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Speaker 1: Hey, Hurdler's Welcome back to Hurdle Moment from Hurdle, a

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Speaker 1: podcast that talks to everyone from entrepreneurs to top CEOs

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Speaker 1: and athletes about how they get through tough times hurdles

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Speaker 1: of sorts by leaning into wellness. Today, I'm hanging out

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Speaker 1: in the studio with the One, the Only, Kirsty God

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Speaker 1: So she's back for her second Hurdle Moment appearance. Hey Christy,

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Speaker 1: what's up?

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Speaker 2: How you doing?

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Speaker 3: I'm doing great today? How about you? I'm great.

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Speaker 1: Before we get into today's chat, where we are going

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Speaker 1: to be a dishing all about negative self talk, a.

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Speaker 2: Quick shout out to my sponsor, Wollaco.

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Speaker 1: If you're listening to this, you've got goals, you've got

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Speaker 1: an ambition, you have a vision for life, and you're

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Speaker 1: waking up every day putting one foot in front of

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Speaker 1: the other. That means you are my kind of person.

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Speaker 1: That's why I am teaming up with Wollaco to host

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Speaker 1: a woman's fun run and grub in the first week

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Speaker 1: of September.

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Speaker 2: You've got to stay tuned for some more details.

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Speaker 1: It'll be a casual five k, but hang tight and

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Speaker 1: if you're interested, head to the link in the description

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Speaker 1: of this episode to RSVP. Now, let's talk about negative

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Speaker 1: self talk. Christy and I got to talking about this

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Speaker 1: the other day, and I think it was a really special,

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Speaker 1: open and honest conversation that I knew I wanted to

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Speaker 1: bring to the audience.

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Speaker 3: It was an interesting one because I think it was

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Speaker 3: both of us being very vulnerable, and isn't that.

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Speaker 2: Always really fun?

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Speaker 3: I mean it feels like a relief, like it kind

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Speaker 3: of can be therapy sometimes just be like I'm not okay,

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Speaker 3: like I'm on Burgundy, like, you know, because that's a

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Speaker 3: difficult thing to confront. And then I think it's more

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Speaker 3: confronting to be like I'm not okay because of the

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Speaker 3: things I'm saying to myself totally. I'm victimizing myself, like totally.

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Speaker 1: And I think it's really just an important topic to

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Speaker 1: bring back up. I know I've talked about this before

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Speaker 1: in the way so negative self talk hurdle moment, But

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Speaker 1: after the conversation that I had with Kirsty, I just

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Speaker 1: knew that it was an important one to bring back around.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's not really something this inner dialogue that

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Speaker 1: you work on once and then you're like, I'm all

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Speaker 1: set with this. It's a continuing, evolving relationship that we

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Speaker 1: have with ourselves as always as you listen in, shoot

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Speaker 1: me a DM if you like what you hear in,

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Speaker 1: post on Instagram, share the pod at Hurdle Podcast, at

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Speaker 1: en lay Body and of course at Christy Godso with that,

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Speaker 1: let's get to hurdling. All right, So negative self talk,

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Speaker 1: it's a jerk, the worst. It's the worst, It's the

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Speaker 1: absolute worst. I did this really valuable exercise a few

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Speaker 1: months back where I wrote a letter to myself and

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Speaker 1: the letter wasn't that awesome. I was really critical, it

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Speaker 1: was really hard to read. But after that I found

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Speaker 1: that I was so motivated just to be better, to

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Speaker 1: work on my insecurities and to change the things that

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Speaker 1: I put down to paper that were frustrating me. So

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Speaker 1: now every few months I feel like I get this

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Speaker 1: anxious feeling back and I sit down and write a

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Speaker 1: new letter. And what I do is I read the

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Speaker 1: letter again, I let it sync in, and then hearing

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Speaker 1: all that stuff motivates me to make a change.

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Speaker 3: It's really interesting, Like sometimes I think I'm like, damn,

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Speaker 3: what if we wrote ourselves a letter every month about

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Speaker 3: the things that we thought were so major at the time,

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Speaker 3: and we'd probably laugh at ourself like four months later,

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Speaker 3: maybe six months later.

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Speaker 1: I mean, that's like my middle school diary. I was

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Speaker 1: like such a tomboy.

