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Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.

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Speaker 2: More can be accomplished in relationships and business partnerships if

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Speaker 2: you value the person across from you and you are

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Speaker 2: offering them things that you know that will bring value

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Speaker 2: to them instead of it being so one sided it's

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Speaker 2: like no, this will be more convenient for me. It's like, no,

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Speaker 2: what will be convenient for the partnership moving forward?

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Speaker 3: And what will.

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Speaker 2: Bring so much values to the person on the other

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Speaker 2: end that they just can't refuse the offer?

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Speaker 3: Just make it that good.

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Speaker 1: Today's episode is sure to provide you with motivation, inspiration,

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Speaker 1: or a fresh perspective. If you have any AHA moments

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Speaker 1: or appreciate anything from this episode, please leave us a

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Speaker 1: review to let us know we're on the right track. Also,

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Speaker 1: we release episodes every Friday, so be sure to subscribe

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Speaker 1: on iTunes and visit cultivatinghurspace dot com to access our excs,

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Speaker 1: elusive after show, and other bonus content from the Patreon tab.

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Speaker 4: Welcome to Cultivating her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting

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Speaker 4: women like you. We're your hosts doctor Dominique Broussard, a

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Speaker 4: college professor and psychologist.

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Speaker 2: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker in a

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Speaker 2: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood. Please

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Speaker 2: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from

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Speaker 2: five roids to fake friends, and create a safe space

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Speaker 2: where black women can just be.

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Speaker 4: Hey, lady, is doctor dom here from the Cultivating her

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Speaker 4: Space podcast? Are you currently a resident of the state

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Speaker 4: of California and contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well, if so,

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Speaker 4: please reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brussard dot com.

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Speaker 4: That's Dr d Omi ni Que b r Oussard dot

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Speaker 4: com to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation. I look

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Speaker 4: forward to hearing from.

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Speaker 3: You, lady.

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Speaker 2: We have such a special guest on the podcast today,

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Speaker 2: so I'm going to do my best to read this

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Speaker 2: bio and not be too excited and stumble over my words.

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Speaker 2: So let's just go ahead and get started, okay, y'all.

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Speaker 2: Felicia Sweat, native of Nashville, Tennessee, is a wife, mom,

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Speaker 2: and also a thriving entrepreneur and profitable investor. Felicia excelled

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Speaker 2: in corporate for years as a top business operations leader

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Speaker 2: in the technology industry, taking multiple million dollar companies to

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Speaker 2: New Heights. Felicia independently established our own business operations consulting service,

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Speaker 2: empowered projects and people in early twenty twenty and transition

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Speaker 2: from corporate in twenty twenty one. Also in twenty twenty one,

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Speaker 2: joined forces with her longtime friend and now husband, Tasteswat,

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Speaker 2: with plans to build a multi billion dollar empire that

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Speaker 2: was a billion with a bell okay, and to mentor

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Speaker 2: and coach aspiring investors who are thriving and striving to

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Speaker 2: create generational wealth. Their VIP trading programs Secure the Bag,

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Speaker 2: along with other tears of educational programs, have touched over

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Speaker 2: ten thousand people and created numerous five to seven figure earners.

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Speaker 2: Alicia is devoted to growing a functional and sustainable family

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Speaker 2: empire and hopes to inspire more people, especially women, to

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Speaker 2: work hard and go after what they want in life.

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Speaker 3: All right, good natural, Thank sure you're here.

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Speaker 2: Thanks you, welcome, my god, thank you, thank you, thank

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Speaker 2: you ladies for having me like I'm so honored to

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Speaker 2: be here. I really admire everything that you all are

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Speaker 2: doing as far as you know, elevation and just pushing

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Speaker 2: like such a positive narrative. And let me give you

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Speaker 2: all your flowers, because if anybody is listening or watching,

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Speaker 2: it is not hard to host a podcast. From vetting

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Speaker 2: the people you want to be on there, to figuring

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Speaker 2: out what conversations you want to have, to doing the

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Speaker 2: research to actually doing the podcast, editing and pushing it out, y'all,

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Speaker 2: this is not easy. So y'all deserve your flowers. Terry

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Speaker 2: doctor Dom, thank you so much for positioning yourself to

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Speaker 2: do this. Like I appreciate you and I hope other

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Speaker 2: people do as well, but thank you for having me on.

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Speaker 3: I'm honored, Thank you.

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Speaker 4: We receive those flowers, and we are looking forward to

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Speaker 4: being in conversation with you today and so we will

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Speaker 4: start with our quote of the day. Now, these words

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Speaker 4: will sound really familiar to you because these are your words.

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Speaker 4: If you want your partner to make a move on something,

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Speaker 4: position them to feel like they are missing an opportunity,

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Speaker 4: not taking a risk. And I'm gonna say that one

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Speaker 4: more time for the people in the back to make

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Speaker 4: sure you caught that. If you want your partner to

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Speaker 4: make a move on something, position them to feel like

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Speaker 4: they are missing an opportunity, not taking a risk.

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Speaker 3: Ooh, that's a word right there.

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Speaker 4: Felicia when you hear that and I know it's part

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Speaker 4: of a bigger quote.

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Speaker 3: Tell us more, give us more context behind this quote.

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Speaker 3: Oh my go alright, Wow that threw me off. I

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Speaker 3: love that. I'm like, oh, this part is real? Could

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Speaker 3: who is this?

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Speaker 5: No?

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Speaker 2: But I think so many people experience this and relationships

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Speaker 2: and business partnerships and work environment, but especially relationships, Like

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Speaker 2: you know, when have we not been in situations and

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Speaker 2: relationships where we've come to a point where we feel

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Speaker 2: like we had to make decisions or maybe compromise on

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Speaker 2: things or take risk for people, whether it's going into

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Speaker 2: the relationship, whether it's moving locations for somebody, whether it's

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Speaker 2: trying to figure out, like you know, if I'm becoming

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Speaker 2: a mom, like do I continue to work the same?

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Speaker 3: Do I let you take the reins?

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Speaker 2: And I think a lot of times, you know, we

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Speaker 2: are asked or we ask people to do things and

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Speaker 2: we don't necessarily think about like how it's going to

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Speaker 2: be received. It's like, are you positioning the offer to

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Speaker 2: that person in a way that also brings value to

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Speaker 2: them and positions them to where they feel so comfortable

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Speaker 2: with what you're presenting that for them, it seems like Dang,

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Speaker 2: if I don't take this, it's gonna be a misopportunity

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Speaker 2: versus being like, I don't know, this seems risky, and

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Speaker 2: I think more can be accomplished in relationships and business

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Speaker 2: partnerships if you value the person across from you and

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Speaker 2: you are offering them things that you know that will

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Speaker 2: bring value to them instead of it being so one sided.

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Speaker 2: It's like, no, this will be more convenient for me.

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Speaker 2: It's like, no, what will be convenient for the partnership

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Speaker 2: moving forward?

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Speaker 3: And what will.

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Speaker 2: Bring so much values to the person on the other

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Speaker 2: end that they just can't refuse to offer, like just

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Speaker 2: make it that good?

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Speaker 3: And I feel like child, there will be more successful relationships.

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Speaker 2: And you know, we'll dive into how Tay and I

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Speaker 2: created our partnership, but that's literally how I got to

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Speaker 2: move forward with him because maybe he presented a great offer.

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Speaker 2: He got it, Okay, he understood the assignment. Okay, Okay,

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Speaker 2: we under stay it. So beautiful, Thank you so much

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Speaker 2: for sharing that. Are we calling you queen fee fee Felicia?

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Speaker 3: What should we call you?

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Speaker 2: Y'all want to Okay, everybody called me fee? Clean it

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Speaker 2: from yeah, okay, Fee, Like that's my home.

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Speaker 3: Girls, I feel like my yes.

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Speaker 2: Okay for y'all said, We're going to dive more into

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Speaker 2: that quote in just a bit, but let's start from

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Speaker 2: the beginning and talk about your origin story. How did

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Speaker 2: you become the felicious sweat that we see today? Oh

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Speaker 2: my gosh.

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Speaker 3: Okay, so.

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Speaker 2: Well, birth and foremost, I was born and raised in Nashville, Tennessee.

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Speaker 3: So I am true Southern bred. Let me just say that.

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Speaker 2: You know, I was born a single mom, only child,

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Speaker 2: humble beginnings. My mom was very strict though, so I

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Speaker 2: was raised in the household where you know, she accepted

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Speaker 2: nothing but like straight a's. I was very involved growing up,

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Speaker 2: you know, in all the organizations and essentially, you know,

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Speaker 2: it was more or less like listen, you're gonna stay

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Speaker 2: out the stay out the streets, stay off the pole,

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Speaker 2: and you're gonna do the right thing. And so honestly,

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Speaker 2: I just, you know, kind of did everything by the books,

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Speaker 2: like very involved, network, did not a lot, just did

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Speaker 2: all the things, you know, went to college, finished college,

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Speaker 2: decided to go on to graduate schools, and honestly, I

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Speaker 2: was I felt on top of the world. I felt

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Speaker 2: like I did everything right. So by the time I

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Speaker 2: graduated grad school, I was like, well, God and give

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Speaker 2: me that. You're gonna six figures were you? And you know,

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Speaker 2: life just don't have it that way. Life does not

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Speaker 2: having that way. And honestly, during the time I graduated

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Speaker 2: with my masters, the economy was going through It's kind

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Speaker 2: of like second crash at the time, right, So you

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Speaker 2: had the crash of two thousand and eight, and after

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Speaker 2: we came out of that, we went into another crash

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Speaker 2: that was right around twenty eleven, and so there were

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Speaker 2: no jobs. There were no jobs, and I feel like

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Speaker 2: anybody who was graduating around that time kind of like

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Speaker 2: spilt that in economy.

