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Speaker 1: Hey, kity misconnections. That was me staring there was only

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Speaker 1: two places to find true love in this world. One

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Speaker 1: is in the back of a crowded clown car when

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Speaker 1: someone's giant gloved hand honks more than just your nose.

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Speaker 1: The other is on the pages of craigslist dot org.

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Speaker 1: We scoured that website every week to find the best

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Speaker 1: misconnections that they have to offer, like this first one,

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Speaker 1: titled you have my Stamp of Approval Man for Woman

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Speaker 1: thirty three usps. He says, I was the guy in

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Speaker 1: line at the post office the other day, standing directly

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Speaker 1: in front of you. I hadn't been there in years,

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Speaker 1: so imagine my surprise that number one it was still open. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and number two there were hotties in line like you.

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Speaker 1: We stood there for what seemed like forever.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it usually happens at the post office.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I know, but that's what you get when you

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Speaker 1: can only afford to pay one employee and fire the rest. Parentheses.

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Speaker 1: Thanks Obama's Obama's fault. It's amazing so long ago, how

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Speaker 1: much of the reach he has even ten years after

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Speaker 1: being out of office. Yeah, I was sure he's gonna

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Speaker 1: be reasoning. I lose my job. Yeah, most likely in

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Speaker 1: the future, he goes on. I tried to make conversation.

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Speaker 1: You said you were buying some stamps, and I immediately

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Speaker 1: told you a fun fact. Did you know the word

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Speaker 1: stamps said backwards is spats with the M taken out.

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Speaker 1: That's not a fun fats, not even fun. You didn't

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Speaker 1: say much.

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Speaker 2: That's not even a word, dude, but.

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Speaker 1: You're probably surprised at my quick wit. Ten minutes later,

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Speaker 1: the line still hadn't moved, which was awesome for me.

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Speaker 1: I was able to get into great detail about the

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Speaker 1: three katanas I was picking up, delivered all the way

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Speaker 1: from the Philippines. I'm sorry if you're into katanas, but

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Speaker 1: I love that you thought that was gonna Also, I

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Speaker 1: opened up my backpack and showed you all my mad

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Speaker 1: lip books.

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Speaker 2: Okay, she's googling other usps is right now.

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Speaker 1: Remember I told you it keeps the mind sharp as

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Speaker 1: you get older.

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Speaker 2: What's an adjective?

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Speaker 3: Agaand in fact, I tried to get you to do

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Speaker 3: a few with me right there. Oh, but you said

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Speaker 3: you had a mind cramp. Sorry for that time of

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Speaker 3: the month.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know that it happened upstairs as well as downstairs.

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Speaker 2: We get them so bad.

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Speaker 1: Anyway. Yeah, if you see this, email me back. I

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Speaker 1: want to show you a picture of my long sword.

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Speaker 2: Nobody wants to guys.

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Speaker 1: That signed Reuben. This next misconnection is titled ship Happens

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Speaker 1: Call me I like it woman for man twenty four

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Speaker 1: North side of the Lake. This is for the filthy

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Speaker 1: rich guy I saw last weekend. I mean, I assume

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Speaker 1: you're rich because you were driving a big boat. Okay,

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Speaker 1: if that's not yours or you're borrowing it, disregard this message. Bye.

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Speaker 2: But I know there's a lot of rich people that

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Speaker 2: peruse Craigslist the spot to find.

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Speaker 1: Out But if it really is your boat, then keep reading.

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Speaker 1: You would remember who I am. I hope I was

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Speaker 1: the brunette with the lime green paddle board that you

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Speaker 1: almost ran over. But seriously, you kind of almost did.

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Speaker 1: To your credit, you did stop when I used my

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Speaker 1: paddle to smack the side of your ship.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well he deserved that.

