00:00:08 Speaker 1: Well, I invited you here. I thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no guests, your presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff. 00:00:35 Speaker 2: So how do you dare to surbey me? 00:00:46 Speaker 3: Welcome to? I said, no gifts. Hello, I'm Bridger Wineger. I'm so happy you're here. I hope you're having a nice day. What can I say to you? 00:00:59 Speaker 1: What? 00:00:59 Speaker 3: Were here alone together? And it feels terrific. If there's you know, if there's a friend or family member or coworker, you know who doesn't listen to the podcast, cut them out of your life. We don't need that energy. You've got to remove them. We're here, we're having a good time. Move on from those people. We're so excited about today's guest. I think you're going to be very excited. She's so funny. She's a delight. Julie Klausner, Julie, welcome to. I said no gifts. 00:01:31 Speaker 2: I'm so happy to be here. Thank you so much for having me. 00:01:34 Speaker 3: How are you? 00:01:35 Speaker 2: I'm great? 00:01:36 Speaker 4: I love your voice. I'm so crazy about your voice. Well, I've always liked you from knowing your work online and you know, following you on Twitter, and and then I heard your voice and I'm just. 00:01:50 Speaker 2: I belong to you. 00:01:51 Speaker 4: I'm just I'm so so into it. 00:01:55 Speaker 2: Like, have you ever been compared to James Spader before? Or am I? The first one is, I don't think I. 00:02:00 Speaker 3: Have you said, just like I actually couldn't tell you. I can't imagine what James Spader's voice sounds like in my head right now. And so it's like a I mean, you mentioned it in a we message back and forth a little bit, but I should have looked up his voice. But maybe that would be kind of shattering for me. I don't know. 00:02:20 Speaker 2: I love it. 00:02:21 Speaker 3: Well, this is what you know. Everyone hates their own voice. Well, I can't speak for it. 00:02:26 Speaker 4: I don't mind my own speaking voice. It's my own singing voice. I can't stand can you sing at all? Quite well? 00:02:33 Speaker 3: Oh, but you don't like it. 00:02:35 Speaker 4: I don't like listening to myself singing, but I don't mind hearing myself speak. 00:02:39 Speaker 3: Oh, that's interesting. 00:02:40 Speaker 4: It's more about if I'm cringing. It's more about what I'm saying than how I'm saying. 00:02:44 Speaker 3: Right, I've gotten to that point where I you know, through editing a podcast or whatever and listening to so much of it, you just get used to the sound of your voice. But I am constantly telling myself while listening to it to shut up. You shouldn't have said that. 00:02:55 Speaker 4: Oh well, yeah, I mean that's neither. Just don't change your voice whatever you do. 00:03:01 Speaker 3: My boyfriend does an impression of my voice, which is not accurate, and that's the one thing I know. It's not in any way accurate to reality. It sounds like a like an old woman falling down a well, and I don't think that that's how I sound. So that's the only thing I can say. 00:03:17 Speaker 2: Can you do an impression of him doing an impression? 00:03:19 Speaker 3: No, I couldn't. But it's almost like a bobcat, like a small bob. So I don't know where this impression came from. I think maybe just the fact that I'm small and so he's doing a small voice. 00:03:32 Speaker 2: Sounds sounds safe, sounds cruel to you. 00:03:36 Speaker 3: I'm in a very negative, you know, a relationship that just makes me feel small all the time. 00:03:42 Speaker 4: I'm going to send you before I forget, and we don't need to deal with this on the podcast, or we can. 00:03:47 Speaker 3: I would love to know. 00:03:48 Speaker 4: I'm going to send you a clip from the Blacklist, in which James Spader's character Red Reddington runs into John Waters playing himself, Oh beautiful at a bespoke Taylor Oh trying on a suit, and him saying in his inimitable James Spader voice, I'm such a fan of your work, and he goes, I'm such a fan of and John Waters goes pink flaming goes. 00:04:15 Speaker 2: He goes, No, no, your Christmas show. I loved the time. That's my James Spader. 00:04:23 Speaker 4: But I'm gonna send this to you right now because it's it's fascinating. 00:04:29 Speaker 2: Is uh, it's canon? 00:04:34 Speaker 3: Is Blacklist still on? 00:04:36 Speaker 2: It is? I just sent you the clip. 00:04:37 Speaker 3: I feel like maybe maybe I do some animation work as a James Spader maybe that you know, like if something is saved money on James Spader call me in. 00:04:47 Speaker 2: Do you have any feelings about James Spader one way or the other? 00:04:50 Speaker 4: No? 00:04:50 Speaker 2: I uh, I I know. 00:04:53 Speaker 3: I want to hear your feelings on him because it'll probably make me feel better. 00:04:57 Speaker 2: They're erotic. 00:04:59 Speaker 4: I I grew up with a crush on him from Pretty and Pink right and to I'm not gonna say lesser, but to a stranger extent mannequin because he does the strangest performance, strangest choices. 00:05:11 Speaker 3: Who is he in Mannequin? 00:05:13 Speaker 4: He was like the uptight kind of smoking villain who was conspiring with Tackleberry right right, and I was just totally bananas about him and his lady dye hair. And then he came back into my life. Well, actually, I know that's not true. He didn't actually leave because he was in David Croningberg's crash about people that are sexually aroused by car accidents, which is a fabulous premise, and obviously sexalizes in videotastes. 00:05:46 Speaker 2: Who's always doing these like sexy things. 00:05:48 Speaker 4: And then in nineteen ninety nine Secretary, so forget it, forget it because. 00:05:53 Speaker 2: Now it's Blacklist. He's older, he's bald. I don't care. 00:06:00 Speaker 3: I feel like if only I mean my light exposure to Blacklist. He's always wearing a hat. Is that true? 00:06:05 Speaker 2: Yes? 00:06:06 Speaker 3: And is that most of the series or do you see him bald a lot of the time. 00:06:10 Speaker 2: He takes off the hat. 00:06:11 Speaker 3: Okay, the hat is removed. And what is the premise of Blacklist? 00:06:15 Speaker 4: He is a criminal who turns himself into the FEDS and says, I'm going to help you find all the other criminals on this blacklist of criminals, the big guys. 00:06:29 Speaker 2: Oh, the big guys. 00:06:30 Speaker 4: I don't know if he says, if you grant me immunity, but he decides to use his powers of villainry to find other villains. 00:06:41 Speaker 3: So is just kind of a rat. 00:06:44 Speaker 4: Yes, I guess I've only seen a couple episodes. They're self contained. 00:06:49 Speaker 2: Right, they're procedurals. He is so funny on it. He's so ornery, he has all these long monologues. 00:06:58 Speaker 4: He's terrific. It's a silly show. I would walk to the ends of the earth for. 00:07:04 Speaker 3: Him, except for you would not watch any more than two episodes of The Blacks. 00:07:09 Speaker 2: I'll watch more episodes of the Blacklist. 00:07:11 Speaker 3: Maybe I'll give it a shot. You know, I don't watch a procedural. Maybe it's time for me to get into a pit. 00:07:16 Speaker 2: You never watched any procedurals. 00:07:18 Speaker 3: I've never watched them, and I feel like I would enjoy them. They're very low, you know, low investment. 00:07:25 Speaker 2: Even an episode of Law and Order here and there. 00:07:27 Speaker 3: You can I've probably seen one. 00:07:29 Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm the same. I mean they do well, all a cart right, they're wrapped up. What is their medical lawyer and cop? 00:07:38 Speaker 1: Yeah? 00:07:39 Speaker 3: I think those are there. And I think we've gotten into firefighter territory with your Chicago fires. This kind of thing. 00:07:44 Speaker 4: Fire of the week, it's ourson this Thursday. 00:07:50 Speaker 3: How many different types of fires can you put a house? 