Speaker 1: Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
Speaker 1: Show weekdays at two a m. Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Speaker 1: If you thought four hours a day dred minutes a
Speaker 1: week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
Speaker 1: of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
Speaker 1: treats crackheads in the Ghetto Cutter the same as the
Speaker 1: rich pill poppers in the penthouse, the clearing House of
Speaker 1: hot takes, break free or something special. The Fifth Hour
Speaker 1: with Ben Maller starts right now that it does in
Speaker 1: the air everywhere coast the coast, border to bar There
Speaker 1: actually are no borders on podcasting. But that we are
Speaker 1: back at it again as this podcast heard every single
Speaker 1: week on the I Heart Podcast Never we thank you
Speaker 1: for being a loyal minion or supporting the content that
Speaker 1: we provide. And uh, it's weird. You have mixed feelings
Speaker 1: about this because part of me is happy that the
Speaker 1: audience is continuing to grow and that there's a demand
Speaker 1: for these podcasts. The other part of me is like crap.
Speaker 1: That means I have to keep doing the podcast, so
Speaker 1: I have I have mixed emotions because if nobody was listening,
Speaker 1: if the numbers were down. If it was crapped and
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have to do it, the company wouldn't want
Speaker 1: me to do it. Um, But the numbers keep going
Speaker 1: up studily, so we do thank you for that. And
Speaker 1: we are joined yet again by the man who made
Speaker 1: the b famous. He's got his singer, David Gascon from
Speaker 1: West of the four oh five. Well, since this podcast
Speaker 1: continues to grow, do you think this podcast is adequate
Speaker 1: and sufficient enough to be carried live on radio? Was
Speaker 1: made for live radio? How about occasionally we curse? But
Speaker 1: I would be if it. If it involved more money,
Speaker 1: I'd be all about it. Put it on the radio.
Speaker 1: I'm all for it. I've changed my stance. I used
Speaker 1: to always say, never put radio on television because it's radio.
Speaker 1: But if they pay, And I've had friends have done
Speaker 1: radio shows that ended up being simulcast on television and
Speaker 1: they get a nice, big fat check in a bonus
Speaker 1: to the radio work. So if you can get paid
Speaker 1: double for the same thing, who wouldn't sign off on
Speaker 1: that sports colman do that? Or who does a simulcast
Speaker 1: on the show? Oh one guy's in Boston and Jerry Callahan,
Speaker 1: uh when he when he at w e I back
Speaker 1: of the day. He his show was on Nesson and
Speaker 1: so he was getting a check from Nesson in addition
Speaker 1: to w E I. And so yeah, I mean there's
Speaker 1: a few other people that have dabbled in that. And uh,
Speaker 1: you can put a camera in the studio overnight, and
Speaker 1: I got a camera in here anyway because the videos
Speaker 1: we do on the on YouTube. Uh, so we've got that. Uh.
Speaker 1: We had said before we get to today's podcast, we
Speaker 1: had set Dylan on from the Babylon. But how did
Speaker 1: that go? By the way, did that? Did that do well?
Speaker 1: The set Dylan thing? It was? It was it was
Speaker 1: surprisingly excellent, not by by my stards. I knew it
Speaker 1: was gonna be great, but but people have downloaded it.
Speaker 1: It's been a great surprise to see the elevation and
Speaker 1: of course not to be overlooked. But we had Benny
Speaker 1: versus the Penny last night too. Yes, that's right, Benny
Speaker 1: versus the Penny again. Back at it a big weekend.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be a big gambling weekend. Guess can I'm
Speaker 1: gonna get back. I've been I've been like a see
Speaker 1: saw so far this season, picking games either up and
Speaker 1: you're down, and you're up and you're down, which is
Speaker 1: really the way of life. But well, we'll see and
Speaker 1: you check that out. That's that's up there on the YouTube.
Speaker 1: We tweeted it out, of course, and you can check
Speaker 1: that out. And not just before the games. A lot
Speaker 1: of people obviously would want to watch it before if
Speaker 1: you're planning on gambling on the NFL. However, many people
Speaker 1: enjoy looking at my analysis after the fact when they
Speaker 1: know the outcome and they can goof on me and
Speaker 1: say how dumb that analysis was. So there's two ways
Speaker 1: to do it. Are they goofing on you or they
Speaker 1: goofing on your lack of furniture. Because it seems like
Speaker 1: every time we're on air, people are all he is
Speaker 1: thinking that you're homeless, or that you're just you've just something.
Speaker 1: That's my man cave, that's my spare man cave, and
Speaker 1: you're just just people are jealous. People are just jealous.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'll put a photo one week of Bella behind
Speaker 1: me and they could have Bella staring about that. It's
Speaker 1: a small dog. She can't get around your back. Bella
Speaker 1: is a beast. What are you talking about? What's that?
Speaker 1: She's like the size of your fu. We Bella's fur
Speaker 1: has grown out. Bella is very large and in charge. Yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, So before we get into the meat of
Speaker 1: the matter here, cameo dot com. Cameo dot Com actually
Speaker 1: did a few cameos recently and for for a couple
Speaker 1: of Maddie and the Natty, it was one of the
Speaker 1: guys there, one of the Cincinnati Bros. Although I didn't
Speaker 1: realize it was Maddie from The Natty. So if you're
Speaker 1: a p one that you know, if I kind of
Speaker 1: know who you are because of social media or whatever
Speaker 1: you call in everyone's you gotta let me know because
Speaker 1: I'm like, like Maddie and the Natty, it was Matthew
Speaker 1: when I got the cameo requests, so I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know Matthew. But then I
Speaker 1: knew Maddie and the Natty. It changes the it changes
Speaker 1: the dynamic there. So it just a heads up for
Speaker 1: future future cameo users. Just give me a little info that,
Speaker 1: like who you are, how I would know you if
Speaker 1: I do know you, and if not, I it's fine.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of people I don't know, Thank god.
Speaker 1: Most of the people that listen, I'll never have any
Speaker 1: contact with That's usually how it works. It's that's how
Speaker 1: it's supposed to work generally. So that's cameo dot com
Speaker 1: search my name Ben Mallory. If you want a personalized
Speaker 1: video message for I do weddings, bar mitzvah's uh, pep talks,
Speaker 1: battle cries, all of that, and it's available for you
Speaker 1: on cameo. What you consider doing a cameo for Kent summers. Oh,
Speaker 1: let me tell you. Uh, that is the fit to print.
Speaker 1: So let me just send it up. We have fit
Speaker 1: to print. We've got no breaks and pop quiz and
Speaker 1: we begin here the Saturday podcast with our show a
Speaker 1: rant on the radio becoming a news story in the
Speaker 1: state of Arizona. Uh, this is outstanding. So let's let's
Speaker 1: flash back to Monday night football and the Arizona Cardinals
Speaker 1: with a blowout win thirty eight to ten over the
Speaker 1: Dallas Cowboys, a convincing domination situation there and after the game. Now,
Speaker 1: I did a monologue on this guest gun. I don't know. Obviously,
Speaker 1: you react to what's going on in the sports world
Speaker 1: for twenty four hours of the last twenty four hours
Speaker 1: or so. So this obviously was the story we talked about.
Speaker 1: I did a rant, mostly about the Cowboys. I had
Speaker 1: about maybe three or four good minutes, if I remember,
Speaker 1: at the end of the monologue, which was dedicated to
Speaker 1: Kyler Murray, who was not only a quarterback, he was terrible,
Speaker 1: had a terrible performance for the Arizona Cardinals. And so
Speaker 1: that was on Monday night or Tuesday morning, depending on
Speaker 1: how you look. It was in the overnight. So all
Speaker 1: the way later went fast forward till Thursday, and I'm
Speaker 1: getting these notifications that the Arizona Republic, the newspaper of
Speaker 1: record in Phoenix, in the state of Arizona, ran a
Speaker 1: story and I I couldn't believe it. This is a
Speaker 1: thousand words story on our show and me ripping Kyler
Speaker 1: Murray's performance in the game against the Dallas Cowboys. And
Speaker 1: the tone was that there seemed to be very upset
Speaker 1: that I was not impressed gascon with Kyler Murray's performance
Speaker 1: against the Dallas Cowboys, and uh, it's hilarious. I had
Speaker 1: a smile from ear to ear. I could not believe
Speaker 1: the stupidity of what has gone on. I have friends
Speaker 1: that work in the newspaper business. What has gone on
Speaker 1: in the newspaper business. What have you done. I will
Speaker 1: admit that I I am one to defend Kyler Murray
Speaker 1: on the regular fan boy, but his performance on Monday
Speaker 1: night reminded me of what Kobe Bryant did in his
Speaker 1: Game seven against the Boston Celtics when they beat Boston
Speaker 1: in seven games. He shot six or twenty four in
Speaker 1: that game, and he would admit he shot like shit.