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Speaker 3: There were not jobs.

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Speaker 2: People were lost, people were coolest, people were going back

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Speaker 2: to school just to figure.

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Speaker 3: It out, taking out more loans. It was a rude.

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Speaker 2: Awakening for a lot of people in food in me,

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Speaker 2: and so that was kind of my beginning of understanding

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Speaker 2: that life be like trick and adulting is trash cool,

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Speaker 2: Like nobody told me about this and so and so, honestly,

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Speaker 2: that's when I had to like really figure it out.

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Speaker 2: So I came out of school with this masters, I

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Speaker 2: actually had to go work at a preschool ironically, and

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Speaker 2: in hindsight, it was a It was a beautiful experience.

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Speaker 2: I love working with kids, and I think it taught

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Speaker 2: me a lot of lessons, even raising my own son.

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Speaker 2: But I mean, just imagine you come out, what with

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Speaker 2: your master's degree, you're like working like a dankcare.

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Speaker 3: Essentially, right, Yes, and so.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I kind of went through a depression during that period.

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Speaker 2: It was about a year of me kind of like

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Speaker 2: losing myself and trying to figure life out and figure

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Speaker 2: out my purpose again.

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Speaker 3: And after some time, I had to.

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Speaker 2: Come off of this pedalstal of like entitlement and feeling

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Speaker 2: like the world owed me something just because I did

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Speaker 2: everything right. That's just not how life works. And I

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Speaker 2: just woke up one day and I feel like jack

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Speaker 2: myself up and was like, girl, put your shit together,

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Speaker 2: just to get it together and whatever you want, just

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Speaker 2: go after it.

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Speaker 3: And I just had this awakening.

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Speaker 2: And I literally kind of like got myself together. I

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Speaker 2: did everything that I could to research how to position

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Speaker 2: myself to be a better candidate, you know, in the

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Speaker 2: job market. I literally started kind of expanding even my interests,

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Speaker 2: you know, because I was so honed on doing one thing.

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Speaker 2: But I was like, well, let me really like expand

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Speaker 2: what I want to do, like what's the demand out here,

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Speaker 2: not just what I.

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Speaker 3: Want to do like Anien. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Right, So I had to completely rewire my thinking, and

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Speaker 2: I want to say when I got it, Literally the

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Speaker 2: next month I got an offer and that was my

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Speaker 2: introduction into the startup world. I went into my first

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Speaker 2: startup company and from there I got introduced to.

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Speaker 3: The startup tech space.

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Speaker 2: So I got into insure tech and literally years later

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Speaker 2: I was like at the top of my industry as

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Speaker 2: a business operations project manager. So of course eventually I

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Speaker 2: established my own business and that's kind of how I

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Speaker 2: partnered with my husband to start running operations for his

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Speaker 2: entire business.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, that's the journey.

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Speaker 2: Hey lady, it's Terry here dom and I want to

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Speaker 2: take a moment to thank you for choosing to listen

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Speaker 2: to our podcast. We love you for real, and we

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Speaker 2: want to give you a chance to learn more about

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Speaker 2: what's important to us. So tell us what you think

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Speaker 2: about this.

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Speaker 5: Imagine a world where you have a chance to get

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Speaker 5: featured on the Cultivating her Space podcast and share your

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Speaker 5: business brand or perspective with millions around the globe. Imagine

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Speaker 5: joining our monthly virtual video check ins where you can

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Speaker 5: connect with like minded black women like you and share

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Speaker 5: your ideas and episode suggestions with Terry and I. Now,

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Speaker 5: I want you to imagine a world where you're in

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Speaker 5: the exclusive Cultivating her Space Sanctuary Slack channel, and throughout

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Speaker 5: your day and week, you are conversing with us about

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Speaker 5: what's happening in your life and sharing funny gifts and

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Speaker 5: or personal wins. How does that sound? Hopefully this is

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Speaker 5: up your alley, lady, because we are taking things to

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Speaker 5: the next level this year, and we're doubling down on

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Speaker 5: investing in our community.

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Speaker 3: That means you.

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Speaker 2: We want to meet you, connect with you, and create

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Speaker 2: communities of genuine women who love on black women and

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Speaker 2: push our culture and movement forward. We launch this podcast

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Speaker 2: in twenty nineteen, and to date, we have not missed

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Speaker 2: a week. We've been great stewards of our platform, all

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Speaker 2: while working full time and navigating our own ups and downs.

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Speaker 2: We release fresh new content every single Friday, Life clock Work,

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Speaker 2: and we have hundreds of valuable episodes and workshops that

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Speaker 2: can really help you up level your life. So if

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Speaker 2: you love our mission or you've gotten value from us,

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Speaker 2: this community effort forward. Visit herspacepodcast dot com and click Patreon.

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Speaker 2: You can learn more about our goals and exclusive offerings

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Speaker 2: on Patreon, and we highly highly encourage you to join

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Speaker 2: the Sister Frontier so that you can get someone on

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Speaker 2: can click that link that says Patreon. All right, lady,

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Speaker 2: we'll hop right back into the conversation.

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Speaker 4: Wow wow, Okay, So you know, we have questions that

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Speaker 4: we come up with in our research before the interview,

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Speaker 4: but then as we are in conversation and you just

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Speaker 4: shared your incredible journey, other questions that are coming up. Right,

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Speaker 4: So one of the questions that came up for me

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Speaker 4: as I was listening to.

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Speaker 6: You, is.

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Speaker 4: You hit a phase where you were going through like

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Speaker 4: a depression and how did you recognize, like what were

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Speaker 4: the things that were happening for you that let you

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Speaker 4: know that you were in a depression. Because I think oftentimes,

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Speaker 4: particularly for black women, we get into phases of we

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Speaker 4: just have to do keep going and exist and we

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Speaker 4: can be depressed and not realize it until we've been

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Speaker 4: in it for months or some folks even years. So

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Speaker 4: can you tell us how did you know you were depressed?

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Speaker 2: You know what, my thoughts and my actions kind of

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Speaker 2: became unrecognizable and like this is this is a joke

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Speaker 2: for me to this day, but no on some serious

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Speaker 2: stuff like when I came out, I literally was like, listen,

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Speaker 2: y'all told me to stay out the streets and stay

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Speaker 2: out the pole. But during the time, like the pole

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Speaker 2: was looking real appetizing, the strippers were winning, the stripper's

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Speaker 2: bills get paid, So I mean that that was like

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Speaker 2: something funny to me, But I legit was kind of

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Speaker 2: like looking at ambunks doing stuff that I not something

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Speaker 2: interested in.

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Speaker 3: But I literally was like what else am I going

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Speaker 3: to do?

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Speaker 2: But also you know, that led into relationships and just

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Speaker 2: bad relationship decisions and kind of settling for things that

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Speaker 2: I was like, why am I, you know, taking this,

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Speaker 2: Why am I allowing like mental abuse and you know,

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Speaker 2: other things to go on. And I just felt like

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Speaker 2: I recognized that I was unrecognizable. I was like, this

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Speaker 2: is just not me. This is not how I think,

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Speaker 2: This is not how I moved this is not what

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Speaker 2: I accept as my value, And I mean it took

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Speaker 2: a while for me to kind of get there. I'm

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Speaker 2: a very self aware person, so it didn't get too

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Speaker 2: bad where I was like drinking or anything like that.

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Speaker 2: But I'm just such a such a out one person

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Speaker 2: for the most part, very active, up and go, and

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Speaker 2: I kind of started seeing myself like retreat a little

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Speaker 2: bit from the person who I really was, and I

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Speaker 2: just had awakening one day where I was like, no,

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Speaker 2: this is not you and this is not what you

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Speaker 2: want to be doing, and let's just stop making excuses

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Speaker 2: for work. Thank you so much for the transparency to

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Speaker 2: your feet, because that's so real. Sometimes you're looking like, hmm,

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Speaker 2: maybe I should go and try this thing, right, But

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Speaker 2: I like the fact that you point it out, like

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Speaker 2: you are so self aware that you're like, wait, I'm

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Speaker 2: not myself right now. Something isn't adding up in all

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Speaker 2: you see these different patterns in your life, and so

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Speaker 2: one of the things we found in our research is

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Speaker 2: that you emphasize the importance of investing in self work

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Speaker 2: to become fit in various areas of life. How has

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Speaker 2: this philosophy played a role in your personal and professional development.

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 2: So you know clearly my social media handle is fit

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Speaker 2: for the good Life. And I really put that together

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Speaker 2: because I do truly believe that you have to be

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Speaker 2: fit in all areas and have all areas balanced in

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Speaker 2: order to like reach your highest potential. Now, funny enough,

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Speaker 2: I will say this is something that is not fart.