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Speaker 3: I actually never had a diary when I was growing up,

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Speaker 3: but like I kind of wish that I did. But

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Speaker 3: I think at this age now, it's like internal dialogue

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Speaker 3: is you can't ignore it, right, Anyone has to be

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Speaker 3: in tune with their like I call it internal conditioning,

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Speaker 3: because you know, the words that we say to ourselves

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Speaker 3: were drumming in over and over and over again, so

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Speaker 3: we got to get a handle on what their voice

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Speaker 3: is going to be. And often it's easier to complain,

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Speaker 3: like I'm just gonna say that it really that's the

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Speaker 3: easy lane. So I'm a competitive person, so the first

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Speaker 3: thing I do, like, oh, you're going to take the

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Speaker 3: easy way out. You're going to complain about this, and

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Speaker 3: I try and use it as a guilt trip to

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Speaker 3: like get out of it. And I think we actually

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Speaker 3: spoke on our first podcast that I ever did with

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Speaker 3: you about complaining and trying to get out of the

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Speaker 3: complain game. Yeah, and once you get out, like how

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Speaker 3: do you stay out? How do you really hold yourself

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Speaker 3: accountable to being like, no, that level of conversation is

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Speaker 3: absolutely not okay, not to myself, Like, and I know

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Speaker 3: you personally, and I know me personally. We would never

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Speaker 3: speak to other people the way that sometimes we speak

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Speaker 3: to ourselves, I know.

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Speaker 1: And I felt like the other day, I mean, it's

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Speaker 1: it's obvious that everyone has their own insecurities, but for me,

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Speaker 1: as someone who I'm hyper critical of myself, to hear

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Speaker 1: that you were frustrated with yourself and it's like you're

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Speaker 1: your own biggest critic, right, and so it's almost comforting

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Speaker 1: to hear someone else just be like, yeah, I'm really

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Speaker 1: affing frustrated with me too, you know.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and like, you know, to be really honest about it.

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Speaker 3: Like for me, the conversation we were having was about

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Speaker 3: our body and my job an as a trainer and

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Speaker 3: I like to say as an energy dealer and being

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Speaker 3: in the business of bodies is to make everyone else

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Speaker 3: feel more confident about not only their body, but about

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Speaker 3: their energy and about everything that they're doing. But sometimes

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Speaker 3: it feels overwhelming, and it feels at the cost of

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Speaker 3: my own confidence and at the cost of my own

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Speaker 3: attention to self. And so I got into kind of

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Speaker 3: this downward spiral, and I realized that I'd been ticking

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Speaker 3: over for about eight months, and I was like, I

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Speaker 3: am not confident or happy in my body. And I

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Speaker 3: think even like the look on your face when I

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Speaker 3: said it to you, you were like what, Like, what

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Speaker 3: do you mean? And the craziest thing is I just

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Speaker 3: came off like a gorgeous quick holiday in the South

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Speaker 3: of France for three days where I'm going to be honest, guys,

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Speaker 3: I drank more than I have in years. I did

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Speaker 3: a work out for three days. It's not like us

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Speaker 3: sleeping that much. I had fun. I was in the sun,

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Speaker 3: I was with friends, so I was eating great food.

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Speaker 3: My body looked better than over because I was just

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Speaker 3: happy and I was just being and I was like wow, Like, guys,

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Speaker 3: not saying go to the South of farms and just

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Speaker 3: drink and don't even work out. That's not my point

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Speaker 3: to take from this. My point is these restrictions and

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Speaker 3: these these harnesses were surrounding ourself, these stresses are what

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Speaker 3: trap us in and and I think more of the

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Speaker 3: time it's just that we we get so glazed over

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Speaker 3: in our eyes with this, with these frustrations that we

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Speaker 3: don't even see ourself anymore, because then you'll have friends

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Speaker 3: say something to you, and it almost feels like the

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Speaker 3: more that your friends say something, you're like, oh god,

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Speaker 3: you're beautiful, you're the you're that's your fit, and you're

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Speaker 3: like and almost a lie. It's a lie. Yeah, And

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Speaker 3: then it makes you feel worse because you feel like

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Speaker 3: you're living in silo with this version of you that

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Speaker 3: you're like, that's not me, Like what, No, I don't

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Speaker 3: understand how you would think that.

