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Speaker 1: It's Kathy Schwartz, your celebrity mentor back with my fabulous

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Speaker 1: podcast producer Heather and let's get right back into some

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Speaker 1: more of these celebrity divorce headline stories.

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Speaker 2: Well, this one is this person is no stranger to

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Speaker 2: the headlines. Kate Goslin compares current drama with son Colin

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Speaker 2: to the negative energy she's faced in the past. And wow,

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Speaker 2: Kate Goslin has faced quite a bit of negativity. Obviously,

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Speaker 2: we're talking about Kate from the hit TV showback on TLC,

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Speaker 2: the Kate plus eight John and Kate plus eight.

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Speaker 3: Before that, before she got divorced.

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Speaker 2: So right now, Colin is, you know, starting to do

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Speaker 2: the press circuit for his book. But it says Kate

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Speaker 2: Goslin is adamantly in good spirits despite her ongoing estrangement

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Speaker 2: from son Colin ahead of the release of his tell

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Speaker 2: all memoir. In the comments of Kate's Tuesday TikTok upload

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Speaker 2: about life in the Wild Wild West Homestead, a social

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Speaker 2: media user apologized if negative energy had affected the reality

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Speaker 2: TV alum, and she responded, I am and I'm fine.

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Speaker 2: This is honestly small compared to what me and my

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Speaker 2: other kids have been through back in the day. Obviously,

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Speaker 2: Kate shares twins Maddie and Kara, who are both twenty

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Speaker 2: five and sex tuplets Colin, Joel, Aidan, Hannah, Alexis Leah

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Speaker 2: all twenty two with ex husband John Gosslin. Hearing their

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Speaker 2: ages first of all freaks me out because I was

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Speaker 2: a very big time watcher of John Kate plus eight

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Speaker 2: and I watched those babies be fed like sitting up

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Speaker 2: in my chairs. So the fact that the youngest are

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Speaker 2: now twenty two is crazy. So Kate was initially granted

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Speaker 2: primary custody of all eight children when her and John divorced,

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Speaker 2: but Colin, however, claimed that he was institutionalized by Kate

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Speaker 2: after alleged behavioral issues. Her ex John, later sought custody

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Speaker 2: of Colin, leading to the latter's estrangement with Kate. John

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Speaker 2: also received custody of Hannah, who is still in touch

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Speaker 2: with her mom. Colin is now ready to share his

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Speaker 2: side of his upbringing and family drama. In his debut

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Speaker 2: memoir In the Shadow of Eight, Surviving the Reality of

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Speaker 2: My Childhood, he says, my life was always broadcast millions,

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Speaker 2: but what was actually happening in my life was never shown.

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Speaker 2: In fact, much of it has much of it was

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Speaker 2: deliberately kept hidden, he told us Weekly last month. Kind

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Speaker 2: of rubs me the wrong way.

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Speaker 1: Kate's comments that she's basically happy what rubbed.

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Speaker 2: She literally says, this is small compared to what me

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Speaker 2: and kids have been through. I think that she is

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Speaker 2: known in the press for kind of being a little unemotional.

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Speaker 2: Anybody who watched the show would also say that she

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Speaker 2: was criticized a lot back in the day for how

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Speaker 2: she was basically degrading of her now ex husband on

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Speaker 2: camera and emasculating him constantly. She's known for kind of

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Speaker 2: like running a tight ship when it comes to these kids,

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Speaker 2: and I think that you do have to take that

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Speaker 2: on when you're when there's more kids than there are parents, when.

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Speaker 1: Many kids, Yeah, yeah, got it. I had I had three,

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Speaker 1: and I ran a tight ship. So I can't hold

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Speaker 1: that against her.

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Speaker 3: No, for sure.

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Speaker 2: But I don't think I would be commenting if one

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Speaker 2: of my estranged children was out there making comments about me,

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't be I probably wouldn't be acknowledging it, And

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Speaker 2: if I did, I would probably just say if my sonstening,

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Speaker 2: I want to know, I want him to know that

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Speaker 2: I love him so much.

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Speaker 1: Well, that's and that's in the fairy tale book that

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Speaker 1: you read before you go to bed at night.

