jackson was in here, uh he was like
Speaker 1: yeah that guy Mark like he taught me all these
Speaker 1: things and in a short amount of time, like all
Speaker 1: that kind of stuff. So um, it's just weird to
Speaker 1: see the way that we view ourselves versus the way.
Speaker 1: It is interesting. It is very I wonder does does
Speaker 1: Bill Gates feel that way? Ask Ryan Secret? Secret? I think, honestly,
Speaker 1: there are times, who does I think maybe it's humility
Speaker 1: there's a big part of it, and that's important if
Speaker 1: you're someone like the Kardashians. Okay, sure a lot of
Speaker 1: those girls were born into it from their parents, you know,
Speaker 1: Kendall and Kylie and and whatnot, So they were born
Speaker 1: in the spotlight, and people like, uh, well, you know
Speaker 1: Michael Jackson's kids, even Michael Jackson was a star from
Speaker 1: a young age and whatnot. But I think that it's
Speaker 1: different for families and kids who are who are born
Speaker 1: in the spotlight, but for people like ourselves who have
Speaker 1: kind of got to the position through hard work and
Speaker 1: sure twist and turns of fate and whatever, but we've
Speaker 1: always been the right time, at the right place, in
Speaker 1: the right situation and being dedicated and motivated enough to
Speaker 1: push ourselves further and climb the ladder, pay yourself on
Speaker 1: the back. Yeah. And also, you don't want to forget
Speaker 1: the amount of luck involved and then huld help involved, absolutely,
Speaker 1: and when you forget that stuff, that's when you start
Speaker 1: to lose touch with the reality. I think I've worked
Speaker 1: with Ryan Secrets for eight years now and he definitely
Speaker 1: is continuing to do radio for a reason because he
Speaker 1: doesn't take for granted the fact that he gets to
Speaker 1: talk to all these people on the radio every morning,
Speaker 1: he can take calls from people that people take the
Speaker 1: time to tune into him in the morning. Like he's
Speaker 1: still very honored by that, and that's why he's still
Speaker 1: doing it, because he still sees it as a privilege,
Speaker 1: not as a chore, not as a house or not
Speaker 1: something that's beneath him or I hear so many people
Speaker 1: say to me, secrets is still doing radio? Seriously yea,
Speaker 1: he isn't even doing so many different things for this time.
Speaker 1: Its a down to worth, humble bloke that recognizes his
Speaker 1: beginnings and appreciate It's great. He's one of my biggest idols,
Speaker 1: has been since I was a little kid. I love
Speaker 1: him today. Well, we'll have to get you in here
Speaker 1: to meet him. And here we are. Yeahast it's just
Speaker 1: I'm climbing the ladder to meet Ron. Gotta go through
Speaker 1: Dean for through of everybody. Yeah, um, alrightll I want
Speaker 1: to get extend one more. Thank you too. Well. First
Speaker 1: of all you three, Mark Easton and Courtney for joining
Speaker 1: me in studio. Um Carmelia Ray Season three of Momberous Matchmaker,
Speaker 1: which premieres later this spring on Mixed TV Seasons one
Speaker 1: and two are available online as well Mixed tv dot Com.
Speaker 1: Big thank you to Julie Kane who just continues with
Speaker 1: the uncomfortable nous and you know, we appreciate hearing about
Speaker 1: the carnival rides these boyfriends that she has. It's an
Speaker 1: inspiration though. At the end of the day, you know,
Speaker 1: it gives us hope to cling onto that. You know,
Speaker 1: even if God forbids you lose someone as important as
Speaker 1: your husband of forty five years, you're still able to
Speaker 1: kind of get back on the horse and um maintain
Speaker 1: a certain level of happiness, which she she seems to have.
Speaker 1: So um, keep the emails coming. I suck a dating
Speaker 1: at iHeart media dot com. Uh and email I just said,
Speaker 1: will hopefully be changing pretty soon. That'd be yeah, what
Speaker 1: would have changed to you? Let's be dating with Dina
Speaker 1: I heard media dot com. I said, I personally think
Speaker 1: would just be Dean and I Heart media dot Com.
Speaker 1: But I don't know if that's why don't we change
Speaker 1: it right now to Dean at iHeart media dot com.
Speaker 1: Can we do that Eastern or is that hard? I
Speaker 1: have to make sure there's not another Dean Heart Media
Speaker 1: dot com because I try to get easton that I
Speaker 1: hurt Media dot Com and there's already one you can
Speaker 1: do me. That's what East one two is what I
Speaker 1: ended up. Yeah, that makes sense. Um. Anyways, I figure
Speaker 1: if we do it now that way, it will make
Speaker 1: the change later on easier because we'll already have the
Speaker 1: email address kind of ingrained in the culture of the show.