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Speaker 1: And then emotional triggers and then situational triggers as well,

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Speaker 1: can make you see yourself in a way that's just

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Speaker 1: so skewed right, Like absolutely, I know when I wear

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Speaker 1: my hair a certain way, I see the emily that

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Speaker 1: was overweight back in car, or when I am around

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Speaker 1: like a certain type of food, if you're around a

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Speaker 1: certain type of food, or if you're around I don't know, Like,

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Speaker 1: there's just so many things that just like bring you

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Speaker 1: back to a place that make you think of a

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Speaker 1: version of you that is not what's happening right now.

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Speaker 3: And it's hard to get out of that well, and

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Speaker 3: it's really hot, and so I think, and sometimes it's

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Speaker 3: difficult to express it to other people because they goin

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Speaker 3: to be like, what are you talking about? You being

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Speaker 3: a hypochondriac. You'll fine, It doesn't honestly, Like sourcing compliments

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Speaker 3: from external resources is not. You have to figure it

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Speaker 3: out for you. You have to get it right. And

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Speaker 3: I don't have a pro tip that's really going to

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Speaker 3: solve everything, but I have a few steps.

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Speaker 2: We have some steps.

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Speaker 1: So what Kirsty and I were talking about is just

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Speaker 1: this idea of making what we like to call an

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Speaker 1: internal code of conduct, which is how you will handle

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Speaker 1: yourself and speak to yourself. And on the days where

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Speaker 1: you're not speaking to yourself all that, well, the very

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Speaker 1: least you can do is go back to this code

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Speaker 1: of conduct and just move forward the best you can

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Speaker 1: and do what you can with what you have.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely, so I think the first place to start take

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Speaker 3: the emotion out of it. What are the facts? This

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Speaker 3: is something my mom taught me to do, like very

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Speaker 3: early on, and it was funny when I was like

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Speaker 3: a teenager, I was like, well, the facts are, Mom,

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Speaker 3: he cheated on me, and so that's where the emotion's

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Speaker 3: coming from. But now as the full adult, I use

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Speaker 3: that one a lot. I use it daily. I'm like, wow, okay,

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Speaker 3: I'm getting superheated about this. And this can be without

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Speaker 3: it even being internal like negative self talk. This could

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Speaker 3: be anything. Take the emotion out of it. Look at

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Speaker 3: the facts helps you be very rational, very fast. But

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Speaker 3: when it comes to internal self dialogue, it might be like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: I'm not feeling confident in my body and saying that

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Speaker 3: in a peaceful way rather than like speaking at yourself

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Speaker 3: with hate and just being like, okay, what are the facts.

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Speaker 3: I've had no routine, I've been flying a lot recently.

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Speaker 3: Work's being crazy, my sleep debt is crazy. I owe

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Speaker 3: a lot to the bed. These are key things that

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Speaker 3: would yep, that would make sense. You're definitely going to

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Speaker 3: be having raging them for quote as all you need

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Speaker 3: to sleep. You need to focus on getting some routine back.

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Speaker 3: What are you going to do about it? Like have

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Speaker 3: an action plan.

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Speaker 2: I also love the term sleep dead. Oh my god,

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Speaker 2: I mean I don't love the idea of sleep forever

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Speaker 2: and no, I can totally relate with that.

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Speaker 1: And then I think, I think the next thing to

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Speaker 1: bring up when it comes to this code of conduct

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Speaker 1: is the idea that you are what you allow and

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Speaker 1: there are a lot of things or individuals that come

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Speaker 1: into our life that we want to appease them. We

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Speaker 1: want to make everybody happy. But at what cost? Are

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Speaker 1: you willing to let someone treat you some kind of way?

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Speaker 1: If you're allowing that, if you're not getting what you deserve,

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Speaker 1: then you gotta you gotta move on.

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Speaker 2: Guys.