Speaker 1: Murray was nine of twenty four and it's not like
Speaker 1: the fifteen incompletions were just bad throws. He missed some
Speaker 1: wide open people, including DeAndre Hopkins, who was the best
Speaker 1: wide receiver in the National Football League, who was left
Speaker 1: unmolested at the line of scrimmage on multiple occasions. And
Speaker 1: this is the one of the worst defenses historically, one
Speaker 1: of the worst defenses in the history of pro football,
Speaker 1: which goes back a hundred years. That Dallas Cowboy defense
Speaker 1: and Kyler Murray for the balance of that game was garbage.
Speaker 1: And so I pointed it out, and I you know,
Speaker 1: I was watching. I was watching again. I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: taking some notes down, like you know, the chicken scratch
Speaker 1: on the game and Murray's performance and he kept missing
Speaker 1: receivers and I'm like, okay, and I'm going on and on.
Speaker 1: And then when the game ended, I went back and
Speaker 1: I crunched the numbers and realized that seventy four, almost
Speaker 1: seventy of Kyler Murray's passing yards came on two blown
Speaker 1: coverages by the Cowboys to Christian Kirk and eighty yard
Speaker 1: passed and DeAndre Hopkins a sixty yard passed. Outside of
Speaker 1: those two throws, right, we'll give him credit for that.
Speaker 1: We'll give Kyler a Patama back and odda boy for
Speaker 1: those two throws. Outside of that, the rest of the game,
Speaker 1: the other throws he made twenty two of them, he
Speaker 1: only completed seven of them for an average I had.
Speaker 1: I had typed this in three times to the to
Speaker 1: the calculator, kyla average two point one yards per pass
Speaker 1: attempt on his other twenty two throws in the game,
Speaker 1: and had a passer rating of forty one for the cards.
Speaker 1: So me pointing this out, I was like, to me,
Speaker 1: this is like a throwaway thing. You know, people know
Speaker 1: I'm the I don't like Kyler Murray. Guy. I'm critical
Speaker 1: of Kyler Murray and I'm taking some gratuitous cheap shots
Speaker 1: at him. But this he deserved it. He deserved it.
Speaker 1: I wasn't doing anything outrageous. I wasn't doing shock jock radio.
Speaker 1: The guys sucked. But so many people don't watch these games.
Speaker 1: They don't pay attention. They look at the final numbers
Speaker 1: and they see the totally oh you know, had he
Speaker 1: ran for a touchdown? He threw the touchdowns here, He's unstoppable.
Speaker 1: What another memorable performance, right, and going on another master
Speaker 1: work from Kyler Murray. I'm like, no, no, none of that,
Speaker 1: None of that is true, none of that. You know,
Speaker 1: this is not a goose bumps inducing performance. In fact,
Speaker 1: that is not as a sustainable formula for the Arizona Card.
Speaker 1: They're fraud. If that's how Kyler Murray is gonna play,
Speaker 1: they're not gonna go They're not gonna do anything. They're
Speaker 1: not gonna beat anybody good playing like that. So I
Speaker 1: did this rant and uh and like we said, the
Speaker 1: Arizona newspaper ran with I sent you this, so you
Speaker 1: did not actually click on the story. You thought it
Speaker 1: was right, Guescon. You did not realize what the story
Speaker 1: was when I sent this. No, I was guilty of
Speaker 1: of reading the title only and then through conversation. I
Speaker 1: started looking at it and bang, your name popped up
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, ship, there we go. My
Speaker 1: name is in the right in the lead. There. My name's.
Speaker 1: Radio host Ben Maller was not impressed with Arizona Cardinals
Speaker 1: quarterback Kyler Murray's performance in eight to ten when they
Speaker 1: know because on on Twitter on the text you had
Speaker 1: sent me, it says Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kyler Murray slam
Speaker 1: for poor performance versus Dallas Cowboys and nothing of you
Speaker 1: on there, and still not until I open it up
Speaker 1: and then hashed the memories from twenty nineteen when you
Speaker 1: had some reporters taking Yeah, well it's also I'd like
Speaker 1: to thank the Arizona Republic. I should be on their
Speaker 1: editorial staff because I'm providing content here for the Arizona Republic.
Speaker 1: I guess there's nothing to write about in Arizona apparently locally.
Speaker 1: My god. Uh so, yeah, yeah, it was. It was
Speaker 1: pretty amusing here I gotta kick out of it, and
Speaker 1: uh it was like, really, this is what you're doing.
Speaker 1: I talked to a couple of buddies of mine and
Speaker 1: radio who saw the story, and they were we were
Speaker 1: going back and forth and one of my buddies is
Speaker 1: a longtime radio guy, pointed out that we are at
Speaker 1: the point now as sports gas bags, where there is
Speaker 1: no room for any criticism of the hometown team. It is.
Speaker 1: It is totally tribal. It's like politics. Sports have become politics.
Speaker 1: Like there used to be a time where we could
Speaker 1: bust each other's balls and uh, and I still like
Speaker 1: doing that. I guess I'm too old now because I
Speaker 1: like busting balls on you know, when your team sucks
Speaker 1: and I I get it. Listen, I I talk a
Speaker 1: lot of crap. And when the Clippers go out and
Speaker 1: take a ride in the vomit comet against the Denver Nuggets,
Speaker 1: they deserve to get ripped. I deserve to get attacked.
Speaker 1: I'm fine, I'm fair game. But it cuts both ways, right,
Speaker 1: It's a double edged sword, and people can't handle that
Speaker 1: and they get all upset and it's it's it's really pathetic.
Speaker 1: But I mean it's we're talking about sports, especially in
Speaker 1: East is where it's it's obvious that it was like,
Speaker 1: you know, this guy was terrible, this was you know,
Speaker 1: this is incompetence. It was malfeasance by the quarterback. And
Speaker 1: I pointed out, I'm the bad guy. Come on, you're
Speaker 1: making it sound like it's a dereliction of duty. It
Speaker 1: wasn't that. I mean he averaged the eight he averaged
Speaker 1: what's seven point because because of the passes though, the
Speaker 1: dual threat quarterback. The thing that's the most important is
Speaker 1: the passing, the runnings, the extra part of it. The
Speaker 1: passing is the most important. The most important thing is
Speaker 1: getting points anyway, you're you're wrong, You're the most more
Speaker 1: thing the running. And we've seen these quarterbacks often get
Speaker 1: exposed like Lamar Jackson, people like you dumb fans look
Speaker 1: at and they look at Lamar Jackson, they're like these guys.
Speaker 1: Then in the playoffs they take that away and suddenly
Speaker 1: he's a jumbled mess, right, he's a hot mess in
Speaker 1: the playoffs. Well, that is one quarterback that's been the postseason.
Speaker 1: Kylin Murray hasn't yet, but I mean, he was great
Speaker 1: at Oklahoma. He's been good so far with Arizona. And
Speaker 1: there are a lot better than that would have been
Speaker 1: with Josh Rosenhead he stayed there in the Valley of
Speaker 1: the Sun. So you you don't know that if rosen
Speaker 1: had stayed and they'd have confidence him. You don't know
Speaker 1: that he wouldn't have blossomed into something. But I just
Speaker 1: love I'm just saying. I'd just saying that, and he's
Speaker 1: been been a bit of bad. Yeah, but these people
Speaker 1: that are like Pavlov's dogs when it comes to the
Speaker 1: hometown team stop. But you know this all too well.
Speaker 1: Being in Dodger Town, people gravitate towards Clayton Kershaw and
Speaker 1: god forbid. Oh and I listen, but that's a perfect example.
Speaker 1: I'm glad listen. I like the Dodges. A lot of
Speaker 1: people know my history. I did work for Dodger Talk
Speaker 1: years ago, and so I have a pass there. But
Speaker 1: I'll rip Kersha off. I had him traded after his
Speaker 1: NLCS started. I had him traded to Texas. I traded
Speaker 1: into the Rangers. I had Dave Roberts fired. Okay, I
Speaker 1: I the whole thing. I'm you know, maybe it was
Speaker 1: just slight overreactions, but I'd rather be like that desc
Speaker 1: on then Oh you could rip Cursea. I had a
Speaker 1: guy call up the other night on the show and
Speaker 1: was ranting and raving about how Kershaw was great. He's
Speaker 1: getting a bad rap, and I'm like, what are you
Speaker 1: talking about I know you're a dodging fan. You want
Speaker 1: to jump in the volcano because they tell you to
Speaker 1: jump in the volcano. But stop, don't be a blind sheep.
