1 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:09,240 Speaker 1: Hey, heyba fam WHOA. I don't know about y'all, but 2 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:13,440 Speaker 1: I just really need like a quick whoo what can 3 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:18,360 Speaker 1: I even say? All Right, it's Friday, February twenty first, 4 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:23,000 Speaker 1: and I am freezing my you know what off here 5 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:26,360 Speaker 1: in New York. But as always, I love sitting down 6 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:31,000 Speaker 1: and digging into y'all's questions. They feel like little letters 7 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,440 Speaker 1: from pen pals all over the country and I just 8 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:37,480 Speaker 1: adore them. So thank y'all again for submitting your questions. 9 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:40,599 Speaker 1: You can submit your question on IG hit us up 10 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:43,879 Speaker 1: at Brown Amission Podcast, or you can send me an 11 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:47,200 Speaker 1: email highly recommended. If you are a more long winded 12 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 1: writer like I am and you really had trouble like 13 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:54,160 Speaker 1: getting everything out on that little tiny screen on IG, 14 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:59,160 Speaker 1: email me Brown Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com. So 15 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,200 Speaker 1: before you get into today's questions, y'all know, we got 16 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:05,840 Speaker 1: to take our salt shakers out. I'm not your attorney. 17 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:08,520 Speaker 1: I'm not your financial planner. I'm not your marriage counselor. 18 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:12,280 Speaker 1: I'm not your regular counselor. I'm not a therapist. Basically, 19 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:17,160 Speaker 1: I'm just your homegirl on the internet, who y'all trust 20 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:23,560 Speaker 1: with some of your most vulnerable secrets and fears and desires, 21 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:26,440 Speaker 1: and I don't take that for granted at all, So 22 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:29,640 Speaker 1: I am here to give you my best answer. But 23 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:32,240 Speaker 1: at the end of the day, we call it infotainment 24 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:35,759 Speaker 1: for a reason, all Right, you really want to take 25 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:37,880 Speaker 1: what I'm saying with a grain of salt and always 26 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:42,280 Speaker 1: stay true to yourself and whatever your personal advisors tell you, 27 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:45,760 Speaker 1: who know more about your day to day situation and 28 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:49,840 Speaker 1: the intricate details of everything y'all got going on. Quick 29 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:53,200 Speaker 1: shout out to the Read podcast. I think I'm a 30 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:57,240 Speaker 1: geriatric podcaster, but Kid Fury and Christal are the ogs. 31 00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:02,360 Speaker 1: They just celebrated their twelfth Verse three and I've always 32 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:04,640 Speaker 1: wanted to go see them live when they do their 33 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:10,000 Speaker 1: live shows, and Tiffany and I made it happen. We 34 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:12,200 Speaker 1: went to the live show, and before that we had 35 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:16,800 Speaker 1: the most incredible sushi dinner and girl talk and even 36 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:19,440 Speaker 1: though it was disgusting and rainy and cold, it was 37 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:23,760 Speaker 1: such a fun time. And yeah, ten out of ten, 38 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:27,720 Speaker 1: I loved Kidfiria and Crystal. I only understand like seventy 39 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:30,360 Speaker 1: five percent of the topics they discussed, but I'm there 40 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:34,480 Speaker 1: for their rapport, for their chemistry, for their authenticity. And 41 00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:39,760 Speaker 1: my girl Crystal was on fire. Y'all. She is hilarious. 42 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:42,440 Speaker 1: I know Kidfiri is the comedian, but she is just 43 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:46,800 Speaker 1: a treat, a joy, a gift, as is he and 44 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:49,000 Speaker 1: I love And this is just a sign for you 45 00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:52,520 Speaker 1: to make that plan with a girlfriend and don't cancel 46 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:56,200 Speaker 1: even if the weather is bad. It was leading it 47 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:59,880 Speaker 1: was like twenty something degrees. We each had to slept, 48 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:04,520 Speaker 1: Tiffany from Newark, me from Westchester to the Upper west Side. 49 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:08,760 Speaker 1: Y'all make it happen. It wasn't comfortable, it wasn't convenient, 50 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:11,200 Speaker 1: but it was one of those things that you just 51 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:14,320 Speaker 1: know once you're there sitting across from that person that 52 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,360 Speaker 1: you're going to be so glad you carved out the time. 53 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:19,240 Speaker 1: And tiff and I have said how important it is 54 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:23,080 Speaker 1: to us to like nurture relationships and show up for 55 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:25,680 Speaker 1: each other, and you know what, show up on time. 56 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:28,440 Speaker 1: Like we were both there on time. Okay, to be fair, 57 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:31,360 Speaker 1: Tiffany did go to the wrong restaurant on the Upper 58 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,120 Speaker 1: east Side and I was all the way across town 59 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:34,880 Speaker 1: the Upper west Side. But she still gets points for 60 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:38,320 Speaker 1: showing up there on time, even though it's the wrong 61 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:43,360 Speaker 1: side of town, oh man. But just your sign to 62 00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:46,800 Speaker 1: make those plans with your friends. And I know, I 63 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:49,160 Speaker 1: know how it is the day of when it's like 64 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:53,320 Speaker 1: bad weather or you're tired, or you had a really 65 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:57,200 Speaker 1: shit day and you're looking at your calendar and you're like, 66 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:00,720 Speaker 1: this is my homegirl, this is my really good friend. 