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Speaker 1: If you would like to have us answer your questions.

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Speaker 2: If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or

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Speaker 2: a terrible throuffle, guess what you've got decisions.

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Speaker 3: You've got decisions, baby, and I do too.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, guys, I wish you could delete that.

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Speaker 3: Well. I am just trying to come up with a

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Speaker 3: jingle because I came my decisions ding. I mean, I

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Speaker 3: can do that too, But that's not a jingle. Like

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Speaker 3: the way these jingles be making money. Do you know

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Speaker 3: how much money fucking justin Timberlake made from the goddamn

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Speaker 3: McDonald's jingle, Like there is.

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Speaker 1: Maybe any money.

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Speaker 3: There is some money in jingles, hunt and so if

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Speaker 3: anybody want to use my jingles, baby, go ahead and

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Speaker 3: keep that check.

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Speaker 2: Talking about you bringing up justin Timberlake, someone was bringing

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Speaker 2: them up yesterday and I said, oh my god, I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna go see the Backstreet boys in Vegas.

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Speaker 1: Oh you're embarrassed. You would be, you would be some who.

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Speaker 3: I said, You're no longer welcome because what the fuck?

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Speaker 1: Oh you should see? I am my boy was the era.

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Speaker 1: No bitch, it does no, no, no, no, no no no.

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Speaker 1: I am very highly disappointed, like very.

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Speaker 3: I literally am doing this thing with my friends where

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Speaker 3: I play like five seconds of the intro of a

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Speaker 3: Backstreet Voice song and they have to know the song otherwise, no, bitch,

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Speaker 3: you're not welcome. Oh you're gonna go oh bitch, duh.

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Speaker 3: It's literally the weekend of our goddamn Vegas show. That's

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Speaker 3: why when you were like, you were like, do we

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Speaker 3: have to go to Vegas? Oh? Yeah, bitch, wor hive

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Speaker 3: anyone listening right now if you guys want to join

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Speaker 3: us in Las Vegas. We finally got a Saturday show

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Speaker 3: a HB tour dot com.

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Speaker 1: I'm looking to do some little.

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Speaker 3: Where that's Sunday. That Sunday is the Backstreet Boys concert.

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Speaker 3: So maybe that's given bring your ass to Vegas, plan

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Speaker 3: to be a whole Friday, Saturday Sunday. But Sunday we

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Speaker 3: going to see the motherfucking Backstreet Boys at the Spear.

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Speaker 3: Saturday you getting your holes barred, all of them at

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Speaker 3: the No Holes Barred Tour. And then Friday is where

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Speaker 3: you could just be a houll hole because you just

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Speaker 3: landed and do the drugs all you want.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that it's in the sphere.

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Speaker 2: I keep trying to figure out do I get fucked

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Speaker 2: up on shrooms or not? Do I want to have

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Speaker 2: them bring out like the medical wheelchair or not? Because

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Speaker 2: it's a very overwhelming thing if you take a look

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Speaker 2: at it. Anybody googles the Las Vegas Spear craziest production

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Speaker 2: Like it's basically a globe you sit in and it

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Speaker 2: just washes over you.

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Speaker 3: I'm telling you, I don't know what BSB boy to do,

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Speaker 3: but I mean all all I know is I'm I'm

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Speaker 3: hyped to see them whites, Okay, And I know I

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Speaker 3: don't speak heavily of them very often on this podcast.

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Speaker 1: Y'all know, I just raved about Jake Jillenhall.

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Speaker 3: But y'all, y'all have known my love for him already,

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Speaker 3: so god to see him and y'all know, I mean

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Speaker 3: not that to my own horn, but AJ has actually

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Speaker 3: sung me Happy Birthday personally, So oh, let's right out.

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Speaker 3: I'm right, I'm gonna hear AJ like, Hey, I know

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Speaker 3: the one knows, like, hey, let me get back stage, real, Craick,

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Speaker 3: let me say hot to the month?

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Speaker 1: Meane did duntil? Okay? Anyway, we're gonna start off with

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Speaker 1: a quick one.

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Speaker 3: We're gonna we're gonna drop y'all a quick two piece

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Speaker 3: this Wednesday, just because one is like, girl, come on,

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Speaker 3: we're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna help you out, but

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Speaker 3: there's not much to say.