Speaker 1: You should never be a blind sheep. Ever, I like
Speaker 1: the Clippers when they suck, I say they suck. I stop,
Speaker 1: don't be a lemming. But here's here's the problem, though,
Speaker 1: is if you're a beat reporter, or if you're just
Speaker 1: a regular newspaper reporter that oftentimes report on general things
Speaker 1: like let's say, for Arizona, you go Dimondbacks, you go
Speaker 1: Arizona or Arizona State, and then you go obviously the
Speaker 1: Cardinals and maybe the Coyotes or even the Phoenix Suns.
Speaker 1: Like you want access to those teams. So if you
Speaker 1: start trashing them publicly in articles, you know how the
Speaker 1: media departments are, they will cut you off at the
Speaker 1: knees and you get granted minimal to know access. I
Speaker 1: understand how the game works, but there's a lot of
Speaker 1: fan boys. It's it's kind of like in politics, there's
Speaker 1: a lot of political people who are actually working for
Speaker 1: political parties who are masquerading as you know, as newspaper
Speaker 1: writers for different operations or reporters on television, but they're
Speaker 1: actually you know, in the tank. If you also I
Speaker 1: understand there's that you also have that element which is important.
Speaker 1: You you've got people that genuinely are you know, they
Speaker 1: might as well be on the payroll for the team.
Speaker 1: It's like I used to we used to talk years ago.
Speaker 1: I had an executive who who's like you, eventually everything's
Speaker 1: gonna be you know. It's like when you cover the Patriots,
Speaker 1: your Patriots dot Com. You know, you worked with the
Speaker 1: team and and even the newspapers and the TV stations.
Speaker 1: I had got a friend of mine in Kansas City
Speaker 1: told me that after the Chiefs game, I think it
Speaker 1: was in Buffalo, one of the TV reporters in Kansas
Speaker 1: City congratulated Andy Reid and his game plan before he
Speaker 1: asked his question like he was like, it's like total
Speaker 1: fanboy move, total fan boy move. So that stuff goes
Speaker 1: on all the time, but it really is. It travels
Speaker 1: and I I think I I sent this to you.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I did, but my one of
Speaker 1: my favorite scenes in the movie, asked an old movie now,
Speaker 1: is the opening scene of Major League Remember and the
Speaker 1: grounds crew is preparing the field there at the ballpark
Speaker 1: in Cleveland and they're like and they showed also there
Speaker 1: was a coffee shop and they're like, hey, how are
Speaker 1: the Indians gonna do this year? And they're like, they suck.
Speaker 1: They're still shitty. You know, they're still shitty, And uh,
Speaker 1: that's perfect, right, that's great. You know. One of the
Speaker 1: things I like about Minnesota sports fans is I feel
Speaker 1: like Minnesota still gets it. Like there's a lot of hey,
Speaker 1: we blow you know, the Vikings, how are they gonna
Speaker 1: lose this week? Or how are the Twins gonna blow
Speaker 1: it in the playoffs? Or you know what lottery pick
Speaker 1: of the Timberwolves gonna screw up? Like I appreciate that,
Speaker 1: but it's in towns like Phoenix and uh, you know,
Speaker 1: Cleveland and and some of these other cities that I've
Speaker 1: had battles with with the local newspapers. They have no concept,
Speaker 1: they have no concept of of this. They've they've It's
Speaker 1: total libelism, is what it is. You're either part of
Speaker 1: the tribe or you're not part of the tribe. And
Speaker 1: if you're not part of the tribe, we're gonna decapitate you.
Speaker 1: We're gonna take you to the guillotine. I think that's
Speaker 1: a good thing about how New York media is because
Speaker 1: you have so many beat writers that work for the
Speaker 1: Yankees or for the Knicks, or for the Rangers or
Speaker 1: the Jets, the Giants, that you're taking shots left and
Speaker 1: right if you're a head coach or a general manager,
Speaker 1: even the ownership group. And they don't fucking let down either.
Speaker 1: Like that's that city never sleeps. Those attackers, they hunt,
Speaker 1: they hunt. But even that, I will tell you, I'm
Speaker 1: not as familiar with the New York media as I
Speaker 1: am in the Boston media because of the stuff I
Speaker 1: did with the I back in the day. But even
Speaker 1: the Boston media, there are factions of fan boys. It's
Speaker 1: not as bulldogg ish as it was because because they, yeah,
Speaker 1: well the guess right, the Globe own or the Red
Speaker 1: Sox are on the on the Globe. John Henry I
Speaker 1: believe owns the Boston Globe, which is the big newspaper.
Speaker 1: Obviously it's the Herald and the Globe, and so you
Speaker 1: control the media. And also Nesson is run by the
Speaker 1: Red Sox. It's there, it's their baby, and so you know,
Speaker 1: you gotta gotta look out for my my relatives. My man,
Speaker 1: So how about this. Let let me throw this back
Speaker 1: your way. If you were if you were an owner
Speaker 1: or maybe even just a general manager of a professional team,
Speaker 1: and your said team owns an ownership stake in a
Speaker 1: radio or a television station, or even a newspaper like
Speaker 1: the you know, Washington Post or or whatever it may be,
Speaker 1: would you go behind everyone's back and go to the
Speaker 1: editor of the executive producer and just say, hey, turn
Speaker 1: the dogs loose on my guys. Be as critical as
Speaker 1: you can. That way you can motivate them to be
Speaker 1: as best as they can be. Yeah. No, because if
Speaker 1: you own it, Once the public knows that you own
Speaker 1: the website or the TV channel or the newspaper, it's over. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's over. I can't do it. But I get nobody
Speaker 1: wants criticism. You know. People want to be encouraged. They
Speaker 1: don't want to be discouraged. Nobody likes critique. Is fine.
Speaker 1: I thought it was. I thought criticism and critiquing and
Speaker 1: all that. I feel like it's kind of part of
Speaker 1: the gig. But maybe the gig has changed. I know
Speaker 1: there's a lot of hypocrisy out in the world these days.
Speaker 1: There's like this this double standard talk about sports but
Speaker 1: only do it in a positive light about my teams.
Speaker 1: You know. I was like, I really want you to
Speaker 1: talk about my team. I get that all the time.
Speaker 1: I get I get guys. You know that guy in
Speaker 1: Ohio they bust my balls. He's he's a Steeler fan.
Speaker 1: He's you know, near Pittsburgh in the Ohio, you know,
Speaker 1: at the far end of Ohio there, and he's like,
Speaker 1: you know, talk about the Steelers and all this stuff.
Speaker 1: And then you know, if I do do a monologue
Speaker 1: and then I rip him that, he'll have a coronary.
Speaker 1: You know, he'll have a court. How could you do that?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I can't believe it. I used to
Speaker 1: like you, and that it's it's it's tremendous. It is
Speaker 1: wonderful to be alive. It is great to be a
Speaker 1: love you. You've got to wear kid gloves all the
Speaker 1: time apparently to make it. But I get a kick
Speaker 1: out of it. I like the fact when I when
Speaker 1: I saw that story we were referencing here in the
Speaker 1: Arizona Republic, and I just thought it was great. It
Speaker 1: was like it was like getting a shoulder massage. Uh.
Speaker 1: It was because I'm never gonna get the meat. You know,
Speaker 1: people to slobber all over me. So this guy is
Speaker 1: the greatest, you know, talk show host of all time.
Speaker 1: Now that's for coward and people like that. I'm the guy,
Speaker 1: you know, throwing bombs in the middle of the night
Speaker 1: is essentially what I know. But I don't even realize
Speaker 1: I'm throwing bombs. That's the thing about a guess on Like,
Speaker 1: I don't think what I'm doing is all that you know,
Speaker 1: shock jockeish or anything like that. I'm just giving opinions
Speaker 1: about sporting events. I'm watching games, I'm taking down notes
Speaker 1: and giving opinions on what I watch. That's it. And
Speaker 1: you'd think that I am the scumbag of the world, right,
Speaker 1: I'm just a toolbag and I'm horrible and I'm a
Speaker 1: large pus filled cyst because I'm talking about these people
Speaker 1: the way. Yeah, I would interpret shock Shock Radio as
Speaker 1: like if you're critiquing like a you know, you're critiquing
Speaker 1: someone's attire like a reporter or a host, or attacking
Speaker 1: their attire or their presentation sexual orientation like bullshit like
Speaker 1: that that has nothing to do with sports as a
Speaker 1: whole or just even specific to an individual I think
Speaker 1: of that more is like shock jock, like I need
Speaker 1: to get a quick hit out of this. So it
Speaker 1: goes viral and all of a sudden, social media is say,
Speaker 1: on that low way or another, I'm on in the
Speaker 1: middle of the night. I'm just talking. There's no one listening.