67 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:02,680 Speaker 1: I've known her for years and years and years. It's 68 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:06,760 Speaker 1: not like this one dinner, this one girl date is 69 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:09,160 Speaker 1: gonna make or break our friendship. It's not like if 70 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,840 Speaker 1: I cancel, you still won't love me. And in fact, 71 00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:15,680 Speaker 1: she'll totally understand. Do it anyway, Just go through with it, 72 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:20,080 Speaker 1: whether you're traveling five minutes or five hours, just show 73 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:23,240 Speaker 1: up for your people. Make that plan, especially in the 74 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:26,320 Speaker 1: dark days of winter when we are all cold, even 75 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,239 Speaker 1: though we want to stay in our houses and curl 76 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:30,000 Speaker 1: up and no one talk to us, and let's go 77 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:33,280 Speaker 1: into hibernation. And that is totally valid. And fine, poke 78 00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:36,440 Speaker 1: your little head out, poke your head out this week 79 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:40,320 Speaker 1: or next week, make a little plan, little coffee, a 80 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:45,800 Speaker 1: little cozy something, and reconnect with a friend that you 81 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:48,920 Speaker 1: haven't seen this winter. You know how many questions I'm 82 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:51,440 Speaker 1: gonna do today? Be a fam the job market is 83 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:55,000 Speaker 1: on everyone's minds lately. We already knew the job market 84 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:59,359 Speaker 1: was kind of crazy, but in these unprecedented times with 85 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,960 Speaker 1: fold more in office, I can't tell you Ever since 86 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,200 Speaker 1: the episode I posted where I shared about my husband 87 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:08,839 Speaker 1: having his job offer rescented from a federal agency despite 88 00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:12,880 Speaker 1: his nearly two decade career in civil service, of tens 89 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:16,640 Speaker 1: of thousands of federal employees, I think it's an estimated 90 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,520 Speaker 1: seventy five thousand at this point have been let go 91 00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:22,919 Speaker 1: from their jobs, and that's not counting the number of 92 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:25,880 Speaker 1: people whose offers have been rescinded. Thoughts and prayers to 93 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:29,520 Speaker 1: everybody who's been impacted. And I didn't I don't like 94 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:32,160 Speaker 1: being right. I mean, that's the damn lie. I really 95 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:35,760 Speaker 1: do enjoy being right, But i'd untold y'ell. No job 96 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:39,839 Speaker 1: is secure, not even government jobs, and that could not 97 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:44,120 Speaker 1: be more true than now. So honestly, if you're in 98 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:47,960 Speaker 1: a federal job right now and you're worried, you should be. 99 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:50,320 Speaker 1: Like I'm not even going to try to sugarcoat it, 100 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:53,320 Speaker 1: you absolutely should be. But doesn't seem like anyone is 101 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:56,040 Speaker 1: safe if you happen to work for the wrong agency, 102 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,720 Speaker 1: if you happen to be in the crosshairs of this 103 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:06,560 Speaker 1: covert team of efficiency czars led by our I don't 104 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:10,440 Speaker 1: know our proxy president, Elon Musk. I can't say his name, 105 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:14,120 Speaker 1: but I just I just want to I'm sorry, But yeah, 106 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:18,840 Speaker 1: as this DOGE organization comes through and makes their cuts 107 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,800 Speaker 1: to all these different agencies, I really do think that 108 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:24,720 Speaker 1: y'all should be worried. But at the same time, nothing 109 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:27,960 Speaker 1: for me has changed. I've always said that no job 110 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:30,640 Speaker 1: is stable, and I've always said that not in a 111 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:34,599 Speaker 1: not meaning to terrify or to make y'all scared, but 112 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:36,880 Speaker 1: just to give you the right perspective on how to 113 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:41,320 Speaker 1: plan your career. That you shouldn't rely on an outside 114 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:45,279 Speaker 1: organization for job stability. That you should be we should 115 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:49,600 Speaker 1: be creating our own financial and career stability to our 116 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:52,039 Speaker 1: best ability. I would be saving as much as you 117 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:55,080 Speaker 1: possibly can right now, paying down your debt right now. 118 00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:58,120 Speaker 1: I would be leaning on each other for support. And 119 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:01,800 Speaker 1: when I say each other, I mean friends, colleagues, peers. 120 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:06,520 Speaker 1: Don't let your fear or your anxiety be something that 121 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,880 Speaker 1: you carry alone. We're all going through it, and it's 122 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:12,200 Speaker 1: not just federal government, right, I mean meta Jesus. Metta 123 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,960 Speaker 1: just laid off four thousand people and said it was 124 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:19,680 Speaker 1: performance review based. And I'm actually really proud of the 125 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:24,239 Speaker 1: workers who have been speaking out and sending receipts, sharing 126 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:27,640 Speaker 1: the receipts of their performance reviews that have said that 127 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,600 Speaker 1: they've met or exceeded expectations and been like, this is bs, 128 00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:33,360 Speaker 1: this is a cop out. The fact that they released 129 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,680 Speaker 1: a statement saying that this was performance based, like that 130 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,840 Speaker 1: is the biggest fear when you're let go, is that 131 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:41,560 Speaker 1: a recruiter or a hiring manager is going to see 132 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,280 Speaker 1: that you were let go or hear that you've been 133 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:46,640 Speaker 1: let go and assume it's because you're not a great performer. 134 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:49,800 Speaker 1: Metta literally just did that made it so much worse. 135 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:51,920 Speaker 1: Maybe you could talk yourself out of it in the past, 136 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:53,800 Speaker 1: but now Meda's like, oh no, yeah, for sure. This 137 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:56,000 Speaker 1: four thousand people. If you see their names pop up, 138 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:59,520 Speaker 1: m m they were our lowest performers. And I think 139 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,960 Speaker 1: these people are right to defend themselves, And I think 140 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:04,680 Speaker 1: it's a good sign for you. If y'all have praise 141 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:09,040 Speaker 1: from management, if you have recommendation letters, save it to 142 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:12,240 Speaker 1: your computer. Take a screenshot of those praise emails that 143 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:14,600 Speaker 1: you get from people on your team, Take a screenshot 144 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:18,040 Speaker 1: and download your performance review record so that you have 145 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:21,400 Speaker 1: them and you own them individually. Get those receipts back yourself. 