00:07:53 Speaker 2: That's my question exactly. 00:07:54 Speaker 4: It's the campfire, summer camp cooking, a lot of cooking. 00:07:59 Speaker 3: You've got like a firework explosion kind of thing. 00:08:02 Speaker 2: That's true. 00:08:04 Speaker 3: And I think there are various kitchen fire. You've got your grease for a lot of you've got your act microwave fire. 00:08:11 Speaker 2: What's a microwave fire? When you put a can of soup? 00:08:14 Speaker 3: Right? I feel like that's when you're putting some type of metal in. You leave a fork in your super Bowl, Well, I guess your spoon in your super Bowl. That feels like a fire to me. 00:08:24 Speaker 2: I'm trying to think of other fire of fire show Chicago fire. 00:08:28 Speaker 3: I think Chicago fire feels kind of like, right, is it the pioneer in the fire procedure? You don't know, It's hard to say. I can't imagine. I mean, I feel like there must be another what's new in your life now that pandemic is kind of slowing down, What are you doing? 00:08:49 Speaker 5: Well? 00:08:49 Speaker 4: It's less about what's new and more about a return to the normalcy of being very jealous and angry of people that are succeeding. When I was under the impression that we all agree to stay on pause. 00:09:03 Speaker 3: No, Unfortunately, there are plenty of psychopaths who have been really grinding the gears and really just going at all speeds this entire time. 00:09:12 Speaker 4: How did I not get that kind of depression? 00:09:14 Speaker 2: I saw bo Burnham special, I said, I got on the wrong line. 00:09:21 Speaker 3: I haven't seen that yet, but it does. I mean, I guess I can't speak to it at all. But apparently he had at least enough energy to put together a full hour of hour and a half Bridger hour and a half. 00:09:36 Speaker 4: Where did I exactly where do I sign up for that kind of mental wellness? 00:09:42 Speaker 3: Mine? It's just you know, layers. It's like having blankets thrown on me until the point that I'm just sweating, and I. 00:09:49 Speaker 2: Wish I could get comfort from a weighted blanket. But I'm a hot sleeper. 00:09:55 Speaker 3: Oh you are? Do you sleep with any type of blanket? 00:09:57 Speaker 4: I do, But I crank the ac and it's it gets pretty arctic. 00:10:03 Speaker 2: Arctic right in there. 00:10:06 Speaker 3: That's what I need. I need a very cold room, but I still need something on me. People who can't, who don't sleep with any blanket, I don't understand how that even works. 00:10:14 Speaker 2: Right, Those are called dogs. 00:10:17 Speaker 3: That's my boyfriend, and he sleeps without a cover. It drives me out of my mind. 00:10:22 Speaker 2: A couple of questions, more questions about him. But I'll wait a bit. I was gonna say, a weighted blanket for a hot sleeper should just be a bag of ice. 00:10:33 Speaker 3: That's not a bad idea, douve right. I guess you would have to buy almost an entirely separate freezer for that, because I feel like that's going to take up a lot of room, or you'd have to just be going to the store constantly. 00:10:48 Speaker 2: I am freezer, frozen broth. 00:10:53 Speaker 3: Here's what's happening in my freezer. We've got an ice cube tray. We have bags and bags of frozen cookies. There's a box of frozen broccoli. 00:11:01 Speaker 4: When you say frozen cookies, you mean cookies that you made and froze after or both. 00:11:08 Speaker 2: Wait. 00:11:08 Speaker 3: I don't even get to well, I assume it's frozen dough. 00:11:11 Speaker 4: Put a tube of frozen dough in your freezer, or you make the dough and then you put it in for later. 00:11:18 Speaker 3: I make the dough, turn it into balls of cookies. You just put them. Of course, it doesn't. 00:11:23 Speaker 2: Wow your cookie babies. 00:11:26 Speaker 3: I am. And then I also have cookies you know, that have been you know, given to me as gifts are sent to me, and I'll put those in as well. So it's just kind of a rotating cookie. It's a problem freezer. I think it's like a freezer of someone with problems. 00:11:41 Speaker 4: And how do you defrost your cookies when it's time to eat them? 00:11:45 Speaker 3: I don't, so the frozen dough will be baked, So no problem that I that. 00:11:50 Speaker 4: I know that if you refrigerator freeze your dough, you're gonna have these beautiful, beautiful cookies once they're baked. 00:11:54 Speaker 3: Yeah, the shape will be perfect, yes, And then the others I just eat frozen. I don't know if that's a problem for people, but I like a cold cookie out of this situation. Yeah, I mean, I guess it's a cookie by cookie basis. You know, I have some like chocolate chip cookies in there. Right now that are frozen, and when I eat them, I'm like, this is just kind of a last resort. It doesn't feel like a true treat, but it's fine. This will do because I just need something sweet in my mouth. 00:12:21 Speaker 2: Try just hitting thirty seconds on the microwave. 00:12:24 Speaker 3: I don't know. 00:12:25 Speaker 4: I feel you did not like that idea, your face tisted into an asterisk. 00:12:34 Speaker 3: I feel like the microwave either with a frozen cookie either goes too far or doesn't do enough, and then I've got kind of like a weird, cold, hot cookie that I'm not It isn't working for me in any way. 00:12:45 Speaker 2: What's your perfect cookie temperature? Warm out of the oven. 00:12:49 Speaker 3: Out of the oven, maybe six minutes out of the oven where. 00:12:52 Speaker 4: It's not you know, I want you could we listen to the John. I just want you to hear his voice. I just want to hear James Spader's voice. Is that possible to lose on this? And the title is Red Fanboys over John Waters and the character is Red Reddington. 00:13:09 Speaker 3: Is red short for something Nope. You're oh dear. 00:13:14 Speaker 5: I am such a fan. 00:13:16 Speaker 3: I thank you, thank your films, you're writing your artwork. I can't believe it's good, right, it's excellent. I mean they did not need to go that. I mean, I mean they've just really built into the character that he's obsessed with John Waters. 00:13:29 Speaker 2: I loved it. 00:13:30 Speaker 3: But that's how I sound. 00:13:32 Speaker 2: Yes, a little. It's a compliment. Believe me, it's a compliment. Think about it. Areiating you know what's his name? Watermelon Sugar? Harry Styles is biggest fan. And they say you sound just like Harry Styles. 00:13:48 Speaker 3: Look it could, I mean there are I'm sure far worse voices you could be compared to. Uh, someone tells you you sound like Gollum or something. I don't know. This feels I'm willing to take it, just like knowing, I'm just going to take it and enjoy it and hopefully at some point profit off of it. Whether it's yes, well, I'll figure out a way. I have to figure out a way to profit off of this. James Spader connection, James reach out. 00:14:16 Speaker 2: Uh, that doesn't work. I've tried it. If it doesn't kill. 00:14:22 Speaker 3: You, This is two redheaded people reaching out to you. James the power here. We've got to get in. 00:14:30 Speaker 2: Touch with the different goals. 00:14:34 Speaker 3: Julie and I both have different ideas of what we're going to do with you, James, get in touch, Julie. What are I mean? What is even happening? 00:14:47 Speaker 2: What are everything? 00:14:51 Speaker 3: What? How is New York feeling? Do you feel like you can get out? Really? 00:14:57 Speaker 2: Really? Uh really guys? 00:15:00 Speaker 4: And you know, uh strange And every day I changed my mind over who I'm going to vote for in the mayor mayoral primaries. 00:15:12 Speaker 2: And I love Maya Wiley. And then this this garbage woman came around. Catherine Garcia. You know about her, she was ahead of the sanitation her. 00:15:26 Speaker 3: Wow, that's incredible. And is she a good candidate? 00:15:31 Speaker 4: She's a she's she's not she's not a psycho. Okay, well maybe she is, but not that I've every day I I learned something terrible and something new that's terrible. 