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Speaker 3: Excuse me, something is not easy to do.

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Speaker 2: Because I'm telling you, like I say it out loud,

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Speaker 2: but listen, being fit in all.

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Speaker 3: Areas is not easy, I'm telling you.

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Speaker 2: And we're talking about the whole spectrum of mentally, intellectually, sexually,

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Speaker 2: right physically, like all of all of.

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Speaker 3: These things can easily be off balance.

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Speaker 2: And I say it out loud to try to hold

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Speaker 2: myself accountable and to try to keep that self awareness

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Speaker 2: of it. But I really do lean into that. I

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Speaker 2: say it out loud to hold my stuff accountable. I

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Speaker 2: lean into that because again, like I have goals I

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Speaker 2: want to reach.

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Speaker 3: We have goals we want to reach as an empire.

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Speaker 2: And literally, if if I am not fit, meaning like

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Speaker 2: in a in a state of like readiness, in a

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Speaker 2: in a state where I'm reaching my highest potential in

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Speaker 2: certain areas.

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Speaker 3: Like I can't easily throw myself off balance.

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Speaker 2: I can't easily you know, create like a gap and

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Speaker 2: miss the next benchmark or mouthstone to get to the goal.

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Speaker 2: And so no, I'm not saying it's easy for me

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Speaker 2: to work out a certain amount of times a week,

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Speaker 2: but I'm gonna.

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Speaker 3: Try my hardest.

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Speaker 2: And and you know, I'm not saying that it's easily

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Speaker 2: to always stay mentally stable.

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Speaker 3: We're having kids, but.

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Speaker 2: Me and my husband are going to try to beat

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Speaker 2: each other's peace enough to where like we're not adding

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Speaker 2: stress and tension in a relationship, you know, And then

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Speaker 2: also have to manage, you know, a young child who

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Speaker 2: isn't really aware that he's stressing us out time.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 2: But then also sexually, if you know, we want to

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Speaker 2: make sure to you know, satisfy each other and keep

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Speaker 2: building this empire, Like I need to be in a

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Speaker 2: state of sexual health, but at the same time, my

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Speaker 2: mental help gotta be there.

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Speaker 3: But to be there dirnt.

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Speaker 2: So I'm just saying, like I want people to be

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Speaker 2: aware that you know, fit in our areas, Like it

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Speaker 2: does need to be a balance, but you also have

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Speaker 2: to be aware when something is off balance and how

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Speaker 2: to correct that. Like it's always perfect, even for me,

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Speaker 2: But I try to be self aware that my husband's

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Speaker 2: very intuned with me as well. And so if we

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Speaker 2: need to tweak our diet, if we need to, you know,

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Speaker 2: keeck up exercise, we need to take it down or

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Speaker 2: notch if he needs to just give me my space

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Speaker 2: and give me a spot day. You know, if I

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Speaker 2: feel like I'm trying to do something as far as

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Speaker 2: like progress the business in a certain area and I

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Speaker 2: don't know enough about something intellectually, I need to go

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Speaker 2: get my ass and some classes or read some books

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Speaker 2: in order to elevate to that next height.

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Speaker 3: So that's kind of how I move. Again.

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Speaker 2: It is not easy, but I feel like if you

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Speaker 2: can find that balance and be self enough to know,

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Speaker 2: like when there is an imbalance and try to tweak it,

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Speaker 2: I'm telling you like, you can elevate to limitless possibilities.

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Speaker 3: All right.

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Speaker 4: I listen, you are dropping gyms, and I love that

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Speaker 4: you talked about how things need to be in balance

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Speaker 4: and that balance is not everything is equal, right, And

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Speaker 4: so when you think about how being like mentally fit,

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Speaker 4: physically fit, sexually fit, how does financial.

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Speaker 6: Fitness and spiritual fitness and business fitness tie into these things.

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Speaker 2: No, I think literally they are priorities as well. Like

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Speaker 2: I'm so glad you mentioned that they are. They're definitely

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Speaker 2: in that same spectrum of being bit because I'm telling you,

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Speaker 2: I mean, think think about marriages. When you think about

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Speaker 2: like the forces, a lot of times it's usually financial

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Speaker 2: if it's not infidelity. And honestly, even with those like

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Speaker 2: I tell people like, let's try to control the controllables too.

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Speaker 2: That's like a big quote that can I use because

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Speaker 2: at the end of the day, this goes back to

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Speaker 2: that big lesson that I had in life.

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Speaker 3: Life is gonna always happen.

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Speaker 2: We cannot control like the circumstances that the world is

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Speaker 2: gonna bring, the economy is gonna bring, you know, how

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Speaker 2: people treat us, how people like us or don't like us, Like,

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Speaker 2: we cannot control that.

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Speaker 3: All we can control is our action.

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Speaker 2: And I'm telling you, like, even with being financially fit,

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Speaker 2: I want to make sure that we are doing everything

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Speaker 2: as a couple, as a family unit to make sure

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Speaker 2: we are maintaining the sustainability of this empire financially. So

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Speaker 2: whatever we need to do to make sure we are

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Speaker 2: continuing to gain knowledge on you know, whether it's bringing

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Speaker 2: in income, whether it's saving, whether it's investing, whether it's

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Speaker 2: figuring out like tax strategies. I always want to gain knowledge,

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Speaker 2: like it's not enough knowledge out there right. Spiritually that's

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Speaker 2: important as well, because that means that our energy is

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Speaker 2: going to be in balance.

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Speaker 3: That means that we're all in see you know, and so.

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Speaker 2: Child, Sometimes what we deal with the world, we need

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Speaker 2: to make sure that our spirit and our energy is level.

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Speaker 2: I like tell you so many out of all the

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Speaker 2: things on the spectrum, it might be like the spiritual

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Speaker 2: they gets chats at them.

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Speaker 3: Yes, girl, the energy and.

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Speaker 2: So yes, I think I constantly we have to get

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Speaker 2: back back in balance spiritually for sure.

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Speaker 3: That will probably be about top.

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Speaker 2: Hey girl, Hey, we hope you're enjoying this conversation as

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00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:28,480
Speaker 2: much as we are. But let's be real, it costs

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Speaker 2: money to podcast, and we got bills to pay, So

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Speaker 2: enjoy this commercial break as you process what we've been

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Speaker 2: talking about. And remember, when you support our sponsors, you're

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00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:42,080
Speaker 2: also supporting us. Lady.

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00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:45,680
Speaker 4: What's the one thing most history books all over the

437
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:49,679
Speaker 4: world have in common? You already know, but they're seriously

438
00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:55,160
Speaker 4: lacking in the melon department. Well, wonder is new podcast,

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00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:58,840
Speaker 4: Black History for Real, is about to flip the script

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Speaker 4: on all of that. Host Francesca Ramsey and consciously will

441
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:07,760
Speaker 4: be chronicling Black trials and triumphs you've never heard about,

442
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:12,520
Speaker 4: even though we've been doing a damn thing since forever. Together,

443
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:16,639
Speaker 4: they'll read black history's most overlooked figures back into the

444
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:20,200
Speaker 4: rightful place in American culture and all over the world.

445
00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:23,679
Speaker 2: Learn more about the most overlooked Black history makers and

446
00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:27,160
Speaker 2: events you already know about, not just during Black History Month.

447
00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:30,919
Speaker 2: They even spill the occasional historical tea and child. We

448
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:34,560
Speaker 2: know that historical tea is often the hottest and usually

449
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:36,560
Speaker 2: pours the best all facts.

450
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:37,240
Speaker 3: No cap.

451
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:41,320
Speaker 2: Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or

452
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:45,359
Speaker 2: wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February fifth,

453
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:48,040
Speaker 2: and you can listen to future episodes early and add

454
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 2: free on Wondery Plus. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery

455
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:57,199
Speaker 2: app or on Apple Podcasts. All right, let's get back

456
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:57,680
Speaker 2: to the show.

457
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:01,960
Speaker 3: Yes, good, feed, this is this is so good.

458
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:05,800
Speaker 2: I love that you're talking about supporting and and creating

459
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:08,680
Speaker 2: space for your whole self and not just one aspect

460
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:11,200
Speaker 2: of yourself, like it's so important to really be balanced

461
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:14,080
Speaker 2: in all areas, Sophie. We are just getting started with

462
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:16,960
Speaker 2: this conversation. We're enjoying it so much, but we want

463
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,359
Speaker 2: to shift up the energy a little bit.

464
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:18,760
Speaker 3: Okay.

465
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 2: So, because we recognize and appreciate and celebrate the multifaceted woman,

466
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:27,240
Speaker 2: and we believe that it's okay to be bougie, classy

467
00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:30,200
Speaker 2: and ratchet, we believe that you can still be elegant

468
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:33,040
Speaker 2: and dance to strip club music, right, So we want

469
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:36,280
Speaker 2: to invite you to the OHU blatchet segment? Do you

470
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:37,960
Speaker 2: take on the challenge?

471
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:39,040
Speaker 3: Yeah?

472
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:39,280
Speaker 2: You know.