146 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 1: So job market continues to be wild. Okay, let's get 147 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:30,119 Speaker 1: into the question this week now. With everything I've said, 148 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:32,720 Speaker 1: not surprisingly, we've heard from a couple of BA listeners 149 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:35,040 Speaker 1: who have been impacted by what's happening in the government 150 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:38,040 Speaker 1: right now, and so I'm going to prioritize their questions 151 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:40,959 Speaker 1: because yep, I know you're going through it, y'all. Okay, 152 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:44,600 Speaker 1: this question comes from Brie, who says, hey, May Unfortunately, 153 00:08:44,679 --> 00:08:47,160 Speaker 1: I was laid off from my job at a nonprofit 154 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:50,200 Speaker 1: three weeks ago. Luckily the writing was on the wall, 155 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:53,800 Speaker 1: so I micropivoted, as you say, during my last year 156 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:56,720 Speaker 1: there and got certified as a pilates instructor, so I 157 00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:59,560 Speaker 1: have some part time work to fall back on things. 158 00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:02,040 Speaker 1: I've gotten pretty tricky in my industry in the last 159 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:05,360 Speaker 1: week though, due to the federal administration changes. I work 160 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:08,439 Speaker 1: in public health research and was recently offered a research 161 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:11,880 Speaker 1: position with the VA that was rescinded due to these changes. 162 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:15,520 Speaker 1: My question is should I prepare to pivot fully outside 163 00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:18,280 Speaker 1: of this industry, and how can I find positions that 164 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:21,760 Speaker 1: match my skills outside of the governmental space, especially because 165 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,840 Speaker 1: I'm hesitant to go back into the nonprofit world with 166 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:27,880 Speaker 1: my recent experience. Thank you for all your help and 167 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:30,440 Speaker 1: holding it down with the podcast. We really appreciate you, 168 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:36,360 Speaker 1: Bri bri uugh, I'm so sorry. Like those are two things. First, 169 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:40,840 Speaker 1: public health, Oh my god, with RFK in the position 170 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:45,080 Speaker 1: of Health Secretary like I I and I don't even 171 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:47,319 Speaker 1: think that he was confirmed when you sent this question 172 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:50,400 Speaker 1: in because it was earlier in the year. But he's 173 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:52,880 Speaker 1: confirmed now. And if you weren't shaken into your boosts, 174 00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:55,240 Speaker 1: you definitely are now. And on top of that, that's 175 00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:58,000 Speaker 1: your area of focus is public health. It's yet to 176 00:09:58,040 --> 00:09:59,959 Speaker 1: be seen what's going to happen to like the now 177 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:05,120 Speaker 1: Institutes of Health, the Center for Disease Control, like these 178 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:08,640 Speaker 1: federal institutions that are here to give us the tools 179 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:11,440 Speaker 1: and resources to understand what's happening in the public health sector. 180 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:14,200 Speaker 1: There's a measle outbreaks right now. We got bird flu 181 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:17,080 Speaker 1: going on like it's you know, and cute out here 182 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:22,040 Speaker 1: in public health. And yeah, I just want to acknowledge 183 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:25,439 Speaker 1: that I do think fully pivoting outside of this industry 184 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:29,000 Speaker 1: as far as the nonprofit. So you were let go 185 00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:31,520 Speaker 1: three weeks ago, I hope you were on unemployment benefits 186 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:34,960 Speaker 1: so that you have some additional financial income. How long 187 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:37,240 Speaker 1: those benefits last are going to vary by your states. 188 00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:39,480 Speaker 1: You can look that up at your state's Department of Labor. 189 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,080 Speaker 1: At this point, I don't know if you should pivot 190 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:47,440 Speaker 1: completely out of the public health industry. And also I 191 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,560 Speaker 1: know that you talk about you're not really wanting to 192 00:10:49,559 --> 00:10:52,080 Speaker 1: go back to the nonprofit because of your experience there, 193 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:55,360 Speaker 1: and now federal government has thrown you out on your behind. 194 00:10:55,559 --> 00:10:58,720 Speaker 1: And I just want to reiterate that whether it's public sector, 195 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:04,000 Speaker 1: private sector, nonprofit, for profit, this is a capitalistic economy 196 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:08,400 Speaker 1: and every organization in their own way is a capitalist organization. 197 00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:14,280 Speaker 1: And that just means that labor, people humans are dispensable, disposable, replaceable, 198 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:17,600 Speaker 1: and definitely expendable. So if you sort of change your 199 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:22,880 Speaker 1: mindset to, like as my therapist says, radically accept the reality, 200 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:24,719 Speaker 1: which is that, all right, no matter where I go, 201 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:27,640 Speaker 1: at the end of the day, I am an employee 202 00:11:27,679 --> 00:11:29,760 Speaker 1: here it's at will employment and they can cut my 203 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:33,240 Speaker 1: behind anytime that they want to, doesn't matter. And even 204 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:35,120 Speaker 1: if there's federal laws to protect you, it looks like 205 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:38,600 Speaker 1: that doesn't matter anymore either. So yeah, I just want 206 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:42,480 Speaker 1: to readjust your yeah, your perspective around that, and then 207 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:46,840 Speaker 1: I'll say what skills are transferable to other industries. I 208 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,840 Speaker 1: don't think you should limit yourself. I think you should 209 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:50,960 Speaker 1: cast a wide net. We need people who are in 210 00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:54,320 Speaker 1: public health research more than ever. Maybe there's work you 211 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:57,200 Speaker 1: can do at the university level. There are health companies 212 00:11:57,200 --> 00:12:00,040 Speaker 1: that are looking for people with data analysis skills. So 213 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:03,319 Speaker 1: you work in public health research, so I'm guessing that 214 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:05,600 Speaker 1: you were not scared of a pivot table. You understand 215 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,840 Speaker 1: how to look at vast swaths of data and break 216 00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:09,800 Speaker 1: them down and analyze them and tell a story with 217 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:13,560 Speaker 1: that data. And that's a really marketable skill and you 218 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:17,320 Speaker 1: could be you could be useful to a lot of organizations. 