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Speaker 2: I just think as a parent, that's part of actually

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Speaker 2: a public parent. I don't think that. I think it

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Speaker 2: would be leading with love, and I think it would

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Speaker 2: be like trying to come to situations and listen. I'm

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Speaker 2: really interested actually to hear what this book is about,

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Speaker 2: because he has basically said in so little words that like,

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Speaker 2: he didn't have behavioral issues, and so I'm interested to

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Speaker 2: hear what his experience was.

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Speaker 3: And I'm glad that he's getting to use his voice.

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Speaker 1: But I do find it interesting that, I mean, this

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Speaker 1: is the way of Hollywood. This that show was watched

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Speaker 1: by millions. It is to be brought up in the public.

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Speaker 1: It's sad and yet I at the same time I

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Speaker 1: understand Colin doing what he's doing. He said that this

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Speaker 1: book is about truth, survival, resilience, and finding my voice

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Speaker 1: after years of being silenced. If my story helps even

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Speaker 1: one person feel less alone or gives them the courage

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Speaker 1: to tell their own, then every difficult page was worth writing.

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Speaker 1: Of course, Kate is denying all the accusations. I think again,

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Speaker 1: in a perfect world, she would lead with love and

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Speaker 1: Colin wouldn't feel the need. He might write his memoir

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Speaker 1: but maybe not feel the need to share it with everyone. Unfortunately,

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Speaker 1: that's not the way their childhood, their life has been

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Speaker 1: very public, and so in some ways I understand his

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Speaker 1: need to come forward and speak as truth, and I

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Speaker 1: think I don't think that's the end of the story.

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Speaker 1: I think more is gonna come out about this, and

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Speaker 1: I think Kate can only you know it says that

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Speaker 1: she's focused on her daily life for their other children.

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Speaker 1: You can't just ignore a book that talks so openly

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Speaker 1: about what Colin says his childhood was like, I think

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Speaker 1: there's going to be more to this.

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Speaker 2: I also think that it's a time for reflection and

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Speaker 2: some humility. I think you would agree with me as

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Speaker 2: a parent that there isn't really a playbook for how

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Speaker 2: to be a parent. All children are different and so

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Speaker 2: nobody gets it right one hundred percent of the time.

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Speaker 2: And so I'm sure as a parent you could look

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Speaker 2: back and say, Gosh, I wish I did XYZ different

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Speaker 2: with this kid or this kid. And so maybe Kate,

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Speaker 2: you take this as an opportunity to look back and say,

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Speaker 2: you know what, in that moment, I thought I was

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Speaker 2: doing the right thing, But clearly my child experienced something different.

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Speaker 2: And for that, I'm sorry, and I would like to

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Speaker 2: listen to him and hear and apologize to how I

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Speaker 2: could have done better. And moving forward, I hope to

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Speaker 2: be a better listener for my child and hopefully we can.

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Speaker 2: You know, but there has to be some humility, and

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Speaker 2: there has to be, you know, some acknowledg of like

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Speaker 2: I did not do everything right.

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Speaker 3: I am a human, this.

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Speaker 2: Is my first time being a parent, this is my

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Speaker 2: first experience.

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Speaker 3: I was maybe she was feeling overwhelmed.

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Speaker 1: I mean, why would you feel overwhelmed with eight children?

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Speaker 1: I can't imagine.

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Speaker 3: But also to give her some grace, she went from

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Speaker 3: having a partner in her household to then all of

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Speaker 3: a sudden, being the sole caretaker for these children.

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Speaker 1: See, that is a very important thing to remember. I

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Speaker 1: think I can't even imagine. I had three children and

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Speaker 1: I had a husband who helped me raise them. I

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Speaker 1: think probably things happen that you and I. I am

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Speaker 1: a parent. I can't even imagine what her life must

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Speaker 1: have been like to my children. I've admitted mistakes, I

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Speaker 1: love my kids, but they know I've made mistakes raising them. Again,

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Speaker 1: when you're raising children in a very public way, not

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Speaker 1: to mention octuplets or sex on a television show. On

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Speaker 1: a television show.