473
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:43,320
Speaker 3: Also it's the ratchet my oh we go Okay, I

474
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:43,720
Speaker 3: love it.

475
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:46,080
Speaker 2: You in the right space and girl, Because now that

476
00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:47,920
Speaker 2: you've agreed, we're going to tell you what to expect.

477
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:50,240
Speaker 3: So we have three questions for you.

478
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:54,320
Speaker 2: We have three sentence completions, and then we've been taking

479
00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:57,360
Speaker 2: a look at your social media. We have three photos

480
00:27:57,359 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 2: pulled up, but we're gonna have you choose one photo

481
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:02,080
Speaker 2: and we want you to provide some context about the

482
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,239
Speaker 2: photo that we wouldn't know just by looking at it.

483
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:08,760
Speaker 2: So I'm gonna start off with the re questions So

484
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:10,720
Speaker 2: the first question I'm gonna ease into this piece. So

485
00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:14,000
Speaker 2: the first question is what's the best piece of wisdom

486
00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:15,720
Speaker 2: or advice you've ever received?

487
00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:23,320
Speaker 3: Ooh, you know what I love is don't get better?

488
00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:24,080
Speaker 3: Get better?

489
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:31,920
Speaker 2: And I love that because the way i'm you know,

490
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:37,760
Speaker 2: people are gonna sometimes people are gonna often do you wrong.

491
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:41,880
Speaker 2: People are gonna often diminish your potential. People are gonna

492
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:46,840
Speaker 2: often devalue you, and honestly, and instead of getting mad

493
00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:49,760
Speaker 2: about it, instead of trying to seek revenge, let me

494
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:53,480
Speaker 2: tell you something. I literally take that energy and use

495
00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:56,400
Speaker 2: it as fuel to go out and either prove them

496
00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:58,920
Speaker 2: wrong or be the best version of myself, babe, because

497
00:28:58,920 --> 00:28:59,440
Speaker 2: you're gonna have to.

498
00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:00,560
Speaker 3: You have to watch me be great.

499
00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:02,160
Speaker 2: You're gonna have to watch me fly right over the

500
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:04,920
Speaker 2: head of yours period period.

501
00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:10,840
Speaker 4: Okay, all right, miss Sophist the ratchet.

502
00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:18,600
Speaker 3: I have four words for you. Twerk or two steps?

503
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:26,880
Speaker 3: What if it's two stepping? No, that's right, said we

504
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:30,240
Speaker 3: twerking over here. She said that's not even the option.

505
00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:35,080
Speaker 3: What so we never had that response. I love that.

506
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:39,440
Speaker 2: I love it trying to have Maganese at eighties.

507
00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:47,760
Speaker 3: So rotation, Yes, Yes, love to hear it.

508
00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:50,240
Speaker 2: Come on, okay, So our next question for you, our

509
00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 2: last question for the segment is what's the sexiest item

510
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:55,719
Speaker 2: you own? And I am taking notes. I cannot wait

511
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:56,960
Speaker 2: to hear what you're gonna say for this one. What

512
00:29:57,040 --> 00:29:58,400
Speaker 2: is the sexiest item you own?

513
00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:03,120
Speaker 3: Okay? You know what's funny?

514
00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:06,760
Speaker 2: Like you know, I could be the you know, diplomatic

515
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:13,880
Speaker 2: cliche like my skin my confidence, which is great. But y'all,

516
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:18,880
Speaker 2: my wig collection is pretty lit. My collection is pretty lit.

517
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:21,880
Speaker 2: And I have one particular wig.

518
00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:22,440
Speaker 3: Okay.

519
00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:25,880
Speaker 2: So y'all want a story, Yes we do. We love

520
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:30,479
Speaker 2: story time. So I have one wig that is like

521
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:32,480
Speaker 2: one of my favorites. She does not come out often,

522
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:37,120
Speaker 2: but her name is Mercedes, and she is a She

523
00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:41,680
Speaker 2: is a sexy, curly blonde and you know, in fact,

524
00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:44,000
Speaker 2: keep up keep up with me if you're watching and listening.

525
00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:53,000
Speaker 2: In fact, she is the biological mom of Tjers. So

526
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:57,560
Speaker 2: TJ has Mercedes hair. Oh you know what I'm gonna

527
00:30:57,560 --> 00:30:59,240
Speaker 2: get you. I just got it, Okay, my baby.

528
00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:03,560
Speaker 3: I got I called it so no.

529
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:06,000
Speaker 2: On the on the day that on the day that

530
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:09,800
Speaker 2: TJ was essentially conceived, Yes, Tay and I had date

531
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:13,360
Speaker 2: night and that was the date night that Mercedes came out.

532
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:17,360
Speaker 2: And you know, she she had her waking, she had

533
00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:21,560
Speaker 2: her way, and she she left Tay and I to

534
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:24,719
Speaker 2: be single parents. So you know, we're just doing the

535
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:26,880
Speaker 2: best we can, you.

536
00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:31,719
Speaker 4: Know, and maybe maybe Mercedes may make another appearance, you know,

537
00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:34,920
Speaker 4: and so we never know, mate.

538
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:39,920
Speaker 2: So we see that, curly, if we see Mercedes on

539
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:41,480
Speaker 2: the Instagram, we already know what.

540
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:43,280
Speaker 3: We know it already know.

541
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:48,080
Speaker 2: You just count the nine months up. You just all right,

542
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:50,480
Speaker 2: this is when the next one. Okay, cool, we got it. Okay,

543
00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:56,760
Speaker 2: love that story. Talk Okay, it's okay. So we're gonna

544
00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:58,960
Speaker 2: move on to sentence completion.

545
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:05,320
Speaker 4: So our first symptoms completion is one question or topic

546
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:08,040
Speaker 4: I wish people asked me about more often?

547
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:14,400
Speaker 2: Is Yeah, a couple of things, But you know what,

548
00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:18,880
Speaker 2: the main thing that I wished, honestly that more black

549
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:26,320
Speaker 2: women asked me is just about guidance on elevation, promotion

550
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:31,320
Speaker 2: and increased compensation in the workplace. Like I have that

551
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:35,160
Speaker 2: downpacked and I have seen, especially so many black women

552
00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:40,160
Speaker 2: kind of like devalue themselves because of imposter syndrome in

553
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:43,200
Speaker 2: the workplace and just we am like too afraid to

554
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:47,440
Speaker 2: want to ask for the elevation or the promotion or

555
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:48,640
Speaker 2: increased compensation.

556
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:50,160
Speaker 3: And I'm like, no, let's do it.

557
00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:51,880
Speaker 2: Let me give you guidance on how to do it,

558
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:54,040
Speaker 2: Like we can definitely do it and we don't have

559
00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:56,960
Speaker 2: to be aggressive about it or compromise ourselves, Like there

560
00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:58,240
Speaker 2: is a way to get.

561
00:32:58,080 --> 00:32:59,960
Speaker 3: There, and I wish I could help more women.

562
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:03,680
Speaker 2: For sure, you are not going to believe this, Okay,

563
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:06,400
Speaker 2: so get ready our next sentence completion.

564
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:09,000
Speaker 3: It's our next sentence completion?

565
00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:13,920
Speaker 2: Is my go to best practice when compensation and elevation

566
00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:15,160
Speaker 2: in the workplace is.

567
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:19,560
Speaker 3: It's not we just made it.

568
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:25,600
Speaker 2: I know that it apart, but be a safe prude,

569
00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:29,200
Speaker 2: But what would that best practice be? Like what would

570
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:30,840
Speaker 2: you share if you had to share like a sentence

571
00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:32,720
Speaker 2: or two about compensation and elevation?

572
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:37,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, So so two things I will tell people.

573
00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:40,120
Speaker 2: First, I'm like, make sure you're you're in positions to

574
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:45,360
Speaker 2: actually deserve that right with the word, because you know

575
00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:48,480
Speaker 2: a lot of people actually think that just because I've

576
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:51,240
Speaker 2: served a certain amount of years or just because I've

577
00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:54,440
Speaker 2: accomplished kind of like everything on my responsibilities, Like I

578
00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:56,920
Speaker 2: just deserve it, and it's just entitle man I'm like,

579
00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 2: that's not really how it works, Like, let's make sure

580
00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:03,600
Speaker 2: to put this yourselves to where you are an opportunity

581
00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:09,680
Speaker 2: and right so birth and foremost. But no, I literally

582
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:11,600
Speaker 2: tell people like, I don't even know if you all

583
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:14,200
Speaker 2: have read this book, but go for no, Like that's

584
00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:15,920
Speaker 2: a real thing. I tell people like, go for no,

585
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:18,759
Speaker 2: Like what's the worst that can happen if you just ask?

586
00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:20,759
Speaker 2: A lot of people are just scared, so they never

587
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:23,279
Speaker 2: say anything and they never ask. But if you can

588
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:25,359
Speaker 2: position yourself to just ask.

589
00:34:25,680 --> 00:34:26,680
Speaker 3: Like give me time.