219 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:19,800 Speaker 1: So I don't want to discourage you. I want you 220 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:22,720 Speaker 1: to keep pushing free and then keep building your financial 221 00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:28,160 Speaker 1: and professional resiliency. You've got that Pilates instructor certification, you know, 222 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:31,160 Speaker 1: are you thinking about setting up an LLC? I would 223 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:34,600 Speaker 1: consider that because then you could you know take advantage 224 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:38,280 Speaker 1: of small business tax credits? And the unfortunate slash fortunate 225 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:40,760 Speaker 1: thing about our current administration is that they love given 226 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:45,199 Speaker 1: tax breaks to businesses. So maybe the tax code will 227 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:47,760 Speaker 1: become even more generous for business owners. But for now, 228 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:50,400 Speaker 1: you know, you could create an LLC and it doesn't 229 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:52,040 Speaker 1: mean the money doesn't come out of your pocket, but 230 00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:54,480 Speaker 1: it does mean that you could potentially reduce your taxable 231 00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:59,319 Speaker 1: income come tax time by having an LLC and categorizing 232 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:03,320 Speaker 1: these different exps as part of that business. Right. Of course, 233 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:08,400 Speaker 1: you want to consult a text advisor CPA, whoever that 234 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:10,960 Speaker 1: may be before you set up an LLC and make 235 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,400 Speaker 1: sure you're doing it properly, But at the end of 236 00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:16,440 Speaker 1: the day, it's not a bad move to make, especially 237 00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:20,000 Speaker 1: if you want to have this fallback plan of your 238 00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:23,600 Speaker 1: plate's instruction as a career path as a potential source 239 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:27,280 Speaker 1: of income moving forward. All right, girl, thank you so 240 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:30,800 Speaker 1: much for your question. Stay strong, hang in there, and 241 00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:34,600 Speaker 1: I really appreciate you taking the time to send your question. 242 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:42,199 Speaker 1: In all right, fam, I'm back with another question from 243 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,840 Speaker 1: listener E, who has sent an email and oh my 244 00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:48,280 Speaker 1: heart's just breaking for you. E. And I'm I'm just 245 00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:51,000 Speaker 1: really glad that you that you sent this question. Is 246 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,840 Speaker 1: I bet you felt a little bit relieved even just 247 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:57,800 Speaker 1: getting this off your chest. But let's get into your question, 248 00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:01,520 Speaker 1: all right, Free says or so all right, e says, 249 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:05,200 Speaker 1: Hey May. I'm turning twenty nine on February fifth, and 250 00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:07,840 Speaker 1: all I keep thinking about is the poor decisions I 251 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:11,120 Speaker 1: made in my early twenties around my finances. I've never 252 00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:13,199 Speaker 1: been a savvy budget girl, and I maxed out a 253 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,679 Speaker 1: couple of credit cards in the past and never paid 254 00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:19,720 Speaker 1: the bills, so the accounts were closed and sent to collections. 255 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,240 Speaker 1: I've been paying on the cards and collections going on 256 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,400 Speaker 1: three years now, on top of paying two card notes 257 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:28,640 Speaker 1: due to totaling my first car while I didn't have insurance. 258 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:30,960 Speaker 1: I'm at a point in my life where I've learned 259 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:35,160 Speaker 1: from my mistakes and horrible, horrible bill paying habits. A 260 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:38,080 Speaker 1: lot of what I did back then is largely significant today, 261 00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:40,120 Speaker 1: and it shows up all up and down my credit 262 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:43,320 Speaker 1: score and credit report. I have a one year old baby, 263 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:45,040 Speaker 1: and I'm at a point in my life where I'd 264 00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:47,800 Speaker 1: like to start thinking about being a homeowner. I'd love 265 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:50,240 Speaker 1: to travel more. I'd love to pour into my son 266 00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:53,520 Speaker 1: more and live a financially free life where debt isn't 267 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,400 Speaker 1: eating up all my money. But I just can't because 268 00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:59,640 Speaker 1: the decisions I made are still haunting me. I work 269 00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:02,280 Speaker 1: full time as a social worker at the VA, and 270 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:05,560 Speaker 1: I have side gigs that help support me. I need insight. 271 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,480 Speaker 1: What do you have to say to people like me 272 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,960 Speaker 1: whose younger self dug themselves into a black hole that 273 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:15,200 Speaker 1: feels impossible to escape. What budgeting and finance habits should 274 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:17,800 Speaker 1: I be focusing on right now? Should I spend extra 275 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:20,800 Speaker 1: money to hire a financial advisor or no? I am 276 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:26,400 Speaker 1: hashtag over it. Thank you so much, Oh e girl. 277 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:31,240 Speaker 1: Nothing like getting to the eve of your thirties to 278 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:33,320 Speaker 1: really make you look back on your life and be 279 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:36,760 Speaker 1: really critical of himself. I mean, I think this is 280 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:39,560 Speaker 1: so relatable. I think no matter where you're at in 281 00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:41,680 Speaker 1: your life, any twenty nine year