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Speaker 1: And then the next one is a little bit more vanilla.

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Speaker 3: So this first one, by the way, if you want

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Speaker 3: us to answer your questions, go ahead and email us

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Speaker 3: Decisions Pod at gmail dot com. This first one is

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Speaker 3: titled I Can't Get My Nut. Hey, y'all, I'm a

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Speaker 3: twenty one year old lesbian college student, still a virgin,

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Speaker 3: and I've never really had a good experience with masturbation.

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Speaker 3: I just started for the first time ever. Recently, I've

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Speaker 3: tried to use my fingers, a bullet, and even the

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Speaker 3: rose toy, but I haven't felt much pleasure or ever

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Speaker 3: reached an orgasm. I enjoy watching porn that's made with

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Speaker 3: the female gaze in mind. Something actually feels intimate and

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Speaker 3: focuses on women's pleasure.

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Speaker 1: And it definitely turns me on mentally.

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Speaker 3: But I've never been able to physically make myself feel good.

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Speaker 3: I've been numerous Oh I've been nervous about trying a

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Speaker 3: dial dough since I'm worried it might be painful. Any

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Speaker 3: tips on how to get more comfortable with my body

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Speaker 3: and hopefully start enjoying the experience more and most importantly

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Speaker 3: getting my first nuts.

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Speaker 1: Well, a deal more woe in you is a little

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Speaker 1: too advanced.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, especially if you're identifying as a lesbian and probably

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Speaker 3: haven't had any sort of penetration.

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Speaker 1: I'm not sure if.

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Speaker 3: That is what I would recommend off the top. However,

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Speaker 3: I do actually have a chapter about this. How can

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Speaker 3: I expect you to please me if I can't please myself?

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Speaker 3: It's the first chapter in No Holds Barred. And the

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Speaker 3: crazy thing about it is a lot of us often

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Speaker 3: assume that in masturbation, in order to receive pleasure it

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Speaker 3: has to be insertion in vagina or playing of the clip,

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Speaker 3: And the fact of the matter is you could have

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Speaker 3: so many other like orogenous zones on you that could

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Speaker 3: cause you to orgasm. I don't know if you've guys

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Speaker 3: gone back through the catalog, but I remember talking about

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Speaker 3: receiving an ear orgasm on the podcast because this guy

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Speaker 3: just breathed in my ear in bitch, my whole body,

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Speaker 3: baby was fucking clay for me.

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Speaker 2: I had a Yoni massage like a Volva massage, without

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Speaker 2: fingers inside of me was just literally the outer area

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Speaker 2: of my vagina no clatorial stimulation hither. And I don't

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Speaker 2: know if we're exploring enough on our own bodies before masturbation.

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Speaker 2: So the first thing I was thinking and you said that,

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh girl, nice music, Dimly light your

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Speaker 2: room and oil your body up and just touch different

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Speaker 2: places to feel your body yep like and being.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes we're not comfortable with our body all the way.

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Speaker 2: I just really like went through some crazy weight changes

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Speaker 2: with switching birth control and whatever and feeling uncomfortable. I

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Speaker 2: realized I hadn't touched my stomach and my hips in

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Speaker 2: like a month because I just hated looking at them.

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Speaker 2: And then finally when I did it a few nights ago,

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, like it's been so

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Speaker 2: long since I've touched my own body because I've just

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Speaker 2: been uncomfortable in it.

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Speaker 1: Like we've got to.

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Speaker 2: And I think that brain is one that doesn't understand

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Speaker 2: their body, Like you need to figure out how to

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Speaker 2: touch yourself slowly, how to use your nails, just how

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Speaker 2: to be more playful. But when it comes to penetrative toys,

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Speaker 2: I've never really heard anyone say they used those before

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Speaker 2: actual penetrative sex with man or women, because you may

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Speaker 2: never I mean, you're lesbian, so just penetrative sex with

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Speaker 2: a man probably won't happen.

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Speaker 1: It will happen with a woman.