590
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:31,880
Speaker 2: I have been offered promotion or a conversation increase, and

591
00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:34,160
Speaker 2: literally I got to the point where I used to

592
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:38,759
Speaker 2: just counter just because like it didn't matter. I was like,

593
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:41,799
Speaker 2: I'm like, this is great. I feel like, you know,

594
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:44,480
Speaker 2: I would actually like this because this is and this

595
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 2: and this, and either they will say yes or they

596
00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:48,799
Speaker 2: will say no.

597
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:51,279
Speaker 3: And ont times they will say yes, and I would

598
00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:51,719
Speaker 3: be like.

599
00:34:53,239 --> 00:34:55,520
Speaker 2: I would have been sitting me here and not seeing them,

600
00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:59,080
Speaker 2: been just fucking little lossad. But literally, the worst that

601
00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:01,960
Speaker 2: has happened is some mighty said no before and guess what.

602
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:05,480
Speaker 2: I kept my job, I got my promotion, and we

603
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:10,080
Speaker 2: all still were happy. Go lucky the next day, like

604
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:13,479
Speaker 2: it really did not hurt. It was I did not die.

605
00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:15,759
Speaker 2: I did not lose my job. So I tell people

606
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:17,239
Speaker 2: to go for no, Like what's the worst that can

607
00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:19,399
Speaker 2: happen when you really think about it, Like I gotta

608
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:21,960
Speaker 2: get fired because you asked for a counter or you

609
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:24,440
Speaker 2: ask for promotion, like what's the work of the captain?

610
00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:27,359
Speaker 3: They say no. And if you feel like you really deserve.

611
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:33,560
Speaker 2: More, oh, you're value is that great? Somebody else will

612
00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:37,840
Speaker 2: need and want you. Period, that's relationship, says.

613
00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:41,120
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm going to get that book. I love that.

614
00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:47,919
Speaker 4: Yes. Yeah, So our final sentence completion. What I love

615
00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:50,040
Speaker 4: most about myself.

616
00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:53,719
Speaker 3: Is I don't work. I'll just let it be a

617
00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:58,399
Speaker 3: black woman. It's literally here, Yes it is. Yes.

618
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:02,719
Speaker 2: I feel like we are just the most beautiful, unique

619
00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:08,680
Speaker 2: hard work. I mean like it's endless what I can say.

620
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:11,800
Speaker 2: I just wouldn't trade it for the world. Oh my gosh,

621
00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:12,880
Speaker 2: it's so amazing.

622
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:14,400
Speaker 3: I just love it.

623
00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:19,360
Speaker 2: Okay, period, this answer, it is just seasoned and moisturized

624
00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:22,040
Speaker 2: over here, like, come does.

625
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:27,080
Speaker 3: That was a good answer for you? We love it.

626
00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:28,919
Speaker 2: So we have the photos pulled up and I feed

627
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:30,879
Speaker 2: you made this so hard because you are flys hell

628
00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:33,400
Speaker 2: these photos are I'm just saying I'm trying to be

629
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:34,960
Speaker 2: like you when I grow up. Okay, so we got

630
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:36,360
Speaker 2: these photos pulled up, but what we want you to

631
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:39,200
Speaker 2: do is choose a number out of one in three

632
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 2: and once you choose that number, I'll put the photo

633
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:42,840
Speaker 2: on the big screen, and then we want you to

634
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:44,759
Speaker 2: share some context about the photo that we would not

635
00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:45,719
Speaker 2: know by looking at it.

636
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:48,000
Speaker 3: Sophie, which one of these photos?

637
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:48,160
Speaker 4: Are you?

638
00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:54,720
Speaker 3: Cheeses? What number? Okay, let's go with Umno, what's often?

639
00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:57,840
Speaker 3: Get won this photo? Okay? Get ready, so lady that

640
00:36:57,880 --> 00:36:59,840
Speaker 3: you chose this? Okay, So the photos coming up on

641
00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:00,400
Speaker 3: the screen.

642
00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:02,200
Speaker 2: Y'all have to tune in on Patreon if you want

643
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:05,080
Speaker 2: to see the photo. To go to hersplays podcast dot com. Sofie,

644
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:07,919
Speaker 2: can you describe the photo for people who can see

645
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:08,320
Speaker 2: the photo?

646
00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:11,360
Speaker 3: Okay? Oh yes, she.

647
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:17,560
Speaker 2: M okay, So okay, so describe the photo? Okay. So,

648
00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:22,960
Speaker 2: I actually have a you know, sexy black dress one

649
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:27,960
Speaker 2: it has like some mesh happening. I actually have one

650
00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:33,000
Speaker 2: not even named this wig yet, but but she's like

651
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:37,920
Speaker 2: an ombre. Like what kind of blonde would I ash? Blonde?

652
00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:44,600
Speaker 2: I would say yes, and but context of the photo,

653
00:37:44,719 --> 00:37:49,040
Speaker 2: this is actually we were in Atlanta as a matter

654
00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:53,520
Speaker 2: of fact, and Tay and I had date night and

655
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:57,520
Speaker 2: we were going to the opening of one of our

656
00:37:57,800 --> 00:37:59,880
Speaker 2: favorite vegan restaurants, plan To.

657
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:03,640
Speaker 3: And we just had a ball. We just had a ball.

658
00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:07,920
Speaker 2: We got dressed, you know, like I spent hours doing

659
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:10,120
Speaker 2: my makeup, and I was just like, I feel sexy

660
00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:11,160
Speaker 2: and I just want to go out.

661
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:13,720
Speaker 3: And you know, luckily I didn't get knocked up again.

662
00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:21,400
Speaker 2: But but any words, love it. But Tay and I

663
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:23,239
Speaker 2: had a ball, so we both got dressed up, got

664
00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:25,759
Speaker 2: real cute. TJ signed off on this, he allowed it,

665
00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:28,080
Speaker 2: and yes it was.

666
00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:30,000
Speaker 3: It was a night. It was a nice night out

667
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:33,080
Speaker 3: for the parents in Atlanta. This is just beautiful. It's

668
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:34,600
Speaker 3: getting snatched. I'm like, you better go.

669
00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:36,960
Speaker 2: Hey, okay, so y'all have to go to Patren again

670
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:39,400
Speaker 2: to see that image. But thank you so much for

671
00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:42,680
Speaker 2: playing along with us for the oh you go this segment.

672
00:38:42,719 --> 00:38:45,360
Speaker 2: This is so fun and we're gonna transition into.

673
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:48,920
Speaker 3: Some other questions. You like it, So I want to

674
00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:52,840
Speaker 3: say fee you and Tay. Your love story is wild.

675
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:56,320
Speaker 2: Like I watched your YouTube video and after watching it,

676
00:38:56,320 --> 00:38:57,719
Speaker 2: it is so divinely.

677
00:38:57,880 --> 00:38:58,880
Speaker 3: I got goosebumps right now.

678
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:01,879
Speaker 2: It is so divinely or frustrated, Like it's like, okay, yeah,

679
00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:03,960
Speaker 2: from the beginning of time, like y'all were meant to

680
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:06,320
Speaker 2: be together. It's just y'all have to go to YouTube

681
00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:09,279
Speaker 2: and check out their love story. So we want to know.

682
00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:12,560
Speaker 2: Could you discuss the early stages of your connection with

683
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:16,040
Speaker 2: your husband, Tay and how it evolved from friendships to

684
00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:18,040
Speaker 2: a successful power couple dynamic.

685
00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:21,520
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. Yeah.

686
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:24,719
Speaker 2: So you know, when we kind of say we met

687
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:27,800
Speaker 2: at fifteen and sixteen, I'm a cougar by the way, okay,

688
00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:29,080
Speaker 2: like I'm the one that's one.

689
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:29,960
Speaker 3: You're older.

690
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:34,360
Speaker 2: But you know, when we tell people we met at

691
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:37,800
Speaker 2: fifteen sixteen, they assumed that we like dated and we're

692
00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:41,240
Speaker 2: like long lost lovers from like high school or something

693
00:39:41,520 --> 00:39:46,320
Speaker 2: and we reunited and so no, we actually just simply

694
00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:49,279
Speaker 2: worked together during our high school years.

695
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:52,200
Speaker 3: We didn't go to school together, but we did work together.

696
00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:57,480
Speaker 2: At a it looks at TJ Max's equivalent, and basically

697
00:39:57,560 --> 00:39:59,959
Speaker 2: him and his best friend and I were like super

698
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 2: We were close. They were kind of like my babies

699
00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:04,680
Speaker 2: because both of them were younger than us. As a

700
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:06,920
Speaker 2: matter of fact, I don't even think his best friend

701
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,400
Speaker 2: was legally able to work, but he was working.

702
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:12,359
Speaker 3: He was getting the check. Okay, they were. They weren't

703
00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:15,319
Speaker 3: checking stuff back then.

704
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:19,120
Speaker 2: So nonetheless, we were just really really good friends, and

705
00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:22,280
Speaker 2: that was kind of it as far as I was concerned.

706
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:25,440
Speaker 2: There was never like any love interest or anything like that.