old would tell you 282 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:43,960 Speaker 1: that there's things that they wish they had done differently, 283 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:47,880 Speaker 1: and sort of looking ahead of the next decade. And 284 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:51,840 Speaker 1: I don't know, comparing themselves, comparing yourself to the version 285 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:54,240 Speaker 1: that you thought you would be. You know, of yourself 286 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:57,080 Speaker 1: in your thirties, and the real thing about you know, 287 00:15:57,200 --> 00:16:00,040 Speaker 1: coming into your thirties too, is that yep? It it 288 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:02,520 Speaker 1: does seem like your friends are all getting married and 289 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:06,880 Speaker 1: buying houses and you know, excelling in their careers and 290 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:08,960 Speaker 1: moving up and everyone's got it all figured out. But 291 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,080 Speaker 1: I just want you to know e you are so 292 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:14,400 Speaker 1: not alone. I just want you to give yourself grace. 293 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:16,920 Speaker 1: Like you're turning twenty nine in twenty twenty five, that 294 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:20,880 Speaker 1: means during the pandemic, you were in your early twenties. Girl, 295 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,800 Speaker 1: Like I'm gonna say, twenty five twenty four still your 296 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:28,040 Speaker 1: early twenties, and that was a crazy, crazy time in 297 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:31,240 Speaker 1: this country. I hope that you are taking time to 298 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:35,240 Speaker 1: just enjoy being a mama. And honestly, I bet there's 299 00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:38,320 Speaker 1: people who were thirty nine turning forty and they wish 300 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,080 Speaker 1: they had gone and had a baby when they were 301 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:42,640 Speaker 1: twenty nine and got it out of the way. I know, 302 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,920 Speaker 1: as crazy as that sounds, get it out of the way. 303 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:48,840 Speaker 1: But seriously, this is hard when you're in your late 304 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:52,680 Speaker 1: thirties early forties trying to start a family. Then. I mean, yes, 305 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:54,560 Speaker 1: it can be a little bit easier if you are 306 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:58,040 Speaker 1: more financially stable and all of that, but you're tired, honey. 307 00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:01,440 Speaker 1: The body is breaking down. I'm not even forty yet. 308 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:05,040 Speaker 1: And the way that I was ugh, I was inane 309 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,000 Speaker 1: after I took my son to a trampoline park a 310 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:11,760 Speaker 1: few days ago. As my hip still is not hipping 311 00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:15,360 Speaker 1: the way that it should. I'm still limping when I 312 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:16,920 Speaker 1: have to get up from a chair. When I get 313 00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:18,840 Speaker 1: up from this chair I'm recording in right now, I 314 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,880 Speaker 1: know I'm gonna have to do a quick little hip 315 00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:24,000 Speaker 1: stretch because my hip joint was just not having it. 316 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:26,960 Speaker 1: And also, this is a good time to warn y'all 317 00:17:27,119 --> 00:17:30,720 Speaker 1: do not do not jump into the phone pit. If 318 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:34,480 Speaker 1: you are over the age of seven years old. You will. 319 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:39,760 Speaker 1: You will fear for your life. You will beg for help, 320 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,399 Speaker 1: and people may not hear you because it's too loud 321 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,720 Speaker 1: in those trampoline parks and there is nothing to grab 322 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,879 Speaker 1: hold of. There is nothing to give you purchase or 323 00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:51,080 Speaker 1: a point of leverage to get your big adult behind 324 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:54,239 Speaker 1: out of that thing. And you will regret it one 325 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:57,480 Speaker 1: hundred percent. I digress. You have to forgive the girl 326 00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:59,600 Speaker 1: in your twenties. You know, maybe she did the best 327 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:01,919 Speaker 1: she could with the information that she had. Maybe she 328 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:05,120 Speaker 1: made some mistakes, and yes, you are paying for those 329 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:09,119 Speaker 1: mistakes now. But you can either accept it and say 330 00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,359 Speaker 1: this is my situation and this is going to be 331 00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:14,040 Speaker 1: temporary and I will get out of this, or you 332 00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:16,120 Speaker 1: can keep beating yourself up about it. And I really 333 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:19,080 Speaker 1: hope that you choose the first option because you deserve it. 334 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:22,199 Speaker 1: Your little boy deserves a happy mama, and I just 335 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:26,159 Speaker 1: want you to forgive yourself. Okay, Now, I know what 336 00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:28,720 Speaker 1: it's like when you have a young kid and baby, 337 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:33,320 Speaker 1: even though I am older in a different situation. Right now, 338 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:37,480 Speaker 1: I too get caught up in how many things you 339 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:41,520 Speaker 1: can purchase for your child, how many activities? And should 340 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:43,720 Speaker 1: I get my son a reading tutor? Is he getting 341 00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:47,160 Speaker 1: enough at kindergarten? And it's winter break right now. I'm 342 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:49,680 Speaker 1: holding it down here while I have the book deadline 343 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,879 Speaker 1: and other things to focus on, and I'm going to 344 00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:54,840 Speaker 1: trampoline parks, I'm going to the aquarium. I'm spending like 345 00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:57,320 Speaker 1: one hundred dollars a day to keep this child entertained. 