Speaker 1: I'm just talking in the middle night. And these local
Speaker 1: guys who are insufferable, the local media, who's insufferable? Uh
Speaker 1: with this it's it's great. And as you pointed out, Estan,
Speaker 1: and I give you credit for this, because I don't
Speaker 1: even realize I was. I was reading that story we
Speaker 1: referenced in the Arizona Republic, and I didn't even realize
Speaker 1: that these these Schmendricks um in the valley of the stupid,
Speaker 1: not the value of the sun, the value of the
Speaker 1: stupid who wrote the story. They quoted me and put
Speaker 1: Alligator Arms in the newspaper. Alligator Arms Murray is in
Speaker 1: the Arizona Republic, the paper of record, which is flabbergasting. Uh.
Speaker 1: The nickname. The reason we call him alligator arms for you,
Speaker 1: you know, we the people, me and the Arizona Republic.
Speaker 1: The reason me and the newspaper Record in Arizona call
Speaker 1: him alligators Murray at the NFL scouting combine. Did he
Speaker 1: not have the shortest arms ever measured at the combine
Speaker 1: or close to it? Right? Remember that that was the
Speaker 1: thing they did, the wingspan, and he had the shortest
Speaker 1: little alligator arms. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna dignify
Speaker 1: those comments. This is great. Oh I feel like Fozzy
Speaker 1: Bear wacka waka waka when I see stuff like this.
Speaker 1: I mean, my god, is slapstick comedy. It is slapstick comedy.
Speaker 1: These these people, Let's run a story. Mallard ripped the
Speaker 1: hometown quarterback. Let's let's kill him. And I was a
Speaker 1: little disappointed because in the comments section when you sent
Speaker 1: me the article, there was only three comments. Oh no, no,
Speaker 1: you you gotta go on on the twitter. Uh yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm getting blowback from these slap dicks. Uh, these cardinal
Speaker 1: guys who were very upset, you know, the people I'm
Speaker 1: talking about, the low information fan. But even Murray said
Speaker 1: in the article that he was critical of himself and
Speaker 1: then he missed open guys exactly. But he only he's
Speaker 1: allowed to be critical. I can't be critical. Does anybody
Speaker 1: that's ever played football, watched football? Played Madden Football. Who's
Speaker 1: objective would say that is not a sustainable way to
Speaker 1: play quarterback in the NFL. You cannot win, you can't.
Speaker 1: It's unsustainable, right, it's untenable. Um, And so pointing that
Speaker 1: out and this is like a big thing. This is terrible.
Speaker 1: How did you do? That's like he are demanding a
Speaker 1: sugar rush, and they're demanding you know, it doesn't matter
Speaker 1: whether you're being accurate. They just want to hear ra
Speaker 1: Ra hometown, team ra Ra hometown. That's a dead end street. Though,
Speaker 1: I'm telling you it's a dead end street. Everyone knows.
Speaker 1: I don't know. This is bolton board material. Kylin Murray
Speaker 1: is four and two. Arizona is in great spot to Yes, yes, no,
Speaker 1: that I didn't think about that. I thought about like
Speaker 1: some like the owner of the Arizona Cardinals, you know,
Speaker 1: getting up an old guy reading the newspaper with this
Speaker 1: cup of coffee and a bagel and reading this and
Speaker 1: you know, regurgitating. I wish they had done the rant.
Speaker 1: One of my great Arizona Cardinal rants was when Cliff
Speaker 1: Kingsbury put the social media breaks in during during meetings. Oh,
Speaker 1: I did some of my greatest work, but that did
Speaker 1: not Unfortunately, that was not fit to print. I could
Speaker 1: not persuade the the hacks at the Arizona Republic to
Speaker 1: put that in unfortunately, so I'm in a weird and
Speaker 1: odd way for to end. I think the perfect nightmare
Speaker 1: scenario for you in the super Bowl would be Deshaun
Speaker 1: Watson and Kyler Murray Houston Arizona on the Super Bowl.
Speaker 1: That would be a hell of a year to like that.
Speaker 1: That would be impressive. Yes, especially considering Houston's one in
Speaker 1: five to start the year, that would be outstanding. Yes,
Speaker 1: that would be great. Good luck on that. This tops
Speaker 1: the gall bladder, This tops biting your tongue after you
Speaker 1: burn pizza. What about the ships? What about the ships?
Speaker 1: Stop the ships? I had the ships since I had
Speaker 1: my gall bladder taken out. We're coming up after the
Speaker 1: anniversary show of my gall bladder being taken out, which
Speaker 1: is coming up November three, which I believe there's something
Speaker 1: else going on that's slight more importance. But what am
Speaker 1: I to say? For me, that's the most important thing.
Speaker 1: But but yeah, this is over under one and a
Speaker 1: half more articles written about you before the end of
Speaker 1: the year. Oh of if I just do rants about
Speaker 1: the Arizona Cardinals. I guess that's I'll take the over.
Speaker 1: How wh what do we got? It's football season? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I did anybody in Houston right when I was ripping
Speaker 1: the Astros. I don't know if anybody wrote a story
Speaker 1: about that in Houston. I know some Houston media guys
Speaker 1: were upset with me one and I'll take the over
Speaker 1: on that. I think I'm I'm good for at least
Speaker 1: one more, and I think I can you know my
Speaker 1: day of reckoning. I think I can get another one, okay,
Speaker 1: because you only get Arizona one more time in prime time.
Speaker 1: So that's that's why I'm asking, because typically monologues on
Speaker 1: Sundays to money. I could see I could see Tampa
Speaker 1: doing something, you know, I take a shot at Brady.
Speaker 1: I could see somebody in Tampa. But I only do
Speaker 1: this if they deserve it. Gist. I want you to
Speaker 1: know I'm fair and balanced. So I get I'm not.
Speaker 1: I'm not down there. I'm like, I'm not like a
Speaker 1: snake in the grass just waiting to eviserate. I'm not.
Speaker 1: I get that. Yeah, I get that. I'm just I'm
Speaker 1: curious of where this goes because it's not like you're,
Speaker 1: like you said, your your audience, it has a specific
Speaker 1: leap pattern or lack of sleep pattern. So someone was
Speaker 1: obviously monitoring you or the show at that time. Well,
Speaker 1: one of the cool things I've noticed here is that,
Speaker 1: you know, people say, I love the Christian what are
Speaker 1: you doing overnight show? No one's up at four in
Speaker 1: the morning. And it's true, most people aren't up at
Speaker 1: four in the morning. I get that. But now the
Speaker 1: great equalizer has been the fact that we're doing these
Speaker 1: videos online and and so that that really is the
Speaker 1: equalizer now because now it's not just an overnight show.
Speaker 1: Now we've got our boomerang out and we've got our
Speaker 1: catapult and our crossbow and our mullet uh and or
Speaker 1: musket or whatever, and we're just we're shooting bombs during
Speaker 1: the day. It would be kind of we did have
Speaker 1: a mullet, wouldn't mind a mullet at all, man, that
Speaker 1: would be good. But but so like before being the
Speaker 1: overnight guy, the way it works the pecking order, you're
Speaker 1: holding the butter knife. You're holding the butter knife when
Speaker 1: you're doing the overnight show. But because of social media
Speaker 1: and the Internet and these videos that we've been doing
Speaker 1: for the I T Department, um for Elijah and those guys.
Speaker 1: Now instead of holding a butter knife, we're holding a
Speaker 1: machete and every once in a while we get to
Speaker 1: hold the Samurai sword. So it's it's we've gone up.
Speaker 1: We're no longer just holding the butter and we got
Speaker 1: the machete and occasionally the samurai the Samurai swords. So
Speaker 1: that's cool, that's neat. We're swashbuckling, right, We're going through
Speaker 1: the machete, we're walking through the Amazon and we're chopping
Speaker 1: down trees and yeah, you were, you were getting decimated
Speaker 1: on social media on that, on that, Oh, I know,
Speaker 1: it's great, A right, I love it, man, It's it's
Speaker 1: it's I I this stupid pity. I know a lot
Speaker 1: of it's like algorithms and and all that, but I
Speaker 1: think it's pretty funny that people who are just uneducated
Speaker 1: rubes do that. If it was they don't even they
Speaker 1: don't even realize that, they don't even realize that. Every
Speaker 1: one of those I laugh when I see this. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if it was my quarterback, I would be piste off
Speaker 1: and he was missing white open guys they put up
Speaker 1: thirty eight points on Dallas. They should have blown them
Speaker 1: up by fifth or your forty at least. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: was twenty four of those thirty eight points where the
Speaker 1: direct result of of mistakes by the cowboyssections fumbles the
Speaker 1: game out with like a sixty year run. Yeah exactly.
Speaker 1: That was where you're just trying to run out the
Speaker 1: clock and the defense laid up. And yeah. So really,
Speaker 1: if you do the math on this, twenty four points
Speaker 1: off turnovers. So the Arizona offense without the assist of
Speaker 1: the Cowboys generated fourteen points. Yeah. And and one of those, uh,
Speaker 1: they was that Kenyan Drake touchdown. Was that after a
Speaker 1: turnover or was that? I don't think that was after
Speaker 1: a turnover. No, it was after a touchdown, the touchdown
Speaker 1: from Dallas, So that doesn't even count. So really only
Speaker 1: one touchdown the Arizona offense generated. It was not either
Speaker 1: off an interception, fumble or just the Cowboy defense not
Speaker 1: even trying. So I'm gonna like them in the World
Speaker 1: Wild Card Game anyway, So good luck there right now.