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Speaker 2: So if you'd like to lose your virginity with a

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Speaker 2: woman in that way, I would wait until you get there, like,

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Speaker 2: just practice first, knowing your vagina out. I would say,

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Speaker 2: there's nothing wrong though, if you want to use the

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Speaker 2: deal though, just to prepare yourself if you plan to

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Speaker 2: get strapped by another woman, like, I don't see I

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Speaker 2: don't see that being a bad thing, because to be fair,

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Speaker 2: I'm I feel like one of God's chosen, but only

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Speaker 2: because I also like dick. I orgasm through penetration, like

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Speaker 2: I've talked about on this pod, not really enjoying like

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Speaker 2: oral sex as much.

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Speaker 1: And only really being.

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Speaker 3: Able to come like with my clip by myself honestly,

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Speaker 3: but I come so hard with penetration, and maybe that

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Speaker 3: could be you as well. I mean, even though you're

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Speaker 3: you're lesbian, you can absolutely still enjoy the pleasure of

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Speaker 3: penetration through a dildo or a strap or any of

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Speaker 3: the other toys that are present too. I'm not against

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Speaker 3: that I do like what Weezy said and feeling your

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Speaker 3: whole body. And I just want to add one more

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Speaker 3: tip if you're worried about the the painfulness that may

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Speaker 3: come with a dildo because you haven't been penetrated. This

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Speaker 3: is gonna sound weird, but one of the ways that

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Speaker 3: I come the hardest, and it's because I am such

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Speaker 3: more of a visual.

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Speaker 1: And psychological masturbator. While I'm watching porn, I talk and

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Speaker 1: make noises.

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Speaker 3: So I direct the people or I act like they're

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Speaker 3: my partner and I'm receiving pleasure from watching them in

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Speaker 3: the act. So I kind of role play while watching porn,

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Speaker 3: and that turns me on so much.

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Speaker 1: Just talking.

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Speaker 3: I moan hearing myself, just hearing myself, which is ironic

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Speaker 3: because I fucking for a living and I know some

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Speaker 3: of y'all are sick.

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Speaker 1: Of hearing me.

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Speaker 3: But hearing myself like guide the people in porn as

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Speaker 3: if I'm in the room is something that almost immediately

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Speaker 3: makes me come. And so I know we talk about

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Speaker 3: sex in the physical way, there's a way that you

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Speaker 3: can masturbate psychologically that will make you fucking come and

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Speaker 3: bitch go straight to sleep.

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Speaker 1: That's how I go to sleep almost every night, so

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Speaker 1: that would be my second.

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Speaker 2: Be some more sexuality going on with yourself with your head,

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Speaker 2: Like most people that are masturbating often and doing it

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Speaker 2: successfully are kind of practicing sexual thoughts more than others.

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Speaker 2: Like most times that I'm hearing women go through scenarios

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Speaker 2: like this, they aren't necessarily thinking about sex as often.

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Speaker 2: And not finding themselves as horny doesn't mean you aren't horny.

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Speaker 2: It just means, like it may not be top of mine.

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Speaker 2: You actually really do have to dedicate time to finding

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Speaker 2: out what you like because we pushed sex aside a

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Speaker 2: lot in a relationship and with ourselves. Like I can't

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Speaker 2: tell you the last time I'm masturbated. I just haven't

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Speaker 2: set out time to do it. I haven't been thinking

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Speaker 2: about it has nothing to do with the fact that

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Speaker 2: I have a boyfriend. We should one hundred percent still

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Speaker 2: be you know, pleasing ourselves. So I think we all

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Speaker 2: just kind of like slip up.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree.

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Speaker 3: Well, I hope that we were able to help you

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Speaker 3: or anyone else facing this problem. We're gonna go to

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Speaker 3: this second one. We're gonna make it a little bit

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Speaker 3: more vanilla and not so sex based, but Hopefully this

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Speaker 3: relates to some of you guys listening to Hi Weezy

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Speaker 3: and Mandy, hoping you both could share some insight around

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Speaker 3: being the only entrepreneur friend. For context, I'm taking over

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Speaker 3: my mom's business and because she's from a different generation,

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Speaker 3: that has meant full rebranding, new marketing, finding new accounts,

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Speaker 3: et cetera. It's been so much work on my part,

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Speaker 3: but super reward and I'm so excited about the future

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Speaker 3: and what we're building. I just found out my three

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Speaker 3: best friends are doing a euro trip without me, and

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Speaker 3: although I've come to be okay with being the friend

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Speaker 3: that can't always attend things, I also can't help but

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Speaker 3: feeling like I'm missing out and at the same time,

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Speaker 3: none of them understand this chapter I'm in right now

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Speaker 3: since I'm the only entrepreneur friend. Any advice on dealing

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Speaker 3: with this is so appreciated. Did you deal with this

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Speaker 3: while growing your businesses?