346 00:18:57,359 --> 00:19:00,240 Speaker 1: It's not cheap, and just know that the only thing 347 00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:02,240 Speaker 1: that baby needs, and he is only one years old. 348 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:03,720 Speaker 1: I don't know why I'm assuming it's a boy, but 349 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:07,200 Speaker 1: that baby is only one. All they want is their mama. 350 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,760 Speaker 1: They want you to be a soft bean bag chair, 351 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:15,080 Speaker 1: snuggle them and let them watch Miss Rachel and build 352 00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:19,600 Speaker 1: blocks and give lots of kisses and watch them walk 353 00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:22,359 Speaker 1: around like little drunk, tiny humans and try not to 354 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:25,560 Speaker 1: fall down and kiss their booboos if they do fall down. 355 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:28,159 Speaker 1: And that's really all you need to do, Mama, and 356 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:32,240 Speaker 1: a happier mama, a happiest mama. The happiest version of 357 00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:34,400 Speaker 1: yourself that you can be for your baby is honestly 358 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:36,560 Speaker 1: the best thing you can do. And you're going to 359 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,000 Speaker 1: get to that happiest version of yourself when you stop 360 00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:43,240 Speaker 1: beating yourself up for the mistakes you made in your twenties. Okay, 361 00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:45,439 Speaker 1: we've all maxed out a couple of credit cards. A 362 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:47,720 Speaker 1: lot of people have forgotten to pay a bill, or 363 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:50,560 Speaker 1: been unable to pay a bill, had accounts closed or 364 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,919 Speaker 1: sent off to collections. Now you've been paying cards that 365 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,640 Speaker 1: have been in collections for going on three years. Now. 366 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,480 Speaker 1: I just wonder if it's with a third party debt 367 00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:03,199 Speaker 1: collector who has purchased the debt from the original creditor. 368 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,920 Speaker 1: So let's say you had a Victoria's Secret credit card, 369 00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:08,960 Speaker 1: and you, like a lot of twenty two year olds, 370 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,919 Speaker 1: you took that out, you know, and when you were 371 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,520 Speaker 1: in college. Because I don't know why. Victoria's secret just 372 00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:15,920 Speaker 1: has us all in a choke hold in our early twenties. 373 00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:19,600 Speaker 1: And let's say you run that up and you're not 374 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:21,800 Speaker 1: able to make the payments, and so they charge it off. 375 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:25,080 Speaker 1: So they sell the debt to a debt collector, and 376 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,520 Speaker 1: the debt collector, let's say you have one thousand dollars 377 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,600 Speaker 1: on that credit card. The debt collector may purchase that 378 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:34,240 Speaker 1: debt for like pennies on the dollar, for one hundred dollars. 379 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:37,639 Speaker 1: Let's say, so, now they've paid one hundred dollars for 380 00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:41,280 Speaker 1: a one thousand dollars debt. Note that they can then 381 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:43,439 Speaker 1: pursue you for so as long as they get their 382 00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:46,879 Speaker 1: one hundred dollars back, they are going to be in business. 383 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:49,080 Speaker 1: They are going to be happy. They don't want us 384 00:20:49,119 --> 00:20:50,840 Speaker 1: to know that. So this is where you have some 385 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:54,800 Speaker 1: negotiation leverage. If you're able to call your debt collector, 386 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:57,320 Speaker 1: call the people who own the debts now and see 387 00:20:57,320 --> 00:21:00,359 Speaker 1: if there's any way that you can negotiate to settle 388 00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:02,400 Speaker 1: the debt for less, and when it comes to your 389 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:06,800 Speaker 1: oldest debts, I would order your debts from newest to oldest, 390 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:10,159 Speaker 1: and the oldest debts I would least prioritize when they 391 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:13,199 Speaker 1: calculate credit scores. When the credit bureaus do that, the 392 00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:15,720 Speaker 1: more recent information is going to be weighed more heavily 393 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:18,520 Speaker 1: towards your credit score, even if some of that older 394 00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:23,160 Speaker 1: information is really bad like charged off credit and account 395 00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:26,040 Speaker 1: in collections and all of that. So I think it's 396 00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:28,919 Speaker 1: always best to prioritize your newest debts first, even if 397 00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:31,400 Speaker 1: that means you have to pay less on those older accounts. 398 00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,919 Speaker 1: You can also reach out to a debt relief organization. 399 00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:37,120 Speaker 1: You can listen to a recent episode of our show 400 00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:40,680 Speaker 1: where we had a representative from National Debt Relief, which 401 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:44,520 Speaker 1: is a debt relief agency who joined us and really 402 00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:47,520 Speaker 1: helped talk about how debt relief works, and you can 403 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:50,119 Speaker 1: check out their website and oppost a link for you 404 00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:51,600 Speaker 1: in the show notes, And you can check out their 405 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:53,280 Speaker 1: website and see as this is the right fit for 406 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:55,760 Speaker 1: me based on my debt picture. At the very least, 407 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:57,600 Speaker 1: you can get on the phone with a debt counselor. 408 00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:00,000 Speaker 1: I don't think at your point here, you want to 409 00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:02,240 Speaker 1: spend a lot of money on a financial advisor because 410 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:05,080 Speaker 1: I think that, honestly, it's just a budgeting and debt 411 00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:07,840 Speaker 1: payoff challenge for you right now. And you can get 412 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:11,560 Speaker 1: that kind of help through a counseling service like National 413 00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:14,200 Speaker 1: Debt Relief. You can also go to the National Foundation 414 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:17,320 Speaker 1: for Credit Counselors oppost a link to that as well, 415 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,960 Speaker 1: and they can also help give you. Because again I 416 00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:22,240 Speaker 1: don't have a lot of your information. There's so much, 417 00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:25,440 Speaker 1: so many questions I would need to ask to really 418 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:28,640 Speaker 1: help you understand, you know which debt to tech goal 419 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:31,560 Speaker 1: and in which order. But going to one of these 420 00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,720 Speaker 1: counseling agencies and getting some help there is really important. 