Speaker 1: Dont think they're a payoff teams, so you're you're screwed. Uh,
Speaker 1: what's what I say? It's weeks six. It gives a ship.
Speaker 1: I give a ship. I care, am I not my
Speaker 1: chop deliver here my minced meat. No, but it's it's
Speaker 1: week six, so he cares about if the playoffs started today,
Speaker 1: there four and two. I care. I look at that
Speaker 1: every week. You don't look at the playoff matchups and
Speaker 1: if we're gonna have you have some good matchups. There
Speaker 1: was only one by now that that's a big thing, right,
Speaker 1: the only one team gets to buy that's big. But
Speaker 1: part of it's because the NFC East just sucks. Since
Speaker 1: I'm not worried about like playoff position. Actually, Arizona, excuse me,
Speaker 1: they are. They are in the playoffs Arizona because they
Speaker 1: have that those extra teams in there, so they are in. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's right. I realized that the win over the Cowboys
Speaker 1: catapulted them in. Yeah, very very excited. I'm looking at
Speaker 1: the playoff matchups as of right now. Would be if
Speaker 1: we started today. If we started today, you have the
Speaker 1: Rams and the Bears, who play Monday night would be
Speaker 1: a playoff game right now. Arrow Zona would play Tampa,
Speaker 1: Green Bay would play Dallas. That subject to the outcome
Speaker 1: of that Thursday night game. As we're doing this. We
Speaker 1: don't know the outcome of the Thursday night game. And
Speaker 1: then the a f C would have Indianapolis Tennessee, Cleveland
Speaker 1: would be at Kansas City, and Baltimore at Buffalo. That
Speaker 1: would be good. That would guarantee if see, that would
Speaker 1: suck because that would guarantee either Lamar Jackson or uh
Speaker 1: the the Bills alan win a game in the in
Speaker 1: the playoffs. So Josh Allen or Lamar Jackson would be
Speaker 1: guaranteed a playoff win. Yeah, alright, not moving on. Guess
Speaker 1: I'm moving on. We have no breaks, no breaks, no
Speaker 1: days off, no segments off, none of that. So that
Speaker 1: the other night this is breaks b R E A
Speaker 1: K S right, not b R A K E S. Yes, yes, exactly.
Speaker 1: I don't like the car. This is so the other night.
Speaker 1: If you listen to the radio show The Hiccups, all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, you you probably heard this. So we
Speaker 1: had some more radio drama on the overnight. Now you
Speaker 1: usually this involves gascon not knowing how to screen calls
Speaker 1: or not knowing how to put calls in the air.
Speaker 1: But this time, the other night, I was putting the
Speaker 1: finishing touches on a Marconi worthy amount of monologue, and
Speaker 1: as I'm winding down the monologue, I give out the number.
Speaker 1: I usually do that at the end of the monologue
Speaker 1: and say, you know, send us messages, you know, come on,
Speaker 1: militia whatever, rah ra, do the old battle cry. So
Speaker 1: I did that, give out the number. And I was
Speaker 1: about to do my tease. I like to tease something
Speaker 1: I'm gonna talk about later in the hour. You tease
Speaker 1: to please, right, tease, you gotta please. And so then
Speaker 1: this voice pops up in my headphones. Don't break, keep going.
Speaker 1: It's the voice of God. No, it's Cooper Loop telling
Speaker 1: me not to break. So obviously something is going on.
Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on at this point, so
Speaker 1: I start rambling. I you know, I was kind of
Speaker 1: ready to wind down, and I start to rambling about jibbers.
Speaker 1: I think I read some comments on Twitter. UM. And
Speaker 1: so keep in mind, I'm in the remote FSR studios
Speaker 1: at the Mallard Mansion, so I'm totally in the dark
Speaker 1: on what's going on. Totally I don't know what's going on. UM,
Speaker 1: but I gotta kill time because you know, that's the deal.
Speaker 1: We're doing commercial free radio. UM. And it turns out
Speaker 1: that the main computer system that are engineers such as Roberto,
Speaker 1: use to play all of the sound effects, the music,
Speaker 1: and most importantly the spots a k a. The commercials.
Speaker 1: You know why they're called spots, by the way, guest,
Speaker 1: And you know where they call commercial spots and radio
Speaker 1: I do not because in the old days, when we
Speaker 1: used carts, there would be a little they would be
Speaker 1: color coded by a numbered, but they'd be color coded
Speaker 1: with different colored spots, those little little dots, you know,
Speaker 1: those little sticker dots and a little spots. So it
Speaker 1: takes some you know, the green a couple of green spots,
Speaker 1: red spot, it's blue spots whatever, but their number but different. Anyway,
Speaker 1: uh so talk about a non secretary. So so anyway,
Speaker 1: we didn't have any commercials. They didn't pooped the bed.
Speaker 1: And Roberto's running around like a banshee trying to figure
Speaker 1: out what the hell is going on, and so I'm
Speaker 1: I'm just talking la la la la la la la
Speaker 1: la la la la la la. And apparently he had
Speaker 1: to go out of that studio. He had to go
Speaker 1: down the hall. He had to patch some things. He
Speaker 1: goes down the hall, turns right then he had to
Speaker 1: do a left and then another turn and he walks
Speaker 1: down the hallway to this other room with the master
Speaker 1: control the backup, and he was able to play some commercials.
Speaker 1: He we had no bumper music for most of that hour.
Speaker 1: We did it dry. We did it dry, threw to Eddie.
Speaker 1: There was no sound effects or anything like that. It
Speaker 1: was about thirty minutes, about thirty minutes where we did
Speaker 1: have some commercials because it was fired remotely. But then
Speaker 1: the thing reset and was able to get it fixed.
Speaker 1: And it's the magic of live radio, my man. They
Speaker 1: say the show must go on. You gotta keep on trucking,
Speaker 1: guest on, you gotta keep on trucking. That's not the
Speaker 1: record Me and Looney back in the day on the Blitz.
Speaker 1: The system went in the toilet and circled the drain
Speaker 1: and we ended up doing I believe the record is
Speaker 1: forty five minutes or so of commercial free radio on
Speaker 1: Fox Sports Radio, no breaks, no nothing, because everything was broken.
Speaker 1: But how it's difficult is that it's no different from
Speaker 1: you know, like that's doing TV right outside of just
Speaker 1: having picture content and you can reference what do you
Speaker 1: what do you mean? What are you talking about? Well,
Speaker 1: like if you're doing forty five minutes a commercial free radio. Like,
Speaker 1: how challenging is that for to you? Or no? It's not.
Speaker 1: If I'm no, I I don't mind. I'm not. If
Speaker 1: I'm prepared for it, I don't mind. But I'm not
Speaker 1: prepared for It's like if you say, hey, you know
Speaker 1: do this, but then okay, well you gotta just on
Speaker 1: the fly, right adapter die, You go with the tide
Speaker 1: wherever the tide takes you, right you? You texted me
Speaker 1: parts of that story a few days ago, and as
Speaker 1: you texted me that story, it was like text by text.
Speaker 1: I was actually watching a YouTube video on most extreme
Speaker 1: landings at airports. I don't know why I brought that up,
Speaker 1: but it was like pretty that's that's also non sequity.
Speaker 1: It was, but it just made me think of that,
Speaker 1: like how horrific that would be if you're not. Because
Speaker 1: you've told me you've had instances like in your younger
Speaker 1: days where you weren't prepared and so that's why you
Speaker 1: over prepare. Now yes, yes, uh, the first radio show
Speaker 1: I ever did was by myself, by myself. I've done radio,
Speaker 1: and I had done radio with partners and in different people.
Speaker 1: The Great loose hours, last Call Lou We called them
Speaker 1: back in the day, Lee Kleine, and a bunch of
Speaker 1: other people in my early days. But the first show
Speaker 1: I did by myself was like a Saturday morning, and
Speaker 1: I had prepared and prepared and prepared, and I came
Speaker 1: him out and I just nailed my monologue, my first
Speaker 1: ever Malon monologue by myself, put my big boy pants on.
Speaker 1: I just killed it, and I gave out the number,
Speaker 1: and I had prepared nothing else for the rest of
Speaker 1: the show, and uh, and I started having the flop sweat.
Speaker 1: And I put so much effort into the to the
Speaker 1: beginning of it. I did not even didn't even go
Speaker 1: into my brain that there's like another three hours you
Speaker 1: have to fill here. So it was a problem. I
Speaker 1: might remember. The program director that day was Bo Bennett,
Speaker 1: and he's in there watching, you know. He came in.