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Speaker 1: Hmm? With gratitude? And that's the question. Yeah, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: If I ever dealt with oh, I guess, yeah, I

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Speaker 2: guess right now. But mostly my LA friends they're like

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Speaker 2: newer friends. I think they need like more availability for me.

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Speaker 1: They don't want to bother me like friends feel like

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Speaker 1: they're putting pressure on me. And sometimes.

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Speaker 2: I think it also depends, like, Okay, we've all been there,

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Speaker 2: every single person. I have a bunch friends I haven't

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Speaker 2: called in weeks or months, But at the same time,

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Speaker 2: we're both not putting in the effort. That doesn't really

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Speaker 2: mean they go anywhere. Sometimes things can be like seasonal.

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Speaker 2: Me and Vinnie just realized we hadn't been on a

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Speaker 2: FaceTime in a month and we just made the time

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Speaker 2: to do it.

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Speaker 1: We're tattooed on each other twice.

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Speaker 2: That doesn't mean this isn't my brother, or I didn't

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Speaker 2: put him inside of no hol's barred, like I love Anny,

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Speaker 2: but we just go through moments. People go through moments

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Speaker 2: where they kind of just forget. And I think if

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Speaker 2: you haven't been keeping up with your friends. Now, if

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Speaker 2: you were with these bitches doing brunch every Sunday and

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Speaker 2: then they left you out, that's a different story.

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Speaker 1: But in this context, who cares. They love you, they

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Speaker 1: care about you.

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Speaker 2: Maybe you guys haven't been keeping up as much as

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Speaker 2: you should.

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Speaker 1: Don't feel like.

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Speaker 2: You're sacrificing business and friends. You're only making more time

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Speaker 2: for yourself and building yourself, and sometimes that free time

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Speaker 2: that you may have been spending with your friends going

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Speaker 2: towards you can seem like, all right, our girls on

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Speaker 2: her shit right now, but don't look at it in

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Speaker 2: a bad way.

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Speaker 3: As I also want to add, because this is how

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Speaker 3: I am. There's only so many times I can invite

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Speaker 3: a friend before I stop, because every time I invite

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Speaker 3: them they say no, or every time I invite them

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Speaker 3: they can't make it, or every time I invite.

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Speaker 1: Them they're late.

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Speaker 3: Like, there's a few things that will keep me from

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Speaker 3: just being like, oh, this person just isn't available right now.

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Speaker 3: So if these three friends have been doing that and

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Speaker 3: they plan this European trip, I think you should look

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Speaker 3: at the consideration as well. Like, I get that maybe

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Speaker 3: you would have liked the invite, but you followed it

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Speaker 3: up with I'm okay with being the friend that always

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Speaker 3: can't attend things. So I think you have to sit

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Speaker 3: with what it means for you to be this entrepreneur

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Speaker 3: and get into the passion of what this business entails.

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Speaker 1: The fact that you're.

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Speaker 3: Literally going to be doing a full rebranding, new marketing,

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Speaker 3: and diving into this I don't want you to hold

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Speaker 3: again to your friends the moments that you can't share

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Speaker 3: with them at this very moment, but also understand that

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Speaker 3: you are the person that hasn't been able to attend

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Speaker 3: things because you're taking on this load. And so I

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Speaker 3: think that's that's the number one question as well for

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Speaker 3: entrepreneurs or people who work a lot, right, is that

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Speaker 3: work life balance? And so I don't want you to

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Speaker 3: feel as though these friends aren't showing up for you

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Speaker 3: in a time that you can't attend something that they've

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Speaker 3: been able to make time for simply because now you

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Speaker 3: guys don't have that same schedule. I can't say that

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Speaker 3: I've necessarily dealt with this only because I consider sex

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Speaker 3: workers entrepreneurs and so my entire adulthood has been filled

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Speaker 3: with friends starting businesses or using.