421 00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:37,800 Speaker 1: I also want you to be really careful because in 422 00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,919 Speaker 1: your state, you're like, you're financially vulnerable right now. You 423 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:44,040 Speaker 1: have a lot of debt. You feel shame around the debt, 424 00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:49,240 Speaker 1: and that is when scammers and not even scammers necessarily, 425 00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:54,360 Speaker 1: but some organizations or people credit repair companies for example, 426 00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:57,320 Speaker 1: people may come to you and make and sell you 427 00:22:57,359 --> 00:22:59,359 Speaker 1: a bill of goods like oh I can fix this, 428 00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:02,280 Speaker 1: Oh don't want I have all the answers, pay me 429 00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:04,320 Speaker 1: this and I'll get this all taken care of. And 430 00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:06,679 Speaker 1: I don't want you to get scammed, Okay, So I 431 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,880 Speaker 1: really want you to vet the organizations before you work 432 00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:11,680 Speaker 1: with them. And if it's too good to be true, 433 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:17,000 Speaker 1: double triple, quadruple, think before you leap. Look them up. 434 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:20,320 Speaker 1: Check out their Better Bureau Better Business Bureau ratings, check 435 00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:24,159 Speaker 1: out the Trust Pilot ratings. Yeah, and bea fan. If 436 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:27,560 Speaker 1: you have that in a situation and you recommend any 437 00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:31,280 Speaker 1: service to E, you can email those to me brandanmissionpodcast 438 00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:33,280 Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. And I'm happy to pass the 439 00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:36,080 Speaker 1: most those along to you E. But I just want 440 00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:38,320 Speaker 1: you to be really careful and at the end of 441 00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:41,840 Speaker 1: the day, you and that baby and your health and 442 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:45,760 Speaker 1: happiness are what come first, Okay. At this time, you 443 00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:49,680 Speaker 1: want to really avoid lifestyle inflation. And this may sound painful, 444 00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:52,720 Speaker 1: especially if like you're comparing yourself to the version of 445 00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,440 Speaker 1: whoever you think you ought to be at twenty nine 446 00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:57,919 Speaker 1: years old. And maybe for you that's like I have 447 00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:01,399 Speaker 1: a house with a white piket and a nice lawn, 448 00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:05,600 Speaker 1: and my baby is playing around in the sprinkler in 449 00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:08,800 Speaker 1: the backyard in the summertime and running up and down 450 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:12,600 Speaker 1: the block with neighbor friends. And that's this like wholesome 451 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:15,560 Speaker 1: vision that you have. But the reality maybe that you 452 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:19,040 Speaker 1: are living with family to get that additional support right now, 453 00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:22,720 Speaker 1: childcare is so expensive, And if there's one thing I 454 00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:25,320 Speaker 1: could do differently, it would be never moved as far 455 00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:28,080 Speaker 1: away from my family as I did in my early twenties. 456 00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:31,400 Speaker 1: Obviously that helped me in my career in so many ways, 457 00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:35,640 Speaker 1: but as a mom, it is bullshit. I'm just gonna say. 458 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:38,560 Speaker 1: It is not smart. It's terrible. It was a bad 459 00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:41,440 Speaker 1: financial decision, it was a bad to mental health decision. 460 00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:44,440 Speaker 1: It was a bad relationship decision because when you don't 461 00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:47,480 Speaker 1: have family support like it puts a huge burden, that 462 00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:50,800 Speaker 1: puts a huge strain on your relationship as a couple. 463 00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:54,280 Speaker 1: So yeah, I think that in the more and I've 464 00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:56,440 Speaker 1: just made it a priority to visit my family more 465 00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:59,080 Speaker 1: and to bring them here more to you know, to 466 00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:02,000 Speaker 1: count act that reality that I have that we're not 467 00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:05,040 Speaker 1: we don't live in the same state. So I would say, 468 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:10,200 Speaker 1: humble yourself and recognize that this is just a point 469 00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:12,480 Speaker 1: in time. You're still so young, you have so much 470 00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:15,600 Speaker 1: time ahead of you. In another five years, this could 471 00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:18,240 Speaker 1: be all behind you. The bad collections could be falling 472 00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:21,280 Speaker 1: off your credit report. Your little baby is still going 473 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:24,000 Speaker 1: to be a young kid, and then you can afford, 474 00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:26,320 Speaker 1: you know, whatever you want to get for them. You 475 00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:28,480 Speaker 1: want to give them the life that you want for them. 476 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:30,439 Speaker 1: But at the same time, I just want you to 477 00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:34,359 Speaker 1: remember that your happiness is really important and you have 478 00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:37,480 Speaker 1: to be clear on what you and your family a 479 00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:39,439 Speaker 1: family that you're building, like, what are you going to 480 00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:42,679 Speaker 1: value and how do you want your financial choices to 481 00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:45,440 Speaker 1: align with those values? What do I want the year 482 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:48,040 Speaker 1: to look like for me and my family, and how 483 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:50,560 Speaker 1: what do I want to value this year? This year, 484 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:53,040 Speaker 1: I'm going to be valuing paying down debt and getting 485 00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:56,400 Speaker 1: a debt plan, and every financial choice that you make 486 00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:58,800 Speaker 1: has to sort of be made through that lens. I 487 00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:02,800 Speaker 1: am working toward financial freedom, and that means that that vacation, 488 00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:09,480 Speaker 1: those Cowboy Carter tickets, the swim lessons, the summer camps, 489 00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:14,080 Speaker 1: the extended daycare hours, whatever it may be, the shake 490 00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:18,280 Speaker 1: Rattle n roll baby classes or whatever the f that 491 00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:20,040 Speaker 1: you may need to put those on the back burner 492 00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:24,480 Speaker 1: because your value is financial freedom for you and your family, 493 00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:26,960 Speaker 1: and when you angle it, that way. When you shift 494 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:29,600 Speaker 1: your mindset in that way, that may help you feel 495 00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:33,560 Speaker 1: a lot more at peace and confident and proud of 496 00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,800 Speaker 1: the choices that you're making. And tune out all the 497 00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:40,200 Speaker 1: other garbage, all the other noise out there, even get 498 00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:43,240 Speaker 1: off social media. I would say, just give yourself space 499 00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:49,119 Speaker 1: from the comparison trap and find other mothers, families that 500 00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:51,600 Speaker 1: are maybe in a similar position to you, and support 501 00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:55,360 Speaker 1: one another, because I promise you, girl, you are not alone. 