Speaker 1: Great job, man, you really did a good job of
Speaker 1: the monologue. And I can only imagine if he kept
Speaker 1: listening what he was thinking after that, how bad it was.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I said, never again, never again. I go
Speaker 1: into every show not needing Eddie to say anything, Coop Roberto,
Speaker 1: not needing any callers. I always have enough material to
Speaker 1: kill the time. And that is That is my promise.
Speaker 1: That is my promise. Yeah, you went from two pump
Speaker 1: chump to a little d rance. That's good. I'm proud
Speaker 1: of you. I think most people start out like that, guest,
Speaker 1: and I think that's usually how that works, and build
Speaker 1: up some endurance and some you know usually no, well,
Speaker 1: maybe you haven't built up some endurance. You want to
Speaker 1: talk about that. There's a pill for that if you want,
Speaker 1: there is, But I don't feel like being like that
Speaker 1: for four hours. Yeah, it's all about perseverance. Guess it's
Speaker 1: all about perseverance. You gotta persist, you gotta right, you
Speaker 1: gotta be determined. Not in this year. We don't do
Speaker 1: that anymore. Right that that's that's shamed. If you show
Speaker 1: any kind of persistence or or a tough skin, thick skin,
Speaker 1: that that's that's condemned. You're supposed to give up, is
Speaker 1: what you're supposed to do, right, You're supposed to tap out.
Speaker 1: That is no moss. It's never supposed to be grueling.
Speaker 1: Life is never supposed to be grueling. You cannot be
Speaker 1: stressed out at all. No, no, no no, it's roll speaking
Speaker 1: of being stressed out. I had some. I had some
Speaker 1: your your fanboys and Syco fans that we're actually begging
Speaker 1: you now to barbecue Tomahawk. I really appreciate those guys
Speaker 1: on my behalf kind of reaching out and saying it's time,
Speaker 1: it's time. I did like the I did like the
Speaker 1: hard o move of you tweeting out steaks. What a
Speaker 1: you know, what a narcissistic, insufferable dick David Yes, cooking
Speaker 1: for the fan parents, brother in law, anyone else that
Speaker 1: wanted to come over. I was, I was. I was
Speaker 1: meriting the steaks differently, and then I did scalops along
Speaker 1: the way. It's a little surfing turf action, and I was.
Speaker 1: I was happy about the performance. Yeah, I don't like
Speaker 1: the surfing turf. I'm not a fan. You don't like scalops. No,
Speaker 1: I don't like shrimp. I don't like I don't like fish.
Speaker 1: I don't I'm not a fish guy. The only fish
Speaker 1: I eat is beer battered beer battered. Well. I used
Speaker 1: to eat too I was a kid, but that. I
Speaker 1: don't even like tuna because my mom fed it to
Speaker 1: me every other day when I was in elementary school.
Speaker 1: My stupid metal lunch boxes eat peanut butter and jelly,
Speaker 1: which I still like. I just I don't need it
Speaker 1: much anymore as an adult. And then it was it
Speaker 1: was tuna fish dangwich. I don't warm warm tuna exactly
Speaker 1: because by you know, my mom may she rested peace.
Speaker 1: She did not quite realize she put a little ice
Speaker 1: pack in there. But by the time the ice pack
Speaker 1: those in those early ice packs, it didn't last. You
Speaker 1: drop your kid off at school at seven thirty in
Speaker 1: the morning, and you have lunch at twelve thirty, and
Speaker 1: that thing is is you know, and you usually they'd
Speaker 1: have us put our lunch boxes like outside back in
Speaker 1: the old days, outside the classroom. Just put your lunch
Speaker 1: boxes out there because nobody stole anything. And uh yeah,
Speaker 1: it's really great. How that you eat a warm tuna
Speaker 1: fish sandwich. The way the mayonnaise kind of works in
Speaker 1: with the tuna fish and the smell. It's just great,
Speaker 1: just wonderful. Can we get to some of the pop quiz. Yes,
Speaker 1: let's do a few pop quiz because your actual questions
Speaker 1: from actual well not these are things I found on
Speaker 1: the internet. These are not actual questions for actual people,
Speaker 1: all right, and you can play along you can play along.
Speaker 1: So thirteen you're listening. Thirteen percent of people seeking a
Speaker 1: divorce cited this as the reason. No, Uh, their partner
Speaker 1: doesn't text enough? Is that allowed? Is that a reason
Speaker 1: not to be married anymore? That your partner does not text?
Speaker 1: Not anymore? I mean you're stuck in doors of that
Speaker 1: person now? Or are you stuck indoors? Who knows? In California?
Speaker 1: You are with the monarchy in California. But it's possible
Speaker 1: in Michigan. Yeah, well Michigan. But if you blow the
Speaker 1: Mason Dixon line, you're not right. That's true alright. A
Speaker 1: recent survey says, and this is upsetting to me, A
Speaker 1: recent survey says, you will find this inside the refrigerator
Speaker 1: and of homes in America right now. Um, I can't ranch? Yes?
Speaker 1: How horrible is that? How sad? For what a sad
Speaker 1: I think snapshot of American I think I saw you
Speaker 1: earlier in the week twitting out one of your listeners
Speaker 1: that was eating a Ben Mallard sandwich with ranch all
Speaker 1: over it. Right, Uh, no, that was not ranch. Again,
Speaker 1: you're not good at this. That's a bad job by you.
Speaker 1: You look at that photo closer, Okay, because can you
Speaker 1: you can you put it up there? That's that from
Speaker 1: the sports Book Bar and Grill in Denver, right, there's
Speaker 1: two locations, by the way, do you know there's two locations.
Speaker 1: There's two locations. There's two locations. Yeah, exactly. Anyway, so
Speaker 1: the sports Book Bar and Grill, and you you look
Speaker 1: there at the menu. Now that what you're looking at here,
Speaker 1: guesscan is the most perfect chicken sandwich you can possibly have,
Speaker 1: the most perfect chicken sandwich you can possibly have. Uh,
Speaker 1: that is perfection, is what it is. And that is
Speaker 1: not ranch dressing. Let me be very very clear here.
Speaker 1: This is not ranch dressing. Uh that you want to
Speaker 1: take a guess what that is on top there? Boy? Yes,
Speaker 1: that is correct. So then here's my question. Is looking
Speaker 1: at the time stamp of when that tweet was sent
Speaker 1: to you, that is the Mallard Buffalo chicken sandwich. Why
Speaker 1: did why did you not cuts him out for sending
Speaker 1: you food porn because my name's on it? Dummy? Why
Speaker 1: would I curse somebody out when they it's a sandwich
Speaker 1: with my name on it? Because there's a beer? Yeah,
Speaker 1: just perfect. Listen, that is a fried chicken breast tossed
Speaker 1: in hot sauce with blue cheese dressing, lettuce and tomato,
Speaker 1: big a side of fried that's a that's a wonderful
Speaker 1: sandwich right there, and uh it's it's great and that
Speaker 1: they have a lot of good stuff on the menu there,
Speaker 1: But I think the Mallard sandwich, the Mallard buffalo chicken
Speaker 1: sandwich is by far the best thing on the menu
Speaker 1: that can get tater tots, onion rings, all the proper
Speaker 1: all the proper sides there. I'm gonna go to Denver
Speaker 1: just to eat at that local. There's two. There's one
Speaker 1: in uh eat actual Denver proper and then the original
Speaker 1: one is in Greenwood Village, Colorado, which obviously in the
Speaker 1: same area there in Denver. Yeah, so all right, let's
Speaker 1: see one in five single people will use this picture
Speaker 1: as one of their online dating profile pictures. What is it?
Speaker 1: A business head shot? No Halloween costume? That's fucking lamb.
Speaker 1: Why is it lame? I disagree with you? Maybe tell
Speaker 1: you something my wife when I met her, I met
Speaker 1: her first started in I met her online, and she
Speaker 1: had a photo. Women's Halloween costumes are very sexy, a
Speaker 1: little bit different, That's what I'm saying. No by women
Speaker 1: put on Halloween costumes, are you know, showing off with
Speaker 1: their mama gave them? You know not not not shameful
Speaker 1: about that? All right? Uh? Sale nor suldn't they be?
Speaker 1: Sales of this item are up over two this year.
Speaker 1: What is toilet paper? Now? This one's odd? Pinball machines? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just like w NBA ratings going up because three
Speaker 1: more people watched. Is that? Is it the same same concert? Up?
Speaker 1: Is it? I don't know? Thank you? Yes, all right.