Speaker 1: Have we decided on a name though we haven't. No, no,
Speaker 1: But if it's just Dina, I hurt Media dot Com
Speaker 1: into it. And then if no, matter what we change
Speaker 1: the name to, it can just remain Dean and I
Speaker 1: Hurt Media dot Com And that will be fun for
Speaker 1: for listeners. They can just email Dean, did I hurt Media?
Speaker 1: And as long as it keeps bouncing back you know,
Speaker 1: this hasn't worked yet, and then if it doesn't success,
Speaker 1: I might just buy that dummy. Um. Next week we'll
Speaker 1: be talking Bachelor Winter Games. I'm joined in studio by
Speaker 1: some of my lovely co stars, Leslie Kevin and the
Speaker 1: wonderful Courtney again two weeks in a row. I don't
Speaker 1: know if you guys are are excited about that. I'm
Speaker 1: sure you are, because um looking forward to seeing Leslie.
Speaker 1: Oh really, Oh great that I together. I don't know,
Speaker 1: I just I just like you two together. You haven't
Speaker 1: really seen us together, no, but I just on paper.
Speaker 1: I like it, and us weekly I like it. Okay,
Speaker 1: what the children are gonna look like? It looks good. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So next week we're gonna be two episodes into bachel
Speaker 1: Winter Games. I'm excited for I have snuck. Um. I
Speaker 1: somehow was able to sneak my way into watching episode one,
Speaker 1: which airs tonight, and it's hilarious and I've only heard
Speaker 1: that it gets better and I've heard so. I was
Speaker 1: at Chris Harrison's pro am golfer room up in Pebble
Speaker 1: Beach this weekend, um, and we were like watching and
Speaker 1: play a couple of holes of me Ben. We're walking
Speaker 1: along with him and hang out with one of his
Speaker 1: friends that golfl with him up in like west Lake.
Speaker 1: I can't remember where it was, um, but his friend
Speaker 1: was saying that Chris never talks about the Bachelor, like
Speaker 1: whenever they're hanging out his friends playing golf whatever it is.
Speaker 1: But now Chris is like weirdly excited about Bachelor Winter Games.
Speaker 1: Like he's like talking about how it was like the
Speaker 1: most fun he's ever had on the show, and how
Speaker 1: um the show is, in his eyes, the most entertaining
Speaker 1: that he's produced so far. And so it's weird to
Speaker 1: hear from a friend that he's actually talking about a
Speaker 1: show that he's worked on. And I know he's done
Speaker 1: what twenty two seasons Batchel, thirteen seasons Batcherette, So he
Speaker 1: probably gets tired of talking about it. Um and Winter
Speaker 1: Games kind of has like the the allure of the
Speaker 1: new show and all that kind of stuff. But it's
Speaker 1: fun to here how excited the executive producers of the show.
Speaker 1: It seems like a great idea for a show. I'm
Speaker 1: looking forward to it. It's sure we all wish it
Speaker 1: was longer, even like four episodes is not enough anyways,
Speaker 1: Thatchler Winter Games. Tune in tonight at eight pm on ABC.
Speaker 1: You'll watch the premiere. It'll arrogant on Thursday this week
Speaker 1: eight p m. Same time, and then next week we
Speaker 1: have Tuesday Thursday, and then I believe we'll have a
Speaker 1: one hour live finale on Thursday. Be sure to tune in.
Speaker 1: We're filming it on Friday this week. Oh, I'm traveling
Speaker 1: to Honduras with Ben Higgins, UM, a cast member from
Speaker 1: Better Winter Games who cannot be named right now. UM,
Speaker 1: and some of some of my little female female he
Speaker 1: didn't have to give that. Several others. We're going with
Speaker 1: the Humanity of Hope organization that Ben's worked with in
Speaker 1: the past. And one of my great friends actually who's
Speaker 1: getting married in May of this year, who helps put
Speaker 1: it all on too. She's she's coming out with us,
Speaker 1: so we're gonna be out in Hunduras for about thirteen days. UM.
Speaker 1: All right, well, thanks again for two ding uh tuning in.
Speaker 1: This has been help. I suck at dating. I'm Dean Angler,
Speaker 1: and maybe next week I'll suck a little bit less.
Speaker 1: Follow Help I Suck at Dating with Dean Anglert on
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.
Speaker 1: Follow Hell the Angler on I Heart Radio or subscribe
Speaker 1: wherever you listen to podcasts. How about this