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Speaker 1: Their self as businesses.

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Speaker 3: So I haven't really had to deal with too much

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Speaker 3: of the up and downs of friends having a nine

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Speaker 3: to five and me having a more flippant schedule.

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Speaker 2: A lot of my friends is a commodity, so you're

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Speaker 2: not spending money maybe as much on branding and shit.

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Speaker 2: For example, Like it's think of someone that's maybe doing

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Speaker 2: a service. Let's say you're a closet organizer or a

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Speaker 2: sex worker. These are both things that you've got to

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Speaker 2: show up for. Maybe you're not spending big money on

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Speaker 2: like items or you know what I mean, like things

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Speaker 2: you need to sell, Like.

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Speaker 1: All of them could kind of look different.

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Speaker 2: But maybe she's spending a lot building this new business

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Speaker 2: and her friends are just trying to be respectful.

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Speaker 3: Because that's what I said. That's if they just didn't

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Speaker 3: even invite you. It could very well be that as well.

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Speaker 3: It could be a money thing. It could be your availability.

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Speaker 3: I just let into availability because she literally said I

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Speaker 3: can't always attend things. So that leads me to believe

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Speaker 3: that you're aware that you're in this chapter, but you've

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Speaker 3: also maybe been invited to a few things and also

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Speaker 3: couldn't make it.

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Speaker 1: Two things can be true.

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Speaker 3: I think you should express to your friends, Hey, guys,

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Speaker 3: I know, I know I can't always make things, but

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Speaker 3: it would just mean a lot to me to be

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Speaker 3: extended the invite because as a friend, there could be

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Speaker 3: times in Okay, we're going to invite this whole no,

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Speaker 3: and she can't come, but we still want to consider her.

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Speaker 1: So that's that could also be a thing too.

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Speaker 3: We talk about communication with relationships all the time. I

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Speaker 3: think communication in friendships is just as important. And so

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Speaker 3: if you're feeling left out, I'm not telling you you can't.

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Speaker 1: Feel that way.

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Speaker 3: Everyone is entitled to feel how they want, but then

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Speaker 3: you need to communicate.

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Speaker 1: Hey, I'm in this transitional spot. This is a lot

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Speaker 1: on me right now, but it would mean a lot

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Speaker 1: if I still just was extended the invite.

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Speaker 2: Now, even my advice to you, being an adult means

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Speaker 2: being honest about your feelings. Like shout out to my

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Speaker 2: friends Nia and Stephanie. They both live in LA. They're

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Speaker 2: my friends that became friends. These bitches was doing shit

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Speaker 2: the other day going to lunch, and they did it

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Speaker 2: in the group chat like that we all share. And

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Speaker 2: I'm laughing to myself because I'm like, oh, I already

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Speaker 2: know they like like, ah, easy can't come ha ha.

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Speaker 2: But I felt included, whether they know it or not,

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Speaker 2: for some reason putting me in the group chat them.

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Speaker 1: I'm five minutes away, I'm all the way in New York.

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Speaker 1: I can't be with y'all right now on Melrose.

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Speaker 2: But it was kind of cute to include me because

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Speaker 2: I voiced once I was jealous. Now ninety eight percent

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Speaker 2: of me is being facetious. Two percent of me wishes

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Speaker 2: I was with my friends. However, at the end of

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Speaker 2: the day, when I've just made that joke about being

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Speaker 2: jealous or whatever, it's because I know I'm too busy

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Speaker 2: to go hang out with y'all right now. But I

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Speaker 2: love that my two friends found this in each other,

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Speaker 2: and I like just keeping up with them. So there's

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Speaker 2: a world of you being like, all right, y'all, I

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Speaker 2: can't make it to Europe, but like, I need the tea,

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Speaker 2: I want the updates when y'all hit Paris or wherever

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Speaker 2: they're going, Like, you know, letting them know something like that,

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Speaker 2: because there may be a world where they felt like

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Speaker 2: you couldn't go and they feel weird to bring it

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Speaker 2: up too, because they don't want.

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Speaker 1: To make you feel bad. So figure out what makes

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Speaker 1: you feel most comfortable.