Speaker 1: A News survey says more than Americans have no idea
Speaker 1: how to do this with their car or truck. What
Speaker 1: is it? I would say, either change the tire or
Speaker 1: change the oil. No, jump start the car. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: pretty easy. Like I'm old though I learned how to
Speaker 1: do that. I mean when I learned how drive, Like
Speaker 1: my mom and dad were like, you have to learn
Speaker 1: how to change a tire and you have to learn
Speaker 1: how to jump start the car. But that was back
Speaker 1: before we had apps. Were at a moment's notice, the
Speaker 1: you know, the tow truck will show up at your
Speaker 1: doorstep and the auto club but whatever you use. So
Speaker 1: do you know how to jump start a car? Guess?
Speaker 1: Have you ever jump started a car? I have, Yes,
Speaker 1: I've I have. Also, I think there's you can. There's
Speaker 1: nothing scarier though, than trying to change a tire on
Speaker 1: the shoulder of a frua. That ship is fucking scary. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I did that one time in San Diego. I was driving.
Speaker 1: I was working in San Diego and my my tire,
Speaker 1: the I think it was the back rear tire blew
Speaker 1: out on the eight I was the eight oh five
Speaker 1: and anyway, I got I pull over and yeah, the
Speaker 1: cars were zooming by, and I'm like, all right, I
Speaker 1: gotta change this tire, and like, I'm not changing the tire.
Speaker 1: I tried, and I just I waited for a tow truck.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm not gonna do it with the driver
Speaker 1: driver's side. I assume, uh, yeah, it must have been driving.
Speaker 1: I thought it was the background. I don't remember. I
Speaker 1: must it was close enough to the highway where I was.
Speaker 1: I had the heebie geebs, so I don't actually remember which.
Speaker 1: I might have been the back rear tire, but it
Speaker 1: was just you know, there's no room there on the
Speaker 1: side of the road. You're like, right, the cars. All
Speaker 1: it takes is one jackass, one donkey to hit you
Speaker 1: and your boom. You're done, lights out, all right. A
Speaker 1: new survey says more than of Americans have no idea.
Speaker 1: We just did that one nearly here we go nearly
Speaker 1: twenty saying, her parents say they've saved at least one
Speaker 1: of these from their kid. When your child was a
Speaker 1: baby teeth no a bib? Oh did your parents save
Speaker 1: a little guest? Gone bibe? I don't think so. No.
Speaker 1: I was a fucking mess, though. Well, isn't every kid
Speaker 1: a fucking mess when they're little kids? My sisters weren't.
Speaker 1: I was, huh? I mean my mom saved everything, man,
Speaker 1: she kept everything. Yeah, when it comes to you know,
Speaker 1: she loved their kids so much. Everything baby, book, teeth, hair,
Speaker 1: your name, a trophy, trophies. Yeah, all right. Calling to
Speaker 1: a recent survey, what is the one thing people judge
Speaker 1: about your home? Your bathroom, or your kitchen, No, no
Speaker 1: kicking another guess your entertainment center, dude. Due, Now that's
Speaker 1: what West of the four or five people do. See.
Speaker 1: This is the difference. This is the dichotomy. West of
Speaker 1: the four or five is guests gun the rest of
Speaker 1: us simpletons, the rest of his simpletons. Don't believe. No,
Speaker 1: I'm a bathroom and kitchen guy. That's what I was asking. No. No,
Speaker 1: the number one thing people judge your home on when
Speaker 1: you go to somebody else's home is the smells. Smell. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the smell. Does it smell good? So for you you
Speaker 1: should light like a vanilla candle or something so it
Speaker 1: smells good, guest gun rather than your flatulence. I got
Speaker 1: the those humidifiers and I put like the little you know,
Speaker 1: like the little fragrance drops in there. It's usually good.
Speaker 1: They are they fruity? No, Like there's one that's like
Speaker 1: coated for like alert alarm immunity. Um, let's say you
Speaker 1: put them in the water and yeah, it kind of
Speaker 1: livens up the room, but doesn't have like some kind
Speaker 1: of pungent or the stink tasteful smell to it. No, alright,
Speaker 1: people who do this at least ten times a month
Speaker 1: say they experienced withdrawal symptoms if their routine is stopped.
Speaker 1: What is it drinking? No, No, it's not drinking or
Speaker 1: drugs tanning? Who would tan ten times a month? Doesn't
Speaker 1: that seem a little excessive? Yeah, but we go Am
Speaker 1: I wrong? I don't know that I don't know the
Speaker 1: tanning game, but that seems a little, a little excessive
Speaker 1: to Yeah, we've got a lot of people at tan
Speaker 1: out here though you live in California. Why the funk
Speaker 1: would you need to tan? Because people, you know how
Speaker 1: it is. It's instant gratification like it is for Facebook
Speaker 1: or Twitter or anything else. They people want to quick,
Speaker 1: they don't want to wait. Now I'm gonna ask you,
Speaker 1: and this is a very important question. All right. If
Speaker 1: you don't get this right, I'm gonna slap you around.
Speaker 1: Don't be a slaptic Greatest sun tan story in sports history,
Speaker 1: all right, guest, gun, here we go. This involves tanning.
Speaker 1: Greatest sports story involving tann Do you have the answer? Oh, fun,
Speaker 1: you don't have the answer, and I have on the
Speaker 1: tip of my tongue too. That's right, I don't believe you.
Speaker 1: Goes back to the year twenty two, early days of
Speaker 1: Fox Sports Radio, and a Baltimore Oriole outfielder not more
Speaker 1: known as a Minnesota twin, Marty Cordova, was injured, got
Speaker 1: a severe sunburn. He fell asleep in a tanning bed. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and he had to direct he had to Doctors told
Speaker 1: him to avoid direct sunlight, and so he was benched.
Speaker 1: He couldn't play for several games. They didn't put him
Speaker 1: on the on the injured list, but or the disabled
Speaker 1: list as they called it then. But Marty cord Over
Speaker 1: missed multiple games because of a sunburn from falling asleep
Speaker 1: in a tanning bed. There you go, that's pretty good.
Speaker 1: I don't remember that story. It's a good story, man,
Speaker 1: that's I can't believe it's been eighteen years. Man, we
Speaker 1: had so much fun with that. I was doing Ben
Speaker 1: Mallard dot com at that time, and we had a
Speaker 1: We had a lot of traction. People love that story.
Speaker 1: They couldn't get enough of it. All Right, if you
Speaker 1: if you, if you rent Ben Mallard dot com today,
Speaker 1: do you think it would be better than it was
Speaker 1: back in the day. Um, it would be different. I
Speaker 1: think it would be good. Um, I have confidence I
Speaker 1: could find fine. So there's there's more content out there,
Speaker 1: but it's more spread out, so it's different. Bed. If
Speaker 1: somebody wants to bring back Ben mallet dot com, my
Speaker 1: ears are open. Everyone's got their price. Everyone's got their price.
Speaker 1: You know that the price is right. Let's make a deal.
Speaker 1: I'd be willing to do it, and I'd be all
Speaker 1: about it. Remember one of my my buddies who's a
Speaker 1: basketball writer and was a huge fan of Ben Mallet
Speaker 1: dot com love the website, and uh, he would come
Speaker 1: up to me and destroy me about how I I
Speaker 1: fucked up because at that time it was like, uh,
Speaker 1: dead Spin was big, and there were a couple of
Speaker 1: other sides, and all these other sites that were my
Speaker 1: contemporaries all sold and got these huge deals, these shoes revenue,
Speaker 1: like the Big Lead and all that monitor, you know,
Speaker 1: and I never did, Like I had partnerships with Fox
Speaker 1: sports dot com and Yahoo, but I never really I
Speaker 1: never sold it the proprietory rights to it. I never
Speaker 1: really made any real money on it. And the guy
Speaker 1: you would bust my balls about how I didn't monetize that,
Speaker 1: and he's right, I I don't know what's said it.
Speaker 1: He's correct. Yeah, that's all. It's kind of curious if
Speaker 1: your if your stuff would would play out now. And
Speaker 1: I think because I think the key thing to this
Speaker 1: and and it's kind of like with Ben Mallay dot com,
Speaker 1: it's it's making it's finding a problem and creating solution.
Speaker 1: There's so many things out there on Twitter and social
Speaker 1: media and websites. Like people who have lives, like real jobs,
Speaker 1: don't have time to go through that all that content
Speaker 1: to mind what's good And so as you cultivate content
Speaker 1: and you put it together, it's you're making it easier
Speaker 1: on people. That's true. So people would absolutely love it
Speaker 1: because instead of reading, you know, trying to scan around
Speaker 1: for seven million different places to find you know, what,
Speaker 1: what the news is, you just go to one place
Speaker 1: and it's all it's all piled up for all. Right.