00:15:41 Speaker 2: But uh but otherwise I don't know. 00:15:43 Speaker 4: It's I don't leave my apartment that much, so it's okay, right, yeah, So it's I really make the most out of the rent, I guess, or dull live anywhere else? 00:15:54 Speaker 2: I guess. 00:15:55 Speaker 3: Have you lived outside of New York? 00:15:57 Speaker 4: But really no, I grew up in uh the suburbs of New York, and now I live in New York. So I've gone back and forth to La a bit, but I've never really lived anywhere else. 00:16:08 Speaker 3: Any interest in moving to Los Angeles? No, no, no, unblame you. 00:16:13 Speaker 4: I mean, most of my friends are there, and I'd probably be happier there in that sense that i'd be closer to people that I love. 00:16:22 Speaker 2: But I I don't. I don't know. I just don't see it in the cards. Whether it's because I'd rather be right. 00:16:30 Speaker 4: Than happy, or if it's because my hatred of the business is so pervasive, Like I mean, what I'm doing, even when I'm doing well, actually I still hate it, of course, so I get worried about making a commitment to like an abusive partner. 00:16:50 Speaker 5: Right. 00:16:51 Speaker 3: Well, that's the magic, you know, the magic of the Internet is you can go anywhere and hate the. 00:16:56 Speaker 2: Ternet exactly and you could feel like you're part of it. 00:17:00 Speaker 3: You are. There's really no choice at this point, so it doesn't really matter. 00:17:05 Speaker 2: Yeah, it mean, the Internet just keep getting better every year. 00:17:09 Speaker 3: Oh for me personally, you know, I just love getting on it. I love seeing the things that the Internet brings, you know, various social media. It all just brings me kind of a warm feeling. 00:17:20 Speaker 2: It's better every day. 00:17:22 Speaker 3: Right, it's certainly not giving me cancer. And you know, I feel like ten years from now, the Internet's just going to be a complete utopia at this speed. So yes, I do remember a time when the Internet didn't feel like never ending pain. 00:17:39 Speaker 2: Yeah, sure I do too. 00:17:41 Speaker 4: I remember saying to someone I love the Internet, like ten or twelve years. 00:17:44 Speaker 3: Ago, right, and now it just feels like we're on a downhill slide that has there. 00:17:52 Speaker 4: Is like that Slip and Slide show that they had to sit down because of the diary. 00:17:57 Speaker 2: Explosive diary, of course, Yeah, that one. 00:18:01 Speaker 3: That's a beautiful metaphor for the Internet, I guess. So. I mean everyone's slipping and sliding with explosive diarrhea. 00:18:08 Speaker 2: And Bobby moynihanna is fine. 00:18:12 Speaker 3: Is he hosting that thing? 00:18:13 Speaker 2: Yes, but apparently he's fine. 00:18:16 Speaker 3: Who on the show had the diarrhea? 00:18:18 Speaker 2: Everyone else? 00:18:22 Speaker 3: And was this the sort of situation where someone had diarrhea on the slide and then gave everyone else diarrhea. 00:18:29 Speaker 4: Or it could have not been related to the slide at all, and maybe it was just a stomach bug that happened in the hotel before they even made it to set. But because it was the slipper slide show where you know where all we can do is think about the diarrhea on the slide. 00:18:48 Speaker 3: Of course, my only experience with the slip and slide I think I was six years old. I went over to Kimberly Janny's house. She was twice my size. She had me hold a bungee cord and we did a train down the slide. My tiny child arms let go of the bungee cord smashed her in the back of the head. Next thing I know, she and her family are flying down the road in their truck. She's getting thirty stitches. Oh, it was the last time I was on a slip and slide. 00:19:16 Speaker 2: You harmed her. 00:19:17 Speaker 3: I harmed her. It probably looked like an attempt on her life, but you know it was just my weakness and her stupidity. Let's be honest. 00:19:25 Speaker 2: Was she hot? She seems like she was hot. 00:19:27 Speaker 3: Yeah, she was kind I mean that name is kind of a hot girl, right, Yeah. 00:19:31 Speaker 4: And I think I had one experience on a slip and side and it was with a cool hot girl. 00:19:36 Speaker 3: Of course, I think cool hot girls kind of allowed to slip and slide world until they have explosive diarrhea and then their cachet kind of falls. 00:19:45 Speaker 4: And you want to hear the worst thing that I ever read on the Internet. 00:19:50 Speaker 2: It was a tweet from Patti Stanger. 00:19:54 Speaker 4: Again like ten or twelve years ago, before the internet got like, you know, although maybe it was everybody's then, there were just less people on it. 00:20:02 Speaker 2: And she was talking about like waxing versus shaving versus leaving your private area natural. And at the time she was going out with. 00:20:12 Speaker 4: A guy who let's call him David, and she said something to the effect of, I wax David loves his slip and slide. 00:20:24 Speaker 3: Oh no, oh, yes, that is horrible for both of those people. 00:20:29 Speaker 2: I don't know if it was slip inside like Kitty or whatever like, or if it was just slip and slide, it was slip inside something, or. 00:20:37 Speaker 4: Patti Stanger talking about waxing herself into a Brazilian in those terms. Was one of those things where you just like close your laptop and you throw it out the window. 00:20:50 Speaker 2: Yeah, Patty Stanger is a character. 00:20:54 Speaker 3: But she does some thing, and she's owned it for probably fifteen years at this point. 00:20:58 Speaker 4: He Hitler owned his thing to it doesn't mean it was okay. It didn't license it out. He wasn't a you know, franchise e. I don't know if that's an asset. I know she always tells redheads to dye their hair when she she does. Yes, she hates redheads whenever women go in to and this was I haven't seen her show since it was on Bravo a million years ago, but whenever she would, you. 00:21:22 Speaker 2: Know, it was like glorified madam stuff. 00:21:24 Speaker 4: She'd have these young women come in and looking at date millionaires, and she'd yell at them, but you know, ultimately like they're the ones who are paying her. And she'd organize mixers and she'd tell all these women go get some crest white strips where something that shows your boobs and shows your legs, and get your hair straightened. And and she'd and she'd say to redheads, like dye your hair, or like can you would you be willing to dye your hair because she said that she thought redheads were creepy. 00:22:00 Speaker 3: Like shit, patty eat shit. 00:22:04 Speaker 2: Kill everyone now advocate cannibalism, eat shit. 00:22:11 Speaker 3: This is the thing that is actually for a redhead, the worst advice you can possibly give a red head. A redhead does not look remotely normal with any other color of hair. 00:22:22 Speaker 4: Have you ever tried to go darker or lighter and see and see what happens? 00:22:27 Speaker 3: Absolutely not, I'm not. I mean I'm teetering on. I mean physically, I'm maybe wigs. I have worn wigs, and I always look out of my mind? 00:22:36 Speaker 2: What kind of out of your mind? 00:22:37 Speaker 4: Because I'll say from personal experience, I look a lot better with a dark wig than a blonde wig. 00:22:42 Speaker 2: A blond wig I look like, you know, a specter. 00:22:46 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I look so sick. And a blonde wig I look like I'm ready to give you something, some sort of disease, some kind of like a real rare illness that like came to Earth on an asteroid. Right, sure, yes, uh, I think a darker wig makes more darker for redhead does make more sense. 00:23:08 Speaker 2: Yeah, and it depends on the redhead. 00:23:11 Speaker 4: I guess if you already sort of have like very blonde lashes and eyebrows and are kind. But although blondes make great redheads, I think Christina Hendricks is naturally blonde. 00:23:21 Speaker 3: And yeah, she looks like a natural redhead. 