502 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,040 Speaker 1: You absolutely are not alone. And even if you think 503 00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:00,760 Speaker 1: other people have it all figured out, maybe they've even 504 00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:03,480 Speaker 1: been where you are or they're in the same situation. 505 00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:07,120 Speaker 1: But find people you trust to support yourself, to support 506 00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:10,080 Speaker 1: you on this journey so you don't feel so alone, 507 00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:12,320 Speaker 1: and to remind you that you are a great mama, 508 00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:18,280 Speaker 1: and you are not your mistakes. You are not your mistakes. Okay, 509 00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:20,919 Speaker 1: you still have a huge future ahead of you, a 510 00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:24,480 Speaker 1: bright future. You can get out of the situation. So 511 00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:27,600 Speaker 1: you totaled your first car, you didn't have insurance. Oops, Okay, 512 00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:30,119 Speaker 1: that was a huge mistake, but it's over now. What 513 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:33,840 Speaker 1: version of yourself are you today? And can you just 514 00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:38,879 Speaker 1: forgive baby e? Can you just forgive her and put 515 00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:41,919 Speaker 1: all that shame to bed and now kind of like 516 00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:45,440 Speaker 1: look at her and say, okay, baby girl, E, you 517 00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:47,480 Speaker 1: made some choices and now we got to like put 518 00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:50,640 Speaker 1: our big girl pants on and get this under control. 519 00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:53,000 Speaker 1: But I still love you. Girl. We had a time, 520 00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:55,959 Speaker 1: didn't we had. We had a good, good time. And 521 00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:59,200 Speaker 1: I'm still I'm in the driver's seat though. Now okay, 522 00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:02,639 Speaker 1: baby girl in the backseat, it's in the past. I'm driving. 523 00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:05,919 Speaker 1: I'm looking ahead now and we'll get through this together. 524 00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,480 Speaker 1: And I just want you to think about that and 525 00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:12,080 Speaker 1: hopefully that helps with your mindset and helps reduce a 526 00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:14,520 Speaker 1: lot of the suffering that you're having right now that 527 00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:19,600 Speaker 1: you're self inflicting because you're ashamed and maybe embarrassed of 528 00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:23,240 Speaker 1: those choices that you made back then. Okay, E, I 529 00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:25,760 Speaker 1: just really appreciate your question. I'm sending you a big 530 00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:29,159 Speaker 1: mama bear hug from New York and I wish you 531 00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:31,359 Speaker 1: all the best. Will you please update me? And also, 532 00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:34,960 Speaker 1: happy birthday? Why didn't I say that? Happy belated birthday? 533 00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:39,239 Speaker 1: You are You're gonna look back in like five to 534 00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:42,239 Speaker 1: ten years and be so proud of yourself for what 535 00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:45,520 Speaker 1: you overcame. And one of the best things about getting 536 00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:48,560 Speaker 1: older is that the mistakes you made in the past 537 00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:53,440 Speaker 1: gets smaller and smaller and smaller, and the sting, the 538 00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:57,760 Speaker 1: sting of shame dulls and almost goes away, especially if 539 00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:00,480 Speaker 1: you do a lot of mindset work around that forgiving 540 00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:02,840 Speaker 1: yourself and self love and I just I hope that 541 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,600 Speaker 1: for you, But it's going to take some time and 542 00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:09,360 Speaker 1: you know, some work. But again I think it's it's 543 00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:13,160 Speaker 1: work that is totally worthy and necessary so that ultimately 544 00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:15,600 Speaker 1: you can focus on what matters most, which is having 545 00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:18,560 Speaker 1: a beautiful bond with your baby and giving them the 546 00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:21,120 Speaker 1: only thing that they really need, which is you, your 547 00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:24,480 Speaker 1: love and your time. Thank you e and thank you 548 00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:26,760 Speaker 1: BA fan for listening again. If you want to leave 549 00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:30,080 Speaker 1: a question, send a question, you can email me Brandimission 550 00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:32,360 Speaker 1: Podcast at gmail dot com or hit me up on 551 00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:36,560 Speaker 1: ig at brand Ambission Podcast and maybe your question will 552 00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:38,720 Speaker 1: be answered on the show. By the way, tell a 553 00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:40,920 Speaker 1: friend to tell a friend, share the show. Tag us 554 00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:44,080 Speaker 1: on social media if you loved an episode. I love 555 00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:46,120 Speaker 1: when you all take screenshots and then you post them 556 00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:48,000 Speaker 1: to your stories and give us a tag so that 557 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:50,360 Speaker 1: we can reshare them. But just share it with someone 558 00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:52,960 Speaker 1: in your network. Who you feel like. Okay, this person 559 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:56,600 Speaker 1: also needs to hear something positive, optimistic in these dark 560 00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:58,800 Speaker 1: times that we're in right now, and you want to 561 00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:03,440 Speaker 1: bring them into the BA fan You are welcome. Thank 562 00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:05,880 Speaker 1: y'all so much. All Right, have a great day and 563 00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:08,440 Speaker 1: we'll see y'all next week. By BA Fans