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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's being hired at funerals as

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Speaker 1: a professional coffin cuddler. Oh, because the last thing you

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Speaker 1: want to see is your great aunts looking lonely. So

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Speaker 1: for fifty bucks and a package of jerky, he'll climb

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Speaker 1: in and cuddle your loved one as you take your

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Speaker 1: final picks. With Laser Stories, the segment where we read

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Speaker 1: weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone else does,

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Speaker 1: except we've got a laser. There's other casket cases, just know.

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Speaker 1: This first laser story is out of Southwest Oregon. A

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Speaker 1: twenty four year old guy crashed his car the other night.

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Speaker 1: Police say he was driving home from a bar and

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Speaker 1: alcohol may have played a role, and so once he's

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Speaker 1: out of the hospital, he could be facing a DUI charge.

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Speaker 2: But on the bright side, it could be a bonding experience.

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Speaker 1: Why because his dad showed up to the scene of

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Speaker 1: the crash and he got a duiohol family. Fifty three

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Speaker 1: year old Jonathan Crable pulled up in his own vehicle

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Speaker 1: smelling like booze yeh. Police say he was uncooperative and

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Speaker 1: would not take a breathalyzer. They gave him a field

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Speaker 1: sobriety test and he failed.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure.

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Speaker 3: I'm sure he's gonna nose because I was so upset

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Speaker 3: that my son was in an accident.

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Speaker 2: You're not thinking about this situation. I love him.

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Speaker 1: Now he's facing charges for driving under the influence and refusing.

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Speaker 2: To provide a breath sample.

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Speaker 1: File this story under I learned it from watching you.

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Speaker 2: Even just played baseball with me, David.

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Speaker 1: His next laser story is out of Pennsylvania. A twenty

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Speaker 1: four year old man named Joshua Kaiser spent the past

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Speaker 1: four years of his life attempting to break a world's record.

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Speaker 2: Okay, he first decided to.

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Speaker 1: Do it when he was browsing the Internet during the

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Speaker 1: pandemic and randomly came out across an article on the

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Speaker 1: record for the world's tallest hat.

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Speaker 2: Joshua. Doug Dimodome owns that record in the cartoon world.

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Speaker 3: We all got interested in weird things during the pandemic,

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Speaker 3: and then we moved away from them.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, just left them. Not Joshua.

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Speaker 1: Apparently it had been set a couple of years before

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Speaker 1: at fifteen feet and nine inches.

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Speaker 2: Wo feels very heavy. So he set out on a

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Speaker 2: journey to beat that record.

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Speaker 3: My god, he better have a strong neck.

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Speaker 2: Well, it wasn't easy.

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Speaker 1: His first effort used stacked cardboard blocks and velcrow, and,

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Speaker 1: according to him, was an utter failure.

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Speaker 2: Oh it's hard to make a hat that will stay

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Speaker 2: up that tall.

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Speaker 3: No wire, I would think chicken wire would outside.

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Speaker 1: You're thinking you're onto something, Brooks, because that was his

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Speaker 1: third try with chicken wire in a tall cone.

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Speaker 2: Shit, you set it right now. I mean I literally

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Speaker 2: came up with it in two seconds. That turned out

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Speaker 2: to be a total disaster as well.

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Speaker 1: Before that, his second attempt involved wooden dowels. But he

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Speaker 1: just kept on going and going and eventually got lucky

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Speaker 1: when he tried out a couple of ten foot long

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Speaker 1: aluminum gutters from home Depot with a modified metal Philadelphia

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Speaker 1: Eagles trash can. Right now, I'm showing my host his

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Speaker 1: finished products.

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Speaker 2: Wow, you can exist. This is a recent college grass.

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Speaker 3: I didn't even dating app.

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Speaker 1: You can see it up on our instance Stori Zad

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Speaker 1: brook and Jeffrey Joshua's final design was seventeen feet nine

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Speaker 1: inches tall and it weighed more than twenty six pounds.

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Speaker 2: Dah, that's gonna her. Where does he store it? Yea

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Speaker 2: in the backyard. It has to be like on a lawn.

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Speaker 1: But he was able to wear the hat and walk

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Speaker 1: the minimum distance to get the record, which was about

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Speaker 1: thirty feet. So he is now the new world's record

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Speaker 1: holder tallest hat.

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Speaker 3: Yo.

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Speaker 2: Definitely worse four years of his life for the girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: So fast, bro, This next laser story is out of

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Speaker 1: eat that not this headquarters.