Speaker 1: I think we've done this one before, but if time
Speaker 1: travel were possible, fifty of us would change this about
Speaker 1: our lives. You remember what this is, guest. I think
Speaker 1: we've used this one before. Who we dated? Not changing
Speaker 1: your college major? Noah, al right, About seventy two of
Speaker 1: Americans live within an hour of blank. They're we'll live
Speaker 1: an hour h within their parents. Yes, I do. Shout
Speaker 1: out to my brothers who lived thousands of miles away
Speaker 1: from our our only living parents, my father. Well today
Speaker 1: it's an hour. Today it's an hour, but tomorrow it
Speaker 1: could be two or three hours. Well, that's true. Well,
Speaker 1: if I go, if I go like four in the morning,
Speaker 1: it's it's an hour. But if I go an yeah,
Speaker 1: uh you live, you live within an hour of your
Speaker 1: your parents. Yes, my grandmother, um, well one of them,
Speaker 1: she's the only one that's still alive. Um. But my
Speaker 1: sisters are all out and who else. Most of my
Speaker 1: other family that has all been from l A. They've
Speaker 1: all dispersed, like in the Utah, Idaho, Arizona, Florida. Like
Speaker 1: everyone's like gotten the funk out of California. Good for them.
Speaker 1: My cousins who I grew up with part of the time,
Speaker 1: they moved around a lot, but I lived with him
Speaker 1: when I was a little they are I've got relatives
Speaker 1: in Arizona, Colorado, Florida, Texas, Connecticut. They've moved all over
Speaker 1: the country, well Connecticut, over the country by Connecticut. Uh
Speaker 1: well that is because they when they were kids, they
Speaker 1: lived in New York. They lived in Westchester County, and
Speaker 1: so that cousin moved back there because she likes she
Speaker 1: liked living in that area. But she just moved over
Speaker 1: to Connecticut. And uh yeah, so what's that famous story
Speaker 1: in Westchester County? What am I thinking of? They made
Speaker 1: a God, I'm having a mental block here. Not the
Speaker 1: headless Horseman, but something like that. I don't remember, but
Speaker 1: there's some famous story. There's a bridge and all that,
Speaker 1: and I they lived right near there. They they lived
Speaker 1: in Terrytown, which is north think the Nicks used to train.
Speaker 1: I don't know if they still do. They used to
Speaker 1: train in Terrytown. Do you and do you go out
Speaker 1: there at all? I used to visit when I was kids.
Speaker 1: I mean, they don't live there, and my my aunt
Speaker 1: passed away and they you know, they moved all over
Speaker 1: the country. So yeah, but I used to go back
Speaker 1: there when I was a kid and go back to
Speaker 1: New York and hang out with them up Hollow. Is
Speaker 1: that what you're thinking about, Yes, Sleepy Hollow, that's it,
Speaker 1: thank you, Yes, Sleepy Hollow. That's what I was thinking
Speaker 1: about that. You guess Halloween time. Nothing wrong with that,
Speaker 1: full of you, full of information. That that cool area though.
Speaker 1: That that's the nice thing about it. As you can
Speaker 1: go Boston, Connecticut, New York, Philly, d C. With the train,
Speaker 1: Rhode Island, you name it, you know, anywhere you want there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it is neat. It's it's cool. A lot different here.
Speaker 1: You can drive for eight hours and still be in California.
Speaker 1: You know, it's like, it's crazy, the state with no
Speaker 1: power and the state with an oligarch who's running things here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's great. Let's see here, any meany money, We'll do
Speaker 1: a couple more. More. People have been doing this in
Speaker 1: the kitchen due to the pandemic cooking well, yeah, but
Speaker 1: canning fruit and veggies. Yeah, no, you don't can fruit
Speaker 1: and veggies. Yes, you know, I freeze. It isn't that
Speaker 1: kind of the same thing. You're just gonna put it
Speaker 1: in a bag instead of a can. Yeah, But when
Speaker 1: you put it in a can, don't you need to
Speaker 1: put preservatives in that. I have no idea. I've never
Speaker 1: put fruit or veggies in a can. I don't know
Speaker 1: how that works. I have no idea. All right, this
Speaker 1: is important, guest gun, because if you ever do get
Speaker 1: married that you're gonna need this. Pent of women do
Speaker 1: not like being called this by their husband. Honey, No, babe,
Speaker 1: trop trophy wife. Boy, that's my trophy wife over there. No,
Speaker 1: it sounds like a hard ocindo when you do that,
Speaker 1: don't you He kind of sounds like I mean, but
Speaker 1: if it's true, though, do you see coach Oh, we
Speaker 1: talked about that in the ra coach. Oh is photos
Speaker 1: going around at him with the younger lady there. That's
Speaker 1: his trophy. They're not married, but that's like his trophy wife.
Speaker 1: You know, how old do you think she? I say,
Speaker 1: she's about thirty five. Yeah, it looks about thirty. But
Speaker 1: he's almost sixty. So yeah, that's the twenty five year
Speaker 1: age gap give her take. That's pretty large, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess. So where she from anyway, I don't know
Speaker 1: anything about her. I just saw two photos of her,
Speaker 1: one in the pool and one in the bed. I
Speaker 1: don't know anything about her. It's gonna be looking good
Speaker 1: looking lady, but I don't know. Kind of reminds me
Speaker 1: of Cliff Kingsbury from a few years ago. I remember
Speaker 1: what he was doing. I guess at the pool party
Speaker 1: something like that. Well, the coaches, the way to get
Speaker 1: the beautiful young women is to be a coach. Mike Zimmer, right,
Speaker 1: Zimmer in the Minnesota We talked about him in the past,
Speaker 1: and then Coachoe. What about Jeff Bezos, Yeah, well there's
Speaker 1: another one. You look at the evolution of Jeff Bezos
Speaker 1: right from nerd tech guy to a balden genius with
Speaker 1: all the hotties. Great personality, right, Like, it's amazing how
Speaker 1: much better your personality gets when you have a gazillion
Speaker 1: dollars in the bank. All right, Surprisingly, this business, it
Speaker 1: is a surprise, has not been doing well during the pandemic,
Speaker 1: with visits down nearly thirteen percent over the summer. Um,
Speaker 1: do do do do this business? The dentist, now, the
Speaker 1: drug store was because people aren't going to doctors unless
Speaker 1: they have the corona, so they're not getting medicine to
Speaker 1: treat their Maybe I bought this is this hurting fiser?
Speaker 1: I bought some antibiotics a few days ago. It costs Congratulations,
Speaker 1: it cost me two dollars and two cents. That's good.
Speaker 1: That is unthinkable five six, seven years ago. So is
Speaker 1: that because if you're your insurance, obviously they covered the
Speaker 1: balance of it there. Yeah, so okay, last one here
Speaker 1: of people admit that they have lied to get out
Speaker 1: of this out of a ticket, no, a wedding, A wedding. Yeah, yeah, success,
Speaker 1: And I would assume that would be to attend to wedding, right, like,
Speaker 1: I can't make it, but not if you're actually in
Speaker 1: the wedding. You can't pull a Richard Jefferson and just
Speaker 1: at the last minute, like I thought being in a
Speaker 1: wedding would be cool, and then I had all my
Speaker 1: friends started getting married, and then I started being in them,
Speaker 1: and it sucking. Sucked because you gotta because you gutta
Speaker 1: start paying for ship. You gotta start paying the you know,
Speaker 1: get the tuxedo, and then you gonna start paying for
Speaker 1: an additional gift for the groom and they're gonna worry
Speaker 1: about like obviously the bachelor party, which is prior to
Speaker 1: number one, but everything else is just a fucking hassle. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, I've all I've been in some weddis. It
Speaker 1: was like my relatives or whatever, but that's it. I
Speaker 1: don't I don't think anyone has has really had me
Speaker 1: other than relatives. But a lot of the people I know,
Speaker 1: we're already married. Like when I got into radio, a
Speaker 1: lot of the people were already are older than me
Speaker 1: and they've been married and all that stuff. So it's
Speaker 1: a a wee bit different. What we bit different? What's
Speaker 1: your take on getting someone that's already been married once
Speaker 1: a second time getting them a gift? Um, I think
Speaker 1: you go smaller, you can get him, So yeah, But
Speaker 1: don't go big. You get the big gift the first
Speaker 1: time you get married. The second time, you know, not
Speaker 1: so much. But what if the woman has only been married,
Speaker 1: or what if that's our first time getting married. Um,
Speaker 1: then that's a little bit. It depends how much you
Speaker 1: like him. It depends how much you like him, right enough? Yeah,
Speaker 1: so all right, Well that'll do it. Thank you, appreciate that.
Speaker 1: I remember Benny versus the penny. If you've made it
Speaker 1: all the way here, download that. Tell a friend it's
Speaker 1: marginal handicapping on the NFL for all the games on
Speaker 1: Sunday and Monday. Be sure to catch live editions of
Speaker 1: The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven
Speaker 1: pm Pacific.