707
00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:28,480
Speaker 2: I never even went there. Now, I think Tay in

708
00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:30,200
Speaker 2: the fact he said it was plotting. He was like

709
00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:32,600
Speaker 2: almost get her one day. But I did not know

710
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:36,720
Speaker 2: if this until we officially got together, which is funny,

711
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:42,880
Speaker 2: So honest we are. Our first encounters was strictly friendship,

712
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:46,719
Speaker 2: like really good friendship, and we just kind of kept

713
00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:50,080
Speaker 2: up with each other over the years, meaning that you know,

714
00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:53,120
Speaker 2: we would just checking in. You know, hey, how you doing,

715
00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:56,320
Speaker 2: howard things going? I see you doing great things.

716
00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:58,239
Speaker 3: Keep it up. But that was it.

717
00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:04,120
Speaker 2: So really when we kind of reconnected years later, you know,

718
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:07,120
Speaker 2: of course, is Harry's point, lease go indulge in our

719
00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:09,960
Speaker 2: actual story because it is crazy how.

720
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:12,000
Speaker 3: It unfolds and kind.

721
00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:15,280
Speaker 2: Of the connections that happened that we didn't even know about.

722
00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:20,240
Speaker 2: But nonetheless, when we when we kind of like touched

723
00:41:20,239 --> 00:41:23,120
Speaker 2: base on a deeper level of years later. It was

724
00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:26,239
Speaker 2: more or less he kind of reached out to me

725
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:30,720
Speaker 2: for some advice on some stuff and we were talking.

726
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:35,920
Speaker 2: At that time, I had kind of like established my business.

727
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:38,759
Speaker 2: I was in a really really good place. You know,

728
00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:41,680
Speaker 2: I was debt free in my life. I was at

729
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:45,160
Speaker 2: the top of my career, established my business, and I

730
00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:47,920
Speaker 2: was looking to create another stream of income. And I

731
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:51,440
Speaker 2: saw that he had just started his secure back program,

732
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:53,799
Speaker 2: and you know, he was telling me about it, and

733
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:56,400
Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, I wanted out deeper because at

734
00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:58,880
Speaker 2: that time, I actually was really good with managing my

735
00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:00,359
Speaker 2: retirement portfolio.

736
00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:03,200
Speaker 3: I had always been on top of that, Like my

737
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:04,000
Speaker 3: mom was.

738
00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:07,400
Speaker 2: On point when making sure we were kind of financially savvy,

739
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:11,120
Speaker 2: and she got me into like retirement accounts and learning

740
00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:13,680
Speaker 2: how to manage those, which a lot of people kind

741
00:42:13,719 --> 00:42:16,640
Speaker 2: of work into yet cause they're like even in retirement age.

742
00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:18,239
Speaker 3: And I'm like, no, let me get on it.

743
00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:21,640
Speaker 2: So I kind of was familiar already with how stocks

744
00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:26,000
Speaker 2: worked and you know, how different funds work. And so

745
00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:27,959
Speaker 2: by the time I got with Hey, I just wanted

746
00:42:28,040 --> 00:42:31,480
Speaker 2: him to really like push me into having more empowerment

747
00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:33,880
Speaker 2: to manage stuff a little bit more on my own.

748
00:42:34,520 --> 00:42:38,840
Speaker 2: And so honestly, that's that's kind of how it started.

749
00:42:38,920 --> 00:42:41,120
Speaker 2: Got into the program. He kind of found out what

750
00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:46,960
Speaker 2: I did professionally, and he's like, hey, I'm like more

751
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:50,640
Speaker 2: of a content creator. He's like, I don't really do

752
00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:54,640
Speaker 2: like a ton with like foll business operations, especially as

753
00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:56,719
Speaker 2: I'm growing. He's like, I would love for you to

754
00:42:56,719 --> 00:42:59,439
Speaker 2: come in and help me with that. So that's where

755
00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:03,200
Speaker 2: the partner begin and that's that's when you start sliding

756
00:43:03,239 --> 00:43:03,919
Speaker 2: in the back.

757
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:09,080
Speaker 3: Then you know, come on, you're boat to be my girl.

758
00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:09,680
Speaker 3: Stop playing.

759
00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:13,960
Speaker 4: I love that and I do hope that our listeners

760
00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:17,080
Speaker 4: do go and check out the YouTube story to get

761
00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:19,040
Speaker 4: all the other details.

762
00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:19,759
Speaker 6: And so.

763
00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:27,240
Speaker 7: When you think about you and Tay like coming together

764
00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:33,600
Speaker 7: and building this impire, I know that we have ladies

765
00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:37,160
Speaker 7: who are listening that are like, ooh, can this happen

766
00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:37,440
Speaker 7: for me?

767
00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:39,760
Speaker 3: How can I make this work?

768
00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:41,440
Speaker 2: So?

769
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:46,960
Speaker 4: What are some of the essential factors that women should

770
00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:53,720
Speaker 4: consider before entering in a relationship, whether it's romantic, business

771
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:54,280
Speaker 4: or both.

772
00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:02,080
Speaker 3: So I think of a few things. I think of

773
00:44:02,120 --> 00:44:02,600
Speaker 3: a few.

774
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:06,200
Speaker 2: Things, and the top things that come to my mind

775
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:19,600
Speaker 2: are intentionality, communication, and hold on to your weeks submission,

776
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:27,640
Speaker 2: And honestly, I'm going to explain submission because I know

777
00:44:28,520 --> 00:44:31,319
Speaker 2: before y'all log off, I'm going to explain this before

778
00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:35,000
Speaker 2: y'all log don't push that button, don't do it. I'm

779
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:37,040
Speaker 2: going to explain what I mean by this because I

780
00:44:37,080 --> 00:44:39,160
Speaker 2: do want to break this down, because I feel like

781
00:44:39,239 --> 00:44:43,640
Speaker 2: this term gets lost or or misconstrued a.

782
00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:45,040
Speaker 3: Lot of times, and I want to break this down.

783
00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:48,680
Speaker 2: So, of course, first two, I want to make sure

784
00:44:48,719 --> 00:44:52,439
Speaker 2: that whoever I'm entering a relationship with especially to build

785
00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:53,160
Speaker 2: something bigger.

786
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:55,080
Speaker 3: Like I literally when.

787
00:44:54,960 --> 00:45:00,080
Speaker 2: I when I got into my relationship with Tay, I

788
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:03,000
Speaker 2: wasn't a place in my life where I was very

789
00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:07,960
Speaker 2: serious about who I dated and very intentional about who

790
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:10,000
Speaker 2: I dated and why I was dating them, Like I

791
00:45:10,080 --> 00:45:13,719
Speaker 2: really was looking to deal with somebody, and so it

792
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:16,520
Speaker 2: had to be right, Like I couldn't be, you know,

793
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:20,280
Speaker 2: playing around. I couldn't be just lightly and casually dating.

794
00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:22,799
Speaker 2: I was just like, I'd rather stay single until I

795
00:45:22,800 --> 00:45:26,560
Speaker 2: feel like somebody is really here and intentionally wanted to

796
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:30,920
Speaker 2: run with a partner, and he made that very clear.

797
00:45:31,160 --> 00:45:35,319
Speaker 2: He was very intentional with what he wanted, what his

798
00:45:35,480 --> 00:45:39,279
Speaker 2: goals were, what he wanted with somebody else what that

799
00:45:39,360 --> 00:45:43,360
Speaker 2: looked like for him. And also we had no problem

800
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:47,880
Speaker 2: very clearly communicating exactly what we wanted. And I felt like,

801
00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:50,080
Speaker 2: you know what, at this age, we two damn grown

802
00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:52,239
Speaker 2: to not be saying what we want. Okay, I'm not

803
00:45:52,239 --> 00:45:54,680
Speaker 2: about to skirt around it. I'm not about to skirt

804
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:56,960
Speaker 2: under it, like none of that. Like you say what

805
00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:00,520
Speaker 2: you want, I say what I want. And that kind

806
00:46:00,560 --> 00:46:05,319
Speaker 2: of leads into the submission piece, right, and so so

807
00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:07,480
Speaker 2: let's talk about that because I know a lot of

808
00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:12,439
Speaker 2: people say you know, or they use the user phrase like, oh,

809
00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:13,680
Speaker 2: you're a submissive woman.

810
00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:16,920
Speaker 3: And submission to me is not like a.

811
00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:22,440
Speaker 2: It's not something that I am or something that people

812
00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:24,480
Speaker 2: are like, That's not how I look at it.

813
00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:27,560
Speaker 3: Submission to me is an actual action.

814
00:46:28,239 --> 00:46:32,360
Speaker 2: And so what I tell people, you know, this is

815
00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:33,719
Speaker 2: how you need to think of it to make it

816
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:38,520
Speaker 2: more digestible. With Tay and I being very intentional about

817
00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:42,000
Speaker 2: what we wanted and who we were and communicating that

818
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 2: very well, we basically laid out on the table exactly

819
00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:51,960
Speaker 2: what a relationship will look like, what building an empire

820
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:55,560
Speaker 2: will look like, what you know, our future would look

821
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:59,000
Speaker 2: like together and what our expectations were for each other

822
00:46:59,160 --> 00:47:02,200
Speaker 2: and our partner, even when it came to children, like

823
00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:04,799
Speaker 2: what do we expect these roles to look like? What

824
00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:06,960
Speaker 2: do we expect the support to look like? What do

825
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:09,600
Speaker 2: we expect the values to look like? And when we

826
00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:14,440
Speaker 2: set all that to the on the table, submission was

827
00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:19,800
Speaker 2: essentially us saying are we agreeable to these things?