00:23:24 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, absolutely, she's a redhead. 00:23:27 Speaker 3: And then she was kind of exposed. She was in that ever clear video or something as a belong We all were, we. 00:23:34 Speaker 2: All videos at one point. 00:23:37 Speaker 4: By the way, imagine how how how that how great it would be if that's your most embarrassing thing that someone like revealed about you, Like you were like, you know, you were like a hot chicken a rock video once and you had blonde air instead, right, and you're like you're but you were gorgeous. 00:23:51 Speaker 2: In a different way. Oh, got geez, must be nice. 00:23:59 Speaker 3: Oh, Julie thinking, I mean speaking of humiliating things that have happened in people's lives and things that have kind of just made them look bad. Yes, look, you agreed to be on this podcast. Recently. 00:24:12 Speaker 2: I approached you. 00:24:13 Speaker 3: I beg you, you begged. There were multiple phone calls. 00:24:17 Speaker 2: I asked you to be on. I didn't sit around waiting. I was like, I want to be on your podcast. 00:24:23 Speaker 3: More people need to ask to be on podcasts. 00:24:25 Speaker 2: They don't. I want to be special. 00:24:28 Speaker 3: Everyone followed Julie's example. 00:24:30 Speaker 2: Don't you accept? Okay? 00:24:32 Speaker 3: Except this podcast could not be more clear in its rule. I said no gifts. There are four words. There is that right? I said no gifts. One of the you know, the operating word being no that said, so you agreed to be on, and I was so excited. I love Julie. I think she's so funny. We never talked, so let's get into it. And then about a week ago, I get an an envelope in the mail, a purple envelope, and I didn't know what it was. I had no idea what I was looking at. I do host the show, and so you know, you know, you occasionally get mysterious things in the mail, and so I have my boyfriend open them to see, you know, is it anthrax? Is it a bomb? This kind of thing? He told me It was neither of those. He told me he thought it might be a gift from Julie Klausner. It was unclear. There was no name or anything. 00:25:32 Speaker 2: So I do have this. 00:25:34 Speaker 3: Purple envelope here, which I don't know what's happening in here. It's kind of one of these little thin what is this called. It's almost like reverse bubble rap. 00:25:44 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like a little pouch like an Etsy like environmentally friendly kind of on like padded envelope. 00:25:51 Speaker 3: Right, And so I'm just wondering, is is this a gift for me? 00:25:56 Speaker 2: Yes? 00:26:02 Speaker 3: Should I open it? Here on the show. Yes, okay, I'm gonna I'm going to dip into. 00:26:07 Speaker 2: Do you think that the purple is significant? 00:26:11 Speaker 3: I will say, I've never seen this color of envelope before. 00:26:15 Speaker 2: Do you think it connects to the gift? 00:26:18 Speaker 3: I mean, I hope so. But what would that be? Blueberries, grapes? What are we? What things are purple in the world? 00:26:26 Speaker 2: I like that blueberries is your friend? 00:26:32 Speaker 3: Blueberries? Blueberries, they're dark blue. They're a dark blue that can you know, kind of be a purplish. 00:26:41 Speaker 2: Variant depending on if there's masts. 00:26:44 Speaker 3: Well, and I will say, you know, in Willy Wonka, violet eats the gum and they say violet, you're turning not blue? She does say she's eating blueberry. 00:26:54 Speaker 2: Violet, you're turning violet? 00:26:55 Speaker 3: Right, So I feel like I do. 00:26:57 Speaker 2: Have you have the Wonka. 00:26:58 Speaker 3: Cinema on my okay? 00:27:01 Speaker 4: Sure? 00:27:02 Speaker 3: If the world of film is definitely on my side, okay, copy that. So this shows kind of a lack of imagination on my part that I start with blueberries grapes and then shut down. 00:27:13 Speaker 2: You're good, You're good. 00:27:15 Speaker 3: Well, I'm going to dip in and we'll see what's happening. Well, let me ask you, does it have something to do with what's happening in the envelope. Yes, it would be funny if you brought that up and then it didn't. 00:27:26 Speaker 2: I don't know, or it could it could be not funny. 00:27:29 Speaker 5: I'm sure things like that have happened on podcasts where things go to dead ends. 00:27:33 Speaker 2: I can't think of this thing, for example, in my in my case, but certainly not on MyD I've heard of it happening. 00:27:39 Speaker 3: Everything here is just a constant, smooth road of comedy and pleasurable conversation. So I'm going to dip in here see what's happening. Oh, I will say, I do have a before I even now my hand is in the envelope. There is a hint. The return address is from something called batches, oh patches. So unless that's your pseudon hym and that you're operating out of Buena Park, California, I assume this has something to do with batches, oh patches. 00:28:14 Speaker 5: That close, this is from batches, oh patches, So I assume it has something to do with batches, oh patches. 00:28:22 Speaker 3: Now we're giving so much free advertising to Batch's O patches, they've. 00:28:26 Speaker 2: Only done well by me. Unless it reached. 00:28:29 Speaker 4: Actually, I don't know, because if you could reach it and it could be something different, But I don't think it will be. 00:28:33 Speaker 3: I'll just pull a dead leaf or something. Okay, I'm holding something, I'm pulling it out. Oh, it's a famously purple thing. Grimace, Grimace as I mean I immediately my mind is just kind of spinning Grimace as we all know from McDonald's. I don't know if Grimaces arelive or dead at this point. I haven't seen a McDonald's commercial feature in Grimace in decades. 00:29:06 Speaker 5: Grimace died famously. He was like that movie Christine. He shot himself in the head on live television. 00:29:14 Speaker 3: You missed that in the middle of a commercial. Oh god, he was killed in a shootout with the Hamburger. 00:29:21 Speaker 2: Eccohol is going to play him. 00:29:25 Speaker 3: Grimace. Listener, you will recall this kind of the shapeless purple freak that you would see. 00:29:31 Speaker 2: In the if I may Bridger. He's schmoo shaped. 00:29:37 Speaker 3: Shmoo shape? What does that mean? 00:29:39 Speaker 2: Do you know what a schmoo is? 00:29:41 Speaker 3: No? I have no idea. 00:29:42 Speaker 4: From Little Abner, the no comic Have you heard of Little Abner? I don't comic strip from the I want to say, like twenties. 00:29:50 Speaker 3: Or something little I'm gonna look this uparately lit or Lil. 00:29:54 Speaker 2: Abner, and they made a musical based on it. There's a character called a shmoo hm oh, and they're like little they're kind of like a morph. They're like jiggly sort of pear shaped creatures. And the thing about a shmoo is that a shmoo really wants you to eat them. They'll jump into pans for you and they'll be like, eat us, please eat us. They're the ultimate like doormat submissives. 00:30:20 Speaker 3: Does anyone ever eat a shmoo? 00:30:22 Speaker 2: I don't know. 00:30:23 Speaker 4: I would hope so, I would hope so be sad if that's all they wanted. And they know, especially in a musical, you don't want to sing. 00:30:29 Speaker 2: And I want song and not have it pay off and not get eaten. But but Grimace, it's all just to say that I have a theory. Grimaces a shmoo or at least related to to schmoos. And then as far as like, come on, he has a shape. He's like he want to just. 00:30:46 Speaker 3: Call it a pair, and he is kind of a pear shaped or like bell shaped. Yeah, yeah, yeah, potato shaped, which is kind of famous, famously shapeless. Uh, those are the three things I'm now just this is the podcast where I try to name things and kind of burn out around. 00:31:03 Speaker 5: Two or three, and then you get stubborn about the original thought, which is that he's shapeless. 