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Speaker 2: And as far as like sharing how you feel, is

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Speaker 2: it flat out making the joke so that they know it, is.

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Speaker 1: It saying it?

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Speaker 2: Because I know that it's very vulnerable to tell someone

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Speaker 2: I feel left out, and I think girls can get

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Speaker 2: super catty. You know, Mandy and I are thirty four

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Speaker 2: years old and a lot of our friends we had

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Speaker 2: a long time. But I don't know your age, but

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Speaker 2: I found I struggled sometimes with women friendships in my

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Speaker 2: younger twenties that I don't anymore. If I see five

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Speaker 2: of my homegirls hanging out, I don't think the poe

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Speaker 2: is talking about me, you know what I'm saying. Like

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Speaker 2: when you're younger, sometimes you go through these ebbs and

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Speaker 2: flows of friendship and sisterhood takes a while to figure out.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes your real friends it takes a while to figure out.

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Speaker 2: And I think, depending on what level you're at, sharing

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Speaker 2: it with the closest person to you in that group

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Speaker 2: would be helpful. Maybe not everybody, but just one because

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Speaker 2: I really do believe women have had experiences with other

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Speaker 2: women that kind of deter them from sharing their emotions.

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Speaker 2: That's inevitable. We've all had a friend go through it,

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Speaker 2: even if it hasn't been us. So yeah, like making

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Speaker 2: sure you know you do have a strong backing with

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Speaker 2: someone so that you don't have to do this thing

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Speaker 2: of keeping it inside.

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Speaker 1: I agree.

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Speaker 3: And then I think, just as an entrepreneur, the last

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Speaker 3: tidbit of advice, like I said, would be to separate

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Speaker 3: the two. Growing a business is like having a baby,

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Speaker 3: so and knowing that you have to do the full

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Speaker 3: rebrand and full shake up of this business. Think of

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Speaker 3: this as a as a brand new baby, and that's

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Speaker 3: what it is. And so there has to be a

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Speaker 3: way where you can separate what you want to do

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Speaker 3: in your personal life and doing the needed and necessary

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Speaker 3: investment to make sure that this business succeeds. And you

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Speaker 3: just have to know as an entrepreneur that you're going

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Speaker 3: to miss out on some trips, you go miss out

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Speaker 3: on some events, you go miss out on some fucking brunches,

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Speaker 3: But I don't know you'll get to a point where

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Speaker 3: it This is why you're working this hard and spending

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Speaker 3: so much time so that you can provide yourself that

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Speaker 3: free time in the future to do all the things

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Speaker 3: that you.

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Speaker 1: Want first class.

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Speaker 3: What a lay flat? Okay, So good luck write us in.

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00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:20,959
Speaker 3: Hopefully you have that conversation with your friends. Thank you

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00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,840
Speaker 3: guys so much for writing in. If you want to

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00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:29,400
Speaker 3: send your letters in, email us Decisions Pod at gmail

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00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:32,120
Speaker 3: dot com. And if you want to see the full

402
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:35,560
Speaker 3: video of this, make sure you go ahead and join

403
00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:40,080
Speaker 3: us over on Patreon. That's patreon dot com. Backslash Horrible

404
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:43,960
Speaker 3: Decisions maybe Horrible Decisions hasn't gone anywhere. You could get

405
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,520
Speaker 3: it for as little as five dollars a month, and

406
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:49,600
Speaker 3: you get the video for this, and you get an

407
00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:54,040
Speaker 3: extra episode every week. So you got every Monday Decisions Decisions,

408
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:58,560
Speaker 3: every Tuesday, Horrible Decisions, and then every Wednesday you got

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00:20:58,680 --> 00:20:59,720
Speaker 3: Decisions supposed to help.

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00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:02,880
Speaker 1: Anyways, Thank you guys so much. Make sure you pre

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00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:03,600
Speaker 1: order our.

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00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:08,720
Speaker 3: Book, No Holds, Part A dual manifesto of sexual exploration

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00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:10,280
Speaker 3: and power.

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00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:13,760
Speaker 2: All right, jingle bell, al right, guys, and we will

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00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:14,919
Speaker 2: see y'all next.

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00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:18,400
Speaker 1: The week and on tour NHB tour dot com. See

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Speaker 1: you there,