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Speaker 2: At one point she went in film Dancing with the

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Speaker 2: Stars like there was like a whole They've never had

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Speaker 2: a normal lifestyle, like these kids, they never had a

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Speaker 2: normal upbringing. Everything was under a microscope. I just think

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Speaker 2: that the outward appearance. Obviously you and I don't know

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Speaker 2: these people, but my outward appearance of watching Kate and

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Speaker 2: seeing her in the public eye for so many years,

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Speaker 2: is that admitting wrongdoing and taking you know, some humble

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Speaker 2: pie does not come easy to her. And I hope

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Speaker 2: that this experience will make her maybe take a step

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Speaker 2: back and reflect and acknowledge you know, hey, I thought

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Speaker 2: I was doing the right thing, but now looking back,

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Speaker 2: you know the same thing. Paris Hilton has been, you know,

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Speaker 2: really open with her experience. But you know that Paris

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Speaker 2: was sent away to places when she was younger that

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Speaker 2: were not good. Paris has been able to have and

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Speaker 2: you know, maintain a relationship with her parents, and she

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Speaker 2: experienced some really horrible treatment. And so when she went

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Speaker 2: to those institutions as a young child and teen. So

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Speaker 2: I think that do I think it's irre. You know,

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Speaker 2: their relationship cannot be repaired, these two, I don't.

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Speaker 3: I think that they can.

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Speaker 2: But you got to meet halfway and you got to

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Speaker 2: kind of probably admit that you did some wrongdoing or that,

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Speaker 2: you know, looking back, I didn't do as much research

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Speaker 2: as I needed to, Xyz. I had so many kids,

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Speaker 2: you know, I didn't get the help I needed. And

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Speaker 2: I think Colin also needs to probably take some you know,

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Speaker 2: steps back and say, like, was my mom being malicious

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Speaker 2: with me? Or was she trying to do the best

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Speaker 2: that she could with the tools that she was given

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Speaker 2: at the time.

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Speaker 1: Well, let me just say you are given, and you're

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Speaker 1: wonderful to give them both so much grace, But everything

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Speaker 1: you're talking about comes from people who have done the work.

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Speaker 1: They've gone back, and I don't know off either one

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Speaker 1: of them how much work they've done. But I truly

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Speaker 1: hope that both of them, as you said, can take

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Speaker 1: a step back and that this memoir is as opposed

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Speaker 1: to a book that is a tell all. I hope

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Speaker 1: it is an opening for them to find a way

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Speaker 1: to repair their relationship because we're only here for so long.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, I hate to think that this is a

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Speaker 1: relationship the.

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Speaker 2: Cause I hate to think that this has impacted his

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Speaker 2: relationship with his siblings. If that's the case, that's a

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Speaker 2: real shame as well, because those are that's such a

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Speaker 2: special bond. I can't you hear about twins, but sex tuplets. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: like that's got to be, you know, a very serious bond.

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Speaker 2: So I we're all hoping for them to get on

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Speaker 2: track with each other again. And obviously I'd love to

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Speaker 2: have Calling come on the pod and speak to his

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Speaker 2: experience about you know, being a product of divorce and

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Speaker 2: you know all of that as well.

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Speaker 1: I was one of seven kids product of divorce, so

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Speaker 1: he and I probably could share some stories.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well, wrapping it up, Jennifer Garner says, relying on

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Speaker 2: incredible co parent Ben Affleck freed her to film The

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Speaker 2: five Star Weekend. So Entertainment Weekly says that Jennifer Garner

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Speaker 2: made the decision that when she became a mom, no

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Speaker 2: film or TV work would keep her away from her

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Speaker 2: kids for too long. Her three children, Violet, Sarafina, and Samuel,

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Speaker 2: are now older and she's still sticking to that plan.