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Speaker 3: This is too funny because I'm like literally sitting him

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Speaker 3: in my hands up, being like, yes, yes, you going

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Speaker 3: you get what you allow is something that I try

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Speaker 3: and use all the time, even when I've made mistakes.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, okay, gee, you should have read the

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Speaker 3: fine print on that. Oh my gosh, but it's true,

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Speaker 3: like at what expins? So this is this is something

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Speaker 3: too that is really great for in business and in

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Speaker 3: friendships and in time management and understanding your time is

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Speaker 3: so precious and you actually don't have to explain yourself

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Speaker 3: sometimes when it's a no, you don't have to be like, no,

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Speaker 3: I can't be there because you're just like can't make it.

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Speaker 3: Stop apologizing, Stop apologizing for things that you do not

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Speaker 3: need to apologize for, like hey, I'm so sorry I

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Speaker 3: couldn't be there, blah blah blah blah, buth unnecessary chat,

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Speaker 3: like unnecessary energy drifting away from you. You have to

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Speaker 3: show up for you first and foremost before you can

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Speaker 3: show up to anyone else. And the people that love

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Speaker 3: you want the fullest version of you. They don't want

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Speaker 3: the red stout version that's tried to keep everyone else

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Speaker 3: happy except themselves.

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Speaker 1: And I think what's really important in this bigger picture

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Speaker 1: idea of trying to get rid of the negative self

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Speaker 1: talk is the idea when we talked about this last

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Speaker 1: week on Hurdle Moment, is surrounding yourself with those energy dealers,

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Speaker 1: the people that really fill you up, you know, the

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Speaker 1: faucets over the drains. It's so so important that if

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Speaker 1: you yourself feel like you're struggling with something that you

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Speaker 1: need to remember A you're never alone, and B there

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Speaker 1: are people that support you, that want to be there

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Speaker 1: for you and that are open to hearing your open

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Speaker 1: and honest conversation, your inner thoughts because they want you

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Speaker 1: to be the best version of.

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Speaker 3: You, and they're going to help you navigate through that.

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Speaker 3: So you can have you can have some really great

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Speaker 3: people in the car with you, or you can have

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Speaker 3: people that might make you crash. So just you know,

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Speaker 3: pick your passengers.

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Speaker 2: Pick your passengers, all right.

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Speaker 1: And our last little bit to talk about when it

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Speaker 1: comes to getting rid of this negative self talk is

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Speaker 1: if it costs you peace.

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Speaker 3: It's too expensive, don't throw you piece away, guys, because

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Speaker 3: this comes down to you non negotiables. This comes down

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Speaker 3: to things that really like just no buno, like you

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Speaker 3: just cannot at the end of the day, you are

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Speaker 3: really all you've got, Like we have the people around us,

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Speaker 3: we have our families. You know, there's many things to have,

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Speaker 3: but at the end of the day, it's you and

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Speaker 3: you're you're in the driver's seat of that. So you

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Speaker 3: have to dictate what you're going to allow. And a

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Speaker 3: lot of this comes from you know, this can diverge

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Speaker 3: off into a lot of different things. I've been focusing

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Speaker 3: a lot within this realm. One complain or gain right

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Speaker 3: for myself or with other people. And it's like, okay, cool,

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Speaker 3: I can choose to complain about that, or I could

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Speaker 3: gain from the situation. And when I if I complained

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Speaker 3: about it, that costs my piece. If I choose to

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Speaker 3: get a gain from it, that's me guarding my piece.

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Speaker 3: Because sometimes it's about not getting what you want and

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Speaker 3: getting the learning curve from that and understanding that that

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Speaker 3: was purpose for you because you're going to be even

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Speaker 3: better and that situation wasn't for you, or that relationship

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Speaker 3: wasn't for you, even that project, that apartment, like anything,

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Speaker 3: it's just it's not always meant for you. But be

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Speaker 3: on board with protecting your piece and being like, cool,

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Speaker 3: it's okay. And I don't mean that to some wishy washy,

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Speaker 3: but like, that's a big piece. Like you could throw

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Speaker 3: your piece away all day. I could get pessed after

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Speaker 3: riding the subway to Midtown to go to my shifts

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Speaker 3: at Nike. I could have absolutely blown a gasket for

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Speaker 3: the whole day. Yeah, but I'm like, no, this is

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Speaker 3: not I'm like, man, I live in New York City.