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Speaker 1: By the way, is a ship a boat or a

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Speaker 1: boat not a ship? I'm confused. They really should have

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Speaker 1: that in the dictionary. I think they do pretty sure

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Speaker 1: it is. Yeah. AnyWho, I thought you were pretty cute

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Speaker 1: for an older guy, do you like being bald? It

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Speaker 1: seems like you could afford hair if you really wanted it.

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Speaker 2: Wow, that was kind of a backhand accompliment.

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Speaker 1: It does, but maybe you just choose to be bald instead,

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Speaker 1: just like how I choose not to pay for all

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Speaker 1: my parking tickets. Yay, we have so much in common.

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Speaker 1: Probably geminized too. So what does that's a hot mostly

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Speaker 1: single girl have to do to get a ribe. I'll

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Speaker 1: bring white claws, waterproof lip gloss, and enough daddy issues

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Speaker 1: to keep your therapist fully booked. Jkjkjkjkjk oh. I almost forgot.

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Speaker 1: If you're secretly married, I will find out. I watch

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Speaker 1: a lot of true crime. Please reply back to this

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Speaker 1: and tell me which doc you're picking me up from tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: Hope to see you soon. And she spelled c sea

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Speaker 1: like the ocean.

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Speaker 2: She's not a lake. She knows right.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they should really put the difference in the dictionary

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Speaker 1: between those that signed paddle Board Princess. Go to your

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Speaker 1: final misconnection titled here for a Fortune Cookie. But I

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Speaker 1: think I just found my future man for woman twenty

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Speaker 1: Chinese restaurant. We met at the Panda Express on Monday

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Speaker 1: afternoon near the Walmart. You were wearing a long sleeve

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Speaker 1: knit in jeans with a gold cross necklace. I was

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Speaker 1: the guy right behind you, wearing a bomber jacket carrying

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Speaker 1: a brown backpack with all my ugi O cards in it.

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Speaker 2: That's a flex.

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Speaker 1: While standing in line, I realized I was very attracted

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Speaker 1: to your look. You reminded me of the purple haired

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Speaker 1: roomy from K pop Demon Hunters who sleigh girl sleigh ha.

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Speaker 1: Hopefully that's not weird. I'm not weird. Okay, I'm a

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Speaker 1: little weird. Just embrace it, but in a good way.

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Speaker 1: After you paid, you took your food and sat down

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Speaker 1: at a table, so I followed and asked if you

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Speaker 1: wanted any saracha. You questioned if I worked there? I

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Speaker 1: said no, that is weird.

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Speaker 2: Off. Why would he just ask to sit down or

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Speaker 2: join her?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I said no, but still pulled out a small

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Speaker 1: bottle from my front pants pocket.

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Speaker 2: Why is it not in the backpack?

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Speaker 1: You just looked at me. I put the bottle down

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Speaker 1: on your table and just said, enjoy my gift to you.

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Speaker 2: Eh hot sauce in his bag swag.

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Speaker 1: I sat two tables away to not be creepy, and

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Speaker 1: at one point I realized I realized my mistake. I

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Speaker 1: didn't have any siracha, so I had to go to

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Speaker 1: your table and asked to borrow my own bottle back.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's awkward.

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Speaker 1: Sadly you said.

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Speaker 2: No, wait wait, just got a free bottle.

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Speaker 1: Shortly after that you left with my bottle. Wow. If

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Speaker 1: you see this, I would like my siracha back and

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Speaker 1: to also take you on a date.

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Speaker 2: Oh man, you spent a lot of time eating food

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Speaker 2: in the last week.

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Speaker 1: Please Demon Slayer show me how It's done, Done done?

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Speaker 1: Get it? I think I think that's a Demon Slayer song.

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Speaker 1: How It's Done, Done Done. I think that's awesome. It's embarrassing.

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Speaker 1: I like that last line. I even showed my friend Oliver.

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Speaker 1: He thought it was funny too, posting that signed Bruce

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Speaker 1: brus He Will. Those were Craigslist misconnections for the week,

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Speaker 1: Brooke

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Speaker 2: And Jeffrey in the morning