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Speaker 2: Jennifer originally turned down the five Star Weekend because filming

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Speaker 2: took place in Nova Scotia and she was not willing

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Speaker 2: to be that far away from her kids. Production then

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Speaker 2: moved primarily to Los Angeles, with just one month in Nantucket,

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Speaker 2: making it possible for Ben to care for their three

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Speaker 2: kids while she worked on the film. Jennifer said that

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Speaker 2: because their kids are older and Ben stepped up, she

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Speaker 2: was finally able to accept the role and didn't feel

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Speaker 2: any guilt. Jennifer also says she has no regrets about

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Speaker 2: slowing her career when her children were younger because she

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Speaker 2: wanted to be present for them. These two continue to

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Speaker 2: talk about each other publicly in such high regards, and

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Speaker 2: we know that when Ben has had issues when he

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Speaker 2: was with j Lo and whatnot and back and like

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Speaker 2: in the interim, him and Jen have always remained tight

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Speaker 2: pictures of them together, showing up to kids things together.

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Speaker 2: So I think that they're a great example of putting

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Speaker 2: the kids first.

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Speaker 1: You took the words right out of my mouth. It

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Speaker 1: can be done. I honestly believe they set the bar

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Speaker 1: for all other couples, public couples. Hollywood couples who are

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Speaker 1: in the public eye. It can be done.

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Speaker 2: But I want to give grace to anybody listening right

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Speaker 2: now who absolutely despises and hates their ex and doesn't

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Speaker 2: want to be in the same room with them.

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Speaker 3: I really do.

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Speaker 2: And I say this, Kathy, because as much as my

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Speaker 2: parents really did make it work after some years, I mean,

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Speaker 2: my parents spent holidays together when my mom was passing

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Speaker 2: away and in her last stages of life, there were

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Speaker 2: numerous times where I showed up to see my mom,

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Speaker 2: you know, and my dad would be there holding her hand,

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Speaker 2: and I wasn't expecting that. And that's because there was

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Speaker 2: a lot of love between them. And I'm very aware

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Speaker 2: that that was not a normal situation for a lot

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Speaker 2: of people and might not be for people that are

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Speaker 2: listening right now. And I just want to say that,

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Speaker 2: in going through my own really traumatic breakup, I've had

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Speaker 2: so much compassion for people that go through your divorce

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Speaker 2: and have children because I can't imagine seeing my ex

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Speaker 2: again for the rest of my life. I literally can't

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Speaker 2: imagine seeing them. And I know that people listening to

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Speaker 2: this podcast have gone through serious traumatic divorces involving cheating

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Speaker 2: and all sorts of stuff and to show up and

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Speaker 2: put your feelings aside for your kids. I just want

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Speaker 2: to commend people that do it, because truly, we sit

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Speaker 2: here and we talk about how great it is for

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Speaker 2: Ben and Jen to do it, But I can't imagine

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Speaker 2: actually being in the situation and having to do it

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Speaker 2: and having to put my feelings aside for my kids.

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Speaker 2: I can't imagine seeing my ex with somebody else moving

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Speaker 2: on and having to welcome that person into my life.

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Speaker 3: Like it sounds so.

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Speaker 2: Difficult, and so for anybody listening right now, that is

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Speaker 2: like not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

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Speaker 2: I think that you can get there because you love

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Speaker 2: your kids so much. I don't have children, so I

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Speaker 2: don't have something to pour into like that, so I

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Speaker 2: can't imagine it. And if I was a parent, I

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Speaker 2: would probably want to put my kids first for sure.

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Speaker 2: But if you're going through it and you can't see

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Speaker 2: the light at the end of the tunnel and you

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Speaker 2: didn't have divorced parents, just know that, like it will

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Speaker 2: meet in the world to your kids when they can

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Speaker 2: have those memories in those moments to look back on.

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Speaker 2: I never got to go on vacation with my parents together,

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Speaker 2: but I have memories of having dinner together. Like as

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Speaker 2: I got older, and even after I was like in college,

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Speaker 2: moved out, whatever, I would go to see my mom

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Speaker 2: and she would go, oh, you know who I had

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Speaker 2: dinner with the other night.

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Speaker 3: I'd say, who did she go? Your dad? He called

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Speaker 3: me up and we went and had dinner together. And

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Speaker 3: it was so.

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Speaker 2: Nice because they loved each other so much, even though

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Speaker 2: their marriage ended in such a bad way. But it'll

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Speaker 2: mean the world to your kids, anybody listening, if you're

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Speaker 2: able to get over it. But I'm just here to

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Speaker 2: say that I understand that it sounds horrific. It sounds

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Speaker 2: horrific to be friends with an next I can't imagine it.