00:31:10 Speaker 3: Just kind of take a while the first place. You know, I was right all along, Grimace. I just want some sort of explanation as to why this was sent to me. 00:31:25 Speaker 2: It's very awfully defensive. Uh wait to say thank you? 00:31:31 Speaker 3: Is this a comment on my body? Is this a Juliet? That's fine if it is, Bobby, Why did you send this to me? I don't know. 00:31:45 Speaker 2: I think Grimace is funny. 00:31:48 Speaker 3: He is. 00:31:49 Speaker 2: He's funny. 00:31:51 Speaker 3: You know, it's weird. I'm now saying he but I always kind of maybe just the fact that I haven't seen him in years, I kind of assumed he was a woman, but I don't think that's right. I think he had a male voice, right, he does. 00:32:02 Speaker 2: And so I don't know how much you know about McDonald land lore. 00:32:08 Speaker 3: Very little I know about Mayor mccheese. I have the Chicken Nugget children. 00:32:12 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, uh and the hamburglar. That's plenty, that's a lot. And then of course the clown himself. 00:32:20 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you don't even mention him because the name that will not be mentioned always there. 00:32:27 Speaker 4: Yeah, Well, Grimace originally was evil. He was called the evil Grimace, and he used to have more arms because he was he was designed as like a foe to Ronald McDonald. 00:32:41 Speaker 2: He was, and then they cut off like four of his arms and they made him a friend. But he originally was called the evil Grimace, and he had six arms, and he used them to steal milkshakes. 00:32:55 Speaker 3: Why else would you have six arms? 00:32:57 Speaker 2: Yes, exactly. 00:32:59 Speaker 4: And then the other thing I can tell you about Grimace is that he has an uncle who shows up once a year around Saint Patrick's Day to help him sell the shamrock shake. And that uncle's name is Uncle O Grimacy. 00:33:11 Speaker 3: Does he look like Grimace? 00:33:12 Speaker 2: Yes? 00:33:14 Speaker 3: Like identical? Or is there something else going on? A mustache? 00:33:16 Speaker 2: What would you guess if you had the guess. 00:33:19 Speaker 3: I would guess a mustache in a Hawaiian shirt. 00:33:21 Speaker 2: Anything else, you know, maybe like like a very to. 00:33:26 Speaker 3: Pay, looking to pay? 00:33:27 Speaker 2: He's green? 00:33:30 Speaker 3: Fully, I was I was keeping on purple. So he's green, But the same shape, green is the same shape, and nothing else is different. 00:33:38 Speaker 4: I think he does excessorise, but I'm not sure if the Hawaiian shirt is part of the ensemble. I like that. I enter Uncle and my googles it's like Uncle a Grimacy again, Julie, and I said, yeah, okay, so this is what he looks like. 00:33:53 Speaker 2: He's holding a oh. 00:33:57 Speaker 3: Irish Yes, he. 00:34:00 Speaker 2: Said, his uncle oh. 00:34:01 Speaker 5: Grimacy, and he's here to promote the shamrock shape. 00:34:04 Speaker 4: What did you. 00:34:04 Speaker 3: Expect I mean when I say Irish, I mean he's almost a hateful depiction of Irish. 00:34:13 Speaker 2: That looks like that hate anyone. 00:34:17 Speaker 3: This is just a lot of assumptions about the Irish people, kind of layered on top of a monster. 00:34:22 Speaker 2: Did you say that he had a mustache? 00:34:25 Speaker 3: I did, and does Yeah. I think so he's got like more fur happening by the mouth than Grimace. 00:34:32 Speaker 2: He rules. 00:34:33 Speaker 3: Does he have an Irish accent? 00:34:35 Speaker 4: I don't know if I've ever heard him speak, but here he is with his nephew. I imagine he does. 00:34:40 Speaker 3: Oh, so he's about twice as wide as Grimace. 00:34:43 Speaker 2: I never noticed that that's true. That's true? 00:34:50 Speaker 3: Is he the only other member of the Grimace family. 00:34:52 Speaker 2: I want to see. 00:34:53 Speaker 4: I feel like I've seen a lady Grimace and going to look up Grimace family McDonald's. Okay, So luckily I am now on the McDonald land wiki. Because he is known for his slow witted demeanor. His most common expression is the word duh before every sentence. 00:35:15 Speaker 2: Oh my, apologies, he had forearms not six? 00:35:19 Speaker 3: Okay? Sure. 00:35:21 Speaker 2: He has an unnamed mom, an unnamed dad, a grandma named Winkie, a great great grandma named Jenny Grimace, and a possible brother named King Ganga, who rules over all Grimaces. In a nineteen ninety nine commercial, Grimace has two. 00:35:35 Speaker 4: Aunts named Milly and Tilly, who Ronald's mistakes for actual aunts. While on a pick that clown, I swear to God. While most family members have been mentioned, most heavily seen and mentioned is Uncle O'grimacy, who comes once a month every year around Saint Patrick's Day in March to bring shamrock shakes. 00:35:54 Speaker 3: That's far too many characters to I mean people bare Grimace barely registers as a character himself. We don't need that. I think you just named eight to other characters. That's more than most television shows can provide. You with. 00:36:08 Speaker 4: I like him and I like his family, And if I had to kill all of the other McDonald land characters. 00:36:19 Speaker 2: And keep one, it would be Grimouth. 00:36:23 Speaker 3: Is Grimmoth still active in any of the commercials? Are any of these characters, That's a good question. 00:36:29 Speaker 4: I mean, I'm sure that they exist, but they're targeted towards audiences that we are not right, I'll just said on this, like, I feel like they're not going to hang up those costumes anytime soon. 00:36:44 Speaker 3: No, you never know when you're gonna have to pull that out of the closet or do a reboot or something, right, get those McNuggets singing again or whatever they were doing. 00:36:53 Speaker 4: Well, yeah, or like keep them in rotation in other countries. Like I feel like Ronald McDonald was like, weren't there there's some like Japanese. 00:37:04 Speaker 2: Imagery going around. 00:37:06 Speaker 3: Of Ronald McDonald's. 00:37:07 Speaker 2: Yes, okay, it was especially horrifying. 00:37:11 Speaker 3: But and then there was the recent I think it was probably in the last ten years, the tried the attempt to revive Hamburglar as that kind of sexy guy. Do you remember this kind of the attempt just crash and burn? 00:37:27 Speaker 2: But were they like but that was our point in an advertising way. I hope not. 00:37:34 Speaker 3: I hope I wasn't duped by some stupid vice. 00:37:38 Speaker 2: It's like, I do the same thing you do. We both write content Like why are you so angry about this? I didn't say anything. We do the same thing. 00:37:49 Speaker 3: Sure, okay, look you have to how you have two homes? 00:37:54 Speaker 2: Why are you yelling at me? Right? 00:37:57 Speaker 3: You're the person who bought a cool fedora for the Hamburgler. Right now. This is the thing about Ronald McDonald that I always found kind of strange. That always threw me was that I at least remember him just having a normal man's voice. 00:38:12 Speaker 4: I say, like a normal like very excited man, like someone like a man that has like too much energy. 00:38:19 Speaker 3: Yeah, but he was never it was never like quite to clown level. 00:38:23 Speaker 2: Which what does a clown sound like to you, hey, boys and giruls like that? 00:38:28 Speaker 3: Exactly? Yes, almost like a horn that's been brought to life. 00:38:31 Speaker 5: Right. 00:38:32 Speaker 4: No, he he just seemed like a really enthusiastic man when he spoke, and your eyes were closed right, Like, there were no doubts that he was a clown. 00:38:45 Speaker 3: And he's the only one that survived. I mean grimaces talking. 00:38:49 Speaker 2: About are you aware of some massacre that I you keep bringing it up as though they're all. 00:38:54 Speaker 3: Dead, Julie, they were all found in a mass grave spot composition. I wish I would love to go to that ranch and find it just populated by various McDonald's lands, kind of just sleeping wherever and going out into the city at night for their little their little things. 00:39:20 Speaker 4: Bertie is the first I think female presenting is character. She's the one who looks like Amelia. 00:39:28 Speaker 3: Earhart right and has pigtails. 00:39:31 Speaker 4: I believe, so, yeah, she's she's got her like Amelia Earhart hat and stuff. 00:39:37 Speaker 3: I wonder were these all coming from the same designer or was it just like there was a well rotating. 00:39:42 Speaker 4: They were sued by h our puff and stuffing off. 00:39:48 Speaker 2: Their whole thing. 00:39:48 Speaker 4: Well, I mean, look at hr puff and Stuff and look at Mayor mccheese is the same. 00:39:53 Speaker 3: Is hr Poppin' stuff? 00:39:54 Speaker 2: Hr puffin Stuff? How old are you, Bridger? Are you twenty six? 00:39:58 Speaker 3: I'm eleven the year old particular? 00:40:07 Speaker 2: Look up hr or I will because I can share my screen, right. So HR puff and Stuff was like a very have you ever seen mister show the course? 00:40:16 Speaker 4: You know the drug a chusets. Yes, yes, that's based on HR puff and stuff like their whole like aesthetic. And they had a couple of shows that were very trippy and they were very like Druggie And they had one called Lidsville featuring Charles Nelson Riley, which was iconic, and it was a character named Witchy Pooh. 00:40:43 Speaker 2: And they were do you see do you see this? 00:40:47 Speaker 4: Oh? 00:40:47 Speaker 3: Yeah, of course, so yeah, that's HR puffins. That character on some level looks like a McDonald's lame character. I mean that's why they were. 00:40:59 Speaker 4: They were dude and I don't want to say the HR puppet and stuff one. But they settled out of court for a lot of money. So in other words, McDonald ended up like cutting a check saying. 00:41:09 Speaker 2: And then yeah saying like let's just like I'll pay you to. 00:41:13 Speaker 4: Not admit that, like we completely ripped off these character designs, right, But. 00:41:19 Speaker 3: Then Puff and stuff obviously kind of uh is now gone and but no one's ever gone. 00:41:27 Speaker 2: Bridger, you seem very like attached to the idea of like, yeah, but they're dead now, so it's not a problem. 00:41:34 Speaker 3: I like, I like endings, Julie clearly, like do you like do you like goodbyes. I love a goodbye. I love just a heart wrenching goodbye. Okay, not me, yeah, this one. I mean, I will say none of these other characters are looking that much like McDonald's on characters, but one of them has basically the head shape of they're. 00:41:57 Speaker 2: Clearly based on that world. Yeah, mayor, and then his his like cop brother, his big brother, big Mac or Big Mac. I think his name is. 00:42:09 Speaker 3: Oh, that was another character. There were two cars, Yeah, there was no. 00:42:13 Speaker 2: One was a mayor and one was a cop andros. Yeah. No, that's no one's favorite character. No one likes that guy. 00:42:24 Speaker 3: There's just so much crime in this world. But then they, I mean, there's a lot. 00:42:27 Speaker 4: Of crime in the McDonald land community. It's Andrew Yang is going to clean it up though. He's going to step right in and take care of business. 00:42:37 Speaker 3: My bed is on this garbage woman. 00:42:39 Speaker 4: What's her name again, garbage woman, Catherine Garcia. 00:42:45 Speaker 3: I'm with you, Kathy. 00:42:48 Speaker 4: Look, I think it's cool for a chick to like yell at a bunch of garbage union people and be tough as fucking hell. I mean, who's like there was I mean that, Yeah, that union has got to be I mean rough, don't go up against them, remember, like, because what's I mean? 00:43:05 Speaker 2: Come on? 00:43:05 Speaker 4: Are there any scarier words than garbage strike? I know, horribly during a summer or during I mean, have you ever been do you ever live here? 00:43:14 Speaker 2: Come out here? 00:43:15 Speaker 3: I did, but not never during a garbage strike. That's one regret. I always wanted to live in New York. Dved in New York. Yeah, I mean, I've dealt with various garbage issues in New York. You know, the rat jumping out of the garbage. 00:43:34 Speaker 2: Can on the corner, or in your apartment. 00:43:37 Speaker 3: In front of my apartment, in front of your surprise, I opened the garbage can. Here comes some rat flying out. I throw the garbage lid, scream, Wait. 00:43:47 Speaker 4: This is this is like your garbage can that you would like put the garbage out every year, and a. 00:43:53 Speaker 2: Rat jumped down, throwing your bag inside of it. 00:43:57 Speaker 3: So I've had I've had a lot of close encounters with rats in both Los Angeles and New York. 00:44:03 Speaker 2: Why aren't they Your palm trees are swarming with them. 00:44:06 Speaker 3: Oh it's horrifying. I had a rat run across What a metaphor? 00:44:10 Speaker 2: What a metaphor? 00:44:13 Speaker 3: These beautiful trees everywhere. 00:44:17 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 00:44:20 Speaker 3: Yeah, don't come to Los Angeles thinking you're not going to see a rat. I've had. You know, I spent forty five minutes inside of Ralph's shaking because I was so terrified of this rat that ran across across my foot. 00:44:30 Speaker 2: Don't go to Ralph's. I had. 00:44:33 Speaker 3: It was my sanctuary from what from the rat. 00:44:37 Speaker 2: Ran across my Oh I thought you said there was a rat in Ralphs. 00:44:40 Speaker 3: Oh, well that may be true. 00:44:42 Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Ilmas understood the story. 00:44:44 Speaker 3: Never seen a rat in the Ralph's. Ralphs has always been a good but outside of the Ralphs on Lebrea Avenue to pop in rats everywhere, So just be aware of that. Planning a vacation. 00:45:02 Speaker 2: Angeles round vacation, stagger it with. 00:45:06 Speaker 3: Your kind of a grocery store enthusiasm. Yeah, well I have I now have this beautiful piece. Yeah. Now, do you think this is a iron on or a so on? 00:45:20 Speaker 4: I don't know. 00:45:21 Speaker 2: You should say, shouldn't it say? 00:45:24 Speaker 3: Patches? Batches? Well that it's perfectly reasonable to be. The back looks mysterious. 00:45:35 Speaker 2: And then if it doesn't work, just get out there. 00:45:38 Speaker 3: You know, there is like a little piece of like what appears to be glue, like loose glue. So that to me says iron, I'm going to try it. What should iron it onto it? 00:45:49 Speaker 2: Are you going to put it on your Girl Scout sash? 00:45:52 Speaker 3: Oh that's not a bad idea. More people should just be wearing sashes. You could. That's a great place to put. 00:45:56 Speaker 4: Your Remember thinking that whenever the Girl Scouts whatever. Someone in my school was going to the Girl Scouts after school and she came in her outfit. 00:46:03 Speaker 2: I was like, Oh, she. 00:46:05 Speaker 4: Looks amazing, And I never wanted to join the Girl Scouts. That was just not even in the It wasn't even in the like a possibility. But their outfits were so cute. 00:46:17 Speaker 3: They're dynamite outfits and. 00:46:19 Speaker 2: Especially terrific green ones and brown ones. 00:46:22 Speaker 3: Right, and the boy Scouts. You know, it's kind of an iconic shirt. But outside of that, it's not that much of an outfit. 00:46:28 Speaker 2: They're Navy, right. The boy Scouts do like Scouts do. 00:46:32 Speaker 3: A Navy Boy Scouts do a like a tan, which is less fashionable. 00:46:36 Speaker 2: Oh sure, like that kid from up. 00:46:39 Speaker 3: Right, right right, I prefer the Navy boy Scout thing. But there was no like Matt well, actually, I think there were matching shorts, but that was never a required part of the outfit. 00:46:49 Speaker 2: What what, what are you supposed to do? Wear them with. 00:46:53 Speaker 3: Jeans, ill fitting jeans. That's my entire experience, a boy Scout shirt and ill fitting. 00:47:01 Speaker 2: Wait, you're not supposed to You're not required to wear them with magic short. What's the point? 00:47:05 Speaker 3: No, no, no, I think the point is that they didn't care and the style and fashion were always last priority with the Boy Scouts and look where it got them. Right, They're done as far as I know, and that's why. 00:47:19 Speaker 4: I think there's the only reason why the attention to fashion. I think that's the only reason why they're at a business. Meanwhile, the Catholic Church is more jewelry than I've ever seen in my life. 00:47:32 Speaker 3: That's so true. 00:47:33 Speaker 2: I've never seen men wearing more jewelry than in the Catholic Church. 00:47:36 Speaker 3: It is if you're obscene, it is obscene. Jewelry, beautiful hats, gorgeous robes. 00:47:44 Speaker 4: They, I mean, everything Liberagi ever did was influenced by the Catholic Church. 00:47:53 Speaker 3: Julie, I want to play a game? Can we play a game? 00:47:55 Speaker 2: I wish we would? 00:47:56 Speaker 3: Do you want to play a game called Gift or a Curse, or a game called Gift Master. I'll tell you how it works once we begin playing. You choose, let's play Gift or a Curse. I need a number between one and ten from you. 00:48:08 Speaker 2: Seven. 00:48:09 Speaker 3: Okay, I have to do some light calculating right now. I want you to promote, recommend, say whatever's on your mind. I'll be right back. 00:48:17 Speaker 4: Okay, I am going to promote. Well, the Criterion app is very good. And I also think there's a lot of kittens right now that you could adopt or foster based on one of my Instagram counts that I follow. So go adopt the kitten or probably adopt to so they could play with each other, because if you get one kitten and there's not a second kitten, then you're the kitten. 00:48:48 Speaker 2: I don't have a TV show on right. 00:48:50 Speaker 4: Now, which is unjust criminal, so I'm not gonna plug anyone else's TV show. 00:48:59 Speaker 2: But I did. 00:48:59 Speaker 4: I did Create Difficult People, and it's still on Hulu, so you should watch that and then commiserate with me about how unfair the world. 00:49:08 Speaker 5: Is and. 00:49:11 Speaker 2: What else. Are you ready? 00:49:13 Speaker 3: Truly, I'm ready, But I was just kind of letting you go no, please, don't never do that. 00:49:18 Speaker 2: Never do that? 00:49:19 Speaker 3: What are you? Well, I've done it. The seal's broken, so now I'll just do it for the rest of our lives. 00:49:24 Speaker 1: No, no, no, no. 00:49:25 Speaker 3: Did you promote your podcast Double Threat? 00:49:29 Speaker 2: It's called Double Threat. 00:49:30 Speaker 4: Me and Tom Sharpling make each other laugh every week, so come and subscribe to it. 00:49:34 Speaker 2: Please. 00:49:34 Speaker 3: That's a great podcasts Okay, we have fun. 00:49:36 Speaker 2: It's funny and fun. 00:49:38 Speaker 3: This is how this game works. It's very easy. Well, actually it's not very easy, but the rules are simple to understand. That's what I'll say. I'm going to name three things, and you're going to tell me if there're a gift or a curse and why there are correct answers. So there's a chance you just you know, kind of burn out to flop fail. Uh, And that's fine if you're fine with that. I'm going to say the first thing, this is a listener suggestion from someone named Brianna. Gift or a curse, mowing the lawn, curse. 00:50:14 Speaker 2: Why the sun. 00:50:20 Speaker 5: Lawn, lawn is always outside, always outside, sun is always outside. 00:50:26 Speaker 3: Bad news bears, Julie, have you ever mowed a lawn? No? Okay, Well, there's the reason you're totally incorrect here. Really, mowing the lawn is absolutely a gift. It's delightful, it's very relaxing. It's kind of the outdoors vacuuming. You know, you put in some music, obviously, put on some sunscreen. V I love vacuuming. Oh, well, documented I love to vacuum the house. 00:50:55 Speaker 4: Okay, I like, actually I have like four vacuums, and I do use them frequently. But I don't know if i'd say I love vacuuming. 00:51:03 Speaker 3: I think out of all of the household chores, it's the probably the most simple and most satisfying where you're seeing results almost immediately. 00:51:09 Speaker 2: Yeah, I could see that. 00:51:10 Speaker 3: Yeah, and you know you're going to clean something. And that's kind of the same thing with mowing lawn the lawn. You get out there, you get to smell the cut grass, you get to see progress. The lawnmarer kind of tugs you along as you walk around the lawn. 00:51:26 Speaker 2: Like shaving. Do you like shaving? 00:51:28 Speaker 3: I don't like shaving. Okay, you know, shaving is more of kind of a I wish that shaving were an optional more of an optional thing. But uh, yeah, mowing the lawn I don't want anyone to confuse mowing the lawn with shaving. 00:51:43 Speaker 2: Oh, very different. 00:51:44 Speaker 4: Never would. 00:51:46 Speaker 2: I'm sorry I should never have made that analogy. 00:51:49 Speaker 3: Appreciate an apology. I really appreciate an apology, especially after you've kind of just, you know, whifted on this first one with mowing a lawn. Okay, let's move on and see. You know there's there's some hurt feelings here. Obviously it's fine. This is my own suggestion. Gift or a curse? Shack shuka? Who's that the food dish? 00:52:18 Speaker 2: Oh sha shushka, the thing with the egg on top. 00:52:21 Speaker 3: Of it and the tomato and the garlic and the herbs. 00:52:27 Speaker 4: I don't eat eggs, but when I did, I liked it fine, So I wouldn't say it's a curse. 00:52:35 Speaker 2: But I also I feel like I feel like there's it could be better. 00:52:43 Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I need an answer. Gift or a curse? 00:52:47 Speaker 2: A curse. 00:52:49 Speaker 3: Surely this is gonna be the last time we speak. This is the end of our relations. Thatuka delicious delicious for breakfast. 00:53:01 Speaker 2: Crack this game, okay, I feel like I know how to play this game. 00:53:04 Speaker 3: Now, we'll see. I'm not going to have you on this saying that this is just a fine dish. I think it's so delicious, and not nearly enough restaurants offer it. 00:53:13 Speaker 2: So they come with toast points or like bread that it does well, then that's good. 00:53:19 Speaker 3: Do you like a stew? Do you like like a I think you would like. I mean, but you don't like egg, and I think that is kind of I can't. 00:53:26 Speaker 2: Eat eggs, but I will stop up any tomato anything with bread always. 00:53:31 Speaker 3: If you like to sop tomato sauce with bread, you're going to love this dish. And you can get it without an egg. I mean it's definitely more of a tomato stew at that, but I would eat it any day of the week. 00:53:43 Speaker 4: I will make a parody song to hate Bushes Babushka about it, and I will eat it with bread and no egg, and then you'll talk to me again and you'll be my best friend. 00:53:56 Speaker 3: Do you like feta cheese? 00:53:58 Speaker 2: I don't eat cheese either. 00:54:00 Speaker 3: Oh okay, so this is but the tomato again, there's still a gift. You're good to go with this dish finally, So you've gotten zero so far. I mean kind of embarrassing for both of us in different ways. 00:54:14 Speaker 2: You don't seem embarrassed. 00:54:16 Speaker 3: I'm humiliated. I am you know my heart is aching right now. But this is another listener suggestion. Someone named Chloe has written in and suggested gift or a curse a member of the wedding party singing during the ceremony. 00:54:35 Speaker 2: You can't disagree with me here. You can't disagree with me. There's no way you can disagree with me. I can't bear the note that you disagree with me. 00:54:44 Speaker 3: Okay, I need I need your argument for why this is a curse. 00:54:50 Speaker 2: Are the people getting married straight? 00:54:53 Speaker 3: That's up to you. That's really up to you. 00:54:55 Speaker 2: In this game, it's a curse. 00:54:58 Speaker 4: Unless your friend is Wise of Manelli and she's or Kim Cattrall and she's scatting or something. Oh, then it's not it's not cute. It's it makes it makes the friend the center of attention. And that's not what weddings or funerals are about. You have to like go there ready to like not pull focus. That's the that's what you're that's what you're supposed to do. 00:55:24 Speaker 3: Trulie, you have lost the game in the biggest way possible. 00:55:29 Speaker 2: How are you a human? Are you defending a friend singing at someone's wedding. That's the worst thing that could ever happen if I am hold that, hold on, let me balk this bag. If they're really bad, it might be funny. 00:55:47 Speaker 3: That was your Look now you're on the path, I think truly, no matter what they're if someone has decided they're going to sing during someone's wedding ceremony, that's a bad idea. And for me as a wedding goer, Okay, I get free. I get to just think what it could possibly be going through this person's mind. 00:56:05 Speaker 2: Got your camp hat on. I like it and I understand. Noted, is this game always just gift gift gift? Is that the answers? 00:56:14 Speaker 3: That should be the new trade? 00:56:15 Speaker 4: It's not. 00:56:16 Speaker 2: Okay, I'll play again. I think I know a gift all of them. And then mad at you? 00:56:26 Speaker 3: Well, you failed big time and you know, listeners are probably going to be outraged, and uh, you know, you've revealed a lot about yourself. That's all I'm going to say. Okay, that's all I'm going to say here. But I feel like we've all learned some things and that kind of thing, and so it was ultimately valuable. 00:56:43 Speaker 2: That was a good wrap up of what just happened. 00:56:47 Speaker 3: Would you help me answer a listener question. Yes, this is the part of the podcast called I Said No Emails people right into I Said No Gifts at gmail dot com. Every one of them has got some issue at hand, and you know, they've decided to write into my podcast of all things, for help and they're getting world class advice. So let's answer one of these things. Let's pop in here and seem not too long, not too sure. We're looking for a nice solid here's something. Okay, this is actually going back to something we were just talking slightly. What we were just talking about this is, dear gift experts. I'm getting married next year and I'm going to have four bridesmaids in my wedding party. My sister is my maid of honor, and my best girlfriends are the other three bridesmaids. I'm currently looking for an appropriate gift to give each of them and thank them for being in my wedding and for just being some of my very favorite people. I'm not trying to spend a ton, since my wedding will be quite costly, and truth be told, I'm not exactly rolling in the dough to begin with, Please help this quite anxious bride to be figure out what to give her miniature coven to show my love and appreciation, love Elena, I love the Okay, this this is very I'll read it. I appreciate when someone says I love the podcast. Thank you, Okay, thank you Elena. This so truly we're looking for bridesmaids gifts. 00:58:11 Speaker 2: Cameos category ken Bone? What cameos from ken Bone? I got one. 00:58:19 Speaker 3: I give him money, he. 00:58:21 Speaker 2: Do give him money. I gave him money for my friend Jason. I said, it's his birthday and his favorite and his horse, Rusty died, and I want you to say Rusty says happy birthday from horse heaven? 00:58:31 Speaker 3: And he did. 00:58:32 Speaker 2: And it was like, why is he an evil person? Is he bad? 00:58:37 Speaker 3: I think he's just a well documented he'll do literally whatever he will. 00:58:41 Speaker 4: Clearly it wasn't I it caused. Look, it's preated joy and it had no carbon footprint. 00:58:52 Speaker 3: I feel like he later, I feel like there was some darkness about ken Bone, or he was just kind of an asshole or something. 00:58:57 Speaker 4: I'm sure he's an asshole, But as long as the money isn't going like is it going directly to the Westborough Baptist Church or something. 00:59:03 Speaker 3: It probably is I feel like that much money. 00:59:06 Speaker 2: So find another goofball on on cameo that you can search by price. 00:59:12 Speaker 3: I think, oh, I didn't know you could do by price, so you can really just get some real low rent. They're not. 00:59:19 Speaker 2: But here's the thing, like low rent is in the eye of beholder, Like it's all about what your friend would think is funny. 00:59:25 Speaker 3: Right, So a different message for each member of this bridesmaid group. Set a wedding party, I guess is a more accurate way of calling this thing. 00:59:37 Speaker 4: Yes, find someone that you think your friend would think would be funny and have them and have a celebrity thank them, and then also say some sort of like you know, one detail or specific thing about that friend that you share. 00:59:50 Speaker 3: Elena, I think that that's a nice you know that really can according to your budget. I'm also going to say, Elena, you know, pump the brakes on the wedding spend expenditures. 01:00:00 Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, it's just a party. It's like, how much money would you spend on a party? 01:00:05 Speaker 3: Right? Fifty bucks? Fifty bucks just for lube, Buy a pizza and throw it on a table. 01:00:15 Speaker 2: Fifty bucks of a lube and unlock the front door. 01:00:20 Speaker 3: Oh you know, we've solved all kinds of problems for you, and your bridesmaids are going to be thrilled with their non Ken Bone cameos. I'm asking you do not give Ken Bone any more money. We've got to push him out of society into the works. I don't want to hear his name ever again. Sorry, Julie. We did an excellent job there. You were just right out of the gate. You had a recommendation that needed some notes. We noted it, We got it into a place that felt appropriate as a gift. 01:00:54 Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, no, I like this. 01:00:57 Speaker 4: Listen in my mind, you're James Bader and secretary being like bend over and I'm like, okay, mine, I'll be, I'm I'm there. 01:01:06 Speaker 3: If nothing else, I'm glad I was able to do that for you. And it's a nice exchange. Now I have this beautiful Grimace patch, yes, which I will you know, kind of fret over which clothing item might end up. 01:01:20 Speaker 4: Put it on a bag or like a laptop case if you don't want to be like committal to your clothing or anything. 01:01:26 Speaker 3: Yeah, right, A nice tote bag. That's not a bad idea. That's what I'm going to do. 01:01:32 Speaker 2: Thank you for being here, thank you for having me. 01:01:34 Speaker 3: It's such a wonderful time with you. Likewise, and listener, do whatever you want. It's again as usual. Now this is your life and you get to do what you want. And that's kind of exciting and scary. So don't make bad choices. Do something wholesome today. Why not do something wholesome. We could all try something wholesome. Take care, bye bye. I said, No Gifts is an exactly right production. It's produced and engineered by our dear friend Annalise Nelson, and the theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann. You must follow the show on Instagram at I said No Gifts. That's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. You have to see the gifts. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher or wherever you found me. And why not leave a review while you're there. It's really the least you could do considering everything I do for you. And if you're interested in advertising on the show, go to midrool dot com slash ads. 01:02:46 Speaker 1: He Liev, did you hear fun a man myself perfectly clear. But you're a guest to Merha, come to me empty? And I said, no, guest, your own presence is presents enough. I already had too much stuff, So how do you dare to surbey me?