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Speaker 3: I get to renew my visa right now. That's why

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Speaker 3: I try and remind myself, Well, that's a frustrating task. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I'm like, I get to keep showing up to train

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Speaker 3: people that I love for a brand that I love

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Speaker 3: in a city that yeah, maybe drives me crazy fifty

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Speaker 3: percent of the time, but I love.

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Speaker 2: It, but I love it.

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Speaker 3: And so you can immediately turn around a conversation that

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Speaker 3: could have been something that makes you feel super frustrated

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Speaker 3: and just protect your peace and be like but then

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Speaker 3: there's other situations where it's like, Okay, I know by

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Speaker 3: going to that thing, just be like, I'm so spent,

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Speaker 3: I have nothing left to give. I just need to

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Speaker 3: have a night in watching Billions, drinking bone broth, whatever

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Speaker 3: it is, you know, Or I need some time out,

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Speaker 3: or I need to say no to this job, or

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Speaker 3: I just need to say that's enough to that relationship

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Speaker 3: where I need to say that's enough to myself.

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Speaker 1: Totally, And I think it's also just so important on

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Speaker 1: this idea of getting rid of the negative self talk

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Speaker 1: is identifying the things that do bring you peace. So

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Speaker 1: the other day, I was literally texting with a girlfriend

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Speaker 1: and I say, you know what I'm gonna do tomorrow,

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Speaker 1: in addition to the fact that I was like taking

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Speaker 1: a day off for the first time in forever. I said,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to do three things that I love. And

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Speaker 1: I literally have a list that I have made of

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Speaker 1: things that bring me joy in my apartment and some

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Speaker 1: days when I find that I have free time, I

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Speaker 1: literally go and read the list again because I'm like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: you like to do these things and they aren't all

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Speaker 1: about running, and you can do whatever you want from

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Speaker 1: this list and like smile and feel good about it.

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Speaker 1: And she told me when I saw her the following week,

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Speaker 1: she was like, what you said actually really had an

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Speaker 1: impact on me, Like you were taking the time to

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Speaker 1: just do three things for you.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, we should We shouldn't have to so.

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Speaker 1: Deliberately take so much time, Like we have the opportunity

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Speaker 1: to do something that makes us happy every single day.

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Speaker 3: Well, we shouldn't wait till we're right at the end,

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Speaker 3: like where we're running on the fumes to fill up

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Speaker 3: the cup like that. I had a day like that yesterday.

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Speaker 3: I was just my best friend FaceTime meet. Georgia was

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Speaker 3: like how's your day? And I was like, I've had

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Speaker 3: the best day and she's like, wow, tell me about it.

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Speaker 3: And I was like, I slipped in for me asleep

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Speaker 3: inyos a. I was like, I got a coffee, I

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Speaker 3: went to a hit class, I got another coffee, I

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Speaker 3: went to pilates, I city biked, I met a friend,

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Speaker 3: it's sunny. I came home and I was like, wow,

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Speaker 3: none of that involved me needing like an expensive handbag,

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Speaker 3: like floor to ceiling windows or like, you know, any

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Speaker 3: of these things that sometimes we let overwhelm us thinking

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Speaker 3: they're important. I was like, those were just super easy

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Speaker 3: things like I just wanted to work out, drink coffee,

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Speaker 3: see a friend. Like why do I leave that to

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Speaker 3: take so long that I'm allowed to have that time?

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Speaker 3: So I guess for everyone, I would say, figure out

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Speaker 3: what your non negotiables are. For yourself, figure out that

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Speaker 3: internal GPS, and define this code of conduct, and don't

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Speaker 3: wait for it to be a New Year's resolution, because

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Speaker 3: all your time right now is expensive, and all of

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Speaker 3: your time is precious, and you owe every single day

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Speaker 3: to yourself and the people that are in your life.

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Speaker 1: I'm so much better for having the opportunity to have

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Speaker 1: these conversations, Chris, do you.

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Speaker 2: Thanks so much for hanging out with me today.

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Speaker 3: Thank you for having me back.

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Speaker 1: Guys, anything you know how to reach me Emily at

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Speaker 1: Hurdle dot Us, at Emily a Body, at Hurdle Podcast,

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Speaker 1: and at Kirsty Godso another hurdle conquered.

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Speaker 2: Catch you guys next time.

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Speaker 3: Damn