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Speaker 3: I really can't.

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Speaker 1: First of all, I just want to say to you,

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Speaker 1: I know you, Heather, and you have so much love

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Speaker 1: in your heart, and I think what you're saying comes

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Speaker 1: from such a place of love, and I agree with

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Speaker 1: you one hundred percent. If parents, I wish my parents

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Speaker 1: could have been more like Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck.

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Speaker 2: They weren't.

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Speaker 1: It was miserable, and the trickle down effect to me

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Speaker 1: and my siblings. There was some pretty horrific times. But

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Speaker 1: I do think the operative word here is love and respect.

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Speaker 1: And if you, if, if people going through it right

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Speaker 1: now can just remember that there is sun on the

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Speaker 1: other side, whatever that, you know, whatever metaphor you want

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Speaker 1: to use, the sun will rise again if you can,

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Speaker 1: if you can put your kids first. I think it's

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Speaker 1: very difficult for some of these couples we've talked about

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Speaker 1: today because they are so much in the public eye.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, and you know, you and I my parents

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Speaker 1: didn't have publicists. I mean, we could hide a lot

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Speaker 1: that didn't have to be known. But I do think

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Speaker 1: that chill you. Oh. I've always said this. You bring

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Speaker 1: those children into the world, you owe them, You owe

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Speaker 1: them to bring them up and have them feel love.

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Speaker 1: It's just that simple for me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, do your best. Go talk smack about Go talk

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Speaker 2: smack about your ex to your friends, like that's what

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Speaker 2: they're there for, you know what I mean, Go write

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Speaker 2: it in the journal. Just don't talk about it to

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Speaker 2: your kids. I mean, were my parents perfect? And did

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Speaker 2: they say like snarky things about each other when we

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Speaker 2: were around without the of course, come on there they

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Speaker 2: you know, the divorce was very.

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Speaker 3: Not mutual.

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Speaker 2: I will say that, and so there was a lot

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Speaker 2: of animosity for a while. But you know, it's just

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Speaker 2: as a kid, I didn't appreciate it like I did

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Speaker 2: in these last couple of years going through my own experience,

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Speaker 2: because it really gave me a lot of perspective on

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Speaker 2: my dad and the kind of feelings he had when

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Speaker 2: he would show up. So it gives me a lot

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Speaker 2: of empathy for him, and I just my heart really

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Speaker 2: goes out to single parents and people going through divorce.

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Speaker 3: Because it is traumatic.

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Speaker 2: It's really really traumatic, and it's going to be traumatic

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Speaker 2: for your kids, and it's going to impact them in

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Speaker 2: some way. I'm still finding out as an adult the

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Speaker 2: way that impact.

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Speaker 1: We never stopped growing. But let me just say to you,

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Speaker 1: it the one gift that we can always give our children.

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Speaker 1: And I've learned this pretty late in life. Our kids

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Speaker 1: don't watch as much what we say. They watch a

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Speaker 1: whole lot closer what we do. And so if you

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Speaker 1: want your children, I firmly believe this, if you want

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Speaker 1: your children to go up and be loving, respectful, kind adults,

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Speaker 1: then you need to model that and you need to

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Speaker 1: model it with everyone in your life. And some people

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Speaker 1: it's easier to model with than others. But you can

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Speaker 1: teach even though the divorce may be really tough on you,

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Speaker 1: it's tough on your kids, but at least you can

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Speaker 1: teach them how to move forward in a positive way

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Speaker 1: and not be throwing daggers. That's what I learned as

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Speaker 1: an adult. I wish my parents had modeled it for me.

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Speaker 1: They didn't, but I've learned it as an adult.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well, if these divorce stories in the news sound like

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Speaker 2: a cakewalk compared to your issues, are you needing some

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Speaker 2: help to get through kind of this messiness and divorce?

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Speaker 2: In chapter two, we can help Send us an email

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Speaker 2: or leave us a voicemail. All the info is in

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Speaker 2: the show notes, and make sure to follow us on socials.

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Speaker 1: I Do Part two an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in

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Speaker 1: love is the main objective.