828
00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:20,640
Speaker 3: Right?

829
00:47:21,520 --> 00:47:25,040
Speaker 2: And if we are, that's what we will submit to

830
00:47:25,640 --> 00:47:29,080
Speaker 2: and hold ourselves accountable to in this relationship. So it's

831
00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:32,160
Speaker 2: two sided, and it wasn't something that's like, well you

832
00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:35,520
Speaker 2: submit to me, No, it's like, we submit to these

833
00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:38,600
Speaker 2: things to keep each other accountable for the growth of

834
00:47:38,680 --> 00:47:40,440
Speaker 2: this relationship in this empire.

835
00:47:40,800 --> 00:47:41,719
Speaker 3: That is submission.

836
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:45,960
Speaker 2: You submit to the agreement and expectations to each other

837
00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:49,320
Speaker 2: to make sure you are on point and moving forward.

838
00:47:49,560 --> 00:47:53,120
Speaker 2: And guess what the beauty about submission to agreements and

839
00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:56,279
Speaker 2: contracts and whatever else is they can always be amended,

840
00:47:56,480 --> 00:47:59,600
Speaker 2: you can always compromise and whatever else. So if you

841
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:01,319
Speaker 2: need to say, sit down, if y'all in a phase

842
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:05,160
Speaker 2: in your life where things are different i e. Becoming parents,

843
00:48:05,560 --> 00:48:08,400
Speaker 2: i e. Me being a mom, and stuff looking real different,

844
00:48:09,200 --> 00:48:12,840
Speaker 2: we need to negotiate this contract okay, because sex foot

845
00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:17,360
Speaker 2: a little bit different now, right, the time that I

846
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:20,239
Speaker 2: may be able to invest in the business looks a

847
00:48:20,280 --> 00:48:23,360
Speaker 2: little bit different, Like, we got to negotiate this contract

848
00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:26,440
Speaker 2: and then we need to resubmit to what the new

849
00:48:26,640 --> 00:48:31,240
Speaker 2: expectations look like. And so honestly, when we were able

850
00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:34,800
Speaker 2: to agree on that, and when it looked very good

851
00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:39,920
Speaker 2: to both of us, that's when I was able to

852
00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:43,840
Speaker 2: move forward and say, let's run and do this. If, honestly,

853
00:48:43,920 --> 00:48:46,840
Speaker 2: our expectations did not align, we were not on the

854
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:52,640
Speaker 2: same page again, financially, spiritually, mentally, intellectually, it won't gonna work,

855
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:55,240
Speaker 2: and we could both walk away and not have wasted

856
00:48:55,280 --> 00:48:56,000
Speaker 2: each other's time.

857
00:48:57,480 --> 00:49:01,640
Speaker 6: Oh my gosh, I love of this answer.

858
00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:10,279
Speaker 4: I thank you Phee for providing our listeners with one

859
00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:20,880
Speaker 4: probably one of the best explanations around submission, around partnership. Lady,

860
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:23,440
Speaker 4: as you are listening, I want you to press pause

861
00:49:23,520 --> 00:49:26,000
Speaker 4: and go back there and rewind and listen to Feeds

862
00:49:26,080 --> 00:49:30,920
Speaker 4: answer one more time to really make sure that you

863
00:49:31,160 --> 00:49:37,960
Speaker 4: got that because there were so many important points in

864
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:38,640
Speaker 4: your answer.

865
00:49:38,719 --> 00:49:44,520
Speaker 2: Thank you, Pee, Yes, okay, Fena, full transparency okay, Domini

866
00:49:44,560 --> 00:49:47,080
Speaker 2: and lady, we're letting you behind the scenes right now. Okay,

867
00:49:47,239 --> 00:49:50,480
Speaker 2: we have We've had four podcast interviews this week. We

868
00:49:50,560 --> 00:49:53,080
Speaker 2: have two today in addition to you, and we have

869
00:49:53,120 --> 00:49:55,440
Speaker 2: another interview coming up. And we feel like this conversation

870
00:49:55,560 --> 00:49:58,479
Speaker 2: is just getting started, so we may have to pitch

871
00:49:58,520 --> 00:50:00,600
Speaker 2: you again to have you back on the pod to

872
00:50:00,640 --> 00:50:01,800
Speaker 2: dive into more topics.

873
00:50:01,920 --> 00:50:03,960
Speaker 3: If you're down for that, Okay, good of us.

874
00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:05,880
Speaker 2: But one of the things that I talked to you

875
00:50:05,880 --> 00:50:08,520
Speaker 2: about is I want to get your insight on and

876
00:50:08,560 --> 00:50:10,160
Speaker 2: maybe this could be another topic we'll see, but I

877
00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:12,080
Speaker 2: want to get your insight on pretty privileged, and I

878
00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:14,400
Speaker 2: want to give you some context behind this question. So

879
00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:17,560
Speaker 2: growing up, you know, being abused, struggling with low self

880
00:50:17,640 --> 00:50:19,560
Speaker 2: esteem and depression and being bolded and things like that

881
00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:22,440
Speaker 2: really impacted my self image and the way that I

882
00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:24,640
Speaker 2: saw myself. And so now at this stage and age

883
00:50:24,640 --> 00:50:27,680
Speaker 2: and big age in life, I'm embracing my sexuality and

884
00:50:27,719 --> 00:50:31,239
Speaker 2: sensuality and confidence more openly. Right, And so despite it

885
00:50:31,280 --> 00:50:34,760
Speaker 2: being a positive experience, I think that what really holds

886
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:37,040
Speaker 2: me back sometimes is being overly concerned with.

887
00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:37,959
Speaker 3: The opinions of other people.

888
00:50:38,040 --> 00:50:39,719
Speaker 2: Right, So, like before I post this picture, oh my gosh,

889
00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:41,719
Speaker 2: what is someone going to say because it's sexy and

890
00:50:41,760 --> 00:50:43,799
Speaker 2: it's new for me, but like, what are people going

891
00:50:43,840 --> 00:50:46,759
Speaker 2: to say? So I'm thinking about situations when you know,

892
00:50:46,800 --> 00:50:49,080
Speaker 2: I've gone into settings and I feel good, I look good,

893
00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:52,439
Speaker 2: and I sense I hate to use the J word,

894
00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:55,360
Speaker 2: but I sense like some jealousy, maybe some envy and

895
00:50:55,400 --> 00:50:57,600
Speaker 2: hating from other women. You know howadays where you can't

896
00:50:57,719 --> 00:51:00,680
Speaker 2: you can't, like you can't see it and like put

897
00:51:00,719 --> 00:51:02,319
Speaker 2: it in a you know and package it, but you

898
00:51:02,440 --> 00:51:03,240
Speaker 2: know what you feel.

899
00:51:03,280 --> 00:51:05,040
Speaker 3: And so I want to know how do you deal

900
00:51:05,160 --> 00:51:07,680
Speaker 3: with haters? How do you like?

901
00:51:07,719 --> 00:51:10,000
Speaker 2: What's the mental process that you have before posting a

902
00:51:10,040 --> 00:51:12,480
Speaker 2: sexy picture? Like, give us some insight into that whole

903
00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:15,080
Speaker 2: journey for you as a beautiful woman who looks like

904
00:51:15,080 --> 00:51:20,799
Speaker 2: a supermodel don't girl, No thanks, hey, welcome, Thank you

905
00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:23,040
Speaker 2: for that. And I feel like that's probably something all

906
00:51:23,080 --> 00:51:25,640
Speaker 2: of us on here have struggled with, because clearly you

907
00:51:25,760 --> 00:51:31,600
Speaker 2: are gorgeous, gorgeous women. But I will say that sometimes

908
00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:37,640
Speaker 2: I still struggle with that, and honestly, I think what's

909
00:51:37,640 --> 00:51:41,880
Speaker 2: disappointing is even at this level. I mean even recently,

910
00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:50,400
Speaker 2: I have had situations happen with even people who I

911
00:51:50,560 --> 00:51:53,799
Speaker 2: recognize or kind of thought were like leaders in our

912
00:51:53,840 --> 00:51:59,200
Speaker 2: space that have just been like inappropriate, have kind of

913
00:51:59,239 --> 00:52:04,919
Speaker 2: been shaded towards me, or have done inappropriate things, even

914
00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:08,400
Speaker 2: towards like my husband knowing I've been in the picture,

915
00:52:08,719 --> 00:52:11,359
Speaker 2: and that's what kind of throws me off.

916
00:52:11,400 --> 00:52:16,200
Speaker 3: I like, work for you, okay, I was with you

917
00:52:18,840 --> 00:52:20,040
Speaker 3: was pretty much right.

918
00:52:20,200 --> 00:52:22,719
Speaker 2: So honestly, I think that kind of brings me back

919
00:52:22,719 --> 00:52:24,560
Speaker 2: to the faith where I'm having to redeal with it

920
00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:28,640
Speaker 2: because it's when people shocked me, you like, why would

921
00:52:28,719 --> 00:52:29,239
Speaker 2: you do that?

922
00:52:29,520 --> 00:52:29,719
Speaker 3: Right?

923
00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:35,840
Speaker 2: And and you know what, I get to the point

924
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:43,360
Speaker 2: where I I kind of felt like at a certain

925
00:52:43,400 --> 00:52:46,520
Speaker 2: point I was almost people pleasing. I felt like I

926
00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:54,200
Speaker 2: was doing things to kind of debunks like the perceptions

927
00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:58,520
Speaker 2: that they had and kind of not make them feel

928
00:52:58,560 --> 00:53:03,120
Speaker 2: so threatened. But at the same time, I started to

929
00:53:03,120 --> 00:53:06,400
Speaker 2: feel like, why is that my job? Why is that

930
00:53:06,520 --> 00:53:11,040
Speaker 2: my job for me to like be naturally and authentically me,

931
00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:14,080
Speaker 2: but to also feel like I have to hold back

932
00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:17,200
Speaker 2: to spare your feelings because at the end of the day,

933
00:53:17,360 --> 00:53:20,359
Speaker 2: like I had to realize that none of this has

934
00:53:20,400 --> 00:53:24,520
Speaker 2: to do with me. This is a character flaw on

935
00:53:24,600 --> 00:53:26,960
Speaker 2: their end, This is insecurities on their end that I

936
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:27,800
Speaker 2: cannot repair.

937
00:53:27,960 --> 00:53:29,839
Speaker 3: I have no power to repair that.

938
00:53:30,520 --> 00:53:34,560
Speaker 2: And honestly, when I can really like tell myself that,

939
00:53:35,440 --> 00:53:38,160
Speaker 2: then I have to separate myself as far as like

940
00:53:38,760 --> 00:53:41,880
Speaker 2: what I can only control what I control, right, this

941
00:53:41,920 --> 00:53:46,080
Speaker 2: is controlling the controllables. Yes, I can't control their insecurities.

942
00:53:46,160 --> 00:53:49,640
Speaker 2: I can't control maybe their childhood trauma. I can't control

943
00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:53,279
Speaker 2: like the relationships they've been through where somebody has devalued them.

944
00:53:53,560 --> 00:53:57,640
Speaker 2: I cannot control like the actions they did where KRMA

945
00:53:57,760 --> 00:53:58,800
Speaker 2: is coming back around.

946
00:53:58,960 --> 00:54:00,960
Speaker 3: And maybe I'm doing great things.

947
00:54:00,800 --> 00:54:03,880
Speaker 2: Because I was a genuine person, Like I literally cannot

948
00:54:04,040 --> 00:54:07,000
Speaker 2: control stuff on their end. So when I got to

949
00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:09,600
Speaker 2: that point, I literally was like, all I can do

950
00:54:09,800 --> 00:54:13,400
Speaker 2: is be a great and genuine person and that energy

951
00:54:13,440 --> 00:54:15,800
Speaker 2: will come back to me. And then also, let me

952
00:54:15,800 --> 00:54:17,960
Speaker 2: give you all one tip, listeners, this is what I

953
00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:23,480
Speaker 2: also start doing. Okay, so you know for any of

954
00:54:23,560 --> 00:54:29,920
Speaker 2: your like your your bank account, asps, your your cash apps, whatever,

955
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:32,960
Speaker 2: I start putting on my notifications and this is this

956
00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:34,200
Speaker 2: is a tip, Like get this.

957
00:54:34,760 --> 00:54:35,680
Speaker 3: Let me tell you something.

958
00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:40,600
Speaker 2: Every time somebody hated on me or said something about me,

959
00:54:41,040 --> 00:54:44,560
Speaker 2: I would see if a notification would come through, because baby,

960
00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:49,680
Speaker 2: if you money, hear myth baby, you're not get my energy.

961
00:54:49,680 --> 00:54:55,759
Speaker 2: And the notifications never came through, the notfications. If they

962
00:54:55,840 --> 00:54:57,560
Speaker 2: not putting money in your bank account, they don't they

963
00:54:57,600 --> 00:54:59,200
Speaker 2: don't get to live re free in your head.

964
00:54:59,400 --> 00:55:02,240
Speaker 3: Like period yeah, period, period.

965
00:55:02,719 --> 00:55:05,680
Speaker 2: So beautiful, lady, We're going to have another conversation with

966
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:08,000
Speaker 2: feed and we're going to dive into deeper conversations because

967
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:09,280
Speaker 2: this is just getting started.

968
00:55:09,320 --> 00:55:11,800
Speaker 3: This was so good. Thank you for your time. But

969
00:55:11,920 --> 00:55:13,799
Speaker 3: is there anything you want to share before we close out?

970
00:55:14,360 --> 00:55:16,120
Speaker 2: And of course we'll have around you, but anything else

971
00:55:16,120 --> 00:55:18,160
Speaker 2: that you want to share on this topic or anything

972
00:55:18,160 --> 00:55:20,480
Speaker 2: that you just want to say before we close out,

973
00:55:22,120 --> 00:55:24,640
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. Just you know, I love to people.

974
00:55:24,760 --> 00:55:28,000
Speaker 2: I love to tell people like go after whatever you want,

975
00:55:28,120 --> 00:55:31,759
Speaker 2: but in the most genuine way, like you don't have

976
00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:34,440
Speaker 2: to be aggressive, you don't have to compromise yourself, you

977
00:55:34,480 --> 00:55:36,880
Speaker 2: don't have to throw other people under the bus, like

978
00:55:37,080 --> 00:55:41,000
Speaker 2: genuinely be you and go after like whatever you want.

979
00:55:41,040 --> 00:55:43,359
Speaker 2: And I'm telling you that that energy will come back

980
00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:46,920
Speaker 2: to you. But you know, taking accountability and doing the

981
00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:48,279
Speaker 2: work is going to get you there.

982
00:55:48,440 --> 00:55:48,880
Speaker 3: Period.

983
00:55:49,160 --> 00:55:53,560
Speaker 2: But nonetheless, like you ladies, are amazing. I mean, I

984
00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:55,960
Speaker 2: can't wait to have another conversation. I hope that I

985
00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:58,160
Speaker 2: can dive in with you on more. Whether it's on

986
00:55:58,239 --> 00:56:01,200
Speaker 2: the podcast or it's just like sit down hanging out

987
00:56:01,280 --> 00:56:04,600
Speaker 2: in like a casual environment, whatever it is, let's do it.

988
00:56:05,080 --> 00:56:08,680
Speaker 3: Thank you all so much. I'm grateful and blessed by opportunity.

989
00:56:09,520 --> 00:56:10,200
Speaker 3: Thank you, lady.

990
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:12,160
Speaker 2: We appreciate you so much, and we are definitely down

991
00:56:12,200 --> 00:56:15,799
Speaker 2: to have a conversation in person as well. See, let

992
00:56:15,800 --> 00:56:18,040
Speaker 2: people know where they can find you, any call to

993
00:56:18,120 --> 00:56:20,360
Speaker 2: actions that you have website, all that good stuff so

994
00:56:20,400 --> 00:56:24,959
Speaker 2: they can support. Yeah, of course, my main thing is

995
00:56:25,200 --> 00:56:29,800
Speaker 2: really Instagram, so at fit for the Good Life, for

996
00:56:30,040 --> 00:56:33,600
Speaker 2: being the number four, y'all can catch me there. From there,

997
00:56:33,760 --> 00:56:36,279
Speaker 2: I have links in my bio again, that's where you

998
00:56:36,280 --> 00:56:39,239
Speaker 2: can watch my story and you know you can come

999
00:56:39,320 --> 00:56:40,720
Speaker 2: check out our program of course.

1000
00:56:42,080 --> 00:56:44,800
Speaker 3: Yeah all right, lady, you heard it first here.

1001
00:56:45,239 --> 00:56:51,000
Speaker 4: Thanks for joining us today. Please note that our show

1002
00:56:51,080 --> 00:56:57,000
Speaker 4: may contain conversations about self help, advice, self empowerment, and

1003
00:56:57,120 --> 00:57:00,239
Speaker 4: mental health, but it is by no means to be

1004
00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:04,520
Speaker 4: a substitute for an ongoing formal relationship with a trained

1005
00:57:04,600 --> 00:57:08,640
Speaker 4: mental health provider. If you are someone you know is

1006
00:57:08,680 --> 00:57:12,000
Speaker 4: in need of mental health care. Please visit a Therapy

1007
00:57:12,040 --> 00:57:17,960
Speaker 4: for Black Girls directory Psychology today or contact your insurance provider.

1008
00:57:18,400 --> 00:57:20,280
Speaker 2: If you liked what you heard and want to keep

1009
00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:24,680
Speaker 2: the conversation going, visit our website at heirspacepodcast dot com

1010
00:57:24,960 --> 00:57:27,360
Speaker 2: and be sure to click the Patreon tab to get

1011
00:57:27,400 --> 00:57:31,720
Speaker 2: access to video content, bonuses, and our weekly after show

1012
00:57:32,640 --> 00:57:37,200
Speaker 2: and before we meet again, repeat after me. My thoughts

1013
00:57:37,280 --> 00:57:42,320
Speaker 2: create my reality. Today, I choose thoughts that empower and

1014
00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:43,080
Speaker 2: uplift me