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Speaker 2: Are you an adventurous eater?

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Speaker 3: Yes? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: How about this adventurous?

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Speaker 1: Because a takeout place called bird Box opened in Midtown

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Speaker 1: Manhattan a few months ago, and they're going viral for

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Speaker 1: their nineteen dollars fried chicken sandwich. Hasty not so fast. Okay,

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Speaker 1: this chicken sandwich is so gourmet. It comes with a

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Speaker 1: foot attached.

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Speaker 2: I've seen this. I want to try this so bad again.

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Speaker 2: Picture of it is up on our Insta stories.

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Speaker 3: After Jeffrey and So, my husband lived in the Jamaican

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Speaker 3: countryside as like an exchange and Missus Edwards his host

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Speaker 3: Gramma would make chicken foot soup and it had chicken

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Speaker 3: feet in it and like you were the special one

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Speaker 3: if you got the foot and you got to suck.

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Speaker 2: Out all the part lits.

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Speaker 1: I found a chicken foot in a bowl of soup

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Speaker 1: when I was an all solved, and my dad took

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Speaker 1: music kid and I cried, seriously cried.

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, wait a minute.

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Speaker 3: It looks like it's reaching out of the sandwich.

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Speaker 1: When I say chicken foot, I mean it's the chicken's

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Speaker 1: entire leg poking out of the side of the bun.

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Speaker 2: What's worse is they gave the sandwich a name.

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Speaker 1: It's called clawed the claw.

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Speaker 2: You're not just eating a chicken, You're eating claw.

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Speaker 3: Wow. Isn't it good to know where our food came from?

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Speaker 2: I mean yeah, but now I feel a connection with it.

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Speaker 2: Don't worry.

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Speaker 3: It's like when a fish looks at you with its

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Speaker 3: eyeball after it's been fried.

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Speaker 2: I love eating fish.

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Speaker 1: The place is run by a Michelin star chef, and

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Speaker 1: everyone says the sandwich is great if you can stomach it.

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Speaker 2: For people who.

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Speaker 1: Don't want that much anatomy in their lunch, they also

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Speaker 1: offer a normal chicken sandwich, pulled the leg, What about

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Speaker 1: the beak?

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Speaker 2: Can I get the beaky? What's going right? Straight to

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Speaker 2: the chicken farms? Take the feather salad. Yeah, it's next.

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Speaker 1: As the Stories out of Therapy Corner has a meme

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Speaker 1: significantly improved your life, or maybe something that your grandma

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Speaker 1: once told you, or maybe something you.

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Speaker 2: Heard on your favorite radio show.

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Speaker 1: Probably not, but people on social media are sharing the

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Speaker 1: simple pieces of advice that have stuck with them through

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Speaker 1: the years and significantly improved their life. Oh okay, here's

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Speaker 1: the best ones. Number five, If you can't beat the fear,

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Speaker 1: do it scared.

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Speaker 3: I love that.

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Speaker 2: I love that.

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Speaker 3: It's like, you can't be brave if you're not scared, right,

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Speaker 3: because what are you?

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Speaker 2: Bra I guess you're right. Number four. Talk yourself into

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Speaker 2: doing things by saying, just do it as a joke.

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Speaker 2: That's actually really that's kind of like, do it for the.

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Speaker 1: Plot, right, I'm just gonna do ketamine as a joke,

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Speaker 1: just a joke.

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Speaker 2: Everybody's laughing. Hey, let's go, let's not do that. Number three.

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Speaker 1: It's better to ask stupid than do stupid. Yes, yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: asking Number two. You can't control the emotions you feel,

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Speaker 1: but you can control the actions you do regarding those emotions.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what, dude.

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Speaker 3: I feel like we're just going down the list of

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Speaker 3: all the things I nag my children about.

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Speaker 1: And finally, the top piece of simple advice that has

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Speaker 1: helped people out in their lives. You don't want to

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Speaker 1: enter your golden years thinking that you spent your life

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Speaker 1: worrying about things that might happen, but never.

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Speaker 2: Did you mean having anxiety? Yeah, like this guy.

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Speaker 1: For the last decade he kept freaking out about possibly

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Speaker 1: getting caught in the.

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Speaker 2: Laces, but did it ever happens? Now he's asking for us.

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Speaker 1: Oh great, that sound means Laser Stories has come to

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Speaker 1: an end for the day.

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Speaker 2: We'll do it again, saying time.

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Speaker 1: On Wednesday, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning