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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Good Stuff. I'm Jacob Schick and I'm

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Speaker 1: joined by my co host and wife, Ashley Shick.

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Speaker 2: Jake is a third generation combat Marine and I'm a

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Speaker 2: gold Star granddaughter. And we work together to serve military veterans,

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Speaker 2: first responders, frontline healthcare workers, and their families with mental

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Speaker 2: and emotional wellness through traditional and non traditional therapy. At

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Speaker 2: One Tribe Foundation.

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Speaker 1: We believe everyone has a story to tell, not only

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Speaker 1: about the peaks, but also the valleys they've been through

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Speaker 1: to get them to where they are today.

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Speaker 2: Each week, we invite a guest to tell us their story,

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Speaker 2: to share with us the lessons they've learned that shaped

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Speaker 2: who they are and what they're doing to pay it

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Speaker 2: forward and give back.

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Speaker 1: Our mission with this show is to dig deep into

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Speaker 1: our guest's journey so that we can celebrate the hope

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Speaker 1: and inspiration their story has to offer.

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Speaker 2: We're thrilled you're joining us again.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Good Stuff.

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Speaker 2: Our guest today is our very dear friend k Shan Coffee.

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Speaker 2: He and Jacob actually known each other for over a

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Speaker 2: decade and originally met in the warrior space, which is

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Speaker 2: a term we used to refer to the unofficial network

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Speaker 2: of support systems for veterans. Kishan's a Navy veteran himself,

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Speaker 2: an executive at a major corporation, and an incredible family man.

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Speaker 1: When Kishan and I originally met, we were both in

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Speaker 1: a very different place in our lives, especially mentally and emotionally.

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Speaker 1: He's here to share his story of growing up in

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Speaker 1: an army family and enlisting self admittedly for selfish reasons.

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Speaker 1: He came face to face a personal tragedy on the

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Speaker 1: other side of the world, struggled greatly for years, and

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Speaker 1: finally found the resources and human connection to allow him

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Speaker 1: to become the many is today. Keep in mind Keishan's

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Speaker 1: a sailor and I'm a marine. The language does get

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Speaker 1: a little salty, but trust.

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Speaker 2: Me, you're going to want to stick around for this one.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much for joining us. We're so excited

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Speaker 2: you're here with us on the good stuff, and we're

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Speaker 2: really excited to dig in and tell your story. I

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Speaker 2: know you two have known each other for quite a while.

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Speaker 2: How did you originally meet?

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Speaker 3: I met Shick. I want to say it was carried

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Speaker 3: a load.

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Speaker 4: Twenty twelve, there was a marine by the name of

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Speaker 4: Mike Rowles who invited me out to carry the Load.

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Speaker 4: And I want to say it was about two o'clock

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Speaker 4: in the morning. We were at the turn about. He

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Speaker 4: was like, hey, you got to meet this other marine

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Speaker 4: named Shiic and so I remember walking up to Shake

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Speaker 4: saying hey, trying to introduce and Shick was very short

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Speaker 4: with his words, like look, bro, you're out here at

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Speaker 4: two am humping. It says a lot about you already,

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Speaker 4: and so thank you for being here. And that's how

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Speaker 4: I met Shike's ten words ten words.

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Speaker 1: Good flong bond.

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Speaker 2: So Carry the Load is an incredible organization and event

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Speaker 2: that we take part in. This is your twelfth year.

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Speaker 2: I think doing it my tenth and it was founded

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Speaker 2: to put the meaning back into Memorial Day for individuals

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Speaker 2: that want to come out and participate. And when when

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Speaker 2: Keishan says humping, he means walking.

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Speaker 1: Man, the Marines call it humping, and then everybody's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I can't maybe he says no, It's just it's basically

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Speaker 1: were forced walking.

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Speaker 2: And the idea is that you're you know, you're embracing

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Speaker 2: the suck, you're going out there, you're walking, You're using

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Speaker 2: your body to honor and remember and carry those that

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Speaker 2: paid the ultimate sacrifice and can no longer carry it

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Speaker 2: for us. They've already given their all, and so now

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Speaker 2: it's our turn to honor them and remember them. And

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Speaker 2: it's an incredible event nationwide now and the demons sweat

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Speaker 2: out the demons exactly. That's what really beneficial for so

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Speaker 2: many guys and gals who have served, and family members

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Speaker 2: who have lost someone in service to our great country.

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Speaker 2: Been a really really impactful organization and cause an event

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Speaker 2: for our family doesn't surprise me. That's where the two

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Speaker 2: of you met. You told how you got involved, but

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Speaker 2: how did you find that first evolution of going out

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Speaker 2: there and humping.

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Speaker 4: It was one of those things you have in your

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Speaker 4: mind set, like, yo, this is going to be fun,

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Speaker 4: it's going to be raw, like everybody's hyping it up

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Speaker 4: until you get to the two am walk and then

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Speaker 4: you start to see that people start to do indo away.

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Speaker 4: So then you start a questioning like what were you

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Speaker 4: really out here for? Was it for you know, the sights,

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Speaker 4: the shows, the people, the food, just the you know,

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Speaker 4: the fun time to get together or like I think

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Speaker 4: you really start to find the real soul crushers at

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Speaker 4: three am in the morning that are just head down,

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Speaker 4: like you said, cleansing their soul, thinking about the ones

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Speaker 4: they lost overseas, and you know those are still fighting,

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Speaker 4: you know, the wars, and so it was a great

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Speaker 4: It was just a great time. Just just enjoyed it.

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Speaker 1: I've got shells I leave lighter every year, Yeah, for sure,

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Speaker 1: you know. And people ask every year, is that's carry

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Speaker 1: the little big thing? Who are you carrying? And uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, actually see me say this a lot and

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Speaker 1: people ask you who you caring and I just say

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Speaker 1: all of them. Yeah, I'm never gonna mention one name. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: carrying all of them. Yeah, And that's our duty, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean, especially ours, Yes, who've done the

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Speaker 1: cloth of the nation. It's our job to be the

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Speaker 1: gatekeepers at their legacy, absolutely till our dying day.

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Speaker 2: And you have a lot to draw from. You've got

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Speaker 2: a family of lifelong service.

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Speaker 4: Yes I do. My grandfather was United States Navy. My

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Speaker 4: father was a army It's a fun story kind of

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Speaker 4: I got into the navy.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 4: My dad was three boys. You know, he wanted one

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Speaker 4: of us to at least go to the to the army.

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Speaker 4: And so my brother was a great lobbyist. He was like, look, man,

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Speaker 4: don't go to the Army. You're gonna get stationed somewhere shitty.

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Speaker 4: It's not where you want to be. You're gonna want

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Speaker 4: to go to the Navy. You'll see the world x

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Speaker 4: y Z. So I never forget telling my Dad's like, hey, Dad,

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Speaker 4: I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you know I'm going

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Speaker 4: to the Navy, you know, just a look. He wasn't disappointed,

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Speaker 4: but you can tell there was that. All right, at

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Speaker 4: least you're still going to go serve Roger that But

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Speaker 4: it's a thing. Yeah, he wanted me to do it.

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Speaker 1: Now as a sailor, it's a thing.

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Speaker 4: It is, it is, it really is. But my brothers

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Speaker 4: were Navy, so I come from a military family.

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Speaker 2: And what was it like growing up in that household?

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Speaker 4: Fun? It was just fun and structured and disciplined. You know,

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Speaker 4: growing up you kind of hate it. But being a

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Speaker 4: father now, I now understand why I need my daughter

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Speaker 4: at six thirty to listen to me and put on

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Speaker 4: her underwear before.

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Speaker 3: We get out the door. Didn't understand it then, but

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Speaker 3: I do now.

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Speaker 4: But growing up with siblings and just my dad being

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Speaker 4: in the military, it was just it was a journey

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Speaker 4: of experience. I grew up in a very diverse city

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Speaker 4: body name of Colleen, Texas, Fort Hoods, the military installation there,

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Speaker 4: and so you know, at that at a very young age,

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Speaker 4: I was exposed at different ethnic groups, all all kinds

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Speaker 4: of people. So you know, you kind of learned to

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Speaker 4: accept other people at a very early age. And so

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Speaker 4: I think that was one thing that I truly cherished

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Speaker 4: about being in the military. You know, just benefits, It's

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Speaker 4: truly beneficial. So when I got to the military, I

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Speaker 4: wasn't unaccustomed to, you know, seeing people at that point

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Speaker 4: at that point, and that's make sure how you're raised

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Speaker 4: because your dad serious, that's set. I credit my grandfather

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Speaker 4: the same thing, you know, And you know, I've talked

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Speaker 4: about this so many times growing up in Louisiana before

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Speaker 4: I came here, and my dad very strict about content

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Speaker 4: of character.

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Speaker 1: And you know, that's still how I roll. Like, I

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Speaker 1: believe everybody like you suck or you don't. There's no

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Speaker 1: great area. And that's regardless of the pigmentation in your skin. Absolutely,

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Speaker 1: you know, But I credit my grandpa for that. And

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Speaker 1: the Marine cords, the one that changed his views. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: well not you will.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely Is that where you kind of developed your sense

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Speaker 2: of wanting to serve your country or did you always

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Speaker 2: have this overwhelming desire to go serve your country?

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Speaker 4: Well, I guess if it really unpacking here, I won't

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Speaker 4: say I ever truly had a very hard sense to

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Speaker 4: serve my country in the very beginning, Like my dad served,

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Speaker 4: I knew what it meant to, you know, respect the flag,

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Speaker 4: respect the country. Like I understood that then two thousand

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Speaker 4: and six, I think, right before the downturn was starting

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Speaker 4: to happen, Like I was living in Dallas, I was

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Speaker 4: sleeping on my floor. I was at a junction in

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Speaker 4: my life where it's like, look, I got to figure

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Speaker 4: out something because my dad was like, look, I'm not

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Speaker 4: taking out no more student loans for.

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Speaker 3: You to go to Baylor of course, smart man, smart man.

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Speaker 4: Which I just paid that student loan off not too

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Speaker 4: long ago, Gratua. That was a big step, big step,

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Speaker 4: but no, but it was like a I gotta find

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Speaker 4: something to do with my life. And my dad always

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Speaker 4: told me like, hey, the military is something where you

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Speaker 4: can get out from under where you're at right now,

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Speaker 4: you know, just going to the military and so that's

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Speaker 4: where I just started doing my due diligence and how

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Speaker 4: I kind of involved and kind of got into the

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Speaker 4: Navy it's elf. But I never truly understood until I

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Speaker 4: got into the Navy what it was like to have

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Speaker 4: a true appreciation for love for country. Like before I

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Speaker 4: always saw the commercials like, Oh, I'm gonna be in

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Speaker 4: a white suit standing on the side of aircraft carry

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Speaker 4: going into a foreign country, like everybody's gonna love me.

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Speaker 1: Like I had.

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Speaker 4: This this weird epiphany of what I thought military service was,

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Speaker 4: like just getting out, getting drunk, getting your education, Like

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Speaker 4: that's what I thought the military was. But it wasn't

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Speaker 4: until like my first duty station in Quantico, where I

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Speaker 4: was stationed with Marines, Like I start to understand, like

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Speaker 4: there's an undercurrent of love and appreciation in the military,

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Speaker 4: especially amongst your brothers and sisters that you just don't

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Speaker 4: get seeing a commercial, playing a video game, hearing the stories.

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Speaker 3: You've got to go through it.

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Speaker 4: And that's where I had a different appreciation of love

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Speaker 4: of country because now my heart earned, sweat, blood and

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Speaker 4: tears are now invested into the earth soil to where

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Speaker 4: I now is like I love.

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Speaker 1: It completely changes what you see and you look at

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Speaker 1: those stores on the short.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Absolutely, I have a different appreciation when I say to

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Speaker 4: pledgere of the llegiance to when you know second grade,

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Speaker 4: you're doing it because it's part of school routine, stand up,

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Speaker 4: do it, you know. But when I do it now.

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Speaker 3: It's like get you chills. It's like me, I know

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Speaker 3: what it means and why I'm doing it. You figure

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Speaker 3: out your why.

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Speaker 1: As you as you know, every time I speak after

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Speaker 1: we here in national anthem, and I always say the

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Speaker 1: same thing as soon as I walk up, and I

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Speaker 1: always say, if you didn't get chills, you're not doing

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Speaker 1: it right now.

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Speaker 2: And I'm usually in tears. Yeah, I mean every time

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Speaker 2: I can't do that song, let's step back real quickly.

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Speaker 2: So you didn't know at a young age, I'm going

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Speaker 2: to serve my country. You kind of had other goals.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I had other goals.

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Speaker 4: Like I wanted to get a degree in like sports management,

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Speaker 4: and like I just wanted to go to the corporate world.

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Speaker 4: Like you know, I grew up in a very small city.

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Speaker 4: I wanted to go into like a big city, and

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Speaker 4: so I kind of had that dream of doing something different. Initially,

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Speaker 4: I didn't have that reserve, like I'm gonna serve my country,

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Speaker 4: like I know some of my friends had so tell.

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Speaker 2: Us about you got into the Navy.

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Speaker 4: The what Yeah, So going into the Navy was a

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Speaker 4: fun experience. My brother told me like, whatever you do,

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Speaker 4: don't trust a recruiter, and I think any person.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: And the sad part about it, my recruiter I won't

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Speaker 4: say his name, was actually a high school friend of

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Speaker 4: my brothers. And so I was like, hey, I want

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Speaker 4: to get into a role or job where all I

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Speaker 4: do is nothing like I was very selfish and I

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Speaker 4: want to get my education.

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Speaker 3: That's all I want to do. I just want to

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Speaker 3: see the world get me education. Xyz.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate your accountability, bro. I don't know how big

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Speaker 1: I am on that because you've seen me call people

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Speaker 1: out in front of God and everybody about that and

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Speaker 1: they're like, yo, no, I just wanted to be a

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Speaker 1: hard charger. And it's like, so when did you start

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Speaker 1: your first class a month after I landed it? And

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Speaker 1: it's like, come on, man.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I just have my own selfish goals that I

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Speaker 4: wanted to do and have Uncle Sam funded. And so

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Speaker 4: he was like, all right, coffee, then you should be

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Speaker 4: an RP. I was like, well, what it's an RP.

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Speaker 4: He was like, oh, it's a religious program specialist and

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Speaker 4: you just work with a chaplain at a chapel. It's

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Speaker 4: the chill ist, laid back job you will ever have.

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Speaker 4: And then maybe all lives, all lies, all lies from

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Speaker 4: beginning to end. And so I was like, Roger, that

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Speaker 4: sign me up. You know, I'm going around telling people, Oh, yeah,

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Speaker 4: I'm being an RP. I'm being an RP.

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Speaker 1: Like you grew up religious to right. So it was

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Speaker 1: like easy transitions.

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Speaker 4: He transition, I'll be preaching the people in the field,

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Speaker 4: say the lives, like, oh, this is going.

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Speaker 3: To be great.

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Speaker 2: You'll want people y'all need Jesus. So what are the

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Speaker 2: duties of an RP.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so, so as an RP, we helped the chaplain

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Speaker 4: manage the chapel, the base chapels, and so with some

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Speaker 4: of our duties, we do coordinate funerals with local funeral homes.

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Speaker 4: We do weddings as well, and christienings and baptisms. You know,

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Speaker 4: some of the downsides about being an RP is, you know,

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Speaker 4: we have to do last rights for service individuals. So

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Speaker 4: whether they're KIA or whether we're going to an hospital,

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Speaker 4: we help the chaplain provide last rights. And then we

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Speaker 4: also do notifications at certain times. So if someone I.

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Speaker 1: Was going to ask that, I didn't know if y'all

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Speaker 1: had to do that or not.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we do notifications as well, and so every everything's

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Speaker 4: just but yeah, it's kind of an all encompassing there's

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Speaker 4: a lot a lot of parameters, right, And so I

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Speaker 4: get to boot camp and they were like, oh, you're

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Speaker 4: going to be an RP, because I guess you know,

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Speaker 4: rps aren't that popular in the Navy, and so I

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Speaker 4: was like, yeah, I'm going to be an RP. And

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Speaker 4: so I go through boot camp and I get sent

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Speaker 4: to Meridian, Mississippi, and Meridian, Mississippi is where I go

287
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Speaker 4: to my aid school for RP.

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Speaker 3: And I'll never forget.

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Speaker 4: We had this first class petty officer walk out and

290
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Speaker 4: say okay, because we did our dream sheets and then

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Speaker 4: the Navy dream sheets is basically where do you want

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Speaker 4: your first duty station to be? So I picked Norfolk

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Speaker 4: Aircraft Carrier, Aircraft Carrier, aircraft carrier, Like that's exactly what

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Speaker 4: I picked. I was like, there's no way they can

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Speaker 4: mess this up. Nobody wants to go to Norfolk. I

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Speaker 4: don't know if you ever visit Norfolk. Yeah, yeah, nobody

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Speaker 4: wants to go to Norfolk. Like I was like Roger

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Speaker 4: that this is where I want to go. He comes

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Speaker 4: back and says, coffee camp. You all going to Quantico Virginia.

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Speaker 3: I was like what.

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Speaker 4: I literally thought Quantico was in another country. I've never

302
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Speaker 4: heard of it. Like that was my first time ever

303
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Speaker 4: hearing a Quantico and I was like, okay, it's like, oh,

304
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Speaker 4: by the way, you go on green Side. I was

305
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Speaker 4: like green Side? What is green Side? He was like,

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00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:07,160
Speaker 4: your recruited didn't tell you. I was like, he was like, yeah,

307
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Speaker 4: you're going to go be stationed with the Marines. I

308
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Speaker 4: was like, but what does that entail? It's like, oh,

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Speaker 4: you're going to camp. Let you and go through boot

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Speaker 4: camp again. I was like, you gotta be shitting me.

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Speaker 4: And so like that was like a moment of deflation

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Speaker 4: green weening. Wow, that's what we call that.

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Speaker 1: Explain to us what your thoughts were when you showed

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Speaker 1: up and got a taste of that.

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Speaker 3: Oh man, that was a rude awakenment. So I'll never forget.

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Speaker 4: Like, you know, those videos you see if like chesty

317
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Speaker 4: and him like yelling at people with the drill sergeant

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Speaker 4: hats and the greens or the bravos I think they

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Speaker 4: had on.

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Speaker 3: I'm never forget they're like, get the fuck off the boss.

321
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Speaker 3: Wait a minute, the big white buses. The big white

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Speaker 3: bus is not what I signed up for.

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Speaker 4: And I remember we got on the parade deck like

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Speaker 4: Mustard was every morning at zero four hundred, So we

325
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Speaker 4: had to be up at zero three forty five. No,

326
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Speaker 4: we had to be on deck at zero three five.

327
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Speaker 4: Said late we were looking that we had to be

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Speaker 4: on decade zero three forty five. Our barracks didn't have

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Speaker 4: any air conditioning. We lucked out because one of the

330
00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:08,600
Speaker 4: guys going through uncle was like a senator, so he

331
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Speaker 4: called his uncle. Three months later, after our class graduated,

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00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:14,920
Speaker 4: all the bears got a c's so appreciate that guy.

333
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:19,400
Speaker 4: That's where the weakness started, the softness began. There's this

334
00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,800
Speaker 4: little city they kind of have mocked up to like

335
00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:24,000
Speaker 4: give you, like, hey, your down range, you're going in,

336
00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:26,560
Speaker 4: you need to retrieve people out, and like they have

337
00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:28,800
Speaker 4: like all these flash bangs going out. I'm like, yo,

338
00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:32,080
Speaker 4: what the fuck is? And so like the thrown these

339
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,320
Speaker 4: flash bangs. It's like this little smoke and stuff that

340
00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:36,480
Speaker 4: they have going. It's like, Yo, this is completely different

341
00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:38,040
Speaker 4: than what I signed up for. Like when I went

342
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Speaker 4: through my Navy boot camp, like we were on like

343
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Speaker 4: this Disney ship that they created. There are sound effects

344
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Speaker 4: and music playing, and like when the ship set on

345
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:50,120
Speaker 4: this fake water and we're throwing out mooring lines, I'm like, yo,

346
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:51,280
Speaker 4: this is easy.

347
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Speaker 1: Are you so? Are you glad though, even though clearly

348
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:58,440
Speaker 1: it was gnarley and it was a shock to the system,

349
00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:00,640
Speaker 1: are you grateful for Do you see now why the

350
00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:03,440
Speaker 1: military designs it that way too, because you are going

351
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:05,320
Speaker 1: to put odds are you're going to be in an

352
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Speaker 1: environment that you can never simulate exactly, but you'll at

353
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Speaker 1: least be somewhat to wear.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I am extremely glad for that because it gave

355
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Speaker 4: me a different appreciation of what you all have to

356
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:20,880
Speaker 4: go through downrange. And then I think one of the

357
00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,040
Speaker 4: I think the defining moment in my career is like

358
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Speaker 4: once I went through this boot camp and I got

359
00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:27,600
Speaker 4: stationed at Quantico and worked at OCS, like, you know,

360
00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:29,800
Speaker 4: I still kind of felt like the sword throm, you know,

361
00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:32,040
Speaker 4: because I was an RP and people were kind of confused.

362
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:33,840
Speaker 4: I also had a no shaved ship because I was

363
00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:35,880
Speaker 4: still had Navy rigs and Marines like, yo, what the

364
00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:36,320
Speaker 4: fuck is that.

365
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:36,880
Speaker 3: On the face?

366
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Speaker 1: Hold on.

367
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:41,920
Speaker 3: Stats, sergeant.

368
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:46,120
Speaker 4: But one thing I appreciate is like those marines also said, hey,

369
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:48,520
Speaker 4: you're one of us as well, like even though you

370
00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:50,720
Speaker 4: don't have the e g. A you know on your hat,

371
00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:53,920
Speaker 4: your yeah, the globe and anchor, you're still one of us.

372
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Speaker 4: Like you treated you though, and treated me as if

373
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Speaker 4: I was one of their own. So I'm glad I

374
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Speaker 4: went through it right on. Then the other part, I

375
00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:04,040
Speaker 4: got blindsided when I selected the RP role, Like, as

376
00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:05,600
Speaker 4: you're learning your job, did we get to this chapter

377
00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:07,600
Speaker 4: where's talking like, hey, if you're on the battlefield, you

378
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:10,040
Speaker 4: know your job is to protect the chaplain and take

379
00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:11,680
Speaker 4: a bullet for the chaplain. And so I thought I

380
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:17,520
Speaker 4: misread the shit. I was like, sir, this says here

381
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:19,800
Speaker 4: we're supposed to take a bullet for the chaplain. He

382
00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:22,360
Speaker 4: was like, yeah, your recruit didn't tell you. I was like, obviously,

383
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:24,800
Speaker 4: my recruiter left a lot out of the fine print.

384
00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:25,720
Speaker 3: But that's where like.

385
00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:27,560
Speaker 1: I was still safe.

386
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:30,600
Speaker 4: I tell people now going into the stairs, like, look, man,

387
00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:34,280
Speaker 4: whatever your recruiter tells you, don't believe them, Like, do

388
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:36,520
Speaker 4: your own due diligence. They're going to get you in,

389
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:38,800
Speaker 4: but do you need to truly find out what you're

390
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:41,960
Speaker 4: getting yourself into when you get into that role. But hindsight,

391
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:45,040
Speaker 4: I would truly say that I'm more grateful now that

392
00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:47,440
Speaker 4: I did get that role on the Green Side, because

393
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:51,400
Speaker 4: that's truly where I learned about camaraderie and brotherhood. A

394
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:54,160
Speaker 4: great example of that was we were corgy, young and dumb,

395
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:57,680
Speaker 4: and we had motorcycles and we went down from Quantico

396
00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:00,560
Speaker 4: to Norfolk, me and a bunch of Marines. The way back,

397
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:02,440
Speaker 4: we're just as zipping in and out of traffic, and

398
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:04,240
Speaker 4: so we get pulled over by a state trooper and

399
00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:06,240
Speaker 4: so I was like, you know what, I'll take the

400
00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:08,880
Speaker 4: hit for this, but Sergeant Connors like, nah, man, we're

401
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:10,520
Speaker 4: here for you. RP like we're not going to leave

402
00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:12,600
Speaker 4: you behind. You know, that was my first interaction. So

403
00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:15,000
Speaker 4: you know, somebody mean, like they could have easily been like,

404
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,360
Speaker 4: all right, we're gonna get back to base, Good luck

405
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:20,280
Speaker 4: for you, brother, but they like that was one of

406
00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:22,080
Speaker 4: my first encounters I was like, yo, Like they could

407
00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:24,639
Speaker 4: have easily just said, you know what, you got to

408
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:26,560
Speaker 4: bite this one and we're going back, but they was

409
00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:28,760
Speaker 4: like nah, they parked their bikes, they stood there. The

410
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:31,479
Speaker 4: trooper let me off with not even a warning. He's like, hey, man,

411
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:33,600
Speaker 4: let's get back the base safe. Slow down, And of

412
00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:34,880
Speaker 4: course we did one hundred all the way back.

413
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,320
Speaker 1: But no.

414
00:17:37,359 --> 00:17:39,520
Speaker 4: But that was just a great example of like for

415
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:43,240
Speaker 4: something that I had a selfish intention of going into,

416
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:47,720
Speaker 4: like along the way, my perception was slowly changing of

417
00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:50,160
Speaker 4: like what it meant to serve and what it meant

418
00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:52,679
Speaker 4: to look to the left and right of you and

419
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:53,600
Speaker 4: look out for them.

420
00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:56,560
Speaker 1: And so humbling is you get humbled.

421
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:59,080
Speaker 4: You do often, you do, you really do, and you

422
00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:02,080
Speaker 4: learn the care aracter of other people quickly. When you're

423
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:05,240
Speaker 4: in those situations where it's kind of like no one's looking,

424
00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:08,879
Speaker 4: but everyone's looking, that's when you truly start to define

425
00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:11,320
Speaker 4: who are your ship bags, who are your good people?

426
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:13,399
Speaker 4: Who are the soult of the earth. That's how I

427
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,840
Speaker 4: got to become an RP in the Navy. But I

428
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:18,000
Speaker 4: loved it. I have fun at olcs, a lot of

429
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:19,200
Speaker 4: god great stories from there.

430
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:22,200
Speaker 2: So where did you go from Virginia.

431
00:18:22,359 --> 00:18:25,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, so Virginia, I went over to Yakuska, Japan. So

432
00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:27,600
Speaker 4: I actually joined the Navy at that point, and so

433
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:29,479
Speaker 4: I went blue side. The ship that I was on

434
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:31,719
Speaker 4: was the US cow Pins, a cruiser, so we were

435
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:33,479
Speaker 4: part of the seventh Fleet. I think the carry at

436
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,879
Speaker 4: that time was US at George, Washington, and we were

437
00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:38,800
Speaker 4: part of their air defense whenever we went on our deployments.

438
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:41,960
Speaker 4: And so Japan Yakuska was a different world and a

439
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:46,800
Speaker 4: different experience. It was crazy. I will never forget when

440
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:48,560
Speaker 4: I showed up to my ship for the first time.

441
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,800
Speaker 4: I was fortunate. I worked with this chaplain by the

442
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,280
Speaker 4: name of Chaplain Jones. He was also at Chronicle with me.

443
00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:55,600
Speaker 4: He went over to Japan, and when I was getting

444
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:57,560
Speaker 4: ready to select for new orders, I called them and

445
00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:59,440
Speaker 4: we talked about it. I was like, you know what,

446
00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:02,240
Speaker 4: it'd be great just to you know, actually experience what

447
00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:04,320
Speaker 4: the Navy is like and you know, be a drunken

448
00:19:04,359 --> 00:19:08,120
Speaker 4: sailor and have those experiences, and so we talked about it.

449
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:10,720
Speaker 4: I got to Japan and I'll never forget like those

450
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:12,280
Speaker 4: last two and a half three years when I was

451
00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:15,480
Speaker 4: in Chronicle, like I was wearing like Marine Corps uniforms.

452
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,880
Speaker 4: Like my standards were held at the Marine Corps level.

453
00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:21,160
Speaker 4: So during the Marine Corps pet test, everything was that, yep,

454
00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:24,040
Speaker 4: just like docs, just like docs. And so when I

455
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:26,679
Speaker 4: got to my base or my new duty station, like

456
00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:29,280
Speaker 4: I show up in like my Marine Corps stuff because

457
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,359
Speaker 4: that's all I had. I didn't have like my naval

458
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:33,160
Speaker 4: gear because I didn't need to buy it at the time.

459
00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:35,560
Speaker 4: And I'll never forget people like, well, look at me weird.

460
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:36,960
Speaker 4: It's like, yo, who's this square away?

461
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:37,240
Speaker 1: Say it?

462
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:40,760
Speaker 3: Or like think he's a shit. I'm like, we're your standards,

463
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:41,320
Speaker 3: you know what I mean.

464
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:44,400
Speaker 4: It's like it was an awkward transition because people kind

465
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:47,040
Speaker 4: of always saw me as the RP that came from

466
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:49,679
Speaker 4: the Marines, and like my raq was squared away. And

467
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:51,879
Speaker 4: then I will say, like, of course I started to

468
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:53,600
Speaker 4: adopt the Navy standards. So I was like, man, it's

469
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:56,440
Speaker 4: shits a little too easy. But it was an experience

470
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:58,840
Speaker 4: being in a different country, you know, away from family,

471
00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:01,280
Speaker 4: like just being in a complete different culture. You know,

472
00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:03,520
Speaker 4: you have the people that want you to be there

473
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:06,679
Speaker 4: because it's a great economic opportunity for the locals. Then

474
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:08,840
Speaker 4: you have the other people who remember, you know, what

475
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,840
Speaker 4: happened years ago and don't want us to be there.

476
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:13,200
Speaker 4: And so it was I made a lot of great

477
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,040
Speaker 4: friends when I was in Japan, and that was also

478
00:20:15,119 --> 00:20:18,040
Speaker 4: just a great humbling experience of just how kind the

479
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:20,280
Speaker 4: people were. And that was something that always stood out

480
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:20,480
Speaker 4: to me.

481
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:24,440
Speaker 2: That's beautiful, that's I mean, that's why I love traveling

482
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,840
Speaker 2: and I love teaching children about travel because it's so

483
00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:29,280
Speaker 2: important for us to see how other people live. Yes,

484
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:33,600
Speaker 2: and there's so many great traditions that we can adopt ourselves, Yes,

485
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,760
Speaker 2: but especially the kindness. That's beautiful.

486
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:38,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, and the sushi, Like I never liked sushi until

487
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:39,119
Speaker 4: I got to Japan.

488
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:41,640
Speaker 2: Can you think of one person in particular you got

489
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:43,640
Speaker 2: close to while you were there in Japan?

490
00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:47,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, I will say Chaplin Jones. Yeah, that was my

491
00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:48,919
Speaker 4: immediate boss. And he was just a good guy. He

492
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:50,760
Speaker 4: was just a good, solid guy. Of course, you always

493
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,919
Speaker 4: think like you hear the chaplain and everybody wants to,

494
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:55,720
Speaker 4: you know, Roger up and perk up because the holiest.

495
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:56,960
Speaker 3: Man on the ship is walking into the room.

496
00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:01,159
Speaker 4: He was open to different thoughts for ideologies, and I

497
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:02,960
Speaker 4: think that's one thing as an RP I learned to

498
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,800
Speaker 4: appreciate was at the time being a you know, devout Christian,

499
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:08,760
Speaker 4: I had to support people who had opposite beliefs with me,

500
00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:11,960
Speaker 4: so I had to or no beliefs at all. It

501
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:14,040
Speaker 4: was one of those things where I learned like, it's

502
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:17,040
Speaker 4: not about me. Like there was another example of it's

503
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:19,199
Speaker 4: not about me. The first was with the Marines. They

504
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:21,119
Speaker 4: could have left me and said, yeah, to take that ticket.

505
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:24,320
Speaker 4: The second is like me learning like, hey, this person's wicked.

506
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:26,800
Speaker 4: I need to do what's best for them. It's not

507
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:29,399
Speaker 4: about me. That was a unique journey that I've had

508
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:30,879
Speaker 4: with Chaplin, Jones and so.

509
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,040
Speaker 1: Together, you know. And I gotta say because a lot

510
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:38,320
Speaker 1: of people know, you know how combatants, like with the

511
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:41,199
Speaker 1: quarterbacks of the military, we get all the praise and

512
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:47,199
Speaker 1: all the everything, but people don't understand for chaplains and

513
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:51,879
Speaker 1: anyone who are in direct assistance of chaplains. And I

514
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:55,840
Speaker 1: feel the same way about anyone especially in the field

515
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:59,320
Speaker 1: medically or even back home during a wartime situation that

516
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:03,480
Speaker 1: work in our military hospitals. People don't have a clue

517
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:07,879
Speaker 1: how much they go through. Yeah, because they are the

518
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:11,880
Speaker 1: catch all for everybody else's stuff, yes, and then it's

519
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:15,560
Speaker 1: like okay, well what's there, I mean, what's their outlet? Yeah?

520
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,560
Speaker 1: Or outlets? And how do they just carry it?

521
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:19,320
Speaker 3: Yeah?

522
00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:23,880
Speaker 1: And I mean it's compassionate fatigue, like it's a real thing.

523
00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:24,320
Speaker 1: It is.

524
00:22:24,359 --> 00:22:26,680
Speaker 4: And that was one thing that I think when in Quantico,

525
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:28,360
Speaker 4: like you know, I had all these guys coming back

526
00:22:28,359 --> 00:22:30,400
Speaker 4: from overseas, you know, they were just getting stationed there,

527
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:32,720
Speaker 4: you know, and they'll come to the Chappin office for

528
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:36,240
Speaker 4: counseling and typically Chappin oledge, you know, chapping sometimes like

529
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:38,280
Speaker 4: would just let me sit there like this to be

530
00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:40,920
Speaker 4: an observer, just you know, security reasons where the case

531
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:44,040
Speaker 4: may be. But you hear the stories of these people

532
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:45,920
Speaker 4: and they're coming to you saying, hey, RP, I'm dealing

533
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:48,760
Speaker 4: with something. Then you learn how to become this spiderweb

534
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:50,960
Speaker 4: of resources for the base and you're kind of like, okay,

535
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,480
Speaker 4: well sarget such and such, let's connect you here or

536
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 4: let's do this. But to your point, like you at

537
00:22:56,720 --> 00:23:00,000
Speaker 4: some point you hit this wall of compassion fatigue because

538
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:02,639
Speaker 4: it's not that you hear every story is the same,

539
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:05,160
Speaker 4: but you can kind of get to where that person's

540
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,159
Speaker 4: going to go. And then you're kind of like, Okay,

541
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:10,080
Speaker 4: I'm no longer here in the moment with them, I'm

542
00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:12,280
Speaker 4: already ten steps of like here's where I need to

543
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:15,160
Speaker 4: connect you to. But you forget to be there in

544
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:17,960
Speaker 4: the moment with that person because for them, that's their

545
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,800
Speaker 4: first time going through that journey. For you, that's your

546
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:23,120
Speaker 4: thousand times hearing the story of me and my wife

547
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:24,080
Speaker 4: aren't getting a law.

548
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:27,040
Speaker 1: To put in perspective for the people listening. It's the

549
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:31,119
Speaker 1: same as when it's operational success, and you have to

550
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:34,600
Speaker 1: have that mindset in order to keep moving forward. Just

551
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:38,720
Speaker 1: because you're pushing through and somebody goes down, well, it's

552
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:42,160
Speaker 1: not an all stop. You can't stop, And I mean

553
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:45,480
Speaker 1: that's not our job. That's stocks job. You have to

554
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:48,720
Speaker 1: keep pushing through because our enemy's not going to be

555
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 1: like okay, game, it's just but it's the same, and

556
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:55,280
Speaker 1: just put it in perspective for people. That's the way

557
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:58,640
Speaker 1: you guys have to operate. You have to because there's

558
00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:02,520
Speaker 1: a lot of people behind that person. They're you can

559
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:04,800
Speaker 1: come in with a whole different set of problems, a

560
00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:09,760
Speaker 1: whole different set of abundant life situations that everybody knows

561
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:11,720
Speaker 1: and understands you don't have to. You never had to

562
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:15,200
Speaker 1: be in a military that you're trying to help mentor guide, heal,

563
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:17,679
Speaker 1: so on and so forth. And it's I mean, we

564
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:19,919
Speaker 1: know now too, out of the military doing what we

565
00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:23,919
Speaker 1: used to do. It's exhausting. It is exhausting.

566
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,479
Speaker 4: It is it's mentally taxing because then it's like what

567
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:27,360
Speaker 4: do you do for yourself?

568
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:28,240
Speaker 3: Like what's your outlet?

569
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:29,160
Speaker 1: You know?

570
00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:31,840
Speaker 4: And chaplain General's is really my outlet, and kind of

571
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:33,920
Speaker 4: vice versa for each other. But to that point, those

572
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:36,480
Speaker 4: people who are behind the lines every day in and out,

573
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:37,840
Speaker 4: like what's their outlet?

574
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:38,480
Speaker 1: You know?

575
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:39,160
Speaker 3: Where do they go?

576
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:42,960
Speaker 2: Right, it's clear that the Navy you achieved your goal

577
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:46,040
Speaker 2: of getting experienced, because it truly broadened your horizons, right

578
00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:48,320
Speaker 2: from living in another country, seeing how other people live,

579
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:52,200
Speaker 2: experiencing this emotional growth that you went through. What was

580
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:53,399
Speaker 2: it like living on the ship?

581
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:57,480
Speaker 3: Oh man, that's you're not a small guy. Yeah, that

582
00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:58,000
Speaker 3: was rough.

583
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:01,159
Speaker 4: Saw where I slept at in the kind of the

584
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 4: four bunks. I was still the most junior person, so

585
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:04,640
Speaker 4: I had the top rack.

586
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:05,480
Speaker 3: So you got this.

587
00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 4: Six foot four, two hundred and thirty pound black guy

588
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,880
Speaker 4: always trying to go up and down these other people

589
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:12,760
Speaker 4: rags as all as.

590
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:14,479
Speaker 3: Like being in jails, like hey, brother, don't put your

591
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:17,280
Speaker 3: foot on my rack. I'm like, what do you want

592
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:17,720
Speaker 3: me to do.

593
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,159
Speaker 1: I'm not Michael Jordan bro I.

594
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:22,320
Speaker 3: Can't just liftate up to the top rack.

595
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:25,439
Speaker 4: Yeah, and so, but no, being on the ship is

596
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:27,680
Speaker 4: it is fun, It is experienced. I got my sea

597
00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:32,639
Speaker 4: legs there, you know, I remember, yeah, I will. I

598
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:34,600
Speaker 4: don't know what I think. It's called drama. Mean, there's

599
00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:36,880
Speaker 4: not enough drama. Mean a person can take you know,

600
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,520
Speaker 4: when you're out in the black China Sea, like there's

601
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:41,960
Speaker 4: nothing drama. I was trying to get drama in ear

602
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:43,760
Speaker 4: patch butt shots all of them.

603
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:44,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, there was like whatever.

604
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 4: The only way you're going to get through it is

605
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:48,520
Speaker 4: to go through it. There's no other way, you know,

606
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:50,320
Speaker 4: to get your seat legs. And so getting my sea

607
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:52,920
Speaker 4: legs at first week that was brutal, Like I thought

608
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:56,040
Speaker 4: that was that was painful. It's horrible, it is. It's

609
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:58,880
Speaker 4: Sally can't tell up from down, you know. I'm also

610
00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:01,280
Speaker 4: trying to puke from the top and so now I'm

611
00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:03,320
Speaker 4: trying to sleep near the couch so I don't piss

612
00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:05,439
Speaker 4: off my bunk mates. You know, because I got this

613
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:07,280
Speaker 4: black trash bag hanging down.

614
00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:11,520
Speaker 3: Try full of pew. I'm like, hey, bro, I could

615
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:16,200
Speaker 3: only do so much, you know. But no, that was fun.

616
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,119
Speaker 4: But I would say ship life is hectic, you know

617
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 4: what I mean. It's a twenty four to seven operation.

618
00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:21,600
Speaker 4: It's never really down time.

619
00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:27,280
Speaker 2: Obviously you've gone through a ton of experience here at

620
00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:30,800
Speaker 2: such a young age. When did you deal with your

621
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:33,000
Speaker 2: first big heartache or hardship?

622
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:35,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, I would say that the one that was more

623
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:38,800
Speaker 4: so I awakening for me was in June of twenty ten.

624
00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:41,359
Speaker 4: At my ship, I had a good friend of mine,

625
00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:44,480
Speaker 4: Christopher Perino, take his life. We was in dry docks,

626
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:46,840
Speaker 4: and every day you have what's called like the plan

627
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:47,280
Speaker 4: of the day.

628
00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:50,280
Speaker 3: So typically in the I was admin support is what

629
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:50,399
Speaker 3: I was.

630
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:52,240
Speaker 4: Glad I was kind of an admin section, and so

631
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,000
Speaker 4: we will type up the plan of the days and

632
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:56,560
Speaker 4: we'll get it up to the EXO or the Master

633
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:58,760
Speaker 4: chief to sign off. You know, go to EXO and

634
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,000
Speaker 4: then you'll go to the CEOs. Hey, here's our schedule

635
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:03,360
Speaker 4: for the day. Drills were going to be running XYZ

636
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:05,520
Speaker 4: and so I remember that day. We get to the

637
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:08,159
Speaker 4: ship and we're walking through the planet of the day

638
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:11,120
Speaker 4: before it sent out, and we hear this guy come

639
00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:13,040
Speaker 4: over the one m CE, you know, had a very

640
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 4: shaky voice, and he said, you know, I think it's

641
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:18,760
Speaker 4: like five minutes, five minutes to Colors. So we thought

642
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:21,000
Speaker 4: it was the new guy that had just joined the ship,

643
00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:22,399
Speaker 4: you know, and it was his first time on the

644
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:24,879
Speaker 4: one MC, because it's heard throughout the entire ship and

645
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:27,439
Speaker 4: external the ship like first call first called the Colors,

646
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:29,760
Speaker 4: and so we didn't think anything of it, was like, oh,

647
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:31,800
Speaker 4: that's the new guy. Boys' shaky. We're all just like

648
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:34,359
Speaker 4: kind of cracking jokes, blah blah blah. And then we

649
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:36,840
Speaker 4: hear the whistle for Colors to go off at zero

650
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:40,680
Speaker 4: eight hundred zero zero eight oh three because in the

651
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:42,720
Speaker 4: foreign country we played the national anthem and then the

652
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:45,159
Speaker 4: local country plays their anthem and so it's about a

653
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:48,119
Speaker 4: three minute spill altogether. And so then we hear the

654
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:51,920
Speaker 4: final wheelers that Colors are is secured. Then about say

655
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:54,320
Speaker 4: two to three minutes later, we hear someone come over

656
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:56,080
Speaker 4: to the one m CE say man overboard, man of

657
00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:58,920
Speaker 4: aboard starver Side. And so at that time our ship

658
00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:01,440
Speaker 4: is in dry Dox. Those who aren't familiar with dry dock.

659
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:03,600
Speaker 4: Shot docks is typically where they pull the ship into

660
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:05,959
Speaker 4: this big empty pit they drain all the water from

661
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,000
Speaker 4: beneath it so they can work on the exterior of

662
00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:10,240
Speaker 4: the ship. And so we're looking through the plan of

663
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:12,200
Speaker 4: the day, like we didn't have a man of a

664
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:14,359
Speaker 4: board drill schedule, especially while we're.

665
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:16,440
Speaker 3: In dry dock, you know, getting construction work done, so

666
00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:18,720
Speaker 3: something just we didn't know what was going on.

667
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:21,680
Speaker 4: And then someone came back over one tom see like

668
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:23,639
Speaker 4: a minute later saying, this is not a drill, man

669
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:25,639
Speaker 4: of a board, man of a board starbar side, and

670
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:28,119
Speaker 4: so we originally thought, you know, it was maybe one

671
00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:30,399
Speaker 4: of the local nationals who were suspended doing kind of

672
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:32,760
Speaker 4: like the sidework of a ship may have like may

673
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:36,280
Speaker 4: have may have fallen or you know, from being suspended.

674
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:39,960
Speaker 4: Most logical, we could not, you know, we were thinking

675
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:42,080
Speaker 4: through there, and once we heard it was not, you know,

676
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:44,440
Speaker 4: a drill. A part of my role on the ship,

677
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:46,440
Speaker 4: I was also a stretcher bearer and so as you

678
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:47,960
Speaker 4: all know, you can't call a fire department in the

679
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:49,880
Speaker 4: middle of the ocean, even with all the water, so

680
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:52,320
Speaker 4: you typically take on you know, additional Roles. I was

681
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:54,360
Speaker 4: a stretcher bearer, and so as a stretcher bearer, we

682
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:56,880
Speaker 4: got to respond to crisis, and so we I'll never

683
00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:58,960
Speaker 4: forget we ran up to like we sprinted out of

684
00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:01,000
Speaker 4: the office, ran up the ladder well, looked over the

685
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:03,680
Speaker 4: starbars side of the ship and we see a sailor

686
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:06,760
Speaker 4: face down and it's cover offs and we're like, it

687
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:09,360
Speaker 4: is it's still processing. So I remember running through the

688
00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:12,640
Speaker 4: quarter deck running down into the dry Dox was like

689
00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:14,440
Speaker 4: one hundred feet so it was a long way to

690
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:14,760
Speaker 4: get there.

691
00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:17,320
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, And I think it's important for people to

692
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:21,760
Speaker 1: understand to the magnitude of the size of these ships

693
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:25,600
Speaker 1: unless you've seen one, like you've been up on one. Yeah,

694
00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 1: like everybody's seeing them on TV or on the computer

695
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:31,000
Speaker 1: or whatever, but like if you unless you've been next

696
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:35,360
Speaker 1: to one, these are massive, massive pieces of still.

697
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:36,880
Speaker 3: Yes they are, they are.

698
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:39,040
Speaker 4: And that ship at the time in dry do Ox

699
00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:42,000
Speaker 4: is also suspended on top of blocks. So what could

700
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,160
Speaker 4: be a two hundred foot tall ship is now a

701
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:46,400
Speaker 4: two hundred and fifty two and seventy five foot tall ship.

702
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:49,720
Speaker 4: So I never forget running down, we run down to

703
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:52,240
Speaker 4: the sailor facing down, and I can. I still hear

704
00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:55,280
Speaker 4: people saying secure ship, scarship, like I hear people like

705
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:58,280
Speaker 4: frantically getting back there, saying, hey, all hands inside ship

706
00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:01,760
Speaker 4: if you're not there. And so before we turned him over,

707
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:04,000
Speaker 4: we were kind of like all processing. So it's like, okay,

708
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:06,600
Speaker 4: you know, grab his foot, grab his head, and like

709
00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 4: let's slowly turn him over like this thing, yep, and

710
00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:12,480
Speaker 4: turn them over. And so I'll never forget. Once we

711
00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:17,880
Speaker 4: turned him over and we saw his nameplate, I was like, fuck, yeah, Perino, you.

712
00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:18,280
Speaker 1: Know what I mean.

713
00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:20,880
Speaker 4: And then you so there's no we have no idea.

714
00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:22,200
Speaker 4: We don't know if it was an accident, if it

715
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,200
Speaker 4: was intentional, whatever the case may be. We were just

716
00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:26,800
Speaker 4: there to try to resuscitate him and revive him. We

717
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:29,080
Speaker 4: turned Parena over. Of course he had like all these

718
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:30,240
Speaker 4: open compound fractures.

719
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:32,680
Speaker 1: Think about that. It was two hundred and fifty feet.

720
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:36,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, face first, so you can only imagine you know

721
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:38,520
Speaker 3: what he looked like. Yeah, it was.

722
00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:40,000
Speaker 1: It was brutal.

723
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:43,000
Speaker 3: It was really brutal. And so you know, they don't

724
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:44,400
Speaker 3: train you. You can't train for that.

725
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:46,920
Speaker 4: You can go through all the fake dummies that you

726
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:49,080
Speaker 4: see in the boot camp it is not the same

727
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:51,120
Speaker 4: when you're there in a moment. And so we get

728
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:53,360
Speaker 4: the ambulists arrived, we get him on a stretcher, and

729
00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:54,720
Speaker 4: now we put him on a stretcher, and now we

730
00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:56,680
Speaker 4: have to carry him two hundred.

731
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:59,160
Speaker 3: Feet up out the dock. And so that was just

732
00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:00,960
Speaker 3: say we moment.

733
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:03,520
Speaker 4: No one was talking to each other, you know, we

734
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:05,400
Speaker 4: were trying to like have a cadence of going up

735
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:08,320
Speaker 4: the stairs because the stairs are about tiny. They're tiny,

736
00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:11,120
Speaker 4: They're not like, you know, eighteen foot long stairs. We

737
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:13,240
Speaker 4: can just comfortably go up, like you have to kind

738
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 4: of be locking foot going up. I remember we put

739
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 4: Perino in the back of the ambulance and then like

740
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:20,160
Speaker 4: we all just stood there and it's like a big

741
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:23,080
Speaker 4: sigh just went out, like it was just a deafening sound,

742
00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:24,480
Speaker 4: and there was a little puddle.

743
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 3: I'll never forget that.

744
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:27,080
Speaker 4: I went over and walked to and I kind of

745
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:29,040
Speaker 4: washed my hands because I had some of his blood

746
00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:31,320
Speaker 4: on my hands at that time, and we were all

747
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:34,520
Speaker 4: just like what just happened, you know, because I was

748
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:38,240
Speaker 4: shocking to all of us, and so of course the

749
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:42,160
Speaker 4: entire base kind of just ascend it to our ship.

750
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:45,160
Speaker 4: I remember trying to go back to the ship, our senior,

751
00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:47,360
Speaker 4: our master chief. I saw him behind one of the

752
00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:49,800
Speaker 4: trash cans, like he was just crying. Like as an RP,

753
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:52,000
Speaker 4: and chapin like, our job is try to console. We

754
00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:54,360
Speaker 4: try to heal the unhealable, you know. Of course, we

755
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 4: try to do those things that we can't do. I

756
00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:58,760
Speaker 4: remember I tried to console them. He just broke down

757
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:01,000
Speaker 4: like mass shapes like it's not your fault, it's not

758
00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:03,000
Speaker 4: our fault. We don't know what happened, you know, like

759
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:06,120
Speaker 4: whatever the case may be. And so I remember we

760
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:09,800
Speaker 4: got the call that he was officially deceased. So of course,

761
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:11,840
Speaker 4: as being an RP, like a part of our job

762
00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:14,240
Speaker 4: is also to help support the chaplain and doing last rites.

763
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:17,040
Speaker 4: And so me and Chaps went up to the base

764
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 4: hospital and we walked into the morgue probably half size

765
00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:22,240
Speaker 4: of this room, a little bit more colder than this.

766
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:25,520
Speaker 4: And I remember we walked up to him and Chaplin

767
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:30,160
Speaker 4: Jones unzipped his bag, and that was a moment in

768
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:34,360
Speaker 4: time where I realize I am not indepensible, like I

769
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:37,560
Speaker 4: can be broken too, you know. And Chaps asked me, like, hey,

770
00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:39,520
Speaker 4: do you want a moment, you know, by yourself because

771
00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 4: he knew we were pretty close. And I was like, no, like,

772
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:43,760
Speaker 4: I don't ever want to do this ever again, Like

773
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:46,400
Speaker 4: I'm done. As a part of being an RP, all

774
00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:49,120
Speaker 4: part of our job is also you know we do funerals. Yeah,

775
00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:51,480
Speaker 4: I would say that's the toughest thing to see and

776
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:54,200
Speaker 4: to do, just because like you just see all these

777
00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:56,760
Speaker 4: young people coming back, you know what I mean. It's

778
00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:59,280
Speaker 4: not like you're going to somebody's grandparents funerals, Like you're

779
00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:02,720
Speaker 4: just seeing young people who had lives ahead of them

780
00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:03,240
Speaker 4: come back.

781
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:05,320
Speaker 3: I'll never forget when I was in Quantico.

782
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:07,400
Speaker 4: I think this was my first time I ever was

783
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:11,760
Speaker 4: kind of made cognizant of like veteran suicide. There was

784
00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:15,280
Speaker 4: a marine, a sergeant that took his life and they

785
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:18,160
Speaker 4: had his funeral at the base chapel, and I'll never

786
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:19,720
Speaker 4: forget I was standing in the kind of the anax

787
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:21,880
Speaker 4: because I helped coordinate with the local funeral home all

788
00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:24,000
Speaker 4: that good stuff. When they come on base, I'll stand

789
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:25,600
Speaker 4: in an annex. And or this little girl that I

790
00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:28,520
Speaker 4: think was his daughter, she came back into the ANX

791
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:30,360
Speaker 4: and she was kind of like she asked me like why,

792
00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:33,280
Speaker 4: like why did my dad do that? Like, you know,

793
00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:35,160
Speaker 4: this is what do you say to a seven year

794
00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:37,800
Speaker 4: old kid? Like that was my first time ever truly

795
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:40,600
Speaker 4: having to grass that there was a veteran suicide issue.

796
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:43,000
Speaker 4: Like I didn't know, Like I have my own selfish

797
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:45,640
Speaker 4: reagions of going into the military. It wasn't like the

798
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:47,400
Speaker 4: noble thing that everybody else would have did, and so

799
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:49,160
Speaker 4: it wasn't something that was top of mind to me.

800
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:51,080
Speaker 4: And I didn't have a lot of friends from high

801
00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:53,560
Speaker 4: school that joined and that I knew that deployed and

802
00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:55,600
Speaker 4: didn't make it back. Like it was something that was

803
00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:57,160
Speaker 4: kind of foreign to me. But to be in that

804
00:33:57,280 --> 00:34:01,320
Speaker 4: moment with Perino like it was personal, it made it personal.

805
00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:05,000
Speaker 4: It made it real. I'll never forget all the conversations

806
00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 4: me and Perino had, like in the Chaplin office with

807
00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:09,360
Speaker 4: the things that he was dealing with back home. To

808
00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:12,040
Speaker 4: your point earlier, that compassion fatigue, you know what I mean.

809
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:14,360
Speaker 4: Sometimes I felt like, you know that those little moments

810
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:16,320
Speaker 4: of guilts kind of like you know, I've heard these stories,

811
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:18,239
Speaker 4: you know what I mean, Like everybody has something going

812
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:20,960
Speaker 4: on at home, like including myself, you know, but then

813
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:22,759
Speaker 4: when you look at it, it's like, man, if I

814
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:24,880
Speaker 4: just had a little more time, you know what I mean,

815
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:27,600
Speaker 4: if I would have took the conversation a little more serious,

816
00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:30,479
Speaker 4: like you know, you try to do the Monday morning

817
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:33,840
Speaker 4: quarterback coach of Like, how could this have turned out differently? Honestly,

818
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:36,239
Speaker 4: I would say as an RP, you learn to build

819
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:39,680
Speaker 4: these like emotional callouses and so like it was like

820
00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:42,320
Speaker 4: you just become callous, and so I would say I

821
00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:46,360
Speaker 4: never truly processed it until after the military, when I

822
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:48,960
Speaker 4: was kind of reintegrating. Then I got out the military

823
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:50,640
Speaker 4: and met shit going to carry love.

824
00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:57,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then everything has been rainbows and roses.

825
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:03,480
Speaker 2: Rose color. Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss and

826
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:08,040
Speaker 2: can't imagine, especially being half a world away from your family, yeah,

827
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:11,680
Speaker 2: and having to go through that and knowing the guy

828
00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:15,040
Speaker 2: that personally, Yeah, you then went on, I mean you

829
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:18,239
Speaker 2: had to do the funerals and everything when you came home.

830
00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:19,480
Speaker 2: How much did you carry that?

831
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:20,400
Speaker 1: Oh?

832
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:23,719
Speaker 4: I carried it a lot, Like I don't think there

833
00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:26,800
Speaker 4: was a day that went by where kind of to

834
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:29,080
Speaker 4: early I was kind of like, man, like, what.

835
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:30,360
Speaker 3: Could we have done differently?

836
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:34,759
Speaker 1: You know, I don't realize we don't get trained on

837
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:37,120
Speaker 1: how to process that stuff. I don't get trained on

838
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:43,320
Speaker 1: I would say anything aside from violence of action on

839
00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:45,080
Speaker 1: how to handle anything outside of that.

840
00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:47,239
Speaker 3: It's true, It's very true.

841
00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:48,359
Speaker 2: How did you cope?

842
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:52,000
Speaker 4: I don't think I did. I just allowed it to

843
00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:56,120
Speaker 4: simmer and just spread and I just never truly addressed

844
00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:58,560
Speaker 4: it until it decided to address me. And that's why

845
00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:00,439
Speaker 4: me and Chapin Jones are so close to it because

846
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:02,359
Speaker 4: like even around that time, he'll text me or we'll

847
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:03,960
Speaker 4: call and say, hey, how are you doing? You know,

848
00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:05,960
Speaker 4: when it gets up to that date, you know, and

849
00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:08,080
Speaker 4: so that's something that's always positive. But even with the

850
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:10,239
Speaker 4: conversation with him, it's like, man, could we have done more?

851
00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:12,640
Speaker 4: Could we have seen something different? Because you know, you

852
00:36:12,719 --> 00:36:14,799
Speaker 4: always go through these trainings where it's kind of like, hey,

853
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:17,879
Speaker 4: how do see suicide coming? I don't think you ever can,

854
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:20,120
Speaker 4: Like I don't care as many trainings as you go through,

855
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:22,080
Speaker 4: the signs, like you just never know what a person

856
00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:24,799
Speaker 4: is going through. I think for me, when I got out,

857
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:27,719
Speaker 4: the coping was just truly allowing my ego to be

858
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:30,680
Speaker 4: my healer. To your point, nobody ever teaches you like

859
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:34,960
Speaker 4: how to where do you begin to process it? Like

860
00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:36,160
Speaker 4: do you talk about it?

861
00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:38,719
Speaker 1: Do you go on? Then we don't want to do that.

862
00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:41,759
Speaker 3: Wekness you don't want to go do that.

863
00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:44,400
Speaker 4: I think the hardest thing for me when I I

864
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:47,400
Speaker 4: always say when I got out was I knew I

865
00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:49,680
Speaker 4: was dealing with something upstairs because something was right, because

866
00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:51,800
Speaker 4: I still have a nightmares, Like I just I was

867
00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:54,920
Speaker 4: not me. I think the most humbling and I want

868
00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:56,880
Speaker 4: to say humbling, but the most embarrassing thing to me.

869
00:36:57,120 --> 00:36:59,040
Speaker 4: You know, when we got connected with the place we

870
00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 4: used to work previously and starting to learn about PTSD

871
00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:04,120
Speaker 4: and things, and started to hear the other stories of warriors,

872
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:05,880
Speaker 4: you know, and what they had to go through on

873
00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:09,000
Speaker 4: the battlefield and how they had TBI and PTSD, I'm like, well, shit,

874
00:37:09,719 --> 00:37:11,360
Speaker 4: my story doesn't compare to their. It's like, I'm not

875
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:13,800
Speaker 4: going to go tell somebody I have PTSD, you know,

876
00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:16,840
Speaker 4: based off an incident that happened, because who am I

877
00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:19,359
Speaker 4: to sit across from a person who's a purple heart?

878
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:22,480
Speaker 1: Don't you now know? Is the completely wrong approach?

879
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:26,160
Speaker 3: Completely wrong approaches But that's not your fault.

880
00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:29,640
Speaker 1: That was you were conditioned to think.

881
00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:31,759
Speaker 4: That way absolutely, So I was like, who am I

882
00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:33,719
Speaker 4: to go to the VA to ask for help when

883
00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:36,240
Speaker 4: there's people out there who had hit by an ID,

884
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:39,120
Speaker 4: who got shot, you know, lost brothers and sisters and

885
00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:41,239
Speaker 4: saw it happen to the left and right of them.

886
00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:43,279
Speaker 4: For me, I always kind of kept that in. I mean,

887
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:45,280
Speaker 4: the people that I work with, they knew my story,

888
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:47,399
Speaker 4: you know, the people that you know when we told

889
00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:50,319
Speaker 4: our war stories for individuals that came to hear kind

890
00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:52,320
Speaker 4: of what we were doing in the in the veteran space,

891
00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:55,200
Speaker 4: they knew about it. But on a wide scale, I

892
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:57,440
Speaker 4: wasn't proud to say, like, hey, I'm suffering too, but

893
00:37:58,120 --> 00:37:59,839
Speaker 4: my story is not as traumatic as yours.

894
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:01,120
Speaker 3: I mean, I just felt like there was.

895
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:04,520
Speaker 1: That's that comparison of pain and suffering and it's like

896
00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:09,640
Speaker 1: and it's all relative. Yeah, everybody does it. We all

897
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:12,600
Speaker 1: do it, and it's there's no Richter skill on it. Yeah,

898
00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:15,000
Speaker 1: that's the only thing that makes us all equal. That's it.

899
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:20,200
Speaker 1: That's the one thing, the pain and suffering. Stop comparing contrasting. Yes,

900
00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:21,120
Speaker 1: it's all relative.

901
00:38:21,239 --> 00:38:25,520
Speaker 2: Absolutely, So when you got back, how was PTS manifested

902
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:25,840
Speaker 2: for you?

903
00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:29,040
Speaker 4: I was never really a big drinker, even when I

904
00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:30,759
Speaker 4: was like my first year in college, Like even in

905
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:33,680
Speaker 4: high school, Like it just wasn't for me. But when

906
00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:35,640
Speaker 4: I got back, like one thing that I saw, like

907
00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:39,200
Speaker 4: I became a very heavy drinker. My mother kind of

908
00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:40,839
Speaker 4: pointed that out to me, and I was like, oh,

909
00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:42,839
Speaker 4: you know what you're talking about. I don't drink that much.

910
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:44,279
Speaker 4: You know what I mean, I'm holding a fifth in

911
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:46,640
Speaker 4: my hand. I don't drink that much. And I also

912
00:38:46,719 --> 00:38:50,000
Speaker 4: saw the deteriorations in relationships you know, that I had,

913
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:52,239
Speaker 4: And so a lot of people would say, hey, you're

914
00:38:52,320 --> 00:38:54,839
Speaker 4: not the same that I remember. You know what I mean,

915
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:56,960
Speaker 4: you kind of take the fence to this guy. Well,

916
00:38:57,040 --> 00:38:58,520
Speaker 4: how the fuck do you remember? Yeah, you know what

917
00:38:58,560 --> 00:38:58,799
Speaker 4: I mean?

918
00:38:58,880 --> 00:38:59,880
Speaker 3: Like, how did I change?

919
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:00,279
Speaker 1: Yeah?

920
00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:05,040
Speaker 4: Yes, I mean there was all these social clues, you know,

921
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:07,160
Speaker 4: when people really didn't want to spend as much time

922
00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:09,759
Speaker 4: with me, just because like I was always on edge.

923
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:13,120
Speaker 4: I couldn't understand why. I was just angry, you know,

924
00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:15,920
Speaker 4: I was angry at something and I didn't know what

925
00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:17,239
Speaker 4: that something was.

926
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:20,200
Speaker 2: So how did you how did you start to heal?

927
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:25,440
Speaker 1: Gosh, I'm pretty sure you're scared straight.

928
00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:29,520
Speaker 4: I was, so I think the defining moment for me.

929
00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:32,520
Speaker 4: It's funny how this story comes back full circle. And

930
00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:35,439
Speaker 4: so I was a student at UT Dallas and going

931
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:38,479
Speaker 4: through I'll tell you right now, I graduated with a two.

932
00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:39,120
Speaker 3: Point one GPA.

933
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:41,239
Speaker 4: I will not be the persons like, oh yeah, I

934
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:43,919
Speaker 4: graduated magnum cum latti. I was the smartest. Like you said,

935
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:45,920
Speaker 4: it's all hunky dory. When I got no, I sucked

936
00:39:46,040 --> 00:39:46,680
Speaker 4: like I got ass.

937
00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:47,239
Speaker 1: I got d's.

938
00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:48,880
Speaker 4: But I kept it to myself, you know what I mean.

939
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:51,359
Speaker 4: Anybody outside looking in thought I was doing good. As

940
00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:53,440
Speaker 4: long as I had that GI build that bah hit

941
00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:55,160
Speaker 4: every month, I was golding. And that was my goal

942
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:56,040
Speaker 4: because I had no plan.

943
00:39:56,160 --> 00:39:58,040
Speaker 1: But you only had the two point Because I know you,

944
00:39:58,320 --> 00:40:01,800
Speaker 1: like you're my brother, You're an intelligent human being. You

945
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:04,879
Speaker 1: just were not applying yourself. Was not at all.

946
00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:05,840
Speaker 3: I wasn't in a position.

947
00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:08,040
Speaker 1: I just wanted to make it very clear for everybody.

948
00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:10,799
Speaker 1: It's not from not like you were busting your ass

949
00:40:13,239 --> 00:40:14,480
Speaker 1: just for barely showing up.

950
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:17,120
Speaker 3: Like yeah, I was giving bare minimum, like just to

951
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:18,960
Speaker 3: get by. But I'll never forget I was.

952
00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:22,000
Speaker 4: I just got finished taking an exam and I was

953
00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:24,560
Speaker 4: getting ready to head home, and I got t bone

954
00:40:24,719 --> 00:40:29,239
Speaker 4: on the way home, and so like somebody called the ambulance,

955
00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:32,239
Speaker 4: like what a responsible citizen should do. And I'm like, look, guy,

956
00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:34,279
Speaker 4: don't take me to the hospital because I just know

957
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:35,239
Speaker 4: it's going to be bad.

958
00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:39,960
Speaker 3: Like my gut. I avoided hospitals ever since that last moment.

959
00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:42,040
Speaker 4: Who in the hospital, And so I was like, hey,

960
00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:43,560
Speaker 4: don't take me there, like I don't want to go.

961
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:45,960
Speaker 4: I'm okay, you know, I'll get somebody profen and water.

962
00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:48,040
Speaker 4: I'll suck it up and you know, I'll figure it out.

963
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:54,200
Speaker 1: Water clean socks, you're solid.

964
00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:57,160
Speaker 4: Absolutely, rest and elevate. And I was like, hey, don't

965
00:40:57,200 --> 00:40:58,920
Speaker 4: take me there. I don't want to go there, like

966
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:01,000
Speaker 4: I just know it's not gonna end. And so he's like,

967
00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:02,920
Speaker 4: hey man, you got hit pretty bad. You need to

968
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:05,080
Speaker 4: go get checked out. And so I go to the

969
00:41:05,719 --> 00:41:08,839
Speaker 4: Richardson I think Methodist Hospital and I'm sitting in there

970
00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:10,799
Speaker 4: and then I can just That's when I knew something

971
00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:13,600
Speaker 4: was right, Like I started to have triggers. I started

972
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:16,800
Speaker 4: to have this big panic attack where things were just

973
00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:19,360
Speaker 4: I was just like in a time and space didn't exist,

974
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:22,520
Speaker 4: Like I was blacking out, and I remember running down

975
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:26,160
Speaker 4: the hallway in like my red Puma underwear. That's when

976
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 4: I knew shit was fucked up, and I run out

977
00:41:29,719 --> 00:41:30,360
Speaker 4: the hospital.

978
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:34,200
Speaker 1: Pretty good precursor, that's pretty good, Like, oh, this isn't normal,

979
00:41:34,560 --> 00:41:35,240
Speaker 1: this is normal.

980
00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:37,920
Speaker 4: I remember running out of the hospital and I'm standing

981
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:40,040
Speaker 4: in the intersection, this busy intersection in the middle of

982
00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:45,719
Speaker 4: the day, and he's. Fortunate for me, there was two

983
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:48,239
Speaker 4: police officers who were also there, not due to me,

984
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:50,120
Speaker 4: but due to another call that they were there for.

985
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:52,920
Speaker 3: Vaguely remember hearing people saying stop him, stop him.

986
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:54,560
Speaker 4: I'm running out, like I need to get out of

987
00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:57,680
Speaker 4: here because whatever's happened, something was happening, and I remember

988
00:41:57,800 --> 00:42:02,240
Speaker 4: breaking down, sobbing on the side walk in the middle

989
00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:04,200
Speaker 4: of the in the middle of the street, and these

990
00:42:04,239 --> 00:42:06,719
Speaker 4: two officers walk up. It's like, hey, man, like what's

991
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:08,880
Speaker 4: going on. I was like, look, man, I'm a veteran.

992
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:11,160
Speaker 4: I saw some shit when I was in It fucked

993
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:14,040
Speaker 4: me up mentally, and I'm just like pouring out. Fortunate

994
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:16,200
Speaker 4: for me, they were also veterans. It was like, look, brother,

995
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:19,640
Speaker 4: you got two options. You can either a go get

996
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:22,359
Speaker 4: your shit together and find some resources, go to VA

997
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:24,960
Speaker 4: wherever you gotta go, or be grand up dead. This

998
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:27,239
Speaker 4: was two options, Like you're going to see things. I

999
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:29,400
Speaker 4: guess they've seen it a lot. And so that's when

1000
00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:30,160
Speaker 4: I reached out to.

1001
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:35,320
Speaker 1: A little blessing dude that especially in today's society, But

1002
00:42:35,840 --> 00:42:38,279
Speaker 1: I mean, it wasn't that long ago that you had

1003
00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:41,440
Speaker 1: two warriors who happened to just transition over to the

1004
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:45,160
Speaker 1: law enforcement officer side to walk up to you and

1005
00:42:45,239 --> 00:42:47,640
Speaker 1: you just got treated like family as opposed to some

1006
00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:52,080
Speaker 1: crazy dude and his underwear just losing it on the road. Yes,

1007
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:55,520
Speaker 1: absolutely think about how differently that could have turned out.

1008
00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:57,719
Speaker 4: It could have turned out real bad. In today's climate,

1009
00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:00,480
Speaker 4: we see things are different. This was in twenty twelve

1010
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:03,600
Speaker 4: and so not that long ago. Yeah, not that long ago.

1011
00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:06,360
Speaker 4: And so he was like, you need to get you

1012
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:08,200
Speaker 4: need to get some help. And so that's when I

1013
00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:11,080
Speaker 4: reached out to this warrior of Mike Rows. That connected

1014
00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:13,640
Speaker 4: me with the program that doctor John Hart was doing,

1015
00:43:13,719 --> 00:43:16,839
Speaker 4: and that was my introduction into kind of the brain

1016
00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:18,720
Speaker 4: health space and started my healing journey.

1017
00:43:19,719 --> 00:43:21,960
Speaker 2: And that's an ongoing journey, isn't it. It is.

1018
00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:24,319
Speaker 3: It's a forever journey. I don't think it ever ends.

1019
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:28,759
Speaker 4: You've uncovered some stone along the way that you're like, huh,

1020
00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:29,960
Speaker 4: didn't know that stone was there.

1021
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:33,320
Speaker 2: And one of the things I truly admire about the

1022
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:38,800
Speaker 2: military family is how easily they are. You are able

1023
00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:42,520
Speaker 2: to lean into one another to understand even though one

1024
00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:44,320
Speaker 2: of you might have gotten injured in combat and the

1025
00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:48,239
Speaker 2: other saw some really gnarly stuff in another country, You're

1026
00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:52,200
Speaker 2: able to lean into each other. It's so important because

1027
00:43:52,239 --> 00:43:54,160
Speaker 2: you know you're not alone, and you know that you

1028
00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:56,880
Speaker 2: have someone sitting across from you that you can talk to.

1029
00:43:57,280 --> 00:43:57,480
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1030
00:43:57,719 --> 00:43:59,640
Speaker 2: I mean that's why therapy is such a huge deal

1031
00:43:59,719 --> 00:43:59,960
Speaker 2: to us.

1032
00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:02,359
Speaker 1: I mean, regardless of what con as you can find

1033
00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:03,360
Speaker 1: therapy and anything you do.

1034
00:44:03,719 --> 00:44:05,640
Speaker 3: It's about who's to your left and to your right.

1035
00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:08,879
Speaker 4: And you know, so I continue to have these experiences

1036
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:12,080
Speaker 4: of being around people to my left and to my

1037
00:44:12,239 --> 00:44:15,799
Speaker 4: right that care, that matter, and so the love all

1038
00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:18,280
Speaker 4: the way, that loved all the way there was no condition,

1039
00:44:18,719 --> 00:44:22,200
Speaker 4: unconditional love, and that was a part of my healing process.

1040
00:44:22,239 --> 00:44:25,640
Speaker 4: It's like, well, how can I become an unconditional lover

1041
00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:28,920
Speaker 4: to other people the way people have treated me?

1042
00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:31,399
Speaker 3: I need to treat other people that exact same way.

1043
00:44:34,840 --> 00:44:38,880
Speaker 1: Once you started your journey to healing forward and started

1044
00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:42,200
Speaker 1: doing the daily work and empty in that bucket. What

1045
00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:45,239
Speaker 1: did your grades look like in your master's program in

1046
00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:47,400
Speaker 1: comparison to your undergrad program.

1047
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:50,399
Speaker 4: Yeah, So when I applied for grad school, I thought

1048
00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:52,160
Speaker 4: I wasn't going to get accepted because I had a

1049
00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:53,880
Speaker 4: two point one GPA and if you look through the

1050
00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:57,440
Speaker 4: different requirements, it's like minimum, you know, and bold letters,

1051
00:44:57,600 --> 00:45:04,640
Speaker 4: minimum minimum bold letters. I was like a view points.

1052
00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:06,320
Speaker 4: I was like, there's no way I'm gonna get in

1053
00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:08,279
Speaker 4: grad school. But I was like, you know what, I'm

1054
00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:10,560
Speaker 4: just gonna apply and see what happens. And so I

1055
00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:12,960
Speaker 4: remember talking to the advisor and I was like, hey,

1056
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:14,640
Speaker 4: before you even look at my application, I'm gonna tell

1057
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:16,720
Speaker 4: you right now, I had a two point one undergrad GPA.

1058
00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:19,840
Speaker 3: It's not who I am, you know. And so she

1059
00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:22,160
Speaker 3: basically was like, hey, write a letter telling us like

1060
00:45:22,239 --> 00:45:24,239
Speaker 3: what was happening? You know, why is this not you?

1061
00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:25,360
Speaker 3: Why should we let you in?

1062
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:28,760
Speaker 4: So I wrote the letters, submitted my application, I got accepted.

1063
00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:30,880
Speaker 4: That was like a monumental moment from me. So I

1064
00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:32,920
Speaker 4: was like, Okay, it's time to reset, you know, I

1065
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:35,600
Speaker 4: have a second opportunity to do something. And so like

1066
00:45:35,719 --> 00:45:38,520
Speaker 4: my first semester, I get all a's I'm like, man,

1067
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:41,200
Speaker 4: this just feels so easy. But what I wasn't truly

1068
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:44,320
Speaker 4: comprehending was like not that I was completely healed, but

1069
00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:46,880
Speaker 4: I was on the other side of healing. You know.

1070
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:50,080
Speaker 4: I didn't have all that mental weight that I was carrying,

1071
00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:53,440
Speaker 4: all the guilt that I was carrying, all the broken relationships.

1072
00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:55,920
Speaker 4: I had support functions around me to where if I

1073
00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:59,680
Speaker 4: need yep, I had ability to be president and be there.

1074
00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:03,360
Speaker 4: And so I ended up finishing my Masters and Organizational

1075
00:46:03,440 --> 00:46:06,640
Speaker 4: behavior with a certificate executive coaching with a four point

1076
00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:09,120
Speaker 4: zero GPA and a scholar of high distinction. And so

1077
00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:11,640
Speaker 4: it's a great testament to say who I was ten

1078
00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:15,160
Speaker 4: years ago is not who I am today. But yeah,

1079
00:46:15,200 --> 00:46:16,960
Speaker 4: it's it was great. It was a great time.

1080
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:20,800
Speaker 2: That's amazing, ma'am. That's huge. And how beautiful is that

1081
00:46:21,160 --> 00:46:24,480
Speaker 2: that this and we've seen it over and over again

1082
00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:27,799
Speaker 2: that it took this valley to get to this peak. Yeah,

1083
00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:30,960
Speaker 2: and the deeper appreciation you have for life, and the

1084
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:33,279
Speaker 2: deeper appreciation you have for your family and your loved

1085
00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:36,760
Speaker 2: ones and your brothers and your sisters, you wouldn't appreciate

1086
00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:39,359
Speaker 2: them as much had you not been through that tough time.

1087
00:46:39,640 --> 00:46:41,200
Speaker 4: The way I look at life now, and I remember

1088
00:46:41,239 --> 00:46:43,440
Speaker 4: that moment in the Morga Prino, you know, where it's

1089
00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:46,520
Speaker 4: like I'm not independable, like I can be broken to

1090
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:49,200
Speaker 4: like just like my daughter. You know, I have a

1091
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:51,279
Speaker 4: four year old beautiful daughter, and I also have a

1092
00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:53,479
Speaker 4: four month other son and beautiful wife. I'll talk about

1093
00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:55,680
Speaker 4: them in a second, you know. But like for me,

1094
00:46:56,520 --> 00:46:59,640
Speaker 4: the way I view life, it's more so like the

1095
00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:02,880
Speaker 4: moments of time and interaction in a sense of watching

1096
00:47:02,960 --> 00:47:05,839
Speaker 4: her develop, like her seeing a butterfly for the first time,

1097
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:08,759
Speaker 4: like what I may have taken for granted, like, oh,

1098
00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:11,640
Speaker 4: that's just a bird, her time seeing a bird for

1099
00:47:11,719 --> 00:47:14,400
Speaker 4: the first time, Like dad, what is that like? Just

1100
00:47:14,560 --> 00:47:18,640
Speaker 4: watching her see and experience things like And I was like,

1101
00:47:18,719 --> 00:47:20,520
Speaker 4: you know what, I want to take all that experience

1102
00:47:20,520 --> 00:47:23,600
Speaker 4: I've had, like how people love me unconditional. I want

1103
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:26,600
Speaker 4: to be that unconditional lover to her and to my

1104
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:28,800
Speaker 4: wife and to my son, and to my mother and

1105
00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:31,359
Speaker 4: to my siblings. So you know, just and just bring

1106
00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:33,279
Speaker 4: it all back home. But to your point, like I

1107
00:47:33,440 --> 00:47:36,320
Speaker 4: had to go through that valley to be appreciative to

1108
00:47:36,360 --> 00:47:40,680
Speaker 4: where I am today. Absolutely most recently, my father and

1109
00:47:40,719 --> 00:47:43,680
Speaker 4: I were talking and I started to learn more about

1110
00:47:43,719 --> 00:47:45,880
Speaker 4: his childhood and like how he grew up like in

1111
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:48,640
Speaker 4: just a one bedroom house with like eight other siblings,

1112
00:47:48,680 --> 00:47:50,480
Speaker 4: and how they had to share everything. He was a

1113
00:47:50,520 --> 00:47:52,600
Speaker 4: baby of the family and you know, the things he

1114
00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:56,080
Speaker 4: had to go through, and as he strives today to

1115
00:47:56,200 --> 00:47:59,040
Speaker 4: break barriers, you know, for us, it's the same way

1116
00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:01,920
Speaker 4: him and my mother to instill, like, hey, we can

1117
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:04,319
Speaker 4: only get you so far with the resources we had.

1118
00:48:04,760 --> 00:48:06,479
Speaker 4: Now I want you to pick up where we left

1119
00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:08,399
Speaker 4: off and get your kids as far as you can

1120
00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:11,120
Speaker 4: with the resources that you have, and keep that generational

1121
00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:14,400
Speaker 4: building going. So you're right, like, it's been a journey

1122
00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:16,680
Speaker 4: these last ten years of just you know, kicking down

1123
00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:20,279
Speaker 4: doors and taking names, and I don't know still I

1124
00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:22,239
Speaker 4: feel like my journey is truly beginning now that I'm

1125
00:48:22,280 --> 00:48:23,239
Speaker 4: on the other side of the coin.

1126
00:48:23,880 --> 00:48:27,680
Speaker 2: Absolutely it is. And at this stage of your life,

1127
00:48:27,960 --> 00:48:29,080
Speaker 2: what inspires you.

1128
00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:34,680
Speaker 4: The possibility of what's to come. It's like, what I

1129
00:48:34,760 --> 00:48:38,200
Speaker 4: truly feel is what inspires me. I think that I

1130
00:48:38,280 --> 00:48:41,080
Speaker 4: know that I haven't truly reached my potential. It's something

1131
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:45,160
Speaker 4: that I think is going to kind of catapult me

1132
00:48:45,320 --> 00:48:47,840
Speaker 4: to that next level. I took a break from like

1133
00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:50,319
Speaker 4: the veteran space just because I mean, shit, you're still

1134
00:48:50,360 --> 00:48:52,080
Speaker 4: in it, and you are as well as like this.

1135
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:53,759
Speaker 3: You're in the trenches, you know.

1136
00:48:53,840 --> 00:48:56,080
Speaker 4: And I couldn't continue to do the mental trenches anymore

1137
00:48:56,120 --> 00:48:57,759
Speaker 4: of like seeing what was happening to us, so I

1138
00:48:57,840 --> 00:48:58,480
Speaker 4: take a step back.

1139
00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:01,880
Speaker 3: So I think I had to take a step.

1140
00:49:01,719 --> 00:49:04,600
Speaker 2: Away from putting yourself first and doing that.

1141
00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:06,680
Speaker 3: You're right, you know I never thought about it like that,

1142
00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:10,080
Speaker 3: but you're right. I did self care yeah, self care.

1143
00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:12,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, And so I need to find my way back

1144
00:49:12,680 --> 00:49:14,680
Speaker 4: into the vet space and give back because I know

1145
00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:15,800
Speaker 4: there's more for me.

1146
00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:18,000
Speaker 1: Of course, it's an easy day, you know, and you.

1147
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:19,719
Speaker 2: Know people, well you're here and we're not going to

1148
00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:20,120
Speaker 2: let you leave.

1149
00:49:20,239 --> 00:49:24,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, tell me how you celebrate your winds

1150
00:49:25,320 --> 00:49:31,520
Speaker 1: now man, I would say, before it used to be

1151
00:49:31,680 --> 00:49:34,400
Speaker 1: just about me partying. We know stories.

1152
00:49:34,880 --> 00:49:37,040
Speaker 3: But I think my celebration of wins today is like

1153
00:49:37,200 --> 00:49:39,160
Speaker 3: with my with my wife and with my family.

1154
00:49:39,800 --> 00:49:39,960
Speaker 1: You know.

1155
00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:42,360
Speaker 4: Before, I think in longest journey was more so like

1156
00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:45,520
Speaker 4: how can I get self gratification? And so my wins

1157
00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:48,360
Speaker 4: are now in us, like my wins are more so

1158
00:49:48,520 --> 00:49:51,040
Speaker 4: for my kids and for my wife and like how

1159
00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:54,680
Speaker 4: their quality of life is. And that's really what's my

1160
00:49:54,840 --> 00:49:57,440
Speaker 4: big win is. You know how I celebrate my wins Now,

1161
00:49:57,440 --> 00:49:59,600
Speaker 4: it's like, can my daughter put on a backpack and

1162
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:01,160
Speaker 4: go to schoo you know what I mean? Can she

1163
00:50:01,200 --> 00:50:03,000
Speaker 4: stop saying to f MOhm in the grocery store?

1164
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:03,480
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1165
00:50:04,360 --> 00:50:06,720
Speaker 3: Those are winds for me now I kind of celebrate

1166
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:07,839
Speaker 3: that I'm doing the right.

1167
00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:08,840
Speaker 4: Thing, that I know I'm on the right way. The

1168
00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:12,040
Speaker 4: winds that matter, yeah, the winds that matter, and celebrating

1169
00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:12,879
Speaker 4: with the people I love.

1170
00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:16,919
Speaker 1: That's freaking beautiful. Well, you've clearly learned some stuff along

1171
00:50:16,960 --> 00:50:17,239
Speaker 1: the way.

1172
00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:19,279
Speaker 4: You know, I'd be remiss if I didn't say, you know,

1173
00:50:19,440 --> 00:50:21,440
Speaker 4: part of this journey, A big part of it was

1174
00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:24,200
Speaker 4: my wife. You know, she was truly that crush that

1175
00:50:24,239 --> 00:50:25,880
Speaker 4: I could lean And I kind of get emotional here,

1176
00:50:25,960 --> 00:50:28,520
Speaker 4: so I won't get the tear ducks going. But I'm

1177
00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:30,800
Speaker 4: extremely grateful for her because she put up with my

1178
00:50:30,880 --> 00:50:32,000
Speaker 4: ship for so many years.

1179
00:50:32,120 --> 00:50:32,759
Speaker 1: She didn't have to.

1180
00:50:33,360 --> 00:50:36,080
Speaker 3: So I'm extremely grateful for my wife, and she was

1181
00:50:36,160 --> 00:50:37,080
Speaker 3: my true support group.

1182
00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:40,040
Speaker 1: I love you, bro, you know this, and your my brothers,

1183
00:50:40,040 --> 00:50:43,400
Speaker 1: And that's the way it'll always and forever, be anytime, anywhere, anything,

1184
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:45,640
Speaker 1: say the word. You know, I'm not going to ask questions,

1185
00:50:45,719 --> 00:50:47,680
Speaker 1: but I'll show Kishan.

1186
00:50:47,760 --> 00:50:49,520
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for being on the good stuff.

1187
00:50:49,640 --> 00:50:50,520
Speaker 3: Thank you all for having me.

1188
00:50:57,320 --> 00:50:58,279
Speaker 1: Now you know why I love it.

1189
00:50:58,640 --> 00:51:01,560
Speaker 2: He's so great. He brings such great energy. And for

1190
00:51:01,719 --> 00:51:05,040
Speaker 2: him to open up and tell his story, it's truly inspiring.

1191
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:08,560
Speaker 2: For him to come in and speak so candidly about

1192
00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:12,120
Speaker 2: even his very selfish reasons for wanting to join the military,

1193
00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:14,400
Speaker 2: that's vulnerability one hundred percent.

1194
00:51:14,719 --> 00:51:14,919
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1195
00:51:15,320 --> 00:51:20,320
Speaker 2: And then how it's grown today into this incredible, strong,

1196
00:51:20,600 --> 00:51:25,839
Speaker 2: intelligent family man with love of country sitting in front

1197
00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:28,239
Speaker 2: of us, sharing with us about it.

1198
00:51:28,440 --> 00:51:30,760
Speaker 1: Executive of a major cor Yeah.

1199
00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:34,040
Speaker 2: Sharing with us. You know what all he's been through

1200
00:51:34,040 --> 00:51:36,799
Speaker 2: and what's gotten him there, just like we said, through

1201
00:51:36,840 --> 00:51:39,560
Speaker 2: the valleys, to truly get to and not only get to,

1202
00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:43,320
Speaker 2: but to appreciate the peak, to live in gratitude, to

1203
00:51:43,400 --> 00:51:45,200
Speaker 2: have that mindset, it's just beautiful.

1204
00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:49,600
Speaker 1: It has not been through lack of hard work and

1205
00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:52,080
Speaker 1: embracing is suffering and feeling it all the way and

1206
00:51:52,239 --> 00:51:55,720
Speaker 1: all the things we all have to do to watch

1207
00:51:56,360 --> 00:52:00,160
Speaker 1: our child see a butterfly for the first time and

1208
00:52:00,280 --> 00:52:04,279
Speaker 1: it make us give us the ability because of the

1209
00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:08,200
Speaker 1: work we put in on us to be able to

1210
00:52:08,320 --> 00:52:11,640
Speaker 1: see the same thing right. That's spiritual stuff.

1211
00:52:11,640 --> 00:52:14,640
Speaker 2: I agree. And the self care, you know he touched

1212
00:52:14,680 --> 00:52:18,719
Speaker 2: on it. You've got to take time for yourself, make

1213
00:52:18,840 --> 00:52:22,960
Speaker 2: sure that you don't have compassion fatigue, make sure that

1214
00:52:23,120 --> 00:52:25,520
Speaker 2: you're taking care of yourself so that you can go

1215
00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:28,560
Speaker 2: truly be effective for others that are in need. And

1216
00:52:28,640 --> 00:52:31,319
Speaker 2: when you're in need, don't be afraid to reach out

1217
00:52:31,480 --> 00:52:32,120
Speaker 2: and seek help.

1218
00:52:32,320 --> 00:52:34,800
Speaker 1: That's it. You got to make sure your own bucket

1219
00:52:34,880 --> 00:52:36,439
Speaker 1: is empty before you start helping others.

1220
00:52:36,480 --> 00:52:40,600
Speaker 2: Empty theirs absolutely, And of course the wonderful lesson of

1221
00:52:40,719 --> 00:52:42,400
Speaker 2: don't get stuck on the top bunk of a.

1222
00:52:42,440 --> 00:52:45,279
Speaker 1: Ship, top box, no fun, zero fun factor on the

1223
00:52:45,360 --> 00:52:46,359
Speaker 1: top on a ship.

1224
00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:49,920
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for listening. If this episode touched

1225
00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:51,919
Speaker 2: you today, please share it and be part of making

1226
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:53,040
Speaker 2: someone else's day better.

1227
00:52:53,480 --> 00:52:55,760
Speaker 1: Put on your bad ass capes and be great today.

1228
00:52:55,920 --> 00:52:59,560
Speaker 1: And remember you can't do epic stuff without epic people.

1229
00:53:00,320 --> 00:53:07,600
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to the good Stuff. The Good

1230
00:53:07,640 --> 00:53:11,600
Speaker 1: Stuff is executive produced by Ashley Shick, Jacob Schick, Leah

1231
00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:15,360
Speaker 1: Pictures and q Code Media, hosted by Ashley Shick and

1232
00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:20,839
Speaker 1: Jacob Shick. Produced by Nick Casslini and Ryan Countshouse. Post

1233
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:25,880
Speaker 1: production supervisor Will Tindi. Music editing by Will Haywood Smith,

1234
00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:28,360
Speaker 1: Edited by Mike Robinson,